Leave It to Beaver (1957) s01e38 Episode Script

1
[Announcer] Leave It To Beaver.
Starring Barbara Billingsley, Hugh Beaumont, Tony Dow,
and Jerry Mathers as the Beaver.
Well, how we doin'?
Oh, great.
I haven't burned a thing yet.
Gee, Mom.
Do we have to use knives and forks and napkins?
We might just as well eat inside.
Yes, Wally.
We're gonna use knives and forks and napkins.
Yeah, but hamburgers and corn on the cob,
well, that's mostly grabbin' stuff.
Well, we're still gonna use knives and forks and napkins.
Where are Larry and the Beaver?
Oh, they seem to be having a wonderful time.
When I was upstairs,
they were playing with Larry's football.
In the house?
Oh, it's all right.
They're just trying to fill it with water.
Hey, June.
June.
[June] I'm out here.
Where's "out here"?
Out here in the patio.
Oh, we're eating out here tonight?
No, but I thought we could over the weekend.
Oh, good idea.
Sort of officially open the ant season.
Hi.
Beaver has something he wants to ask you.
What is it?
Well, he'd like to have a friend stay overnight.
This weekend?
Uh-huh.
Oh, I had kind of a hard week.
I was sort of counting on taking it easy.
Well, dear, I think we owe it to him,
and the other parents are always having boys over.
Yeah, I guess you're right.
Well, I suppose I'm to do the barbecuing, huh?
Uh-huh, wouldn't think of depriving you of that privilege.
I'd like to make it as much fun for the Beaver as possible.
And, Ward, when he asks you about it tonight at supper,
will you act surprised?
Oh, don't worry about me.
I'll act surprised.
A friend for the weekend?
Well, Beaver, I understand you have something to ask me.
Yes, Dad, I do.
You're not gonna like the idea, Dad.
It's real goofy.
Wally, I think I can make up my own mind.
What is it, Beave?
Could I have a friend over to spend the night tomorrow?
A friend to spend the night?
Well, I don't think that's such a goofy idea.
Yeah, but wait till you hear who his friend is.
He wants to ask Larry Mondello.
Wally, now, what's wrong with Larry Mondello?
I don't know.
Except he's always following us big guys around at school.
What does he do that for?
'Cause he knows we don't like it.
You don't like Larry 'cause you know he's my friend.
Could I have him over, huh, Dad?
Well, I guess we could, Beaver.
Of course, we'd have to ask his parents first,
make sure it's all right with them.
Oh, that's okay.
They're bringing Larry over
at eleven o'clock in the morning.
In that case I guess it's all right with everyone.
Not me, Dad.
Beaver wants Larry to sleep in my room, in my bed.
I don't want him and that goof messing up all my junk.
We're not gonna mess up your junk.
Larry's gonna bring his own junk to mess up.
Wally, it's not going to hurt you to spend one night
in the guest room.
No, and then you can have a friend over yourself
one of these days.
Gee, thanks.
Tomorrow?
Well, not tomorrow, Wally.
We're booked up.
Okay.
I just hope tomorrow Larry doesn't bring his rat.
Larry has a rat?
Oh, it's just a white rat, Mom.
Huh, it was white when he got it.
You oughta see it now.
(horn honks)
(doorbell rings)
Well, hello, Larry.
Hello, Mrs. Cleaver.
My mother and father dropped me off by your house here.
I'm sorry we couldn't pick you up,
but our car's being greased.
Why didn't your parents come in?
Well, they figured,
as long as you were gonna take care of me,
it'd give them a chance to spend the weekend
with my mother's sister.
She's my aunt.
Well, come on in.
Beaver.
Well, you seem to have come well prepared.
I got my army men in here.
In the other bag I got my football,
my old pants and a dirty shirt to play in.
Do you have your pajamas?
There wasn't room for 'em.
Beaver said I could wear a pair of his.
Hi, Larry.
Hello, Beaver.
I got my fort and my Indians
set up on the floor in my room.
I got my army men.
Come on, let's go kill 'em.
Don't you boys go running off anyplace now
without telling me.
We're gonna have lunch soon.
Your father's gonna barbecue.
Mrs. Cleaver, my mom sent you a box of candy.
Well, thank you.
But they're gonna have to get you another one.
I sat on it in the car.
Well, Larry, sometimes those things happen.
We're gonna have fun, aren't we, Beaver?
We sure are.
Come on, Larry.
You know, Dad, it's funny.
What's funny?
Well, whenever we cook inside,
Mom always does the cookin'.
But whenever we cook outside, you always do it.
How come?
Well, it's sort of traditional, I guess.
You know, they say a woman's place is in the home,
and, I suppose as long as she's in the home,
she might as well be in the kitchen.
Oh, well, that explains about Mom,
but how come you always do the outside cookin'?
Well, I'll tell you, Son.
Women do all right
when they have all the modern conveniences,
but us men are better at this
rugged type of outdoor cooking.
Sort of a throwback to caveman days.
Hand me those asbestos gloves, would you, Wally?
Well, there's no sense in us cavemen burning our hands.
Oh, well, how we doin'?
Oh, great, I haven't burned a thing yet.
Gee, Mom.
Do we have to use knives and forks and napkins?
We might just as well eat inside.
Yes, Wally.
We're gonna use knives and forks and napkins.
Yeah, but hamburgers and corn on the cob,
well, that's mostly grabbin' stuff.
Well, we're still gonna use knives and forks and napkins.
Where are Larry and the Beaver?
Oh, they seem to be having a wonderful time.
When I was upstairs,
they were playing with Larry's football.
In the house?
Oh, it's all right.
They're just trying to fill it with water.
Well, they better not touch any of my stuff.
Oh, now, Wally.
Don't spoil it for your brother.
He has a guest.
Okay, remember, you said
I could have someone over sometime.
Sure, you can too.
Sometime.
Hey, you better call 'em down, June.
We'll be ready to eat any minute.
Well, here you are.
You hungry?
Kinda.
Where's Larry?
Standin' on the front porch.
Well, what's he doing that for?
I don't know.
No onion on mine, Dad.
Beaver, how long has Larry been standing
on the front porch?
I don't know.
Just about a half hour.
Ha, I knew something like this would happen.
I think I better see about this.
Well, Larry, what are you doing out here?
Nothin'.
Something wrong?
Yeah, I wanna go home.
Oh, you came to spend the night, Larry.
But I don't wanna spend the night.
I wanna go home.
Well, why do you wanna go home?
'Cause Beaver hit me in the stomach.
Right where I almost had my operation.
Well, you come on in the house with me.
I'm sure we can straighten this out with Beaver.
I don't wanna straighten out nothin'.
I wanna go home.
You can't go home right now, Larry.
Your father and mother have gone to visit your aunt.
I could go home to my grandmother's.
She lives over by the high school.
I can't drive you way over there right now.
My car is down being greased.
All right, I'll walk.
I never walked six miles before, but I guess I could.
I wish I never came over here.
All right.
You come on inside.
I wonder what in the world
your father could be doing with Larry.
I'll bet Beave had a fight with him.
I did not!
He had a fight with me, and I punched him in the stomach.
A fight?
[Ward] June, will you bring the Beaver in here?
Uh-oh.
Come on.
It, seems the boys had a little disagreement.
So I heard.
He hit me, Mrs. Cleaver.
He hit me right where I almost had my operation.
I hit you 'cause you wrecked my fort.
I wanna go to my grandmother's.
[Beaver] I wish you never came over here.
All right, that's enough, boys.
If Larry wants to go to his grandmother's,
we'll call a taxi.
Larry, Beaver's your best friend.
He is not.
I never liked him at all.
I only came over here
'cause my parents wanted to visit my aunt.
Ha, you asked me all week to come over here.
You're the meanest guy in the whole class!
Boys, that's enough!
Hey, Dad.
What?
I'm on the phone, Wally.
But, Dad.
What?
I think the hamburgers are burnin'.
(Ward stammers)
There, dear.
(Wally chuckles)
Wally.
What?
Well, who am I talking
Would you mind sending a taxi over to
485 Mapleton.
485 Mapleton Drive.
Well, I put the iced tea back in the refrigerator.
That cab come yet?
Not yet.
I called 'em again.
Guess they're a little tied up.
Where's Larry and the Beaver?
Larry went upstairs
to make sure he didn't leave anything of his.
And then the Beaver went up
to make sure that Larry didn't take anything of his.
Oh, well, as long as Beaver had to hit him in the stomach,
I don't see why he couldn't have waited
until after we had our hamburgers.
Well, we tried.
Oh, Ward, there must be an easier way
for our boys to make friends.
(doorbell rings)
I guess that's the taxi.
Hey, Dad.
Yeah?
I cranked the grill up
so the hamburgers wouldn't burn again.
Oh, fine.
Some of them are starting to curl up.
So am I.
You call a cab?
Twice.
Larry, Larry.
He'll be right down.
Larry.
Yes, Mr. Cleaver?
The cab's here.
What cab?
The taxicab to take you to your grandmother's.
Gee, Dad.
Does Larry have to go home?
We were just startin' to have fun.
Have fun?
I thought you two weren't even speaking to each other.
Oh, that was before.
Now, just a minute, Larry.
Fifteen minutes ago,
you insisted you wanted to go to your grandmother's.
Now, do you wanna go or don't you?
Gee, I wanna stay here, Mr. Cleaver.
Yeah, Dad.
You promised I could have a friend overnight.
All right.
All right, you can.
But only if you're sure you're gonna
get along with each other.
I'm sure they will now, Ward.
Mrs. Cleaver, is the food ready?
All this fussin' has made me hungry.
Yes, well, you go on outside,
I'll get the iced tea.
Come on, Larry, let's go.
Oh,
(chuckles)
I guess we won't be needing that cab.
Oh, wait, here, here.
Thanks, thanks for your trouble.
You're welcome.
Well, the hamburgers were cold, and the iced tea was warm,
but, as they say, the spirit was jolly.
Well, there's one thing I'll say for Larry.
The punch in the stomach didn't affect his appetite any.
Oh, the way that boy ate.
It was like watching a mongoose.
I don't think I've ever seen anyone
eat ketchup on corn before.
Where are they now?
Well, Larry and Beaver are up in their room
playing some sort of a card game called fish.
And Wally's out in the garage
taking the nails out of an old box.
What's he doing that for?
I don't know.
Maybe he needs them to make another box.
Oh.
Ward.
Mm-hmm.
How could Larry and Beaver
be hitting each other one minute,
and be playing together the next?
Well, they're just kids.
They haven't learned to hate on a permanent basis yet.
Hey, Dad, look at these neat nails
I pulled out of that old box in the garage.
Say, those are neat, aren't they?
Ah.
Hey, look, Mom.
Wally, what do you need nails for?
I'm gonna give 'em to Tooey Brown.
He's building a doghouse.
I didn't know the Browns had a dog.
Well, they don't.
Well, the way Tooey figures, if he builds a doghouse,
then maybe his father will let him get a dog to put in it.
Oh.
Hey, Mom.
How come I gotta sleep in the back bedroom tonight?
Because Larry's gonna sleep in with the Beaver.
Well, why can't they sleep in the back bedroom?
Because Larry is our guest.
That's the way it always is.
Why should a guest get treated
better than a guy who lives here?
We want our guest to feel at home.
Boy, Beaver really made him feel at home,
hitting him in the stomach.
(laughs)
You still gotta sleep in the back bedroom tonight.
And I want everybody to get to bed early.
Okay.
Boy, this is really gonna be something.
Larry in Beaver's pajamas.
Dad, Dad. (Knocking on door)
Dad, you awake, Dad?
(knocking on door)
Beaver, it's almost 12 o'clock.
What is it?
Larry says he's sick.
Sick?
Where's he sick?
Right down where his stomach starts to grow.
Oh, let's see about it.
(Larry groaning)
What's the matter, Larry?
I feel sick.
Right here.
I think it's one of my appendixes.
(groans)
He woke up a while ago and started makin' noises.
I thought I'd call ya.
(Larry groans)
Larry, has this ever happened before?
Only when I go visiting.
What's the matter?
Larry's sick.
It's one of his appendixes.
I don't think you have a fever.
Let's see your tongue.
Maybe we oughta call the doctor.
You know, with his parents away and all.
Oh, come on, Larry.
Here now, you get some rest.
How many of these have you eaten?
I don't know, Mrs. Cleaver.
It was dark in here.
Gee, Larry, when we ate those two after supper,
you told me they were all gone.
I wasn't countin' the ones under the pillow.
(groans)
My stomach hurts, Mrs. Cleaver.
(groans)
Larry, has this ever happened to you before?
Only when he goes visiting.
I'll tell you what, Larry, I think you've just overeaten.
Now then, we're going to turn the light off,
and you lie back and try and go to sleep.
I'm sure you'll be all right.
But if you're not, you let us know.
You do just what we tell you.
Dad. (Knocking on door)
Dad.
Dad, are you awake?
What?
What is it now, Beaver?
I think Larry's all right now.
Oh, fine.
Thanks for telling me.
Did he do what we told him to?
Well, he did somethin', but it wasn't what you told him.
Oh.
Well, is there something else?
Yeah.
Larry's stomach's kind of empty now.
He wants to know if he can have his candy bars back.
No, he cannot.
Now, come on, both of you get on back to sleep.
What is it?
What happened to Larry?
Nothing new or unique.
Are you tired?
Oh, no more than anyone else would be
who's been up half the night.
Ward.
[Ward] Huh?
Why is it always so much harder
to take care of someone else's
children than it is your own?
Well, it's always been safer and easier
to ruin your own children than someone else's.
Hey, Dad.
Would you go upstairs and yell at Larry and the Beaver?
They got their dirty feet all over my bed.
Wally, Mrs. Mondello just phoned.
She's gonna pick up Larry any minute.
Now, look, let's not have any more trouble
until he's out of the house, huh?
Okay, but, gee, they're just puttin' their feet up there
to make me blow my top.
Wally, now, your father said
that you could have a guest over one of these days.
And when you do, you wouldn't want Beaver to start trouble.
All right, Mom.
Hey, is it true Larry got sick last night?
Rumors to that effect.
Gee, I'm sorry I was sleepin'.
I missed all the fun.
(doorbell rings)
Oh, maybe that's Mrs. Mondello.
I'm going over to shoot baskets at Eddie's.
So long, Mom.
Oh, Mrs. Mondello.
Come right in.
Thank you.
Hello, Mrs. Mondello.
Oh, Mrs. Cleaver.
I want to thank you for having Larry over.
Well, we certainly enjoyed having him.
Didn't we, Ward?
Oh, yes, oh, yes, he's a wonderful little fellow.
He didn't make any trouble, did he?
Trouble?
We hardly knew he was in the house.
Hi, Mrs. Mondello.
We saw you drive up through our window.
Hello, dear.
Hey, Mom, how come you're picking me up so early?
We were passing by on our way home.
Couldn't I stay a while longer?
We wouldn't want to wear out our welcome, would we, dear?
(Ward chuckles)
I guess not.
Well, come on, your father's waiting.
So long, Beave.
So long, Larry.
(Ward clears throat)
Oh, thank you.
Larry, aren't you going to say good-bye
to Mr. and Mrs. Cleaver too?
And tell them what a nice time you've had visiting them?
Oh, yeah, good-bye.
And I had a real nice time visiting with you.
Well, thank you, Larry.
We enjoyed having you.
I'm sorry I got sick from eating,
and Beaver hit me in the stomach.
Larry was ill?
Oh, well, I'm afraid the boys
ate a few too many candy bars.
And I only punched him 'cause he wrecked my fort.
Oh.
Well, thanks again for having Larry.
Yeah, thanks for having me again.
I'll see ya, Beaver.
I'll see ya, Larry.
Where in the stomach?
(June groans)
Well, it's been quite a weekend.
It was a little hectic.
I thought it was swell.
I had more fun than I had in a long time.
Larry and the Beaver had fun.
Wally had fun heckling Larry and the Beaver.
Ward.
Mm?
Do you think we handled everything all right?
Oh, we must have done our duty as parents.
I'm exhausted.
(sighs)
So am I.
(sighs)
Beaver, put your elbows down.
You look like a seagull.
Yes, sir.
I wish we could eat outside all the time
so I wouldn't have to be so polite.
After yesterday, I think we've had enough
of eating outside for a while.
And, Beaver, the idea is to be polite
no matter where we eat.
Yes, Mom.
Hey, Dad, you said
I could have someone over sometime soon.
That's right, Wally.
You can have someone over, sometime.
Gee, thanks.
I'd like to have Eddie Haskell over next weekend.
Gee, Dad. I don't like Eddie.
He's always teasin' me.
Never mind, Beaver.
Wally, next weekend?
But Beaver just had Larry over,
and I'm sure your father didn't mean that soon.
Well, gosh, Dad, I practically already asked him.
And it's all right with his father.
Well, I'll tell you what, Wally.
Eddie spends a lot of time over here as it is.
Wouldn't it be nice
if you spent next weekend over at his house?
Yeah, that'd be a good idea, Wally.
Gosh, Dad, Eddie already asked his father that,
and he said he didn't want us hanging around,
messing up his weekend.
Oh, I see.
But it's all right for you to hang around here
and mess up my weekend.
Well, gosh, Dad.
You're not like Eddie's father.
You're, well, you're too nice a father
to say a thing like that.
Well, I still think that,
Eddie said that?
No, Dad, I told him that.
Oh.
Well, that's very nice, Wally.
But I still think your mother should decide about this.
How about it, Mom?
Well, Wally, I think your father is just nice enough
to put up with Eddie next weekend.
Gee, thanks, Dad.
Now I won't have to call him back and tell him it's off.
(upbeat music)
(dramatic music)