Leanne (2025) s02e01 Episode Script
The Big Hm-Hm
[upbeat theme music playing]
[upbeat music playing]
[music fades]
At the risk of being indelicate,
you are housing that food
like you're headed to the electric chair.
Well, I am a condemned woman.
I'm turning 59 tomorrow,
which kick-starts
my lose-a-pound-a-week campaign.
Fifty-nine, eh?
Yeah.
Next year when I turn the big hmm-hmm,
I'll be so thin,
people will think I'm sick.
Oh.
Every girl's dream.
But let's get back to the 59.
How old do you think I am?
56, you lucky dog.
That's correct.
And how much older are you?
Four years.
So?
-So?
-Do the math.
56, 57, 58, 59.
Yeah, that's not how it goes.
56 to 57 is one. 58, 59…
-No!
-Yes!
Leanne Murphy is turning, say it with me…
-I can't!
-60!
Oh!
I'm so sorry.
Leanne ♪
What's going on over there?
You using ChatGPT to add 56 and 4?
I'm checking out every plastic surgeon
in Knoxville, Tennessee.
[scoffs]
Don't you know anything?
New York is for facelifts. LA's for boobs.
Knoxville's for diabetic shoes.
I gotta do something with this neck,
or they'll hunt me down at Thanksgiving.
Look, I think this is one of those moments
we need to take a deep breath
and just express gratitude
for how gracefully you have aged.
Carol, a skeleton with a sickle is sitting
in the corner and giving me the,
"Oh, hey, girl."
What I'm hearing is
you're still catching someone's eye.
[knocking on door]
Leanne, Carol, let me in.
You get it.
My knees are telling me rain's coming.
[Carol] Mm.
Why hadn't either one of you
answered the phone?
You haven't called.
I dialed your landline.
That was disconnected six years ago.
Then who did I give
my social security number to?
Your father's missing.
What?
One minute he's reading the Pennysaver,
poof, he's gone from our lives.
-Have you tried calling him?
-Of course I did.
And I'll do it again for you just because
I know you all think I'm talking gibberish
like some scat singer.
[cell phone ringing]
Do you hear that too?
I do, Mama.
[cell phone continues ringing]
Well, don't be rude. Answer it.
[lilting music playing]
[indistinct chatter]
Sir, that one's open.
I'm waiting for the gal
to come work the register.
Oh, it's self-checkout.
Not in my America!
[lilting music playing]
No sign of Daddy?
Nope. And now the Costco hot dog man
is worried too.
You didn't get me one?
I did.
It was a long walk to the car.
The lumberjack special you had
this morning didn't get it done, huh?
Let me enjoy my fifties.
Girls, we can squabble
when we're a family again.
All right, we've tried the post office,
the dump, Costco. I'm out of ideas.
I was sure he was hanging with his posse
at the Walgreens blood pressure machine.
Lord, maybe he's been kidnapped.
By someone who wants what,
old cans of paint?
Couldn't your FBI boyfriend put out,
like, an all-points bulletin?
Andrew's in the Pacific Northwest
chasing down the Subaru Strangler.
There's a lesbian serial killer?
Women can do anything men can do.
Amen. Now, think, Mama.
Where else could he be?
I'd say the VFW, but he promised me
that he was done day-drinking
with all those animals.
Would you take it terribly personally
if we went there anyway?
No, it's fine. He's a big ol' liar.
[error buzz]
[checkout voice] Please scan item
before placing it in the bagging area.
I am, you robot whore.
[error buzz]
[checkout voice] Please scan item
before placing it in the bagging area.
Are we struggling a bit, sir?
Were we out back smoking a doobie?
The barcode needs
to be facing the scanner.
I know that.
[error buzz]
-Are you sure? Because the--
-Walk away, skunky.
[checkout voice] Please scan…
-Nope?
-No.
Well, then what took you so long?
Turns out at the VFW, I'm an 11.
They weren't letting me out
without a Busch Light and a slow dance.
You know, your daddy did mention
he might drop by that dollar store.
Is that in any way useful?
Are you frickin' kidding me?
Yes, Mama.
Where he said he was going
could be a clue as to where he is.
Well, great.
How many more of these senior moments
will we let slide
before we deal with what's going on
with Mama and Daddy?
Three.
Leanne!
I tried saying that
the way you say my name.
Carol! That's the way you do it.
Look at that dog.
He's just enjoying the wind.
Hey.
Hey.
[error buzz]
Your mother's a vending machine,
and I stuck my arm all the way up her.
Oh, there he is.
[Leanne] Daddy.
I'm almost done.
Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
-What do you two want?
-We're looking for you.
Hey, what are you gonna do
with a giant plastic margarita glass?
You know, sometimes a guy
just wants to feel fancy.
Can we please call this three?
You've been gone for hours, Daddy.
Mama's worried sick.
Well, it's not my fault. Watch.
[beep]
You son of a bitch!
[lilting music playing]
So, any takeaways from today?
I'll start.
Busch Light, surprisingly creamy buzz.
I've learned your daddy needs
to keep his phone with him at all times.
It pulls my pants down.
I can't help it
I got the hips of a 10-year-old.
-I spent 60 years without a cell phone.
-You can't be wandering around.
-[Daddy John] Everyone was fine.
-[Margaret] I couldn't contact you.
-A man had the freedom to look a cashier.
-We live in an age of miracles.
And you're denying the miracles.
Let's remember our one-at-a-time rule.
I'm serious. Drop me at the VFW now.
[sirens blaring]
What's going on
with all those fire trucks?
Oh, no.
Fire trucks mean firemen.
Carol, fix your hair.
I told you our idiot neighbors
were gonna burn their house down.
It's your house, Daddy!
[firemen speaking indistinctly]
Did you leave the beans on the stove,
or did I?
[fireman] A little help here!
We made beans.
[poignant music playing]
What'd you cook those beans with, napalm?
Hey, you can say what you want to
about asbestos. It stopped the fire.
Okay, girls, thanks for getting us home.
Yeah, we'll call you tomorrow.
Have y'all lost your minds?
You can't stay here.
The kitchen's unusable.
Not a single appliance
or doily has survived.
Don't be silly.
We got a Crock-Pot in the bathroom.
And a hot plate in the garage.
That'll take care
of the rest of the house.
Carol's not upset
you're putting us in her room?
She is, but as we all know,
disappointment is her happy place.
Well, my happy place is my own dang house.
I heard you the first time, Daddy,
but the nice fireman said it was toxic.
Great, now we're getting our science
from a guy who cooks chili
and lifts weights all day.
Okay.
Well, nighty-night.
Hey, does Carol have any Kleenex
in that nightstand?
Hold on.
We gotta start praying harder
for that girl.
Everyone tucked in?
I always said I wanted more babies,
but maybe the dear Lord misunderstood me.
[Carol chuckles]
So, I took the catastrophic fire as my cue
to start researching some facilities.
Old folks' homes?
Independent assisted living.
I wanna take care of them
like Mama took in Grandmama Loretta.
They didn't even wanna stay a night.
What makes you think they'd wanna move in?
Because family takes care of family.
There's a selfishness in what you're doing
that you refuse to acknowledge.
I'm selfish for wanting
to be there for our aging parents?
Just because it feels good to you
doesn't mean it's the best thing for them.
Look, at a place like this,
they'd be with people their own age.
It keeps them social,
keeps their brains alive.
I would like to point out that Mama still
remembers her social security number.
Look, plus, if they fall
in the middle of the night,
there's a guy who used
to play tackle for the Vols,
whose only job is to scoop
their little bird bones up off the ground.
They are getting frail.
And let's face it, so are we.
I'd say you were wrong if I hadn't thrown
my back out brushing my teeth.
[Carol chuckles]
How do we know it's the right time?
We don't, but it's better
too soon than too late.
I hate this.
So do I.
-They're never gonna agree to it.
-Baby steps, right?
We just get them to take a look,
dip their toe in this infinity pool.
They've got those chairs
that dunk you in and out like a tea bag.
[Carol] Mm!
And Mama loves a good baptism.
I still don't think they're gonna move.
Not for us, but they might for each other.
-Divide and conquer?
-Yep.
-Dibs on Mama!
-I call Mama!
Damn it!
[lilting music playing]
I put another quilt in there for you.
It should be nice and cozy.
Good, because last night I was ready
to drill a hole in the floor and fish.
[mouthing]
[mouthing]
Hey, you little cutie. What you doing?
Looking at these new stoves.
What do you think of this one?
Eight burners.
That's a lot of ways
to catch your sleeve on fire.
[Mama Margaret laughs]
You're a hoot.
Mama, can I talk to you about something?
We can talk about anything, darling.
I'm a little worried about Daddy.
His wanderings are happening
more and more these days.
He's a free spirit. He always has been.
Did you know that man
still gets up on a ladder
to clean the leaves out of our gutters.
Thankfully, I did not.
But that's just my point.
I think it's time
to get Daddy away from the ladders.
And jacks up the car
to change his own oil.
He didn't.
Thank goodness he slid out for a lemonade,
or we'd still be hosing down the driveway.
So many cautionary tales.
It's just got me thinking.
Isn't it about time you and I talked
to Daddy about moving somewhere safer?
Oh, you mean farther away
from the Waffle House?
That parking lot does get
a little frisky after midnight.
Have you ever considered,
oh, I don't know,
an apartment complex
with three dining halls
and 24-hour medical care?
I never got to live in an apartment.
It always sounded so cosmopolitan.
Très hoop-dee-doo.
It's just a hop, skip, and a scooter ride
to the magic of downtown Knoxville.
[Mama Margaret gasps]
And I am a city girl.
You know, I never told your daddy,
but I got a bus pass.
So, you'll look?
Oh, uh-huh. But you'll never get
your daddy to move.
He might if he thought
he was doing it for you.
No!
I just asked if you wanted some water.
Yeah, but there's a look in your eye.
That's because I need to talk
to the decision-maker in this family.
He's listening.
All right, this is not my idea, okay?
But Leanne is dead set
on you guys moving to a retirement center.
And she didn't have the guts to tell me?
[scoffs] No.
Now let's get real here.
You've never been more on top of your game
than you are right now.
-You see it too, huh?
-Mm.
Everybody does.
But Mama may have lost a step.
-You think?
-The beans?
[scoffs] We both know it was her.
Yeah, I may have turned a blind eye.
Ah, love will do that to you.
When I see your mother,
I see a 22-year-old,
forever young and spry as a colt.
Mm, that's what we all see.
Now, any chance I could talk you
into taking a tour of one of these places?
-For her.
-Absolutely.
[snickers] Look at those
two idiots in there.
-They got no idea what's coming.
-[chuckles]
[lilting music playing]
I know it's just a tour,
but I'm downright excited.
Plus, we get a low-sodium lunch,
and it's only 11.
John, look. They have weekly excursions
to the Smoky Mountain Speedway.
And a beauty parlor.
You've washed your hair
with a hose for the last time.
[chuckles] Ooh-la-la.
I know these two drive 15 miles an hour,
but do you have to?
Oh, I'm sorry.
Oh, we're this close to closing the deal.
Slap a smile on your face.
-I'm trying.
-Try harder.
Eh, keep driving.
[pensive music playing]
[senior woman] Hey, Carol.
Yeah, yeah.
[grunting]
[grunts]
Still got it.
[coughing]
Carol.
Here.
-Carol?
-Here.
I can hear you, but I can't see you.
Use your wet eye.
Oh, there you are.
Did they lower these seats?
Maybe if you took chair yoga,
it wouldn't hurt so bad.
Oh, I haven't felt anything
down there in 20 years.
Mm.
Is it Visitors' Day?
Well, technically,
every day is Visitors' Day.
You know, for people who have visitors.
Tyler did send us his lawyer.
Had me sign some stuff.
Well, I'm calling it.
It's easier to go to bed
before you lose hope.
I still have hope.
[woman over loudspeaker]
Who's ready for square dancing?
And now I don't.
I cannot do-si-do with you one more time.
You know, the women
to man ratio here is 12 to one.
-Quitters.
-Mm.
Hey. Speaking of quitting,
I've been stashing some pills.
Now, people say it's the coward's way out,
but desperate times.
[country music playing over speakers]
Should we leave a note?
Who would read it?
-[car horn honks]
-Yo, green means go.
I can't do it.
[Carol] Oh no, you gotta be kidding me.
I'm sorry. I just can't.
Mama, Daddy, I may not have
a beauty parlor and a dipping pool,
but I've got a roof and love,
and I promise to do everything I can
to protect both of y'all.
Leanne, that is so sweet.
Hey, pull over.
There's a guy selling gulf shrimp.
Daddy, no one is eating road shrimp.
They're in a cooler, princess.
[lilting music playing]
All right. There's Tums on your right
and Tylenol on your left,
and I have adjusted the thermostat
to a brisk 75 degrees.
You got a bear carcass
I can cut open to stay warm?
I cannot turn it up any higher, Daddy.
I'm going through menopause.
Oh, how many times
are you gonna play that card?
That's not a card.
That's a biological condition.
Rub some dirt on it, get back in the game.
Mom, is there anything
you'd like to add to this?
It's like a peanut allergy.
Menopause is
your generation's cross to bear.
Right.
Okay, well, once we move your things
in here, it's gonna feel just like home.
Aw, you sure we're not a burden?
Good night.
Sorry I bailed.
It was so hot in there, I felt like
I was standing in someone's mouth.
Well, if you can't move your parents
to Florida, move Florida to Tennessee.
[Carol laughs]
Is that sweet tea?
No, it's I-wanna-forget-
today-ever-happened tea.
-It burns.
-Mm.
That means it's working.
[exhales] Good, 'cause it just hit me.
I'm 60 years old,
and I'm back living with my parents.
Oh, stop. You love it.
I do. But I may have underestimated the--
The relentless constant commitment
that robs you of your own life?
Yeah.
We'll get through it. I'll do my share.
-No, you won't.
-Nobody gets me like you.
I'm sorry your birthday
got buried in all this.
Oh, I'm all right. Both my kids called me,
and Andrew sent me flowers.
[Carol] Mm!
And none of them know I'm 60,
so I might just take the win.
[Carol chuckles]
[Leanne exhales]
Sixty.
Sixty.
Sixty.
Where did the time go?
Ah, well, for me,
a good chunk went to Candy Crush.
Hey, listen.
You want to jump in a time machine,
I know a place that'll make a gal feel 19.
Should we tell Mama and Daddy?
Hell no. Sneaking out's half the fun.
-I feel younger already.
-[Carol chuckles]
["My Cherie Amour"
by Stevie Wonder playing over speakers]
La-la-la-la-la-la ♪
My cherie amour ♪
Lovely as a summer day… ♪
Might you be the woman
that I leave my pension to?
I might, Gus. I might.
Quit hogging the talent.
After this dance,
let's get a sandwich
and put some meat on those bones.
I love you.
["My Cherie Amour" continues]
In a café… ♪
[closing theme music playing]
Leanne ♪
Leanne ♪
[upbeat music playing]
[music fades]
At the risk of being indelicate,
you are housing that food
like you're headed to the electric chair.
Well, I am a condemned woman.
I'm turning 59 tomorrow,
which kick-starts
my lose-a-pound-a-week campaign.
Fifty-nine, eh?
Yeah.
Next year when I turn the big hmm-hmm,
I'll be so thin,
people will think I'm sick.
Oh.
Every girl's dream.
But let's get back to the 59.
How old do you think I am?
56, you lucky dog.
That's correct.
And how much older are you?
Four years.
So?
-So?
-Do the math.
56, 57, 58, 59.
Yeah, that's not how it goes.
56 to 57 is one. 58, 59…
-No!
-Yes!
Leanne Murphy is turning, say it with me…
-I can't!
-60!
Oh!
I'm so sorry.
Leanne ♪
What's going on over there?
You using ChatGPT to add 56 and 4?
I'm checking out every plastic surgeon
in Knoxville, Tennessee.
[scoffs]
Don't you know anything?
New York is for facelifts. LA's for boobs.
Knoxville's for diabetic shoes.
I gotta do something with this neck,
or they'll hunt me down at Thanksgiving.
Look, I think this is one of those moments
we need to take a deep breath
and just express gratitude
for how gracefully you have aged.
Carol, a skeleton with a sickle is sitting
in the corner and giving me the,
"Oh, hey, girl."
What I'm hearing is
you're still catching someone's eye.
[knocking on door]
Leanne, Carol, let me in.
You get it.
My knees are telling me rain's coming.
[Carol] Mm.
Why hadn't either one of you
answered the phone?
You haven't called.
I dialed your landline.
That was disconnected six years ago.
Then who did I give
my social security number to?
Your father's missing.
What?
One minute he's reading the Pennysaver,
poof, he's gone from our lives.
-Have you tried calling him?
-Of course I did.
And I'll do it again for you just because
I know you all think I'm talking gibberish
like some scat singer.
[cell phone ringing]
Do you hear that too?
I do, Mama.
[cell phone continues ringing]
Well, don't be rude. Answer it.
[lilting music playing]
[indistinct chatter]
Sir, that one's open.
I'm waiting for the gal
to come work the register.
Oh, it's self-checkout.
Not in my America!
[lilting music playing]
No sign of Daddy?
Nope. And now the Costco hot dog man
is worried too.
You didn't get me one?
I did.
It was a long walk to the car.
The lumberjack special you had
this morning didn't get it done, huh?
Let me enjoy my fifties.
Girls, we can squabble
when we're a family again.
All right, we've tried the post office,
the dump, Costco. I'm out of ideas.
I was sure he was hanging with his posse
at the Walgreens blood pressure machine.
Lord, maybe he's been kidnapped.
By someone who wants what,
old cans of paint?
Couldn't your FBI boyfriend put out,
like, an all-points bulletin?
Andrew's in the Pacific Northwest
chasing down the Subaru Strangler.
There's a lesbian serial killer?
Women can do anything men can do.
Amen. Now, think, Mama.
Where else could he be?
I'd say the VFW, but he promised me
that he was done day-drinking
with all those animals.
Would you take it terribly personally
if we went there anyway?
No, it's fine. He's a big ol' liar.
[error buzz]
[checkout voice] Please scan item
before placing it in the bagging area.
I am, you robot whore.
[error buzz]
[checkout voice] Please scan item
before placing it in the bagging area.
Are we struggling a bit, sir?
Were we out back smoking a doobie?
The barcode needs
to be facing the scanner.
I know that.
[error buzz]
-Are you sure? Because the--
-Walk away, skunky.
[checkout voice] Please scan…
-Nope?
-No.
Well, then what took you so long?
Turns out at the VFW, I'm an 11.
They weren't letting me out
without a Busch Light and a slow dance.
You know, your daddy did mention
he might drop by that dollar store.
Is that in any way useful?
Are you frickin' kidding me?
Yes, Mama.
Where he said he was going
could be a clue as to where he is.
Well, great.
How many more of these senior moments
will we let slide
before we deal with what's going on
with Mama and Daddy?
Three.
Leanne!
I tried saying that
the way you say my name.
Carol! That's the way you do it.
Look at that dog.
He's just enjoying the wind.
Hey.
Hey.
[error buzz]
Your mother's a vending machine,
and I stuck my arm all the way up her.
Oh, there he is.
[Leanne] Daddy.
I'm almost done.
Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
-What do you two want?
-We're looking for you.
Hey, what are you gonna do
with a giant plastic margarita glass?
You know, sometimes a guy
just wants to feel fancy.
Can we please call this three?
You've been gone for hours, Daddy.
Mama's worried sick.
Well, it's not my fault. Watch.
[beep]
You son of a bitch!
[lilting music playing]
So, any takeaways from today?
I'll start.
Busch Light, surprisingly creamy buzz.
I've learned your daddy needs
to keep his phone with him at all times.
It pulls my pants down.
I can't help it
I got the hips of a 10-year-old.
-I spent 60 years without a cell phone.
-You can't be wandering around.
-[Daddy John] Everyone was fine.
-[Margaret] I couldn't contact you.
-A man had the freedom to look a cashier.
-We live in an age of miracles.
And you're denying the miracles.
Let's remember our one-at-a-time rule.
I'm serious. Drop me at the VFW now.
[sirens blaring]
What's going on
with all those fire trucks?
Oh, no.
Fire trucks mean firemen.
Carol, fix your hair.
I told you our idiot neighbors
were gonna burn their house down.
It's your house, Daddy!
[firemen speaking indistinctly]
Did you leave the beans on the stove,
or did I?
[fireman] A little help here!
We made beans.
[poignant music playing]
What'd you cook those beans with, napalm?
Hey, you can say what you want to
about asbestos. It stopped the fire.
Okay, girls, thanks for getting us home.
Yeah, we'll call you tomorrow.
Have y'all lost your minds?
You can't stay here.
The kitchen's unusable.
Not a single appliance
or doily has survived.
Don't be silly.
We got a Crock-Pot in the bathroom.
And a hot plate in the garage.
That'll take care
of the rest of the house.
Carol's not upset
you're putting us in her room?
She is, but as we all know,
disappointment is her happy place.
Well, my happy place is my own dang house.
I heard you the first time, Daddy,
but the nice fireman said it was toxic.
Great, now we're getting our science
from a guy who cooks chili
and lifts weights all day.
Okay.
Well, nighty-night.
Hey, does Carol have any Kleenex
in that nightstand?
Hold on.
We gotta start praying harder
for that girl.
Everyone tucked in?
I always said I wanted more babies,
but maybe the dear Lord misunderstood me.
[Carol chuckles]
So, I took the catastrophic fire as my cue
to start researching some facilities.
Old folks' homes?
Independent assisted living.
I wanna take care of them
like Mama took in Grandmama Loretta.
They didn't even wanna stay a night.
What makes you think they'd wanna move in?
Because family takes care of family.
There's a selfishness in what you're doing
that you refuse to acknowledge.
I'm selfish for wanting
to be there for our aging parents?
Just because it feels good to you
doesn't mean it's the best thing for them.
Look, at a place like this,
they'd be with people their own age.
It keeps them social,
keeps their brains alive.
I would like to point out that Mama still
remembers her social security number.
Look, plus, if they fall
in the middle of the night,
there's a guy who used
to play tackle for the Vols,
whose only job is to scoop
their little bird bones up off the ground.
They are getting frail.
And let's face it, so are we.
I'd say you were wrong if I hadn't thrown
my back out brushing my teeth.
[Carol chuckles]
How do we know it's the right time?
We don't, but it's better
too soon than too late.
I hate this.
So do I.
-They're never gonna agree to it.
-Baby steps, right?
We just get them to take a look,
dip their toe in this infinity pool.
They've got those chairs
that dunk you in and out like a tea bag.
[Carol] Mm!
And Mama loves a good baptism.
I still don't think they're gonna move.
Not for us, but they might for each other.
-Divide and conquer?
-Yep.
-Dibs on Mama!
-I call Mama!
Damn it!
[lilting music playing]
I put another quilt in there for you.
It should be nice and cozy.
Good, because last night I was ready
to drill a hole in the floor and fish.
[mouthing]
[mouthing]
Hey, you little cutie. What you doing?
Looking at these new stoves.
What do you think of this one?
Eight burners.
That's a lot of ways
to catch your sleeve on fire.
[Mama Margaret laughs]
You're a hoot.
Mama, can I talk to you about something?
We can talk about anything, darling.
I'm a little worried about Daddy.
His wanderings are happening
more and more these days.
He's a free spirit. He always has been.
Did you know that man
still gets up on a ladder
to clean the leaves out of our gutters.
Thankfully, I did not.
But that's just my point.
I think it's time
to get Daddy away from the ladders.
And jacks up the car
to change his own oil.
He didn't.
Thank goodness he slid out for a lemonade,
or we'd still be hosing down the driveway.
So many cautionary tales.
It's just got me thinking.
Isn't it about time you and I talked
to Daddy about moving somewhere safer?
Oh, you mean farther away
from the Waffle House?
That parking lot does get
a little frisky after midnight.
Have you ever considered,
oh, I don't know,
an apartment complex
with three dining halls
and 24-hour medical care?
I never got to live in an apartment.
It always sounded so cosmopolitan.
Très hoop-dee-doo.
It's just a hop, skip, and a scooter ride
to the magic of downtown Knoxville.
[Mama Margaret gasps]
And I am a city girl.
You know, I never told your daddy,
but I got a bus pass.
So, you'll look?
Oh, uh-huh. But you'll never get
your daddy to move.
He might if he thought
he was doing it for you.
No!
I just asked if you wanted some water.
Yeah, but there's a look in your eye.
That's because I need to talk
to the decision-maker in this family.
He's listening.
All right, this is not my idea, okay?
But Leanne is dead set
on you guys moving to a retirement center.
And she didn't have the guts to tell me?
[scoffs] No.
Now let's get real here.
You've never been more on top of your game
than you are right now.
-You see it too, huh?
-Mm.
Everybody does.
But Mama may have lost a step.
-You think?
-The beans?
[scoffs] We both know it was her.
Yeah, I may have turned a blind eye.
Ah, love will do that to you.
When I see your mother,
I see a 22-year-old,
forever young and spry as a colt.
Mm, that's what we all see.
Now, any chance I could talk you
into taking a tour of one of these places?
-For her.
-Absolutely.
[snickers] Look at those
two idiots in there.
-They got no idea what's coming.
-[chuckles]
[lilting music playing]
I know it's just a tour,
but I'm downright excited.
Plus, we get a low-sodium lunch,
and it's only 11.
John, look. They have weekly excursions
to the Smoky Mountain Speedway.
And a beauty parlor.
You've washed your hair
with a hose for the last time.
[chuckles] Ooh-la-la.
I know these two drive 15 miles an hour,
but do you have to?
Oh, I'm sorry.
Oh, we're this close to closing the deal.
Slap a smile on your face.
-I'm trying.
-Try harder.
Eh, keep driving.
[pensive music playing]
[senior woman] Hey, Carol.
Yeah, yeah.
[grunting]
[grunts]
Still got it.
[coughing]
Carol.
Here.
-Carol?
-Here.
I can hear you, but I can't see you.
Use your wet eye.
Oh, there you are.
Did they lower these seats?
Maybe if you took chair yoga,
it wouldn't hurt so bad.
Oh, I haven't felt anything
down there in 20 years.
Mm.
Is it Visitors' Day?
Well, technically,
every day is Visitors' Day.
You know, for people who have visitors.
Tyler did send us his lawyer.
Had me sign some stuff.
Well, I'm calling it.
It's easier to go to bed
before you lose hope.
I still have hope.
[woman over loudspeaker]
Who's ready for square dancing?
And now I don't.
I cannot do-si-do with you one more time.
You know, the women
to man ratio here is 12 to one.
-Quitters.
-Mm.
Hey. Speaking of quitting,
I've been stashing some pills.
Now, people say it's the coward's way out,
but desperate times.
[country music playing over speakers]
Should we leave a note?
Who would read it?
-[car horn honks]
-Yo, green means go.
I can't do it.
[Carol] Oh no, you gotta be kidding me.
I'm sorry. I just can't.
Mama, Daddy, I may not have
a beauty parlor and a dipping pool,
but I've got a roof and love,
and I promise to do everything I can
to protect both of y'all.
Leanne, that is so sweet.
Hey, pull over.
There's a guy selling gulf shrimp.
Daddy, no one is eating road shrimp.
They're in a cooler, princess.
[lilting music playing]
All right. There's Tums on your right
and Tylenol on your left,
and I have adjusted the thermostat
to a brisk 75 degrees.
You got a bear carcass
I can cut open to stay warm?
I cannot turn it up any higher, Daddy.
I'm going through menopause.
Oh, how many times
are you gonna play that card?
That's not a card.
That's a biological condition.
Rub some dirt on it, get back in the game.
Mom, is there anything
you'd like to add to this?
It's like a peanut allergy.
Menopause is
your generation's cross to bear.
Right.
Okay, well, once we move your things
in here, it's gonna feel just like home.
Aw, you sure we're not a burden?
Good night.
Sorry I bailed.
It was so hot in there, I felt like
I was standing in someone's mouth.
Well, if you can't move your parents
to Florida, move Florida to Tennessee.
[Carol laughs]
Is that sweet tea?
No, it's I-wanna-forget-
today-ever-happened tea.
-It burns.
-Mm.
That means it's working.
[exhales] Good, 'cause it just hit me.
I'm 60 years old,
and I'm back living with my parents.
Oh, stop. You love it.
I do. But I may have underestimated the--
The relentless constant commitment
that robs you of your own life?
Yeah.
We'll get through it. I'll do my share.
-No, you won't.
-Nobody gets me like you.
I'm sorry your birthday
got buried in all this.
Oh, I'm all right. Both my kids called me,
and Andrew sent me flowers.
[Carol] Mm!
And none of them know I'm 60,
so I might just take the win.
[Carol chuckles]
[Leanne exhales]
Sixty.
Sixty.
Sixty.
Where did the time go?
Ah, well, for me,
a good chunk went to Candy Crush.
Hey, listen.
You want to jump in a time machine,
I know a place that'll make a gal feel 19.
Should we tell Mama and Daddy?
Hell no. Sneaking out's half the fun.
-I feel younger already.
-[Carol chuckles]
["My Cherie Amour"
by Stevie Wonder playing over speakers]
La-la-la-la-la-la ♪
My cherie amour ♪
Lovely as a summer day… ♪
Might you be the woman
that I leave my pension to?
I might, Gus. I might.
Quit hogging the talent.
After this dance,
let's get a sandwich
and put some meat on those bones.
I love you.
["My Cherie Amour" continues]
In a café… ♪
[closing theme music playing]
Leanne ♪
Leanne ♪