The Troop (2009) s01e20 Episode Script

[soft growls, rustling]
[growls]
Felix I don't get it.
TroopGrid said there was
activity in this area.
Jake Well, maybe
TroopGrid is wrong.
Felix Take that back!
TroopGrid is a culmination
of all human knowledge.
If it's wrong then everything
we know is wrong.
Jake Then why does TroopGrid
always call me Jack?
Felix Unlike humans, Jake,
TroopGrid has a sense of humor.
Hayley Are you guys done?
If this Dracos Erythrocephalus
is as dangerous as they say
it is, things can get
as hairy as your mom.
Jake What?
Felix You know,
Warren Yourmom.
Sits in front of me
in History class.
Hasn't had a hair
cut in six years.
Jake There it is!
[rustling, growls]
[Felix grunts]
[whack]
Ow! Ah!
[rustling]
Phoebe Oh my gosh.
Aw, hey there, little lizard.
I'm gonna call you Sam.
Phoebe You okay in there?
It'll just take me a second
to make up your bed.
We're going to have so
much fun together, Sam.
I can teach you computer games.
Jake Phoebe!
Oh, that's Jake,
my dumb brother.
Jake Phoebe.
Shh
Phoebe, where were you?
We agreed I'd pick you
up at the bus stop.
Well, yeah.
I waited at the bus stop.
It seemed like forever.
It was just a few minutes.
So when I figured
you were dead,
I went off to forge for food.
You're making this a lot
harder than it has to be.
Mom and Dad are away,
and they left me in charge.
I would appreciate it, if just
once, you would listen to me.
Here's your snack.
Phoebe An apple?
Didn't Mom and Dad give
you $20 snack budget?
Yeah, but I have
my own expenses besides
buying the apples.
Washing, distribution fees,
fringe expenses, polishing
Phoebe Why don't you give me
the $20 and I'll deal with
the snack distribution fees?
Hah, Phoebe, we both know
I can't trust you to do that.
How can you say that?
I'm totally trustworthy.
Dracos Pheewt!
Felix Ow! Ow! Ow!
Stop moving, you big baby.
You're not the one with
the Dragon scale in youuuuu!
Wait.
This is its scale?
Yeah.
So cool.
Oh, look, still warm.
Ah, um-hm.
That's great.
You need to keep that
thing away from me.
Thatthere's a bad juju.
What are you talking about?
It's all in the Dracos file.
That scale is one of the three
unluckiest talismans along
with the pendant of fire
andand any
discount ear piercing.
There's no such
thing as luck,
only reason and coincidence.
This Dragon scale couldn't
possibly hurt me.
Ow! My eye!
Ow!
[Hayley snickers]
Good news, guys.
I'm back.
Okay, well, we now know
what TroopGrid picked up on.
Because a Dracos
hatching is so rare
Once every 1,132 years.
Hayley It creates a rift
between our dimensions.
If we don't return the baby then
the portal will remain open.
Felix Then there will
be an unstoppable flood
of monsters into our dimension.
Life as we know it
will cease to exist.
Then what are we waiting for?
We've got a baby Dragon to find.
Hayley Jake, you've have
towatch Phoebe, remember?
[Jake sighs]
Phoebe, right.
Well, good luck, guys.
Thanks, but no thanks.
There's no such thing as luck.
[crash, zap]
Phoebe Aw, don't
you look cute?
I don't think my Cuddly Coco
Doll will mind you borrowing
her dress to sleep in.
Just for you.
A feast for a princess.
[sniffs]
Well, half a feast.
I was hungry.
[chomp, gulp]
Geez, that was fast.
You eat just like my brother.
[burp]
Phew, and you
smell like him too.
Felix?
What the?
Are you okay?
Hey, Mr. Stockley.
Oh, I'm fine.
Just a slight mishap.
I'm guessing that you
still have that Dracos scale
Hayley talked about.
Yes,
only to prove that the Dracos
scale has nothing to do
with luck and is
completely harmless.
Okay.
No!
Not Cuddly Coco.
Sam!
Sam?
[growl]
Sam!
[growl]
Sam, how could you?
Jake Phoebe!
Donotmove.
[growl]
Jake Whatin the
worldhappened here?
I left a window open?
Jake Window open?
Are you kidding?
It looks like there
was a fire in here.
What happened?
A hot wind.
That's it.
You're grounded.
What?
You can't ground me,
only Mom can do that.
It's from Mom, giving
me grounding jurisdiction.
I didn't agree to it.
Phoebe on recorder "and
I'll abide by the restrictions
laid out by Mom in exchange for
chocolate ice cream tonight."
That chocolate ice cream
always does me in.
Should have held out
for whipped cream.
Maybe we need some
real communication.
Some truths.
Let's rap.
I'm not like Mom or Dad.
Don't even think of me
as your brother Jake.
I'm just a cool guy
and I'm here to listen.
What is wrong with you!
Just tell me what happened here!
Okay.
Here's the truth.
It's Sam's fault.
He's my friend who
lives in the closet.
He destroyed the room.
Oh, really?
Sam, huh?
Why don't we just invite
this quote-unquote friend
out for a tea party?
I don't think
that's a good idea.
Well, I do.
[growl]
[flame roars]
Still think it's a good idea?
Ahaah.
[Sam growls]
Yup, that's the Dracos
we've been looking for.
It's bigger than I remember.
[roar of flame]
These things have a
maturation period of two days.
Which means in 12 hours, we're
going to have a full-grown,
fire-breathing fearsome Dragon.
Named Sam-ilicious.
"Sam-ilicious?"
It was between "Sam-ilicious"
and "Puddin' Face",
but I'm saving "Puddin' Face"
for when I have kids.
We need to get Sam out
of there before he grows
right out of the house.
I got it covered.
Phoebe Hey, you
can't just take Sam.
Jake Phoebe,
you're a little girl.
You can't have your own Dragon.
Yes, because that's a job
for a high school mime club.
Hayley As a matter off fact,
we need to get him right back
to head.mime headquarters
and we're going to develop
a lizard-themed mime.
Which he's be perfect for.
You can't just take him.
He's my pet.
I have rights.
Jake This is a dangerous
monster and you're
I am not.
What was I gonna say?
I don't know.
Hm.
[thumps]
Hayley Felix?
Felix, are you okay?
Did the Dragon hurt you?
Felix The Dragon
didn't do anything.
I tranqued it right away.
Then, what took so long?
Well, funny story.
Ha ha.
I stepped on the bear then
fell into the doll house,
knocked over the lamp which
sort of gave me a shock.
In order to break my fall, I put
my hands out to grab the curtain
but then the curtain rod hit
my head and when I stood up,
my sweater snagged
the Eiffel Tower.
Can you believe that?
Really?
Hayley, Hayley, this has
nothing to do with luck.
[crash, zap]
Jake Okay, you got your book.
Here's a water and here's your
last apple for the night.
Okay.
Jake Promise me
you will just wait here
and not do anything weird.
I'm just gonna go into the
janitor's closet for a while.
In the janitor's closet?
You just wait here,
and don't open this door.
Fine.
[flame roars]
What an amazing creature.
When I look at it
I can only think of one thing.
Marshmallows.
No.
How to get it home.
Oh, yeah.
Me too.
The key is to find
it a portal.
Once we locate it, we can
put the Dracos through it
and close it up.
Felix I think the Dracos
himself will help us find it.
All of our problems will
be solved once it wakes up.
I'm going to study it.
[keypad beeps]
[force field powers down]
Are sure that's a good idea?
Yes.
Jake, this Dragon falling
on our laps is one
of the luckiest things
that's ever happened to me.
Now, someone hand me the probe.
[keypad beeps]
[force field powers up]
Well, if you're right
about the Dracos leading us
to the portal, I promise
to buy everyonea marshmallow.
Wow, thank you, Mr. Stockley.
Felix Now, to probe
the Dragon.
Stockley Hey, that
takes a lot of work.
Getting the marshmallow,
finding it, bringing it home.
I know, right.
I'm surprised
you're willing to waive
the distribution fee.
Heh!
[flame roars]
Get me outta here!
He's waking up!
Stockley Sorry, Felix.
If we open the cell,
something could get out.
Yeah, I know.
That something is me.
You said it yourself,
we need the Dracos
to find the portal.
[flame roars]
Felix It's too hot! Too hot!
Okay, fine, fine.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
It's okay, it's okay.
We won't hurt you.
Poor Sam, he's so scared.
Or angry.
I say both.
[flame roars]
Actually, I think he
might be looking for Phoebe.
You said they have a bond.
Felix Yeah, why don't you
bring Phoebe down here
to HQ and calm him down.
What?
No way.
She's going to stay as far away
from this thing as possible.
He's too dangerous
and she's too young.
We've got no choice, Jake.
Phoebe's the only one
that can calm the Dracos and
at the rate that Sam is growing,
our tranquilizers aren't
going to work much longer.
Jake, think of everyone
that'll be in danger
if we don't let Phoebe try.
Felix Yeah, think
of the danger, ahhh!
[growl]
Jake So, what do you think?
What do I think?
[whack, groan]
[slap]
That's for not telling me.
I can't believe you got mad at
me for lying to you about Sam
when you've been lying
to me about all of this.
I'm your sister!
What was I suppose to say?
"Guess what, Phoebe,
I'm part of a secret
monster hunting society."
Well, it's less embarrassing
than Mime Club.
[flame roars]
[Felix groans]
Sam!
Is he okay?
Hayley Oh no no,
that's just Felix.
Phoebe Do what you want
with Felix, but let Sam out.
[zap]
We can't.
Until we figure out how the
Dracos can help us find the
portal, it's safer for everyone
if Sam stays locked up.
Trust me, this is
for your own good.
Sam wouldn't hurt me.
Now open this thing.
Stockley Well, it
seems like it's working.
The Dracos seems to be happy.
[Sam purrs]
[beeps]
[force field powers down]
Phoebe Hi, Sam.
How're you doing?
[Felix gasps]
That was fun.
Here, take this.
Hayley Joining the world
of the superstitious?
[cough]
Maybe.
Phoebe It's okay,
Samilicious.
Felix I'm going to go change.
Phoebe Everything's
going to be all right.
I'm right here, okay.
So when can I take
him back home?
You can't.
He can't stay here all night.
He needs to get
back into his crib.
No, he stays in the cell
until we can figure out
how to get him back
to his own dimension.
And that's final.
That's totally unfair.
Life is unfair!
Wow, it does feel
pretty good saying that.
I think Dad is on to something.
Phoebe, look.
I know your brother is a giant,
insensitive Neanderthal
Hey!
Hayley But he's only
doing what's best for you.
This cell really is the
best place for Sam to be.
You understand that,
don't you, sweetie?
I guess.
So, Sam will be here all night?
All night.
Safe and sound.
[Sam purrs]
[beeps]
[force field powers on]
Sam.
[beeps]
Samilicious.
I'm here to rescue you.
I've been doing
a bit of research
on the Dracos scale you gave me.
Ohh!
It seems like when you
go north, say to, Burgerland,
it gets warmer and brighter.
But if you go south, say to
[Felix gasps]
Donut Heaven, it gets
darker and cooler.
Now, if you go east to General
Tso's Dumpling Sweatshop
or west to Spaghetti Town,
it doesn't change at all.
I though you went to your
house to get your mail?
Stockley I have a theory.
What if the original
Dragonologists were wrong?
And what we thought was its
body temperature regulator
is actually it's
internal compass.
It's the thing that
leads the Dracos
to the dimensional opening.
So, as the Dragon gets
closer to the portal,
the warmer and brighter
the internal compass gets.
Exactly.
And if one scale is affected,
imagine what happens when
we got the whole Dragon.
[gasps]
By the way, if you're hungry,
there's still leftovers
from Salad Explosion
in the fridge.
I think I need to do
some more research.
Sam, come on.
Don't worry Samilicious, I've
got a brilliant escape plan.
Oops.
[growl]
[purr]
You can't take him anywhere.
He's mine.
You can't have him.
You want to hurt him.
Jake No, we don't, Phoebe.
We want to send Sam home.
He's lost.
Hayley Just imagine what it
would be like if you were lost
and your mom was
missing you, huh?
How would you feel then, huh?
Felix So lonely.
So, so lonely.
Hayley We need to
send Sam back, Phoebe.
His mom's waiting for him.
Okay.
But if Sam's going, I'm going.
[clatter]
Why are we still covering Sam?
We're not hiding him anymore.
Jake It's a thermal
protection tarp.
The closer we get to the portal,
the warmer he's going to get
and I'd rather not be
cooked alive, thanks.
We must be getting close.
The Dracos scale is getting
brighter and warmer.
Ah, it's getting pretty
toasty back here too.
And it smells
likedumplings.
Stockley My bad.
It's okay, Sam.
Felix Yup, we'll
be there soon.
All we have to do
is get to the portal
and he'll be safe and sound
back in Dragon land.
Your mom must be
missing you so badly.
She's probably sitting
at home crying,
waiting for you to show up.
[screech]
[rumble]
Felix Or, maybe
she's looking for him!
What's that?
It's the mother.
Jake You think she's mad?
Felix Well, let's see.
Her kid is in an unmarked van
with a bunch of strangers.
Yeah, I think she's mad.
It's okay, Sam.
We need to stun the mother.
[tires screech]
Hayley It's okay, Phoebe.
It's okay.
[blasts]
Jake It's just
bouncing off her scales!
Felix Oh, great,
it's lucky for her!
We need to do this or she's
going to rip this van apart.
We need to get
Sam to the portal.
Then she'll follow him across.
Stockley I see it!
I see the portal.
[flame roars]
You know that's gonna
dry out my wiper fluid!
[screams]
[tires screech]
[crash]
[screech]
[Dragon screeches]
Jake Just open the
door and let Sam out.
It's not gonna work.
They're just going
to stay on this side.
We need to take Sam
and lead him to the portal.
That's the only way they're
both going to crossover.
Stockley Well,
we better hurry.
TroopGrid is showing a lot
of activity on the other side.
Monsters are lining
up to come over.
I'll take him.
Hayley You need to hurry.
The van can't take much more.
Plus the warranty doesn't
cover Dragons melting.
This coming out
of my deductible.
[Jake groans]
Well, he won't come.
Phoebe I can do it.
I'll lead Sam.
No, she'll get hurt.
Look at her,
she's just a little girl.
How can we send her out there?
Hayley If those monsters
come over here, Jake,
it's the end of the world.
I can do this.
Fine.
[rumble]
But if she gets hurt
you're writing the note.
Phoebe, you'll lead and
his mom to the portal's edge.
Sam will protect you
from the mother.
Just stick close.
Jake, Hayley, Felix,
you're going to protect
that gateway
and make sure that nothing
else comes through.
I'll stay in the van.
I'm ready.
That's my girl.
We'll see you in high school.
[crash]
[Sam gurgles]
Phoebe It's okay,
Samilicious.
You're going to see your mom.
Okay?
[Dragon mom roars]
[both growl]
Hayley Phoebe,
you need to hurry up.
His mom's not going
to wait much longer.
Phoebe He'll come.
It's okay, Samilicious.
Don't be afraid.
Jake You're doing it, Phoebe.
Keep going, you got it.
Come on, Sam.
Almost there.
When you get home you'll be
able to fly and burn things
whenever you want,
okay, buddy.
[flame roars]
[growl]
[screech]
[both growl]
I'll never forget you, Sam.
I love you.
[purrs]
[purr]
[air zaps]
Hayley Jake, she's
getting pulled in!
Phoebe Jake!
Jake! Jake!
[wind rushes, zaps]
Jake!
Jake Don't worry,
I got you, Phoebe.
Phoebe Jake, help me!
[Jake grunts]
[heavy pants]
Thanks, Jake.
You saved my life.
But you're still a dork.
You don't think Mom and Dad
will notice anything, do you?
Jake You have so many toys,
how could they tell?
They're not all toys.
Some of them are practical.
[whack]
So, I'm guessing
you don't wantthis.
Cuddly Coco!
You fixed her.
You know, you were
really great out there.
You're going to be okay?
Yeah, I'm going to miss Sam.
I'll never forget
this adventure.
Of course you won't.
Hey, Phoebe, will you
look at this for a sec?
[snark sings]