Petticoat Junction (1963) s01e23 Episode Script
Betty Jo's First Love
1
Come ride the little train ♪
That is rollin' down the tracks to the Junction ♪
Forget about your cares ♪
It is time to relax at the Junction ♪
Lots of curves, you bet ♪
And even more when you get ♪
To the Junction ♪
Petticoat Junction ♪
There's a little hotel called
the Shady Rest at the Junction ♪
Petticoat Junction ♪
It is run by Kate, come and
be her guest at the Junction ♪
Petticoat Junction ♪
And that's Uncle Joe, he's a-movin' kinda slow ♪
At the Junction ♪
Petticoat Junction! ♪
Step to the left, to the right ♪
Then hop with your partner ♪
That's the Hooterville Hop ♪
Three to the left, to the right ♪
Then the hop with your partner ♪
It's the Hooterville Hop ♪
Lots of fun to do, it's a step that's new ♪
Just a hop, hop ♪
Called the Hooterville Hop ♪
Form in a line, any way is fine ♪
When you hop, hop ♪
To the Hooterville Hop ♪
You can dance with two, three or four will do ♪
When you hop, hop ♪
To the Hooterville Hop ♪
It's a brand new step full of brim and pep ♪
Just a hop, hop ♪
It's the Hooterville Hop. ♪
Hey, Betty Jo, let's hop.
Not now, Paul, please.
Hey, what's with you?
This is your favorite dance.
Well, sure, but right now
I'm in a hurry to get into Hooterville.
What for?
Orville Miggs asked me to spend the afternoon with him.
You mean that kid
who's always working on his broken-down flivver?
The one with the dirty, grease-covered face and hands?
That silly-looking jerk
whose hair grows in every direction?
He's the one.
She's kidding.
I don't think so.
Neither do I.
Better go tell Mom.
Right.
Hey, we want to dance.
So dance.
Shall we?
Forget it.
You always want to lead.
Mom, guess what.
You'll never believe it.
Don't tell me the boys ate up
all those salty burned cookies you two made.
Besides that.
Betty Jo's in love.
Good. Waste not, want not, but I could have sworn
that nobody would have eaten the
What did you say?
I said, Betty Jo's in love.
What was in those cookies?
And how many did you eat?
Honest, Mom, you should have seen the sick look
on Betty Jo's face.
How many did she eat?
Mom, Betty Jo's in love with Orville Miggs.
Don't say that.
Those cookies could make anybody look violently ill.
Mom, we're not kidding.
Betty Jo is in love with Orville Miggs,
and she's stuck on him but good.
She just left to spend the afternoon with him,
and you should have seen that
love-tortured look on her face.
Orville Miggs.
Well, what a shame.
It couldn't have been those terrible cookies.
Yeah.
That's the way we felt.
My baby.
My little baby in love.
Well, it just seems like yesterday that I
held her in my arms,
a helpless little pink and white bundle.
And I used to rock her and
and dream of the day
when her Prince Charming would ride up
on his white horse and sweep her off her feet.
And who does it turn out to be?
Orville Miggs?!
Socket wrench.
Crescent wrench.
Screwdriver.
Yeah, that ought to do it.
Oh, Orville, you must be the greatest mechanic
since Henry Ford.
Oh, it's not only that.
It's just, you and I make a great team.
Gee, Orville, do you really think so?
Oh, I'll say.
You know more about cars than any guy
I've ever worked with.
Orville, you say such nice things.
Well, I mean it. I could have never
got this car built up without you.
Orville, do you know what?
No. What?
I've never enjoyed working
on a hot rod this much in my whole life.
Here comes the Cannonball.
I've got to get on home.
Will I see you tomorrow?
Do you want to?
Oh, sure.
You've got to help me tune the carburetor.
Okay, if you need me, I'll be here.
Good.
Good-bye, Orville.
Good-bye.
See you tomorrow, Orville.
Okay.
Good-bye, Orville.
How's the pressure now, Betty Jo?
It's starting to come up.
You hadn't ought to never let it drop that far.
I'm sorry, Charley.
I guess I didn't hook her up far enough after we left town.
Two things an engineer's got to pay attention to:
cows on the track and steam in the boiler.
I'm sorry, Charley.
I won't let it happen again.
Good. You got to be right on your toes
when you're running a big, powerful engine
like the Cannonball.
Betty Jo, aren't you gonna blow the whistle?
For what?
For what? For Fred Ziffel.
We always blow the whistle for him on the afternoon run,
else how would he know it's time to feed his pigs?
Gosh, Charley, I forgot we were passing a pig farm.
How could you forget a thing like that
with the wind blowing this way?
I guess my nose isn't thinking today, either.
It sure isn't.
Betty Jo, aren't you gonna slow down?
Why?
Why?
We're roaring along here about 50 miles an hour,
approaching Dead Man's Curve.
Oh, golly.
Maybe you better let me take over, huh?
Maybe you're right.
I don't know where your mind's been today,
but it ain't been on running this train.
Are you feeling all right?
'Course I am, Charley.
What makes you ask a thing like that?
'Cause you've been running this train
like you've left your head in Hooterville.
Here you are, Uncle Joe.
That's turnip greens, Betty Jo.
I asked for chicken and dumplings.
Betty Jo?
Huh? What's that, Uncle Joe?
The chicken and dumplings What do you say?
No, thanks.
I'm not hungry.
If you'll all excuse me,
I think I'll go to my room.
Betty Jo's been acting strange today.
I know what the trouble is.
I beat her at horseshoes yesterday,
and she's probably still brooding about it.
Oh, it's not that at all.
Betty Jo's fallen in love.
So that's what's ailing her.
Who's the lucky boy?
Orville Miggs.
How's that again?
For a second there, I thought you said Orville Miggs.
I did.
Kate, you've got to be kidding.
Why, if Orville Miggs was carrying two pounds of weenies,
a starving dog couldn't fall in love with him.
You'd think Betty Jo would have better taste than that.
Yes, especially after the example that I've set.
Too numerous to mention.
Do you, by any chance, remember the first boy
you ever fell in love with?
Don't tax your brain, dear.
It was Freddie Flidden.
Oh, yeah, Freddie!
Mm-hmm. And he used to go around
with his pockets full of live bugs.
Ugh!
You thought he was the most romantic boy
in the whole world.
Well, I was only a child.
You were exactly the same age as Betty Jo is right now.
Poor Betty Jo.
Mm-hmm. This is a very serious stage in Betty Jo's life,
and we're all going to have to help her through it.
I think you're making too much of this, Kate.
She'll get over it.
She had the whooping croup.
She got over that, didn't she?
Well, for your information,
a girl's first love is much more serious
than the whooping croup.
She has to feel she's become a woman
by having that love returned.
Somehow we've got to make Orville wake up
so he'll pay some attention to Betty Jo.
That's simple.
I'll just tell him to pay attention to her
or I'll break his neck.
Oh, you men you're all alike.
Always want to use a sledgehammer.
This is gonna take tact and understanding,
so you better leave it to us women.
Okay, Kate, but when it comes to Orville Miggs,
the sledgehammer idea's a dandy.
Morning, Betty Jo.
Where are you off to this lovely morning?
Oh, I just thought I'd go into Hooterville for a while.
Oh, you gonna go by and see Orville?
Probably. I told him I might come by.
Are you planning on wearing those jeans?
Well, sure.
What's wrong with them?
Well, they're all covered with spots.
Where?
There and there and there.
Well, if they're that bad,
I can go up and put on another pair.
Oh, no, you can't do that.
Um Why not?
Well, I, um I put all of your jeans
in the wash last night.
What am I gonna wear?
Did you ever think of wearing a dress?
A dress?
I got a wonderful idea.
Why don't you wear that lovely rosebud print?
I just happened to have ironed it last night.
Do you think I should?
Yes. Yes, boys like to see girls
in a lovely print now and then.
Orville doesn't care about that.
All he's interested in is cars.
Mm, I wouldn't be too sure of that.
Boys change when you least expect it,
especially if you give them a little help.
Okay. I'll wear the dress today.
And, uh, why don't you put a nice ribbon in your hair?
All right, maybe I will.
The screwdriver.
Betty Jo, give me the screwdriver.
Orville, I'm not going to hand you anything else
until you get your head out of that engine and look at me.
Okay, so I'm looking.
Don't you see anything different about me?
Yeah, you're wearing a dress.
Then you did notice?
Sure, I did.
What do you think?
I think you're nuts coming over here wearing a dress
to help me fix my carburetor.
Orville Miggs, don't you ever think about anything
but that silly old car?
Silly old c?
That's a fine way to talk
about the fastest hotrod in Hooterville.
Oh, who cares about that?
Betty Jo, you're the one
who talked me into putting in a full race cam.
I know, but there are other things in life
besides cam shafts and magnetos.
Like what?
Like walks in the moonlight.
Okay.
First we'll fix the carburetor,
then you can go home and walk in the moonlight.
Orville!
A girl doesn't walk
in the moonlight by herself.
She usually has a boy with her.
Betty Jo, I know what you need.
A brother.
He could walk in the moonlight with you.
Protect you from snakes and lizards.
Orville, don't you ever have a romantic thought?
A what?!
Romance dancing, holding hands.
Hey, what's gotten into you anyway?
Well, whatever it is sure hasn't got into you.
Hey, take your old screwdrivers.
I'm going home.
Hey, Betty Jo, I need you.
Yes, Orville?
Yeah, you got to tell me how to connect the pipes.
Well, why don't you just stick them in your ears,
step on the starter and
and blow your head off?
Don't know what's wrong with her.
Oh, Betty Jo, did you
have a good time with Orville?
Well, looks like it's gonna take more
than a print dress to wake up Orville.
I think Betty Jo should read Orville
some of my Browning love poems.
Some of these would wake up a rock.
That wouldn't work.
What Betty Jo ought to do
is put on a pair of high heels
and learn how to flutter her eyelids.
What Orville needs is somebody
to straighten out his thinking.
We should let me handle this.
I'd straighten him out like a crooked nail.
No, you're not gonna handle it.
Next time Orville comes here,
I'm just gonna have a nice little talk with him.
My, you look handsome today, Orville.
I do? Mm.
Uh, do you know, at the Hooterville Whist Club
last week, the ladies were all saying how nice
the two of you look together.
The two of us?
Mm-hmm. You and Betty Jo.
Gosh, Mrs. Bradley, I think you got this all wrong.
Betty Jo and I aren't going together.
We're just working on my car together.
Oh, you can't fool me, Orville.
When a handsome young man like you
gets together with a pretty girl like Betty Jo,
the sparks are bound to fly.
Yeah, well, they flew yesterday
when she dropped a monkey wrench on my magneto.
Men, you're all alike.
Covering your true emotions with a little joke.
But Mrs. Bradley, I After all, you're human.
And nobody would blame you
if you want to express your true feelings
by giving Betty Jo a little kiss
not even her mother.
Why, Mrs. Bradley, you don't
think I'd try and kiss Betty Jo.
That's what I was thinking.
Well, I'd never try a thing like that.
You wouldn't?
Gosh, no.
You can trust me, Mrs. Bradley.
Orville, you're, um true-blue.
Hey, where's Orville?
He took his pie and went home.
Well, how did your talk go?
Billie Jo, I think it's time for Browning.
And we better throw in high heels
and eyelid fluttering.
And here's another poem, Orville,
that Mr. Browning's wife wrote.
"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
"I love thee to the depth and breadth
and height my soul can reach."
What do you think of that, Orville?
Just great, Betty Jo.
Just great.
You really think so?
Yeah.
I bet if we changed the depth of the stroke
and widened the breadth of the bore
and go up in height on the pistons,
shoot, we could get 2½ more miles an hour
out of her in a quarter mile.
Why, Betty Jo, you're home awful early.
Did you have a good time reading poetry with Orville?
Well, I guess Browning struck out.
Along with high heels and eyelid fluttering.
That Orville's a chowder head.
He sure is, but he's Betty Jo's first love,
and somehow he's gonna act like it.
Why don't we trap Orville
into a romantic setting?
Soft lights, music, dancing.
Yeah, maybe send them both on a Mediterranean cruise.
That's a wonderful idea.
It is? Kate, are you out
Not yours, Uncle Joe Billie's.
We can have a nice little dancing party
for Betty Jo right here.
Yeah, and Bobbie and I could invite Paul and Roger.
That's great There's only one problem.
How are you gonna get Orville to come to a dancing party?
Why don't you let me invite him?
I can persuade him to come.
Okay, Uncle Joe, but please be tactful.
Don't worry, Kate.
You're looking at Tactful Joe Carson.
Hello, Orville.
Hi.
Nice day, ain't it?
Yeah, I guess.
Don't believe I've ever seen a nicer day.
Have you, Floyd?
It's just a peach of a day.
Orville, how would you like to go dancing?
Now?
No, tonight around 8:00.
With you three?
No, chowder head, with Betty Jo.
How'd she get into this?
She's having a party, and you've been invited.
You mean go to a dance?
And dance?
That's what they usually do at dances.
Gee, I can't tonight, Mr. Carson.
I got a lot of work to do on my car.
Can't you get your mind off
of this gol dang car for one night?
Joe, you're not being tactful.
Son, you've heard about girls, haven't you?
Oh, gosh, yeah.
Well, don't you reckon you ought
to think about courting?
Yeah, you gotta go out and sow a few wild oats.
Orville, when that music starts
and you've got a girl in your arms,
you'll forget about cars forever.
Oh, gee, I wouldn't want to do anything
that'd make me forget about cars.
Joe, if you ask me,
I think we've been tactful long enough.
We can stand around here all day being tactful.
I knew there was only one way to handle it.
Orville, you be at Betty Jo's party tonight
at 8:00 with a necktie on and a-carrying a present,
or you'll be turning that hot rod in for a hearse.
Yeah, but Mr. Carson
Uh, what time did you say the party was?
8:00.
Okay, you can tell Betty Jo I'll be there.
Boy, the things you have to do to keep a good mechanic.
Step to the left, to the right ♪
Then a-hop with your partner ♪
That's the Hooterville Hop ♪
Three to the left, to the right ♪
Then a-hop with your partner ♪
It's the Hooterville Hop ♪
Lots of fun to do, it's a step that's new ♪
Just a-hop, hop ♪
Called the Hooterville Hop ♪
Form in a line, any way is fine when you hop, hop ♪
Do the Hooterville Hop ♪
You can dance with two ♪
Three or four will do when you hop, hop ♪
Do the Hooterville Hop ♪
It's a brand-new step full of vim and pep ♪
Just a-hop, hop Orville.
It's the Hooterville Hop. ♪
Orville!
I do believe this is our dance.
Oh, well, gee, Betty Jo,
I'm just not ready to dance yet.
I mean, I am, but my feet aren't.
Oh, uh, Betty Jo?
Yes, Orville?
Can I have my picture card back?
Uncle Joe, I think it's wonderful
how you got that boy to come here tonight.
Oh, it was easy.
I just took your advice, Kate,
and charmed him with tact and understanding.
Well, I wish somebody could charm him
into asking Betty Jo to dance.
I'll handle it.
Oh, what are you gonna do?
Oh, don't worry, I'll be tactful
and understanding, as usual.
Would you like a little advice?
What?
Dance with that girl
or you'll never see another sunrise.
Hey, Betty Jo, I've got an idea.
Let's dance.
Oh, do you really want to?
No, but at the moment,
it sure seems like a good idea.
Uncle Joe, how in the world did you do that?
Nothing to it, Kate.
You hit that boy with tact
and understanding, he melts.
Maybe Orville's beginning to wake up.
My goodness, all these bright lights
are certainly making it
very warm in here, aren't they?
Oh, they certainly are, aren't they?
Why don't you turn a couple of them down, Billie Jo?
I think I will.
What's Billie Jo doing?
She's softening up the lights
to make things more romantic.
We want Orville to wake up, don't we?
Yeah, but I hope he don't wake up too much.
Oh, Paul.
Wouldn't you like to kiss me?
Would I? Okay, go ahead.
Oh, Paul, you shouldn't kiss me
in front of Betty Jo and Orville.
But, Billie Jo, you said
Never mind what I said.
How would you like to go for a moonlight walk?
I guess so.
Roger!
Oh, you know you're not supposed to kiss me
in front of Betty Jo and Orville.
But, Bobbie Jo, you said that
Never mind what I said.
How would you like to go out on the front porch
and sit in the swing with me?
I I guess so.
Sure a lot of kissing going on around here.
Kissing?
Why, Orville, I hadn't noticed.
She hadn't noticed.
The way women lead men around,
every man in the world should be born
with a ring in his nose.
Now, Uncle Joe, Betty's just starting
to practice her womanly wiles.
Orville, would you like to dance some more?
No, I think we've had enough dancing.
You're right, Orville.
I don't want to dance, either.
You don't?
No, because when you take me
in your arms to dance,
it sends shivers all over me.
Gee, what do you suppose could cause that?
It must be because you're so strong and masterful.
Me?
Orville, you don't know
what power you have over women.
Gee, in that case, maybe I better go home.
Go home?
Yeah, with all those powers over women,
I might be dangerous.
Oh, Orville, you scare me to death.
Come on, let's go sit down on the sofa.
Now, Orville, don't you try
to put your arms around me.
From there, he'd have to be an orangutan.
Don't worry, if Betty Jo's any kind of a woman,
she'll get him closer.
Orville, if you try to kiss me, I'll scream.
Why, Betty Jo, I
I never even thought of kissing you.
You can't fool me, Orville.
You've got a devil in your eye.
Well
That's right, Betty Jo, a little kiss.
Betty Jo, I said a little kiss.
Betty Jo!
Take it easy, Kate.
Just have faith in her womanly wiles.
Is that all there is to it?
What'd you expect, fireworks?
And to think I spent all this time worrying about it.
Now can we be friends again?
Sure, Orville, let's shake on it.
Can I give you your present now?
Wrenches!
Oh, they're beautiful.
We'll get together right after school tomorrow
and work on the car.
You're gonna wear your jeans, aren't you?
Naturally.
Oh, thanks, pal.
Well, I guess the crisis is over.
Yeah, this one is.
Wonder who she'll fall in love with next.
Well, whoever it is, he's bound
to be an improvement over Orville Miggs.
He's pathetic.
Petticoat Junction. ♪
This has been a Filmways Presentation.
Come ride the little train ♪
That is rollin' down the tracks to the Junction ♪
Forget about your cares ♪
It is time to relax at the Junction ♪
Lots of curves, you bet ♪
And even more when you get ♪
To the Junction ♪
Petticoat Junction ♪
There's a little hotel called
the Shady Rest at the Junction ♪
Petticoat Junction ♪
It is run by Kate, come and
be her guest at the Junction ♪
Petticoat Junction ♪
And that's Uncle Joe, he's a-movin' kinda slow ♪
At the Junction ♪
Petticoat Junction! ♪
Step to the left, to the right ♪
Then hop with your partner ♪
That's the Hooterville Hop ♪
Three to the left, to the right ♪
Then the hop with your partner ♪
It's the Hooterville Hop ♪
Lots of fun to do, it's a step that's new ♪
Just a hop, hop ♪
Called the Hooterville Hop ♪
Form in a line, any way is fine ♪
When you hop, hop ♪
To the Hooterville Hop ♪
You can dance with two, three or four will do ♪
When you hop, hop ♪
To the Hooterville Hop ♪
It's a brand new step full of brim and pep ♪
Just a hop, hop ♪
It's the Hooterville Hop. ♪
Hey, Betty Jo, let's hop.
Not now, Paul, please.
Hey, what's with you?
This is your favorite dance.
Well, sure, but right now
I'm in a hurry to get into Hooterville.
What for?
Orville Miggs asked me to spend the afternoon with him.
You mean that kid
who's always working on his broken-down flivver?
The one with the dirty, grease-covered face and hands?
That silly-looking jerk
whose hair grows in every direction?
He's the one.
She's kidding.
I don't think so.
Neither do I.
Better go tell Mom.
Right.
Hey, we want to dance.
So dance.
Shall we?
Forget it.
You always want to lead.
Mom, guess what.
You'll never believe it.
Don't tell me the boys ate up
all those salty burned cookies you two made.
Besides that.
Betty Jo's in love.
Good. Waste not, want not, but I could have sworn
that nobody would have eaten the
What did you say?
I said, Betty Jo's in love.
What was in those cookies?
And how many did you eat?
Honest, Mom, you should have seen the sick look
on Betty Jo's face.
How many did she eat?
Mom, Betty Jo's in love with Orville Miggs.
Don't say that.
Those cookies could make anybody look violently ill.
Mom, we're not kidding.
Betty Jo is in love with Orville Miggs,
and she's stuck on him but good.
She just left to spend the afternoon with him,
and you should have seen that
love-tortured look on her face.
Orville Miggs.
Well, what a shame.
It couldn't have been those terrible cookies.
Yeah.
That's the way we felt.
My baby.
My little baby in love.
Well, it just seems like yesterday that I
held her in my arms,
a helpless little pink and white bundle.
And I used to rock her and
and dream of the day
when her Prince Charming would ride up
on his white horse and sweep her off her feet.
And who does it turn out to be?
Orville Miggs?!
Socket wrench.
Crescent wrench.
Screwdriver.
Yeah, that ought to do it.
Oh, Orville, you must be the greatest mechanic
since Henry Ford.
Oh, it's not only that.
It's just, you and I make a great team.
Gee, Orville, do you really think so?
Oh, I'll say.
You know more about cars than any guy
I've ever worked with.
Orville, you say such nice things.
Well, I mean it. I could have never
got this car built up without you.
Orville, do you know what?
No. What?
I've never enjoyed working
on a hot rod this much in my whole life.
Here comes the Cannonball.
I've got to get on home.
Will I see you tomorrow?
Do you want to?
Oh, sure.
You've got to help me tune the carburetor.
Okay, if you need me, I'll be here.
Good.
Good-bye, Orville.
Good-bye.
See you tomorrow, Orville.
Okay.
Good-bye, Orville.
How's the pressure now, Betty Jo?
It's starting to come up.
You hadn't ought to never let it drop that far.
I'm sorry, Charley.
I guess I didn't hook her up far enough after we left town.
Two things an engineer's got to pay attention to:
cows on the track and steam in the boiler.
I'm sorry, Charley.
I won't let it happen again.
Good. You got to be right on your toes
when you're running a big, powerful engine
like the Cannonball.
Betty Jo, aren't you gonna blow the whistle?
For what?
For what? For Fred Ziffel.
We always blow the whistle for him on the afternoon run,
else how would he know it's time to feed his pigs?
Gosh, Charley, I forgot we were passing a pig farm.
How could you forget a thing like that
with the wind blowing this way?
I guess my nose isn't thinking today, either.
It sure isn't.
Betty Jo, aren't you gonna slow down?
Why?
Why?
We're roaring along here about 50 miles an hour,
approaching Dead Man's Curve.
Oh, golly.
Maybe you better let me take over, huh?
Maybe you're right.
I don't know where your mind's been today,
but it ain't been on running this train.
Are you feeling all right?
'Course I am, Charley.
What makes you ask a thing like that?
'Cause you've been running this train
like you've left your head in Hooterville.
Here you are, Uncle Joe.
That's turnip greens, Betty Jo.
I asked for chicken and dumplings.
Betty Jo?
Huh? What's that, Uncle Joe?
The chicken and dumplings What do you say?
No, thanks.
I'm not hungry.
If you'll all excuse me,
I think I'll go to my room.
Betty Jo's been acting strange today.
I know what the trouble is.
I beat her at horseshoes yesterday,
and she's probably still brooding about it.
Oh, it's not that at all.
Betty Jo's fallen in love.
So that's what's ailing her.
Who's the lucky boy?
Orville Miggs.
How's that again?
For a second there, I thought you said Orville Miggs.
I did.
Kate, you've got to be kidding.
Why, if Orville Miggs was carrying two pounds of weenies,
a starving dog couldn't fall in love with him.
You'd think Betty Jo would have better taste than that.
Yes, especially after the example that I've set.
Too numerous to mention.
Do you, by any chance, remember the first boy
you ever fell in love with?
Don't tax your brain, dear.
It was Freddie Flidden.
Oh, yeah, Freddie!
Mm-hmm. And he used to go around
with his pockets full of live bugs.
Ugh!
You thought he was the most romantic boy
in the whole world.
Well, I was only a child.
You were exactly the same age as Betty Jo is right now.
Poor Betty Jo.
Mm-hmm. This is a very serious stage in Betty Jo's life,
and we're all going to have to help her through it.
I think you're making too much of this, Kate.
She'll get over it.
She had the whooping croup.
She got over that, didn't she?
Well, for your information,
a girl's first love is much more serious
than the whooping croup.
She has to feel she's become a woman
by having that love returned.
Somehow we've got to make Orville wake up
so he'll pay some attention to Betty Jo.
That's simple.
I'll just tell him to pay attention to her
or I'll break his neck.
Oh, you men you're all alike.
Always want to use a sledgehammer.
This is gonna take tact and understanding,
so you better leave it to us women.
Okay, Kate, but when it comes to Orville Miggs,
the sledgehammer idea's a dandy.
Morning, Betty Jo.
Where are you off to this lovely morning?
Oh, I just thought I'd go into Hooterville for a while.
Oh, you gonna go by and see Orville?
Probably. I told him I might come by.
Are you planning on wearing those jeans?
Well, sure.
What's wrong with them?
Well, they're all covered with spots.
Where?
There and there and there.
Well, if they're that bad,
I can go up and put on another pair.
Oh, no, you can't do that.
Um Why not?
Well, I, um I put all of your jeans
in the wash last night.
What am I gonna wear?
Did you ever think of wearing a dress?
A dress?
I got a wonderful idea.
Why don't you wear that lovely rosebud print?
I just happened to have ironed it last night.
Do you think I should?
Yes. Yes, boys like to see girls
in a lovely print now and then.
Orville doesn't care about that.
All he's interested in is cars.
Mm, I wouldn't be too sure of that.
Boys change when you least expect it,
especially if you give them a little help.
Okay. I'll wear the dress today.
And, uh, why don't you put a nice ribbon in your hair?
All right, maybe I will.
The screwdriver.
Betty Jo, give me the screwdriver.
Orville, I'm not going to hand you anything else
until you get your head out of that engine and look at me.
Okay, so I'm looking.
Don't you see anything different about me?
Yeah, you're wearing a dress.
Then you did notice?
Sure, I did.
What do you think?
I think you're nuts coming over here wearing a dress
to help me fix my carburetor.
Orville Miggs, don't you ever think about anything
but that silly old car?
Silly old c?
That's a fine way to talk
about the fastest hotrod in Hooterville.
Oh, who cares about that?
Betty Jo, you're the one
who talked me into putting in a full race cam.
I know, but there are other things in life
besides cam shafts and magnetos.
Like what?
Like walks in the moonlight.
Okay.
First we'll fix the carburetor,
then you can go home and walk in the moonlight.
Orville!
A girl doesn't walk
in the moonlight by herself.
She usually has a boy with her.
Betty Jo, I know what you need.
A brother.
He could walk in the moonlight with you.
Protect you from snakes and lizards.
Orville, don't you ever have a romantic thought?
A what?!
Romance dancing, holding hands.
Hey, what's gotten into you anyway?
Well, whatever it is sure hasn't got into you.
Hey, take your old screwdrivers.
I'm going home.
Hey, Betty Jo, I need you.
Yes, Orville?
Yeah, you got to tell me how to connect the pipes.
Well, why don't you just stick them in your ears,
step on the starter and
and blow your head off?
Don't know what's wrong with her.
Oh, Betty Jo, did you
have a good time with Orville?
Well, looks like it's gonna take more
than a print dress to wake up Orville.
I think Betty Jo should read Orville
some of my Browning love poems.
Some of these would wake up a rock.
That wouldn't work.
What Betty Jo ought to do
is put on a pair of high heels
and learn how to flutter her eyelids.
What Orville needs is somebody
to straighten out his thinking.
We should let me handle this.
I'd straighten him out like a crooked nail.
No, you're not gonna handle it.
Next time Orville comes here,
I'm just gonna have a nice little talk with him.
My, you look handsome today, Orville.
I do? Mm.
Uh, do you know, at the Hooterville Whist Club
last week, the ladies were all saying how nice
the two of you look together.
The two of us?
Mm-hmm. You and Betty Jo.
Gosh, Mrs. Bradley, I think you got this all wrong.
Betty Jo and I aren't going together.
We're just working on my car together.
Oh, you can't fool me, Orville.
When a handsome young man like you
gets together with a pretty girl like Betty Jo,
the sparks are bound to fly.
Yeah, well, they flew yesterday
when she dropped a monkey wrench on my magneto.
Men, you're all alike.
Covering your true emotions with a little joke.
But Mrs. Bradley, I After all, you're human.
And nobody would blame you
if you want to express your true feelings
by giving Betty Jo a little kiss
not even her mother.
Why, Mrs. Bradley, you don't
think I'd try and kiss Betty Jo.
That's what I was thinking.
Well, I'd never try a thing like that.
You wouldn't?
Gosh, no.
You can trust me, Mrs. Bradley.
Orville, you're, um true-blue.
Hey, where's Orville?
He took his pie and went home.
Well, how did your talk go?
Billie Jo, I think it's time for Browning.
And we better throw in high heels
and eyelid fluttering.
And here's another poem, Orville,
that Mr. Browning's wife wrote.
"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
"I love thee to the depth and breadth
and height my soul can reach."
What do you think of that, Orville?
Just great, Betty Jo.
Just great.
You really think so?
Yeah.
I bet if we changed the depth of the stroke
and widened the breadth of the bore
and go up in height on the pistons,
shoot, we could get 2½ more miles an hour
out of her in a quarter mile.
Why, Betty Jo, you're home awful early.
Did you have a good time reading poetry with Orville?
Well, I guess Browning struck out.
Along with high heels and eyelid fluttering.
That Orville's a chowder head.
He sure is, but he's Betty Jo's first love,
and somehow he's gonna act like it.
Why don't we trap Orville
into a romantic setting?
Soft lights, music, dancing.
Yeah, maybe send them both on a Mediterranean cruise.
That's a wonderful idea.
It is? Kate, are you out
Not yours, Uncle Joe Billie's.
We can have a nice little dancing party
for Betty Jo right here.
Yeah, and Bobbie and I could invite Paul and Roger.
That's great There's only one problem.
How are you gonna get Orville to come to a dancing party?
Why don't you let me invite him?
I can persuade him to come.
Okay, Uncle Joe, but please be tactful.
Don't worry, Kate.
You're looking at Tactful Joe Carson.
Hello, Orville.
Hi.
Nice day, ain't it?
Yeah, I guess.
Don't believe I've ever seen a nicer day.
Have you, Floyd?
It's just a peach of a day.
Orville, how would you like to go dancing?
Now?
No, tonight around 8:00.
With you three?
No, chowder head, with Betty Jo.
How'd she get into this?
She's having a party, and you've been invited.
You mean go to a dance?
And dance?
That's what they usually do at dances.
Gee, I can't tonight, Mr. Carson.
I got a lot of work to do on my car.
Can't you get your mind off
of this gol dang car for one night?
Joe, you're not being tactful.
Son, you've heard about girls, haven't you?
Oh, gosh, yeah.
Well, don't you reckon you ought
to think about courting?
Yeah, you gotta go out and sow a few wild oats.
Orville, when that music starts
and you've got a girl in your arms,
you'll forget about cars forever.
Oh, gee, I wouldn't want to do anything
that'd make me forget about cars.
Joe, if you ask me,
I think we've been tactful long enough.
We can stand around here all day being tactful.
I knew there was only one way to handle it.
Orville, you be at Betty Jo's party tonight
at 8:00 with a necktie on and a-carrying a present,
or you'll be turning that hot rod in for a hearse.
Yeah, but Mr. Carson
Uh, what time did you say the party was?
8:00.
Okay, you can tell Betty Jo I'll be there.
Boy, the things you have to do to keep a good mechanic.
Step to the left, to the right ♪
Then a-hop with your partner ♪
That's the Hooterville Hop ♪
Three to the left, to the right ♪
Then a-hop with your partner ♪
It's the Hooterville Hop ♪
Lots of fun to do, it's a step that's new ♪
Just a-hop, hop ♪
Called the Hooterville Hop ♪
Form in a line, any way is fine when you hop, hop ♪
Do the Hooterville Hop ♪
You can dance with two ♪
Three or four will do when you hop, hop ♪
Do the Hooterville Hop ♪
It's a brand-new step full of vim and pep ♪
Just a-hop, hop Orville.
It's the Hooterville Hop. ♪
Orville!
I do believe this is our dance.
Oh, well, gee, Betty Jo,
I'm just not ready to dance yet.
I mean, I am, but my feet aren't.
Oh, uh, Betty Jo?
Yes, Orville?
Can I have my picture card back?
Uncle Joe, I think it's wonderful
how you got that boy to come here tonight.
Oh, it was easy.
I just took your advice, Kate,
and charmed him with tact and understanding.
Well, I wish somebody could charm him
into asking Betty Jo to dance.
I'll handle it.
Oh, what are you gonna do?
Oh, don't worry, I'll be tactful
and understanding, as usual.
Would you like a little advice?
What?
Dance with that girl
or you'll never see another sunrise.
Hey, Betty Jo, I've got an idea.
Let's dance.
Oh, do you really want to?
No, but at the moment,
it sure seems like a good idea.
Uncle Joe, how in the world did you do that?
Nothing to it, Kate.
You hit that boy with tact
and understanding, he melts.
Maybe Orville's beginning to wake up.
My goodness, all these bright lights
are certainly making it
very warm in here, aren't they?
Oh, they certainly are, aren't they?
Why don't you turn a couple of them down, Billie Jo?
I think I will.
What's Billie Jo doing?
She's softening up the lights
to make things more romantic.
We want Orville to wake up, don't we?
Yeah, but I hope he don't wake up too much.
Oh, Paul.
Wouldn't you like to kiss me?
Would I? Okay, go ahead.
Oh, Paul, you shouldn't kiss me
in front of Betty Jo and Orville.
But, Billie Jo, you said
Never mind what I said.
How would you like to go for a moonlight walk?
I guess so.
Roger!
Oh, you know you're not supposed to kiss me
in front of Betty Jo and Orville.
But, Bobbie Jo, you said that
Never mind what I said.
How would you like to go out on the front porch
and sit in the swing with me?
I I guess so.
Sure a lot of kissing going on around here.
Kissing?
Why, Orville, I hadn't noticed.
She hadn't noticed.
The way women lead men around,
every man in the world should be born
with a ring in his nose.
Now, Uncle Joe, Betty's just starting
to practice her womanly wiles.
Orville, would you like to dance some more?
No, I think we've had enough dancing.
You're right, Orville.
I don't want to dance, either.
You don't?
No, because when you take me
in your arms to dance,
it sends shivers all over me.
Gee, what do you suppose could cause that?
It must be because you're so strong and masterful.
Me?
Orville, you don't know
what power you have over women.
Gee, in that case, maybe I better go home.
Go home?
Yeah, with all those powers over women,
I might be dangerous.
Oh, Orville, you scare me to death.
Come on, let's go sit down on the sofa.
Now, Orville, don't you try
to put your arms around me.
From there, he'd have to be an orangutan.
Don't worry, if Betty Jo's any kind of a woman,
she'll get him closer.
Orville, if you try to kiss me, I'll scream.
Why, Betty Jo, I
I never even thought of kissing you.
You can't fool me, Orville.
You've got a devil in your eye.
Well
That's right, Betty Jo, a little kiss.
Betty Jo, I said a little kiss.
Betty Jo!
Take it easy, Kate.
Just have faith in her womanly wiles.
Is that all there is to it?
What'd you expect, fireworks?
And to think I spent all this time worrying about it.
Now can we be friends again?
Sure, Orville, let's shake on it.
Can I give you your present now?
Wrenches!
Oh, they're beautiful.
We'll get together right after school tomorrow
and work on the car.
You're gonna wear your jeans, aren't you?
Naturally.
Oh, thanks, pal.
Well, I guess the crisis is over.
Yeah, this one is.
Wonder who she'll fall in love with next.
Well, whoever it is, he's bound
to be an improvement over Orville Miggs.
He's pathetic.
Petticoat Junction. ♪
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