Bucket & Skinner's Epic Adventures (2011) s01e21 Episode Script

1
Hey, guys.
Have you seen my bag of cheddar doodles?
Nope. Uh-uh.
What are cheddar doodles?
Okay. Well, if you see
them, do not eat them.
That would not be good.
Why? Why would that
not be good?
Oh, they've been infected
with a weird tropical virus
that can only be cured by
drinking a jar of pickle juice.
I heard it was two jars.
Yeah, you're right.
Two jars.
We're cured!
Get out of here, I hate you!
Someone get him his morning pizza.
I'm talking to this stupid fly.
Hand me the swatter!
He can't hand you the swatter.
Flies don't have thumbs.
I'm talking to you!
Three days, I've listened to this buzzing.
I'll give 50 bucks to whoever gets this fly.
Nice!
Awesome!
Let's do this!
Whoa! Hold it.
I want to get this fly, but be
careful of the merchandise.
I want everything to
remain exactly the way it is.
Agreed?
(Screaming)
Okay.
Some people had a little
trouble following directions,
but at least we got him.
The fly is gone.
No, he isn't.
I've got him right here.
Go home to your wife and
maggots. You're free!
(Buzzing)
Oops, wrong way, dude!
I'll take that pizza now.
I wake up, get in motion ♪
Get me to the ocean, here we go ♪
It's all about the sunshine
and the current ride ♪
All the days I walk by, hello ♪
You know that when the surf rolls in ♪
That's when big waves
really begin No worries, bro.
Here we go again ♪
Hey! Hey!
Life is just a curl,
and the summer never ends ♪
Here we go again ♪
Hey! Hey!
You know it's always epic ♪
When I'm hanging with my friends ♪
Ohh-oh-ohh ♪
Here we go again ♪
I practically stayed up all night
finishing that term paper.
I finished mine this morning.
How many pages is yours?
We had to write it down?
What are you doing at this
end of the school, Piper?
We had a show-and-tell, and doofus over there
brought in a chicken from his
uncle's farm that got loose.
Piper, are you telling me there's a wild chicken
loose in our school?
You're quick.
Jerry, take a good look.
That's you in 5 years.
Skinner!
Uh, okay.
Just breathe, dude.
What's with him?
Nothing.
Everything's fine.
Hey, Skinner, want to go to the bathroom?
Wow, Bucket, you sound like me.
Just take me to the bathroom, Skinner!
Dude, relax.
Come on, let's go!
Can't move.
Legs won't work!
I got you, bro.
Piper!
Hey, Mr. Wagner.
Still trying to make the sweater-vest look work.
Good for you.
Thank you.
Piper, I have an opening
for hall monitor this week,
and it's a great way to show school spirit.
How much does it pay?
Nothing.
Do I get a weapon?
Heavens, no.
Being hall monitor is a
community service requirement.
Failure to do this will go
on your permanent record,
which will be forwarded to Harvard.
Button pushed, Wagner.
By the way, I hate your sweater.
Skinner, I can handle anything:
Giant waves, the dark,
the Austrian lunch lady
who chases me with her spatula--
Cut her some slack.
She's still getting used to her face tattoo.
My point is nothing scares me except chickens.
Ever since I fell in that
petting zoo when I was four
and they came at me, beaks open, heads bobbing.
I can still hear the clucking!
Why do you fear us, buck-buck-Bucket?
We're peck-tacular!
Ha, ha, ha!
I said peck-tacular.
'Cuz chickens peck.
I'm clever.
Oops, here comes an egg!
Did you hear that?
Up in the vents.
He's toying with us.
(Screaming)
Okay, it does not smell good in here.
Look, I have an idea.
Chickens are land birds, so
we just get you to the roof
and no harm no fowl. Get it?
Sounds good.
Let's get to the roof.
(Toilet flushing)
What an interesting piece of information.
Hey, good bicep, what do you think I should do?
Don't expose Bucket's secret
fear, Aloe. That'd be mean.
What about you, evil bicep?
Don't listen to that wimp.
Destroy Bucket!
Interesting moral dilemma.
Not! Evil bicep wins!
Aloe wash!
Why aren't you in class?
Sorry.
(Sneezing)
Not doing yourself any favors, Jer.
Please don't turn me in.
Mother will take away my rock collection.
How is this my problem?
My rocks are my babies.
Can't you just look
the other way? I have $5.
Five bucks? I would think your
babies are worth at least ten.
Excellent. You may go.
Community service is fun.
Skinner!
Is the coast clear?
I don't know.
I'm in a locker.
Come on, come on.
Let's get to the roof.
(School bell ringing)
Oh, man, a teacher's blocking
the stairs to the roof.
Did you hear a cluck?
I think I heard a cluck!
Stay here. I'm going to
search for another stairwell.
Bucket, you okay?
You look like you could use CPR,
Cool Person Resuscitation,
'cuz you're flatlining.
Burn!
I was just attacked by a bloodthirsty chicken,
and he's coming this way!
Quick, follow me!
But--
There's no time!
Hurry, get in the atrium.
You'll be safe in there.
(Screaming)
Chicken in!
(Laughing)
(Gasping)
You've done it again, evil bicep.
Well done. Well done.
Dude, it wasn't as bad as you think.
Skinner, I humiliated myself in
front of the girl of my dreams.
Well, look at it this way.
You took the heat off the
new kid, Johnny Fartknocker.
It was nice to finally see him smile.
(Fly buzzing)
Hey, sticky wall paper.
Did someone steal my invention notebook?
Actually, they're giant sheets of fly paper.
Make no mistake, boys.
Today the winged devil will fall.
He thinks he can outsmart me?
I think not.
(Screaming)
If anyone needs me, I'll be upstairs.
Please tell me I didn't do that.
It's just a little
swollen. I'll be okay.
You didn't mean it.
You didn't mean it?
No. I was trying to get
away from the chicken
So I wouldn't step on him.
Okay.
Huh?
You didn't think I was running
'cuz I was scared of that chicken?
No.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, good, because it was
like the opposite of that.
Totally get it.
I'm confused.
Here, let me at least give you
a hand taking those to the alley.
Oh, that's okay. There might be
a hummingbird out there. I got it.
Did you just hear that?
A hummingbird?
She thinks I'm a coward.
(Mimicking clucking)
Very funny, guys.
(Choking)
Sven?
I think he's choking.
Don't look directly at him!
No, wait. That's an eclipse.
Did somebody call for a hero? Aloe to the rescue!
Pretzel, out!
Yeah, that just happened, with flip-flops.
Well, take the weird flip out of the
equation, and that was pretty epic.
Skinner, that's how I can redeem myself.
Choking?
No, show Kelly I'm a hero.
We fake a robbery here at the
shop while Kelly's on duty.
Fortunately for her, I'm here to save the day.
Great plan, and if anything goes
wrong, we blame it on Fartknocker.
Here comes Kell!
Remember your lines.
Make this robber sound really scary,
so when I take him down later,
I look like a total stud.
Um, I was wondering.
Instead of playing myself,
what if I'm a Russian immigrant
who never got over the pain
of his father taking away
his french horn as a boy?
Next time, I promise.
Places!
Dudes, the waves are thumping!
What are you doing here?
Here, friend. Maybe some
iced tea will calm those nerves.
I don't think I'll ever recover
after seeing such a terrifying event.
Oh, it tastes like raspberries.
Skinner, what happened?
He witnessed a robbery at
the hotdog cart on the pier.
Can you talk about it, buddy,
or is it too painful?
Pain, you don't know pain!
Pain is having your father
take away your french horn
from your tiny hands!
He's been through a lot today.
Did you get a look at this robber?
Robber? More like animal.
He grabbed all the mustard and ketchup bottles
and started squirting them in the air,
and I was yelling, "Why? Why
are you wasting condiments?"
He just laughed and said,
"Because I can."
Also, he was crazy scary, and
anyone brave enough to stand up to him
would have the courage of a thousand lions
Is what you told me.
Well, I hope they catch this psycho.
But, Bucket, I don't want you
to lose any sleep over this.
It's going to be okay.
Hey, you don't have to worry about me.
I'm the B-man
Who also happens to know a little
something called Tae-Kwon-Do. Hi-ya!
Ah! My eyes! It stings!
As you were.
As we were what?
What are you doing?
Making our streets a little safer.
Yeah! Where were you when I got
blind-sided in the hallway?
Donut break.
Untucked shirt! Fine!
Piper, you can't go around
making kids pay you money,
especially older kids
who are a lot bigger than you.
You're right.
I see what you're saying.
Good.
I need to hire some muscle for protection.
Oh, and remember, kids.
Crossing with the light isn't just a good idea.
It's the law.
Going to the lunch room it ain't no ballad ♪
All the little ladies wanna feed me egg salad ♪
Wheat toast ♪
Word ♪
Freeze!
You boys ever read the school bylaws?
No music in the hallway.
Hey, I'm rich.
I can do what I want.
What are you after, cheddar?
I've got lots of cheddar.
I don't want your money, school boy.
I want something much more valuable.
My anti-aging formula?
Never!
Not you. Him.
♪
Hi-ya!
Ho, ho, ho. About time.
That plant's been asking for
it for about a month now.
Yeah, just fine-tuning my takedown moves.
Hey, Kelly's shift is going to be
over soon. Where's your cousin?
He can't make it.
What? We can't stage
a fake robbery
if we don't have a fake robber.
Which is why I found a replacement,
my neighbor Big Ray.
That's Big Ray?
Oh, no. That's his son.
Big Ray's in the car.
Can you give us a hand with his wheelchair?
Oh when do we get the 50 bucks?
Give us a minute.
Don't think Big Ray is going to cut it.
Yeah. Maybe we
should reschedule.
But my reputation is on the line, dude.
I need to fix this today.
Wait, what if I played the robber?
Ivan Skinneroff, a Russian
immigrant driven to crime
'cause papa took my horn.
Yes! You could just disguise your
appearance, change your voice.
Can I enter on horseback?
Do you have a horse?
No.
Then probably not.
I'll do it!
You got something on your mind?
I'm starting to feel weird about what we do,
taking kids' lunch money,
confiscating their juice boxes
and troll pencils.
It doesn't seem right.
What about me?
Tell her about that.
I've been so busy with you,
I've had no time for Aloe.
It's been days since I
organized his hair products.
Look at me.
Look at me!
I can't eat. I can't sleep.
Help me, Piper! Tell me
what you think I should do!
You can act like a man!
"Tell me what to do,
Piper." Unbelievable.
You'll show up tomorrow, just like you did today.
And as for you, Pretty Boy,
keep your opinions to yourself,
or I'll shave that rat's nest off your head
and sell it as a door mat.
You--!
Are a very rude little girl.
Good day.
Let's go, Kell.
I have a rather large bank deposit to make.
Piper, you shouldn't be walking
around with a bag of money.
There's a crazy, deranged
robber stalking the beach.
Did I mention deranged?
Don't know. Tuned you out.
Okay. See you tomorrow, Bucket.
Wait! You can't leave yet.
You haven't--
Seen my magic trick.
Pick a number between
1 and 427. Got it?
Yup.
You sure?
Uh-huh.
Positive?
Yes. Don't forget it now.
Is the trick to make me want to
smack you? 'Cause it's working.
I didn't think anyone was going to be here.
It's after closing.
Oh, my goodness, it's the robber!
With a spot-on Russian accent.
Okay, everyone outside.
Right now, or we're going to have a problem.
Ooh, I'm so scared.
Bucket, let's just do what he says.
Might agree with you, Kell,
if I weren't accompanied
by my two friends
Mr. Fist and Dr. Knuckles.
Hi-ya!
Hey, why are you hitting yourself?
Stop hitting yourself!
(Screaming)
Everyone freeze.
This is a stickup and junk.
Put money in my bag, dude.
A life without a french horn is
not worth living, so I'm desperate.
All right, that's it!
Ow.
Skinner?
Wait. If that's Skinner,
who's--?
Real robber!
Stranger danger!
Stranger danger!
What's going on?
Warren, what are you doing on the floor?
Who's Warren?
The exterminator I hired to get rid of that fly.
He's spraying the place.
Oh.
Hey, Warren. So
Want to see a magic trick?
Who's the first pigeon up today, Sven?
Piper, wait.
We don't have to keep doing
this. We can still walk away.
What are you talking about?
A better life, a world where
everyone lives in harmony.
Yeah, save that for your next
acoustic coffee house jam.
But for now, just do your job.
Hey, rookie. I'm the hall
monitor. Ever heard of me?
What do you want?
I'll spell it out for you.
When you sell chocolate at
my school, Piper gets paid.
Sven, teach this joker some manners.
Aha! Aha! Aha!
Aha! Aha, ha, ha!
This madness ends now.
Your days of terrorizing the hallways are over.
You've got nothing on me, Wagner.
Guess again.
We got it all on tape.
Sven? I treated you
like a son.
It had to stop, Piper.
It had to end.
Boys, take her to detention.
And by the way, young lady, you will
pay back ever cent that you've taken away.
You haven't heard the last of Piper Peckinpaugh!
It's over now, buddy.
You can start rebuilding my life again.
Over?
It'll never be over.
Not as long as she still walks these halls.
Boo!
(Screaming)
Nice one, Skinner.
That's the last chicken
he'll ever throw at someone.
Up top.
Monster! Aaah!
People in the olden days were smart.
Totally. One more time?
Bucket, can I talk to you for a sec?
Sure.
And sorry again about yesterday.
That robbery stunt was really stupid.
Yeah, what were you thinking?
You don't have to prove anything to me.
Everyone's afraid of something.
Me? Elevators
and kettle corn.
(Laughing)
My point is, we're all freaks in our own way.
(Fly buzzing)
Exhibit A.
What are you doing, Three Pieces?
Camouflage. Gain his
trust and then splat.
I'm just chilling, fly-style.
Gotcha!
Kelly, look out!
Are you okay, nephew?
Oh, give me a break.
Another lame hero stunt, seriously?
That wasn't a stunt.
You okay, dude?
Thank you, Mommy. Can I
have my apple sauce now?
Oh, good. I thought
he might be hurt.
---oOo---