Leave It to Beaver (1957) s01e36 Episode Script

1
(theme music)
[Announcer] Leave It To Beaver,
starring Barbara Billingsley,
Hugh Beaumont, Tony Dow,
and Jerry Mathers as the Beaver.
(lively music)
- Hey Dad, Dad!
- Dad, Dad!
Hey Dad, hey Dad, get up!
Yeah, we got something, we got something!
Hurry up Dad, it's the trap!
What's going on, boys?
It's not even 6:00 yet.
The trap sprung, Dad.
We saw it out the window.
All right, but calm down.
We'll go take a look.
What's going on?
(audience laughing)
(lively music)
Excuse me, dear.
(dramatic music)
I just got the kitchen put back together again.
Must you take it apart?
I'm looking for a piece of string, dear.
(whistling brightly) (audience laughing)
Oh hey, thanks.
If you're flying kites,
I don't think there's enough there.
(audience laughing)
Wally and the Beaver and I are building a trap.
For animals or people?
For animals.
We're gonna catch that gopher that's been nibbling
the tops off your flowers.
I thought we had some gopher traps out in the garage.
Oh, we do, but the boys wanna catch this one alive.
They've never seen a real gopher face-to-face.
Should be quite an experience for the boys.
And for the gopher.
- Wally.
- Yeah.
I don't think I ever saw a gopher.
What's it look like?
Well, did you ever see a rat?
Yeah.
Well, if a rat swelled up and then turned brown,
it'd look like a gopher.
(audience laughing)
- Oh.
Oh, here we are guys.
Now, let's see that stick.
See, first of all, we tie one end
around the stick, like that.
Tighten it up and we'll put the other end through this eye.
Oh, hand me one of those flowers, will ya?
Right through the eye there, and we'll tie the other end
to the flower, like,
like so.
There.
Now, you set the trap like this
and when the gopher goes after the bait,
pulls the string, pulls the stick out,
and springs the trap.
Well, gee, Dad, with all the flowers out here,
why would he go in there just to eat that one?
(audience laughing)
Well Wally, gophers are kind of like boys.
They're extremely curious.
We're counting on that.
Oh hey Dad, can I set it up?
Yeah, sure.
You know, Beav, I bet every guy doesn't have a father
that can think like a gopher.
(audience laughing)
- Yeah.
Well, how's the great, white hunter doing?
Oh, well, trap's all set.
Now it's just up to the gopher to cooperate.
Ward, do you really think you'll catch anything
in that homemade trap?
Oh, I don't know, but I think the boys will
get a big kick out of pretending they're going to.
You know, Ward, sometimes you're
a very understanding father.
(lively music)
- Hey Dad, Dad!
- Dad, Dad!
Hey Dad, hey Dad, get up!
Yeah, we got something, we got something!
Hurry up, Dad, it's the trap!
What's going on, boys?
It's not even 6:00 yet.
The trap sprung, Dad.
We saw it out the window.
All right, but calm down.
We'll go take a look.
What's going on?
[Wally] Come on, Dad, hurry up before it gets away!
- What's that?
- Hurry up, Dad!
In case it bites me.
Wait for me!
Hey wait for me, wait for me!
(lively music)
Well, there's something in there all right.
Whatever he is, he sure wants to get out.
If he comes over here, I'm ready for him.
(laughing)
Well, stand back, fellas.
(lively music)
(audience laughing)
Hey look,
we caught a white gopher.
[Wally] No, Beaver, that's a white rabbit.
Ah, looks like he could've been someone's pet once.
Hey looks kinda scared.
Yeah, look at the way his nose is going.
Looks like he's got an itch.
You're the little rascal whose been nibbling
the tops off our flowers.
What'd ya get, is it anything dangerous?
Yeah, you better stand back.
It's a man-eating white rabbit.
(audience laughing)
Oh, isn't that cute?
Can we keep him, huh Dad?
Yeah, Dad, we never had a rabbit.
Well, well uh, yeah, I guess we could fix up
that old box you fellas used to keep your pigeons in.
Well, I guess we could get started on the cage
as soon as I change clothes.
Well, what do we do with it in the meantime?
That's okay, Mom, me and Wally can take him
up to bed with us, until Dad gets awake.
(audience laughing)
Here, you got him now?
- Yeah.
- Hold him tight.
We can feed him some of Mom's flowers.
There's plenty of them left.
That'll take care of him for awhile, Beav.
Well, looks like we have a little addition to the family.
(lively music)
Well, aren't you happy about it?
Yes, but I was sort of counting on a gopher.
(audience laughing)
Maybe next year.
(audience laughing) (lively music)
There we are.
Now, you boys better get on to school.
I'll put the tools away.
Gee, thanks Dad.
And see, look, he's not twitching so much any more.
Yeah, I guess after he gets used to people,
his nose slows down.
Did you boys think of a name for him yet?
Gee Dad, maybe we outta call him Ward.
(audience laughing)
Well gee, if it wasn't for you,
we never would've caught him.
Well, that's very nice of you, Wally,
but don't you think two Wards in the same family
might be a little confusing?
Why don't we call him Henry.
Henry, well, why would we call him Henry?
I don't know.
It's a nice name and we don't
have any Henrys in the family.
All right, that's settled then.
Henry's his name from now on.
Now, you boys better get on to school.
Okay, Dad.
So long.
- So long.
So long, Dad.
Thanks for catching us a rabbit.
So long, Henry.
Old Henry.
You know I think you look more like a Henry
than you do a Ward.
(clearing throat)
Oh, huh.
- Are we gonna
have breakfast or are you gonna stay out here
and talk to your friend, Harvey?
Oh, that's Henry.
The boys named him just before they left.
- Henry?
- Yeah, Henry.
Mm-hmm.
[Ward] And what's the reason for this superior attitude?
Well, I was observing your friend while you
were building the cage and I believe Henry
is hardly the proper name for
a young lady in her condition.
(audience laughing)
Really?
How soon do you think?
- Soon, very soon.
I think you better tell the boys.
Yeah, I guess I better.
No since having it come as a surprise to them.
If you wanna be subtle about it,
you could start calling her Henrietta.
(audience laughing) (lively music)
I think I wanna go out and look at Henry again.
Beavy, you been out there three times since supper.
If you were a rabbit, you wouldn't like some kid
sticking his face in at ya every couple minutes.
Maybe I can look at him so he
didn't know I'm looking at him.
Well, you can go out and look at him if you want.
You coming, Wally?
Nah, I wanna get my homework done so I
can mess around in study hall tomorrow.
Who's that?
Nobody, just me, Mom.
Where ya going, Beave?
I thought I'd go out and see Henry again.
I'll be right back.
Well, I wouldn't disturb Henry too much.
Oh no, Mom.
- Ward.
- Mm-hmm.
Henry?
Oh uh, well, I got home kind of late tonight.
There's no big hurry.
- I wouldn't wait too long.
- I won't.
Why'd you get home late tonight?
I don't know, dear, there are some days
when you get home late, that's all.
This was one of 'em.
You know, sometimes I think you like working late
down at that office.
Oh sure, it's a regular 24 hour Mardi Gras down there.
Mom, Dad!
Wally!
Mom, Dad!
Well, what's the matter, Beaver?
The rabbit, Wally!
Beaver, calm down.
Henry, I better
Wally!
What's the matter?
A bunch of little rats knocked Henry down.
They're out there biting him.
(audience laughing)
Go get your baseball bat.
Come on, we gotta do something.
Beaver, Beaver, there's nothing to be upset about.
But Mom, you gotta see Henry.
Wally, get one of Dad's golf clubs.
Beaver, the only thing that's happened is
that your rabbit has had babies.
You mean they're not rats?
No, Beaver.
Now, I was going to tell you this before.
You see, Henry is a girl rabbit and she's had a litter
and she's nursing her babies.
That's all that's happening.
You see, little rabbits get their first food
from their mother, just like lambs and calves and well,
all warm-blooded animals do.
Is that true, Wally?
Yeah, I guess so, Beaver.
(dramatic music)
Well, Beaver, this is quite an event, isn't it?
Yeah, we get one rabbit, and all of a sudden,
we got a whole family.
Come on, Wally, I'll show 'em to ya.
Come on, let's us go look.
(lively music)
One, two, there, four, five, six.
Hey, that's pretty good, Beaver.
Yeah, Dad says pretty soon,
they'll start looking more like rabbits.
And in a couple of days, their eyes will open.
Boy, I'll bet they'll be surprised to see where they are.
(audience laughing)
Hey, Larry, did you ever have any babies at your house?
Not real ones, just my little brother.
(audience laughing)
He yelled an awful lot.
I'm sure glad rabbits don't yell,
'cause we got six of 'em.
(audience laughing)
What are you and Wally gonna do with them, Beaver?
I don't know, just watch 'em, I guess.
Maybe, maybe you could give 'em to some of the guys.
Maybe.
Maybe when?
After they open their eyes and they know
who we're giving them to.
Oh.
- Here.
- Thanks.
(audience laughing) (dramatic music)
Larry, I meant give it to the rabbit.
Oh.
(lively music)
- Oh, hi Dad.
- Hi, what are you
up to, today?
I guess I'll just mess around
with Eddie and some of the guys.
Oh, well, where's the Beaver?
I think he's out looking at
the rabbits with Larry Moncello.
Again?
You guys are really fond of those rabbits, aren't ya?
Sure Dad, they're real neat.
Oh say, that reminds me.
I've been meaning to tell you something about them.
Yeah Dad?
Well, just be careful that you don't pick up
any of the babies or handle them while they're this young.
Well gee, how come?
Well you see, rabbits are not really a domestic animal
and if a human touches one of the babies,
their mother's apt to become frightened and reject it,
you know, push it aside.
Oh, what do you mean,
she wouldn't feed it any more or anything?
That's right, so just be careful.
Well sure, Dad, I'll tell the Beaver, too.
Okay.
[Larry] Hey look, one of them's way in back
of the cage away from the mother.
That's right.
What do you think we ought to do?
You better put it back where it belongs.
Yeah, maybe I better.
Hey Larry, it feels funny.
(audience laughing)
Yeah, it feels like pettin' a caterpillar.
(audience laughing)
- We better put him back.
There you go now, right over here.
Well, I gotta get home.
Don't forget, if you and Wally give any of 'em away,
I get dibs on one.
Oh sure, but would your parents let you keep a rabbit?
If I make enough fuss they will.
(audience laughing)
- Oh.
- So long.
- So long.
- Okay?
- Okay.
Thanks! (Audience laughing)
(dramatic music)
- Henry!
- Hi Beave.
- Hi Wally.
- How are the rabbits?
Fine.
Wally, you think it's still okay to call her Henry?
Sure, I don't think she knows we're calling her Henry.
Ah, hey Beave, Eddie and I are going over to look
at the Anderson's new car.
You wanna come along?
No, I've seen a lot of new cars,
but I haven't seen too many new rabbits.
Okay.
Oh, hey Beave, don't touch any of 'em.
- How come?
- Well Dad says
if a human touches any of the babies,
the mother won't have anything to do with it.
Why would Henry do that to her own babies?
Well, if she smells people on any of 'em,
she'll get scared and kick it out.
You mean she wouldn't take care of it anymore, never?
Yeah, it'd probably die.
So just be sure you don't pick any of 'em up
while they're babies.
Oh sure, Wally.
Okay, well so long, Beave.
So long.
(dramatic music)
Gee Henry, I didn't mean it.
Well Beaver, looks like we're lunching alone today.
Yeah.
Wally's out with Eddie and your father's out playing golf.
Mom, when does a kid start
to be a real human being?
(audience laughing)
Well, right from the time he's born.
Oh.
When does a kid start to smell like a real kid?
Well, I never thought much about it,
but I guess, right in the beginning, too.
Beaver, why are you asking all of these questions?
Dad says asking questions is the only way
to find out stuff.
What are you trying to find out?
Nothin', I was just asking questions.
Oh, you want some more milk?
No, thanks.
Anything wrong?
No, thanks.
(dramatic music)
Where you going?
I'm just gonna take a walk, that's all.
(dramatic music)
Mom.
- Yes, Beaver.
Nothing, I just forgot my hat.
(audience laughing) (dramatic music)
- Oh hi, Mom.
- Hi, Wally.
Did you have any lunch?
Oh sure.
Eddie and I had an ice cream cone and two boxes of popcorn.
(audience laughing)
Can I fix you a sandwich?
Oh no, Mom, I'm not hungry.
All right.
Well, I guess I could eat something.
Better fix me a couple.
(audience laughing)
Well, what were you and Eddie up to?
Well, we went over to look at the Anderson's new car.
I thought it was pretty neat.
What'd Eddie say?
He said it was a heap.
Hey Mom, where's Beaver?
Oh he went out somewhere.
If we have an extra rabbit later, can I give it to Eddie?
I think it'd be easier on the rabbit
if you gave it to Chester.
(audience laughing)
- Gee Mom,
don't you like Eddie Haskell?
Well Wally, I'm very fond of him.
That's funny, sometimes I think he's a creep.
(audience laughing) (dramatic music)
- Hi Gus.
- Oh, hi Beaver.
What are you doing?
Nothin', just watching you sleep.
Oh, I wasn't sleeping, just conserving my energy.
(audience laughing)
Oh.
Gus, do you know anything about rabbits?
Well, when you get to be my age,
you know a little something about almost everything.
Uh, if a certain fella had a rabbit
and this rabbit had other rabbits,
and this certain fella picked up one of the babies,
would the mother rabbit let it die?
Well, some rabbits are mighty scared of that man smell.
The mother rabbit just might do that.
Gee, that'd be awful if a certain fella did it.
Beaver, when did you pick up this baby rabbit?
Just about (audience laughing)
About an hour ago.
Oh well, then I guess you got plenty of time
to do something about it.
Is there really something I can do?
Well, you can't reason with a rabbit like you
can a dog or a horse, so you gotta outsmart him.
How do I do that?
I'm just a kid.
Well, first, you get a can of your mother's talcum powder
and you sprinkle a little of it on all the little rabbits.
Will that really do something?
Yup, that way, they all smell the same to the mother.
They don't smell like rabbits,
they don't smell like people.
So, she goes right back to taking care of all of 'em.
(audience laughing)
Golly, gee, that's great, Gus.
I was really scared.
Now there's something else you can do.
That is, if this rabbit's smarter than we think she is.
You get a few drops of vanilla extract,
there must be some around the kitchen,
and put it right on the mother's nose.
Then when she sniffs, she don't sniff rabbits,
she don't sniff people.
She sniffs vanilla.
(audience laughing)
You know something, Gus?
You must be the smartest man in the whole world.
(audience laughing)
Well now, it might look that way to a little feller
like you, but to somebody who's really smart,
tract, huh?
That's right.
Thanks a lot, Gus.
(lively music)
Yeah, they seem to have grown just
since yesterday, don't they?
You know, Dad,
they're almost beginning to look like rabbits.
Ward, do you notice some kind of a strange smell?
- Strange?
- They don't smell
like any rabbits that I used to know.
Yeah, it kind of smells like perfume.
I don't smell anything at all.
(audience laughing)
- Well, we better go in.
Supper's almost ready.
[Wally] What are we having for supper, Mom?
[June] Roast beef.
(dramatic music)
You want something, Dad?
Beaver, did you put something on the rabbits?
Uh-huh, some of Mom's talcum powder.
[Ward] Why would you do that?
'Cause I picked one of 'em up.
Well, didn't Wally tell ya not to?
Yeah, but I picked it up before Wally told me not to.
You're not mad at me, are ya, Dad?
No, but why'd you put talcum powder on 'em?
Well, I put talcum powder on the all the babies
and vanilla on Henry's nose.
That way, they wouldn't smell like people
and Henry wouldn't be scared.
Beaver, did you think of this all by yourself?
No, Gus the fireman thought of it for me.
Oh, well, that's pretty clever.
But why didn't you ask me what to do?
Well, I guess I was scared to 'cause I did something bad
and
- And what?
Well, I kinda figured, you were better at telling us stuff
that we shouldn't do than stuff that we should do.
(audience laughing)
- Oh.
Well you know, Beaver, I hope that today I've learned
as much about children as you've learned about rabbits.
(lively music)
Let's see, I promised one to Chester
and one to Johnny and one to Tooey.
I promised one to Larry, one to Miss Canfield,
and one to Whitey.
Well hey, that's six.
We're all out of rabbits.
(audience laughing)
Yeah, but we still got Henry though.
Wally?
- Yeah, Beave?
How come Henry wouldn't like her babies any more
if they smell like people?
I don't know.
Well, I guess people wouldn't like their babies either
if they smell like rabbits.
(audience laughing)
Yeah, I guess so.
(dramatic music)
(lively music)
(dramatic music)