The Andy Griffith Show (1960) s01e31 Episode Script

( whistling sprightly tune)
Starring Andy Griffith
with Ronny Howard.
Also starring Elinor
Donahue and Don Knotts.
Hey, Barney, I got
news you won't believe.
Guess who's coming to Mayberry.
Who? Jim Lindsey.
I don't believe it.
Well, you better.
I got call from him
not five minutes ago.
He's a-driving down
tomorrow, wants me to reserve
a room for him at the hotel.
Ain't that great?
Yeah, boy!
Hey, who's Jim Lindsey?
Who's Ji?
Oh, now I've heard everything.
Don't you listen to
records, for heaven's sakes?
Well, of course, but
Maybe you've
heard of Bobby Fleet
and His Band With a Beat? Yeah.
Well, Jim Lindsey's only the
main attraction with the band.
He plays guitar.
Gee whiz, he's a star,
and besides that,
he's a friend of ours.
Oh. Yeah, I used
to have to arrest him
for playing guitar
on the street.
Remember, Barney? Yeah.
Then we'd go inside of the jail
and we'd pick and sing together.
Yeah. He's rich and famous now.
You better know it.
Let's go tell everybody
the good news.
They'll be glad to
hear it. Come on.
Bye. I just can't believe
you never heard of Jim Lindsey.
You'd think at least you
heard of his big hit record,
"Rock and Roll
Rosie From Raleigh."
That's great, that's just great!
Don't you think
that's great, Floyd?
Our Jim, coming
back to Mayberry.
Oh, no. Great. Oh
Oh, big as that boy is,
he is not forgetting
his hometown.
Oh, it's great. He's a fine boy.
I can't wait to see him again.
But, Andy, what kind of
a welcome do you think
we ought to give Jim tomorrow?
I think we ought
to make it a doozy!
I do, too. I think we ought
to get somebody to make up
a big "Welcome Home" banner,
and put it right out on the
street "Welcome Home, Jim!"
And also, I think
definitely we ought to have
the Mayberry Drum
and Bugle Corps
meet him as he
comes to the hotel.
That's a great idea, man.
And here's an idea
Also, I think maybe
my daughter could sing a song.
How about "Flow
Gently, Sweet Afton"?
Hey! You like that, huh?
Let's give Jim a
police escort into town.
That's an outstanding idea!
You can meet him
down at the junction.
Bring him in with
sirens a-blasting,
horns a-tooting.
I'm taking care of
Where you been, Barn?
Where do you think?
Washing the patrol car.
When you're an
official police escort,
you got to look smart.
I'll call the hotel.
Oh, Sarah?
Get me Jason over at the hotel.
Barney, you better simmer down,
or you're gonna bust
your little corpuscles.
Well, if I didn't worry
about these things,
I just wonder who
Hello. Jase? Barn.
Is everybody at the hotel?
Uh-huh.
Oh, who you got
holding the banner?
Who?
Oh, gee, I don't know.
Well, Ralph's all
right, but that Charlie,
he always lets his "N" droop.
Yeah? Well wh-what about
the drum and bugle
corps, are they there?
What?! Only two bugles?
Well, we'll just have
to try and make out.
Yeah, well, I'm leaving
for the junction right away,
so I won't be long. Yeah.
What's the matter with
the drum and bugle corps?
Oh, Kester got
mad and quit. Why?
Oh, they wouldn't
practice at his house.
Oh.
Now, what are you
looking for now?
My whistle.
Your whistle?
What do you need a whistle for?
You can't be an
official police escort
without a whistle,
for heaven's sakes.
Well, look in the back room.
Maybe it's back
there And if it's not,
you may have to pucker
and make it on your own.
Ha-ha-ha.
I tell you what else
you might do, Barney,
if you don't find that whistle.
You might try blowing
across an empty pop bottle,
sound like a boat coming in.
( laughing)
( guitar chords playing)
Jim Lindsey!
Hey, Barney, it's Jim!
Jim Lindsey!
( playing rhythm and blues)
Let me have that
hand there, Jim!
Oh, you're looking good,
playing better than ever.
( all talking) Don't he
sound good, Barney?
Yes, good for you.
Don't he look good?
( all talking)
Oh, no. Oh, no!
No!
What's the matter, Barney?
Well, you messed
up the plans, Jim.
Plans? What plans?
Barney was supposed to
meet you down at the junction
and give you a big
police escort into town.
I found my whistle.
Well, I'm sorry, Barney.
Oh, that's okay.
You plan and you
plan, and what happens?
Well, come on,
let's get started.
Escort parade.
Escort parade?
It's just to the hotel.
I know, but we agreed
to an escort parade,
and that's what
we're going to have.
Well, Barney
Oh, well, uh
lead the way, Grand Marshal.
Okay. Come on, Jim, let's go.
Boy, wait till you see
what we got lined up for you.
Yeah, it really is good
Ooh-wee, would
you look at that car.
Barney, did you ever
see anything like that?
That's crazy, ain't it?
You better know it.
Red and look
look at all the
knobs and things,
and leather upholstery.
This must have set you
back a pretty penny, Jim.
Well, you make it, you spend it.
We ain't got time to talk now.
Jim, you follow us.
We're the lead car.
All right.
All set, Jim?
( whistle blows)
Get that vehicle off the street!
There's a parade starting here!
Move on!
( siren wailing)
( band playing)
All right, quiet!
Quiet, folks, quiet!
My boy, this is a
proud day for Mayberry,
and although you've been gone,
oh these many months,
you remain steadfast
in our hearts,
and we're mighty proud
to see you back here again
prosperous and famous.
( crowd cheers agreement)
Well, thank you.
Thank you, Mayor
and folks of Mayberry.
Uh, I just want to thank you
for this wonderful welcome
you've shown me, and
well, I don't have much
to say except that, uh,
well, you were awful kind to
me when I wasn't doing too well,
and now that I'm a bit
prosperous and famous
like the mayor said
( audience chuckling)
I want you to know
that we're just gonna
go on being friends
just the same as usual.
Thanks very much, Mayor.
There you are.
We're looking for you
for supper tonight, Jim.
We're having your favorite:
fried chicken and cornbread.
Oh, I'm gonna be
there, Aunt Bee.
We'll see you.
Well, success doesn't seem
to have gone to
his head, does it?
No, boy, Jim's a good boy.
Pa, what am I gonna
do with all this confetti?
You were supposed
to throw it at Jim.
I know, but I forgot.
Well, I reckon you can
throw it at me if you want to.
Okay. Welcome home, Pa!
Now, there, how'd
that do for you?
It ain't the same, Pa.
You ain't been anyplace.
( all talking)
Yeah, Ellie ain't, either.
Well, let the
Midnight Special ♪
Shine your
ever-lovin' light on me ♪
Yonder come Miss Rosie ♪
How in the world do I know? ♪
Well, I know
her by her apron ♪
And the dress she wore ♪
Umbrella on her shoulder ♪
A piece of paper in her hand ♪
Well, she's gonna
see the gov'ner ♪
Just to release her man ♪
Let the Midnight Special ♪
Shine the light on me ♪
Well, let the
Midnight Special ♪
Shine your
ever-lovin' light on me ♪
Well, If you ever
come to Mayberry ♪
Well, you better walk right ♪
Well, you better
not squabble ♪
And you better not fight ♪
Deputy Fife will arrest you ♪
And he's sure
to take you down ♪
Well, you can bet
your bottom dollar ♪
That you're jailhouse bound ♪
Let the Midnight Special ♪
Shine your light on me ♪
Well, let the
Midnight Special ♪
Shine your
ever-lovin' light on ♪
Ever-lovin' light on ♪
Ever-lovin' light on me. ♪
You're playin' better than ever.
Ellie, he's playin' better
than he did 'fore he left here.
Let me see that
good-lookin' guitar
one more time.
Mm-mmm!
How many of these
things you got?
Oh, I got three.
ALL: Three?
Oh, you are doin' well.
Them's slick-lookin' duds
you got on there, too, Jim.
Ain't they?
Well, uh, these are
custom-made. No!
Oh, yeah, every bit of 'em.
You know what the
guys in the band call this?
What? A set of threads.
( laughter)
Did you hear that?
Fellas in the band call
that a set of threads.
It's a suit.
Jimmy, you never did tell us
what brought you back here.
Oh, uh to relax.
Rest, huh?
You know, uh, being a big star
isn't all sunglasses
and autographs.
That's right.
When you got to report
back to the band, Jim?
Uh, you mean to
Bobby Fleet? Yeah.
I'm not with him anymore.
You ain't?
How come?
Don't get
the wrong idea.
It's just that I'm
moving up. Oh
Well, you see, I was
the main attraction.
I was the one that
brought in all the crowds,
so I thought, "What the heck,
"why should I make all
that money for Bobby Fleet?
"I should be making it
for Jim Lindsey!"
So, I just took out on my own.
A-A-And you're doing good, huh?
Oh, Andy, I'd have
to be four fellas
to take all those offers.
Oh, naw!
( knocking)
ANDY: Well, Jim, you
sure have come a long way
from just playin'
guitar in the street.
He used to play on
the street all the time.
How do you do?
Is there a Jim Lindsey here?
Yes. Jimmy?
Someone for you.
For me?
It's another offer.
Look out, now.
Excuse me.
( chuckling)
Mr. Lindsey?
Yes?
They told me at the hotel
I'd find you here.
Well, yes?
I'm from the Mid-Mountain
Finance Company.
Could we speak out here?
Mr. Lindsey, I'm sure
you know why I'm here.
Well, yes, sir, but if you could
just give me a
little more time
I'm sorry, but you're
behind three payments.
Unless you're
prepared to make them,
the company wants that car.
Well, yes, sir, but, you see,
I don't have any
money right now.
I'm tapped out. I
don't have a dime.
But if you just give
me a little break
I'm sorry. Can I have
the keys, please?
If you could just give
me a little more time.
Sorry, Lindsey.
ANDY: custom-made clothes.
AUNT BEE: What was
it he called it again?
ANDY: He's such a good boy.
He does look good.
Hey, what was it
he called that suit?
A set of threads.
Set of threads.
Who was that, Jim?
I'll bet it was
another offer, huh?
Turned him down, too, huh?
( car pulling away)
Yeah.
Yeah, I turned him down.
Well, we better hear
one more guitar
piece, hadn't we?
Come on, Jim, play
us one more piece.
You're liable to leave anytime.
We won't see you for
ain't no tellin' how long.
Come in, Jim.
( playing slow blues)
That's $4.60.
Oh, dang, I've gone and
left my wallet up at the hotel.
Put that on my
tab, will you, Ellie?
Oh, well, Jim
That's sweet of you.
ANDY: Howdy, Jim.
Oh, hello, Andy.
Doing a little
shopping, I see. Yeah.
Hey, where's your car?
I ain't seen it around.
Uh well, uh
they picked it up
for servicing. Oh.
You see, that's a foreign job,
and they can't get those
parts here in Mayberry.
Yeah, I guess that's right.
You better tell them
to get it fixed in a hurry.
One of them offers
comes through so good
you have to take a job to
light out of here in a hurry.
Oh, well, I don't have
to worry about that.
Those offers just
keep pouring in.
I'm just waiting
for the best one.
That's the time. I'd
better get over to the hotel.
Check my mail.
Right. I'll see you, Jim.
Bye. Bye.
Boy, it sure is good
havin' old Jim back in town.
Andy, there's something
I'd like to ask you
about Jim. What?
Well, he's been
buying a lot of things
and just charging them.
Well, there ain't
nothin' wrong with that.
No, I guess not,
but the the point is,
if he's as prosperous
as he says he is,
why doesn't he pay
for anything he buys?
Didn't he pay you for anything?
Not a penny.
Now, I know he's a
good friend of yours
but, well, after all,
I did just meet him,
and, you know, I
have a responsibility.
Yeah, well, that
is a little strange.
Oh, I suppose I shouldn't worry,
but it's running
into quite a bill.
Well, I wouldn't worry.
Jim'll take care of it.
Well, I better get back
over to the courthouse.
I just thought I'd stop
by and say good morning.
Okay. Bye.
Bye-bye.
Howdy, boys.
Oh, howdy, Andy.
I just run into Jim Lindsey
over at the drugstore.
Sure is good
having him back in
town again, ain't it?
Yeah.
Yeah, good to see old Jim.
Yeah.
As a matter of fact, Andy, uh
Jase and I were
just talking about Jim.
And, uh, you know somethin'?
What?
Well, Jim has, uh
well, he's he's
kind of changed.
Yeah? How?
Well, he comes in
quite often, he has,
and he has never once
paid for a haircut or a shave.
He just says, uh,
"Put it on my tab."
He does, huh?
Hi.
Oh, hi, Barn.
As long as we're on the subject,
I might as well tell you
He hasn't paid
his hotel bill yet.
Really?
I leave his hotel bill
in his box every day.
He just ignores
it. I'll be dogged.
You fellas talkin' about
Jim Lindsey? Yup.
I don't mind his
chargin' things.
It's just it's
just his attitude.
Aw, wait a minute, fellas.
I think you're all
jumpin' to conclusions.
You know something,
do you, Barn?
Well, one thing I do know
is Jim Lindsey's okay.
If you're worried
about your money,
just forget it.
What makes you so certain?
Because any day now
Jim's gonna get a nice,
great big royalty check,
and when he does,
he'll have money to burn.
Who told you that?
Jim.
When?
When I loaned him the money.
You loaned Jim
some money, did you?
Well, yeah.
He said he needed
ten dollars, and all
he had was big bills.
FLOYD: You see? Him, too.
Mm. Uh, Jase, how
much mail does Jim get?
Mail?
Yeah, you get the
mail in every morning.
How many letters has Jim got
since he's been here?
Nary a one.
Let's see if we can get
ahold to Bobby Fleet.
Who? Who?
Don't ask so many
stupid questions, boys.
This is lawman's work.
ANDY: Appreciate your
comin' down here, Mr. Fleet.
It's a long ways.
Not if you get a
good guitarist out of it.
Tell me, what makes you think
Lindsey wants back with my band?
Oh, just a notion.
What happened
between you all, anyhow?
We heard he was
doing fine with you.
He was. He was doing just great
till his head blew up.
You want to hear
the payoff? Yeah.
He wanted me to take
him in as a partner,
change the name of the
band to Fleet and Lindsey.
Now, how about that?
What'd you do?
What could I do?
Got ourselves into
a slight little hassle,
and I called him
a no-talent bum.
Mmm!
I know I shouldn't
have said that,
but, honestly, he
just kept bugging me.
And that's why he
went out on his own?
You know what kind
of a cocky kid he is.
He said he was going to go out
and make it as a single.
Naturally, he bombed out.
Alone, he's from nowheresville.
That's probably why
he came back here
This is the only town left
that'd give him a free meal.
You know something, he
don't have to stay broke.
He could start making it again.
You'd take him back?
Well, sure, I'd take him back.
If the crazy character
would forget his pride
long enough to say yes
and stop tryin' to crowd me.
You just stay right here,
and I'll see if I can't fetch
you one guitar player.
( knocking)
Come in.
Howdy, Jim.
Oh, hello, Andy.
Leavin' us?
Well, uh
I'm used to those
one-night stands, you know.
I stay in one place
too long, I get itchy feet.
Well, where you headed?
Well, I got offers
from all over
Chicago, New Orleans
could be anyplace.
Jim, I just saw Bobby Fleet.
You saw Bobby?
Here in Mayberry?
Wonder what he's doing here.
Oh, I know. He
he knows I'm on my
own now and doin' great.
He probably wants me
to come back with his band.
That'll be the day, when
I join that two-bit outfit.
Jim, I not only saw Bobby
Fleet, I had a talk with him.
You talked with him?
Yep.
Then you know the
truth, then, don't you?
Well, what'd you
what'd you put on
such a big act for?
What'd you expect me to do?
Come back to my
own hometown and say,
"Come on, folks.
Come look at your
hometown failure."
I think you're kinda
underestimating
your friends a little.
What do you mean?
Wasn't you treated pretty
good before you left?
And you wasn't a
big star or nothin'.
Why should folks think
any less of you now?
What's it matter
what they think?
I'm leavin' anyway.
Jim, Bobby Fleet wants
you back with the band.
You mean he wants me to
come back and eat crow, don't ya?
Well, not me, not
Jim Lindsey. No, sir.
Won't you even talk to him?
No. In fact, I'm cuttin'
out of here right now.
You sure are
bullheaded, ain't ya?
Well, I'll have to take
matters into my own hands.
Jim, you're under arrest.
Arrest? For what?
Leavin' town without
payin' your bills.
Well I left this watch, Andy.
It'll it'll cover
all my bills,
more than cover them.
Well, then you're under arrest
for not leavin'
town fast enough.
Let's go. Now, wait a minute,
now, I-I would've been gone
if you hadn't kept
me here yappin'.
No flimsy excuses,
Jim Let's go.
Well, Andy, this
is ridiculous
Yeah, these babies
come in mighty handy.
Andy, what are you doin'?
What's it look like?
He's a vagrant, got
a lot of unpaid bills
I'm lockin' him up.
Okay, Sheriff, I'll square it
How much does he owe?
Don't bother.
I'm not takin' any
handouts from you.
Who says this is a handout?
It's comin' out of your
first week's check.
Well, who says
I'm workin' for you?
Aw, come on.
How much does he owe you?
You called me a no-talent bum.
I apologize, okay?
Now, how much does he owe you?
Well, I'd say $75
would cover it nice.
Okay. Here you are.
Now, you see?
You gotta work for me.
You're into me
for too much loot.
In fact, I figure
you missed about
30 hours of rehearsal,
so I may have to fine
you another 50 bucks.
50 Bucks?!
But I may have
to give you a raise
so you can afford to pay me
back all the loot you owe me.
A raise?
Are you kiddin', Bobby?
Well, don't just stand
there like a ninny.
Come on out and shake on
it before he changes his mind.
Thank you.
A-Andy, I been a real
Jim, you better get to work.
You got a set of threads
and a little red car
and three guitars to feed.
Yeah.
Act like you got
some smart, now.
Oh, that was some
kind of extra good.
How about it, Barney,
ain't it good to see
Bobby and Jimmy together again?
Yeah, it sure is.
Say, why don't I join in
on the next number, huh?
What'll it be, "I'm Just
a Vagabond Lover"?
"Roll Out the Barrel"?
"Mares Eat Oats"?
"Tiptoe Through the Tulips"?
Now, let's play
one more fast one.
One more.