Leave It to Beaver (1957) s01e24 Episode Script
The State Versus Beaver
1
Violation section 4938 vehicle code.
Holy smokes, Beaver, you got a ticket!
I sure guess so.
Boy, you're in big trouble.
Couldn't we just tear it up?
Heck no, the police would come and get ya.
I could lock myself up and hide under the bed.
Na, that's no good.
They'd just kick the door down like they do on television.
The man said I should show it to my parents
or my guardian.
Yeah, you better take it right down and give it to Dad.
("Leave it to Beaver" theme music)
[Announcer] "Leave It to Beaver."
(playful instrumental music)
Starring Barbara Billingsley, Hugh Beaumont, Tony Dow.
And Jerry Mathers, as the Beaver.
(playful instrumental music)
Hey, the boys aren't up in their room.
No, they went out the garage, right after breakfast.
Three raincoats, none of them ours.
Two pair of rubbers and one galosh.
Oh, I guess the boys might cut it up
for slingshots or something.
Hold the phone, here's another one.
Why they're both left feet.
- They are?
- Mhmm.
Some kid left some very interesting tracks
when he went home.
(audience laughing)
Why the clean up campaign?
Well, I was looking for an extra
vacuum cleaner belt for the boys,
and I guess I just got carried away.
What do they want with a vacuum cleaner belt?
I don't know, I've been collecting all kinds of things.
They asked me if they could have the motor
off the old power mower.
Last I saw them, they were taking the wheels off
of Beaver's coaster wagon.
Another lefty.
(hammer hitting wheel)
Wally, it sure is a neat car,
but there are no brakes.
How are we gonna stop it?
First we gotta get it runnin',
and then we'll worry about stoppin' it.
(audience laughing softly)
The wheels look funny too, Wally.
They're all pointin' in different ways.
Yeah, I don't know what we can do about that.
I sure hope when we get it started
it all goes in the same direction.
(audience laughing softly)
Mmm.
Wally, maybe when we grow up we can be racetrack drivers,
and hang our hand out the side of the car
when we take the curves,
eeow, rrr. (Audience laughing softly)
You know Beaver, you're funny.
You get more fun out of pretending stuff
than really doing it.
Sure, it's never as much fun doing it,
as it is pretending, eeow (lips sputtering quickly).
(hammer hitting wheel)
Well, what do we have here?
Oh, it's a racing car, Dad.
We kinda borrowed the motor off the power mower.
Oh, you borrowed it?
Yeah, we'll put it back when the grass gets long.
(audience laughing softly)
- I'm sure you will.
It's a neat car, huh, Dad?
Yeah, it seems a little short in the wheel base to me.
Why'd you pick this particular length?
Well, that's how long the boards were.
Yeah, if the fence out back was higher,
we'd have a longer car.
(audience laughing)
- Oh,
you took the boards out of our fence?
Oh, it's okay, Dad, there's no hole.
We put the wheelbarrow in there to plug it up.
(audience laughing)
- Oh, yeah.
Well, it sure seems to be coming along nicely boys.
I think it needs a few finishing touches though.
Maybe I could help you.
Gee, Dad, would ya?
Sure, I'd be glad to!
Well now, let's see, the first thing to do
is to draw up some plans, so
we know what where we're going.
Gee, Dad, do we have to bother with plans?
They'll only slow us down.
Yeah, yeah, I guess you're right.
Well, where's the toolbox?
Over there.
I think I'd better get some wrenches out of the car.
Boy, it sure is gonna be great, Dad helping us.
I sure hope so.
(audience laughing softly)
(soft instrumental music)
(Ward and boys sawing and hammering)
Ward!
(Ward and boys sawing and hammering)
Ward!
(Ward and boys sawing and hammering)
Boys!
(Ward and boys sawing and hammering)
Boys!
(audience laughing softly)
(saw cutting wood)
I figured we can cut up some sheet metal for the hood.
Gee, Dad, you sure are a swell mechanic.
Yeah, you oughta give up your job and just build cars.
Well, you know, someday I might just do that.
Well, how do you like it?
Well, it doesn't look bad.
Bet you'd never get it off the ground.
Gee, Mom, it's a car.
Sure, Mom, it's not supposed to get off the ground.
Now don't worry, boys,
your mother said the same thing to the Wright brothers.
Gee, Mom, did you really know the
I did not, and your lunch is ready.
(audience laughing)
You boys go on in and get washed up.
I'll be right in.
Okay, come on Beav.
You gonna play out here all day?
(audience laughing softly)
- Play?
June, a mechanical project like this is good for the boys.
Yes, but isn't this, whatever it is, with a motor on it
a little advanced for Wally and the Beaver?
Well, not if it's used properly.
I'll talk to them about it.
Anyway, Wally's getting to the age
where he's got a pretty good sense of values.
(soft instrumental music)
(motor humming)
Ready?
- Yeah.
(Beaver cheering loudly)
Oh, of course they are.
What's there to worry about?
Of course, just our children, that's all.
(audience laughing)
Hey, hey, stay on the sidewalk!
(motor humming)
Well, it took us two Saturdays,
but it runs like a fine watch.
(motor humming)
What'd you say?
Yeah, I said it runs like a fine watch!
Yes, doesn't it?
Ward look, I want you to talk to those boys, now.
I don't want them being reckless with that thing.
Don't worry about it, dear, I'll take care of it.
Thank you, dear, I'm so glad you said that.
Now I can go in and peel my hard boiled eggs
with a clear mind.
(audience laughing)
Boys!
(motor humming)
(motor humming stops)
[Wally] Boy, it runs great, Dad!
Yeah, I think we did a pretty good job on it.
[Beaver] Wanna take a ride, Dad?
I think it'll hold ya.
Well, not right now.
Look, boys, about the car.
I want you to be very careful with it.
You know, don't take it out in the street
or be reckless with it in any way.
We'll just ride it around here and in the vacant lot.
Gee, Dad, I thunk we'd drive it to school.
Well, I'm sorry, Beaver.
This is strictly for when I'm with you.
And if you disobey me in this,
well I'll have to take the car away from you.
Oh, we'll do like you say, Dad.
Swell, now just remember,
I don't want either one of you to take this car
out of the garage alone.
Now, do we understand each other about this, boys?
You know this is all for your own good.
Sure, Dad, every time you ball us out
it's for our own good.
(audience laughing)
Wally, I'm not balling you out.
I'm just giving you a few simple rules.
Now, okay?
Okay.
Now remember what Dad said, Beaver.
It's our car, but you can't take it out
on the street by yourself.
Now, I'm gonna play baseball after school,
and I don't want you messin' around with it
and gettin' us in trouble, you understand?
Yeah, sure!
Boy, I sure wish there was somebody
in this family for me to yell at.
That's your tough luck.
(audience laughing)
(soft instrumental music)
It sure is a neat car, huh, Larry?
It sure is.
Hey, can I have another apple?
I don't know, I gave you three already.
Mom's in a club meeting.
I don't know if she'd want us eating all her apples.
That's okay, she'll think your father ate 'em.
(audience laughing)
- Uh uh.
I brought it from home.
(audience laughing)
That motor's got a whole horsepower inside of it.
How about giving me a ride, Beaver?
I can't do that.
I thought you said it was your car.
Belongs to me and Wally, but I can't take it out alone.
Oh.
Can we at least sit in it?
Sure, why not?
Eeow, (lips sputtering quickly), eeow, rrr!
That's the way the racetrack drivers do it.
I know, I know, I go to the movies too.
(audience laughing)
It wouldn't hurt to just start up the motor, would it?
I don't know, I don't think we better.
I bet you don't know how.
Sure I do.
(motor humming)
Boy, that's great.
Hey, Beaver?
What Larry.
It wouldn't hurt none to drive around the block.
I told ya afore,
I'm not supposed to take it out by myself.
But you're not by yourself, I'm with ya.
I don't know.
Oh, I bet you don't even know how to drive it.
Oh no?
(audience laughing)
(soft instrumental music)
(audience laughing)
(motor humming)
(audience laughing)
(motor humming)
(police siren blaring)
(audience laughing)
(motor humming) (police siren blaring)
(audience laughing)
(motor humming stops)
We do somethin' wrong, mister?
That depends, how old are you kids?
I'm seven and three quarters.
I'm eight and one quarter.
[Police Officer] Then you don't have a license.
I have a license for my dog that runned away.
(audience laughing softly)
I mean a license to operate a motor vehicle.
No, sir, I guess not.
Son, don't you know it's against the law
for a boy your age to take that thing
out on the city streets?
[Beaver] No, sir.
What's your name, son?
Theodore Beaver Cleaver.
You know something, Beaver?
You shouldn't a taken this thing outta the garage.
(audience laughing)
(soaring orchestral music)
(soft instrumental music)
(audience laughing)
(soft instrumental music)
Beaver, you didn't eat your dessert tonight.
I didn't feel like it.
Ah, if you didn't feel like ice cream,
there must be something wrong with your stomach.
No, Dad, there's nothing wrong with my stomach.
[June] You aren't in any trouble at school are you?
Not that I know of.
(audience laughing)
How about you, Wally?
How'd the baseball game go?
Oh, great, Dad!
I scored a home run on a bunt.
How'd you do that?
You know, the ball rolled down a sewer.
(audience laughing)
Must have some very interesting ground rules.
I think I'll go up to bed now.
So early?
Beaver.
You feel all right?
I feel fine, haha.
(audience laughing)
I think I'll go to bed too.
I'm a little bit tired.
(yawns) Goodnight.
Ward, you don't think they're up to anything do you?
I think they're getting out of doing the dishes.
(audience laughing softly)
All right, Beaver, what happened?
What happened with what?
With the car, when I got home this afternoon
the motor was warm.
Was it?
Yeah, you took it out by yourself didn't ya?
Well, not exactly, Larry Mondello was with me.
We just went around the block.
You shouldn't a done that.
Did anything happen?
No, 'cept for this.
Violation section 4938 vehicle code.
Holy smokes, Beaver, you got a ticket!
Sure guess so.
Boy, you're in big trouble.
Couldn't we just tear it up?
Heck no, the police would come and get ya.
I could lock myself up and hide under the bed.
Na, that's no good.
They'd just kick the door down like they do on television.
The man said I should show it to my parents
or my guardian.
Yeah, you better take it right down and give it to Dad.
I can't do that, he told me not to never touch the car.
Well, it says here you gotta appear in court
within five days with your parent or guardian.
Wally, what's a guardian?
Well, it's kinda like an older person
who watches out for you when your parents aren't around.
Would you be my guardian?
Why should I?
You're the one that got yourself in trouble.
(audience laughing softly)
Then, I guess I have to show it to Dad.
Of course, when he finds out,
he'll probably take the car away from both of us.
All right, Beaver.
(audience laughing) I'll be your guardian.
Just hope I don't end up going to jail with ya.
(audience laughing)
[Ward] Hi.
Oh, it's you.
You disappointed?
Yes, I was expecting the vacuum cleaner man
with a new belt, but I guess you'll do.
(audience laughing softly)
- Thank you.
Oh, I forgot my key.
Where are the boys?
Well, when they left this morning,
they said they were gonna stop off somewhere
on their way home from school.
Mm.
Oh, what a day.
Hm.
My broiler caught on fire this afternoon.
That's fine.
(audience laughing)
You're ignoring me.
Good, dear, I'll take care of it tomorrow.
(audience laughing)
Ward, you're not paying a bit of attention to me.
Yes I am, you said the boys would be a little late,
and your vacuum cleaner caught on fire.
(audience laughing)
Uh huh, and I thought you weren't listening.
(audience laughing)
Boys say where they were going?
They just said, when they left this morning,
they were gonna stop off somewhere
on their way home from school.
Mm, probably marble season.
Uh huh, I'll take care of it right after dinner.
(audience laughing)
(soft instrumental music) (audience laughing)
(soft instrumental music)
[Judge] This is your second violation.
That will be $25 fine.
$25?
Shh.
Next case, bailiff.
Wally, let's go home.
(audience laughing)
- We can't now.
(audience laughing softly)
Now, Mr. Cleaver.
Which one of you is Theodore Cleaver?
This is me.
[Judge] And who is this other young gentleman?
I'm his guardian.
(audience laughing softly)
His official guardian?
No, he's my official brother,
but he's my guardian today.
(courtroom audience laughing)
(gavel hitting sound block)
Son, didn't you realize
you were supposed to bring your parents?
I guess I heard somethin' about it.
But they couldn't 'xctly come.
I see, they're working people?
Yeah, they work real hard.
They work on a ship,
that isn't here now.
(audience laughing softly)
And what is the name of the ship?
Uh, tell him the name of the ship, Wally.
(audience laughing)
Uh, well I don't think they're working today.
But I think they're sick.
Yeah, they're sick.
(audience laughing)
Boys, are you sure about this?
Right now, I'm not sure of anything.
(courtroom audience laughing)
Would you two boys mind waiting a few minutes?
I think I'd like to talk to you alone.
Yes sir, we'll wait.
(somber instrumental music)
Next case, bailiff.
(somber instrumental music)
I fail to find any extenuating circumstances here.
Reckless driving is one thing
we cannot tolerate in this city!
That will be $50 fine or 10 days in jail.
Next case, bailiff.
Wow, that's four people he sent to jail already.
You know, Wally, no matter what happens,
I'm not gonna cry.
Take it easy, Beaver.
You struck a parked vehicle,
you left the scene of an accident,
and you were driving with a suspended license.
I see no reason for leniency here.
That'll be $250 fine or 60 days in the county jail.
(somber instrumental music)
Now I think I can talk to young Mr. Cleaver,
and his guardian.
That's us.
(somber instrumental music)
You two boys can step around up here.
(dramatic instrumental music)
Violation section 4938 vehicle code.
Mister, my parents don't work on a ship.
And they're not really sick.
I was just a scared to bring 'em.
I'm sorry I made it up.
I see.
This is your real brother though?
Yes sir, he's real all right.
(audience laughing)
Well, you see sir,
our father helped us build this real neat car.
And then, he made us promise
not to take it out on the street.
Yeah, but I was there by myself with Larry Mondello,
and he was eatin' apples.
And he said, "Let's take a ride."
And I said, "I'm not supposed to take a ride by myself."
And he said, "You're not by yourself, I'm with ya."
So we took a ride.
He didn't mean to break the law or nothin'.
It's only a toy, the motor's only one-lunger.
Well, you may think of it as just a toy.
But the law defines a motor vehicle.
And this is undoubtedly a vehicle with a motor on it,
even though it's just a one-lunger.
Yes sir.
Now, the law clearly states,
you must have a license to operate a motor vehicle.
(Beaver blowing nose)
(audience laughing)
And I'm sure you don't want to break the law do you?
Oh, I'm sure I don't either.
[Wally] We thought you were gonna put him in jail,
like you did everybody else.
No, I think Theodore has learned his lesson.
Haven't you, Theodore?
Yes sir, I'm not gonna take no vehicle, no place.
(audience laughing)
Well, you two boys can run along home now.
We'll just expunge this from the records.
Thank you, sir.
Thank you, sir.
And boys, if I were you, I think I'd get rid of that car.
Yes sir.
Yes sir.
(gentle instrumental music)
Mister, do I have to tell my father about this?
[Judge] Well son, I think we'll just leave that up to you.
(gentle instrumental music)
(playful instrumental music)
Well, may I say, that was a very excellent dinner.
Well, you better say that,
I worked on it all afternoon.
(audience laughing)
(gentle instrumental music)
- Hi, fellas.
- Hello, boys.
Hi, Dad.
Hi, Mom.
The Beaver wants to talk to ya.
All right, what's up?
Well, you know this afternoon
when we got home late from school?
Yeah, I guess so, playing marbles huh?
No sir, we wasn't playin' marbles.
We sure wasn't.
We were in court.
The school took you?
No, I got arrested.
- Arrested?
- Arrested?
Arrested, I took Larry Mondello for a ride in the car,
you helped us build, and I didn't have no license.
(audience laughing softly)
And you went to court?
Yeah, but it's okay now.
They're not gonna do anything to him.
Yeah, the judge sponged off my record.
(audience laughing)
Well, I'm very thankful for that.
But Beaver, why?
The thing I can't understand,
is it's bad enough that you
took the car out into the street
when I told you not to,
but why, when you got in trouble, didn't you come to me?
I guess I was a scared to, Dad.
What were you scared of?
What did you think I'd do if you told me?
Well, that's the trouble, Dad, we never can tell.
(audience laughing)
Now, wait a minute boys.
Let's get something straight.
I don't care what kind of trouble
you may get into in life,
you don't ever need to be afraid
to come to your parents and tell them.
Yes sir, I'm sorry.
Well, you'd better go on up to your room.
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight, boys.
What is it, Wally?
Well, he was scared and that's one of the reasons
why he didn't tell ya.
But there's another reason too.
He didn't wanna hurt your feelings.
Hurt my feelings?
Yeah, since you were so nice
and helping us build the car and everything,
he didn't wanna make you feel bad
'cause you've got a kid like him.
(gentle instrumental music)
(soaring orchestral music)
(playful instrumental music)
(dramatic orchestral music)
Violation section 4938 vehicle code.
Holy smokes, Beaver, you got a ticket!
I sure guess so.
Boy, you're in big trouble.
Couldn't we just tear it up?
Heck no, the police would come and get ya.
I could lock myself up and hide under the bed.
Na, that's no good.
They'd just kick the door down like they do on television.
The man said I should show it to my parents
or my guardian.
Yeah, you better take it right down and give it to Dad.
("Leave it to Beaver" theme music)
[Announcer] "Leave It to Beaver."
(playful instrumental music)
Starring Barbara Billingsley, Hugh Beaumont, Tony Dow.
And Jerry Mathers, as the Beaver.
(playful instrumental music)
Hey, the boys aren't up in their room.
No, they went out the garage, right after breakfast.
Three raincoats, none of them ours.
Two pair of rubbers and one galosh.
Oh, I guess the boys might cut it up
for slingshots or something.
Hold the phone, here's another one.
Why they're both left feet.
- They are?
- Mhmm.
Some kid left some very interesting tracks
when he went home.
(audience laughing)
Why the clean up campaign?
Well, I was looking for an extra
vacuum cleaner belt for the boys,
and I guess I just got carried away.
What do they want with a vacuum cleaner belt?
I don't know, I've been collecting all kinds of things.
They asked me if they could have the motor
off the old power mower.
Last I saw them, they were taking the wheels off
of Beaver's coaster wagon.
Another lefty.
(hammer hitting wheel)
Wally, it sure is a neat car,
but there are no brakes.
How are we gonna stop it?
First we gotta get it runnin',
and then we'll worry about stoppin' it.
(audience laughing softly)
The wheels look funny too, Wally.
They're all pointin' in different ways.
Yeah, I don't know what we can do about that.
I sure hope when we get it started
it all goes in the same direction.
(audience laughing softly)
Mmm.
Wally, maybe when we grow up we can be racetrack drivers,
and hang our hand out the side of the car
when we take the curves,
eeow, rrr. (Audience laughing softly)
You know Beaver, you're funny.
You get more fun out of pretending stuff
than really doing it.
Sure, it's never as much fun doing it,
as it is pretending, eeow (lips sputtering quickly).
(hammer hitting wheel)
Well, what do we have here?
Oh, it's a racing car, Dad.
We kinda borrowed the motor off the power mower.
Oh, you borrowed it?
Yeah, we'll put it back when the grass gets long.
(audience laughing softly)
- I'm sure you will.
It's a neat car, huh, Dad?
Yeah, it seems a little short in the wheel base to me.
Why'd you pick this particular length?
Well, that's how long the boards were.
Yeah, if the fence out back was higher,
we'd have a longer car.
(audience laughing)
- Oh,
you took the boards out of our fence?
Oh, it's okay, Dad, there's no hole.
We put the wheelbarrow in there to plug it up.
(audience laughing)
- Oh, yeah.
Well, it sure seems to be coming along nicely boys.
I think it needs a few finishing touches though.
Maybe I could help you.
Gee, Dad, would ya?
Sure, I'd be glad to!
Well now, let's see, the first thing to do
is to draw up some plans, so
we know what where we're going.
Gee, Dad, do we have to bother with plans?
They'll only slow us down.
Yeah, yeah, I guess you're right.
Well, where's the toolbox?
Over there.
I think I'd better get some wrenches out of the car.
Boy, it sure is gonna be great, Dad helping us.
I sure hope so.
(audience laughing softly)
(soft instrumental music)
(Ward and boys sawing and hammering)
Ward!
(Ward and boys sawing and hammering)
Ward!
(Ward and boys sawing and hammering)
Boys!
(Ward and boys sawing and hammering)
Boys!
(audience laughing softly)
(saw cutting wood)
I figured we can cut up some sheet metal for the hood.
Gee, Dad, you sure are a swell mechanic.
Yeah, you oughta give up your job and just build cars.
Well, you know, someday I might just do that.
Well, how do you like it?
Well, it doesn't look bad.
Bet you'd never get it off the ground.
Gee, Mom, it's a car.
Sure, Mom, it's not supposed to get off the ground.
Now don't worry, boys,
your mother said the same thing to the Wright brothers.
Gee, Mom, did you really know the
I did not, and your lunch is ready.
(audience laughing)
You boys go on in and get washed up.
I'll be right in.
Okay, come on Beav.
You gonna play out here all day?
(audience laughing softly)
- Play?
June, a mechanical project like this is good for the boys.
Yes, but isn't this, whatever it is, with a motor on it
a little advanced for Wally and the Beaver?
Well, not if it's used properly.
I'll talk to them about it.
Anyway, Wally's getting to the age
where he's got a pretty good sense of values.
(soft instrumental music)
(motor humming)
Ready?
- Yeah.
(Beaver cheering loudly)
Oh, of course they are.
What's there to worry about?
Of course, just our children, that's all.
(audience laughing)
Hey, hey, stay on the sidewalk!
(motor humming)
Well, it took us two Saturdays,
but it runs like a fine watch.
(motor humming)
What'd you say?
Yeah, I said it runs like a fine watch!
Yes, doesn't it?
Ward look, I want you to talk to those boys, now.
I don't want them being reckless with that thing.
Don't worry about it, dear, I'll take care of it.
Thank you, dear, I'm so glad you said that.
Now I can go in and peel my hard boiled eggs
with a clear mind.
(audience laughing)
Boys!
(motor humming)
(motor humming stops)
[Wally] Boy, it runs great, Dad!
Yeah, I think we did a pretty good job on it.
[Beaver] Wanna take a ride, Dad?
I think it'll hold ya.
Well, not right now.
Look, boys, about the car.
I want you to be very careful with it.
You know, don't take it out in the street
or be reckless with it in any way.
We'll just ride it around here and in the vacant lot.
Gee, Dad, I thunk we'd drive it to school.
Well, I'm sorry, Beaver.
This is strictly for when I'm with you.
And if you disobey me in this,
well I'll have to take the car away from you.
Oh, we'll do like you say, Dad.
Swell, now just remember,
I don't want either one of you to take this car
out of the garage alone.
Now, do we understand each other about this, boys?
You know this is all for your own good.
Sure, Dad, every time you ball us out
it's for our own good.
(audience laughing)
Wally, I'm not balling you out.
I'm just giving you a few simple rules.
Now, okay?
Okay.
Now remember what Dad said, Beaver.
It's our car, but you can't take it out
on the street by yourself.
Now, I'm gonna play baseball after school,
and I don't want you messin' around with it
and gettin' us in trouble, you understand?
Yeah, sure!
Boy, I sure wish there was somebody
in this family for me to yell at.
That's your tough luck.
(audience laughing)
(soft instrumental music)
It sure is a neat car, huh, Larry?
It sure is.
Hey, can I have another apple?
I don't know, I gave you three already.
Mom's in a club meeting.
I don't know if she'd want us eating all her apples.
That's okay, she'll think your father ate 'em.
(audience laughing)
- Uh uh.
I brought it from home.
(audience laughing)
That motor's got a whole horsepower inside of it.
How about giving me a ride, Beaver?
I can't do that.
I thought you said it was your car.
Belongs to me and Wally, but I can't take it out alone.
Oh.
Can we at least sit in it?
Sure, why not?
Eeow, (lips sputtering quickly), eeow, rrr!
That's the way the racetrack drivers do it.
I know, I know, I go to the movies too.
(audience laughing)
It wouldn't hurt to just start up the motor, would it?
I don't know, I don't think we better.
I bet you don't know how.
Sure I do.
(motor humming)
Boy, that's great.
Hey, Beaver?
What Larry.
It wouldn't hurt none to drive around the block.
I told ya afore,
I'm not supposed to take it out by myself.
But you're not by yourself, I'm with ya.
I don't know.
Oh, I bet you don't even know how to drive it.
Oh no?
(audience laughing)
(soft instrumental music)
(audience laughing)
(motor humming)
(audience laughing)
(motor humming)
(police siren blaring)
(audience laughing)
(motor humming) (police siren blaring)
(audience laughing)
(motor humming stops)
We do somethin' wrong, mister?
That depends, how old are you kids?
I'm seven and three quarters.
I'm eight and one quarter.
[Police Officer] Then you don't have a license.
I have a license for my dog that runned away.
(audience laughing softly)
I mean a license to operate a motor vehicle.
No, sir, I guess not.
Son, don't you know it's against the law
for a boy your age to take that thing
out on the city streets?
[Beaver] No, sir.
What's your name, son?
Theodore Beaver Cleaver.
You know something, Beaver?
You shouldn't a taken this thing outta the garage.
(audience laughing)
(soaring orchestral music)
(soft instrumental music)
(audience laughing)
(soft instrumental music)
Beaver, you didn't eat your dessert tonight.
I didn't feel like it.
Ah, if you didn't feel like ice cream,
there must be something wrong with your stomach.
No, Dad, there's nothing wrong with my stomach.
[June] You aren't in any trouble at school are you?
Not that I know of.
(audience laughing)
How about you, Wally?
How'd the baseball game go?
Oh, great, Dad!
I scored a home run on a bunt.
How'd you do that?
You know, the ball rolled down a sewer.
(audience laughing)
Must have some very interesting ground rules.
I think I'll go up to bed now.
So early?
Beaver.
You feel all right?
I feel fine, haha.
(audience laughing)
I think I'll go to bed too.
I'm a little bit tired.
(yawns) Goodnight.
Ward, you don't think they're up to anything do you?
I think they're getting out of doing the dishes.
(audience laughing softly)
All right, Beaver, what happened?
What happened with what?
With the car, when I got home this afternoon
the motor was warm.
Was it?
Yeah, you took it out by yourself didn't ya?
Well, not exactly, Larry Mondello was with me.
We just went around the block.
You shouldn't a done that.
Did anything happen?
No, 'cept for this.
Violation section 4938 vehicle code.
Holy smokes, Beaver, you got a ticket!
Sure guess so.
Boy, you're in big trouble.
Couldn't we just tear it up?
Heck no, the police would come and get ya.
I could lock myself up and hide under the bed.
Na, that's no good.
They'd just kick the door down like they do on television.
The man said I should show it to my parents
or my guardian.
Yeah, you better take it right down and give it to Dad.
I can't do that, he told me not to never touch the car.
Well, it says here you gotta appear in court
within five days with your parent or guardian.
Wally, what's a guardian?
Well, it's kinda like an older person
who watches out for you when your parents aren't around.
Would you be my guardian?
Why should I?
You're the one that got yourself in trouble.
(audience laughing softly)
Then, I guess I have to show it to Dad.
Of course, when he finds out,
he'll probably take the car away from both of us.
All right, Beaver.
(audience laughing) I'll be your guardian.
Just hope I don't end up going to jail with ya.
(audience laughing)
[Ward] Hi.
Oh, it's you.
You disappointed?
Yes, I was expecting the vacuum cleaner man
with a new belt, but I guess you'll do.
(audience laughing softly)
- Thank you.
Oh, I forgot my key.
Where are the boys?
Well, when they left this morning,
they said they were gonna stop off somewhere
on their way home from school.
Mm.
Oh, what a day.
Hm.
My broiler caught on fire this afternoon.
That's fine.
(audience laughing)
You're ignoring me.
Good, dear, I'll take care of it tomorrow.
(audience laughing)
Ward, you're not paying a bit of attention to me.
Yes I am, you said the boys would be a little late,
and your vacuum cleaner caught on fire.
(audience laughing)
Uh huh, and I thought you weren't listening.
(audience laughing)
Boys say where they were going?
They just said, when they left this morning,
they were gonna stop off somewhere
on their way home from school.
Mm, probably marble season.
Uh huh, I'll take care of it right after dinner.
(audience laughing)
(soft instrumental music) (audience laughing)
(soft instrumental music)
[Judge] This is your second violation.
That will be $25 fine.
$25?
Shh.
Next case, bailiff.
Wally, let's go home.
(audience laughing)
- We can't now.
(audience laughing softly)
Now, Mr. Cleaver.
Which one of you is Theodore Cleaver?
This is me.
[Judge] And who is this other young gentleman?
I'm his guardian.
(audience laughing softly)
His official guardian?
No, he's my official brother,
but he's my guardian today.
(courtroom audience laughing)
(gavel hitting sound block)
Son, didn't you realize
you were supposed to bring your parents?
I guess I heard somethin' about it.
But they couldn't 'xctly come.
I see, they're working people?
Yeah, they work real hard.
They work on a ship,
that isn't here now.
(audience laughing softly)
And what is the name of the ship?
Uh, tell him the name of the ship, Wally.
(audience laughing)
Uh, well I don't think they're working today.
But I think they're sick.
Yeah, they're sick.
(audience laughing)
Boys, are you sure about this?
Right now, I'm not sure of anything.
(courtroom audience laughing)
Would you two boys mind waiting a few minutes?
I think I'd like to talk to you alone.
Yes sir, we'll wait.
(somber instrumental music)
Next case, bailiff.
(somber instrumental music)
I fail to find any extenuating circumstances here.
Reckless driving is one thing
we cannot tolerate in this city!
That will be $50 fine or 10 days in jail.
Next case, bailiff.
Wow, that's four people he sent to jail already.
You know, Wally, no matter what happens,
I'm not gonna cry.
Take it easy, Beaver.
You struck a parked vehicle,
you left the scene of an accident,
and you were driving with a suspended license.
I see no reason for leniency here.
That'll be $250 fine or 60 days in the county jail.
(somber instrumental music)
Now I think I can talk to young Mr. Cleaver,
and his guardian.
That's us.
(somber instrumental music)
You two boys can step around up here.
(dramatic instrumental music)
Violation section 4938 vehicle code.
Mister, my parents don't work on a ship.
And they're not really sick.
I was just a scared to bring 'em.
I'm sorry I made it up.
I see.
This is your real brother though?
Yes sir, he's real all right.
(audience laughing)
Well, you see sir,
our father helped us build this real neat car.
And then, he made us promise
not to take it out on the street.
Yeah, but I was there by myself with Larry Mondello,
and he was eatin' apples.
And he said, "Let's take a ride."
And I said, "I'm not supposed to take a ride by myself."
And he said, "You're not by yourself, I'm with ya."
So we took a ride.
He didn't mean to break the law or nothin'.
It's only a toy, the motor's only one-lunger.
Well, you may think of it as just a toy.
But the law defines a motor vehicle.
And this is undoubtedly a vehicle with a motor on it,
even though it's just a one-lunger.
Yes sir.
Now, the law clearly states,
you must have a license to operate a motor vehicle.
(Beaver blowing nose)
(audience laughing)
And I'm sure you don't want to break the law do you?
Oh, I'm sure I don't either.
[Wally] We thought you were gonna put him in jail,
like you did everybody else.
No, I think Theodore has learned his lesson.
Haven't you, Theodore?
Yes sir, I'm not gonna take no vehicle, no place.
(audience laughing)
Well, you two boys can run along home now.
We'll just expunge this from the records.
Thank you, sir.
Thank you, sir.
And boys, if I were you, I think I'd get rid of that car.
Yes sir.
Yes sir.
(gentle instrumental music)
Mister, do I have to tell my father about this?
[Judge] Well son, I think we'll just leave that up to you.
(gentle instrumental music)
(playful instrumental music)
Well, may I say, that was a very excellent dinner.
Well, you better say that,
I worked on it all afternoon.
(audience laughing)
(gentle instrumental music)
- Hi, fellas.
- Hello, boys.
Hi, Dad.
Hi, Mom.
The Beaver wants to talk to ya.
All right, what's up?
Well, you know this afternoon
when we got home late from school?
Yeah, I guess so, playing marbles huh?
No sir, we wasn't playin' marbles.
We sure wasn't.
We were in court.
The school took you?
No, I got arrested.
- Arrested?
- Arrested?
Arrested, I took Larry Mondello for a ride in the car,
you helped us build, and I didn't have no license.
(audience laughing softly)
And you went to court?
Yeah, but it's okay now.
They're not gonna do anything to him.
Yeah, the judge sponged off my record.
(audience laughing)
Well, I'm very thankful for that.
But Beaver, why?
The thing I can't understand,
is it's bad enough that you
took the car out into the street
when I told you not to,
but why, when you got in trouble, didn't you come to me?
I guess I was a scared to, Dad.
What were you scared of?
What did you think I'd do if you told me?
Well, that's the trouble, Dad, we never can tell.
(audience laughing)
Now, wait a minute boys.
Let's get something straight.
I don't care what kind of trouble
you may get into in life,
you don't ever need to be afraid
to come to your parents and tell them.
Yes sir, I'm sorry.
Well, you'd better go on up to your room.
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight, boys.
What is it, Wally?
Well, he was scared and that's one of the reasons
why he didn't tell ya.
But there's another reason too.
He didn't wanna hurt your feelings.
Hurt my feelings?
Yeah, since you were so nice
and helping us build the car and everything,
he didn't wanna make you feel bad
'cause you've got a kid like him.
(gentle instrumental music)
(soaring orchestral music)
(playful instrumental music)
(dramatic orchestral music)