How NOT to Summon a Demon Lord (2018) s02e01 Episode Script

[LUMACHINA panting]
--[TRIA] Hurry it up!
--[LUMACHINA] I'm trying!
[gasps]
[BOTH gasp]
[TRIA]
We're being ambushed!
Get back!
[LUMACHINA]
Tria--!
[LUMACHINA screams]
[LUMACHINA]
Tria!
[GEWALT laughs]
[GEWALT]
Oh poo.
No, that can't be the end.
I was enjoying our little game.
Weren't you, Lumachina?
Please, leave me alone.
[LUMACHINA]
God, hear my prayer.
Someone here cannot
hear your voice.
Make your powers known
and lead us out of the dark
with your guiding light.
Aw. How's that plan
working out for you?
You think your angels
can handle all this? [laughs]
If they can grow flowers
in empty fields,
and fill the rivers
with schools of fish.
Wow, your skin is flawless.
I'm so jealous!
[LUMACHINA]
Huh?
[GEWALT] Hello, Beast Mushroom!
You're just in time!
[LUMACHINA gasps]
[GEWALT cackling]
[GEWALT] Don't you hate it
when you try to set an example
of pious purity and then
someone sends along
a Summon to shatter your dreams?
[gasps]
Oh, they went there!
[LUMACHINA]
Please stop. Please.
Can we discuss this?
[LUMACHINA gasps]
I hate it here!
Why'd they stop?
[LUMACHINA]
Um, God?
[SHERA sighs]
This weather is everything!
[REM]
I was gonna say that.
Which means I had
the same thought as you,
and now I'm drowning
in self-hate.
No you're not!
But if you are,
sunbathing naked will help!
Uh, no. Not even a little bit.
[SHERA]
You'll get an all-over tan!
You don't always have to strip!
Elves are such pervs!
Not true!
No one sunbathes
with their clothes on!
It doesn't work!
Okay, fine.
So pick an activity that
doesn't require random nudity!
[SHERA] It's not random
if you're sunbathing!
Quit being such a pooper pants!
[REM]
Get drunk on that validation.
[TAKUMA] Just another day
in virtual paradise.
It's been some time
since Rem and Shera
summoned me into this game.
Cross Reverie.
How am I supposed to
talk to girls?
Right, I'll just act like
I'm role-playing
as Demon Lord Diablo!
[TAKUMA] And I've been
the Demon Lord ever since.
[TAKUMA] I got to fight
Shera's freak brother
and the Greenwood Kingdom
when they came for her.
And then crushed the
Fallen like a champ.
I also released Krebskulm
from inside Rem's stomach
and, you know,
made her my slave.
That was cool.
[TAKUMA] I've done more
than I ever imagined.
Overall, I'd say life as the
Demon Lord Diablo is all right.
I don't hate it.
Tell her! I'm right!
Rem's wrong!
You can't sunbathe
with your clothes on!
It defeats the entire purpose!
Say it, Diablo!
[TAKUMA]
Arm assault!
Assault with two
deadly flesh pillows!
[REM] It's really
not about sunbathing.
She needs to learn
you don't have to
take your clothes off
to have a good time.
[TAKUMA]
And now I'm being stabbed
with the tiniest, angriest nubs!
[REM, SHERA gasp]
We did not come here
to relax or sunbathe!
We came here to
test out a new spell.
So please focus!
Wait, a new what now?
It's called flight magic.
[REM, SHERA]
You're just now telling us?
I'll try it on this log first
then attempt to ride it.
Stand back and watch.
You will do as I command.
I command you to fly!
Adzet!
[SHERA] You did it, Diablo!
You made the big log float!
Yay! Yay!
You're gonna give
yourself a black eye.
[DIABLO] This is nothing
to get excited about.
[DIABLO]
After all, I am Diablo,
the Demon Lord
from another world!
[TAKUMA]
Thank goodness it worked!
Now, let's take it for a spin.
Wait! Where are you going?
Hey! Not too bad!
Whoa! Spoke too soon!
It's still a little bit wobbly!
In the game,
there was equipment
that let you fly
through the sky, too.
Let's see. There should be
some in that dungeon I created.
What's that? Someone's magic?
Wow! It's so pretty!
I wonder what it could be!
[REM]
It's a light.
[TAKUMA] Amazing. I've never
sensed power like this.
[gasps]
Is it wearing off already?
That was quick!
[screams]
[TAKUMA]
I think I lived.
Ouch. That's gonna leave a mark.
[LUMACHINA]
God?
[TAKUMA]
No! Where did that come from?
And why can't anyone leave their
clothes on when the sun's out?
Wow, you're taller and younger.
What now?
[GEWALT] Look what you've done
to my precious Beast Mushroom!
Who do you think you are--
falling from the sky
unannounced?
[DIABLO]
Is that a Paladin?
Have you no respect
for a man's mushroom?
That was the only one I had.
And now it's gone!
You scoundrel!
I don't give a damn
about your mushroom!
Do you have any idea who--
[LUMACHINA]
My savior!
[DIABLO gasps]
[LUMACHINA] Oh You appeared
in my moment of need
like I knew you would.
I've only ever heard
your voice, and have always
felt lonely never
being able to see you!
I'm Lumachina Weselia.
And I've been praying
to you my entire life.
[TAKUMA]
She's just standing there
with her honkers hanging out!
Where're your clothes?
I can't take you
seriously like that.
[LUMACHINA gasps]
[LUMACHINA shrieks]
What's wrong?
[LUMACHINA] How could I present
myself so shamefully
in front of God Himself?
[DIABLO]
Just. Here.
[LUMACHINA gasps]
I hardly know what to say.
I never imagined we'd
be swapping clothing.
Thank you.
It's truly a blessing.
[TAKUMA]
Well, this is awkward.
Do I have a cape "thing"?
[TAKUMA giggles]
So hot!
Wait, why is she
referring to me as God?
[GEWALT]
You weren't clothed by God!
You're covered in filth!
That's an idiot dirty demon!
No, not exactly. You see
[LUMACHINA]
I know that he's God!
He heard me pray to him!
That's why he's here!
He heard me from Heaven!
[TAKUMA sighs]
It's inevitable.
If I'm speaking to--
or around--a female,
I will be interrupted
and then ignored.
Prayers? What kind?
[TAKUMA]
She's got powers, too? Overkill.
Please be very careful, my Lord.
This man is a sinner unworthy
of being your follower.
But his powers
are well respected.
[DIABLO] Okay, slow down,
I'm not a god of any sor--
[LUMACHINA]
Don't say that about yourself!
[DIABLO]
It's true!
[LUMACHINA]
You're God!
No he is not!
You know what, forget it!
I'll just kill both
of you together!
[DIABLO] It sounds like
Lumachina has developed
a strong faith in her religion.
So why would an
agent of the Church
be so interested in
taking away her life?
Oh. That's cute.
You assume because
I work for them
I know what
the Church is thinking?
The reason I want her killed is
because Vishos told me to do so!
I don't understand.
I get it now.
You're a mercenary.
It's all starting to make sense.
[GEWALT]
What did you call me?
Those mercenaries wish they were
worth as much as my toe hair!
That's it. How 'bout a shot of
Hunger Worm for the road!
[GEWALT'S WORM 1A roars]
[DIABLO] Mmkay.
A Level Sixty Hunter Worm.
I guess that's to be
expected from a Paladin.
It's on quite a different level
than the adventurers
in Faltra City.
However! You're
no match for me!
[BOTH gasp]
[TAKUMA] Is that a
Level Eighty Trap Worm?
Now that's what
I'm talkin' about!
A challenge! Gotcha.
[DIABLO]
Rip them apart! Aero Shredder!
[GEWALT coughs]
I hate Elemental Magic so much!
Is that a high-level wind spell?
Your Summons are impressive
even though you're
a total scumbag.
And you seem to know
a good deal about
Elemental Magic
from what I could see.
I'm surprised you didn't
write it off as being too weak.
[gasps] It's much different
when mastered.
Elemental Magic
performs the best
when the power is condensed
into a single blow.
Ah, you've done
your homework I see.
So tell me, Demon.
How many times can you
fire your ultimate spell?
I wanna see!
Oh. I don't know that I have
an exact number for you.
But I'd say about a hundred
Aero Shredders is a good guess.
Don't you lie to me, Demon!
[DIABLO] Heh. Don't measure me
by your standards.
Paladin. You pathetic novice!
Cross Blizzard!
[LUMACHINA screams]
What-- What are you?
[LUMACHINA gasps]
[TAKUMA]
Oh cripes!
Why did I use a freezing spell
when this girl's in
a cape and skivvies!
Dear God. I just
[DIABLO gasps]
Hey. Are you okay?
Yeah. I am now.
Thank you so much for saving me.
Let me be clear.
I am nobody's god.
You couldn't be
more wrong about--
[DIABLO]
Wha-- Wa-Wake up!
[REM]
There you are!
[SHERA]
Diablo!
[BOTH gasp]
Uh--
No! It's not.
Guess it's out with the old
and in with the new.
Please. That's not what this is.
Are you sure about that?
I'm not.
[TAKUMA] Why are they
ganging up on me like this?
That's enough. We need to
get back to the city!
[REM]
Um, you wanna slow down?
[REM]
See? You lived.
I'm so glad you
thawed out, Lumachina.
[LUMACHINA]
Me, too. Thanks for your help.
If it's not too much, could I
ask you two a question?
What exactly is your
relationship with the savior?
Sorry, I zoned out--
did you call Diablo a savior?
Let's see. I guess if
we were to name it,
he'd be our owner.
Do you mean those
are slave collars?
But why? Why would
our God have slaves?
It's not like that!
We put the collars on ourselves!
[LUMACHINA]
You did?
Sorta. It's like an exchange.
When you summon a Demon Lord,
you take on his magic reflec--
What she means is that
Diablo is the leader
of our adventuring party.
Adventuring?
You can't be talking about
my God who saved me?
I need him to be God
and that's it.
Why do you "need" that?
Well, because
He saw me in my
birthday dress. Naked.
--[SHERA gasps]
--Yeah, and?
Oh, that's okay!
We saw you naked, too!
[SHERA shrieks]
What'd I do to you?
[LUMACHINA]
The thing is
It's different for me.
Only my husband
can see my flesh.
[REM, SHERA]
Huh?
Which means, if this Diablo
isn't God or anyone holy,
the only way to make it
right is to marry me.
[DIABLO]
Listen, Klem.
Just stay here until
we know who she is.
Think you can do that?
I understand.
Just keep those yummy
cookies coming my way!
[EDELGARD] I'll stay up here
with the lady Demon Lord.
She might need me. Or not.
Good.
[REM, SHERA scream]
What the hell was that?
[REM hisses] Don't you dare
get an attitude with us,
little miss
naked-in-a-cape girl!
You need to respect the
pecking order in place,
and I'm number one!
So get in line!
Wait. What are you
talking about?
What's all the
commotion in here?
Oh, hello again.
Please reassure me
that you're really God.
[DIABLO]
Hm?
[TAKUMA] I can't just
tell the sweet church girl
she's been hanging out
with a Demon Lord.
And at the same time,
I can't have her
believing I'm God.
Please understand,
I can't reveal my true identity
for many godly reasons.
At least for now.
Uh?
[LUMACHINA]
I understand.
Then for now, may I please
call you Sir Diablo?
[TAKUMA] I mean, yeah,
that would be pretty sweet.
Lumachina, tell me who you are.
You're different. You're not
like the Demon Lord worshipers.
[LUMACHINA]
I'm a simple human.
One who has devoted
her life to serving God.
[ALL gasp]
[LUMACHINA]
But in the Church,
I am known to all
as the Head Priest.
Cool. Can I go now?
Wait. As in the most important
person in the whole Church?
[TAKUMA]
I'm gonna puke.
But now I see why she believed
some angel appeared before her.
[REM]
Lumachina. Dear.
Why would the highest-ranking
member of the Church
end up being targeted
by a Paladin?
It's complicated,
but it has to do with
the Church's Cardinals.
They're the ones who
actually run everything.
It's been revealed to me that
one of them wants me eliminated.
And the worst part is that
many of the Paladins--
the church's military--
they follow Vishos.
He's the Head Cardinal.
I see. But I still don't get why
they would want to kill you.
Huh.
Maybe because I questioned them
about illegal goods and money?
Or maybe because I
ordered an investigation
into how Paladins are acting?
I'm not sure.
[TAKUMA]
I get it now.
She values her morals
more than her own life.
And because of that,
she almost died.
What an idiot. So stupid.
And yet, I think I like her.
So where exactly were you
trying to go when we found you?
Well, you see, I planned to
pass through this city
on my way to the old
Demon Lord's domain.
I was hoping to find
the Head Paladin, Batutta,
who was assigned to that area.
I wanted to discuss the
current state of the Church.
Batutta. I've heard of that guy.
He's a regular man with powers
who involved himself in
the Human-Fallen War.
Very noble.
Yes, that's the one.
I believe he's
someone I can trust.
Once he learns what's happening,
I have faith he'll take action.
I trust that he'd be ready
to protect me as well.
Plus, she--the Paladin
Tria--she told me so.
People lie a lot,
you know. You trust her?
[LUMACHINA] She risked her
life to save mine.
If she hadn't,
then I'd probably be--
[REM]
I get it! It's cool!
So. What happens next?
I mean once they learn
the assassination failed,
they'll be back to try again.
[LUMACHINA] I understand
the risk I'd be taking.
But I'm going to Zircon Tower
no matter what,
and I will meet with Batutta.
[TAKUMA]
Zircon Tower?
I'm pretty sure that's
where I built my dungeon.
That's quite a hike.
Just to meet with some guy.
You shouldn't go by yourself.
Rem and I love adventure!
We could keep you company
and keep you safe!
[REM] There you go
volunteering us again.
But, you're right.
We can't just leave her.
What do you think?
Should we risk
danger and fatigue
for this girl we hardly know?
Yeah! I can't wait!
Um. That would be
helpful but risky.
Lucky for you,
we're adventurers.
--We love danger!
--Yeah we are!
We're weird like that.
I mean, you saw him, right?
Diablo's strong enough
to keep us all safe!
Oh, yes.
I did experience the
Lord's-- Uh, I mean
It would be silly to
worry with him there.
I trust him completely!
[REM]
So what do you say?
Please? Just say yes!
[TAKUMA] Lumachina's sense of
justice is really admirable.
I feel bad about
all she's going through.
But I would rather avoid
church crazies if I can.
The power they possess over
this nation makes me rage.
[TAKUMA] Though. If it's just
escorting her to Zircon Tower,
then chances of those
sorts of run-ins are slim.
It's point A to point B
and then out. Right?
[DIABLO chuckles]
Is it strength you seek?
Then I, Diablo the Demon Lord,
shall lend you my power!
[LUMACHINA]
Thank you so much!
Sir, you have
no idea what this--
Guess who doesn't have
anymore cookies!
If you guessed your favorite
Demon Lord, then you're right!
I need more cookies please.
Um. Who is this girl?
And what is this
dark magic energy?
It's seeping out of every
pore in their bodies.
What the? What's the matter
with this rude human?
She smells like one of them!
I don't like that smell.
Ew! She smells holy!
[TAKUMA]
Figures they'd be able to tell.
Wait a minute. That's not good!
They're gonna fight
and bring me into it!
[yells]
[gasps]
That's a no.
Did you really think
it was a good idea
to fight in front of me?
For what reason?
Because of her smell?
You'd rather stir up chaos
than take your nose elsewhere?
[LUMACHINA gasps]
I apologize, sir.
Fine! But she better
stay away from me!
She'll ruin the taste
of my cookies!
[DIABLO sighs]
[TAKUMA]
This is not gonna work out.
In the end, we decided to
leave the Demon Lord Klem
and Eldelgard the
Fallen behind in Faltra.
Of course, while we were away
Mew got it!
I promise you're leaving
them in the best paws!
Rest assured! Meow!
[TAKUMA] We decided to
leave them with Mei,
the poster girl at the inn.
[SYLVIE]
Yeah, okay. I think I got it.
[DIABLO]
Sorry I can't give more details.
There's no need!
You've done so much for us
already, Deeb-a-rooni! Oh--
[TAKUMA] And with Sylvie,
the Guildmaster.
Absolutely, my dear!
They'll be safe here with me!
[TAKUMA]
We also contacted Celestine,
the head of the Mage's Guild.
I live to protect the ladies!
Nay! I'll die for their safety!
Or my name isn't Emile!
[TAKUMA] That one
might have been a mistake,
but it made him feel relevant.
Then finally,
we departed from Faltra.
Bye! We're heading out
on a job, okay?
Believe me, I'll be fine!
You be careful.
You tend to space out
and wander,
which is most concerning.
I know! Why don't I
grant you a token of my power?
Uh, wait, what?
[KREBSKULM grunts]
[TAKUMA]
No frikkin way?
She turned Shera's
Rare-grade bow into
a Double-Super Rare
ebony bow, just for kicks?
[SHERA gasps]
Whoa!
My bow looks like it's
ready to kill someone now!
Yup. That's what weapons
are supposed to do.
I mean. It kinda looks
like you cursed it.
But I trust you.
[TAKUMA] That's an underground
cheat if I ever saw one.
Leave it to Demon Klem.
You've got Demon Lord powers!
Yay! Thanks to me!
And now!
Rem! Shera! Lumachina!
[DIABLO] Our journey
to Zircon Tower begins!
[REM, SHERA, LUMACHINA]
Yes!
[HORN] Can I interest you
in raiding a new dungeon?
[DIABLO] Arrow of void,
drive a stake into
the boundary between Heaven
and Earth! Gravity Abyss!
[SHERA] This one looks
hard and a bit hairy!