Palm Royale (2024) s02e01 Episode Script
Maxine Drinks Martinis Now
1
["Comin' Home Baby" playing]
[Maxine] It was
the beginning of a new season.
Like a rising sun, the dawn of
a new season brings a fresh start to all.
[gasps] Wow!
[Maxine] Bygones stay gone.
Unpleasant memories forgotten.
- [gasping]
- [Maxine] Every trespass passes,
because time and true wealth
heal all wounds.
Maxine Dellacorte.
- Mrs. Dellacorte. Your cocktail.
- [Maxine] Oh.
Thank you, sir.
Ooh. Delish.
Poopers, um, it's not really my drink.
How's about a grasshopper?
- Come again.
- [Maxine] Oh, criminy crickets.
- Where's Robert?
- Robert?
I fear it's going on time
for his big number.
[Maxine] Big number?
[Benny] It brings me
no small amount of pleasure
to welcome
to the stage of the Palm Royale…
You know 'im, you love 'im.
He took a bullet for Dickie Nix.
Robert Diaz!
[singers vocalizing]
I'm comin' home, baby, now
I'm comin' home now, right away ♪
I'm comin' home, baby, now
I'm sorry now I ever went away ♪
Every night and day
I go and stay ♪
- I'm comin' home, baby
- Come on home
- Comin' home, baby, now
- You know I'm waitin' here for you
- I'm comin' home now, real soon
- You've been gone
- Comin' home, baby, now
- You don't know what I'm gonna do
- I'm comin' home, I know I'm overdue
- Since you went away
Expect me any day ♪
- Now, real soon
- Now, real soon
- I'm comin' home
- [singers] Come on home
- [Robert] Comin' home, baby, now
- You know I'm prayin' every night
- That everything is gonna be fine
- Please come home
- Comin' home, baby, now
- I want to feel you holdin' tight
[Robert] Expect to see me now, anytime
- When I'm in your arms I'm all right
- When you're in my arms I'll be fine
- I'm comin' home
- Come on home
- I'm comin' home, baby, now
- You know I'm counting every day
I'm comin' home now
Yeah, yeah, yeah! ♪
Use the phone ♪
- I'm comin' home, baby, now
- And, baby, let me hear you say
I'm comin' home
You're hearin' what I say
That you're comin' home ♪
And I never will go away ♪
I'm coming home! ♪
Come on home ♪
- I'm comin' home, baby, now
- You know I'm waitin' at the door
- They can't hold me back now, no more
- Come on home
- I'm pressin' on, baby, now
- And pacing up and down the floor
Oh, hear me holler, hey, hear me roar ♪
[singers] Say you'll be with me
Gonna be with you ever more ♪
- I'm comin' home
- Come on home
- [Robert] I'm comin' home, baby, now
- Oh, baby, say you're comin' home
That's what I say
I say I'm comin' home ♪
Something's wrong ♪
- The road is long, baby, now
- [scream]
You ought to either write or phone ♪
I'm comin' home
And never more to roam ♪
- Baby, tell me you're comin' home
- Baby, I'm for sure comin' home
- I'm comin' home
- [singers] Come on home
[Robert] I'm comin' home, baby, now
- I'm comin' home
- [singers] Come on home
- Robert!
- [Robert] I'm comin' home, baby, now
- [Robert] I'm comin' home
- Robert!
I'm comin' home ♪
I'm comin' home
I'm comin' home ♪
[song ends]
Max, Max.
- [Douglas] You're in good hands now.
- What? No. Please!
- Can you just calm down?
- Please! No, I don't want that!
- They're trying to help you. Give it…
- No! No! Please, help!
[Douglas] They're just trying
to help you out, Max.
- [distorted chattering, laughter]
- [Mitzi] I'm pregnant.
[elevator bell dings]
[Maxine] No.
It was not the beginning of the season.
It was the beginning of a nightmare.
[Norma] What makes Palm Beach Palm Beach?
[faint clamoring]
[Norma] Any strip of coast has
sun, sand and sea.
[pants]
[Norma] But we have something more.
- Are you coming, darling?
- [kisses]
- Hey.
- [Norma] We have mystery.
You know what to do.
[Norma] And we maintain that mystery
by allowing only glimpses of ourselves.
We are Palm Beach.
The apex of civilization.
[Tom] The man who was shot
is an American hero.
The best way to honor him is
to put away his assailant.
[Linda] Where are we going?
The woman I found
with the smoking gun, literally.
[guard 1] Here we go.
Linda Shaw.
[Linda] I didn't do anything. Please!
[Norma] What would
the mere mortals of the world do
if we gods became known?
[Eduardo] I guess with Linda in jail that
makes our future a little more secure.
[Evelyn scoffs]
That's awfully craven of you, darling.
[sighs] But astute.
[Norma] How our fortunes
would change in an instant.
Tomorrow she'll be moved into
the wives' wing, a club-like atmosphere.
Perfect for the nervously exhausted,
alcohol-dependent
or stubbornly autonomous.
But for what she's in for?
What do you call it?
A Baker hold.
Well, it's essentially a 5150.
A responsible party
can sign her out in three days
if she demonstrates she's no longer
a threat to herself or others.
It was supposed to be my crowning moment.
Can't we just go back?
Go back to the Palm Royale.
Well, of course we can.
Where's Robert?
[Norma] But when gods become known,
they cease to exist.
How did you know my name, my darling?
Maxine has broken with reality.
Whatever medication they're giving her,
she thinks she's at the Palm Royale.
For her sake,
I hope she keeps believing that.
I've ruined everything, Aunt Norma.
Quite the contrary.
You've finally done something right.
Virginia? Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Thank God.
Is Robert okay?
- I don't know.
- But you were there.
You know I tried to stop it, right?
You've got to tell them.
Please tell somebody.
[shushes] Look, you're safe here for now.
Your ass could be in county.
Or worse, federal prison.
This was all Mary.
To be honest, I didn't even see Mary,
but I pulled some strings,
and I got you in here in the nick of time.
Pulled strings? What?
That local cop thinks you did it.
Damn fool.
As long as you're committed,
they cannot arrest you.
Not for three days.
How do you know all this?
How are you in here?
Because…
I'm the man.
[Linda] What…
the fuck?
In times of chaos,
what we of Palm Beach do without fail
is we protect Palm Beach.
We protect our way of life.
From without and from within.
Pinky and I didn't mean you harm.
Can you blame me
for making the most of the moment
as you yourself would have done?
You conspired to turn my beloved home
into a club while I was indisposed.
But now you're not indisposed.
Correct.
For the formerly embolized, now resolute,
a fiery cape of dragon-scale brocade
cuffed with magnificent mink.
[sighs] But you are perhaps,
Evelyn, my biggest regret.
Aligning yourself with that gutter slut
to commandeer my event
and abscond with its proceeds.
I was simply trying to keep
things going as you would have wanted.
Now you're back
and all is right with the world.
Not quite.
Yes, not quite.
H-How is Robert?
Get on with it, Grayman.
Next we have the fabulous Felicity,
outwardly a tropical paradise,
but within a vengeful, flaming phoenix.
It's all so terribly sad.
Linda never could be trusted with a gun.
Rumor has it, Linda's saying
she was only trying to stop Mary.
[Grayman] Sophia is a siren's song
in this dangerously au courant
coral confection. [chuckles]
It's pathetic defense, really,
blaming it all on a crazy birdbrain.
Speaking of birdbrains,
dare I ask, how is Maxine?
Dead.
To society.
She'll never cross the threshold
of the Dellacorte, the Palm Royale,
or any of your simple minds
as long as I breathe.
And a finale.
Presented without comment. [gasps]
Well, what does everyone think? [chuckles]
That it's dazzling, simply dazzling.
Oh… [gasps] …Norma.
Your approval means the world
considering you were once
the love of Axel's life.
Indeed, all he talks about is you.
Oh, a schoolboy's crush. [chuckles]
Brave of you to go through with it
when you're already married.
This is Palm Beach, not Provo.
When Perry disappeared last season,
I had him declared dead for tax purposes.
Legally, I'm a widow.
Still, it's a bit rushed, no?
You're telling me, rushed.
Axel's already at his attorney's,
making me sole beneficiary of his estate.
Well done.
I can't take the credit.
Axel, bless his heart,
felt so guilty because he was the last one
to speak to dear Robert
before he was shot.
He felt so close to the tragedy.
It made him
acutely aware of his mortality.
[echoing] Agnes.
I bet. [chuckles]
Ladies, a party in honor of the happy
couple.
At the Dellacorte, of course.
Oh, you don't have to.
Let the wedding season begin.
One marriage of financial convenience
does not a wedding season make.
Oh, dear, I'm certain that
yours will be the first of many.
[Maxine] What a beautiful day.
Am I right, ladies? [chuckles]
[sighs]
Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes?
I'm leaving.
It's better for everyone.
Leaving? Robert.
Well, what's that mean?
Max, I couldn't sleep last night
thinking about you being here.
You know the Palm Royale is my favorite
place under the sun, forever and always.
I'm just so sorry for what I did to us.
T-To you.
Don't make a scene when we're at the club.
Because when we are
at the club, everything…
every, uh,
teeny tiny thing is perfect.
Max, honey.
[Maxine] Mmm?
How many martinis have they given you?
Mmm. I don't know.
I'm not a mathmagician.
But Robert did just bring me
this delicious grasshopper. [chuckles]
Mmm.
Max, it's only the first day, but, um,
i-if you keep up the good cheer,
I'll be able to take you home
the day after tomorrow, okay?
[kisses]
Do you love her?
[Douglas] No, I don't…
love her.
I'm sorry, I'm suddenly being filled with…
What is it? [breathing heavily]
It's rage.
[stammers] How about I get you
another martini?
I think that would be
in your best interest.
[breathes heavily, groans]
I was definitely right.
Hi.
Ow!
Oh.
Oh, you're so powerful.
Powerful is an understatement,
my beautiful one.
The offseason is
usually a time to regroup,
sober up,
think about what one hath wrought
or what rot one has been subjected to.
But this offseason,
the game is ratcheted up a notch. [grunts]
[grunts]
Your backhand is lethal.
With Linda certain to fry,
we have grounds to contest Skeet's will.
Why would we contest the will?
Linda swore she'd give you
the house and half the trust.
You trust that hippie cooze
to honor a pinky swear?
She's been a thorn
in my hide for 40 years.
Fuck her.
Why settle for half
when we could have all?
God, I love this.
I'm reminded of that Longfellow poem,
"I stand in a fork at the crossroads
of the precipice of life."
You mean Frost, "The Road Not Taken"?
No, I'm certain it's "A…
A fork at a crossroad by a precipice."
Are you sure?
I'm sure, I'm sure. I went to college.
Oh, well, I didn't.
[Virginia] Are you a complete idiot?
I saw what I saw. I can't unsee it.
There's an innocent woman
locked away in a padded cell.
And when her hold is up, she can be
locked away forever based on your word.
So what? We're supposed to
believe your word?
The word of a radical feminist?
My bookstore was an FBI front
to keep an eye on subversives.
I explained it ten times.
Subversives like Linda Shaw.
I caught her with the smoking gun
practically in her hands.
Never heard practically
hold up in a court of law.
Was it in her hands or wasn't it?
She dropped it after she fired.
Or Mary did. At Linda's feet.
Did you not see the initials on the gun?
MD, Mary Davidsoul?
She was radicalized.
Had us locked away in a wine cellar all
night so she could shoot the president.
You'll excuse me.
The boys from Washington just got here.
What do they want with you?
Seems J. Edgar's pretty pleased
with my work on this case.
Offered me a desk right here.
Guess you're not
so special anymore. Huh, agent?
Asshole.
Oh, Linda.
You are so fucked.
[Linda breathes heavily]
Psst. Maxine.
What in the helter-skelter?
Is that Linda I hear?
[Linda] Down here!
[Maxine] What are you doing
in the basement of the Palm Royale?
This isn't the Palm Royale.
We're both at Sunny Tides.
Sunny Tides is a loony bin.
What would two sane women like ourselves
be doing locked up in the cuckoo club?
What kind of pills
have they been giving you?
[Maxine] None.
But I have been enjoying
some delicious martinis.
[Linda] Repeat after me.
"My name is Maxine Dellacorte,
and I drink grasshoppers."
Please!
[Maxine sighs]
My name is Maxine Dellacorte and I…
drink…
grasshoppers.
[Linda] Yes.
My name is Maxine Dellacorte and…
I drink grasshoppers.
I'm Maxine…
[groans, pants]
Well, I think my noggin
is finally defogging.
[pants, gasps]
Linda!
[panting] What is the meaning of this?
Get me out of here!
We can't leave here.
We've been imprisoned by men.
Me by the lawman,
and you by your husband man.
Douglas was just here and…
[breathing heavily]
…so was Robert, and…
[stammers] Where is Robert?
They took Robert away in an ambulance.
If he's… [groans] …still alive,
he'd be in the ICU.
I see you too, Linda.
No, the ICU
on the other side of this campus.
You have to see if he's okay.
- How? [pants]
- [Linda] It's easy.
It's on the fourth floor of the building
that is just beyond the iron fence.
- Got it.
- [gasps] Somebody's coming. I gotta go.
Good luck, Maxine.
Bye, Linda! [breathes heavily]
Okay.
[panting] Where's…
[gasps, pants] Zipper.
Come on, zipper.
[grunts, inhales sharply]
[gasping, breathing heavily]
[grunting, panting]
[gasps]
[groans] Ow.
[breathing heavily]
[shushes]
[breathing heavily]
[a cappella music playing]
[grunts, pants]
Where's the…
[guard 2] We have a code 11
on a Baker hold.
- Repeat, code 11.
- [panting]
- Escapee from the wives' wing.
- Crackers.
Oh, that's me
they're talking about. [panting]
[whimpering]
[orderly] Go left!
[grunts, pants]
[panting]
[siren wailing]
[music ends]
[breathes shakily]
[rhythmic beeping]
[door closes]
[sighs]
[sighs] My poor friend.
[sniffles] You got to pull through,
hear me?
Isn't the world such a rotten place?
We need people like you. [chuckles]
I need a person like you.
Look, if you can hear me, you just lay
there looking distinguished and handsome.
Okay.
I love you too.
[doctor] Mrs. Dellacorte.
- [Maxine] What? Me?
- [doctor] Right this way.
Dellacorte.
- [Norma] Thank you, Doctor.
- Oh, no.
[Norma] How is he faring?
[doctor] He's touch and go. [sighs]
Dare I say, leaning towards go.
Once he wakes up, if he wakes up,
speech will be our first sign of hope.
And from there we can assess him
for brain damage.
Thank you, Doctor.
Had that terrible woman
not come between us,
none of this would have happened.
I will destroy her once and for all.
Oh.
What would my life be
without you? [sniffles]
I pray I never have to find out.
[breathes shakily]
I know who told you about Agnes.
["These Boots Are Made for Walkin'"
playing]
The "Laundry folding
to perfection" seminar is
now under way in the Coconut Room.
And remember, ladies, every morning is
a good morning here at Sunny Tides.
Come and get me.
I told you no more than two miles an hour
on that thing
or I'm taking that chair back!
These boots are made for walkin' ♪
And that's just what they'll do ♪
[phone ringing]
These boots are gonna
Walk all over you ♪
[sighs]
Hello. [sighs]
Douglas, it's Norma.
She's plotting my demise.
That sounds…
Wait, Max, how are you calling me?
I know. I know it sounds crazy,
but I overheard it with my own ears
when I escaped the wives' wing,
and I snuck into the ICU.
When you what from the what
and escaped into the what?
Douglas, it's Norma.
She is evil incarnate.
She-She tried to
drown me off Dinah's boat.
[stammers] She tried to poison me.
I never even got to tell you about that.
- Ouch. [grunts]
- Max, what's happening?
- [grunts]
- Sorry, Mrs. Dellacorte.
All right, I'm-I'm coming
down there, okay?
[song fades out]
Maxine?
[breathing shakily]
[Norma] Dear heart.
Where are you going?
[Mitzi] It was nice of you
to let me stay the night,
but I don't know
if Douglas wants to be involved. I…
Norma wants to be involved.
Palm Beach just… [breathes shakily]
…isn't me.
Then we will make a new you.
Come, sit down.
[breathes shakily, sniffles]
You're scared.
But the truth is, the world is yours.
If you have the courage to take it.
[Douglas] How you doing there, Max?
Oh, come on! Is this necessary?
She bit my ankle.
I am taking this off.
- Sir…
- I am her husband.
I will take full responsibility
if anything goes wrong.
It's your ankle.
[grunts, breathes heavily]
That is rich.
What's rich?
You taking responsibility
for something, anything.
[sighs, smacks lips]
I deserve that.
Oh, you deserve so much more.
[inhales deeply]
But the martinis
this place keeps giving me
is making the piece of mind
I wanna give you a wee milky.
[breathes heavily]
[sighs] That's the thing.
The doctor says that
coming out of an acute trauma…
[sighs] The sedatives
can cause hallucinations.
She will destroy me
if you don't stop her, Douglas.
I heard her.
[stammers] And I am sure that you did…
- [sighs]
- …but you keep thinking
- that you're at the club…
- [sighs]
…Robert is serving drinks.
Palm Beach is a game,
and Norma is playing it without me.
Max, honey,
I know that I gave you a horrible shock,
- but I-I-I need you to stay calm.
- [scoffs]
'Cause that would be
a little more convenient for you?
I want you to come home.
[Maxine] But I won't be able to
if I have feelings, right?
I.e. acknowledge…
that you have gotten
another woman knocked up.
[grunts]
[sighs]
- Oh, don't you… No, no.
- Don't put it like that.
Don't you huff and puff.
It's my turn to huff and puff.
- Why you gotta put it like that?
- [sighs]
Well, let me put it in a way that
will make you more comfortable
because it just seems
like you're having such a hard time.
Look at me.
I'm angry.
[breathes deeply]
But I can't act like I'm angry because
then people will say that I am crazy.
So I have to act like everything is okay.
But it's not okay.
Because in addition to what you did to me,
my sweet Robert is at death's door.
And Linda is locked up. [breathes shakily]
And here I am where I am not allowed
to be angry or crazy.
Well, you just keep lounging in the sun.
[sighs]
Mitzi.
Oh, good. Here you are.
Look, we need to talk about our situation.
[Norma] Yes, we do.
Sit.
Douglas, when I said
you'd finally done something right,
what do you think I meant?
Should this baby take,
and it seems like it certainly will,
it will unlock
the Dellacorte generation-skipping trust.
Scads and scads of money
that's just been sitting
in a Swiss bank collecting
drifts of interest for nearly a century.
But of course,
it must be a legitimate heir,
born from a legitimate marriage.
So, Douglas, you will divorce Maxine
and marry Mitzi before the baby is born.
I just need everything
to slow down. [sighs]
My baby is…
- rich?
- Oh, my, yes.
So, um, it would behoove you,
Mitzi, to continue living here
where your, uh,
incubation can be monitored.
And certainly Maxine's little
Beach Ball crack-up… [chuckles]
…is grounds for annulment.
Conveniently, her stay at Sunny Tides
could be extended for, say,
what, I don't know, maybe another…
[clicks tongue] …five months?
Or, should it be necessary, five decades.
I'm just not comfortable with this.
I need to think about what's…
What's best for you.
Best for the baby.
And of course we'll throw you
a wedding fit for royalty.
Why did you never tell me this?
Because you're stupid, Douglas.
You can never be trusted
to do the right thing.
I am not stupid. [inhales deeply]
I am a man…
who loves his wife,
who sometimes does things
that might seem to be stupid.
But so help me, Norma,
whatever the dumb thing to do is now,
I am going to do the opposite!
I wanna be loved ♪
[Eduardo] All of this is ours? [chuckles]
A room for your birds?
A formal dining room?
[chuckles] Whoa.
Whoa, indeed.
I'm gonna clean up.
Not too clean.
Instead of merely ♪
Don't make me wait.
Holding conversation ♪
Oh, good God,
I'm gonna need money to keep him.
Lots of money.
I wanna be kissed ♪
[squawking]
Starting tonight ♪
[squawking continues]
[peacock calls]
- Mary.
- [sighs]
[stammers] No, Mary, stop.
[Mary sniffles]
Mary! Mary, what the devil are you doing
in the old bootleggers' tunnels?
[inhales deeply]
Will you keep my secret? [grunts]
Sure.
I might have done something crazy.
Oh?
It was me.
It was all me.
What was you, pray tell?
[chuckles] The grand gesture.
Is no one looking for me?
Not yet.
Well, that's disappointing,
on a certain level.
[gasps] Oh. Oh.
And I feel terrible about Robert.
Is he going to live?
- Luckily, seems he is.
- [sighs, sniffles]
And Nixon?
[sighs] Unluckily.
Then I'm innocent.
Not quite how it works, Mary.
[sighs] If I get caught, I'll get jail.
Or worse, Sunny Tides.
My dead husband, David Davidsoul,
sent me there after the birth
of each of my children
and each Christmas time festively…
- Mary. [sighs]
- [sniffles, inhales deeply]
I am doing my best
to keep my house and new lover,
whose beauty is rather intimidating,
and the thought of you
inexplicably popping out of paintings
when we're potentially in flagrante
posits a problem.
I promise not to peek.
Mary, thank you
for trusting me with your secret.
I will guard it with my life.
Now, I will keep you safe.
I will bring you breakfast tomorrow.
You just stay put
until all this blows over, and it will.
It'll just take some time.
Okay.
Evelyn.
Has my life had so little impact?
Stay in your hole, Mary.
[upbeat music playing on speakers]
I thought I'd know more people here.
It's nice that you came by.
For what it's worth, I felt quite terribly
for you the night of The Beach Ball.
[sighs] Well, you're
the first person to say that.
I say one empathetic thing a year,
and now that card has been played.
[inhales deeply]
I wanted to bend your ear.
It's just awful. [breathes shakily]
- Dinah, what is it?
- [sighs]
Axel…
decided to will everything to me
before we even get married,
and now I'm quite riven.
Especially as Norma is throwing us
a party tomorrow to celebrate.
[sighs]
Dinah, I'm lost.
Uh… [stammers] …what is the issue?
I'm in love.
[whispering] What? Dinah.
With who?
Perry, of course.
The Perry I know?
Great. Perry, your husband.
It's good to be in love with your husband.
Alas…
Perry doesn't have any money.
[sighs] Dinah.
[sighs] Look at me.
Okay. [sighs]
We don't know how much time we have
with the people we love.
Choose love.
Dare I ask after Douglas?
Well, he'll… he'll be here tomorrow
to pick me up and…
and take me…
Um, so we'll…
[Dinah] You'll what?
- We'll… [sighs]
- Live together under one roof with Norma?
- While your former nail girl incubates…
- [sighs] No.
…your husband's love child?
Ugh. No.
This reminds me
of the story of Dominique de Marché.
Who's Dominique de Marché?
Oh.
[whispering] Dominique de Marché.
The wife of Charles de Marché,
the marshmallow magnate of Mississippi.
- Marshmallow?
- Loaded.
He impregnated his 21-year-old secretary,
and Dominique was so upset,
he justified putting her on a Baker hold
right here at Sunny Tides.
- Then… Stay with me.
- Oh.
He made such a huge bequest to the board
that they declared her unfit.
[gasps] That's horrible.
She was never seen
in polite society again.
What? Did they kill her?
Might I be plain?
There's another level of plain?
- Yes.
- Please.
I never thought I'd be marrying Axel,
but here I am.
I never thought
I'd fall back in love with Perry.
But I have.
People do crazy things.
When faced with money, they make
choices they wouldn't normally make.
Because money equals freedom.
And, my darling, where are you?
Wake the fuck up.
The offseason?
- Oof… [sighs]
- [Maxine breathes heavily]
She's a killer.
[guard 3] You have five minutes.
Who says?
Now, don't make this harder for me.
Leave us or you'll soon be out of a job.
[stutters] Uh, yes, ma'am.
- Ew. Is that a…
- [Linda] Dead body.
The morgue is down the hall.
Trust me, I'm not getting used to it.
You don't have to.
Do you mind if I take the chair?
Make yourself at home.
You always seem to find yourself
at the center of chaos.
What is it with you and guns?
I've seen your parlor.
I could say the same.
Yeah, peas in a pod.
Make no mistake about it.
They're going to
make sure you fry for this.
You're the poster girl for everything
the government wants to squash.
A radical.
A feminist.
And perhaps the scariest of all…
A woman with her own money.
I guess you know
a little bit about that, huh?
Mm-hmm. Happy to say I do.
I wish they'd question Mary.
Mary has gone to ground.
Besides, she's the hardest
to pin anything on, anyway.
No one can ever remember
when she's even been in a room. [chuckles]
But the gun has her initials on it.
No.
M.D.
Stands for Maxine Dellacorte.
You tell them that
Maxine was behind it all.
I've already laid the groundwork.
All you have to do is confirm it.
She radicalized your feminist group,
taking it over from the inside.
And before you knew it,
you were going along
with her insane plan
to kill the president.
She invited him to the party.
You…
You were merely the trigger woman.
A naive, impressionable socialite…
who got caught up in it all.
Tell them that
in exchange for your freedom.
You really hate her that much?
It's very likely she's going to be
in here for quite some time.
Perhaps forever.
- Just like Dominique de Marché.
- De Marché.
You're ruthless.
Oh, for God's sake.
She's going to be in here anyway.
Let it buy you your freedom.
But she's my friend.
[imitating Linda] But she's my friend.
We play dollies together.
[normal] Being born rich has ruined you.
Look in the mirror.
You stupid, ungrateful brat.
Kevin!
[stammers] Uh, is there a problem?
You have my permission
to get her out of my cell.
You never truly understood
how the world works.
How tragic.
Soon you'll be out of time to learn.
Isn't Linda saying
she was only trying to stop Mary?
She hasn't found a single person
to corroborate that story.
There's us.
Do you like playing tennis
on your very own home court?
- I do.
- Then zip it.
As long as Mary's MIA
and Linda's in jail, we're sitting pretty.
[grunts] Let's take a break.
I think better when I'm physical.
Do I get Linda's money,
help Norma institutionalize Maxine,
then ruin Norma's plans for an heir
by coaxing Mitzi away from nuptializing?
Or do it the other way around?
On the one hand, I'm happy the short-lived
reign of Maxine Dellacorte is over.
On the other hand, I'm feeling a twinge
of guilt about the fate Norma's planning.
- [exclaims]
- [yelps]
[Evelyn] Oh, fuck a duck.
Did I forget myself for a moment
and completely shatter
your sense of masculinity?
I truly am sorry.
[huffs] You don't need to be sorry.
I'm surprised, emasculated,
and completely aroused.
But, Evelyn, don't lose your humanity.
Humanity. [blows raspberry]
- [bell rings]
- [Maxine chuckles, inhales sharply]
Just confirming that my three-day hold
is up today at 2:00 p.m.
Yep.
Well, I gotta get my life back on track.
- [elevator bell rings]
- Because it's 1:45. I'm ready to go.
Actually I've been ready since 7:00 a.m.
Dominique, that is not the way to bingo!
[sighs]
Dominique de Marché?
[ominous music playing]
[breathes heavily]
[Norma] Haven't we all been
through so much these past few days?
- But I am so grateful to Dinah…
- Mmm.
…and Axel for giving us the opportunity
to show the world
how Palm Beach carries on.
- [guest chuckles]
- [Dinah] Yes. Shall we get you a snack?
[kisses] Kiss, kiss. [chuckles]
Thank you.
Right here.
Beep, beep. [chuckles]
- [Axel chuckles]
- There we go.
- [Axel] Oh.
- My darling.
What, sweetheart?
Would you mind if I ran outside
to get a breath of fresh air?
- Of course not.
- Aw. You're a peach.
- I'll be right back. [sighs]
- You will. Okay.
[Dinah] Okay.
I've been neglecting you
for so long, dear friend.
It's high time I set things right.
Finally.
Yes.
[sighs] Finally.
- [kisses]
- [Dinah] I can't do it, Perry.
I can't keep hurting such a harmless man
who knows so many maritime knots.
- Babe.
- I won't be a pawn, like Mitzi.
I am not a pawn. I'm… I'm…
Whoo, what's another chess piece?
The one that can make an L.
That's who I am.
The horse.
Not the horse, Perry. [inhales sharply]
- What I'm saying is…
- Mmm.
…no matter the square…
I'm Dinah Donahue.
Not Rosenhips.
We will find another way back to wealth.
- [inhales deeply] You're the queen.
- I know.
Don't drink too much. [chuckles]
- Fat chance of that. Yeah, here again.
- [Dinah] Hello, Bob and Evelyn.
[Douglas muttering, inhales sharply]
Uh, Dellacorte.
[groans]
Look, sorry, man. I can't talk right now.
I gotta pick up Maxine.
You lost me a lot of money.
It's not my fault that
Norma came back from the dead.
Well, you better find
a way to make up for it, or else…
You get it?
- [imitates slicing sound]
- [person laughs, wheezing]
- [Dominique laughs]
- Um.
Uh, just one more thing.
Could you make that skirt
just a smidgeon longer?
Killjoy.
[laughing continues]
Bert, my usual, please.
Perry?
Dougy Buggy.
Isn't it weird that you're here?
[smacks lips] It is weird, isn't it?
[chuckles]
You know what's even weirder?
Dinah is breaking up
with the old geezer for me
and turning her back on his whole fortune.
You know what I call that?
- Love?
- Stupidity.
Don't be stupid, Dougamus.
I am not stupid.
- [Douglas] I guess I make her crazy.
- [laughing, shrieking]
[Douglas] Truly crazy.
[horn honking]
Oh, Axel.
I can't look at you.
This is the hardest thing I've ever done.
[inhales sharply]
I'm going to be the bigger person.
My darling, no amount of money is
worth feeling like I am robbing you
of the last best years of your life.
You deserve to be
with someone who loves you.
Someone like Norma.
And…
And I do too.
So, I'm going to take a chance.
[breathing heavily]
And choose love.
Say something, please.
I've broken your heart.
I deserve your cruel silence.
I know it's your way.
Your way of freezing me out.
But your withholding is an outrage.
I never realized
how chilly your hands are.
Where are the cuff links I gave you?
Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce you
to the newest member
of the Dellacorte family.
[crowd gasping, murmuring]
[majestic music playing]
Poor, poor Maxine.
[Dinah] He's dead!
My beloved fiancé,
the wonderful Axel Rosenhips,
who I was definitely
not breaking up with, is dead!
- [crowd gasping, exclaiming]
- [Dinah] Is there a doctor in the house?
Hurry!
Please! [sobs]
- [chattering continues on TV]
- [laughing, shrieking]
- [actor] Oh, well.
- Dominique.
On second thought, forget it.
- Darrin would have a fit…
- I need your help.
[actor] I'll do it!
- Try and get me!
- [elevator bell dings]
Try and get me! [whoops]
Dominique. How many times have I told you
to stop that? [stammers, grunts]
Stop that!
- Get out of here!
- [Dominique whoops, laughs]
Dominique, you stop that right now.
[Maxine] It's me. Don't hang up, please.
Please. [breathes heavily]
Look, you've done things to me.
And I've done things to you, too, I guess.
But you, please… You…
You cannot leave me here.
[breathes shakily] Just…
Just give me another chance.
Please.
[exhales deeply]
Goodbye, fellas. Goodbye,
those who gave me shots against my will.
Your ride is waiting.
Thanks, Peg.
[triumphant music plays]
Oh.
Goodbye, ladies.
Goodbye, Maxine.
[melancholy music plays]
Goodbye, Dominique.
I'm so sorry about what happened to you.
Don't come back.
["Comin' Home Baby" playing]
[Maxine breathing heavily]
[rhythmic beeping]
[breathing softly]
[gasps] Agnes.
[Maxine sighs] "Melior de cinere surgo."
[sighs]
Rise from the ashes
in a better state than before.
Thanks for picking me up.
Someone was worried about my humanity.
[Maxine] What I felt in there,
I will never feel again.
And what is that?
Powerless.
You are one tough bitch. [sniffs]
Let's go take Palm Beach.
[Robert] I'm comin' home, baby, now
I'm comin' home now, right away
I'm comin' home, baby, now
I'm sorry now I ever went away ♪
Every night and day
I go and stay ♪
- I'm comin' home, baby
- Come on home
- Comin' home, baby, now
- You know I'm waitin' here for you
- I'm comin' home now, real soon
- You've been gone
- Comin' home, baby, now
- You don't know what I'm gonna do
- I'm comin' home, I know I'm overdue
- Since you went away
Expect me any day
Now, real soon ♪
- I'm comin' home
- Come on home
I'm comin' home, baby, now ♪
I'm comin' home! ♪
I'm comin' home, baby, now ♪
I'm comin' home ♪
I'm comin' home now ♪
I'm coming home ♪
I'm coming home ♪
[music ends]
["Comin' Home Baby" playing]
[Maxine] It was
the beginning of a new season.
Like a rising sun, the dawn of
a new season brings a fresh start to all.
[gasps] Wow!
[Maxine] Bygones stay gone.
Unpleasant memories forgotten.
- [gasping]
- [Maxine] Every trespass passes,
because time and true wealth
heal all wounds.
Maxine Dellacorte.
- Mrs. Dellacorte. Your cocktail.
- [Maxine] Oh.
Thank you, sir.
Ooh. Delish.
Poopers, um, it's not really my drink.
How's about a grasshopper?
- Come again.
- [Maxine] Oh, criminy crickets.
- Where's Robert?
- Robert?
I fear it's going on time
for his big number.
[Maxine] Big number?
[Benny] It brings me
no small amount of pleasure
to welcome
to the stage of the Palm Royale…
You know 'im, you love 'im.
He took a bullet for Dickie Nix.
Robert Diaz!
[singers vocalizing]
I'm comin' home, baby, now
I'm comin' home now, right away ♪
I'm comin' home, baby, now
I'm sorry now I ever went away ♪
Every night and day
I go and stay ♪
- I'm comin' home, baby
- Come on home
- Comin' home, baby, now
- You know I'm waitin' here for you
- I'm comin' home now, real soon
- You've been gone
- Comin' home, baby, now
- You don't know what I'm gonna do
- I'm comin' home, I know I'm overdue
- Since you went away
Expect me any day ♪
- Now, real soon
- Now, real soon
- I'm comin' home
- [singers] Come on home
- [Robert] Comin' home, baby, now
- You know I'm prayin' every night
- That everything is gonna be fine
- Please come home
- Comin' home, baby, now
- I want to feel you holdin' tight
[Robert] Expect to see me now, anytime
- When I'm in your arms I'm all right
- When you're in my arms I'll be fine
- I'm comin' home
- Come on home
- I'm comin' home, baby, now
- You know I'm counting every day
I'm comin' home now
Yeah, yeah, yeah! ♪
Use the phone ♪
- I'm comin' home, baby, now
- And, baby, let me hear you say
I'm comin' home
You're hearin' what I say
That you're comin' home ♪
And I never will go away ♪
I'm coming home! ♪
Come on home ♪
- I'm comin' home, baby, now
- You know I'm waitin' at the door
- They can't hold me back now, no more
- Come on home
- I'm pressin' on, baby, now
- And pacing up and down the floor
Oh, hear me holler, hey, hear me roar ♪
[singers] Say you'll be with me
Gonna be with you ever more ♪
- I'm comin' home
- Come on home
- [Robert] I'm comin' home, baby, now
- Oh, baby, say you're comin' home
That's what I say
I say I'm comin' home ♪
Something's wrong ♪
- The road is long, baby, now
- [scream]
You ought to either write or phone ♪
I'm comin' home
And never more to roam ♪
- Baby, tell me you're comin' home
- Baby, I'm for sure comin' home
- I'm comin' home
- [singers] Come on home
[Robert] I'm comin' home, baby, now
- I'm comin' home
- [singers] Come on home
- Robert!
- [Robert] I'm comin' home, baby, now
- [Robert] I'm comin' home
- Robert!
I'm comin' home ♪
I'm comin' home
I'm comin' home ♪
[song ends]
Max, Max.
- [Douglas] You're in good hands now.
- What? No. Please!
- Can you just calm down?
- Please! No, I don't want that!
- They're trying to help you. Give it…
- No! No! Please, help!
[Douglas] They're just trying
to help you out, Max.
- [distorted chattering, laughter]
- [Mitzi] I'm pregnant.
[elevator bell dings]
[Maxine] No.
It was not the beginning of the season.
It was the beginning of a nightmare.
[Norma] What makes Palm Beach Palm Beach?
[faint clamoring]
[Norma] Any strip of coast has
sun, sand and sea.
[pants]
[Norma] But we have something more.
- Are you coming, darling?
- [kisses]
- Hey.
- [Norma] We have mystery.
You know what to do.
[Norma] And we maintain that mystery
by allowing only glimpses of ourselves.
We are Palm Beach.
The apex of civilization.
[Tom] The man who was shot
is an American hero.
The best way to honor him is
to put away his assailant.
[Linda] Where are we going?
The woman I found
with the smoking gun, literally.
[guard 1] Here we go.
Linda Shaw.
[Linda] I didn't do anything. Please!
[Norma] What would
the mere mortals of the world do
if we gods became known?
[Eduardo] I guess with Linda in jail that
makes our future a little more secure.
[Evelyn scoffs]
That's awfully craven of you, darling.
[sighs] But astute.
[Norma] How our fortunes
would change in an instant.
Tomorrow she'll be moved into
the wives' wing, a club-like atmosphere.
Perfect for the nervously exhausted,
alcohol-dependent
or stubbornly autonomous.
But for what she's in for?
What do you call it?
A Baker hold.
Well, it's essentially a 5150.
A responsible party
can sign her out in three days
if she demonstrates she's no longer
a threat to herself or others.
It was supposed to be my crowning moment.
Can't we just go back?
Go back to the Palm Royale.
Well, of course we can.
Where's Robert?
[Norma] But when gods become known,
they cease to exist.
How did you know my name, my darling?
Maxine has broken with reality.
Whatever medication they're giving her,
she thinks she's at the Palm Royale.
For her sake,
I hope she keeps believing that.
I've ruined everything, Aunt Norma.
Quite the contrary.
You've finally done something right.
Virginia? Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Thank God.
Is Robert okay?
- I don't know.
- But you were there.
You know I tried to stop it, right?
You've got to tell them.
Please tell somebody.
[shushes] Look, you're safe here for now.
Your ass could be in county.
Or worse, federal prison.
This was all Mary.
To be honest, I didn't even see Mary,
but I pulled some strings,
and I got you in here in the nick of time.
Pulled strings? What?
That local cop thinks you did it.
Damn fool.
As long as you're committed,
they cannot arrest you.
Not for three days.
How do you know all this?
How are you in here?
Because…
I'm the man.
[Linda] What…
the fuck?
In times of chaos,
what we of Palm Beach do without fail
is we protect Palm Beach.
We protect our way of life.
From without and from within.
Pinky and I didn't mean you harm.
Can you blame me
for making the most of the moment
as you yourself would have done?
You conspired to turn my beloved home
into a club while I was indisposed.
But now you're not indisposed.
Correct.
For the formerly embolized, now resolute,
a fiery cape of dragon-scale brocade
cuffed with magnificent mink.
[sighs] But you are perhaps,
Evelyn, my biggest regret.
Aligning yourself with that gutter slut
to commandeer my event
and abscond with its proceeds.
I was simply trying to keep
things going as you would have wanted.
Now you're back
and all is right with the world.
Not quite.
Yes, not quite.
H-How is Robert?
Get on with it, Grayman.
Next we have the fabulous Felicity,
outwardly a tropical paradise,
but within a vengeful, flaming phoenix.
It's all so terribly sad.
Linda never could be trusted with a gun.
Rumor has it, Linda's saying
she was only trying to stop Mary.
[Grayman] Sophia is a siren's song
in this dangerously au courant
coral confection. [chuckles]
It's pathetic defense, really,
blaming it all on a crazy birdbrain.
Speaking of birdbrains,
dare I ask, how is Maxine?
Dead.
To society.
She'll never cross the threshold
of the Dellacorte, the Palm Royale,
or any of your simple minds
as long as I breathe.
And a finale.
Presented without comment. [gasps]
Well, what does everyone think? [chuckles]
That it's dazzling, simply dazzling.
Oh… [gasps] …Norma.
Your approval means the world
considering you were once
the love of Axel's life.
Indeed, all he talks about is you.
Oh, a schoolboy's crush. [chuckles]
Brave of you to go through with it
when you're already married.
This is Palm Beach, not Provo.
When Perry disappeared last season,
I had him declared dead for tax purposes.
Legally, I'm a widow.
Still, it's a bit rushed, no?
You're telling me, rushed.
Axel's already at his attorney's,
making me sole beneficiary of his estate.
Well done.
I can't take the credit.
Axel, bless his heart,
felt so guilty because he was the last one
to speak to dear Robert
before he was shot.
He felt so close to the tragedy.
It made him
acutely aware of his mortality.
[echoing] Agnes.
I bet. [chuckles]
Ladies, a party in honor of the happy
couple.
At the Dellacorte, of course.
Oh, you don't have to.
Let the wedding season begin.
One marriage of financial convenience
does not a wedding season make.
Oh, dear, I'm certain that
yours will be the first of many.
[Maxine] What a beautiful day.
Am I right, ladies? [chuckles]
[sighs]
Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes?
I'm leaving.
It's better for everyone.
Leaving? Robert.
Well, what's that mean?
Max, I couldn't sleep last night
thinking about you being here.
You know the Palm Royale is my favorite
place under the sun, forever and always.
I'm just so sorry for what I did to us.
T-To you.
Don't make a scene when we're at the club.
Because when we are
at the club, everything…
every, uh,
teeny tiny thing is perfect.
Max, honey.
[Maxine] Mmm?
How many martinis have they given you?
Mmm. I don't know.
I'm not a mathmagician.
But Robert did just bring me
this delicious grasshopper. [chuckles]
Mmm.
Max, it's only the first day, but, um,
i-if you keep up the good cheer,
I'll be able to take you home
the day after tomorrow, okay?
[kisses]
Do you love her?
[Douglas] No, I don't…
love her.
I'm sorry, I'm suddenly being filled with…
What is it? [breathing heavily]
It's rage.
[stammers] How about I get you
another martini?
I think that would be
in your best interest.
[breathes heavily, groans]
I was definitely right.
Hi.
Ow!
Oh.
Oh, you're so powerful.
Powerful is an understatement,
my beautiful one.
The offseason is
usually a time to regroup,
sober up,
think about what one hath wrought
or what rot one has been subjected to.
But this offseason,
the game is ratcheted up a notch. [grunts]
[grunts]
Your backhand is lethal.
With Linda certain to fry,
we have grounds to contest Skeet's will.
Why would we contest the will?
Linda swore she'd give you
the house and half the trust.
You trust that hippie cooze
to honor a pinky swear?
She's been a thorn
in my hide for 40 years.
Fuck her.
Why settle for half
when we could have all?
God, I love this.
I'm reminded of that Longfellow poem,
"I stand in a fork at the crossroads
of the precipice of life."
You mean Frost, "The Road Not Taken"?
No, I'm certain it's "A…
A fork at a crossroad by a precipice."
Are you sure?
I'm sure, I'm sure. I went to college.
Oh, well, I didn't.
[Virginia] Are you a complete idiot?
I saw what I saw. I can't unsee it.
There's an innocent woman
locked away in a padded cell.
And when her hold is up, she can be
locked away forever based on your word.
So what? We're supposed to
believe your word?
The word of a radical feminist?
My bookstore was an FBI front
to keep an eye on subversives.
I explained it ten times.
Subversives like Linda Shaw.
I caught her with the smoking gun
practically in her hands.
Never heard practically
hold up in a court of law.
Was it in her hands or wasn't it?
She dropped it after she fired.
Or Mary did. At Linda's feet.
Did you not see the initials on the gun?
MD, Mary Davidsoul?
She was radicalized.
Had us locked away in a wine cellar all
night so she could shoot the president.
You'll excuse me.
The boys from Washington just got here.
What do they want with you?
Seems J. Edgar's pretty pleased
with my work on this case.
Offered me a desk right here.
Guess you're not
so special anymore. Huh, agent?
Asshole.
Oh, Linda.
You are so fucked.
[Linda breathes heavily]
Psst. Maxine.
What in the helter-skelter?
Is that Linda I hear?
[Linda] Down here!
[Maxine] What are you doing
in the basement of the Palm Royale?
This isn't the Palm Royale.
We're both at Sunny Tides.
Sunny Tides is a loony bin.
What would two sane women like ourselves
be doing locked up in the cuckoo club?
What kind of pills
have they been giving you?
[Maxine] None.
But I have been enjoying
some delicious martinis.
[Linda] Repeat after me.
"My name is Maxine Dellacorte,
and I drink grasshoppers."
Please!
[Maxine sighs]
My name is Maxine Dellacorte and I…
drink…
grasshoppers.
[Linda] Yes.
My name is Maxine Dellacorte and…
I drink grasshoppers.
I'm Maxine…
[groans, pants]
Well, I think my noggin
is finally defogging.
[pants, gasps]
Linda!
[panting] What is the meaning of this?
Get me out of here!
We can't leave here.
We've been imprisoned by men.
Me by the lawman,
and you by your husband man.
Douglas was just here and…
[breathing heavily]
…so was Robert, and…
[stammers] Where is Robert?
They took Robert away in an ambulance.
If he's… [groans] …still alive,
he'd be in the ICU.
I see you too, Linda.
No, the ICU
on the other side of this campus.
You have to see if he's okay.
- How? [pants]
- [Linda] It's easy.
It's on the fourth floor of the building
that is just beyond the iron fence.
- Got it.
- [gasps] Somebody's coming. I gotta go.
Good luck, Maxine.
Bye, Linda! [breathes heavily]
Okay.
[panting] Where's…
[gasps, pants] Zipper.
Come on, zipper.
[grunts, inhales sharply]
[gasping, breathing heavily]
[grunting, panting]
[gasps]
[groans] Ow.
[breathing heavily]
[shushes]
[breathing heavily]
[a cappella music playing]
[grunts, pants]
Where's the…
[guard 2] We have a code 11
on a Baker hold.
- Repeat, code 11.
- [panting]
- Escapee from the wives' wing.
- Crackers.
Oh, that's me
they're talking about. [panting]
[whimpering]
[orderly] Go left!
[grunts, pants]
[panting]
[siren wailing]
[music ends]
[breathes shakily]
[rhythmic beeping]
[door closes]
[sighs]
[sighs] My poor friend.
[sniffles] You got to pull through,
hear me?
Isn't the world such a rotten place?
We need people like you. [chuckles]
I need a person like you.
Look, if you can hear me, you just lay
there looking distinguished and handsome.
Okay.
I love you too.
[doctor] Mrs. Dellacorte.
- [Maxine] What? Me?
- [doctor] Right this way.
Dellacorte.
- [Norma] Thank you, Doctor.
- Oh, no.
[Norma] How is he faring?
[doctor] He's touch and go. [sighs]
Dare I say, leaning towards go.
Once he wakes up, if he wakes up,
speech will be our first sign of hope.
And from there we can assess him
for brain damage.
Thank you, Doctor.
Had that terrible woman
not come between us,
none of this would have happened.
I will destroy her once and for all.
Oh.
What would my life be
without you? [sniffles]
I pray I never have to find out.
[breathes shakily]
I know who told you about Agnes.
["These Boots Are Made for Walkin'"
playing]
The "Laundry folding
to perfection" seminar is
now under way in the Coconut Room.
And remember, ladies, every morning is
a good morning here at Sunny Tides.
Come and get me.
I told you no more than two miles an hour
on that thing
or I'm taking that chair back!
These boots are made for walkin' ♪
And that's just what they'll do ♪
[phone ringing]
These boots are gonna
Walk all over you ♪
[sighs]
Hello. [sighs]
Douglas, it's Norma.
She's plotting my demise.
That sounds…
Wait, Max, how are you calling me?
I know. I know it sounds crazy,
but I overheard it with my own ears
when I escaped the wives' wing,
and I snuck into the ICU.
When you what from the what
and escaped into the what?
Douglas, it's Norma.
She is evil incarnate.
She-She tried to
drown me off Dinah's boat.
[stammers] She tried to poison me.
I never even got to tell you about that.
- Ouch. [grunts]
- Max, what's happening?
- [grunts]
- Sorry, Mrs. Dellacorte.
All right, I'm-I'm coming
down there, okay?
[song fades out]
Maxine?
[breathing shakily]
[Norma] Dear heart.
Where are you going?
[Mitzi] It was nice of you
to let me stay the night,
but I don't know
if Douglas wants to be involved. I…
Norma wants to be involved.
Palm Beach just… [breathes shakily]
…isn't me.
Then we will make a new you.
Come, sit down.
[breathes shakily, sniffles]
You're scared.
But the truth is, the world is yours.
If you have the courage to take it.
[Douglas] How you doing there, Max?
Oh, come on! Is this necessary?
She bit my ankle.
I am taking this off.
- Sir…
- I am her husband.
I will take full responsibility
if anything goes wrong.
It's your ankle.
[grunts, breathes heavily]
That is rich.
What's rich?
You taking responsibility
for something, anything.
[sighs, smacks lips]
I deserve that.
Oh, you deserve so much more.
[inhales deeply]
But the martinis
this place keeps giving me
is making the piece of mind
I wanna give you a wee milky.
[breathes heavily]
[sighs] That's the thing.
The doctor says that
coming out of an acute trauma…
[sighs] The sedatives
can cause hallucinations.
She will destroy me
if you don't stop her, Douglas.
I heard her.
[stammers] And I am sure that you did…
- [sighs]
- …but you keep thinking
- that you're at the club…
- [sighs]
…Robert is serving drinks.
Palm Beach is a game,
and Norma is playing it without me.
Max, honey,
I know that I gave you a horrible shock,
- but I-I-I need you to stay calm.
- [scoffs]
'Cause that would be
a little more convenient for you?
I want you to come home.
[Maxine] But I won't be able to
if I have feelings, right?
I.e. acknowledge…
that you have gotten
another woman knocked up.
[grunts]
[sighs]
- Oh, don't you… No, no.
- Don't put it like that.
Don't you huff and puff.
It's my turn to huff and puff.
- Why you gotta put it like that?
- [sighs]
Well, let me put it in a way that
will make you more comfortable
because it just seems
like you're having such a hard time.
Look at me.
I'm angry.
[breathes deeply]
But I can't act like I'm angry because
then people will say that I am crazy.
So I have to act like everything is okay.
But it's not okay.
Because in addition to what you did to me,
my sweet Robert is at death's door.
And Linda is locked up. [breathes shakily]
And here I am where I am not allowed
to be angry or crazy.
Well, you just keep lounging in the sun.
[sighs]
Mitzi.
Oh, good. Here you are.
Look, we need to talk about our situation.
[Norma] Yes, we do.
Sit.
Douglas, when I said
you'd finally done something right,
what do you think I meant?
Should this baby take,
and it seems like it certainly will,
it will unlock
the Dellacorte generation-skipping trust.
Scads and scads of money
that's just been sitting
in a Swiss bank collecting
drifts of interest for nearly a century.
But of course,
it must be a legitimate heir,
born from a legitimate marriage.
So, Douglas, you will divorce Maxine
and marry Mitzi before the baby is born.
I just need everything
to slow down. [sighs]
My baby is…
- rich?
- Oh, my, yes.
So, um, it would behoove you,
Mitzi, to continue living here
where your, uh,
incubation can be monitored.
And certainly Maxine's little
Beach Ball crack-up… [chuckles]
…is grounds for annulment.
Conveniently, her stay at Sunny Tides
could be extended for, say,
what, I don't know, maybe another…
[clicks tongue] …five months?
Or, should it be necessary, five decades.
I'm just not comfortable with this.
I need to think about what's…
What's best for you.
Best for the baby.
And of course we'll throw you
a wedding fit for royalty.
Why did you never tell me this?
Because you're stupid, Douglas.
You can never be trusted
to do the right thing.
I am not stupid. [inhales deeply]
I am a man…
who loves his wife,
who sometimes does things
that might seem to be stupid.
But so help me, Norma,
whatever the dumb thing to do is now,
I am going to do the opposite!
I wanna be loved ♪
[Eduardo] All of this is ours? [chuckles]
A room for your birds?
A formal dining room?
[chuckles] Whoa.
Whoa, indeed.
I'm gonna clean up.
Not too clean.
Instead of merely ♪
Don't make me wait.
Holding conversation ♪
Oh, good God,
I'm gonna need money to keep him.
Lots of money.
I wanna be kissed ♪
[squawking]
Starting tonight ♪
[squawking continues]
[peacock calls]
- Mary.
- [sighs]
[stammers] No, Mary, stop.
[Mary sniffles]
Mary! Mary, what the devil are you doing
in the old bootleggers' tunnels?
[inhales deeply]
Will you keep my secret? [grunts]
Sure.
I might have done something crazy.
Oh?
It was me.
It was all me.
What was you, pray tell?
[chuckles] The grand gesture.
Is no one looking for me?
Not yet.
Well, that's disappointing,
on a certain level.
[gasps] Oh. Oh.
And I feel terrible about Robert.
Is he going to live?
- Luckily, seems he is.
- [sighs, sniffles]
And Nixon?
[sighs] Unluckily.
Then I'm innocent.
Not quite how it works, Mary.
[sighs] If I get caught, I'll get jail.
Or worse, Sunny Tides.
My dead husband, David Davidsoul,
sent me there after the birth
of each of my children
and each Christmas time festively…
- Mary. [sighs]
- [sniffles, inhales deeply]
I am doing my best
to keep my house and new lover,
whose beauty is rather intimidating,
and the thought of you
inexplicably popping out of paintings
when we're potentially in flagrante
posits a problem.
I promise not to peek.
Mary, thank you
for trusting me with your secret.
I will guard it with my life.
Now, I will keep you safe.
I will bring you breakfast tomorrow.
You just stay put
until all this blows over, and it will.
It'll just take some time.
Okay.
Evelyn.
Has my life had so little impact?
Stay in your hole, Mary.
[upbeat music playing on speakers]
I thought I'd know more people here.
It's nice that you came by.
For what it's worth, I felt quite terribly
for you the night of The Beach Ball.
[sighs] Well, you're
the first person to say that.
I say one empathetic thing a year,
and now that card has been played.
[inhales deeply]
I wanted to bend your ear.
It's just awful. [breathes shakily]
- Dinah, what is it?
- [sighs]
Axel…
decided to will everything to me
before we even get married,
and now I'm quite riven.
Especially as Norma is throwing us
a party tomorrow to celebrate.
[sighs]
Dinah, I'm lost.
Uh… [stammers] …what is the issue?
I'm in love.
[whispering] What? Dinah.
With who?
Perry, of course.
The Perry I know?
Great. Perry, your husband.
It's good to be in love with your husband.
Alas…
Perry doesn't have any money.
[sighs] Dinah.
[sighs] Look at me.
Okay. [sighs]
We don't know how much time we have
with the people we love.
Choose love.
Dare I ask after Douglas?
Well, he'll… he'll be here tomorrow
to pick me up and…
and take me…
Um, so we'll…
[Dinah] You'll what?
- We'll… [sighs]
- Live together under one roof with Norma?
- While your former nail girl incubates…
- [sighs] No.
…your husband's love child?
Ugh. No.
This reminds me
of the story of Dominique de Marché.
Who's Dominique de Marché?
Oh.
[whispering] Dominique de Marché.
The wife of Charles de Marché,
the marshmallow magnate of Mississippi.
- Marshmallow?
- Loaded.
He impregnated his 21-year-old secretary,
and Dominique was so upset,
he justified putting her on a Baker hold
right here at Sunny Tides.
- Then… Stay with me.
- Oh.
He made such a huge bequest to the board
that they declared her unfit.
[gasps] That's horrible.
She was never seen
in polite society again.
What? Did they kill her?
Might I be plain?
There's another level of plain?
- Yes.
- Please.
I never thought I'd be marrying Axel,
but here I am.
I never thought
I'd fall back in love with Perry.
But I have.
People do crazy things.
When faced with money, they make
choices they wouldn't normally make.
Because money equals freedom.
And, my darling, where are you?
Wake the fuck up.
The offseason?
- Oof… [sighs]
- [Maxine breathes heavily]
She's a killer.
[guard 3] You have five minutes.
Who says?
Now, don't make this harder for me.
Leave us or you'll soon be out of a job.
[stutters] Uh, yes, ma'am.
- Ew. Is that a…
- [Linda] Dead body.
The morgue is down the hall.
Trust me, I'm not getting used to it.
You don't have to.
Do you mind if I take the chair?
Make yourself at home.
You always seem to find yourself
at the center of chaos.
What is it with you and guns?
I've seen your parlor.
I could say the same.
Yeah, peas in a pod.
Make no mistake about it.
They're going to
make sure you fry for this.
You're the poster girl for everything
the government wants to squash.
A radical.
A feminist.
And perhaps the scariest of all…
A woman with her own money.
I guess you know
a little bit about that, huh?
Mm-hmm. Happy to say I do.
I wish they'd question Mary.
Mary has gone to ground.
Besides, she's the hardest
to pin anything on, anyway.
No one can ever remember
when she's even been in a room. [chuckles]
But the gun has her initials on it.
No.
M.D.
Stands for Maxine Dellacorte.
You tell them that
Maxine was behind it all.
I've already laid the groundwork.
All you have to do is confirm it.
She radicalized your feminist group,
taking it over from the inside.
And before you knew it,
you were going along
with her insane plan
to kill the president.
She invited him to the party.
You…
You were merely the trigger woman.
A naive, impressionable socialite…
who got caught up in it all.
Tell them that
in exchange for your freedom.
You really hate her that much?
It's very likely she's going to be
in here for quite some time.
Perhaps forever.
- Just like Dominique de Marché.
- De Marché.
You're ruthless.
Oh, for God's sake.
She's going to be in here anyway.
Let it buy you your freedom.
But she's my friend.
[imitating Linda] But she's my friend.
We play dollies together.
[normal] Being born rich has ruined you.
Look in the mirror.
You stupid, ungrateful brat.
Kevin!
[stammers] Uh, is there a problem?
You have my permission
to get her out of my cell.
You never truly understood
how the world works.
How tragic.
Soon you'll be out of time to learn.
Isn't Linda saying
she was only trying to stop Mary?
She hasn't found a single person
to corroborate that story.
There's us.
Do you like playing tennis
on your very own home court?
- I do.
- Then zip it.
As long as Mary's MIA
and Linda's in jail, we're sitting pretty.
[grunts] Let's take a break.
I think better when I'm physical.
Do I get Linda's money,
help Norma institutionalize Maxine,
then ruin Norma's plans for an heir
by coaxing Mitzi away from nuptializing?
Or do it the other way around?
On the one hand, I'm happy the short-lived
reign of Maxine Dellacorte is over.
On the other hand, I'm feeling a twinge
of guilt about the fate Norma's planning.
- [exclaims]
- [yelps]
[Evelyn] Oh, fuck a duck.
Did I forget myself for a moment
and completely shatter
your sense of masculinity?
I truly am sorry.
[huffs] You don't need to be sorry.
I'm surprised, emasculated,
and completely aroused.
But, Evelyn, don't lose your humanity.
Humanity. [blows raspberry]
- [bell rings]
- [Maxine chuckles, inhales sharply]
Just confirming that my three-day hold
is up today at 2:00 p.m.
Yep.
Well, I gotta get my life back on track.
- [elevator bell rings]
- Because it's 1:45. I'm ready to go.
Actually I've been ready since 7:00 a.m.
Dominique, that is not the way to bingo!
[sighs]
Dominique de Marché?
[ominous music playing]
[breathes heavily]
[Norma] Haven't we all been
through so much these past few days?
- But I am so grateful to Dinah…
- Mmm.
…and Axel for giving us the opportunity
to show the world
how Palm Beach carries on.
- [guest chuckles]
- [Dinah] Yes. Shall we get you a snack?
[kisses] Kiss, kiss. [chuckles]
Thank you.
Right here.
Beep, beep. [chuckles]
- [Axel chuckles]
- There we go.
- [Axel] Oh.
- My darling.
What, sweetheart?
Would you mind if I ran outside
to get a breath of fresh air?
- Of course not.
- Aw. You're a peach.
- I'll be right back. [sighs]
- You will. Okay.
[Dinah] Okay.
I've been neglecting you
for so long, dear friend.
It's high time I set things right.
Finally.
Yes.
[sighs] Finally.
- [kisses]
- [Dinah] I can't do it, Perry.
I can't keep hurting such a harmless man
who knows so many maritime knots.
- Babe.
- I won't be a pawn, like Mitzi.
I am not a pawn. I'm… I'm…
Whoo, what's another chess piece?
The one that can make an L.
That's who I am.
The horse.
Not the horse, Perry. [inhales sharply]
- What I'm saying is…
- Mmm.
…no matter the square…
I'm Dinah Donahue.
Not Rosenhips.
We will find another way back to wealth.
- [inhales deeply] You're the queen.
- I know.
Don't drink too much. [chuckles]
- Fat chance of that. Yeah, here again.
- [Dinah] Hello, Bob and Evelyn.
[Douglas muttering, inhales sharply]
Uh, Dellacorte.
[groans]
Look, sorry, man. I can't talk right now.
I gotta pick up Maxine.
You lost me a lot of money.
It's not my fault that
Norma came back from the dead.
Well, you better find
a way to make up for it, or else…
You get it?
- [imitates slicing sound]
- [person laughs, wheezing]
- [Dominique laughs]
- Um.
Uh, just one more thing.
Could you make that skirt
just a smidgeon longer?
Killjoy.
[laughing continues]
Bert, my usual, please.
Perry?
Dougy Buggy.
Isn't it weird that you're here?
[smacks lips] It is weird, isn't it?
[chuckles]
You know what's even weirder?
Dinah is breaking up
with the old geezer for me
and turning her back on his whole fortune.
You know what I call that?
- Love?
- Stupidity.
Don't be stupid, Dougamus.
I am not stupid.
- [Douglas] I guess I make her crazy.
- [laughing, shrieking]
[Douglas] Truly crazy.
[horn honking]
Oh, Axel.
I can't look at you.
This is the hardest thing I've ever done.
[inhales sharply]
I'm going to be the bigger person.
My darling, no amount of money is
worth feeling like I am robbing you
of the last best years of your life.
You deserve to be
with someone who loves you.
Someone like Norma.
And…
And I do too.
So, I'm going to take a chance.
[breathing heavily]
And choose love.
Say something, please.
I've broken your heart.
I deserve your cruel silence.
I know it's your way.
Your way of freezing me out.
But your withholding is an outrage.
I never realized
how chilly your hands are.
Where are the cuff links I gave you?
Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce you
to the newest member
of the Dellacorte family.
[crowd gasping, murmuring]
[majestic music playing]
Poor, poor Maxine.
[Dinah] He's dead!
My beloved fiancé,
the wonderful Axel Rosenhips,
who I was definitely
not breaking up with, is dead!
- [crowd gasping, exclaiming]
- [Dinah] Is there a doctor in the house?
Hurry!
Please! [sobs]
- [chattering continues on TV]
- [laughing, shrieking]
- [actor] Oh, well.
- Dominique.
On second thought, forget it.
- Darrin would have a fit…
- I need your help.
[actor] I'll do it!
- Try and get me!
- [elevator bell dings]
Try and get me! [whoops]
Dominique. How many times have I told you
to stop that? [stammers, grunts]
Stop that!
- Get out of here!
- [Dominique whoops, laughs]
Dominique, you stop that right now.
[Maxine] It's me. Don't hang up, please.
Please. [breathes heavily]
Look, you've done things to me.
And I've done things to you, too, I guess.
But you, please… You…
You cannot leave me here.
[breathes shakily] Just…
Just give me another chance.
Please.
[exhales deeply]
Goodbye, fellas. Goodbye,
those who gave me shots against my will.
Your ride is waiting.
Thanks, Peg.
[triumphant music plays]
Oh.
Goodbye, ladies.
Goodbye, Maxine.
[melancholy music plays]
Goodbye, Dominique.
I'm so sorry about what happened to you.
Don't come back.
["Comin' Home Baby" playing]
[Maxine breathing heavily]
[rhythmic beeping]
[breathing softly]
[gasps] Agnes.
[Maxine sighs] "Melior de cinere surgo."
[sighs]
Rise from the ashes
in a better state than before.
Thanks for picking me up.
Someone was worried about my humanity.
[Maxine] What I felt in there,
I will never feel again.
And what is that?
Powerless.
You are one tough bitch. [sniffs]
Let's go take Palm Beach.
[Robert] I'm comin' home, baby, now
I'm comin' home now, right away
I'm comin' home, baby, now
I'm sorry now I ever went away ♪
Every night and day
I go and stay ♪
- I'm comin' home, baby
- Come on home
- Comin' home, baby, now
- You know I'm waitin' here for you
- I'm comin' home now, real soon
- You've been gone
- Comin' home, baby, now
- You don't know what I'm gonna do
- I'm comin' home, I know I'm overdue
- Since you went away
Expect me any day
Now, real soon ♪
- I'm comin' home
- Come on home
I'm comin' home, baby, now ♪
I'm comin' home! ♪
I'm comin' home, baby, now ♪
I'm comin' home ♪
I'm comin' home now ♪
I'm coming home ♪
I'm coming home ♪
[music ends]