The Andy Griffith Show (1960) s01e28 Episode Script

( whistling sprightly tune)
Starring Andy Griffith
with Ronny Howard.
Also starring Don Knotts.
What you looking for?
Some new citation pads.
Huh.
Here's one.
Did you fill up that
other book already?
Yeah.
Well, you must
have been giving out
a mess of tickets.
Let me see that thing.
No.
What did you do that for?
What?
You put the citation
pad in your hat.
I know.
Well, it's just carbons.
Why don't you file it?
I will later, when
I get the time.
You're not doing
anything right now.
Is there, uh, something on the
pad you don't want me to see?
No.
Well, let me see it, then.
No no, Andy, don't.
Don't, please.
Don't, don't touch my hat.
Well, why not?
Well, I, I just don't like
people touching
my hat, that's all.
You don't? No, I don't.
I'm like my mother.
She don't like people
touching her hat either.
( laughing)
What's funny?
Oh, nothing I
was just picturing
you and your mother
setting around the house
with your hats pulled
down over your ears.
Now, Andy, don't you
start in on my mother.
I'm not starting
in on your mother.
It's just a funny picture
You and your
mother with your hats.
All right, all right.
All I wanted to do
was see your pad.
All right, you can see the pad,
but you leave my
mother out of this.
All right, I will.
Ah uh, let me see this thing.
Everything appears
to be in order.
Uh, well, uh, this
this here don't look
like a citation at all.
"Juanita"
Uh, let me just file that.
No, wait, wait, wait, wait.
"Juanita Beasley"
No, I'll file that, Andy.
Wait a minute, wait, wait.
"Juanita Beasley,
phone 1-4-2-R."
Let me just file it.
Wait, now.
Juanita Beasley.
Ain't, uh ain't she
the new waitress
over at the Junction Cafe,
where the truck drivers stop?
Yeah, th-that's the one.
Is there, is there
something going on
'tween you and Juanita?
Oh, no, no.
It's just that, uh
well, she works in a place
where a lot of pretty
tough characters stop in,
so I told her
if there was ever
any trouble to
to call me.
Oh, she could call you?
Well, uh
what are you doing
with her phone number?
Well, uh, I call out
there every now and then
and sort of
"trouble-check."
Trouble-check, huh?
Well, uh, when did
you trouble-check last?
Yesterday.
You didn't trouble-check today?
No.
Well, golly!
Let's trouble-check.
You can't tell
what kind of trouble
they got out there.
Sarah?
Uh, get me 1-4-2-R,
and put this right through.
This is a trouble-check.
Hello, uh, Miss Beasley?
Uh, this is, uh, Deputy Fife.
( clears throat)
( softly): Barney.
( louder): I'm just, uh, making
my regular trouble-check.
Trouble-check.
( softly): No, I
can't talk right now.
I'm on duty, and the
sheriff's right here.
( louder): Uh, is
there any trouble?
Oh, well, that's that's good.
( chuckling)
No trouble out there now.
S'all quiet.
Yeah.
Well, life ain't all police
work, you know, Andy.
Oh, oh I know.
I just didn't think you knew.
Hello, Andy, Barney.
Oh, howdy, Ben.
Ben. What can I do for you?
Well, uh, I got
a little business
I want you to take care of.
Sure thing, Ben. What is it?
I want you to serve
a foreclosure notice
on the Scobees.
A foreclosure notice?
That's right.
As the mortgagor
I'm exercising my legal rights
against the mortgagee,
who's in default.
And you want to foreclose
against the Scobees?
Ben, I-I-I can't
hardly believe it.
I ain't asking
you to believe it.
I'm asking you to do it.
Well, Ben, the
Scobees are nice folks.
Well, everybody knows you're
a fair-minded, reasonable man.
Why don't you think it over?
I don't want to think it over.
I want to foreclose.
But but, Ben
Now, look here just a minute.
One of the duties of this office
is to serve foreclosure
notices, ain't it?
Well, yeah
Well, then, foreclose.
Well, Ben, it'll it'll
take me a little while
to get the papers together.
All right.
I'll be back.
Now, there's a man
that's got everything.
He's not only got all
the money in town,
he's got all the meanness, too.
Andy, what are them
poor Scobees going to do?
Well, I've heard the
mortgagor's side of it.
I'll just go out there
and see what the mortgagee's
got to say for himself.
Howdy, Lester.
Oh, hi, Andy. Come
on in the house.
Hey, fixing a chair, are you?
Yep.
Hey, Mary.
Hello, Sheriff.
Wait a minute
open that mouth.
Open that mouth.
Lost another tooth, didn't you?
You keep losing teeth
like that, your mama's going
to have to soak your
cornbread in buttermilk.
I guess.
Opie, he's losing
teeth, too, you know.
I know everybody
in school laughs at us.
Well, you let them laugh,
'cause when you grow up
you're going to be
the prettiest girl in town
with or without teeth.
Mary, honey,
why don't you go tell your ma
the sheriff's here?
Yes, Paw.
Ask her to bring some coffee.
Well, Sheriff?
Yeah, they
they're moving in
on you, huh, Lester?
Yep.
I don't know what
the answer is, Sheriff.
Old Ben's kind of set
in his ways, ain't he?
In all the time
we've had this place
I've never missed a payment.
This is the first time.
Any chance you
might come up with it?
Well, not right away.
I've been going
through a little bad times.
WOMAN: Here's the coffee.
Come on, let's have some coffee.
Fine.
I been doing some odd-jobbing
and Helen's been
taking in a little ironing,
but I just couldn't seem
to make it this month.
Howdy, Helen.
Hi, Andy.
Sit down, sit down.
Okay.
You'd think Mr. Weaver'd have
a little more
patience, wouldn't you.
Les has been trying
and this is the first that
LESTER: Honey, I've
told the sheriff all that.
Daddy, can I have a cookie?
Sure, honey.
You better get your mama
to soak them a little bit.
You're going to
bruise your gums.
( laughing)
I'll chew it in the back.
SHERIFF: Let me, let me see.
Yeah, I guess that'll work.
What's the payment, Lester?
Huh?
What do you owe Ben?
$52.50.
Did you try over at the mill?
Yeah. I tried the mill
and the furniture factory, too.
They don't have
anything right now.
They'll be putting people on
pretty soon, though.
What are you
going to do, Sheriff?
You going to have to
serve the paper on us?
Oh, no, I won't do that
right now.
I'll go back to town and
have a talk with Ben,
see if we can't
work something out.
First, though, I
want to drink me
a little bit of
this good coffee.
Me and you will gum
us another cookie.
You want to?
( laughing)
$40, $45, $50, $51, $52
and
$52.50 That's it.
Oh, good, that's fine.
Now, now, this is just
'tween me and you.
This is our secret, right?
Mm. Mum's the word.
Well, Ben, got good news for ya.
What's that?
Well, you won't have to go
to all the trouble
of foreclosing.
Lester Scobee just
come up with the payment.
And right there it is $52.50.
No, sir, I can't take it.
Why not, Ben?
Have a change of heart?
No, I'm just living up to
the letter of the contract.
Huh?
According to this
mortgage contract,
if Scobee misses a payment,
the entire balance falls due.
Now, the balance
on his house is $780,
so that's how much he
owes me immediate.
Well, you know Lester
ain't got that kind of money.
You wouldn't be
a-wantin' that land
for that warehouse you
been talking about, would you?
Sheriff, I got important
friends in this county.
If you don't serve
that paper right away,
I might turn this jail
into a warehouse!
Barney, what are you doing?
I'm starting a "Save
the Scobee House" fund,
that's what I'm doing.
That ought to
start the ball rolling.
That's a fine idea.
I got more.
Good, good!
That ain't all.
Oh, Barney, that's
a great idea
"Save the Scobee House" fund.
And I ain't going
to stop here neither.
I'm going to go
all around town
The drugstore, the barber
shop, the hotel, everywhere.
We'll get that $780 somehow.
That's a great idea, Barney.
I'll go over to the library
and get a book
on real estate law
and see if I can figure
some ways to stall old Ben.
I'll see you later.
Go get 'em, tiger.
Hi, Barney.
Just leave your money with Andy.
What's he talking
about? What money?
Oh, we got to raise $780.
Oh, my goodness! $780?!
Yeah.
Hey, I got a outstanding idea.
You remember the
rummage sale that you had
for the ladies' auxiliary?
Why, why, you raised enough
to buy a P.A.
system for the school.
It was very successful.
Well, let's have another one.
We got a lot of
stuff in our garage
Tha-that old refrigerator
with the broken handle.
The Wilsons bought
a new lawnmower.
We can get the old one, the
one you're always borrowing.
Yeah, and-and I can get Herb
Crowley's old porch furniture.
I'll form a rummage committee
and we'll march
through the town Do that.
And we'll pick up every
toaster, every lamp. Yeah.
Every waffle iron,
every vacuum cleaner.
Oh, boy. We-we could make this
the finest rummage sale
Mayberry's ever seen.
And for a worthy cause.
Now you're rolling, Aunt Bee.
I'll see you later. I
got to go to the library.
What worthy cause?
( door opens)
Andy
what do you think
you're trying to pull?
Well, how's that, Ben?
I just come from the Scobees
and you still ain't
served that notice.
Now, you know what the
penalty is for obstructing the law.
Where's that foreclosure notice?
Why, it's right here, Ben.
Well, why ain't you served it?
You wouldn't want
me to do anything
to violate the law, would you?
What are you getting at?
Well, according to the law,
before that notice can
be served proper-like,
why, a registration fee
of two dollars
has got to be paid.
And, Ben, you neglected
to pay me that two dollars.
Why didn't you tell me?
Well, you didn't ask me.
Here.
Here's your two dollars.
Now, I want that notice served
and I want them
Scobees off my property
in 24 hours, you hear?
Oh, and another thing, Sheriff,
I know all about the money
you're trying to raise
to save the Scobees.
And you'd like to
make a contribution.
How much should I
put you down for, Ben?
24 hours.
So, you see, what
we're trying to do
is just stall long enough
till we can raise the money.
Well, that's mighty
nice of you, Andy,
but I don't think
it'll do any good.
Well, why not?
All we need's just
a little more time.
Thanks for being
so helpful, Andy.
Well, you might as well
give us that
foreclosure notice now.
Lester, I don't want to
do that. Let's wait a while.
Helen, you seen
my glasses around?
Can't read a thing
without my glasses.
What'd you say?
Said I can't read a
thing without my glasses.
HELEN: Well, maybe
they're in the living room, dear.
LESTER: I'll take a look.
No, they ain't in there.
Well, I'm sure they'll turn up.
But 'til they do
I 'spect Helen's
going to be too busy
ironing and housewifing
to stop all that important work
just to read you
a foreclosure notice.
Huh?
What are you
talking about, Andy?
Let me explain a fine
point of the law to you.
See, it ain't enough
that a notice be delivered,
but the party getting it
has got to fully understand
every paragraph in it.
And if he don't
that constitutes a
lack of communication.
And, legally,
that's just the same
as if the party never got
the notice in the first place.
I don't get you, Andy.
Well, it comes
down to this, Lester.
You lost your glasses
and you can't read that notice
without your glasses.
Helen here is too
busy to read it to you
and your young'un is too little
to be able to read
all that legal stuff
and I can't foreclose.
Well, Andy, you-you
think that'll work?
Lester, I believe we got her
if she don't jump.
( laughing)
I'll see ya.
( humming) ( door opens)
Oh, hi, Ope.
Hi, Paw. I brought something.
What you got there?
Well, I got some
mighty valuable stuff
for the rummage sale.
Well, it's nice of
you to help out.
Well, that's a fine-looking
pair of sunglasses,
but you don't have but one lens.
They work real good
if you keep this eye shut.
I got to go along with that.
Huh.
I got a, I got a feeling that,
uh, this is a roller skate.
All it needs is
wheels and a strap,
and it'll be as good as new.
New frame wouldn't
hurt it none, either. Huh.
Opie, this is quite a sacrifice.
It's mighty generous of
you, and I appreciate it.
Like I said, Paw, this
is mighty valuable stuff.
Should bring at least 35 cents.
You know, it wouldn't
surprise me a bit
if it brought at least 40 cents.
Much obliged I'll see you.
( cash register dings)
( indistinct conversations)
Now, Bertha, this
toaster's not exactly new,
but it's in excellent condition.
Now, any time you want to get
any shade of toast you want to,
just turn that button.
And when you want to take it
out, you just push that down.
I know all about
that toaster, Bee.
Remember, I was
the one who donated it.
Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
Have you noticed the
fine lines on this garment?
Uh, you know, Bill, this,
uh, this coat ain't local stuff.
No, no, this, uh, this
coat was imported
from Richmond.
Now, just take a look
at this luxurious lining.
It's the outside of a coat
that counts, you know.
Well, evening.
Oh, evening, Andy.
It sure is a mighty fine thing
you're doing for the Scobees.
Well, we're trying.
Uh, how much is this?
Oh, about three dollars.
What you suppose it is?
If I knew that,
it'd cost you five.
Sounds like a bargain.
Yeah.
Yeah, one, one of
these is nice to have.
I always wanted one. Yeah.
( cash register dings)
We're doing fine, Barney.
Good.
You figure we got
a chance, Andy?
Well, we got a few runs.
I'd say we're still
in the ball game.
Yeah.
( door opens)
Uh-oh. Looks like the
opposing team just showed up.
Well, howdy, Ben.
Come by to help the
cause a little, did you?
Sheriff, I just come
from the Scobees.
And you know something?
Lester Scobee lost his glasses
and can't read a thing.
Oh, poor, old Lester.
Yeah.
I thought I'd be neighborly
and help him out, so, uh
I read this to him.
Yeah, I read him
every single paragraph.
You might say that I
established communication.
One more trick
like that, Mr. Sheriff,
and you not only
won't have a badge,
you won't have
a shirt to pin it on.
Now, I'm going to be out
at the Scobees at noon tomorrow.
You better be
there to serve this
and get them off my property.
Good luck with
your rummage sale.
You know something, Barney.
When that man's time comes to go
he ain't going to go
like everybody else.
He's just going to nasty away.
Are you going to show up
at the Scobees tomorrow?
I guess I'll have to.
You know, I just can't believe
that anybody could be as mean
as Ben Weaver's making out.
He's sure got me convinced.
Well, maybe he just don't
see how mean he really is.
This is more like it, Andy.
Whatever made you
wake up and do something?
Well, I got to
studying about it, Ben,
and I realized you was right.
Can't have folks
definin' the rules.
Yes, sir
we got the piece of
paper that says "get."
That's what they
got to do get!
Oh, hi, Andy.
All right, Lester,
let's get a move on.
I want the place
vacated right now.
Right now? Yep.
But we ain't ready to move.
No excuses. Let's get
to cutting, right, Ben?
Right.
Well, couldn't you at least
let me try and borrow a trailer?
Well No.
You know these deadbeats
You give them an inch,
they'll take your arm.
Andy, what's got into
you? Why are you
I ain't got time for chitchat.
Now, let's get some
of this stuff together.
Well, I-I guess maybe I
should pack some dishes or
Miss Scobee, I'm a
patient man, but if you think
I'm gonna stand around
while you pack them dishes,
why, you got
another thing coming.
Sheriff, I just
don't understand.
You're turning out to be
as bad as Weaver here.
Why thanks a lot, Scobee.
That's a compliment.
Means I'm doing my
job good and proper,
protecting Mr. Weaver's
rights. Right, Ben?
Well, now, nothing wrong
with letting Mrs. Scobee
pack a few dishes.
Now, Ben, you turn her loose
in that kitchen by herself
and 'fore you know it,
she'll be taking the spickets
right off the wall.
Now, look here, Sheriff.
You can't talk that
way about my wife.
Les, please.
But, honey, they ain't
giving me a chance
Les, uh, let's get a few of
our things together. Uh
We could start
with the cupboard.
But, honey
Uh Oh
Hold it, Scobee.
That cupboard
stays right where it is.
What? What do you mean, Sheriff?
That was my
grandmother's cupboard,
and it means a lot to me.
Anything affixed to real
property, which this is,
becomes a part of that property
and is no longer
personal property.
I reckon Mr. Weaver
can vouch for that.
Well, that's the law, all right,
but, uh, I figure
we can overlook it.
As long as I'm sheriff,
the law will be observed.
I say the cupboard stays.
No. Let her take her cupboard.
Ben, I'm protecting your
rights. The cupboard stays.
I don't care. I say it goes.
( vehemently): Ben,
the cupboard stays.
HELEN ( sobbing): Oh, no, Les.
What are we going to do?
Where are we going to go?
You should have thought of that
before moving into a
place you couldn't afford.
Now, let's get some
of this junk together.
Wait a minute.
Just a doggone minute.
Andy, you just can't
turn a family out
into the street.
Ben, Ben don't
let them get to you.
You can't, but I can.
They'll be all right.
The county will take
care of the young'un.
Lester, he's-he's
a clever fellow.
He'll find some loose boards
and put him up a
shack somewhere.
Is that what's going to happen?
Mm. If it don't get worse.
Worse?
The important thing is
we got to get this
property vacated
and your warehouse
put up in here.
Of course, there's a lot of
places closer to your store,
but that's-that's-that's
beside the point.
This property is
rightfully yours.
Why don't you get the
young'un's toys together?
BEN: Uh, wait, Andy.
This place is rightfully mine,
but I ain't in that
much of a rush.
Too late now, Ben.
The foreclosure's
already been served.
The law must take its course.
Now, look, I started
this foreclosure
and I got the right to stop it.
Now, Ben
And I'm stopping it right now!
Well
if that's the way
you want it, Ben.
Thanks.
Thanks a lot, Andy.
Careful, Ben!
( crash)
Ben, you
you all right?
A person could get
killed in a chair like that.
Where'd you find
that piece of junk?
Says here, "Weaver's
Department Store."
I'll send you out a
new one in the morning.
Well, let's get going.
Uh, Ben, I, I was I
was studying about it.
Uh, why don't we stop
over at Lester Scobee's
and pick him up?
Well, I'd, uh, just as soon
we go without Scobee.
I thought you and Les
had things all patched up.
Well, that don't mean
I got to go fishing with him.
Oh, come on, he's a
pretty good fisherman.
That ain't it.
Well, what is it then?
Well, if you got to
know, I can't spare him.
He's too busy down at the store.
Now, how about that?
Well, how else is he going
to pay off that mortgage?
Now, come on.
Let's go.
Uh, I don't, uh,
I don't believe
I'll go with you.
What?
Well, I, I got some work to
do and a few calls to make.
Oh, come on.
No, really. You-you, go,
you go ahead without me.
Well, all right.
After you make
your calls, though,
how, how 'bout taking
that money we collected
and dropping it off at the
school for the library fund?
Yeah, sure will.
Okay. See you.
Right.
Hello, Sarah?
Uh, get me 1-4-2-R, will you?
Hello, Juanita?
Barn. Yeah.
( chuckles)
Yeah.
What do you mean,
why am I talking so softly?
I always talk softly
to you, Juanita.
( softly chuckles)
Oh, you don't want me
to do that now, do you?
Ah
( chuckles)
Yeah, I'm all alone.
Well, all right.
( clears throat)
Nita ♪
Juanita ♪
Ask thy soul if ♪
Oh, you're funny, aren't you?
Oh, you're real funny.
You ought to get a cane and
a cigar and work at carnivals.