Leave It to Beaver (1957) s01e31 Episode Script

1
("Leave it to Beaver" theme music)
[Announcer] Leave It to Beaver.
Starring Barbara Billingsley, Hugh Beaumont, Tony Dow,
and Jerry Mathers as The Beaver.
(upbeat music)
Well, how you feeling, boy?
I feel pretty good, Dad.
Yeah, he's feeling great.
He got a model, and a magic set,
all kinds of loot from being sick.
Well, that's great.
By the way,
I brought you the bicycle tape
and the ice cream you wanted.
And after supper,
I thought I'd bring the television set in
so you could watch it.
(soft music)
Gee, that'd be great, Dad, thanks a lot.
Sit up now.
Hey, Wally, can I take these rings apart?
Lay off, Beaver.
Who got sick around here anyway, you or me?
[Ward] All right, son.
Yeah, you're the one that got sick all right.
(upbeat music)
Where are the boys this morning?
They're not down to breakfast yet.
Guess they're getting dressed.
Unusually quiet, aren't they?
By this time,
they've usually had two or three brotherly skirmishes.
Well, they're running
a little behind schedule this morning.
Probably didn't have time to work in a fight.
Yeah. (Water runs)
Well, they have the water running.
Wally, why did Mom take our beds apart?
[Wally] I don't know.
Grown people always get a kick
out of moving furniture around.
(Wally gargles)
That's a neat sound you're making, how do you do it?
(audience laughter)
I'm gargling.
(Wally gargles)
What you doing that for?
Well, my throat felt kinda sore this morning.
You feel sick, Wally?
No, I don't feel sick, but I don't feel well.
Which do you feel the most of?
Well, we're having a baseball game at school,
so I think I feel more well than I feel more sick.
(audience laughter)
(Wally gargles)
Where does your throat hurt, Wally?
Uh, right about here.
Oh.
Back where your tongue starts to grow, huh?
Yeah, I guess so.
Boys, hurry up.
Your breakfast has been ready for a long time.
I had to wait for Wally, he had to gurgle.
Gurgle?
He means gargling, Mom.
Wally, are you sick?
Your head feels awfully hot.
Well, I'll be okay, Mom.
And anyway, I got a ballgame.
So that's it.
Wally, I'm gonna take your temperature.
Mom
Beaver, you go down and get your breakfast,
and then you go on to school,
and if Wally's all right, I'll drive him there later.
Okay, Mom.
Now let me think,
that thermometer, it must be in our bathroom.
Thanks a lot, Beaver.
I do something wrong?
What did you have to go and tell her I was gurgling for?
Now I'll probably have to stay home from school
and miss the ballgame.
I'm sorry.
Maybe when she takes your temperature,
you can hold back so it won't show.
(audience laughter)
Beaver, would you go to school?
June?
Oh, June, I'm going.
Honey, I was just getting the thermometer,
I think Wally has a sore throat.
Well, do you want me to take a look at it?
Oh, no, no, if it's anything, I'll call Dr. Richardson.
Okay, but, uh, call me at the office.
- Mm-hmm.
- Bye, dear.
Ward?
I don't have a sore throat.
(soft music)
Oh.
(audience laughter)
Goodbye, dear.
Bye.
(phone rings)
Hello?
Oh, hello, Ward.
Hi.
I just called to see how Wally was getting along.
Dr. Richardson just left.
He says if Wally stays in bed all day today,
he can go back to school tomorrow.
Gave him some pills.
Oh, honey, wait a minute,
Wally has some instructions for you.
Uh-huh?
All right, I'll remember, dear.
No, I won't forget.
Tell him I was asking for him.
All right, bye.
Uh, Grace, just before I leave today,
I want you to get a roll of bicycle tape
and a pint of chocolate chip ice cream.
Yeah, that's right.
No, Grace,
I think you'll have to go to two different stores.
(audience laughter)
(Ward sighs)
Your father's gonna bring home
the ice cream and the bicycle tape.
Gee, thanks, Mom.
Mom,
it says here take one pill twice a day.
That's right.
Well, gee, how do you take the same pill twice?
(audience laughter)
You know, you have your father's sense of humor.
Is that good?
Sometimes.
I'll get you some more orange juice.
(door slams)
[Beaver] Hi, Mom, hi, Wally, I'm home!
You certainly are.
(audience laughter)
(footsteps)
Hi, honey.
Hiya, Mom.
How's Wally? Is he still sick?
How's his head?
Is his tongue still hot?
(audience laughter)
He's gonna be fine, Beaver.
Hey, Wally, you know what
Can I come near you or are you catchy?
I think it's all right.
I can't be catchy 'cause I'm going back to school tomorrow.
Where'd you get the neat model?
Mom got it for me so I'd have something to do.
Dad's bringing me home some ice cream.
Was a doctor here?
Yeah, Dr. Richardson, you know him.
Oh, yeah.
He has a mustache, and he always smells like his office.
What'd he do, huh, Wally?
Well, he did like all doctors do.
He came in, and then he washed his hands,
and then he looked at me, and he washed his hands again,
and then he left.
Didn't he stick you or anything?
Uh-uh, he just gave me these pills.
I never knew he was such a good doctor.
Wally,
Eddie and Tooey are downstairs.
Here, drink this.
Well, gee, tell 'em to come on up.
All right, I will.
Now look, if there's anything else you want,
you just let me know.
Gee, thanks, Mom.
[June] Come on up, boys.
Boy, this is great,
you're getting waited on and everything.
- Hi, Wally.
- Hi, Wally.
[Wally] Oh, hi, guys.
Hi, men.
Well, how are you, Wally?
How is he?
He's the healthiest-looking sick man I ever saw.
Ah.
(boys chuckle)
He's got a model and Dad's bringing him home ice cream.
Hey, what's this?
[Wally] Orange juice.
Orange juice?
You better watch it, boy.
They got a way of slipping things over on you
by putting it in orange juice.
(audience laughter) (upbeat music)
Well, if there was anything in it, it's too late now.
(audience laughter)
What's in the paper bag?
Well, when we heard you were sick, Wally,
the whole class chipped in and we bought you a present.
Ah, gee, the guys shouldn't have done that.
What's in it?
(audience laughter)
(Eddie clears throat)
As the chosen representative
of the eighth grade of the Grant Avenue School,
I hereby present you with this genuine oriental magic set.
Hey.
It cost $2.30.
I was the treasurer.
Boy, this is real neat.
Hey, here's a picture of a guy sawing a girl in half.
Can you do that with it?
Not for $2.30.
(audience laughter)
Boy, I'd sure like to saw a girl in half though.
(audience laughter)
You know something, Wally?
That Mary Ellen Rogers was asking for you.
No fooling?
Yeah.
She said, "Give my love to Wally."
Then she made a face like she was gonna get sick.
(Tooey chuckles) (audience laughter)
I wonder why she'd do that for?
Ah, cut it out, Rock,
who do you think you're kidding?
(boys chuckle) (audience laughter)
Yeah. (Chuckles)
Ah, cut it out.
The doctor says I can come back to school tomorrow.
Uh, well, thanks a lot for all the swell junk.
Yeah.
Well, I gotta get going.
I promised Chester Anderson
I'd help him get the ticks out of his dog.
Yeah, I gotta get going too.
Uh, hey, Wally,
if you get real good with that magic set,
maybe you can come up with something
to make this little squirt disappear.
(boys chuckle) (audience laughter)
Oh.
Hello, Mr. Cleaver.
Uh, we were just cheering up Wally.
So I heard.
I hope he feels better, Mr. Cleaver.
Well, thank you, Tooey.
Well, uh, come on, Tooey, you can't keep that dog waiting.
(audience laughter)
Well, how you feeling, boy?
I feel pretty good, Dad.
Yeah, he's feeling great.
He got a model, and a magic set,
all kinds of loot from being sick.
Well, that's great.
By the way,
I brought you the bicycle tape
and the ice cream you wanted.
And after supper,
I thought I'd bring the television set in
so you could watch it.
(soft music)
Gee, that'd be great, Dad, thanks a lot.
Sit up now.
Hey, Wally, can I take these rings apart?
Lay off, Beaver.
Who got sick around here anyway, you or me?
[Ward] All right, son.
Yeah, you're the one that got sick all right.
Excuse me, Beaver.
Say, aren't the boys late again this morning?
No, they're just normally behind schedule,
but I'll go up in a minute and see.
Come on, Beaver, hurry up.
(Beaver gargles)
(Beaver gargles)
What do you think you're doing?
I'm gargling.
When I got up this morning, my throat felt kinda sore.
Where's it hurt?
Where'd you say yours hurt?
Right about here.
That's where mine hurts too.
(audience laughter)
(Beaver clears throat)
(Beaver coughs)
Boys, what's holding you up?
Well, The Beaver here says he's sick.
(Beaver coughs)
I think I got what Wally had yesterday.
He was breathing all over me.
Well, your head doesn't feel warm.
But I better take your temperature.
Oh, Wally, you better run on to school.
Okay, Mom.
So long, Beaver, so long, Mom.
So long.
Come on, Beaver, get in bed.
Mom,
you're gonna call Dr. Richardson, aren't you?
Well, of course I am, he's our family doctor.
Come on now, Beaver, get in bed.
(upbeat music)
(upbeat music)
Oh, hi, June,
I just called to see how The Beaver was getting along.
Has the doctor been there yet?
Not yet, dear, I called his office.
Beaver doesn't have any temperature at all.
Huh.
Well, the doctor will know about that.
Uh, look, dear, I'm gonna try to get away early today,
is there anything you want me to bring?
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
All right, I'll see you pretty soon, dear.
Bye.
Uh, Grace, before I leave today,
I want you to get me a package of turtle food
and a pint of chocolate chip ice cream.
Yes, Grace, you'll have to go
to two different stores again.
(audience laughter)
Well, you look a lot better.
I didn't think I did.
Did you call Dr. Richardson?
I called his office.
[Beaver] When's he coming?
Oh, in about an hour.
But he isn't coming himself.
Then who's all's coming?
Well, Dr. Richardson is out of town,
so his associate, Dr. Bradley, is coming.
We ever had Dr. Bradley?
No, I've never even met him.
He's a new doctor.
I think he's quite young.
Mom?
[June] Yes, Beaver?
Is Dr. Bradley a pill doctor or the other kind?
(audience laughter)
- Well, Beaver,
I really don't know,
but I'm sure he's a very good doctor.
I'm sure he is too.
Here, honey,
you drink your orange juice
and I'll come up and see you later.
All right?
Okay, Mom.
(upbeat music)
(door closes)
(audience laughter)
Hi, Mom, we're home.
Ah, hello, Wally.
Hi, Eddie.
Hello, Mrs. Cleaver.
Gee, your kitchen always looks so clean.
Well, thank you, Eddie.
My mother says it looks as though
you never do any work in here.
Oh?
Here, Eddie.
What are you doing home so early, Wally?
Oh, we only had half-day school today.
I think the teachers had to go to a lecture or something.
Oh.
They gotta sit and let somebody talk to them for a change.
(audience laughter)
Hey, Mom, can we have something to eat?
Well, Wally,
aren't you gonna go upstairs and say hello to your brother?
Well, gee, why would I do that?
(audience laughter)
Well, he's in bed, he didn't go to school today.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
Come on, Eddie, we'll say hello to the kid.
I'll try to cheer him up, Mrs. Cleaver.
I know how it is when you're sick.
(upbeat music)
(audience laughter)
You know what I'll bet?
I'll bet the little squirt's putting on an act.
(footsteps)
[Wally] As soon as I get my glove,
we'll go over to the field.
[Eddie] Yeah, we oughta wipe those guys.
Oh, hi, Beav.
[Beaver] Hi.
Hiya, squirt.
What are you guys doing home from school at noontime?
Well, don't you remember, Beav?
We only had half a day today,
on account of the teachers going to a lecture.
Gee, I didn't know I was getting sick on a half-day.
That's tough.
You, uh, guys bring me anything?
Gee, Beav, we didn't get a chance to.
Wally, why don't you guys hang around up here
til the doctor comes?
Well, gee, Beav, we'd like to,
but we've got a ballgame.
I'll see ya.
What's the matter, Eddie?
Boy, you better look sicker than that
when the doctor gets here.
(Eddie chuckles) (audience laughter)
(upbeat music)
Hi, dear.
Hi.
One package of turtle food, one pint of chocolate chip.
Thank you.
How's the patient?
He seems fine.
Dr. Bradley is gonna stop by after office hours.
Dr. Richardson's out of town.
Beaver seems fine though.
Hm.
Well, I, uh,
guess it's all right for him to have visitors then, huh?
Visitors?
Yeah, there's a young lady and gentleman
from his class at school to see him.
Whitey and Judy.
Come on in, kids.
Hello, Ms. Cleaver.
Hi, Mrs. Cleaver.
Hi.
We came to see Beaver, Ms. Cleaver,
but if it isn't convenient,
we'll come back to see him when it is convenient.
(audience laughter)
Oh, you go right on upstairs.
Don't worry, Mrs. Cleaver,
whatever he's got, I can't catch it,
'cause I've had everything.
(audience laughter)
(Ward and June chuckle)
Aren't they cute?
Ah, that Judy's a regular Florence Nightingale
in pigtails, isn't she?
(upbeat music) (footsteps)
Hello, Beaver.
Hi, Beaver.
Hi, Judy, hi, Whitey.
We heard you were sick, so we came to see you.
We both came to see you, me and Judy.
Yeah, I know.
Did you bring me anything from the class?
Yeah, we brought you your homework.
(audience laughter)
Oh.
Miss Canfield said
you should work on it over the weekend,
to catch up with the class.
But, didn't all the guys chip in and buy me something?
We didn't have time, it was a half a day.
Miss Canfield said if you're not better by Monday,
we should send you a geranium.
(audience laughter)
Oh, I think I'll be better by Monday.
How do you know, did you have the doctor yet?
No, he's coming this afternoon.
Not Dr. Richardson though, it's Dr. Bradley.
Do either of you guys know Dr. Bradley?
Not me.
He used to come to see my sister.
What did she have?
She had a baby.
(audience laughter)
Why are you worrying about the doctor, Beaver?
I'll bet you're scared of doctors.
I am not.
I'd just like to know what he's like, that's all.
He came to see me once when I had spots on my face.
He gave you pills, huh?
No, not that time.
He asked me to roll over, and then you know what.
(audience laughter)
Did it hurt?
It always hurts.
Gee, I was hoping he was a pill doctor,
like Dr. Richardson.
We've gotta go now, Beaver.
Be sure to do your homework,
I told Miss Canfield you would.
[Beaver] Okay.
We were just leaving, Mrs. Cleaver.
Well, that's fine, Judy.
Dr. Bradley is here now.
Well, hello, Whitey.
How are you?
I'm fine.
You came to see The Beaver.
[Beaver] Bye. (Audience laughter)
Well, so this is the patient?
Hi.
Hi.
Uh, could I wash up, Mrs. Cleaver?
Oh, right in here.
(soft music)
That sure is a big bag, isn't it, Mom?
Well, he's a very busy doctor.
That's what Whitey says.
I'm gonna be downstairs if you want me, all right?
Okay.
Bye, Mom.
[June] Bye.
Bye, Whitey, Judy, thanks for coming.
Well, how's he doing?
He doesn't look sick, but he looks awfully worried.
You know, um,
I wonder if he got the sore throat from Wally
or just the idea from him?
Ah.
Hm,
very interesting.
Uh-huh.
I think I got something that needs pills, don't I?
Theodore,
I think you have something that needs more than that.
You mean I gotta roll over?
No.
But I think you and I had better have a little talk.
Did you ever hear about the boy who cried wolf?
No.
Is he one of your patients?
(audience laughter)
No.
He was a boy a long time ago.
In order to get attention,
he told everyone that he was in trouble when he wasn't.
Then when trouble really came,
there wasn't anyone there to listen.
Theodore, have you been crying wolf?
I guess so,
but I only wanted to get a lotta good loot,
like my brother, Wally, did when he was sick.
It's very normal to want attention,
but you know,
there are a lot of really sick people in this world,
and if fellas like you start pretending you're sick
when you're really not,
we doctors just won't have enough time
to see the people who really need us.
You can understand that, can't you?
I guess it's a pretty mean way to get ice cream and stuff,
and I guess Mom and Dad were pretty worried about me.
Do you want me to go down right now
and tell 'em I was making it all up?
Well, I'll go down and them you're all right,
but the rest is up to you.
It's not gonna be easy.
When you start out by telling a lie,
it makes telling the truth an awful lot harder.
Yeah.
I sure wish I'd never started all this.
Say, Doctor?
Yes?
Thanks for not asking me to roll over.
(audience laughter) (upbeat music)
(upbeat music)
Hey, Beav, why don't you eat something?
I'm sorta not hungry.
Hi, Beaver.
Oh, hi, Mom, hi, Dad.
- Hi.
- Hi, Mom, hi, Dad.
Here's your ice cream.
Well, Beaver, you hardly touched your supper.
I'll bet he eats his ice cream though.
I don't kinda feel like it.
Why, Beaver?
The doctor said you were perfectly fine this afternoon.
I've been perfectly fine all day.
I was just calling wolf, like Dr. Bradley said.
I see.
Well, Beaver,
you know you shouldn't do a thing like this, don't you?
Yes, Dad.
Dr. Bradley told me about
all the really sick people in the world who need him.
I won't do it never again, Dad.
We know you won't, Beaver.
Uh, Beaver, uh, just so the ice cream doesn't go to waste,
I think you'd better eat it.
Wally, yesterday when you were sick and got all that loot,
were you faking too?
No, of course not, my throat really hurt.
It hurt way back here.
It really did, huh?
Yeah, I was really sick.
You know, Wally, you get all the breaks.
(audience laughter)
Beaver, will you eat your ice cream?
(upbeat music)
(upbeat music)