Family Affair (1966) s01e21 Episode Script
Once in Love with Buffy
1
With Mr. French and Cissy gone,
who's gonna be our babysitter?
Well, I guess I'll just have to go bowling
some other time.
We could stay with ourselves if we were
older.
If we were older, we could go out like
everybody else.
All right, go on, get your pajamas on.
Then you can come in the living room.
I think he'd rather go bowling.
George?
Yeah, Bill, listen, I can't go bowling
tonight.
Well, there's some kind of mix-up about
who's supposed to stay with the kids.
It looks like I'm stuck with them.
Right.
Okay, next week.
Right, George.
Bye.
Hi.
Uncle Bill, I couldn't reach this button.
I thought so.
What is that?
Hello?
Hello?
Yeah, Eve, how are you?
What's happening?
No, not tonight.
I'm stuck with the kids.
Sure, any other time.
Right, I'll call you.
Okay, Eve.
Uncle Bill, why do they call it piggyback?
I don't know.
You got me.
They ought to call it people back.
Good night, Uncle Bill.
Good night, Pard.
We had a real nice time here with you.
We all had a real nice time.
Good night, Jody.
All right, miss.
You're next.
Where to?
Buffy's bedroom, please.
And don't spare the horses.
Yes, ma'am.
I heard that on TV.
No.
Give me those things.
You're kidding me.
There.
Good night.
Uncle Bill?
I'm sorry.
What are you sorry about?
Sorry you got stuck with us.
Well, honey, you're stuck with me,
too.
I.
counted 57 statues, and they were hardly
wearing no clothes.
Any clothes.
When we don't wear clothes, you say we'll
catch a cold.
So you will.
At any rate, I hope you learned something.
We learned it's okay not to wear clothes.
We learned it's okay not to wear clothes.
If you live in a museum.
Hey.
Uncle Bill, the museum was neat.
We saw a man all bandaged up.
Mr. French called him a mummy.
Hello.
Aunt Fran just dropped by to say hello.
Aunt Fran, I'm glad to see you.
Oh, no gladder than I am.
How about me?
You too, Jody.
You're a little man.
I can't be a man.
I don't shake.
Oh, uh, this is Mrs. Higer, Mr. French.
Buffy lived with her for a while.
How do you do, Mrs. Higer?
How do you do?
Uh, well Where's
Uncle Harold?
Uncle Harold is in Boston, and he'll be
here on Tuesday.
And he is very anxious to see you.
He is?
Why?
Buffy, that's not very nice.
Oh, it's all right, Bill.
Buffy and Harold didn't get along.
But, Buffy, Uncle Harold has changed.
A lot of things have.
You'll see.
Want to say hello to my turtle?
Remember Mrs. Beasley?
Well, of course.
Oh.
I want to say hello to that dear Mrs.
Beasley.
Bill, will you excuse us?
Sure.
Well,
New York is a wonderful place to visit.
But you wouldn't want to live here,
huh?
I wouldn't want to bring up children here.
Bill, I'm sorry that we gave up Buffy.
It's the real reason that I came to New
York.
I'd like to have Buffy back.
Fran, you can't bat a kid back and forth
like a tennis ball.
I realize that now.
And it will be permanent.
And I'd like to take Cissy, too,
so that the girls can be together.
What do you figure to do about Jody?
Well, my sister Helen lives just above the
border.
She's a block from us, and she's waiting
to hear.
If you say the words, she'll
come to New York, pick up
Jody, and the children will
practically be together again.
I don't get it, Fran.
When you brought Buffy here, you couldn't
unload her fast enough.
Well, things have changed.
Harold has a new job.
It's an important job, and we've moved into a
larger house, and I even have a housekeeper now.
An Indiana version of French.
You expect me to just give the kids up
like that?
Bill, it can't have been easy for you,
a bachelor with three children.
We manage.
Well, there must be
times Sure there are times.
When you wish that you could get out from
under.
That's right.
It's not important what I wish.
The question is what's right for the kids.
All right.
Now let's look at what I have to offer
them.
A house, a normal family life,
a mother.
Children are better off with a mother.
Yeah, I hear that from somebody every day.
If there's any doubt in your mind, why
don't we see how the children feel about it?
How we feel about what, Uncle Bill?
Little pitchers have big ears.
Catchers, too?
Even bigger.
Bill, why don't I take the children out
tomorrow and give me a chance to talk with them?
Sure.
Tomorrow I have to go to Peter
Reimheimer's birthday party.
Well, that just leaves us girls.
Sure, us girls can go shopping or
something.
Aunt Finn, you can advise me about a
formal.
Mr. French doesn't approve of double
banana splits.
We'll just keep it our little secret.
That movie was awful sad, Aunt Finn.
I ruined my makeup crying.
I liked it too.
It was just like TV, only you don't have
to go out tomorrow and buy something.
Something tells me that between Jody's
party and Mrs. Higers, Excursion with the
girls, nobody's going to be very hungry,
and I don't think I'm very hungry myself.
I anticipated that, sir.
A light repast is in order.
Well, French, you ought to know this.
The Higers want the girls back.
What was your decision, sir?
Well, they're a little better off now and
in more comfortable circumstances.
Mr. Higer seems to have mellowed somewhat.
At least, that's what Fran tells me.
He must have if he's consented to rear not
one child but two.
And one of the other relatives wants to
take care of Jody.
And then there were none, sir.
Buffy, Cissy, how would you like to go
home with me?
I mean to live with me in Terre Haute all
the time.
Buffy, we have a big new house now,
lots of rooms.
Each of you could have your own bedroom, and there's
a backyard to play in, and a tree with a tree house.
Would Uncle Bill live there with us too?
No.
Uncle Bill and I have already
talked it over, and of course
he will miss you for a while,
but he wants to do what's best.
Aunt Fran, we don't mind living in New
York.
We like it.
Even when you got nothing to do,
there's lots to do.
I know that living with Uncle Bill has
been wonderful.
It's like one big vacation.
But you have to think about growing up
now, all the years ahead, and you can't
expect a bachelor like Uncle Bill to
devote the rest of his life to you.
But he doesn't seem to mind, and we try
not to get in his way.
Cissy, lots of times we do get in his way.
Lots of times he gets stuck with us.
Of course, and he's too nice to say
anything, but it just isn't fair.
Do we have to be fair?
Of course you do.
But leave him?
All three of us?
When you get older, you can visit him.
I'd do my best to make you happy with me.
But what about Jody?
Jody will live with Aunt Helen in the very
next block.
Aunt Fran, can we think it over?
Well, of course you can.
Have you had enough?
Her eyes are bigger than her stomach.
I guess I'm not very hungry.
Well, on the other hand, the kids might not
understand that this could be the best thing for them.
Well, you're quite right, sir.
Children have a positive penchant for not
knowing what's good for them.
Well, I don't know what to do, but
let's leave the final decision up to them.
Yes, I see, sir.
And may I say, sir, I'm very happy with
you.
I'm confident of their decision.
You know.
how much I love being with you?
Hi.
Oh, Bill, we had a simply marvelous talk.
Aunt Fran told us all about our friends
back in Terre Haute.
And, Bill, I told them how very much Uncle
Harold and I want them.
And I told them all about our big backyard
and that tree house.
Oh, that sounds pretty good to you,
doesn't it?
Yes, sir.
And, Bill, they have their own private
bedrooms.
Oh, you'd like that, huh?
It would be good for Cissy.
Sis?
Oh, well, I suppose it would be nice for
Buffy.
Oh, Bill, it's obvious what would be best
for everybody.
Sure.
It's for you to decide, Uncle Bill.
If everybody would like for us to go and live
with Aunt Fran, well, a private bedroom is very nice.
I guess you better go ahead, then.
Good, it's all set.
All right.
When would we have to leave?
Uncle Harold will be in Tuesday night,
and we'll leave Wednesday.
I'll tell Mrs. Beasley.
Yeah, she'll have to decide, too.
No, she won't.
She stays wherever I am, because she loves
me.
Cissy, let's go look at your wardrobe and
see what we ought to buy in New York.
French, I don't think
Well, I guess you never know what's going
on in a kid's mind.
It would appear not so.
I'm sorry.
Well, it won't be long now.
You think we forgot anything?
If we did, Uncle Bill can send it.
I said goodbye to all my New York friends.
Roger said he's going to write every day.
Just like homework.
Sissy, could I have another shoebox?
Jody, how many did your turtle need?
This is for a goldfish.
Are you taking a goldfish with you?
No, I'm going to wrap it up and give it to
Mr. French for a goodbye present.
Jody, you can't keep a goldfish in a
shoebox.
He'll die.
He's dead.
Oh, okay then.
Jody, it was real nice living here with
you for a while.
When we grow up, we'll find some way to be
together so nobody can keep moving us around.
Hello, Buffy.
Hello, sir.
Uncle Harold.
Uncle Harold.
Harold, sure.
Hi, Uncle Harold.
Hello, Jody.
How are you, Harold?
Hello, Bill.
Good to see you.
Well, we came directly from the airport.
Harold was so anxious to see them.
Well, come on in.
Oh, no, no, thanks.
We just stopped off to say hello.
I'm expecting some calls at the hotel.
Oh, you sound pretty busy.
Well, I can't complain.
Hey, don't you want to come in and have a
drink?
No, thanks.
I just wanted to be sure.
There were no slip-ups.
Harold, we've agreed that it's the best
thing for everybody.
So we'll be here early tomorrow morning to
pick up the girls.
And as the fellow says, Bill, speak now or
forever hold your peace.
What does that mean?
Well, honey, that means that, uh, means you've
still got time to change your mind if you want to.
No, thank you.
So I'll just hold on to my peace.
Peace.
That's our girl.
We'll see you tomorrow.
So long, Bill.
So long.
Huh.
Nobody here yet, huh?
No, sir, no, sir.
But I understand Mr. and Mrs. Higer are on
their way, sir.
Well, I'm not exactly looking forward to
saying goodbye.
If I may say so, sir, I
I never really thought the children
would
defect.
Goodbye, Jody.
But it isn't time yet.
Almost.
Bye.
Buffy, even if we don't live with each other
anymore, ever again, we'll still be twins, won't we?
I promise.
Aunt Fran said Cissy would forget what
Roger looked like.
Maybe she will.
Will you forget what I look like?
I don't think so.
Here's me, so you won't.
Thank you, Jody.
It looks just like you.
And this is a goodbye present.
I thought the goldfish was for Mr. French.
I'd rather you had it.
I think Mr. French would rather I had it,
too.
I guess they're here.
Uh-huh.
Goodbye, Buffy.
Goodbye, Jody.
Don't forget me!
Well, they'd better hurry so we don't miss
the plane.
Harold has the taxi waiting.
French has got all the bags downstairs,
so don't worry.
Goodbye, Uncle Bill.
Are you going to take care of Buffy for
me?
Are you going to take care of Cissy?
Yes, sir.
Be a good little girl?
Yes, sir.
I.
don't want to let go, ever.
Now, Buffy, you stop that.
You're not going to act like a crybaby.
I don't want to go, even if you can't go
bowling because you're stuck with us.
What do you mean, bowling?
I don't want to go, either.
You don't, really?
We love you, Uncle Bill.
Buffy, what about that backyard and that
treehouse?
We'd rather have an elevator than Uncle
Bill.
Could we stay?
We'd try not to be in the way.
Really, we would.
I'd babysit for myself and Jody.
Kids, I'd like to see anybody take you
away.
Uncle Bill, could I stay, too?
Yes, you too, Jody.
Hooray!
Bill, we discussed all this sensibly.
Uncle Bill, please don't be sensible.
Buffy.
Fran, I'm sorry.
No, I'm not.
I'm glad.
Well, I'll send French back with the
luggage.
Bye.
Bye, Fran.
Uncle Bill, you're stuck with me again.
Me, too.
And with me.
You know something?
I like being stuck.
All right!
Charge!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
With Mr. French and Cissy gone,
who's gonna be our babysitter?
Well, I guess I'll just have to go bowling
some other time.
We could stay with ourselves if we were
older.
If we were older, we could go out like
everybody else.
All right, go on, get your pajamas on.
Then you can come in the living room.
I think he'd rather go bowling.
George?
Yeah, Bill, listen, I can't go bowling
tonight.
Well, there's some kind of mix-up about
who's supposed to stay with the kids.
It looks like I'm stuck with them.
Right.
Okay, next week.
Right, George.
Bye.
Hi.
Uncle Bill, I couldn't reach this button.
I thought so.
What is that?
Hello?
Hello?
Yeah, Eve, how are you?
What's happening?
No, not tonight.
I'm stuck with the kids.
Sure, any other time.
Right, I'll call you.
Okay, Eve.
Uncle Bill, why do they call it piggyback?
I don't know.
You got me.
They ought to call it people back.
Good night, Uncle Bill.
Good night, Pard.
We had a real nice time here with you.
We all had a real nice time.
Good night, Jody.
All right, miss.
You're next.
Where to?
Buffy's bedroom, please.
And don't spare the horses.
Yes, ma'am.
I heard that on TV.
No.
Give me those things.
You're kidding me.
There.
Good night.
Uncle Bill?
I'm sorry.
What are you sorry about?
Sorry you got stuck with us.
Well, honey, you're stuck with me,
too.
I.
counted 57 statues, and they were hardly
wearing no clothes.
Any clothes.
When we don't wear clothes, you say we'll
catch a cold.
So you will.
At any rate, I hope you learned something.
We learned it's okay not to wear clothes.
We learned it's okay not to wear clothes.
If you live in a museum.
Hey.
Uncle Bill, the museum was neat.
We saw a man all bandaged up.
Mr. French called him a mummy.
Hello.
Aunt Fran just dropped by to say hello.
Aunt Fran, I'm glad to see you.
Oh, no gladder than I am.
How about me?
You too, Jody.
You're a little man.
I can't be a man.
I don't shake.
Oh, uh, this is Mrs. Higer, Mr. French.
Buffy lived with her for a while.
How do you do, Mrs. Higer?
How do you do?
Uh, well Where's
Uncle Harold?
Uncle Harold is in Boston, and he'll be
here on Tuesday.
And he is very anxious to see you.
He is?
Why?
Buffy, that's not very nice.
Oh, it's all right, Bill.
Buffy and Harold didn't get along.
But, Buffy, Uncle Harold has changed.
A lot of things have.
You'll see.
Want to say hello to my turtle?
Remember Mrs. Beasley?
Well, of course.
Oh.
I want to say hello to that dear Mrs.
Beasley.
Bill, will you excuse us?
Sure.
Well,
New York is a wonderful place to visit.
But you wouldn't want to live here,
huh?
I wouldn't want to bring up children here.
Bill, I'm sorry that we gave up Buffy.
It's the real reason that I came to New
York.
I'd like to have Buffy back.
Fran, you can't bat a kid back and forth
like a tennis ball.
I realize that now.
And it will be permanent.
And I'd like to take Cissy, too,
so that the girls can be together.
What do you figure to do about Jody?
Well, my sister Helen lives just above the
border.
She's a block from us, and she's waiting
to hear.
If you say the words, she'll
come to New York, pick up
Jody, and the children will
practically be together again.
I don't get it, Fran.
When you brought Buffy here, you couldn't
unload her fast enough.
Well, things have changed.
Harold has a new job.
It's an important job, and we've moved into a
larger house, and I even have a housekeeper now.
An Indiana version of French.
You expect me to just give the kids up
like that?
Bill, it can't have been easy for you,
a bachelor with three children.
We manage.
Well, there must be
times Sure there are times.
When you wish that you could get out from
under.
That's right.
It's not important what I wish.
The question is what's right for the kids.
All right.
Now let's look at what I have to offer
them.
A house, a normal family life,
a mother.
Children are better off with a mother.
Yeah, I hear that from somebody every day.
If there's any doubt in your mind, why
don't we see how the children feel about it?
How we feel about what, Uncle Bill?
Little pitchers have big ears.
Catchers, too?
Even bigger.
Bill, why don't I take the children out
tomorrow and give me a chance to talk with them?
Sure.
Tomorrow I have to go to Peter
Reimheimer's birthday party.
Well, that just leaves us girls.
Sure, us girls can go shopping or
something.
Aunt Finn, you can advise me about a
formal.
Mr. French doesn't approve of double
banana splits.
We'll just keep it our little secret.
That movie was awful sad, Aunt Finn.
I ruined my makeup crying.
I liked it too.
It was just like TV, only you don't have
to go out tomorrow and buy something.
Something tells me that between Jody's
party and Mrs. Higers, Excursion with the
girls, nobody's going to be very hungry,
and I don't think I'm very hungry myself.
I anticipated that, sir.
A light repast is in order.
Well, French, you ought to know this.
The Higers want the girls back.
What was your decision, sir?
Well, they're a little better off now and
in more comfortable circumstances.
Mr. Higer seems to have mellowed somewhat.
At least, that's what Fran tells me.
He must have if he's consented to rear not
one child but two.
And one of the other relatives wants to
take care of Jody.
And then there were none, sir.
Buffy, Cissy, how would you like to go
home with me?
I mean to live with me in Terre Haute all
the time.
Buffy, we have a big new house now,
lots of rooms.
Each of you could have your own bedroom, and there's
a backyard to play in, and a tree with a tree house.
Would Uncle Bill live there with us too?
No.
Uncle Bill and I have already
talked it over, and of course
he will miss you for a while,
but he wants to do what's best.
Aunt Fran, we don't mind living in New
York.
We like it.
Even when you got nothing to do,
there's lots to do.
I know that living with Uncle Bill has
been wonderful.
It's like one big vacation.
But you have to think about growing up
now, all the years ahead, and you can't
expect a bachelor like Uncle Bill to
devote the rest of his life to you.
But he doesn't seem to mind, and we try
not to get in his way.
Cissy, lots of times we do get in his way.
Lots of times he gets stuck with us.
Of course, and he's too nice to say
anything, but it just isn't fair.
Do we have to be fair?
Of course you do.
But leave him?
All three of us?
When you get older, you can visit him.
I'd do my best to make you happy with me.
But what about Jody?
Jody will live with Aunt Helen in the very
next block.
Aunt Fran, can we think it over?
Well, of course you can.
Have you had enough?
Her eyes are bigger than her stomach.
I guess I'm not very hungry.
Well, on the other hand, the kids might not
understand that this could be the best thing for them.
Well, you're quite right, sir.
Children have a positive penchant for not
knowing what's good for them.
Well, I don't know what to do, but
let's leave the final decision up to them.
Yes, I see, sir.
And may I say, sir, I'm very happy with
you.
I'm confident of their decision.
You know.
how much I love being with you?
Hi.
Oh, Bill, we had a simply marvelous talk.
Aunt Fran told us all about our friends
back in Terre Haute.
And, Bill, I told them how very much Uncle
Harold and I want them.
And I told them all about our big backyard
and that tree house.
Oh, that sounds pretty good to you,
doesn't it?
Yes, sir.
And, Bill, they have their own private
bedrooms.
Oh, you'd like that, huh?
It would be good for Cissy.
Sis?
Oh, well, I suppose it would be nice for
Buffy.
Oh, Bill, it's obvious what would be best
for everybody.
Sure.
It's for you to decide, Uncle Bill.
If everybody would like for us to go and live
with Aunt Fran, well, a private bedroom is very nice.
I guess you better go ahead, then.
Good, it's all set.
All right.
When would we have to leave?
Uncle Harold will be in Tuesday night,
and we'll leave Wednesday.
I'll tell Mrs. Beasley.
Yeah, she'll have to decide, too.
No, she won't.
She stays wherever I am, because she loves
me.
Cissy, let's go look at your wardrobe and
see what we ought to buy in New York.
French, I don't think
Well, I guess you never know what's going
on in a kid's mind.
It would appear not so.
I'm sorry.
Well, it won't be long now.
You think we forgot anything?
If we did, Uncle Bill can send it.
I said goodbye to all my New York friends.
Roger said he's going to write every day.
Just like homework.
Sissy, could I have another shoebox?
Jody, how many did your turtle need?
This is for a goldfish.
Are you taking a goldfish with you?
No, I'm going to wrap it up and give it to
Mr. French for a goodbye present.
Jody, you can't keep a goldfish in a
shoebox.
He'll die.
He's dead.
Oh, okay then.
Jody, it was real nice living here with
you for a while.
When we grow up, we'll find some way to be
together so nobody can keep moving us around.
Hello, Buffy.
Hello, sir.
Uncle Harold.
Uncle Harold.
Harold, sure.
Hi, Uncle Harold.
Hello, Jody.
How are you, Harold?
Hello, Bill.
Good to see you.
Well, we came directly from the airport.
Harold was so anxious to see them.
Well, come on in.
Oh, no, no, thanks.
We just stopped off to say hello.
I'm expecting some calls at the hotel.
Oh, you sound pretty busy.
Well, I can't complain.
Hey, don't you want to come in and have a
drink?
No, thanks.
I just wanted to be sure.
There were no slip-ups.
Harold, we've agreed that it's the best
thing for everybody.
So we'll be here early tomorrow morning to
pick up the girls.
And as the fellow says, Bill, speak now or
forever hold your peace.
What does that mean?
Well, honey, that means that, uh, means you've
still got time to change your mind if you want to.
No, thank you.
So I'll just hold on to my peace.
Peace.
That's our girl.
We'll see you tomorrow.
So long, Bill.
So long.
Huh.
Nobody here yet, huh?
No, sir, no, sir.
But I understand Mr. and Mrs. Higer are on
their way, sir.
Well, I'm not exactly looking forward to
saying goodbye.
If I may say so, sir, I
I never really thought the children
would
defect.
Goodbye, Jody.
But it isn't time yet.
Almost.
Bye.
Buffy, even if we don't live with each other
anymore, ever again, we'll still be twins, won't we?
I promise.
Aunt Fran said Cissy would forget what
Roger looked like.
Maybe she will.
Will you forget what I look like?
I don't think so.
Here's me, so you won't.
Thank you, Jody.
It looks just like you.
And this is a goodbye present.
I thought the goldfish was for Mr. French.
I'd rather you had it.
I think Mr. French would rather I had it,
too.
I guess they're here.
Uh-huh.
Goodbye, Buffy.
Goodbye, Jody.
Don't forget me!
Well, they'd better hurry so we don't miss
the plane.
Harold has the taxi waiting.
French has got all the bags downstairs,
so don't worry.
Goodbye, Uncle Bill.
Are you going to take care of Buffy for
me?
Are you going to take care of Cissy?
Yes, sir.
Be a good little girl?
Yes, sir.
I.
don't want to let go, ever.
Now, Buffy, you stop that.
You're not going to act like a crybaby.
I don't want to go, even if you can't go
bowling because you're stuck with us.
What do you mean, bowling?
I don't want to go, either.
You don't, really?
We love you, Uncle Bill.
Buffy, what about that backyard and that
treehouse?
We'd rather have an elevator than Uncle
Bill.
Could we stay?
We'd try not to be in the way.
Really, we would.
I'd babysit for myself and Jody.
Kids, I'd like to see anybody take you
away.
Uncle Bill, could I stay, too?
Yes, you too, Jody.
Hooray!
Bill, we discussed all this sensibly.
Uncle Bill, please don't be sensible.
Buffy.
Fran, I'm sorry.
No, I'm not.
I'm glad.
Well, I'll send French back with the
luggage.
Bye.
Bye, Fran.
Uncle Bill, you're stuck with me again.
Me, too.
And with me.
You know something?
I like being stuck.
All right!
Charge!
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