The Troop (2009) s01e25 Episode Script

Hayley Okay, I'll see ya.
Um, are you okay, Mr. Stockley?
I'm better than okay.
I've just received
the most wonderful news.
Principal Nuss has a
terrible strep infection.
Um, hurray.
Which means I'm in charge
of the school for
the next five days.
More if the strain
is drug-resistant.
Well, congratulations.
So, what's your first
order of business?
I have so many things that
I've wanted to do for so long.
More social leaning, more
cognitive development,
but we have to prioritize,
so I'm starting with
Matsoh Ball Soup Thursday.
Hayley Huh.
You there!
Learn!
See, I'm a natural.
[analyzer beeps]
Jake Has the analyzer
figured out what we caught?
Felix We have no matches.
I think we stumbled upon
a new species of monster.
Now remember, we have to be very
careful cause we have no idea
of what this creature
is capable of.
Let's put a mouse in there.
No!
This is a level five lockdown.
The most extreme
security measure.
[lid grinding open]
No contact,
constant monitoring,
hyper vigilance.
We should add 'secure lid'
to that list.
[Felix sighs]
You know what, you're so
Ahhh!
The Anita Garcia just escaped!
Jake The what?
I thought I could name it
after my grandmother.
I caught it too!
I was going to name
it the Oculypse.
It's a much better name
for a monster - it's scary.
Ugh, my grandmother's
plenty scary, thank you.
Now remember, all we have to
do is keep the Anita Garcia
contained in HQ.
How are we going
to find this thing?
We just need to ah, collect
all of our knowledge together.
Okay.
It escapes when a lid is open.
Now what?
How can we find something
we know nothing about?
This thing could turn invisible,
shrink down, shape-shift.
We may never find
this monster
Aahh!
All we need is luck, okay.
Luck.
Boys, today is going to be
the greatest day of my
[stinger snaps]
Ow!
Hm?
[thud]
[monster gurgles]
[elevator bell dings]
Well, now we know it
has a paralyzing stinger
and it can work an elevator.
Jake The Oculypse may be
the most elusive creature
we've ever faced.
To find it will take
100 percent concentration.
Absolutely.
Hey, Sara, what's up?
I don't know.
Hey, hey, me too.
I don't know what's up either.
Sara Whatever.
Great focus there, lover boy.
Okay, do you think maybe
we can spend a little more
time hunting monsters
and a little less time
talking to girls
you're never going to get with?
Pulleeeze!
I got game.
I just keep it contained.
[Hayley laughs]
Uh-ha.
A: You have no game.
B: There's a monster
on the loose.
And C: Sara is in a completely
different league than you.
And she's kind of dumb.
Well, which is she?
Dumb or out of my league?
Both.
[girl screams]
[stinger snaps, thud]
Hayley Are you okay?
II don't think so.
I can't get up.
Hayley It's ah, just
ah, beuf bourguignon.
It's not settling too well
with most of the students.
Jake Take this disc thingy.
It's the Oculypse.
The what?
Hayley Okay, we need to find
a safe place to keep Carrie
until we can get over our
'bourguignon problem'.
Then, we'll go for the Oculypse.
Right.
[Carrie groans]
Jake Okay!
Just a sprained ankle.
Excuse us.
Whoa!
See, now you two
look good together.
She's more in your league.
She's kind of a loner, a solid
C student and the first girl
in Lakewood history to make
it on the wrestling team.
And, now there's that
whole gratitude factor.
Carrie Hello,
my hearing is still fine.
And she has good hearing.
Jake Hm.
[disc gurgles]
Felix It's either a part
of its system of feeding
or reproduction.
Either way, get it
away from my head.
Mr. Stockley,
according to these tests,
you'll remain paralyzed
for the next six hours.
I have a school to run.
Don't people think being is
just sitting behind a desk
doing nothing, but there's
stapling and filing
and most importantly,
walking through the hallways
with a baseball bat,
like in that movie.
You have more intimidation
from the neck up
than most people have
in their whole bodies.
That's kind of you to say.
But I wasn't sure I'd be
a good principal even before my
arms and legs stopped working.
Just look at me know
- can't even move.
Felix Obviously, you don't
remember that time I baked you
that cake for your birthday.
Strawberry and chocolate
frosting on a walnut cake.
Who could forget that?
Exactly, but what you
may not know is that I had
poison ivy on my hands
and I baked that whole cake
with my bare feet.
I had a cake made with feet?
[gulps]
That's not important.
What's important is if you
just believe in yourself.
You will be the greatest
Principal in Lakewood history.
Anyone would be proud
to stand beside you.
That's good to hear,
because you're going to be
my assistant today.
Oh, we shouldn't
both look so stupid.
But okay.
Jake The Oculypse
sure works fast.
It's a good thing we found
this empty classroom.
Hayley Just one
of the many benefits
of them cutting
the music program.
Todd It was so big and
it reached out and stung me.
We've got to call
the authorities.
Hayley Shhh, it's okay.
It's just a dream.
Beuf bourguignon
does that to you.
It's true.
Todd A dream?
Well, then you being
here makes sense.
I've had a crush on you
ever since I met you
in the playground.
I even ate a whole bucket
of sand just to impress you.
Did we go to nursery
school together?
No, this was last year.
Oh.
Jake Quite a catch.
Todd Hey, I'm a three letter
varsity athlete, buddy.
Wow, another dumb,
selfish jock.
And after I'm finished
building the Lakewood Community
Center for Underprivileged Kids,
Harvard's inviting me
to an interview.
Make sure you tell
them that sand story.
I don't know,
he's kind of cute.
He eats sand.
Todd Hey, that's it!
You and me, buddy, right now.
You're paralyzed.
Any excuse
to get out of the butt-kicking
that's coming to you.
Jake What are you going do,
blink me to death?
You get over here, about
an inch away from my face
and you'll find out.
I just wish I had pink-eye.
Come on, let's go.
Todd Yeah, that's right.
You run away, coward!
[snap snap snap]
Okay, Mr. S, let's try
this one more time, hm?
[sigh]
[thud]
Now we know, glue sticks
don't work.
Ahh!
I don't know how I'm going
to get through this day, Felix.
Mr. S
[snap snap]
these trying times
[snap snap]
bring out the best of us.
You're right, Felix.
Chin up.
[door rattles]
Who is in charge here?
Huh?
Oh, he is.
Hi, I'm Mr. Stockley, acting
Principal of Lakewood High.
I'm Ms. Wall,
School Superintendent.
What are you doing on the floor?
Ahh
He's just demonstrating
an experimental technique
of full body relaxation
to clear the mind.
Watch how relaxed he is.
[creaks and soft groans]
Huh?
[bangs]
See, can't feel a thing.
Ms. Wall We'll see how
relaxed you are after I finish
my inspection.
Tisk, tisk, tisk.
[groan]
What am I going to do, Felix?
I may have
the answer to that.
Is it going to
make look ridiculous?
Ha ha ha.
Mr. Stockley, not at all.
Okay, arm left, towards the pod.
[machine whir]
Ha!
Impressive, right?
I made it for my Grandpa
Pep-Pep-Louie so he could
dance on his 80th birthday.
The man loved to dance.
This is pretty impressive.
This might actually work.
I can control your motions
and Ms. Wall wouldn't
suspect anything.
Here, let me give you
these Principal's keys
so you can look a little bit
more professional.
Just put them right here.
There.
I like it.
Let's see me walk.
You got it.
[beep]
[Charleston music plays]
Felix?
Oops,
I forgot the Charleston
was the default setting.
[beep]
[music stops]
Sorry, Mr. Stockley.
That's okay, Felix.
I have confidence in you.
The only way we're going to get
through today is by keeping up
a positive mental attitude.
[disc gurgles]
[boom, squirt]
We're doomed.
[school bell rings]
[gasp]
Go!
We're getting crowded.
Todd Back for some more?
Come on, tough guy.
I'm about to dream
I kick you up and down
the hallwayargh!
I'm good, Hayley.
Just a little bit of dream pain.
Why does the monster
leave these discs?
What are they for?
Jake, you need
to be careful, okay?
Dude, you don't even
know what they do.
Hayley, I caught
the Oculypse.
I've seen it more than
anyone else alive,
so let an expert handle this.
Fine.
Come over here.
Take a look at this.
[disc gurgles]
[boom, splat]
Well, we now know we can't
put them under light.
Ha, amazing discovery.
[watchcom beeps]
Felix Jake, Hayley,
be careful with those pods.
They explode when they're
exposed to bright light.
Perhaps, this news
comes a tad late.
Yeah.
[disco music plays]
[machine whir]
Shut this thing off.
What if Ms. Wall sees me?
I'm so sorry, sir.
I'm experiencing a bit
of technical difficulty
with Pep-Pep-Louie's suit.
Stockley Status report.
Jake Well, you could use
a little work on your 'M'.
Hayley And the Oculypse
is still on the loose.
You mean, the Anita Garcia.
Whatever.
And it's leaving these
pods all over the place.
Felix, shut this
thing off now.
Okay, okay.
[beeps]
[thud]
Ooops.
[machine whir]
Stockley Well, these
things are left behind
by the 'Anita Garcia'
when it attacks.
Someone hand me the MDA.
[slaps]
Jake Why do they
call it a MDA again?
Because if you call them
Monster Dropping Analyzer,
nobody wants to touch it.
Jake, in there.
[analyzer beeps]
What do you think,
Mr. Stockley?
It's filled with a
slow-acting but powerful acid.
The Oculypse has no teeth
so it must first dissolve
all it's food into liquid form
and then slurp it up.
Just like the
real Anita Garcia.
[Hayley groans]
[acid sizzles]
Ahh, how long does
the dissolving take?
Stockley Better get to
the decontamination center
before you liquefy.
Felix Make sure
you put it on 'high'.
Stockley Now, I've got
to stay here and prove
myself to Ms. Wall.
Hayley, Jake,
capture that monster.
Find all the kids that have been
attacked and the acid pods
that go with them.
Jake We need something
to put these in to shield
them from the light.
Ahh!
Huh?
Felix Wow, so that's
what they do with all
the music department's money.
Being principal
does have its privileges.
Here, take this.
Hey, how are we going know
if we've found all the victims
and the pods?
Stockley You'll be able
to track them by the
smell of the pods.
They give off this
noxious sulfur odor.
Just like my grandma.
Ha ha.
[Jake and Hayley groan]
[beeps]
[thud]
Hayley Okay, here's
what we need to do,
go classroom by classroom,
hallway by hallway
looking for victims,
pods and Oculypses.
Got it?
I think I got it.
There's just still one
thing I don't understand.
Yeah?
Why do think Sara Snodgrass
is in a different
league than me?
Jake, it's like
comparing apples to
a fruit that nobody wants.
[stinger snaps,
girls screams, thud]
Ms. Wall You there,
get off the floor.
Jake Wow, is it
nap time already?
Hayley Ah, must be.
Ha ha ha.
Ha ha.
Hayley Yeah, ha ha.
Jake Shh, nap time.
No talking.
You don't want
to got to detention.
Hayley Uh-ahh.
Ms. Wall Nap time?
Sleeping in the hallways.
This is outrageous.
Well according to
acting principal Stockley,
teens are notoriously
sleep deprived
so he's instituted
a mandatory nap time.
Jake Yes, wherever
you are at12:42
you must lie down for 20 minutes
and catch a few zzz's.
You'll wake up feeling
like a brand new you.
I'm hoping that by
the time you wake up,
you'll have a brand
new principal.
Jake Well, I think
we've got all the discs.
Good, as they're in
the dark, they'll be safe.
[stinger snaps, thud]
Hayley The Anita Garcia.
Jake The Oculypse.
I think the sound
came from Mr. Shapkin's
History of Dead Languages class.
The Oculypse could paralyze
them all and we'd never know.
You call this acceptable?
It's a floor.
I like Spanish tile,
but what can I do?
There were students sleeping
on this floor a minute ago?
Oh, that's probably Mr.
Shapkin's Dead Languages class.
Are you mocking me?
And what is with this jumpsuit?
If I were you, I would watch
my step very carefully.
[machine whirs]
I'm watching you.
[machine whirs]
I'm not doing
this to mock you.
Ms. Wall No one takes the
job of education seriously.
Hmm
Oh, perfect example.
Flying discs in the hallway.
This is not a place
of fun or excitement.
This is school.
Jake You know, when
the Oculypse ran into
the boys locker room, I didn't
think you would follow it.
Jake, I am a monster
hunter first
and a lady second, all right.
I'm just glad we caught
this thing in the towel bin
before Big Alfonso
got out of the shower.
[Oculypse snarls]
[whack]
Aii!
This is one
foul-smelling monster.
I don't think
it's the monster.
Uh-oh.
Hayley No, no, no.
Please, no.
The acid pods are gone.
If these are
exposed to light,
all the pods together could
cause a chain reaction
that would cause the school
to dissolve, Jake.
Really?
We have to stop it.
Yeah, right.
[Oculypse snarls]
So, here's what we can do.
We'll go from class to class
pretending to be exterminators
and making people wait outside.
We'll need chemical tanks,
disguises and a license.
We could pull the fire alarm.
Hayley, I'm trying
to concentrate.
We may also need
a truck, and bugs.
Ha, hundreds of
thousands of bugs.
[machine whirs]
Felix, make it stop!
Felix I think I got it.
[Stockley groans]
Felix, what's going on?
Talk to me.
The battery is running
out of power, sir.
Well, get a new one.
Oh, I'm gonna puke.
Ms. Wall Mr. Stockley,
you have been in charge
of this school for
exactly six hours.
During that time, the
truancy rate has quadrupled,
the was a sulfur stench
permeating the halls,
someone is stealing towels
from the boys locker room
and your students are
napping on the floor.
Hear me out, I can explain.
Ms. Wall Fine, go ahead.
I can't explain.
I'm sorry.
I'm afraid you leave me
no choice but to recommend
to the board that you be removed
at Acting Principal.
But you can't do that,
I just got started.
You've got to give me a chance.
I don't have
to give you a thing!
You're obviously not taking
any of this very seriously.
That's not true.
Good bye, Mr. Stockley.
Do what you want.
But you and I both know
Lakewood High is not a disaster.
[fire alarm bell rings]
FIRE!
Jake Great idea
pulling the fire alarm.
Hey, everyone will be able
to get out of danger and we'll
have enough time to evacuate the
paralyzed kids from music class.
Stockley Felix, fix this.
The power's fading.
It's not responding
to any of my commands.
Hayley Mr. Stockley,
we captured the Oculypse.
The pods were stolen.
They're no longer being
protected from light
and they could blow
at any second.
My first day as principal
and I blow up the whole school.
I knew that I wasn't up to this.
Hayley Felix, we could try
to locate the pods by tracking
the sulfur emissions in school.
Good idea, Hayley.
[detector beeps]
Oh, major emissions
from the cafeteria.
Jake The pods?
No.
It's just fish stick day.
No, wait, wait, wait
from the teachers lounge.
They're all in the
teachers lounge.
And there are a lot
of them, together.
If one explodes, they all
explode into one massive
acid school-dissolving
conflagration.
All right, Jake,
you go get those pods.
Felix and Hayley,
get the paralyzed kids
out of the school.
We've got to get serious here.
Ms. Wall He certainly
looks calm.
Felix Ahh, calm is
one way to describe it.
The man risks this life,
dances for the students
during a gas leak.
I'd say he's probably
the bravest man I know,
Ms. Wall.
I'm afraid you kids need
to get out of here right now.
Jake and Hayley But
I said now.
Firefighter Excuse me, folks,
let's clear this corridor now.
Ms. Wall You too.
Oh, I'm sorry, I've got
to stay with Mr. Stockley.
I'm his assistant.
Go ahead, Felix.
You heard her.
What?
I'll be okay.
I'm heading to
the teachers lounge!
Ms. Wall You too,
Mr. Stockley.
Ms. Wall, I'm a principal
and if any of my students
are in danger
I stay.
But
Now if you'll excuse me,
I have a gas leak to find.
[machine whirs]
Huff!
Do you guys
think he'll be okay?
It doesn't look good.
I think I got him
in the teacher's lounge but
he's paralyzed in his suit.
It could run out of
power any second.
And he's headed towards
a pile of exploding acid pods.
[pods gurgle]
[electrical zaps, thud]
Stockley Sunlight from window
is going to set those pods off.
Mustcontainexplosion.
That's it.
If ever this school
needed a principal, it's now.
[pods gurgle]
[groans]
Paralysis
wearing off.
[pods gurgle]
[pods gurgle]
[clatter]
[pods sizzle]
[groans]
Ha ha ha!
I did it!
Oh!
[crash]
Jake Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?
Mr. Stockley's hurt or worse?
No, that Sara Snodgrass
isn't out of my league.
Jake, could you stop it with
this Sara Snodgrass thing?
I just want to know
why you think
I'm not good enough for her.
It's cruel to just dismiss
someone like that.
I said you're
different league.
You're a much better
person than her, Jake.
Oh, so she's
not in my league?
No.
So who's in my league?
[boom]
[students gasp]
Felix Oh no!
Mr. Stockley!
[students murmur]
He's gone.
No, wait!
[students cough]
[applause]
[loud applause]
Jake Oh, Mr. Stockley,
you're okay.
It's so good to have you back.
It's good to be back.
I'm grateful to be alive
but mostly I'm grateful
I can finally take off
this stupid outfit.
Ms. Wall You are
a hero, Mr. Stockley.
I have never seen such
dedication from an educator
to his students.
I guess I am a pretty
good principal, after all.
I'm going to recommend
you for the highest honor
that the Board of Education
has to give: a 30 percent-off
gift certificate
to the Yogurt Kingdom.
Ms. Wall, I'm honored.
Mr. Stockley, do you
want me to snark them all?
Yes.
But not her, not till
I get my yogurt.
Being principal does
have its privileges.