The Andy Griffith Show (1960) s01e29 Episode Script

( whistling sprightly tune)
Starring Andy Griffith
with Ronny Howard.
Also starring Don Knotts.
Well, thanks, Floyd.
Oh, wait a minute. Hold on.
There. You can't let a client
in the public eye look lopsided.
Yeah, you're my best
advertising, Barney.
( chuckles)
Well
Uh-oh.
Looks like we might just have
an infraction of Rule
Eight, Section B here.
You about done, Floyd?
Done.
All right.
( jazzy music plays in
synch with Barney's pacing)
You get him?
No, I'm afraid not.
Just two inches inside the law.
Whose truck is that?
Why, Sam Becker's.
I saw him go in
the grocery store.
Oh, that strange duck.
I ought to give him a ticket
just to make him say something.
Yeah, he's pretty
tight-lipped, all right.
Yeah. Yeah, he's
been livin' up there
at the old Burch
place for six months.
Ain't said word one.
Not to me, anyways.
He ever talk to you?
He cuts his own hair.
He tell you that?
Didn't have to.
I can spot an amateur
head a mile off.
( clears throat)
Uh, here he is.
Hiya, fella.
Hi.
Well, I see you're
putting the old groceries
right in the back of
the old truck there.
Uh-huh.
Find out anything?
Plenty.
He didn't seem to say much.
He didn't have to.
Did you notice his eyes?
The way they kind of moved
back and forth shifty?
They looked a little loose.
Yeah, this baby's
hiding something, Floyd.
In the back of the truck?
No!
In here.
Something deep.
Guilt's written all over him.
You know something, Floyd
Huh?
This fellow's a challenge to me.
I'll open him up.
H here he comes again.
Don't look at him he'll
know we're talking about him.
What's he doing now?
I don't know. You told
me not to look at him.
Now's as good a time as any.
Hiya, fella.
Got all your groceries, I see.
( chuckles)
Boy, that market
sure is getting crowded
on Wednesday mornings.
I noticed that when I'd
go in to get my greens.
You can't hardly
get near the place.
What they really ought
to do is have self-service.
( shouting): Then a person might
be able to get through.
All right, let's, uh, let's
keep this traffic moving.
What traffic?
Well, uh all right,
break it up, Floyd!
What, what do you
mean, break it up?
Break up what? Just break it up!
Well Go on.
What what was that all about?
Oh, I was just trying
to find out something
about that Sam Becker
and get him to
talk a little bit.
Well, maybe he's
just a quiet type.
Some folks don't talk much.
Don't it bother you
the way he won't
look you in the eye,
the way he's always in a hurry?
The busiest man in the world
has five minutes to
pass the time of day.
Oh, I expect he's just shy.
Yeah, well, for
my money he's got
all the facial
characteristics of a criminal.
You know, the the narrow chin
and the eyes close together
and slack jaw with
a prominent overbite.
You know who that sounds like?
Who?
You.
All right, Andy.
All right, make
your little joke,
but just the same, I don't
happen to trust that fellow.
There's something about him
I just don't like.
Get that window over there,
will you, Ope?
Right, Paw.
Oh, I hate storms.
They make me so nervous.
Well, listen, tonight's
going to be a beaut.
Thunder and lightning,
40-mile-an-hour wind.
Better get your
nerves all tucked in.
Paw, do you think lightning
will hit our backyard?
Now, go ahead and
give your Aunt Bee
some worrisome
notions, will you?
I ain't worried.
I was thinkin' about
puttin' a penny out there.
A penny hit by
lightnin's worth six cents.
Who told you that?
Nat Pike told me.
Oh, Nat Pike is
always telling Opie
the craziest things.
You believe him?
Sure.
AUNT BEE: Well, I
wouldn't put much stock
in what Nat Pike tells you.
Why not?
Well, for one thing
he's only four years old.
He may be young, but
he's been around plenty.
( knocking at door)
Oh, hello, Barney.
Hi, Aunt Bee.
Come in.
Hi, Ope.
Hi, Barney.
Uh Andy, can I
talk to you private?
I, uh I got something
I want to show you.
Oh, of course.
Aunt Bee, would you and
Opie excuse us, please?
Of course. Come along, Opie.
Hey, Opie.
Yeah, Paw?
Here's a here's a couple
of pennies for the storm.
What have we got to lose?
Gee, thanks, Paw.
Okay.
What what's up, Barney?
I've been doing a little
research on the Becker case.
The Becker case?
Yeah, now get this
"Samuel W. Becker," number one.
"Occupation: unknown."
He's a farmer.
Is he?
Now, number two
"nobody in town knows
where he come from,
"nor what he did there
because he never
talks to anybody."
So?
Number three, and get this
I cased Ellie's sales
records at the drug store.
"One Mr. Sam Becker
"purchased the following
in large amounts:
"Absorbent cotton, antiseptics
"vitamins, tranquilizers
and swab sticks."
Well, I'll admit that
is a lot of drug items
for one man to buy,
but maybe he's just
laying in a supply.
Boy, you wouldn't notice
a muddy elephant in
the snow, would you?
You trying to tell me
Sam Becker's got a dirty
elephant up to his place?
Now, Andy, this is
no kidding matter.
You know what I think?
What?
I think he's got somebody
up there with a bullet in him.
Oh, come on!
All right, Andy. Just
do me one favor
Take a run up there
with me to look around.
Well, I don't want to
go way up in the country
in the middle of the night.
Well, just to satisfy
your curiosity.
My curiosity?
Come on.
Will it make you happy?
Yeah.
All right, let's
get it over with.
Aunt Bee, I'll be
back after a while.
Come on.
Duck!
Now, you got to admit,
that's pretty weird.
What's he doing
out in that field
in the middle of the night?
He's discing it.
At night?
Well, a lot of folks
do their work at night.
They're behind
in their planting;
can't stand the heat of the day.
I'm sure I could think
of a few more reasons
if I was to concentrate
my mind on it.
All right, I'll grant
you point one.
He is planting. But
what's he planting?
Hmm, this time of year
Barley, lima beans, maybe.
And/or?
And/or what?
And marijuana
or some other illegal crop.
You know, he just
could be Hold it!
Well, you saw that for yourself.
What'll we do?
I got a plan.
Well, thank heavens you're
finally coming to your senses.
Okay, shoot.
All right, first we go
back to town and split up.
Deploy.
You could call it that.
You go make your 11:00 rounds.
I'll go back to the office
and have a cup of coffee.
Oh, boy all this going on
and I'm supposed to go back
and shake doorknobs on a
bunch of penny ante stores?
Well, I'm sorry, Barney, but
there's nothing in the books
that says it's illegal
for a man to jump off his
tractor and run up to his house.
Let's go.
Now, easy, Otis,
easy, it's just noise.
Thunder, thunder is just
a couple of clouds
bumping together.
It can't hurt ya.
It got nothing to do with you.
Is that all it is?
That's all.
Now, you lay down
and go to sleep.
Make you feel
good in the morning.
( phone rings)
Sheriff Taylor.
Well, sure thing, Sam.
I'll get out there
as quick as I can.
Bye.
Hey hey, hey, Otis,
when Barney comes back,
tell him that I've gone up
to Sam Becker's house.
He's got some kind
of trouble up there.
Okay?
He went up to Sam
Becker's place?
He must be crazy
going up there by himself.
Why didn't you stop him, Otis?
Well, I For heaven's sakes,
a prisoner has to take
on some responsibilities.
Now Otis, tell me again word
for word just what Andy told you.
Well, he Think, man, think.
Just that he was
up at Sam Becker's.
Uh-huh. Can you remember
what the man looked like
that brought the message?
No, because
Was he a big fella?
Well Did he look like
he come from out of town?
You know, light gray
hat, well-tailored suit?
I just can't tell you, Barney.
Why can't you people learn
to develop your
powers of observation?
The message came
on the telephone.
Don't toy with me, Otis.
Just don't toy with me.
We don't know what
Andy's walking into.
All right, Sam, all right.
Now-now, just simmer down.
Everything's gonna be just fine.
You ever done this before, Andy?
Plenty of times.
I've brought plenty of
babies into the world.
You have?
Nothing to worry about.
Nothing to worry about.
Not a thing. Now, now,
if you'll just show me
where I can wash up Wash up.
Yes, and, and get a whole lot
of boiling water
going. Boiling water.
That's right, and gather
up all the clean towels.
You'll be fine. Clean towels.
Yes, that's right. Wash up
boiling water, clean towels.
Oh, doggone that Doc Winters.
He would have to be out of town
tonight of all nights.
Why do babies pick such
crazy hours to be born?
Well, I don't know.
I guess they just ain't old
enough to have watches yet.
Now, where can I wash up?
Oh, wash up oh, that's right.
Uh, clean towels, boiling
water, wash up. Right here.
I don't know what it is, Floyd.
All I know is he's in trouble,
and I need all
the help I can get.
Well couldn't you
wait until morning?
Gee, maybe it'll stop raining.
Floyd, you don't seem to realize
the seriousness
of this situation.
Now, you get dressed, and get
over here as quick as you can.
Well, I've never been in a
posse before, Barney, but
What'll I wear?
Oh, for the love of Pete, Floyd.
Just get here.
If you got a gun, bring it.
Gun?
I haven't got a gun,
but Melba's got a pretty
heavy walking stick
that she uses to prop
open the cellar door with
when she brings
up the preserves.
Listen, Floyd, are you stalling?
Now, look you get over
here just as quick as you can
and you stop by and
you get Nate and Clarence
and anybody else you can find.
Now, that's a civic order!
Everything's going
according to schedule, Sam.
I'm just going to call my office
and have Barney bring
my Aunt Bee up here.
( clears throat)
( clicking)
Sarah?
Sarah?
Sarah, I-I'm sorry I woke you.
Listen, get me
my office, will you?
( phone ringing)
Sheriff's office,
Deputy Fife speaking.
Andy!
Are you all right?
Barney, listen, I'm up
here at Sam Becker's.
Now, now, listen very carefully
and do exactly what I tell you
and don't get sidetracked,
because this is very important.
I want you to go
and, and, and get
It's happening,
something's happening!
Something's happening!
( muttering)
Andy! Andy!
( thunder roars)
Otis, they nailed
Andy trying to call me!
It's up to me, now.
Where's my bullet?
Oh, oh, yeah
( mutters)
Get it in there.
( thunder claps)
Now, listen. I've
got to get up there.
Now, listen. If the phone rings,
you answer it, and
you sort of take care
of the listening, and if any
if anybody comes or if
there's any, you know, at the
Oh, here. You've been
around here long enough.
You know what to do.
Now, now don't
do that again, Sam.
Oh, y-you going to
have a lot of false alarms.
Best thing for you to do
is just sit down
and rest yourself.
I don't want to sit down.
But you'll feel better.
You're as tight
as a ten-cent top.
I think I'd feel a lot better
if I can just walk
up and down a little.
All right, Sam, you
walk up and down
and I'll just have
me a cup of coffee.
All right, thank you.
( chuckling)
( lock rattling)
Barney! What
Oh, Barney, I've
been in a terrible fix
the last several months.
Why, every time I went
in town to go shopping
I was worried to death
about Lily all alone out here.
It's all I had in my mind.
A-and then you see,
I couldn't leave her
alone for very long
because she couldn't
hardly do nothing for herself
and, and I had to
keep the place going.
So I was shopping,
marketing, farming at night.
Did you ever try to put in
a crop in the dark, Barney?
Oh, it's terrible.
You're cold out there.
And you're not
sure where you are.
I double-seeded one plot there,
and oh, it's just
dog work. I don't
Sam, uh, check on
that boiling water.
It could, could
happen any time now.
Check on the
boiling water? Yeah.
Right, Sheriff. Yeah.
Well, he don't say much in town,
but he sure talks a lot
around the house, don't he?
( thunder claps)
Say, Andy, i-if it's going
to happen any time now
that doctor ought to get here.
There ain't going
to be a doctor.
Old Doc Winters is out of town.
It's too far to go
get anybody else,
so I have to do it.
Well, that's good because
Andy!
You
An
An
( whispering): Andy,
you can't deliver a baby.
( whispering): We got no choice.
And, and don't you
spill it to Sam, either,
because he's got a
lot of confidence in me
and I don't want him to lose it.
But Andy, you
can't deliver a baby.
I've seen it done
a hundred times.
I've read the book,
and I know what to do.
Andy, pay attention to me.
Now, think back.
Think back to the
Spring of 1938,
Miss Webster's biology class.
What about it?
You flunked!
Don't you remember?
You was dissecting that
grasshopper and you froze!
Oh, Barney, for heaven's sakes.
Well, aren't you nervous?
Tell the truth.
Course I'm nervous.
I'm scared to death,
but I honestly
believe I can do it.
If I didn't, I
wouldn't even try.
Besides, who else is there? Sam?
Well, hardly, no
You?
No!
I'm it, old buddy,
and I'm going to need
all the encouragement
I can get, too.
Well, all right,
you're the doctor.
But if you're going to do it
for heaven sakes, let's
at least do it by the book.
Taxi cab drivers do it,
streetcar conductors.
If a full-blown
sheriff can't do it
he ought to hang up his badge.
Well, here we are
Emergency births.
I've already read that,
Barney, you don't
That's all right, now.
It won't hurt for me to
check you out on this.
Now, it says,
"sterilize by boiling."
I-I've done that.
Well, oh, uh, yeah, I could use
a little coffee, Andy.
Okay, now, "if
cotton binding tape
isn't available,
tear some sheets"
I've done that, too.
It says, "boric acid
and cotton balls"
I've, I've got them.
Sheriff, Sheriff,
it's time, it's time!
It says, "Sheriff, Sheriff,
it's time, it's time"
It's time!
Andy, it's time, it's time!
Andy! Andy! It's
time! It's time!
Now, it's not time.
Now, both of you fellas
are just gonna
have to simmer down
and, and take it easy.
You're going to have
to get your minds
on, on something else.
I, I guess the best
thing for us to do is just
talk about something
other than babies.
I can't think of anything
except my wife and the baby.
Well, why don't you start
the ball rolling, Barney?
I'm, I'm thinking, I'm thinking.
You you was in the
army, wasn't you, Barney?
You know darn well I was, Andy.
Oh!
( chuckles): Oh, yeah
Yeah, Sam, I, I did my part in
helping to whip the dreaded Hun.
Oh, I was in Korea.
Well, put her there, old buddy.
( chuckles): I was across
the big pond, myself.
The other part of the
world, you might say.
I was second in
command of this outfit.
This corporal and me, we was
in charge of over 3,000 books
in the PX library
on Staten Island.
I'd rather not talk about it.
You say you was in Korea?
Yeah, course I didn't
see much action.
Yeah, but there was, uh,
there was this one time
they, they sent a company
of us out on the night patrol.
There was about 200 of
us and, uh, we went down,
behind this little
bitty Korean village.
And it was dark, of course,
and, uh, there was a
sniper started shootin' at us.
And I, uh, I backed
into this alley
wind up at the aid station.
They wanted to give
me a Purple Heart.
So I had to tell them the truth.
Of course you did.
So, I told them what happened.
I'd backed into a hen house,
and got spurred by a rooster.
( baby crying)
Oh, my.
Well, where'd that come from?
This is Sam's boy.
Come along about Army story
number 17, I believe it was.
Lily all right?
Fine, fine come
through like a real trooper.
She-she's asleep now.
Andy, you should have called me.
You know how great
I am at these things.
Oh, I couldn't spare you
You was doing too fine a job
keeping Sam here occupied.
Here, Sam, take your boy.
I'll I'll break it.
No, you won't.
Just make sure to
keep his head up.
Don't let it fall back.
There you are.
It's the baby.
Nice going, Andy.
You sure didn't freeze up
on this little grasshopper.
Let's go outdoors, Barney.
I could use a smoke.
Smells nice after
the rain, don't it?
Yeah.
( from yard): Psst!
Did you hear that?
Psst!
Over here!
Floyd, what are you all doing
up here with guns?
Uh oh, they,
they're just some boys
from an old posse I was
organizing there for a minute.
A posse?
I'm sorry we're late, Barney.
Nate lost the keys to his car,
my missus wouldn't
let me take her stick,
and then on top of that
Uh, drop it, will you, Floyd?
( baby crying)
Sheriff?
Uh, coming, Sam.
Oh, in case you
all are interested
Sam's a new papa
Eight pounds and nine ounces.
( crying continues)
Oh, and, and Floyd,
pass the word around
we got a new
citizen in Mayberry.
Will you hurry, Sheriff?
I can't get Andy to stop crying.
Andy?
Yeah.
ALL: Aw!
Get a good rest, Lily.
We'll take care of the young'un.
Can I hold him, Aunt
Bee? Can I, Aunt Bee?
No, you can't. This
is not a football.
But I won't drop him.
He's a squirmer, Ope.
( chuckles)
( guitar picking)
What's that?
Well, it sounds like
music from outside.
She'll be coming around
the mountain when she comes ♪
She'll be coming
around the mountain ♪
She'll be coming
around the mountain ♪
She'll be coming around
the mountain when she comes ♪
Well, we'll all have chicken
and dumplings when she comes ♪
Yes, we'll have some chicken
and dumplings when she comes ♪
Oh, we'll have
chicken and dumplings ♪
Yes, we'll have some
chicken and dumplings ♪
Oh, we'll have some chicken
and dumplings when she comes ♪
She'll be coming around
that mountain when she comes ♪
When she comes! ♪
She'll be coming around the
mountain when she comes! ♪
When she comes! ♪
She'll be coming
around the mountain ♪
She'll be coming
around the mountain ♪
She'll be coming around the
mountain when she comes. ♪
( cheering)