Leave It to Beaver (1957) s01e25 Episode Script
The Broken Window
1
("Leave it to Beaver" theme music)
[Announcer] Leave It to Beaver.
Starring Barbara Billingsley, Hugh Beaumont, Tony Dow,
and Jerry Mathers as The Beaver.
(soft orchestral music)
Oh?
Oh.
Well, thanks a lot, mister.
Something wrong, Wally?
I'll say there is.
Costs almost $16 to get the window fixed.
And all we got is $6.35.
Yeah.
Mom and Dad'll be home pretty soon too.
Uh-huh.
No, Fred, I'm sorry, Ward isn't home yet.
Can I have him call you back?
(kids yelling outside)
Fred?
I can't quite hear you.
Boys are playing ball outside.
Oh, you'll call him back?
This is the night of your Spanish lesson.
Oh, well fine.
What?
Oh, well
Buenos noches to you too, Fred.
(audience laughing)
Bye.
(continued yelling and playing)
[Boy] Eddie, are you ever gonna take a cut at it?
C'mon, Wally, put it right over here.
Just once when I play ball with these big guys,
I'd like to get up to bat.
Me too.
C'mon, Wally, put it right over here.
Right here, Wally, c'mon.
[Boy] Eddie, are you ever gonna take a cut at it?
[Boy] C'mon, Eddie, will ya?
Wally, put it over here.
Right over, Wally.
Right over.
[Boy] Hurry up, c'mon!
C'mon, Eddie, cut out the grandstanding and hit it.
Yeah, we've been playing for over an hour
and you haven't hit one yet.
Ah, leave me alone.
I'm not gonna pull any muscles.
Huh.
What muscles?
(audience laughing)
Who do you think you are, Ted Williams?
Go ahead and hit him; My leg's going to sleep.
(audience laughing)
(kids laughing)
You warmed up so much, you went stale!
Ah, pipe down!
C'mon, Wally, try to put one over, will ya?
(frantic orchestral music)
I got it, I got it!
(glass shattering)
(audience laughing)
Hey, let's get outta here!
Wally, shouldn't we run too?
We can't, it's our house.
(audience laughing)
I don't mind so much getting it for ourselves,
but I sure hate getting it for Eddie.
Ahem.
Hi, Dad.
Hello, fellas.
Hey, those other guys sure took
off in a hurry, didn't they?
They sure did.
(audience laughing)
Something wrong, boys?
Uh
Well, we just broke a window, Dad.
You broke the window, Wally?
Well, I was pitching and Eddie hit it.
And I don't know if it was on account of the way I threw it
or on account of the way he hit it.
(audience laughing)
- Anyway, the window's busted.
Yeah, it certainly is.
Now look, boys, common sense should tell you
that playing ball this close to the house,
you're bound to break a window
(door opening)
Ward.
Fred Rutherford's on the phone.
Oh, well, tell him I'll call him back.
He can't wait, he has to take his Spanish lesson.
(audience laughing)
All right, I'll see you boys later.
So, this is the crash I heard.
This is it.
What'd your father say?
He didn't get a chance to say it yet.
(audience laughing)
Well, don't worry about it.
Dinner will be ready in a minute.
Maybe my lamb chops will help.
You know, Mom, when we're in a mess,
you kinda make things seem not so messy.
Well, isn't that sort of what mothers are for?
(soft orchestral music)
All right, boys.
The window's broken
and it's simple enough to have it repaired.
But I just want one thing understood.
From now on, there'll be no ball-playing
close to the house, right?
Right, Dad, we promise.
Yeah, we promise.
Because if there is any more ball-playing near the house,
I'm going to be very (pausing) disappointed.
You mean you won't like us anymore, Dad?
Well, let's just say that it wouldn't make me very happy
to feel that you had broken your word.
Now, that's that.
We'll hear no more about the subject.
Now, Wally, pass the bread, please.
Thank you.
(laughing)
Of course, when I was a boy,
if I'd broken a window, I'd have had to pay for it.
(audience laughing lightly)
Gee, with your own money?
Oh, you bet, with my own money.
Not only that, but I'd have gotten
a pretty good taste of the strap too.
Gee, Dad, you must a had a real mean father.
(audience laughing)
Well, I wouldn't call him mean exactly,
but he certainly had a fine sense of values.
Dear.
Why don't you tell the boys
how you had to sell matches in the snow on Christmas Eve?
(audience laughing)
Gee, Dad, can I do that sometime?
(audience laughing)
- Nevermind, Beaver.
I thought we'd agreed to drop the subject.
So did I!
(audience laughing)
Weren't you a little late tonight, dear?
Yes I was, dear.
I had to stop by Mac's garage to pick up the car.
Oh.
I had to leave it there this morning
to have the brakes checked.
I thought Mac checked the brakes just six months ago.
Well, yes, yes he did.
But it seems that someone had been driving the car
for quite a few miles with the emergency brake on.
(audience laughing)
Not very good for them, you know.
So I've heard.
Ward.
You wouldn't be implying
that I drove the car with the brakes on, would you?
Why, dear, I said no such thing!
Well, just to put your mind at ease,
no matter how many times I drive that car,
I'll never use the brakes again.
(audience laughing)
Now, June
Um
I think we'd better drop this subject too.
Gee, do we have to, Dad?
It was just getting good. (Audience laughing)
Wally, you're not eating your lamb chops.
Yeah.
It's funny getting our own breakfast, Wally.
Yeah.
You know, Mr. Cornelius took Mom and Dad out
to look at lots in his car.
Are Mom and Dad gonna buy a lot?
No.
Looking at lots is just one of
those things grown people do.
(audience laughing)
(lighthearted orchestral music)
Now, Ward, this piece of property
that I'm going to show you and Mrs. C.,
it's what I call a friendly piece of property.
What I mean is it practically reaches out
and shakes hands with ya.
Well, it's been some time since I shook hands
with a vacant lot.
(audience laughing)
Very good, Ward, very good. (Laughing)
But, Corny, this seems like very expensive property.
There's no sense in our looking at something
we can't afford.
Well, I always say a person never knows what he can afford
until he goes into debt.
That's the way to find out your financial capacity.
Look, Corny, when I need financial ad
Nevermind, dear.
You're probably right.
It's a great neighborhood for children.
They're even talking about putting sidewalks in.
Why didn't you bring the offsprings along, huh?
Oh, they were going off to play ball.
Oh, you left them by themselves, huh?
I'll never forget the time the missus and I
left little Jimmy John alone.
He was eight or nine at the time.
Yeah, we had one of those little doors
cut in the kitchen door;
you know, for the cat to come in and out.
Sure enough, when we got back,
there was little Jimmy John with his head caught in it.
(audience laughing)
- Was he hurt?
Oh no, just a little frightened, that's all. (Laughing)
The cat was very upset.
(audience laughing)
Yeah, you shoulda brought the boys along.
Well, I'm quite sure they're all right.
We don't have a cat.
(audience laughing)
(steam hissing)
Hey, Wally, let's do that again
and pretend the house is on fire.
Yeah, that'd be neat, but we gotta go play baseball.
Oh yeah.
The guys are waiting over at Metzger's Field.
Hey, Wally, I thunk we was gonna have
fried egg sandwiches.
We were, but the yolks broke, so I scrambled 'em.
Yeah, it's funny how eggs can get away from ya.
(audience laughing)
We can mess around a little while until Eddie gets here.
(audience chuckling)
Throw me one, Wally!
You know we're not supposed to play ball near the house.
Just throw me one, I never hit it anyway.
Okay.
I'll throw it easy.
(bat cracking)
(crashing)
(audience laughing)
Beaver, something broke in there.
Let's go play ball.
We better look in the garage first.
I sure hope it's not what I think it is.
So do I.
(somber orchestral music)
(audience laughing)
Uh-oh, Wally, this is the second window we busted
in two days.
Yeah, and we promised Dad
we wouldn't play ball around here anymore.
What do we do?
We're in real big trouble.
I don't know.
After what Dad said last night,
there's no telling what he'll do.
Hey, Wally, isn't Eddie Haskell coming over
to walk us over to Metzger's Field?
We could ask him what to do.
Hey, that's a good idea, Beaver.
Eddie's been in just about every kinda trouble
a guy could get in. (Audience laughing)
(phone ringing)
Uh-oh, wonder who that could be.
I don't know, but we better answer it.
Yeah, at least we can't get in any trouble doing that.
That's funny, they don't answer.
They've probably already gone over to play ball.
Oh.
Oh, hello, Wally.
Is everything all right?
Oh sure, Mom.
Oh, us?
We're not doing anything.
Just messing around.
Did you have a good breakfast?
I see.
Uh-huh.
Ice cream and donuts?
(audience laughing)
No, they started out to have fried eggs,
but they ended up with scrambled.
Oh, well that figures.
Mom, what time are you gonna come home?
(audience laughing)
Well, we thought we'd stay out
and have lunch with Mr. Cornelius.
You and Beaver will be all right, won't you?
Oh sure, Mom.
I think everything'll be all
right by the time you get home.
(audience laughing) Bye.
Goodbye, Wally.
Take good care of Beaver.
Well, the way he talked,
they don't care if we ever come home.
Well, you know how kids are.
I guess I used to be the same way.
Yeah, but you had a real mean father.
(audience laughing)
After lunch, I wanna show you good people
the Willoughby property.
Oh, that other place was much too expensive.
Oh, but we've got a great break on the Willoughby deal.
You see, there's been a divorce
and I think we can just step in and take advantage of it.
(audience laughing)
(slow orchestral music)
Well, what do you think we should do, Eddie?
Well, that depends.
Your father's out, huh?
Yeah, him and Mom went to look at building lots.
Then what are you worried about?
You just roll it down and don't say nothing.
That looks pretty good, Eddie.
Yeah, but Eddie, sooner or later
they're gonna roll up the window.
What do we do then?
You just look surprised and say,
"Gee, Dad, I wonder how that coulda happened."
(audience laughing)
No, Eddie, we can't do that.
(audience chuckling)
Okay, if you don't know good advice when you hear it.
You coming over to play ball?
Yeah, we might be over later.
Okay.
Wally?
Maybe we shoulda told Mom on the phone
about the busted window.
Yeah.
What do we do now?
Well, I guess we'll just have to
get ahold of some money some way,
get it fixed before they get back.
(soft orchestral music)
You know, Beaver,
I never knew you could hit a ball that hard.
(audience laughing)
Here comes another nickel.
(audience laughing)
Well, I guess that's all.
How much we got, Wally?
We got $1.85.
You know, Wally, Dad checks the piggy every night
to see how we're doing.
He's gonna know it's empty.
No he won't.
We'll put washers in it.
Then, when he shakes it, it'll sound like we got money.
(audience laughing)
You know, Wally,
you're getting more like Eddie Haskell all the time.
(audience laughing)
You cut that out, Beaver.
(audience laughing)
This is mine.
This ain't mine.
This is mine.
This is mine.
This ain't mine.
This ain't mine.
This is mine.
This ain't mine.
(cash register ringing)
Here you go.
Wally?
Which do we have more of is-mines or ain't-mines?
(audience laughing)
- I don't know.
All we got is 65 cents.
(pensive orchestral music)
Well, boys, I can let ya have $1.18 for all this stuff,
provided, of course, you throw in the wagon.
(audience chuckling)
What do ya think, Wally?
Well, it's not too much,
but we're too tired to haul
this junk all the way back home.
(audience laughing)
All right, Fats.
(soft orchestral music)
Yeah, mister, it's last year's model.
Oh?
Oh.
Well, thanks a lot, mister.
Something wrong, Wally?
I'll say there is.
Costs almost $16 to get the window fixed.
And all we got is $6.35.
Yeah.
Mom and Dad'll be home pretty soon too.
(car horn honking)
You know, Wally,
maybe something good might happen before they do.
Beaver, what could happen?
I don't know, I just hope something does.
(audience chuckling)
You know, I wouldn't mind so much if Dad would yell at us
and even hit us,
but I sure hate the way he's gonna look at us.
Yeah.
(audience laughing)
Wally, let's run away.
Run away?
Where would we go?
I don't know.
We could call up the bus company
and ask 'em how far you could go
on $6.35. (Audience laughing)
That's a goofy way to run away.
If you're gonna run away,
you should at least know where you're going.
Yeah.
I guess we're just gonna have to stay here
and let Dad look at us.
(audience laughing)
Where ya goin', Wally?
I'm gonna go outside and roll down the car window.
Might at least get us through supper.
(audience laughing)
(soft orchestral music)
Well, you boys are very quiet tonight.
No we're not, Dad, we just ain't sayin' nothin'.
(audience laughing)
I guess you guys are kinda tired
from looking at lots all day.
I guess we are.
Then I guess you won't be going anyplace in the car
or anything like that.
No, as a matter of fact,
we thought we'd all go to bed early tonight.
In fact, we thought we'd go to bed very early
so we'll be all ready for our drive tomorrow.
(curious orchestral music)
(audience chuckling)
We going somewhere?
We sure are.
You guys have been after me for two weeks
to take you up to Crystal Falls.
Okay, tomorrow we're gonna drive up there for a picnic.
In the car? (Audience laughing)
Of course, in the car, Wally.
What's gotten into you this evening?
Nothing.
Gee, Dad, do we have to go on a picnic?
Now, just a minute, fellas.
You've been after me for two weeks
to take you to Crystal Falls, all right?
Your mother's packed a lunch.
I've canceled a golf date.
We're going on a picnic tomorrow and have a wonderful day,
and don't you sit there and tell me we're not!
(audience laughing)
- Yes, Dad.
Yes, Dad.
Well
If you boys aren't gonna finish your dessert,
you may be excused.
- Thanks, Mom.
Dad?
If you wanna shake our piggy bank,
we left it in the kitchen.
(audience laughing)
Thank you, Beaver.
(audience laughing)
June, those two are up to something
if they don't wanna go on a picnic.
Oh, I don't think so.
They've probably eaten a lotta junk today
and their little stomachs just aren't up to it.
But if you feel that way, why don't you talk to them?
Well, I think I
No, I don't think so.
After looking at vacant lots all day,
whatever they're up to, I'm not up to.
(audience laughing)
Well, Beav, Dad's sure to see the car window tomorrow.
I still think we oughta pack our stuff and run away.
No, we can't do that now.
It's almost our bedtime.
(audience laughing)
(soft orchestral music)
Well, gang, we've got a great day for a picnic, huh?
Aren't we all glad we came?
I am.
What about you boys?
I guess I am.
Well, I guess I am too.
(audience laughing)
Oh, Beaver, roll up that window, will you please?
What'd you say, Dad?
I said roll up the window.
The wind's blowing on Wally and your mother.
It's not blowing on you, is it, Wally?
No, I didn't even know it was open.
It's not blowing on you either, is it, Mom?
As a matter of fact, it is.
Beaver, will you please roll up that window?
I can't, Dad.
Well, why in the world can't you?
'Cause we broke the window, Dad.
Oh.
You broke the window, huh?
Yes, Dad.
Yesterday, when you and Mom was out looking at lots,
me and Wally were going over to Metzger's Field
to play baseball and I asked him to throw me one.
And I don't usually hit 'em, but this time I hit it
and it broken the window.
And we was gonna run away, but we only had $6.35, sir.
(audience laughing)
Yeah, Dad.
We were gonna try to get it fixed before you got back.
I'm sorry we broke our promise
about playing ball near the house.
Well, just the same, Beaver, do what your father asks.
Roll up the window.
(slow orchestral music)
(audience laughing)
Gee whiz, the window's not busted anymore!
The something good really did happen!
Well, I'll tell you what happened, boys.
Last night, I went out to put something in the car
and I slammed the car door.
I heard glass breaking.
I thought I had done it.
Yes, and your father knew
we were going to use the car today,
so he took it down this morning and Mac fixed the window.
(audience chuckling)
Uh-oh.
Well, it's all out in the open now.
You sorry you told me?
Sorry?
Yeah, if you hadn't told me,
I'd never have known about it.
Boys, with your father thinking that he broke the window,
would you ever have told him?
Yeah, I guess we would, after a while.
When, after a while?
Someday, when we done something real good
and you was real happy about it.
(audience laughing)
[Ward] Come here, you little rascal.
(bright orchestral music)
[Wally] The guys are gonna meet us
over at Metzger's Field?
[Eddie] Yeah, that's what they said.
Bye, Dad, we're going over to Metzger's Field.
Well, have a good ballgame and don't stay too late.
I'll remind them when it's time to come home, Mr. Cleaver.
I have a watch.
Thank you, Eddie.
Oh, here boys, here are your sandwiches.
Oh thanks, Mom.
Thank you, Mrs. Cleaver.
Goodbye, Mom!
Beaver, don't let the ball hit ya.
Oh no, Mom.
(door slamming)
(audience laughing)
Hey, you never told me.
What happened about that busted car window?
You get away with it?
No, our father find out.
But I told you what to do.
How come he found out?
He found out because we told him.
You told him?
Yeah, we told him.
What'd he do, let you have it across the puss, huh?
No, he didn't hit us.
He's just gonna take the money out of our allowance.
Is that all?
My old man woulda let me have it right across the puss.
You know something?
You guys have got a real goofy father.
You cut that out, Eddie,
or you really will be getting it across the puss!
And it won't be from your father either.
(audience laughing)
All right, all right.
Let's go.
Don't make a big thing out of it.
(bright orchestral music)
(playful orchestral music)
("Leave it to Beaver" theme music)
[Announcer] Leave It to Beaver.
Starring Barbara Billingsley, Hugh Beaumont, Tony Dow,
and Jerry Mathers as The Beaver.
(soft orchestral music)
Oh?
Oh.
Well, thanks a lot, mister.
Something wrong, Wally?
I'll say there is.
Costs almost $16 to get the window fixed.
And all we got is $6.35.
Yeah.
Mom and Dad'll be home pretty soon too.
Uh-huh.
No, Fred, I'm sorry, Ward isn't home yet.
Can I have him call you back?
(kids yelling outside)
Fred?
I can't quite hear you.
Boys are playing ball outside.
Oh, you'll call him back?
This is the night of your Spanish lesson.
Oh, well fine.
What?
Oh, well
Buenos noches to you too, Fred.
(audience laughing)
Bye.
(continued yelling and playing)
[Boy] Eddie, are you ever gonna take a cut at it?
C'mon, Wally, put it right over here.
Just once when I play ball with these big guys,
I'd like to get up to bat.
Me too.
C'mon, Wally, put it right over here.
Right here, Wally, c'mon.
[Boy] Eddie, are you ever gonna take a cut at it?
[Boy] C'mon, Eddie, will ya?
Wally, put it over here.
Right over, Wally.
Right over.
[Boy] Hurry up, c'mon!
C'mon, Eddie, cut out the grandstanding and hit it.
Yeah, we've been playing for over an hour
and you haven't hit one yet.
Ah, leave me alone.
I'm not gonna pull any muscles.
Huh.
What muscles?
(audience laughing)
Who do you think you are, Ted Williams?
Go ahead and hit him; My leg's going to sleep.
(audience laughing)
(kids laughing)
You warmed up so much, you went stale!
Ah, pipe down!
C'mon, Wally, try to put one over, will ya?
(frantic orchestral music)
I got it, I got it!
(glass shattering)
(audience laughing)
Hey, let's get outta here!
Wally, shouldn't we run too?
We can't, it's our house.
(audience laughing)
I don't mind so much getting it for ourselves,
but I sure hate getting it for Eddie.
Ahem.
Hi, Dad.
Hello, fellas.
Hey, those other guys sure took
off in a hurry, didn't they?
They sure did.
(audience laughing)
Something wrong, boys?
Uh
Well, we just broke a window, Dad.
You broke the window, Wally?
Well, I was pitching and Eddie hit it.
And I don't know if it was on account of the way I threw it
or on account of the way he hit it.
(audience laughing)
- Anyway, the window's busted.
Yeah, it certainly is.
Now look, boys, common sense should tell you
that playing ball this close to the house,
you're bound to break a window
(door opening)
Ward.
Fred Rutherford's on the phone.
Oh, well, tell him I'll call him back.
He can't wait, he has to take his Spanish lesson.
(audience laughing)
All right, I'll see you boys later.
So, this is the crash I heard.
This is it.
What'd your father say?
He didn't get a chance to say it yet.
(audience laughing)
Well, don't worry about it.
Dinner will be ready in a minute.
Maybe my lamb chops will help.
You know, Mom, when we're in a mess,
you kinda make things seem not so messy.
Well, isn't that sort of what mothers are for?
(soft orchestral music)
All right, boys.
The window's broken
and it's simple enough to have it repaired.
But I just want one thing understood.
From now on, there'll be no ball-playing
close to the house, right?
Right, Dad, we promise.
Yeah, we promise.
Because if there is any more ball-playing near the house,
I'm going to be very (pausing) disappointed.
You mean you won't like us anymore, Dad?
Well, let's just say that it wouldn't make me very happy
to feel that you had broken your word.
Now, that's that.
We'll hear no more about the subject.
Now, Wally, pass the bread, please.
Thank you.
(laughing)
Of course, when I was a boy,
if I'd broken a window, I'd have had to pay for it.
(audience laughing lightly)
Gee, with your own money?
Oh, you bet, with my own money.
Not only that, but I'd have gotten
a pretty good taste of the strap too.
Gee, Dad, you must a had a real mean father.
(audience laughing)
Well, I wouldn't call him mean exactly,
but he certainly had a fine sense of values.
Dear.
Why don't you tell the boys
how you had to sell matches in the snow on Christmas Eve?
(audience laughing)
Gee, Dad, can I do that sometime?
(audience laughing)
- Nevermind, Beaver.
I thought we'd agreed to drop the subject.
So did I!
(audience laughing)
Weren't you a little late tonight, dear?
Yes I was, dear.
I had to stop by Mac's garage to pick up the car.
Oh.
I had to leave it there this morning
to have the brakes checked.
I thought Mac checked the brakes just six months ago.
Well, yes, yes he did.
But it seems that someone had been driving the car
for quite a few miles with the emergency brake on.
(audience laughing)
Not very good for them, you know.
So I've heard.
Ward.
You wouldn't be implying
that I drove the car with the brakes on, would you?
Why, dear, I said no such thing!
Well, just to put your mind at ease,
no matter how many times I drive that car,
I'll never use the brakes again.
(audience laughing)
Now, June
Um
I think we'd better drop this subject too.
Gee, do we have to, Dad?
It was just getting good. (Audience laughing)
Wally, you're not eating your lamb chops.
Yeah.
It's funny getting our own breakfast, Wally.
Yeah.
You know, Mr. Cornelius took Mom and Dad out
to look at lots in his car.
Are Mom and Dad gonna buy a lot?
No.
Looking at lots is just one of
those things grown people do.
(audience laughing)
(lighthearted orchestral music)
Now, Ward, this piece of property
that I'm going to show you and Mrs. C.,
it's what I call a friendly piece of property.
What I mean is it practically reaches out
and shakes hands with ya.
Well, it's been some time since I shook hands
with a vacant lot.
(audience laughing)
Very good, Ward, very good. (Laughing)
But, Corny, this seems like very expensive property.
There's no sense in our looking at something
we can't afford.
Well, I always say a person never knows what he can afford
until he goes into debt.
That's the way to find out your financial capacity.
Look, Corny, when I need financial ad
Nevermind, dear.
You're probably right.
It's a great neighborhood for children.
They're even talking about putting sidewalks in.
Why didn't you bring the offsprings along, huh?
Oh, they were going off to play ball.
Oh, you left them by themselves, huh?
I'll never forget the time the missus and I
left little Jimmy John alone.
He was eight or nine at the time.
Yeah, we had one of those little doors
cut in the kitchen door;
you know, for the cat to come in and out.
Sure enough, when we got back,
there was little Jimmy John with his head caught in it.
(audience laughing)
- Was he hurt?
Oh no, just a little frightened, that's all. (Laughing)
The cat was very upset.
(audience laughing)
Yeah, you shoulda brought the boys along.
Well, I'm quite sure they're all right.
We don't have a cat.
(audience laughing)
(steam hissing)
Hey, Wally, let's do that again
and pretend the house is on fire.
Yeah, that'd be neat, but we gotta go play baseball.
Oh yeah.
The guys are waiting over at Metzger's Field.
Hey, Wally, I thunk we was gonna have
fried egg sandwiches.
We were, but the yolks broke, so I scrambled 'em.
Yeah, it's funny how eggs can get away from ya.
(audience laughing)
We can mess around a little while until Eddie gets here.
(audience chuckling)
Throw me one, Wally!
You know we're not supposed to play ball near the house.
Just throw me one, I never hit it anyway.
Okay.
I'll throw it easy.
(bat cracking)
(crashing)
(audience laughing)
Beaver, something broke in there.
Let's go play ball.
We better look in the garage first.
I sure hope it's not what I think it is.
So do I.
(somber orchestral music)
(audience laughing)
Uh-oh, Wally, this is the second window we busted
in two days.
Yeah, and we promised Dad
we wouldn't play ball around here anymore.
What do we do?
We're in real big trouble.
I don't know.
After what Dad said last night,
there's no telling what he'll do.
Hey, Wally, isn't Eddie Haskell coming over
to walk us over to Metzger's Field?
We could ask him what to do.
Hey, that's a good idea, Beaver.
Eddie's been in just about every kinda trouble
a guy could get in. (Audience laughing)
(phone ringing)
Uh-oh, wonder who that could be.
I don't know, but we better answer it.
Yeah, at least we can't get in any trouble doing that.
That's funny, they don't answer.
They've probably already gone over to play ball.
Oh.
Oh, hello, Wally.
Is everything all right?
Oh sure, Mom.
Oh, us?
We're not doing anything.
Just messing around.
Did you have a good breakfast?
I see.
Uh-huh.
Ice cream and donuts?
(audience laughing)
No, they started out to have fried eggs,
but they ended up with scrambled.
Oh, well that figures.
Mom, what time are you gonna come home?
(audience laughing)
Well, we thought we'd stay out
and have lunch with Mr. Cornelius.
You and Beaver will be all right, won't you?
Oh sure, Mom.
I think everything'll be all
right by the time you get home.
(audience laughing) Bye.
Goodbye, Wally.
Take good care of Beaver.
Well, the way he talked,
they don't care if we ever come home.
Well, you know how kids are.
I guess I used to be the same way.
Yeah, but you had a real mean father.
(audience laughing)
After lunch, I wanna show you good people
the Willoughby property.
Oh, that other place was much too expensive.
Oh, but we've got a great break on the Willoughby deal.
You see, there's been a divorce
and I think we can just step in and take advantage of it.
(audience laughing)
(slow orchestral music)
Well, what do you think we should do, Eddie?
Well, that depends.
Your father's out, huh?
Yeah, him and Mom went to look at building lots.
Then what are you worried about?
You just roll it down and don't say nothing.
That looks pretty good, Eddie.
Yeah, but Eddie, sooner or later
they're gonna roll up the window.
What do we do then?
You just look surprised and say,
"Gee, Dad, I wonder how that coulda happened."
(audience laughing)
No, Eddie, we can't do that.
(audience chuckling)
Okay, if you don't know good advice when you hear it.
You coming over to play ball?
Yeah, we might be over later.
Okay.
Wally?
Maybe we shoulda told Mom on the phone
about the busted window.
Yeah.
What do we do now?
Well, I guess we'll just have to
get ahold of some money some way,
get it fixed before they get back.
(soft orchestral music)
You know, Beaver,
I never knew you could hit a ball that hard.
(audience laughing)
Here comes another nickel.
(audience laughing)
Well, I guess that's all.
How much we got, Wally?
We got $1.85.
You know, Wally, Dad checks the piggy every night
to see how we're doing.
He's gonna know it's empty.
No he won't.
We'll put washers in it.
Then, when he shakes it, it'll sound like we got money.
(audience laughing)
You know, Wally,
you're getting more like Eddie Haskell all the time.
(audience laughing)
You cut that out, Beaver.
(audience laughing)
This is mine.
This ain't mine.
This is mine.
This is mine.
This ain't mine.
This ain't mine.
This is mine.
This ain't mine.
(cash register ringing)
Here you go.
Wally?
Which do we have more of is-mines or ain't-mines?
(audience laughing)
- I don't know.
All we got is 65 cents.
(pensive orchestral music)
Well, boys, I can let ya have $1.18 for all this stuff,
provided, of course, you throw in the wagon.
(audience chuckling)
What do ya think, Wally?
Well, it's not too much,
but we're too tired to haul
this junk all the way back home.
(audience laughing)
All right, Fats.
(soft orchestral music)
Yeah, mister, it's last year's model.
Oh?
Oh.
Well, thanks a lot, mister.
Something wrong, Wally?
I'll say there is.
Costs almost $16 to get the window fixed.
And all we got is $6.35.
Yeah.
Mom and Dad'll be home pretty soon too.
(car horn honking)
You know, Wally,
maybe something good might happen before they do.
Beaver, what could happen?
I don't know, I just hope something does.
(audience chuckling)
You know, I wouldn't mind so much if Dad would yell at us
and even hit us,
but I sure hate the way he's gonna look at us.
Yeah.
(audience laughing)
Wally, let's run away.
Run away?
Where would we go?
I don't know.
We could call up the bus company
and ask 'em how far you could go
on $6.35. (Audience laughing)
That's a goofy way to run away.
If you're gonna run away,
you should at least know where you're going.
Yeah.
I guess we're just gonna have to stay here
and let Dad look at us.
(audience laughing)
Where ya goin', Wally?
I'm gonna go outside and roll down the car window.
Might at least get us through supper.
(audience laughing)
(soft orchestral music)
Well, you boys are very quiet tonight.
No we're not, Dad, we just ain't sayin' nothin'.
(audience laughing)
I guess you guys are kinda tired
from looking at lots all day.
I guess we are.
Then I guess you won't be going anyplace in the car
or anything like that.
No, as a matter of fact,
we thought we'd all go to bed early tonight.
In fact, we thought we'd go to bed very early
so we'll be all ready for our drive tomorrow.
(curious orchestral music)
(audience chuckling)
We going somewhere?
We sure are.
You guys have been after me for two weeks
to take you up to Crystal Falls.
Okay, tomorrow we're gonna drive up there for a picnic.
In the car? (Audience laughing)
Of course, in the car, Wally.
What's gotten into you this evening?
Nothing.
Gee, Dad, do we have to go on a picnic?
Now, just a minute, fellas.
You've been after me for two weeks
to take you to Crystal Falls, all right?
Your mother's packed a lunch.
I've canceled a golf date.
We're going on a picnic tomorrow and have a wonderful day,
and don't you sit there and tell me we're not!
(audience laughing)
- Yes, Dad.
Yes, Dad.
Well
If you boys aren't gonna finish your dessert,
you may be excused.
- Thanks, Mom.
Dad?
If you wanna shake our piggy bank,
we left it in the kitchen.
(audience laughing)
Thank you, Beaver.
(audience laughing)
June, those two are up to something
if they don't wanna go on a picnic.
Oh, I don't think so.
They've probably eaten a lotta junk today
and their little stomachs just aren't up to it.
But if you feel that way, why don't you talk to them?
Well, I think I
No, I don't think so.
After looking at vacant lots all day,
whatever they're up to, I'm not up to.
(audience laughing)
Well, Beav, Dad's sure to see the car window tomorrow.
I still think we oughta pack our stuff and run away.
No, we can't do that now.
It's almost our bedtime.
(audience laughing)
(soft orchestral music)
Well, gang, we've got a great day for a picnic, huh?
Aren't we all glad we came?
I am.
What about you boys?
I guess I am.
Well, I guess I am too.
(audience laughing)
Oh, Beaver, roll up that window, will you please?
What'd you say, Dad?
I said roll up the window.
The wind's blowing on Wally and your mother.
It's not blowing on you, is it, Wally?
No, I didn't even know it was open.
It's not blowing on you either, is it, Mom?
As a matter of fact, it is.
Beaver, will you please roll up that window?
I can't, Dad.
Well, why in the world can't you?
'Cause we broke the window, Dad.
Oh.
You broke the window, huh?
Yes, Dad.
Yesterday, when you and Mom was out looking at lots,
me and Wally were going over to Metzger's Field
to play baseball and I asked him to throw me one.
And I don't usually hit 'em, but this time I hit it
and it broken the window.
And we was gonna run away, but we only had $6.35, sir.
(audience laughing)
Yeah, Dad.
We were gonna try to get it fixed before you got back.
I'm sorry we broke our promise
about playing ball near the house.
Well, just the same, Beaver, do what your father asks.
Roll up the window.
(slow orchestral music)
(audience laughing)
Gee whiz, the window's not busted anymore!
The something good really did happen!
Well, I'll tell you what happened, boys.
Last night, I went out to put something in the car
and I slammed the car door.
I heard glass breaking.
I thought I had done it.
Yes, and your father knew
we were going to use the car today,
so he took it down this morning and Mac fixed the window.
(audience chuckling)
Uh-oh.
Well, it's all out in the open now.
You sorry you told me?
Sorry?
Yeah, if you hadn't told me,
I'd never have known about it.
Boys, with your father thinking that he broke the window,
would you ever have told him?
Yeah, I guess we would, after a while.
When, after a while?
Someday, when we done something real good
and you was real happy about it.
(audience laughing)
[Ward] Come here, you little rascal.
(bright orchestral music)
[Wally] The guys are gonna meet us
over at Metzger's Field?
[Eddie] Yeah, that's what they said.
Bye, Dad, we're going over to Metzger's Field.
Well, have a good ballgame and don't stay too late.
I'll remind them when it's time to come home, Mr. Cleaver.
I have a watch.
Thank you, Eddie.
Oh, here boys, here are your sandwiches.
Oh thanks, Mom.
Thank you, Mrs. Cleaver.
Goodbye, Mom!
Beaver, don't let the ball hit ya.
Oh no, Mom.
(door slamming)
(audience laughing)
Hey, you never told me.
What happened about that busted car window?
You get away with it?
No, our father find out.
But I told you what to do.
How come he found out?
He found out because we told him.
You told him?
Yeah, we told him.
What'd he do, let you have it across the puss, huh?
No, he didn't hit us.
He's just gonna take the money out of our allowance.
Is that all?
My old man woulda let me have it right across the puss.
You know something?
You guys have got a real goofy father.
You cut that out, Eddie,
or you really will be getting it across the puss!
And it won't be from your father either.
(audience laughing)
All right, all right.
Let's go.
Don't make a big thing out of it.
(bright orchestral music)
(playful orchestral music)