Leave It to Beaver (1957) s01e27 Episode Script

1
("Leave it to Beaver" theme music)
[Announcer] "Leave It to Beaver,"
(bright upbeat music)
Starring Barbara Billingsley, Hugh Beaumont, Tony Dow,
and Jerry Mathers as The Beaver.
You let some girl get her hooks on ya,
and you're dead.
(boys laughing)
Come on, fellas.
Wally?
What do you want, Beav?
You don't like that Mary Ellen, huh?
Nah, she's too stuck-up.
She thinks she's pretty.
But she is pretty.
Yeah, but she doesn't have to act like she is.
(audience laughing)
(warm music)
(playful upbeat music)
Hey, Wally, I said keep stirring the beans
or they'll stick to the pot!
Okay, Dad, but I think they're stuck already.
Well, just stir 'em.
Oh, Beaver, I said fill the water glasses, Son,
not the tray!
Wally said (mumbles), it's kinda loose.
Ah!
- Hey, Dad?
- Yeah?
What time is Mom gettin' home?
Well, she should be home by now.
She went to that meeting at your school. (Groans)
Oh, here, Beaver, you better get the butter out.
Go ahead, Son, get the butter out.
You know, Dad, eatin' dinner's sure a lot easier
than cookin' it.
Yeah, when we started, you said there was nothin' to it.
Beaver, I thought I told you to get the butter out.
Yes, Dad.
Now, let's see.
Well!
Hello, everybody.
Hi! (Laughs)
[June] How we doin'?
Oh, just fine, just fine.
Good!
Oh, too well-done.
Beans are sticking.
(audience laughing)
Hello, dear.
- Hi.
Oh, Beaver, honey, not length-wise!
(audience laughing)
What a mess!
Beav, why don't you and Wally put the glasses on the table?
Okay, Mom.
Oh, everything was going just fine, June. (Laughs)
Hey, Dad, how's your burned finger?
(audience laughing)
Wally, you better get that water on the table.
(audience laughing)
Well, how was the meeting?
Oh, fine.
Mrs. Delaney made quite a speech.
Seems there's a lack of social awareness
in the eighth grade.
Such as?
Such as the boys aren't as aware of the girls
as the girls are aware of the boys.
(audience laughing)
Oh.
Well, I don't believe I achieved the full power
of my awareness until I was in high school.
(audience laughing)
What did Ms. Delaney suggest?
Well, they've got an eighth grade dance
planned for this Saturday night.
They put me on the committee.
You know, that's funny.
Wally hasn't mentioned the dance, has he?
Hope his gray suit still fits him.
Oh, you got the water on the table, boys?
No, Dad, we put it in the glasses.
(audience laughing)
Hey, Wally, your mother was just telling me
there's a dance at school.
Yeah, I know.
Who you gonna take?
Take?
Yeah, take.
You're surely not going to a dance alone.
Oh, of course not, Dad.
I'm going with Eddie Haskell.
(audience laughing)
Well, I believe the idea of this dance
was to get the boys and the girls together.
Gee, no foolin', Dad?
(audience laughing)
(bright playful music)
I hope it doesn't turn out like Christine's party.
The boys all just stood around,
and we had to dance with ourselves.
Well, my mother says that it's because some boys
are just shy with girls.
You suppose they're as scared of us as we are of them?
(girls laughing)
(boys chattering)
Boy, the team sure does look good this year.
- Yeah!
- Hi, Wally.
- Oh, hi, girls.
- Hi, girls.
Hi, men.
(boys laughing)
You know, I might just go with Wally Cleaver.
Like fun you will.
He's not taking a girl.
He's told everyone he's going with Eddie Haskell.
You just wait and see.
(bright upbeat music)
Hurry up, boys, it's after eight!
They're getting a late start for school, aren't they?
I had to send them back upstairs.
We had a little sock problem.
Sock?
Beaver wasn't wearing any,
and Wally had on a pair of yours.
Oh. (Audience laughing)
Now, how could Wally wear
Folded the toe back.
(audience laughing)
Well, you've had three days now for some gentle hints.
How you coming along with Wally's date for Saturday night?
Well, quite a few of the mothers have called up
to see if Wally would go with their daughters.
Yeah, was he impressed?
Uh-uh.
First two girls I mentioned, he made a face,
and the third one he said, "Are you kiddin'?"
(audience laughing)
(chuckles) Well, here they come.
Why don't you try another one?
I'm okay now, Mom.
I've got on a pair of my own.
So long, Dad.
So long, Son.
Oh, Wally,
did you put the socks where I can find them?
Oh, sure, Dad, they're right up on the hall table.
(audience laughing)
Couldn't possibly miss 'em there.
(audience laughing)
Wally!
Wally, do you know who I ran into in the market yesterday?
- Uh-uh.
- Mrs. Sutton.
She has a daughter in your class, and she was saying
I told you before, Mom, I'm going with Eddie Haskell.
So long.
(audience laughing)
(laughs) Well, now, I wouldn't be discouraged, dear.
I think there's real hope for him.
After all, he didn't make a face this time.
(audience laughing)
(June and Ward laughing)
I got socks on now, Mom.
Hey, that's some hairdo you got there, Beav.
(audience laughing)
Yeah, I'm eatin' in the cafeteria with a new friend.
Well, that's nice, Beaver.
Must be some special friend to get all spruced up.
(audience laughing)
Well, you won't tell Wally, will ya?
Of course not, Beav.
Well, it's Mary Ellen Rogers.
We eated together for three days now.
Well, I gotta get going.
Don't tell Wally, 'cause we're both supposed to hate girls.
Oh, sure, Beav.
Well, bye, Mom, bye, Dad.
[June] Bye!
(door slams)
How do you like that little character?
Sounds like he's got a girl.
Ward, you know Mary Ellen Rogers.
Why, she must be 13 years old!
Oh, Harry's daughter?
Uh-huh, but she's in Wally's class!
Well, I wouldn't worry about The Beaver.
This sort of thing's happened before, you know.
I understand Josephine was eight years older than Napoleon.
(audience laughing)
(playful upbeat music)
There you are!
I saved you a pear.
It's kinda squashed on one side.
(audience laughing)
Oh, well, no, thank you, Beaver.
Hey, Mary Ellen, tomorrow's Saturday.
Can I come over in the morning
and run your father's electric trains again?
Well, I don't know, Beaver.
I think my mother was sort of mad yesterday.
On account of the engine goin' off the tracks?
No.
She doesn't like me to have a boy over by myself.
Oh.
It might be all right, though, if you brought somebody.
Oh, sure.
I'll bring my friend, Larry Mondello.
Well, I mean a bigger person.
Gee, Larry weighs 145 pounds!
(audience laughing)
I was thinking of an older person.
Well, well, like your brother, Wally!
I don't think he'd come, he hates girls.
(audience laughing)
Well then, I'm very sorry, Beaver,
but you'd better not come over.
Well, I can at least ask him.
I don't know if he ever knew a girl
with electric trains before.
(audience laughing)
Well, you let me know.
(bright upbeat music)
Good morning.
I'm sorry, dear, I guess I kind of overslept this morning.
Well, that's all right, dear.
I'll just run your coffee through the grounds again.
(audience laughing)
Thank you, I'll take it the way it is.
(audience laughing)
Well, this is the day of the big dance, isn't it?
Uh-huh, finally talked Wally into wearing his gray suit.
He wanted to go in a turtleneck sweater.
(audience laughing)
How 'bout Beaver and his December in May romance?
Anything more on that?
No, but something seemed to be upsetting him this morning.
Hardly touched his breakfast.
Well, if he's gonna be interested in women,
he'll have to get used to a certain amount of misery.
(audience laughing)
Now, how many women have ever made you miserable?
(laughs) Well.
Now, June, you don't expect me to answer
a question like that.
(audience laughing)
Sit down, dear, I'll bring you some toast.
(audience laughing)
Ward.
[Ward] Mm-hmm?
Do you know who I think Wally's going to dance with?
Eddie Haskell.
I don't think so.
I'll just bet you anything that he ends up
going with Mary Ellen Rogers.
Why?
I don't know, I just got a feeling.
Maybe it's because her mother drives that Jaguar.
(audience laughing) (bright upbeat music)
(playful upbeat music)
Hey, Beav, it'll go on easier if you stand up.
I think I'd try it this way.
I never heard of anybody gettin' dressed
sittin' in a chair before.
Why stand up to do somethin' you can do sittin' down?
(audience laughing)
Whatcha gonna do today, Wally?
Well, I was gonna mess around with Chester and Eddie,
but Chester got a sore throat,
so I guess I'll just mess around with Eddie.
You always mess around with those guys.
I think you'd like to mess around with some other guys.
Yeah, like who?
Like Mary Ellen Rogers.
(audience laughing)
Why would I wanna mess around with her?
'Cause her father's got electric trains.
(audience laughing)
No foolin'?
What kinda electric trains?
A whole big set!
Is that why you've been talkin' to Mary Ellen
in the cafeteria?
Yeah, I've been over to her house.
I even jumped a train right off the track.
(audience laughing)
Well, electric trains are okay, Beaver,
but, well, Mary Ellen's a girl.
How could you run an electric train with a girl?
She's really not so much like a girl.
She can make a muscle and everything!
(audience laughing)
Yeah, but still.
Why don't you come over with me, Wally?
And we could both have fun runnin' the electric trains.
Yeah, but Mary Ellen will still be there.
She'll probably be up washin' her hair, or somethin'.
Why don't you come with me, Wally?
They're real neat trains.
They are, huh?
They sure are!
Well, maybe I will.
Then I can mess around with Eddie tonight at the dance.
Sure you can!
(playful pensive music)
I'm sorry, Eddie, I don't know where Wally went.
He went off some place with The Beaver.
Well, you just have to mess around with someone else today.
(audience laughing)
What?
No, I'm sorry, Eddie, but Wally is not wearing
his turtleneck sweater to the dance tonight.
(audience laughing)
Well, thank you, Eddie, it's nice to talk to you too.
(audience laughing)
Goodbye.
June, where are the boys?
I wanna find out which one of 'em
used my hedge clippers to cut tar paper with.
Well, they went out, and, well, I guess I did it.
(audience laughing)
You used my hedge clippers to cut tar paper with?
Well, I was lining the window boxes
and, well, the clippers got so gummed up,
they wouldn't cut anything!
June, you
(Ward stammers)
(audience laughing)
(Ward sighs deeply)
(June and Ward laugh softly)
Boys are out, huh?
Uh-huh, they went out about a half an hour ago.
They both left here with their hair combed.
I don't know why that bothers me, but it does.
(audience laughing) (bright warm music)
(lively music)
They're real neat, aren't they, Wally?
Boy, they sure are!
Your father must be okay, Mary Ellen.
Yeah, and he's hardly ever around.
(audience laughing)
(toy trains chugging)
(toy train horn tooting)
Aren't we gonna run the electric trains no more?
Well, I thought we could all have
some ginger ale, or something.
That's okay with me.
Me too!
Beaver, why don't you get it?
There's a lot of stuff in the ice box.
Me?
Would you please, Beaver?
Okay.
(audience laughing)
(bright playful music)
This is a nice room.
Oh.
Thank you.
(warm pensive music)
(audience laughing)
(loud clanging)
(audience laughing)
We're gonna get algebra next year.
You think you're gonna like it?
Oh, I don't know.
All those silly Xs and Ys.
(audience laughing)
Yeah.
But I'm gonna take it, though,
'cause I'm gonna be an engineer,
and my dad says you can't count on your fingers.
(audience laughing)
An engineer, my!
Yeah.
(audience laughing)
Wally, you've got curly hair.
Well, I put junk on it, but what can you do?
Yeah.
(audience laughing)
Are you going to that dance tonight?
Well, yeah, my mom's kinda makin' me.
I think she's on the committee, or somethin'.
(audience laughing)
Oh, I wouldn't go at all, but if I don't,
well, the other girls will think I'm stuck up.
You mean you don't wanna go much either?
Oh, no!
And I think it's awful the way some of these girls,
like Kathleen and Francis, will just do anything
to get a boy to take them.
(audience laughing)
Aren't you goin' with a boy?
Oh, no, I wouldn't go at all,
except, well, you know how it is.
Yeah, I wouldn't go either,
but my mom's on the committee, or somethin'.
(audience laughing)
You know, Wally, I was just thinking,
you're going to have to go,
and well, I'm going to have to go.
Maybe
- Wally, Wally!
(audience laughing)
Found some doughnuts.
Hey, great, Beav!
(audience laughing)
How come you guys stopped talkin' when I come in?
(audience laughing)
Did we?
Yeah.
How come you're not runnin' the electric trains?
Well, Beaver,
Beaver, I thought you were going to get us some ginger ale.
Oh, yeah, I guess I forgot.
When I come back, we can run the electric trains.
(audience laughing)
Well, what'd ya think, Wally?
Huh?
Oh, they're real good doughnuts.
(audience laughing)
Well, I mean about the dance.
I mean, after all, it looks like we're both
going to have to go, even though neither one of us
is going to like it, and I was just thinking,
maybe we could go together.
Well, why would we do that for?
(audience laughing)
Well, if you don't like something,
it's always good to have someone with you
not to like it with,
if you know what I mean.
Oh, sure, like up at Scout camp,
when it's your turn to bury the garbage,
they always let you do it in pairs.
(audience laughing)
Then you think I'm right about the dance?
Well, I guess so.
I found the ginger ale.
Oh, thank you, Beaver.
I put ice in it and everything.
You stopped talkin' again.
(audience laughing)
Beaver, why don't you go out
and have yours in the kitchen?
(audience laughing)
Why?
I wanna have it with you guys.
Well, Wally and I are talking about something important,
aren't we, Wally?
Uh, yeah, I guess so.
(audience laughing)
Oh.
I think I'll drink my ginger ale and then I'll go home.
Will you be comin' then, Wally?
Well
Oh, he'll be along later, Beaver.
Yeah, I guess I'll be along later.
Oh, yeah.
Well, so long.
Hey, Wally.
Yeah?
(Beaver groans playfully)
(audience laughing)
What did he do that for?
I don't know, kids are always doin' somethin' goofy.
(audience laughing)
(warm upbeat music)
Hi, Dad.
Hi, Beav.
Whatcha doin' there?
Cleaning the tar off these hedge clippers.
How did it get there?
Your mother cut tar paper with 'em.
(audience laughing)
Aren't you supposed to cut hedges with 'em?
That's right.
Then how come Mom cut tar paper with 'em?
(audience laughing)
Well, Beaver, that's one of the things
that's not given to us to understand about women.
(audience laughing)
You know a lot about women, don't you, Dad?
(laughs) Yeah, I guess so.
(audience laughing)
Dad, cowboys and Indians,
there's good guys and bad guys, isn't there?
[Ward] Mm-hmm.
Is it the same with women?
Yeah, Beaver, I guess you could say
there's good ones and bad ones.
Do you know Mary Ellen Rogers?
Yeah, I've seen her.
Do you think she's a good one or a bad one?
(audience laughing)
Well, now, Beaver, why would you ask a question like that?
I thought Mary Ellen was a good friend of yours.
So did I, but I brought Wally over there,
and they both looked at each other,
then they told me to drink my ginger ale in the kitchen.
Uh-huh.
Well, Beaver, I'm afraid Mary Ellen
may have just got friendly with you
so she could get Wally to take her to the dance tonight.
I'm afraid so too.
You know, I think you learned quite a lot
about women today.
You can count yourself fortunate
you learned with something as inexpensive as ginger ale.
(audience laughing)
You know, Dad, now it's all over with,
I feel kinda silly.
Well, Beaver, I'll tell you something about women.
They have a wonderful capacity for love and understanding.
Their tenderness and their sweetness are all-encompassing,
but at times, they do have a knack of making us men
look very, very silly.
(audience laughing)
I heard that, Ward Cleaver.
(audience laughing)
Oh, hi, Mom.
Yeah, hi, Mom.
(audience laughing)
Hi.
Ward, you ought to be ashamed of yourself,
putting ideas like that in The Beaver's mind.
Oh, yeah?
Do you know what Mary Ellen Rogers did?
She used The Beaver in order to get Wally
to take her to the dance tonight.
And don't look so shocked
because it's exactly what you predicted she'd do.
I'm not shocked!
As a woman, I'm very proud of Mary Ellen.
You mean you think women should act this way?
It's the way women have to act!
Well, if we sat around and waited until you men
got interested in us, and got good and ready to settle down
and have families, why, this whole continent of America
would be nothing but buffaloes, jack rabbits,
and grizzly bears!
(audience laughing)
Now, look, June
Now, I'm gonna go up and I'm gonna lay out.
Wally's gray suit.
You call the florist and you
order a corsage for Mary Ellen.
[Ward] Yes, dear.
(audience laughing)
Did you win, Dad?
(audience laughing)
Well, Beaver, sometimes, I'm not sure
whether us men are ever supposed to win.
(audience laughing)
You understand any of this, Beaver?
Not 'xactly.
But I think beginning Monday,
I'll start eatin' with my friend Larry Mondello again.
(bright upbeat music)
(warm upbeat music)
(Ward laughs softly)
Dad is waiting in the car, Mr. Cleaver.
Oh, good, good!
Wally'll be down in a minute, Mary Ellen.
Oh.
My, you look nice!
Oh, thank you!
I hope the corsage was all right.
Oh, yes!
Wally has wonderful taste!
(audience laughing)
(Ward chuckles)
Well!
Hello, Wally.
Hi.
(audience laughing)
Wally, aren't you gonna tell Mary Ellen
how nice she looks?
Gee, Mom, I was gonna tell her that when we got outside.
(audience laughing)
Well.
Yeah, yeah, well!
(audience laughing)
Have a good time, kids.
[Mary Ellen] Good night.
- Yeah.
- Good night!
Oh, say, Wally!
Have a good time, Wally.
Yeah, sure, Dad, good night.
(audience laughing)
(Ward chuckles)
(audience laughing)
Well, Beaver, you didn't even speak to Mary Ellen.
You're not still mad at her, are ya?
Not exactly.
I just didn't want to let her know I knew she was there.
(audience laughing)
Good night!
(Ward mumbles)
(bright music)
(audience laughing)
(warm upbeat music)
(triumphant music)