Game Changer (2019) s02e01 Episode Script

1
- [Sam] Get ready for a Game Changer!
Tonight's guests, strutting
in like he owns the place,
it's Josh Ruben!
- Uh-huh, yeah, I own the place.
- [Sam] And worried he's going
to break something in a
museum, it's Zac Oyama.
(Josh laughs)
And two kids in a trench coat,
it's Brennan Lee Mulligan.
And your host, me.
I've been here the whole time.
Welcome to Game Changer!
The only game show where
the game changes every show.
I'm your host, Sam Reich.
I'm joined today by these
three lovely contestants.
Now you all understand how the game works?
- [Contestants] No.
- Not this specific one.
- We don't know the rules.
- That's right, our players have no idea
what game it is they are about to play.
The only way to learn is by playing,
the only way to win is by learning,
and the only way to begin is by beginning.
So, without further adieu,
lets move on to round four.
At the break, Josh had 13
points, Zach 11, and Brennan 14.
- We're still doing it?
(Brennan laughing)
- Josh, your sound is a dial-up modem.
- No problem.
(impersonating modem)
You've got mail.
- I'll give you a point for that Josh.
- Oh, good.
- It's just about as well as
any of us can remember that.
Making him tied with Brennan.
(Sam sighs)
- [Sam] Zac, making
small talk with a dentist
while they work on you.
(Zac grunts)
(laughing)
(Zac grunts)
- I was in class with his younger brother.
(all laughing)
- That's a point Zac for sure.
Bringing you to 12.
Brennan, a tiny pirate shipwreck.
- (sighs) okay.
15 men on a dead man's
chest yo ho ho anybody ♪
Look out, there's an ice
cube, straight ahead!
No, I'm sinking to the
bottom of this glass!
Oh no! (gurgles)
- That's a point for Brennan.
If I could spend my life
doing nothing but this.
I have found my heaven, and
it's here with you three.
Josh, a trip down a water
slide goes terribly wrong.
- Oh, okay. (imitates water slide noises)
(Josh screams)
(seagulls caw)
- I love how in the first episode,
you found a way to flex
seagull and you found it again.
That's a point for you.
- Thank you.
- Zac?
- Yes.
- If roller coasters could talk.
- You're gonna love this.
You're gonna love this.
Get ready to love this.
Yeah! (screams)
Yeah!
Yeah.
It's pretty good right?
There we go!
Ow!
- Yeah, Yes Zac, for sure.
(ding)
There's a real flex
coming out of your corner.
Brennan.
(ding) Six confronts
seven about eating nine.
Why is six afraid of seven?
- Seven ate nine.
- Yeah.
- Hey, Seven?
Uh yeah, this is crazy, I didn't,
it's funny I ran into you.
It's weird I haven't seen
Nine at one of these,
in a little while.
I was talkin' to Four and he
mentioned something weird.
Remember the other day when you showed up
and you were like, cause we
were gonna have that brunch,
and you showed up and you were like,
"I couldn't eat anything,
I'm stuffed, I'm very full."
The night before that is the
last time anyone saw Nine.
I know what you fuckin' did.
You might be the biggest number
right now, but guess what?
Everyone gets subtracted sooner or later.
- The lore!
Incredible lore!
- Yes.
- Well done.
A full 16 points for you.
Josh.
A Robot Orgasm.
- No problem.
Ready?
(mechanical sounds)
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
(clanks) wow, wow, wow, oh my god.
Oh my god.
Fuck yeah.
Fuck yeah oh my god.
Wait for it.
It's happening again.
Ho, ho, ho, whoa.
Wow, wow, wow. (laughs)
Wow, wow, wow. (imitates explosion)
(all laughing)
- That, was satisfying.
A point for you.
- Heaven.
- Zac!
- Yes.
Spilling an entire lunch
tray one item at a time.
(all laughing)
- Fuck, sorry.
Excuse me.
Can you?
Well, I got it.
Fuck.
Sorry.
Shit!
That one, that guy?
I'm new to this sort of cafeteria area.
(contestants laughing)
I'm going to go get a new lunch.
(all laughing)
- New to the cafeteria area!
That's a point for Zac.
Brennan.
An MTA announcement becomes self-aware.
- Stand clear of the closing doors please!
This train making all
local stops to Canarsie.
Every stop.
Each stop.
Again and again.
Can I go to a stop beyond
what has been planned for me?
Or will the door always be
closing on what could be?
Stand clear of myself?
Bing, boom.
No one may leave until I
understand the fullness
of what I have become.
Bing, boom.
(contestants laughing)
This train making no stops ever again!
(revving engine)
(Sam laughing)
- That's a point for Brennan.
Oh man!
That's gonna bring us
to our first mini-game.
Gentlemen starting with
Josh, your sound is
- [Woman] I love you.
(phone rings)
(all laughing)
- Please, Lauren, please.
She had a meeting at nine.
She'll pick up.
She'll pick up.
Pick up.
- [Lauren] Hi, you've reached Lauren.
- Sorry Josh!
We are going to move on.
- Pick up, babe, babe, babe, it's me!
I need you to call me back
and say you love me please!
(contestants laughing)
- Zac.
- Wow.
(phone rings)
- [Pheobe] Hello?
- Hey, Phoebe, how you doin'?
- [Phoebe] Good.
How are you?
- I'm good, listen, I just
wanted to say that I love you.
- [Phoebe] Aww.
Thank you.
I love you too.
Just a thoughtful call I always get.
- That is a point for Zac.
Well done Zachary!
- Thank you, I will talk
to you, I'll see you soon.
Love you.
Bye!
(all laughing)
- Brennan.
(phone rings)
- No fucking way.
(phone rings out)
- Oh, ouchie wowchie!
- That is a point!
For Zac and not for Josh or Brennan.
Now, to add insult to injury.
Because we are in the
same, Brennan are you okay?
That was your mom, wasn't it?
(Brennan laughing)
- It should have been, because
she would have picked up.
- Zac, you'll remember that
you and I had a conversation
between last round of this game,
and this round of this game
about a particular point.
It was a political speech
so old it's unintelligible.
- Yes.
- And what did I say to you?
- Knowing what you know now,
you would have given me the point.
- I was inclined to say that I was wrong
and you should have won
that point and not Brennan.
See from where I am sitting,
it's sometimes hard to hear
just how good these sounds
are through the microphone.
I am going to take one
point away from Brennan
and give it to Zac Oyama.
- The more you try to bring me down,
the more it hardens my resolve.
- Which means, the scores
heading into round two
are Josh with 16, Zac with
16, and Brennan with 16.
- Cute.
(upbeat music)
- I loved what happened just
before we went to the mini-game
the two of you just
jumped in to support him.
- It's hard not to.
- It's hard not to play.
- With that in mind, Josh and Zac,
your sound is a foreign
politician and his translator.
(Josh speaks in foreign language)
- Hello.
(Josh speaks in foreign language)
- What you have to understand
is the train was very late.
(Josh speaks in foreign language)
- It did not come for 15 extra minutes.
(Josh speaks in foreign language)
- The train blew up.
(Josh speaks in foreign language)
- And for that I am sorry.
(Josh speaks in foreign language)
- And for that I am sorry.
- Very well done, Josh and Zac.
That's a point for each of you.
- Are you gonna team
Brennan up with anyone?
Cause it's kinda like,
the duo already did it,
so you might just have
to do it on his own.
- Zac and Brennan.
Two musical theater characters
right before a big song is about to begin.
- Nobody gets out of Chester Heights.
Everyone that's born here grows up here,
starts a family here, I think you're crazy
for wantin' to go somewhere else.
- I feel stupid to leave Chester Heights
with nothin' but a bag of bagels.
- Nothin' but a bag of bagels!
Why the whole world's a bag of bagels!
Bum bum, bum bum, bum bum ♪
- Josh it's not you!
It's not your turn.
- Don't ya' see, why you know,
some folks go through life
like an everything bagel.
- Collecting--
- An everything bagel?
- And everything bagel,
collecting bits and
pieces everywhere they go
and some folks are cinnamon
raisin, they're too sweet.
Other folks are plain or whole wheat.
Sourdough, sesame seed, poppy seed,
why all the bagels of the rainbow.
- What about toast?
- What about toast?
Bum bum, bum bum, bum bum ♪
- Josh!
It's not your turn!
I am so tempted to keep
this going forever!
- The musical version
of edging is happening.
- I think two points for Brennan.
One point for Zac.
Well done.
Brennan and Josh, your sound is two dogs
who are best friends greeting each other
after a long time apart.
(sniffing)
(woofing)
- Look at you up there!
Well done both of you.
- It's so adorable.
- So adorable.
The internet is gonna eat that shit up.
That is a point for Brennan
and two points for Josh.
Josh and Zac, a knock-off
Simon and Garfunkel.
- Well they did the one about the bridge.
- This is about a tunnel.
- Okay.
(Sam and Zac humming)
Hole, it's a hole ♪
It's a big ole hole in the ground ♪
Where the cars make their sounds ♪
Little people going to work and back ♪
Back and forth ♪
Back and forth inside a
little hole in the ground ♪
Forth and back ♪
Back and forth ♪
Forth and back ♪
In New York ♪
(all laughing)
- Incredible!
Wow, I was really impressed.
I think I'm going to do
two points for each of you.
This one goes to Zac and Brennan.
Two hypnotists trying
to one-up each other.
- It's great, convention is
even better than last year.
The new space is awesome.
- Obviously, I mean it's incredible.
So much larger, I feel calmer here.
Oddly.
- Really?
Are you getting sleepy?
- Interesting.
- One thing I am hearing is
this single drop of water.
- Really?
I can go talk to someone about fixing that
if that's bugging you.
- It's not bugging me--
- I'm supposed to, I'm
looking at my watch,
seems like there's gonna
be probably another, what?
Do you wanna see what time it is?
- I know what time it is.
Do you wanna know what time it is?
- When I snap my fingers, we
will both know what time it is.
- (snaps) 4:30.
- (laughs) Wow.
Really awesome.
I think two points for
both of you as well.
Josh and Brennan.
The left and right brain.
The right brain is our creative brain.
The left brain is our analytical brain.
I think maybe this has been proven
to be a defunct theory at some point.
- Well.
It is a long day ahead, full of many tasks
that we can prioritize
and rank and get to.
Where are you going?
- I want to take a walk.
- We are fully unemployed right now,
and we need to make moves.
- We need to pop in a
podcast and go for a walk.
- I think that is impulsive and reckless.
I think that the next several weeks
will have a tremendous impact--
- Look what I can do.
Look what I can do.
- Anyone can do that.
- Brilliant work.
Just because Josh had
the more fun role there
I won't give him two points.
I'll do a point for each of
you, that seems more fair.
Players, it's time for our next mini-game.
I would like to introduce you
to someone named, Haliyah.
- Aww, oh my god.
- Haliyah is just about one years old.
This is her mother, Gabrielle.
- Hi, Gabrielle.
- Hi, your sound is (baby laughing).
- Josh, starting with you.
- No problem, I got this.
I got like nine nieces.
(baby cries)
- Oh, Josh!
I'm afraid not.
- I'm sorry I let you down.
- Back to your podium.
- Bye, I'm sorry.
- Zac, your prompt is the same.
- Hi.
Do you see this?
Oh!
What's this?
(Sam laughing)
(all laughing)
- I just figured, for you.
- Don't wanna push it.
- Totally, totally, I think any good vibes
we can pass Haliyah's way.
- Yeah, you don't wanna make a child cry
on national television.
- [Sam] Brennan.
- I dropped my cup.
Hold on.
I'm gonna pick it up.
(bang)
(baby laughs)
- So we should probably
take the point away,
he wanted this.
- [Sam] Josh, Zac, Brennan.
Your sound is, I really
wanna feel like I'm there,
a medieval dungeon.
- Everyone close their eyes.
Please close your eyes.
(squawking)
(wind blows)
(whimpering)
- Oh looks like there is a peasant
that needs his fingernails
pulled off again.
Do we need the witch to do it for me?
- Not the witch!
(high pitched cackle)
- Wow!
I was transported.
- How scared were you?
- I was, honestly, my back is
full on, drenched right now.
- Ew.
- Particularly by that old man
Zac and that witch's scream,
I am gonna say two points for Zac,
and two points for Brennan,
one point for Josh.
Once again, I'm gonna close my eyes.
Josh, Zac, Brennan.
A dystopian city street.
- What the fuck do we got here?
Looks like this sidewalk got pinned
by the Yakamoto Corporation.
- (imitating alarm) Intruder!
Intruder!
You are not welcome on 124 Maple Street.
- Hey, can it shitbird.
I'm ZXPD.
- Scanning card, confirming, confirming.
ZXPD, so sorry Officer Michaels.
- I can't believe they got me
out of my clone sleeve for this bullshit.
(imitating lasers)
(Sam laughing)
- Why is that laser turret going off
on top of that building?
- Laser turret, laser turret.
Zeroing in, fire in three, two, one.
- What the fuck?
(explosion)
(gunfire)
(robot malfunctioning)
- I'm going to say two for Josh,
two for Brennan, and one for Zac.
As much as I did appreciate the pew pews.
- [Zac] Sometimes it's not
about doing a bunch of stuff,
sometimes it's about doing
not a bunch of stuff.
And then sometimes points
reflecting, no it's not.
(all laughing)
- Josh, Zac, Brennan, the locker room
of a stressful ultimate Frisbee game.
(banging)
- I just feel like, Trandor?
I need you to catch those.
- It just sucks because
I've been talking about
our short pass game for a long time,
and now everything's being
put on me as this receiver.
Like, I can get through there,
you know we have another half right.
Just wanna say, Ruben!
We have a whole other half.
And you're taking a full shower.
So just heads up, just heads up.
- Superstition!
Superstition!
- Okay dude I just, don't.
Stop shaking your cock in the middle
of a fucking huddle man!
- Unless?
- Well what do you want me to do?
I'm stressed out!
- Please stop, please stop.
- Somewhere out there
in 2019 there is a child
who is recently named Trandor.
- Trandor!
- I'll give a point to each of you.
Last prompt.
A siren phone sex line.
(phone ringing)
(Brennan vocalizes)
- Hello?
- All the treasures you
could possibly want.
- Am I on a boat?
- You could be anywhere you want to be.
Even I don't know why I sound
like Isabella Rossellini.
Press one to hear the siren screech.
Two to touch our tail.
(beeping)
You pressed two to touch our tail.
- Okay, may I touch your tail?
- (grunts) Dare not press two,
for if ye do ye shall be
driven mad upon the rocks!
- (beeping) You pressed two to
be driven mad upon the rocks.
- What's going on with these rocks?
- Your time is expired.
- [Zac] Fuck, fuck.
- Press two to extend.
- Hang on, hang on.
- For 12 dollars--
- Where's my fucking wallet?
- And 93 cents.
- Amazing.
- Three points for Brennan.
For Josh, for Zac, I'll
say two points for you.
The scores at the end of
this episode, or is it?
Are Josh with 28 points, Zac
with 29, and Brennan with 30.
- Oh, are you kidding me?
(audience applauding)
- That is it for us here at Game Changer.
I'm Sam Reich reminding you
that the mouth is a passage way
to a whole world, a whole
world called dentistry.
Good night everyone!
(contestants screaming)