Leave It to Beaver (1957) s01e29 Episode Script

1
("Leave it to Beaver" theme music)
[Announcer] "Leave it to Beaver."
Starring Barbara Billingsley,
Hugh Beaumont, Tony Dow,
and Jerry Mathers as the Beaver.
Boy, it's gonna be real neat, huh Beaver?
Fishin' and campin' and messin' around up in the woods.
Yeah.
We might even find an owl
asleep in a tree, and bring it home.
Why would you wanna bring home an owl?
I don't know.
I'd be the only kid on the block with a real live owl.
Well, if we're lucky we might find an owl.
I sure wish the weekend would get here.
Hi, dear.
Have a good game?
How could you help having a good game on a day like this?
Boy, the air was so clear you could see for miles.
Good, then you didn't lose any golf balls.
Only three.
(audience laughs)
Where are the boys?
Must be outside somewhere.
Kids couldn't resist taking advantage of a day like this.
They're taking advantage of a double feature
at the cartoon parade.
Movies, on a day like this?
I drove 'em down at noon
and I said you'd pick them up at six.
You know somewhere back in history it's rumored
that the Cleavers were related to Johnny Appleseed.
These two characters of ours
can't even walk back and forth to the movies.
Eddie and Chester and Tooey are with 'em.
You're gonna have to drop them off too.
Oh great.
(pleasant music)
Hi, Dad.
I came out to see if you were here.
Oh I've been here for 10 minutes,
and you were supposed to be out here at six o'clock.
Well gee Dad, we would've been here,
but the guys didn't wanna come all the way out
unless they knew you were here.
(audience laughs)
Well you know, sometimes you miss a lot of good stuff
just hangin' around waitin' for ya.
That's too bad.
Well come on, come on, go in there
and get the guys out here now in a hurry ya hear?
Sure, Dad.
(pleasant music)
(audience laughs)
[Beaver] Hi, Dad.
Oh hi, Beaver.
Where are the other boys?
I don't know, I come out to get a chocolate bar
and I thunk I'd see if you was here.
I just sent Wally in to look for you.
Didn't you see him?
Must've gone down the other aisle.
All right, now you stay right here.
I gotta go get my jacket.
All right, all right, get your jacket,
but find Wally and tell him to get on out here in a hurry.
Well, hello Ward.
Hello, Fred.
What ya doin', holding up the building?
(audience laughs)
No, I'm just picking up the boys.
Yeah, I came to pick up my big fella, Clarence.
Oh, how is Lumpy?
Lumpy?
Oh, Clarence is just fine.
Weighs 198 pounds now, all of it solid muscle.
(Ward chuckles)
Hi, Daddy.
(audience laughs)
Well, Clarence, say hello to Mr. Cleaver.
Hello, Mr. Cleaver.
Hello, Clarence.
Gee, Daddy.
You said you'd be here at six.
I came out three times looking for you,
and you weren't here.
Mom said you would be.
Gosh, I missed a lot of cartoons.
Well now Clarence, don't upset yourself.
Daddy will buy you a soda on the way home.
(audience laughs)
So long, Ward.
See you around the salt mines.
Now tell me about the cartoon.
That's a good picture.
(boys chattering)
Hi, Mr. Cleaver.
Oh hi, hi.
Hello, Mr. Cleaver.
Hi.
Sorry to hold you up, but we had to wait
while a kid was hitting Tooey.
That's all right.
He wasn't hittin' me, Mr. Cleaver.
He was just shovin' me around.
Well, well anyway, come on let's get going boys.
Wait a minute, where's the Beaver?
The Beaver?
Yeah, the Beaver!
I just sent him in to look for ya, didn't you see him?
Yeah, we saw him.
Well, didn't he say anything?
Uh-uh, he just sat down
and started watching the cartoon again.
(audience laughs)
I'd go back in and get him, Mr. Cleaver,
but that kid would start hittin' me again.
(audience laughs)
Oh no, no, I think I'd better get him.
Now, don't you fellas go away.
I'll see that they don't, Mr. Cleaver.
Thank you, Eddie.
(audience laughs)
Now you fellas behave yourselves.
Why don't you pull it all the way down?
Helps your looks.
(audience laughs)
Ow, I already got hit there.
All right Eddie, I can do it by myself.
Hi guys!
[Wally] Oh hi, Beav.
Where's Dad?
[Wally] He went in the theater lookin' for you.
Cartoon was over, so I come out.
My mother's gonna be awfully sore if I get home late.
Gee, we can't go without my dad.
What are we gonna do?
Well, let's go back in and look for him.
When we get inside, let's spread out.
We're just gonna go in.
We've been in here before.
(plucky music)
(audience laughs)
Well, where ya been?
Supper's almost ready.
Oh, we had trouble findin' Dad at the movies.
(audience laughs)
Well,
I'll get supper on the table.
You know you wouldn't have had any trouble finding me
if you'd been where you were supposed to be.
Well I'll tell ya one thing, this is the last Saturday
we go through this movie routine.
Gee, Dad.
What's wrong with goin' to the movies?
Wally, do you realize you kids
went in that theater today at noon?
It's now 20 minutes after six.
You spent over six hours today
sitting in that stuffy movie theater.
Yeah, they sure give you a lot
for your 35 cents, don't they?
(audience laughs)
That's not the point I'm making, Beaver.
Look, I should think you boys would wanna be outside today.
Out in the fresh air, where you can breathe.
Gee Dad, we can breathe all week.
We only get to go to the movies on Saturday.
(audience laughs)
Look, Wally.
You don't have to go to the movies every Saturday, do you?
Now look, take today for instance.
Why couldn't you kids have gone over to the athletic field
and played baseball?
Gee Dad, they put up a fence.
They got a guy that chases kids away.
Oh, come now Beaver.
Why would they have a man
at the athletic field to chase kids away?
He doesn't explain it.
He just tell us to get outta there.
(audience laughs)
Well all right then, all right,
you could've gone over to the park
and played mumblety-peg.
Gee Dad, they arrest ya if they catch ya with a knife.
(audience laughs)
All right.
Well all right, you boys better go on upstairs
and get washed up for supper.
Wally?
Why was that kid hittin' Tooey in the movies?
I don't know, I guess he thought he knew him.
(audience laughs)
(pleasant music)
What's up now?
June, can you tell me why they'd have a man
at the athletic field to chase kids away?
Didn't you read about that?
They want the grass to look nice
for the dog show next month.
(audience laughs)
Aww.
Ward, don't be upset about the movies.
I'll pick the boys up next week.
They're not going to the movies next week.
Next week, Wally and the Beaver
are going to enjoy a well planned weekend,
out of doors where they can get some fresh air.
They won't get on the athletic field
unless we enter them in the dog show.
(audience laughs)
June, I'm serious about this.
They need to get out of doors.
They oughta be doing the kinda things
I used to do when I was a kid.
Know what I'm gonna do?
Next weekend I'm gonna take 'em up to Friends Lake
for an overnight camping and fishing trip.
Oh Ward, that's wonderful.
Well you haven't had time to do that in a long time!
No I haven't.
They're upstairs washing up.
I'm gonna go up and tell 'em right now.
Don't be too long, supper's ready.
Oh say dear, you're not gonna mind
outdoors,
I'll go to a movie or something.
(audience laughs)
(plucky music)
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, Eddie.
Saturday our dad's gonna take us up to Friends Lake.
Wally, tell him how we're gonna make fire
by knockin' two stones together.
Cut it out, will ya Beav?
What's that Eddie?
Sure he promised.
Ha, my pop's the same way.
He promises ya somethin' to keep ya quiet.
Saturday comes along, you remind him of it,
he acts like ya got rocks in your head.
(audience laughs)
Well our dad's not like that.
When he promises you something, he means it.
I'll be seeing ya next week, at the movies.
Like fun you will, Eddie.
Eddie?
Wally?
Dad's really gonna take us campin', isn't he?
Sure he is, Beav.
You know how Eddie is.
Whenever you tell him somethin' good,
he's gotta tell you somethin' bad to spoil it for ya.
(audience laughs)
Well we got an early start in the morning.
I wanna get up to the lake by nine at the latest.
Was no problem persuading the boys
to go to bed early tonight.
Beaver was cute.
He didn't wanna get undressed.
He said he wanted to practice sleeping with his clothes on.
(audience laughs)
Hey June, why don't you come along with us?
Well I knew you'd ask me when it was too late
for me to accept, but I didn't think it'd be this too late.
(audience laughs)
Dear, you know you're perfectly welcome.
Well, thank you dear, but I'm too contented here.
I don't think I could bring myself
to leave my garbage disposal for that long.
(audience laughs)
(doorbell rings)
Oh, here.
(plucky music)
Oh hello, Fred.
Won't you come in?
No no, can't stay a minute.
(audience laughs)
Well, what's up?
Well I hung around the sweatshop today after you left.
Wire from New York.
Thought you'd like to know the scoop.
Oh yeah, I'd be delighted.
What is the scoop?
Well it seems the big boys
want the Farmington report we've been working on
on their desk first thing Monday morning.
Monday?
Well that means we'd have to work over the weekend.
I was gonna take the boys up to Friends Lake.
'Course Ward, you can afford to buck the big brass.
I'm just a little frog.
(audience laughs)
Tell you what I'll do, Ward.
I'll work on the report myself tomorrow.
I'll even sign your name if you want me to.
Thank you very much, Fred,
but I think I'd better meet you down at the office
first thing in the morning.
I'll just have to take the boys another time.
Well, too bad Ward.
But as Sir Walter Scott says,
"The best laid plans of mice and men aft gang agley."
That was Robert Burns.
(audience laughs)
Oh, well see ya in the morning.
Yeah.
Are you sure that wasn't Sir Walter Scott?
Robert Burns.
Oh, well if you're sure.
I'll have to ask Geraldine about that when I get home.
(audience laughs)
(somber music)
Oh, well I guess you heard.
Yes.
Oh Ward, those boys are gonna be so disappointed.
They've told all of their friends all week
about this camping trip.
I know, dear.
Well, I better go up and tell 'em.
Well they're asleep now.
Well, I'll be up long before they are in the morning.
I'll tell 'em then.
Ward, do you really have to work tomorrow?
No, no, I could just let it go.
Give up my job, sell the house,
and we could all live in the tent.
At least that way the boys would get to go camping.
(audience laughs)
(Ward chuckles)
That was a very sweet thing to say.
(dramatic music)
(plucky music)
Gee, I'm sorry fellas.
I hope you understand, I just can't help it.
Your father will take you camping next week.
That's okay, Dad.
We understand.
Sure we do.
Well, have a good day fellas,
and I'll see ya later.
You know boys, your father wanted to go
on this camping trip just as much as you do,
but, well when you're grownup
you just can't always do everything you want to do.
Gee Mom, that's the only reason I wanna grow up.
So I can do everything I want to.
(audience laughs)
I don't think anyone ever grows up that much.
Now look fellas, you get dressed
and come on down for breakfast, all right?
Okay, Mom.
Hey Wally?
[Wally] Yeah, Beav?
I don't really understand.
Well, that's because you're just a kid.
Yeah, I guess so.
(audience laughs)
Wally?
Those worms we caught, think they'll last 'til next week?
I don't think so.
We'd better turn 'em loose
and then catch 'em again if we need 'em.
Yeah, I guess worms should have
as much chance to have fun as anybody.
(audience laughs)
Yeah.
After the morning, you wanna go to the movies?
Gee Beaver, we told Eddie and all the guys
we were goin' campin'.
What would we say if they caught us there
watching "Vampires of the Amazon?"
If we can't go to the movies, what are we gonna do?
Well, I guess we just have to do nothin'.
I'd rather do nothin' when we have to go to school.
(audience laughs)
(pleasant music)
Honey, I'm home!
Hi!
I've been keeping your supper hot.
It's quarter to seven.
I thought you'd be home by five.
Dear Fred was helping me.
Oh.
Where are the boys?
The boys have gone camping.
Camping, where?
Well they wanted to go up in the sand hills,
but they are now roughing it in the wilds of our backyard.
(audience laughs)
No fooling?
Uh-huh, they pitched the tent out in back of the garage
and they took out their sleeping bags,
and they're gonna spend the night.
Well how are they doing?
Well, they came in and got some hamburger meat
so they could cook their own supper
but they asked me if I'd mind not coming out.
Oh?
Wally said it wouldn't seem
like they were out in the wilds
if their mother stuck her head in every few minutes.
(audience laughs)
I think before I eat my supper I'll just kind of
wander out and see how they're getting along.
Better wear your red hunting hat.
Think the Beaver has a water pistol.
(audience laughs)
Oh, well I'll risk it.
(plucky music)
(crickets chirping)
(twig snaps)
Hey, who's out there?
Nobody here but us bears.
(audience laughs)
Oh, hi Dad.
Hi.
Hi, Dad.
We think it was Eddie or some of the kids messing around.
I almost let you have it.
Oh.
Well, you fellas did a pretty good job of getting this up.
Well, it fell down a couple of times,
but then Beaver stood in here and held it up
while I drove in the stakes.
Oh.
Yeah I'm just about the same size as the tent poles.
(audience laughs)
Well you know fellows, I'm still sorry
about that camping trip,
but we're gonna make it for sure next weekend.
Oh that's okay, Dad.
We're having a lot of fun out here.
Well that's swell.
Now fellows, I think I'd button up this tent flap, though.
It's beginning to blow up a little bit outside.
[Wally] Okay, Dad.
If you smell anything burning in the morning,
that's just us cooking our breakfast.
Oh all right, Beaver.
Well goodnight fellas.
And if you need anything, just yell.
Gee, Dad.
We can take care of ourselves.
We're just about grown up.
Sure, Dad.
We're learning how to do things
for ourselves, just like you said.
Oh yeah.
Yeah, I guess you are, Beaver.
Goodnight, fellas.
Goodnight.
(plucky music)
Hey Beav, where'd you put the eggs?
They're in my knapsack.
Oh good.
In the morning, let's pretend these are eagle's eggs,
and we had to climb to the top of a mountain
to get 'em out of the eagle's nest.
(audience laughs)
What would you wanna do that for?
I got a scratch on my arm.
We could pretend that's where the eagle clawed me.
Aw, you can pretend what you want to,
but I'm just gonna eat 'em.
And anyway, whoever heard of an eagle
laying a hard-boiled egg?
(audience laughs)
It's a little dried out, but it's hot.
Yeah the boys are doing great out there.
Paper said it may rain.
Think they'll be all right out there?
Oh they'll be perfectly all right.
Thing for us to do is to leave 'em alone,
not spoil their fun.
I suppose so.
You talk about Wally and the Beaver.
When I was a kid, Chuck Tollofson and I slept in a tree.
You had a tree house?
No, we just slept in a tree that night.
(audience laughs)
Well what'd you do that for?
Well we wanted to tell the kids at school
that we'd slept in a tree.
We were quite the celebrities of the fourth grade.
Two days later, Linbergh flew the Atlantic
and took the play away from us.
(audience laughs)
You're making that up.
Oh no, he really flew the Atlantic.
It was in all the papers.
(audience laughs)
Wanna pour me some coffee?
(audience laughs)
(thunder rumbling) (rain pattering)
Sure sounds neat
when it rains on a tent, doesn't it Wally?
Yeah.
You know, Eddie Haskell says
if you touch the inside of a tent while it's raining,
you'll start a leak.
Ah, that Eddie.
Thinks he knows everything.
(rain pattering)
Will it really start a leak if you just touch it?
I don't know, that's what Eddie says.
(audience laughs)
Eddie was right.
(audience laughs)
That must've been a hole there or something.
It couldn't start a leak
just by touchin' a tent like this.
(audience laughs)
Boy, that Eddie sure is a wise guy.
(audience laughs)
Wally, look over there!
(thunder rumbling)
So what?
We're campin' out.
A little water's not gonna hurt us.
Sure, it's not gonna hurt us.
We'd better get to sleep.
It's much better with the light out.
We can't see the rain comin' in.
(audience laughs)
(thunder rumbling)
(suspenseful music)
Look at the way it's coming down.
Ward, I think you oughta go out
and tell those boys to come in.
June, I disappointed them about the camping trip.
I can't go out there now
and spoil what little fun they are having.
Anyway, there's nothing more exciting to a boy
than lying in a tent, listening to the rain.
But the wind!
What if the tent blows over?
They'd just be lying there in the rain.
Dear, they're right in their own backyard.
I suppose so.
I have to admit, I kinda wish they'd come in myself.
But we couldn't make them.
Ah, they'll be all right.
I'm gonna get a glass of hot milk and go up to bed.
(pleasant music)
(thunder rumbling)
You asleep, Wally?
No, I'm not asleep.
I thought you were asleep.
No, I'm not asleep either.
You okay?
Oh sure.
But it kinda feels like the water's
comin' in the sleeping bag with me.
(audience laughs)
I'd better turn up the lantern and see how we're doing.
I'm glad we stopped those leaks.
(audience laughs)
Boy, this is somethin'.
Yeah.
I bet we got the only tent with runnin' water.
(audience laughs)
Somethin' botherin' you, Wally?
Well heck no.
You wouldn't be thinkin' about goin' in the house
or anything like that, would ya?
Oh, of course not.
We're campin' out.
And anyway, even if we were thinkin' of goin' in,
we couldn't go in.
Oh sure.
Why couldn't we?
Because we told Mom and Dad
we could take care of ourselves.
If they ever saw us comin' in
on account of a little bit of rain,
they'd think we were a couple of sissies.
Yeah, I guess you're right.
I think we'd better do somethin' about this water.
Whatever we do, we'd better do it real quick.
(audience laughs)
(dramatic music)
Oh hi.
Good morning, dear.
How are the boys doing this morning?
They're fixing their breakfast out there.
(audience laughs)
Glad they're all right.
That was an awful rain we had last night.
We must have a leak.
There are wet spots all over the carpet, on the stairs.
Are there?
I'm gonna have to call Dunlap,
have him check our roof.
Wouldn't do that if I were you, dear.
I think the boys made those spots on the carpet last night
when they carried their sleeping bags upstairs.
(audience laughs)
When did all this happen?
Why, I must have looked out of that window
two or three times last night
to see if that tent had blown over.
It was about midnight.
You were sound asleep.
How'd they get in?
Well, I may have accidentally
left the kitchen door unlocked.
Accidentally?
(audience laughs)
They went back out when the rain stopped this morning.
It was around five o'clock.
Ward?
How were you so sure those boys would come in?
Oh I wasn't, but I wanted the back door unlocked
in case they did.
Sounds like you've been through this before.
Yeah.
The time Chuck Tollofson and I slept in that tree,
after a couple of hours his father came out
and made us come down.
Would've given anything
if he'd just left the back door unlocked.
(plucky music)
(pleasant music)
You can still breathe.
We'll be late for Sunday school.
You mean you guys took the sleeping bags
and slept out in a tent last night?
Yeah, we slept out there most of the night.
It was real neat.
Boy, my pop wouldn't let me sleep out in the rain.
He'd have come out and dragged me into the house
and made me take a hot bath!
(audience laughs)
Didn't your pop make you come in at all?
Heck no!
Boy, I wish I had a father who never cared what I did.
(audience laughs)
Come on, we'll be late for Sunday school.
Wally?
Dad does care what we do, doesn't he?
Sure he does, Beav.
Who do you think left the door unlocked last night?
(dramatic music)
(upbeat music)