The Andy Griffith Show (1960) s01e30 Episode Script

( whistling sprightly tune)
Starring Andy Griffith
with Ronny Howard.
Also starring Don Knotts.
( siren wailing)
Andy?
Hmm?
Did you see that?
See what?
Littering.
I'll take him.
Okay. I'll get some coffee.
Say, fella!
You, uh, new here, Mister?
Huh?
We got laws in this town.
Well, I ain't done nothing.
Look, Deputy, I'm
in kind of a hurry.
Now, hold it.
You got time enough
to litter the streets.
Oh, is that all?
"Is that all"?!
Look, Mister, littering is
nothing to be laughed at.
You let one person litter,
and you know what happens?
Well, I I'll tell
you what happens.
Next thing you know,
everybody's littering.
So, you know what I'd better do?
I'd just better write
you out a citation.
Look, Deputy, why don't
you just take this five bucks
and we'll forget the
whole thing, okay?
Are you trying to bribe
an officer of the law?!
Well, it's only a fin. The
Why don't you just
take this and let me go?
( siren wailing)
All right, drop it right here.
Nice going, Deputy.
Yes, sir, nice going.
What's going on?
What happened, Barney?
Your deputy just helped
us nail Eddie Brooke.
He sure did.
What?!
OFFICER: He escaped
from Atlanta yesterday.
Three-time loser doing 20 years.
20 years?!
We got here just as your deputy
threw him to the ground.
He-he did what?!
I, uh
THELMA LOU: Barney?
Barney, you all right?
What happened?
Well, Thelma Lou,
you can be right
proud of your boyfriend.
You sure can.
You sure can.
He-he just helped capture
an escaped criminal.
He what?!
ANDY: That's right.
He got him down
so's the troopers
could take him.
Barney, how how'd it happen?
Uh, oh, well,
I-I'm not too sure.
See, it all happened so fast.
He-he began to uh and
All right, Brooke,
let's get moving.
Good man there, Sheriff.
I'll get you for this, Deputy.
( all clamoring) Barney,
I've just got to hand it to you.
That beats anything
I ever heard of.
I saw it all from my store.
Barney nailed him
with a flying tackle.
Now, what'd you do then, Barney?
What did he do? Well, I
He clipped him
with a short right.
Why, that punch didn't
go no further than the foot.
Hey, hey, i-it was
more than a punch.
He must have used
some of that judo.
Why, that fella
never had a chance.
Ain't that right, Barney?
Oh, Barney, I'm so proud of you.
But but you could
have been hurt.
You might have been killed.
Yeah.
Yeah, but then again,
he might have been hurt.
He might have been killed.
( all clamoring)
MAN: You're a real hero, Barney.
Took a lot of courage.
Well, what are you
so surprised about?
That's what I'm here for.
Well, Deputy Fife,
it looks like to me
you've put in a good
day's work already.
How'd you like to
take Thelma Lou here
and have the rest
of the afternoon off?
Oh, Barney, will you?
Well, I'd like to, Thelma Lou,
but I don't guess I'd better.
Why not?
Well, you just never
know when another beast
might come down
out of the forest.
You understand,
don't you, Thelma Lou?
Well
I really don't expect you to.
You see, Thelma Lou
this is what we call
the "deadly game."
I'm in it for keeps.
You started out to give
a man a ticket for littering
and the next thing I know,
why, you're the
toast of Mayberry.
( chuckles): Well
I'll admit it started
out with littering, but
the minute I seen him close
up, I knew this was bigger game.
Oh, you did, huh?
Yeah, boy. Huh.
He seen me closing in,
and he made his move.
And that's when you got him?
He never had a chance.
How'd you get him down again?
Well, I give him the old
body block.
The old body block?
Yeah, that's where you make a
weapon out of your whole body.
Oh, i-is that what your
body is a weapon?
When used correctly.
Yeah, I turned myself
into an obstacle. Heh!
Suddenly, I'm no longer
Barney Fife the man.
I'm Barney Fife the bulkhead.
I'll be dogged.
Well!
( sighs)
Might as well have
me a look around town.
No telling what
might be coming up.
You know, Andy
I never thought our
town would come to this.
Hmph!
Mayberry
Gateway to danger.
Hi, Barney.
Hey, folks, here's Barney.
You all heard how Barney
caught that crook today?
Threw himself in front
of him and blocked him.
Yeah. Made a weapon
out of my whole body.
Hi, Paw.
Oh, hi, Ope.
Hey, Paw, say draw.
Draw. ( soft bang)
Ooh, you got me.
Boy, that's slicker
than a willow whistle.
You must be the fastest
gun in the first grade.
Barney's been teaching me.
You know something, Paw?
What? That was a mighty
brave thing he done today.
Oh, it sure was.
Catching that crook.
Paw, you s'pose maybe
Barney was scared
just a little bit?
It wouldn't surprise me.
A whole lot of
times, that's the way
a fella gets to be a hero
By being scared enough
to do something brave.
You ever been scared, Paw?
Really scared?
Yeah, boy.
I remember one time
when I was about your age,
I climbed over this fence
into this farmer's field,
and I come face to face
with a great big old bull.
And he had the
meanest disposition
and the longest horns.
What'd you do, Paw?
Oh, I'd say about
60 miles an hour.
Anything less, and I mighta
had my pride punctured.
( both laughing)
Opie, I've been
looking all over for you.
We have to get
you some new jeans.
Again? Aunt Bee, that
boy goes through britches
like he's wearing
sandpaper underwear.
I know. Where's Barney?
Oh, he's at the post office.
I haven't congratulated him yet.
You know, that was a very
brave thing he did today.
It sounds kind of frightening.
It really was.
And it's the most exciting thing
that ever happened
to Barney. ( chuckles)
I'll bet he's so proud.
He's got reason to be, too.
And I'm proud of him.
You know, Andy, a thing
like this happens so seldom.
I think we should
celebrate in some way.
We gonna have a party, Aunt Bee?
Let's surprise him.
OPIE: Oh, boy,
a surprise party!
That's an outstanding
idea, Aunt Bee.
Oh, keep it small
Just us and Thelma Lou.
Okay.
Mmm!
Andy, now, stop it!
Stop it!
Andy, now, please!
You're worse than Opie.
Well, I can't help it.
It's good.
He should have been
here ten minutes ago.
Andy, are you sure that?
Now, Thelma
Lou, just be patient.
He'll be here.
He's just a few minutes late.
There's the police car.
He's here! He's here!
I'll get the lights.
Now, make that surprise good
and loud when he comes in.
( knocking on door)
Come in.
Surprise! Surprise!
Oh, uh
howdy, boys.
We was expecting Deputy Fife.
What are you all
doing back in town?
Well, we looked for you
down at the courthouse, Sheriff.
We
Well, hi, everybody.
ANDY: Hi, Barn.
Wh-what's going on here?
It's a surprise party
for you, Barney.
For me?
ANDY: Yeah.
Oh, my gosh.
Well, did you fellas
come all the way back
just for my surprise party?
No, but we do have
a surprise for you.
We were headed for the capital
and we stopped at a gas station
and Brooke escaped.
Escaped?!
Got out through a
window in the restroom.
BROOKE: I'll get
you for this, Deputy.
ANDY: Barney, you all right?
Huh?
I'll get you for this, Deputy.
BROOKE: Deputy
( door opening)
( gasp): Barney!
Oh, uh
hi, Thelma Lou.
Uh I was just, uh
practicing my, uh, quick draw.
Barney, I
I'm worried about you.
Well, shucks, Thelma Lou, uh,
there ain't nothin'
to be worried about.
There's a killer roamin' around
who swore he'd get you.
Oh, Barney, I wish
you'd do me a favor
and and leave
town for a few days.
Well, gosh, Thelma Lou,
what kind of a man would I be
if I ran from trouble?
A live one.
A man like Brooke
could do anything.
Oh, come on, Thelma Lou.
Give the man credit
for some intelligence.
He ain't going to
be stupid enough
to come back here
and tangle with ol' Barney Fife.
So, uh why, why don't you
just run along home, huh?
Oh, hi, Thelma Lou.
Andy, I wish you'd
make Barney go away
for a few days.
Aw, shucks, Thelma Lou,
Barney's got that
fella's number.
THELMA LOU: Are you sure?
ANDY: Yeah.
Well all right.
You take care of
yourself, Barney.
( phone rings)
Hello. Sheriff's office.
Oh, hello, Captain.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, much obliged
for letting us know.
Right, Captain. Bye.
What was that?
That was Captain
Ardell, state police.
A man answering
Brooke's description
was seen headed toward Mayberry
in a stolen car.
Hey, Barney, maybe
Thelma Lou had something
about you leaving
town for a few days.
Oh, hello, Johnson, Miller.
Uh, Captain Ardell
just called and said
they think Brooke's
headed this way.
We know that. We saw his car
abandoned by a
lake outside of town.
Well, that's in
Thatcher's woods.
That's just
three miles from here.
Are you boys with us?
Uh sure thing.
We'll wait for you.
Make it quick.
Well, Barney?
Let's go.
Load up.
Bread and butter.
See anything, Andy?
Not yet.
A lot of places a man could hide
around this lake.
You wait here, Barney.
Where you going?
I'm going to climb
this tree here
and see if I can get a
better view from the top.
Yeah, huh, that's a good idea.
Why don't you climb that tree
and see if you can get a
better view from the top.
Uh, I thought
I'd come up and help you look.
My eyes are 20/20, you know.
Hey, Barney, would,
would you mind
if I stop and
rest a little while?
I-I'm bushed.
( panting): Mm. You go ahead.
Make it easy on yourself.
I'll wait till you
( panting)
get your second wind.
Okay.
Sheriff Taylor calling
Officer Johnson.
Sheriff Taylor calling
Officer Johnson.
Over.
No, nary a thing.
You all spotted anything?
Well, just just keep looking.
We'll, we'll meet
you after a while
over at the old barn.
Over and out.
They ain't seen nothin' neither.
Not even a footprint.
If that fella's in these woods,
he's bound to be a-swinging
from tree to tree.
( bushes rustling)
What was that?
He's in there, Andy!
I know he is.
Now, just take it easy, Barney.
Careful, Andy.
He's a dangerous killer.
I don't see anything.
Barney, you had no idea
it wasn't Brooke.
I notice you didn't draw.
Well
Oh, what's the use
of kidding, Andy?
Ever since I heard
Brooke was on the loose
Barney, if, if, if we're going
to meet them state
troopers at the barn,
we better get going.
Andy, listen. Yesterday,
when I run into Brooke
I just hope they can
find that old barn.
Wait a minute, Andy.
There's something
I'd like you to know
about that capture.
Ain't going to be
much light left.
Andy
You coming, Barney?
Okay.
Miller, you and Barney check
the chicken house over there.
You know,
I'd better check that loft.
Uh Johnson?
Johnson? Uh
Yeah, Sheriff?
You know
you know, Brooke,
Brooke's too smart
to let himself be
trapped in a barn.
Now, we've covered the area
from the lake up
here to the barn.
Now let's circle on around
from here down to the highway.
I'm sure glad
you know this part
of the country, Sheriff.
Oh, well, I ought to.
When I was young
I spent more time around here
than I did when I was at school.
Oh, hey, something
else I'd like to do, too.
I'd like to leave
my deputy here.
Well, I don't get you, Sheriff.
Well, if Brooke ever
spots Barney, look out.
And I can't blame him.
If it hadn't been for Barney,
why, you all might not
have caught Brooke
in the first place.
Yeah.
Well, it's a good
thing he's not armed.
Yeah. Come on.
ANDY: Oh, let me
have that walkie-talkie.
I'll give that to Barney.
Yeah. See you in a little bit.
Hey, Barney!
( humming)
You want me, Andy?
Hey, Barney, listen.
I got an important job for you.
This here barn is going to
be communications center
and you're in charge.
Oh. Well, don't you don't
don't you think
I-I'd be more help
out there with the fellas?
Oh, no.
You'd be much more
valuable right here.
Keep in touch, now.
Uh Deputy Fife calling
Sheriff Taylor. Over.
Hi, Andy.
Any news?
Well, yeah.
Yeah, I-I know.
I know you just left.
I-I thought maybe, uh
maybe you ran into something.
Uh, uh 10-4.
( loud metal clink)
Don't shoot! I ain't got no gun!
Don't shoot!
Barney, what's the matter?
The deputy got him.
He done it again.
How did you do it, Barney?
How did you nail him?
Did he rush you?
Well, say something.
Well, what's the matter, Barney?
I swallowed my gum.
Okay, Barney
I'm sorry you got night duty.
Oh, that's all right, Andy.
( chuckles): Hey'd you see
the look on that Brooke's face
when them two troopers
took him away the second time?
Yeah. Uh, don't, don't
forget to put the latch
on the back door.
Yeah. Boy, he sure was
I got to go, Barney. Good night.
Yeah, well uh, night.
Now make that "Surprise"
good and loud. Ready?
ALL: Surprise!
Huh?! Wha!
Easy, Tiger!
It's a surprise party, Barney!
Surprise party!
( all clamoring) Look
at all this good stuff.
( clamoring continues)
Hey, wait a minute.
What are you two
fellas doing here?
Don't tell me now
Brooke's on his way back.
Oh, no.
Not on your life, with
that old Tiger Fife around.
Now let's hear it for Barney.
ALL: What's the
matter with Barney? ♪
He's all right. ♪