Leave It to Beaver (1957) s01e35 Episode Script
Boarding School
1
("Leave it to Beaver" theme music)
[Announcer] Leave It To Beaver.
Starring Barbara Billingsley, Hugh Beaumont,
Tony Dow and Jerry Mathers as The Beaver.
Wally, if you go to this marching school
you think they'll let you bring your horse home
on weekends?
I don't think so.
But maybe you can come up and spend the weekend with me
and the horse.
That'd be almost as good as going.
What cha doing Wally?
Just sorting out my junk.
If a guy's gonna leave home
he should put away the stuff he's not gonna use.
Oh certainly, Mrs. Franklin.
I'm sure Wally and the Beaver will be delighted.
Thank you, bye.
What are we forcing our boys
to be delighted about now?
That was Bernice Franklin.
Her boy Johnny's home from military school
and he's coming over to see Wally and the Beaver.
Johnny Franklin?
Oh that's the kid we took fishing.
He fell out of the boat.
With the lunch.
Oh no, that was a different Johnny.
This is Johnny Franklin.
He was a grade ahead of Wally
and he went away to military school about a year ago.
So?
So he's coming over.
Oh good.
(audience laughing)
Bye mom, bye dad.
Bye mom, bye dad.
Hey kids, where you going?
Oh to the new supermarket, dad.
They're giving out free samples.
And there's gonna be a real live movie star there.
(audience laughing)
What movie star?
I don't know mom.
It's one of those movie stars you've never
heard of before.
(audience laughing)
But it says out front he's a real live movie star, though.
[June] Well boys you can go over there later.
Johnny Franklin's coming over to see you.
Johnny
Oh yeah, he used to be in the eighth grade.
Gee mom, do we have to stay home?
Uh huh, his mother says he's on his way over.
But mom, if we don't get over to the supermarket now
all the free samples will be gone.
(audience laughing)
And the movie star will have went home.
Gone home, Beaver.
Anyway, you said no one ever heard of him before.
Come on boys.
You head upstairs
and when Johnny gets here we'll send him up.
Okay mom.
But gee, our whole day's spoiled.
(audience laughing)
Well offhand I'd say they weren't too happy
about Johnny coming over.
Well it's pretty hard to compete with an
anonymous movie star.
(audience laughing)
(cheerful music)
Hey look Wally.
I finally got the eyes on the clown.
Hey that's pretty good.
How'd you do it?
Well I took the top off and stuck them in.
(audience laughing)
Oh yeah.
Boys, look who's here.
Johnny Franklin.
Yeah.
Uh, hi Johnny.
Hi men.
(audience laughing)
Hi.
Well, I guess you boys have a lot to talk about.
Thank you Mrs. Cleaver,
for letting me come over.
You're welcome.
(whimsical music)
That sure is a neat Army suit.
Oh it's just a school uniform.
That's pretty neat.
Oh, hey wanna sit down?
It won't hurt your suit, will it?
(audience laughing)
Thank you.
June, this is the third time
I've tightened these hinges.
I wish the boys wouldn't slam the back door.
All right dear, I'll have them slam the front door
for a while.
(audience laughing)
Oh thanks.
Hey, that Johnny really looked sharp
in his uniform, didn't he?
And he's so polite.
Really polite.
Not like Eddie Haskell.
I think Johnny really means it.
Yeah.
Do you really get to march every day?
Well sure, and on Saturdays we have a parade
with a band and everything.
Boy that sure sounds swell.
I bet you don't get to carry guns though.
Well sure we do.
Can you shoot real bullets with them?
Well the big guys have a rifle team.
We drill with wooden guns.
Well gee, what's the good of having a gun
if you can't shoot it?
Well if there's an invasion or something
you can hit guys with it.
(audience laughing)
Boy, sure sounds like a neat school.
Sure it is.
And in gym we practice rope climbing
and tumbling and wrestling and stuff like that.
Gee, I never heard of a school
where you could have fun before.
(audience laughing)
We even have horseback riding and swimming.
We even have two guys from the regular Army
to teach us the drilling.
And you know something else,
all our teachers are men.
Well except the nurse.
(audience laughing)
Oh boy, all men teachers, huh?
No lady teachers?
[Johnny] Not a single one.
You mean you don't have to wash?
(audience laughing)
Well sure they make us wash.
You get demerits if they find dirt on you.
(audience laughing)
Gee Beaver, you have to wash.
No matter where you go to school.
(audience laughing)
Yeah, I guess so.
Say Wally, where are you going to school next year?
Well, I don't know.
I guess Mayfield High with Eddie and the other guys.
Yeah, I guess that's an all right school.
Yeah, I guess it's an all right school.
Of course they don't have horses.
They don't have guns either.
Not even wooden ones.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well men, I've gotta get going.
I have to report back to school.
I'm on sentry duty tomorrow.
Sentry duty?
You mean you get to shoot at guys
who don't know the password?
(audience laughing)
Tomorrow is visiting day and we stand around the campus
and direct the parents to where the washrooms are.
(audience laughing)
Well I really have to get going now.
It's nice talking to you men.
Uh yeah.
(military march music)
Hey, that was pretty snappy, huh?
Yeah, they must give him turn around lessons too.
(audience laughing)
Not really thing was so hard.
(whimsical music)
I'm sorry you have to leave so soon, Johnny.
I'm sorry too, Mrs. Cleaver,
but I have to report back tonight.
I'm on sentry duty.
Sentry duty, huh?
Well, drop in anytime you're home, John.
Thank you sir.
At ease men.
I can't help it dear.
I used to be a sea bee.
I'm always a little self conscious
in the presence of that much brass.
(audience laughing)
Pow, pow.
Pow.
Hey you know what Beaver?
I might ask dad if I can go to Bellport next year.
I thought you wanted to go to Mayfield
with Eddie and the other guys.
Yeah, but I've been thinking.
Who wants to be like Eddie Haskell?
But he's your best friend, isn't he?
Well that's what he's always telling me.
But he's kind of a creepy guy to have for a best friend.
(audience laughing)
Sure is.
You gonna ask dad if you can go to Bellport?
Well not all at once.
You know if you want something real good
gotta be careful how you ask.
What do you mean?
Well, if you come right out and ask them
and then they say no, you're dead.
Yeah.
Sure wish I could go to military school.
You're not old enough yet, Beav.
I know, but I'd sure like to be on sentry duty.
And tell people where is the washroom.
(audience laughing)
Pow!
Well fellows what did you and Johnny Franklin
talk about this morning?
Oh things and stuff.
Oh, seems funny you wouldn't find
much to talk about.
You hadn't seen him in almost a year.
Yeah, well I guess that's why we didn't
have much to talk about.
(audience laughing)
I thought he looked very nice in his uniform.
Dad?
A long time ago you were a kid once, weren't you?
(audience laughing)
Well
I think he was.
That's one of the things that's rather hard to avoid.
Uh huh.
Did you ever ride a horse?
Did I ever ride a horse?
Well I was practically brought up on a farm.
We rode them bareback.
You kids don't know what you miss.
Did you ever shoot a gun?
Well when I was old enough.
I went hunting with my father.
Gee, you must have had a lot of fun
when you were a kid.
I sure did.
(chuckling)
I remember one time my brother and I
Ward, please.
Oh this was my younger brother.
(audience laughing)
Anyway, dad let us take these two horses
and we rode way over
Dad?
Huh?
Could I go to Bellport Military Academy next year?
Well Wally, why would you bring this subject up?
'Cause they got horses and guns there.
But Wally, I thought you wanted to go to
high school here with all of your friends.
Gee dad, it's a real neat school.
They teach marching and wrestling and swimming.
And I'd get good marks.
Couldn't I go?
Well Wally, you wouldn't wanna leave us would you?
Well gee, how else could I go away to school?
(audience laughing)
Well Wally, this is quite a surprise
you sprung on us.
You mean I can go?
(audience laughing)
Well
Well, at least I'll look into it.
But it'd take a lot of thought though.
We'll see what we can do.
Gee, thanks dad.
Mom?
Can we stick our dishes in the sink now?
(audience laughing)
Yes, you may be excused.
Wally, does this mean you really get to go?
[Wally] I sure hope so, Beav.
Huh.
He wants to go to military school.
Well of course he does.
The way you encouraged him.
June, I didn't encourage him.
Well you did all that bragging
about horses and guns.
Well you know military school
might do Wally a lot of good.
He might be very happy up there.
Now listen Ward.
If he's gonna be happy,
I want him to be happy right here at home
where we can keep an eye on him.
(audience laughing)
Of course with all this talk about going away
maybe he's not as happy here at home
as we think he is.
What do you mean by that?
Well I mean he's practically ready for high school.
And he's always had to share a room with his brother.
And anyway, it's perfectly natural
for a kid to wanna get away
from his mother's apron strings.
What do you mean my apron strings?
(audience laughing)
Uh, nothing.
That was a poor choice of words.
It certainly was.
Look, June, Wally brought the subject up.
Now it seems to me that the least we can do
is to get an application and find out about the school.
Then if we're satisfied and if he really wants to go
I think we ought to let him go where he'll be happy.
All right.
You send for the application
and he wants to go we'll let him go
where he's gonna be happy.
I'm glad we agree.
But there's only one thing, Ward.
If he gets homesick or a horse bites him or something,
I'll never forgive you.
(whimsical music)
List applicant's allergies if any.
What's that?
Oh it's an application for Bellport Military Academy.
They wanna know more about our boy
than we know about him.
You think Wally really wants to go?
You know he's gotten excited about things before
and he's lost interest.
Oh June, he's talked about nothing else
for the last week.
They want a picture of him, too.
Send that one in his blue suit.
No, I think I'll send the one in the baseball uniform.
Wally, if you go to the marching school
you think they'll let you bring your horse
home on weekends?
I don't think so.
But maybe you can come up and spend a weekend
with me and the horse.
(audience laughing)
That'd be almost as good as going.
What cha doing, Wally?
Just sorting out my junk.
If a guy's who's gonna leave home
he should put away the stuff he's not gonna use.
But, you won't be leaving for a whole nother year.
Well, yeah.
A guy should do it anyway.
Oh, here you can have my snakeskin.
Wally, did you really take this off a snake?
Nah, me and Eddie found it.
Every year snakes crawl out of their own skins.
I wonder how a snake makes a hole
on top of himself so he can climb out?
(audience laughing)
Oh I don't know.
I guess you have to be a snake to know that.
Yeah I guess so.
Wally, if you go to this marching school.
I guess we won't be going down to the lake anymore
and catching polliwogs.
No, I guess not.
Of course when I go down to the lake
I can always take Larry Mandell with me.
If it's all right with you.
Sure, it's all right with me.
You can take Larry.
No.
Huh?
It takes a certain kind of guy to catch polliwogs with.
[Wally] How come?
Well, first you gotta find a guy
that likes to lay on his stomach.
Well, doesn't Larry like to lie on his stomach?
I don't know, I never asked him.
(audience laughing)
You know something Wally?
[Wally] What's that?
The fun of catching polliwogs
isn't really catching polliwogs.
It isn't? (Slow music)
No, it's lying down with the other guy
and talking.
Yeah, I guess you're right.
Yeah.
Like the time we were at the lake.
We were pretending the lake was an ocean.
And the polliwogs were whales.
And we was on a whaling ship.
Remember, Wally?
Yeah, I remember.
Well, we didn't catch one polliwog that day.
But that was the best day ever spent at the lake.
Uh, yeah.
Well I think we better put this stuff out in the garage.
Yeah, I guess we better.
What are the boys doing out there?
Storing Wally's valuables in the garage.
Getting ready to go to boarding school.
So soon?
Ward, do you really think we'd be doing the right thing
letting him go next year?
Oh June, he's talked about nothing else for days.
I think if he wants to go,
we should let him go.
I suppose so.
You know, I thought we might all drive up
to Bellport and let him look the school over.
Make up his own mind one way or the other.
I better make a sandwich for Eddie Haskell.
Is he coming over?
Uh huh.
Well at least if Wally goes off to school
he'll be away from Eddie's influence.
Maybe we need Eddie Haskell.
What?
Well if it weren't for Eddie
who could we blame Wally's faults on?
(audience laughing)
Hiya men.
Hi Eddie.
He Eddie.
What's new?
Nothing.
There is too.
Wally's going to a real neat military school.
And he gets to ride horses and shoot guns and everything.
No fooling?
Military school?
Yeah, it's up at Bellport.
Yeah?
When did your father get this idea?
(audience laughing)
My father didn't get it.
I got it.
Yeah?
I'll bet you just think it was your idea.
What do you mean, Eddie?
Last year my pop started hinting around
about military school.
About learning to be neat and getting better marks.
But he wasn't getting rid of me that easy.
(audience laughing)
Well gee, I don't think my father's trying
to get rid of me.
Me neither.
Yeah, let me tell you something.
I read it in a magazine.
Legally they can't throw you out of the house
until you're 21.
(audience laughing)
You're goofy, Eddie.
My father's not throwing me out of the house.
I wanna go.
That's what you think.
(audience laughing)
Dad wouldn't do a thing like that.
Would he, Wally?
Wait til it happens to you, you little squirt.
You won't know what hit you.
(audience laughing)
Ah, go on Eddie.
All right, but look at me.
I'm 13 years old and I've been to five different
summer camps.
You don't think my old man's spending that kind of money
just so I can have a good time, do you?
(audience laughing)
Ah, cut it out Eddie.
You're always bragging about how much fun
you have up at camp.
Well I'm smart enough not to let my old man know about it.
(audience laughing)
You guys coming over to Metzgers Field?
Yeah.
Well, we'll be over later.
We've got to have lunch first.
Okay, I'll see you characters.
Wally, it was your idea about military school, wasn't it?
Sure.
When Johnny Franklin came over in his uniform.
That's when I got the idea.
Sure.
How come Johnny Franklin came over?
He never came over before.
I don't know.
I
I guess mom and dad invited him.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(whimsical music)
Say Wally, you have anything planned for tomorrow?
No, I guess not.
Why dad?
Well I have your application all filled up.
I thought we might drive up to Bellport tomorrow
and look the school over.
Uh, yeah.
I guess I could go.
(audience laughing)
Wally, don't you still want to go to boarding school?
Oh yeah.
Well, I guess I do.
Wally, we've talked about it all week.
Now do you or don't you?
Well, gee dad, anything you say.
Could I be excused?
(audience laughing)
What's the matter with you?
How long til I'm 21?
(audience laughing)
Not for a long time, Beaver.
Oh.
Can I be excused too?
Yes Beaver.
Well.
What do you suppose has gotten into Wally?
Guess he doesn't wanna go to boarding school.
Yeah, but why?
(whimsical music)
Ward I didn't say a thing to him.
(audience laughing)
Well dear, just don't look like you have.
(audience laughing)
You already washed your face once today.
Well, I'm washing it again.
Your eyes look funny.
Well I was playing baseball yesterday
and catching flies.
Sun kind of makes my eyes red.
Yeah, I guess it does all right.
Would you mind closing the door?
Sure Wally.
Ward I really think you should go up
and find out what happened to Wally.
So do I.
I'm going up right now and have a talk with him.
Dear, don't be too hard on him.
Remember, we're trying to make him happy.
(audience laughing)
All right.
Dad?
Well Beaver, what are you doing here?
Dad, I wanna talk to you.
Well what is it?
How come you don't like Wally anymore?
(slow music)
Rid of him.
Where'd you get that idea?
[Beaver] From Eddie Haskell.
Eddie Haskell?
Yeah, his father tried to get rid of him.
By sending him away to school.
But he knows the law,
so he's not gonna go til he's 21.
Well Beaver, I don't know what Eddie told you
or what he thought his father's intentions were,
but parents don't send boys away to boarding school
because they wanna get rid of them.
They send them away because,
well because they want them to have certain advantages.
I don't think Wally wants no advantages.
Any advantages.
Any advantages.
Beaver, even before Eddie talked to Wally
I sort of got the idea that he was beginning
to get cold feet about wanting to go away to school.
What do you think?
Yeah.
I think his feet were getting cold.
Even before he talked to Eddie Haskell.
Where is he now?
He's upstairs, and his eyes are red.
From catching fly balls out in the sun yesterday.
Oh.
Well I'll go up and talk to him.
Thanks a lot Beav, you've been a big help.
Oh sure, dad.
Excuse me Beaver, I have to go upstairs
and talk to Wally.
Your father and I have something to discuss with him.
That's okay, mom, I think me and dad
just took care of it.
(whimsical music)
Wally?
Yeah, Beav?
You going up to see that marching school tomorrow?
Nah, dad and I kind of talked it over.
And we figured I wouldn't go to Bellport next year.
How come?
Well, all the other guys are going to Mayfield.
And Eddie isn't really such a creep.
Anyway, dad and I figured you might get in trouble.
Me?
Well yeah.
You know going down to the lake
and catching polliwogs by yourself and stuff.
Yeah, I guess it's not gonna be so bad.
Having you home for a whole nother year.
Yeah.
Well just don't get the idea that means
you can hang around me all the time.
(audience laughing)
Oh no, Wally.
(cheerful music)
(cheerful theme music)
(Universal jingle)
("Leave it to Beaver" theme music)
[Announcer] Leave It To Beaver.
Starring Barbara Billingsley, Hugh Beaumont,
Tony Dow and Jerry Mathers as The Beaver.
Wally, if you go to this marching school
you think they'll let you bring your horse home
on weekends?
I don't think so.
But maybe you can come up and spend the weekend with me
and the horse.
That'd be almost as good as going.
What cha doing Wally?
Just sorting out my junk.
If a guy's gonna leave home
he should put away the stuff he's not gonna use.
Oh certainly, Mrs. Franklin.
I'm sure Wally and the Beaver will be delighted.
Thank you, bye.
What are we forcing our boys
to be delighted about now?
That was Bernice Franklin.
Her boy Johnny's home from military school
and he's coming over to see Wally and the Beaver.
Johnny Franklin?
Oh that's the kid we took fishing.
He fell out of the boat.
With the lunch.
Oh no, that was a different Johnny.
This is Johnny Franklin.
He was a grade ahead of Wally
and he went away to military school about a year ago.
So?
So he's coming over.
Oh good.
(audience laughing)
Bye mom, bye dad.
Bye mom, bye dad.
Hey kids, where you going?
Oh to the new supermarket, dad.
They're giving out free samples.
And there's gonna be a real live movie star there.
(audience laughing)
What movie star?
I don't know mom.
It's one of those movie stars you've never
heard of before.
(audience laughing)
But it says out front he's a real live movie star, though.
[June] Well boys you can go over there later.
Johnny Franklin's coming over to see you.
Johnny
Oh yeah, he used to be in the eighth grade.
Gee mom, do we have to stay home?
Uh huh, his mother says he's on his way over.
But mom, if we don't get over to the supermarket now
all the free samples will be gone.
(audience laughing)
And the movie star will have went home.
Gone home, Beaver.
Anyway, you said no one ever heard of him before.
Come on boys.
You head upstairs
and when Johnny gets here we'll send him up.
Okay mom.
But gee, our whole day's spoiled.
(audience laughing)
Well offhand I'd say they weren't too happy
about Johnny coming over.
Well it's pretty hard to compete with an
anonymous movie star.
(audience laughing)
(cheerful music)
Hey look Wally.
I finally got the eyes on the clown.
Hey that's pretty good.
How'd you do it?
Well I took the top off and stuck them in.
(audience laughing)
Oh yeah.
Boys, look who's here.
Johnny Franklin.
Yeah.
Uh, hi Johnny.
Hi men.
(audience laughing)
Hi.
Well, I guess you boys have a lot to talk about.
Thank you Mrs. Cleaver,
for letting me come over.
You're welcome.
(whimsical music)
That sure is a neat Army suit.
Oh it's just a school uniform.
That's pretty neat.
Oh, hey wanna sit down?
It won't hurt your suit, will it?
(audience laughing)
Thank you.
June, this is the third time
I've tightened these hinges.
I wish the boys wouldn't slam the back door.
All right dear, I'll have them slam the front door
for a while.
(audience laughing)
Oh thanks.
Hey, that Johnny really looked sharp
in his uniform, didn't he?
And he's so polite.
Really polite.
Not like Eddie Haskell.
I think Johnny really means it.
Yeah.
Do you really get to march every day?
Well sure, and on Saturdays we have a parade
with a band and everything.
Boy that sure sounds swell.
I bet you don't get to carry guns though.
Well sure we do.
Can you shoot real bullets with them?
Well the big guys have a rifle team.
We drill with wooden guns.
Well gee, what's the good of having a gun
if you can't shoot it?
Well if there's an invasion or something
you can hit guys with it.
(audience laughing)
Boy, sure sounds like a neat school.
Sure it is.
And in gym we practice rope climbing
and tumbling and wrestling and stuff like that.
Gee, I never heard of a school
where you could have fun before.
(audience laughing)
We even have horseback riding and swimming.
We even have two guys from the regular Army
to teach us the drilling.
And you know something else,
all our teachers are men.
Well except the nurse.
(audience laughing)
Oh boy, all men teachers, huh?
No lady teachers?
[Johnny] Not a single one.
You mean you don't have to wash?
(audience laughing)
Well sure they make us wash.
You get demerits if they find dirt on you.
(audience laughing)
Gee Beaver, you have to wash.
No matter where you go to school.
(audience laughing)
Yeah, I guess so.
Say Wally, where are you going to school next year?
Well, I don't know.
I guess Mayfield High with Eddie and the other guys.
Yeah, I guess that's an all right school.
Yeah, I guess it's an all right school.
Of course they don't have horses.
They don't have guns either.
Not even wooden ones.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well men, I've gotta get going.
I have to report back to school.
I'm on sentry duty tomorrow.
Sentry duty?
You mean you get to shoot at guys
who don't know the password?
(audience laughing)
Tomorrow is visiting day and we stand around the campus
and direct the parents to where the washrooms are.
(audience laughing)
Well I really have to get going now.
It's nice talking to you men.
Uh yeah.
(military march music)
Hey, that was pretty snappy, huh?
Yeah, they must give him turn around lessons too.
(audience laughing)
Not really thing was so hard.
(whimsical music)
I'm sorry you have to leave so soon, Johnny.
I'm sorry too, Mrs. Cleaver,
but I have to report back tonight.
I'm on sentry duty.
Sentry duty, huh?
Well, drop in anytime you're home, John.
Thank you sir.
At ease men.
I can't help it dear.
I used to be a sea bee.
I'm always a little self conscious
in the presence of that much brass.
(audience laughing)
Pow, pow.
Pow.
Hey you know what Beaver?
I might ask dad if I can go to Bellport next year.
I thought you wanted to go to Mayfield
with Eddie and the other guys.
Yeah, but I've been thinking.
Who wants to be like Eddie Haskell?
But he's your best friend, isn't he?
Well that's what he's always telling me.
But he's kind of a creepy guy to have for a best friend.
(audience laughing)
Sure is.
You gonna ask dad if you can go to Bellport?
Well not all at once.
You know if you want something real good
gotta be careful how you ask.
What do you mean?
Well, if you come right out and ask them
and then they say no, you're dead.
Yeah.
Sure wish I could go to military school.
You're not old enough yet, Beav.
I know, but I'd sure like to be on sentry duty.
And tell people where is the washroom.
(audience laughing)
Pow!
Well fellows what did you and Johnny Franklin
talk about this morning?
Oh things and stuff.
Oh, seems funny you wouldn't find
much to talk about.
You hadn't seen him in almost a year.
Yeah, well I guess that's why we didn't
have much to talk about.
(audience laughing)
I thought he looked very nice in his uniform.
Dad?
A long time ago you were a kid once, weren't you?
(audience laughing)
Well
I think he was.
That's one of the things that's rather hard to avoid.
Uh huh.
Did you ever ride a horse?
Did I ever ride a horse?
Well I was practically brought up on a farm.
We rode them bareback.
You kids don't know what you miss.
Did you ever shoot a gun?
Well when I was old enough.
I went hunting with my father.
Gee, you must have had a lot of fun
when you were a kid.
I sure did.
(chuckling)
I remember one time my brother and I
Ward, please.
Oh this was my younger brother.
(audience laughing)
Anyway, dad let us take these two horses
and we rode way over
Dad?
Huh?
Could I go to Bellport Military Academy next year?
Well Wally, why would you bring this subject up?
'Cause they got horses and guns there.
But Wally, I thought you wanted to go to
high school here with all of your friends.
Gee dad, it's a real neat school.
They teach marching and wrestling and swimming.
And I'd get good marks.
Couldn't I go?
Well Wally, you wouldn't wanna leave us would you?
Well gee, how else could I go away to school?
(audience laughing)
Well Wally, this is quite a surprise
you sprung on us.
You mean I can go?
(audience laughing)
Well
Well, at least I'll look into it.
But it'd take a lot of thought though.
We'll see what we can do.
Gee, thanks dad.
Mom?
Can we stick our dishes in the sink now?
(audience laughing)
Yes, you may be excused.
Wally, does this mean you really get to go?
[Wally] I sure hope so, Beav.
Huh.
He wants to go to military school.
Well of course he does.
The way you encouraged him.
June, I didn't encourage him.
Well you did all that bragging
about horses and guns.
Well you know military school
might do Wally a lot of good.
He might be very happy up there.
Now listen Ward.
If he's gonna be happy,
I want him to be happy right here at home
where we can keep an eye on him.
(audience laughing)
Of course with all this talk about going away
maybe he's not as happy here at home
as we think he is.
What do you mean by that?
Well I mean he's practically ready for high school.
And he's always had to share a room with his brother.
And anyway, it's perfectly natural
for a kid to wanna get away
from his mother's apron strings.
What do you mean my apron strings?
(audience laughing)
Uh, nothing.
That was a poor choice of words.
It certainly was.
Look, June, Wally brought the subject up.
Now it seems to me that the least we can do
is to get an application and find out about the school.
Then if we're satisfied and if he really wants to go
I think we ought to let him go where he'll be happy.
All right.
You send for the application
and he wants to go we'll let him go
where he's gonna be happy.
I'm glad we agree.
But there's only one thing, Ward.
If he gets homesick or a horse bites him or something,
I'll never forgive you.
(whimsical music)
List applicant's allergies if any.
What's that?
Oh it's an application for Bellport Military Academy.
They wanna know more about our boy
than we know about him.
You think Wally really wants to go?
You know he's gotten excited about things before
and he's lost interest.
Oh June, he's talked about nothing else
for the last week.
They want a picture of him, too.
Send that one in his blue suit.
No, I think I'll send the one in the baseball uniform.
Wally, if you go to the marching school
you think they'll let you bring your horse
home on weekends?
I don't think so.
But maybe you can come up and spend a weekend
with me and the horse.
(audience laughing)
That'd be almost as good as going.
What cha doing, Wally?
Just sorting out my junk.
If a guy's who's gonna leave home
he should put away the stuff he's not gonna use.
But, you won't be leaving for a whole nother year.
Well, yeah.
A guy should do it anyway.
Oh, here you can have my snakeskin.
Wally, did you really take this off a snake?
Nah, me and Eddie found it.
Every year snakes crawl out of their own skins.
I wonder how a snake makes a hole
on top of himself so he can climb out?
(audience laughing)
Oh I don't know.
I guess you have to be a snake to know that.
Yeah I guess so.
Wally, if you go to this marching school.
I guess we won't be going down to the lake anymore
and catching polliwogs.
No, I guess not.
Of course when I go down to the lake
I can always take Larry Mandell with me.
If it's all right with you.
Sure, it's all right with me.
You can take Larry.
No.
Huh?
It takes a certain kind of guy to catch polliwogs with.
[Wally] How come?
Well, first you gotta find a guy
that likes to lay on his stomach.
Well, doesn't Larry like to lie on his stomach?
I don't know, I never asked him.
(audience laughing)
You know something Wally?
[Wally] What's that?
The fun of catching polliwogs
isn't really catching polliwogs.
It isn't? (Slow music)
No, it's lying down with the other guy
and talking.
Yeah, I guess you're right.
Yeah.
Like the time we were at the lake.
We were pretending the lake was an ocean.
And the polliwogs were whales.
And we was on a whaling ship.
Remember, Wally?
Yeah, I remember.
Well, we didn't catch one polliwog that day.
But that was the best day ever spent at the lake.
Uh, yeah.
Well I think we better put this stuff out in the garage.
Yeah, I guess we better.
What are the boys doing out there?
Storing Wally's valuables in the garage.
Getting ready to go to boarding school.
So soon?
Ward, do you really think we'd be doing the right thing
letting him go next year?
Oh June, he's talked about nothing else for days.
I think if he wants to go,
we should let him go.
I suppose so.
You know, I thought we might all drive up
to Bellport and let him look the school over.
Make up his own mind one way or the other.
I better make a sandwich for Eddie Haskell.
Is he coming over?
Uh huh.
Well at least if Wally goes off to school
he'll be away from Eddie's influence.
Maybe we need Eddie Haskell.
What?
Well if it weren't for Eddie
who could we blame Wally's faults on?
(audience laughing)
Hiya men.
Hi Eddie.
He Eddie.
What's new?
Nothing.
There is too.
Wally's going to a real neat military school.
And he gets to ride horses and shoot guns and everything.
No fooling?
Military school?
Yeah, it's up at Bellport.
Yeah?
When did your father get this idea?
(audience laughing)
My father didn't get it.
I got it.
Yeah?
I'll bet you just think it was your idea.
What do you mean, Eddie?
Last year my pop started hinting around
about military school.
About learning to be neat and getting better marks.
But he wasn't getting rid of me that easy.
(audience laughing)
Well gee, I don't think my father's trying
to get rid of me.
Me neither.
Yeah, let me tell you something.
I read it in a magazine.
Legally they can't throw you out of the house
until you're 21.
(audience laughing)
You're goofy, Eddie.
My father's not throwing me out of the house.
I wanna go.
That's what you think.
(audience laughing)
Dad wouldn't do a thing like that.
Would he, Wally?
Wait til it happens to you, you little squirt.
You won't know what hit you.
(audience laughing)
Ah, go on Eddie.
All right, but look at me.
I'm 13 years old and I've been to five different
summer camps.
You don't think my old man's spending that kind of money
just so I can have a good time, do you?
(audience laughing)
Ah, cut it out Eddie.
You're always bragging about how much fun
you have up at camp.
Well I'm smart enough not to let my old man know about it.
(audience laughing)
You guys coming over to Metzgers Field?
Yeah.
Well, we'll be over later.
We've got to have lunch first.
Okay, I'll see you characters.
Wally, it was your idea about military school, wasn't it?
Sure.
When Johnny Franklin came over in his uniform.
That's when I got the idea.
Sure.
How come Johnny Franklin came over?
He never came over before.
I don't know.
I
I guess mom and dad invited him.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(whimsical music)
Say Wally, you have anything planned for tomorrow?
No, I guess not.
Why dad?
Well I have your application all filled up.
I thought we might drive up to Bellport tomorrow
and look the school over.
Uh, yeah.
I guess I could go.
(audience laughing)
Wally, don't you still want to go to boarding school?
Oh yeah.
Well, I guess I do.
Wally, we've talked about it all week.
Now do you or don't you?
Well, gee dad, anything you say.
Could I be excused?
(audience laughing)
What's the matter with you?
How long til I'm 21?
(audience laughing)
Not for a long time, Beaver.
Oh.
Can I be excused too?
Yes Beaver.
Well.
What do you suppose has gotten into Wally?
Guess he doesn't wanna go to boarding school.
Yeah, but why?
(whimsical music)
Ward I didn't say a thing to him.
(audience laughing)
Well dear, just don't look like you have.
(audience laughing)
You already washed your face once today.
Well, I'm washing it again.
Your eyes look funny.
Well I was playing baseball yesterday
and catching flies.
Sun kind of makes my eyes red.
Yeah, I guess it does all right.
Would you mind closing the door?
Sure Wally.
Ward I really think you should go up
and find out what happened to Wally.
So do I.
I'm going up right now and have a talk with him.
Dear, don't be too hard on him.
Remember, we're trying to make him happy.
(audience laughing)
All right.
Dad?
Well Beaver, what are you doing here?
Dad, I wanna talk to you.
Well what is it?
How come you don't like Wally anymore?
(slow music)
Rid of him.
Where'd you get that idea?
[Beaver] From Eddie Haskell.
Eddie Haskell?
Yeah, his father tried to get rid of him.
By sending him away to school.
But he knows the law,
so he's not gonna go til he's 21.
Well Beaver, I don't know what Eddie told you
or what he thought his father's intentions were,
but parents don't send boys away to boarding school
because they wanna get rid of them.
They send them away because,
well because they want them to have certain advantages.
I don't think Wally wants no advantages.
Any advantages.
Any advantages.
Beaver, even before Eddie talked to Wally
I sort of got the idea that he was beginning
to get cold feet about wanting to go away to school.
What do you think?
Yeah.
I think his feet were getting cold.
Even before he talked to Eddie Haskell.
Where is he now?
He's upstairs, and his eyes are red.
From catching fly balls out in the sun yesterday.
Oh.
Well I'll go up and talk to him.
Thanks a lot Beav, you've been a big help.
Oh sure, dad.
Excuse me Beaver, I have to go upstairs
and talk to Wally.
Your father and I have something to discuss with him.
That's okay, mom, I think me and dad
just took care of it.
(whimsical music)
Wally?
Yeah, Beav?
You going up to see that marching school tomorrow?
Nah, dad and I kind of talked it over.
And we figured I wouldn't go to Bellport next year.
How come?
Well, all the other guys are going to Mayfield.
And Eddie isn't really such a creep.
Anyway, dad and I figured you might get in trouble.
Me?
Well yeah.
You know going down to the lake
and catching polliwogs by yourself and stuff.
Yeah, I guess it's not gonna be so bad.
Having you home for a whole nother year.
Yeah.
Well just don't get the idea that means
you can hang around me all the time.
(audience laughing)
Oh no, Wally.
(cheerful music)
(cheerful theme music)
(Universal jingle)