Stick (2025) s02e01 Episode Script

1
[podcaster] What is up, golf sickos?
We are live in the studio
and talking all things Dove Charity pro-am
happening today in Hotlanta, Georgia.
This might be my favorite
sort of nontraditional event of the year.
It's an amazing golf course,
an amazing cause,
and it always brings out a few big names.
And this year, I'm more stoked than ever
because it is the start of the season
for the amateur sensation, Santi Wheeler.
Wheeler had an absolutely electric debut
at last year's Ready Safe
and followed it up
with three top 20 finishes at tour events,
all on sponsor exemptions.
Wheeler sure looks like
a future star in the game,
but the big question everyone's wondering
is, "When will this kid turn pro?"
[Zero] We'll do arrival first,
nothing posed.
- Oh, my God. [chuckles]
- Hey.
And then, uh, and then we'll get some
range footage, like, from behind.
- Kind of hero vibes.
- Okay.
Hero vibes?
- Wow.
- Okay.
He's playing golf,
he's not invading Normandy.
- Okay, Mitts.
- [Santi, Elena chuckles]
And then I thought maybe after the round,
we do, like, reflection.
- Win, lose, whatever.
- After?
After? You're going to record him after,
like it's a nature documentary?
Mitts, he has more
than a million people following him.
- Yeah.
- They want to know what he's doing.
- It's part of the job now, Mittsy. Yeah.
- No, no, no. The job is golf.
The job is hitting the ball in the hole
in fewer strokes than the other guy.
The rest is just noise.
Yeah. The noise is how people find you.
Hey, look.
People found Arnold Palmer just fine
without him recording himself
brushing his teeth, right?
- Come on, Pryce.
- [Elena] Órale, Pryce!
- [Zero] Come on!
- [Santi] Yeah, come on, Pryce!
- Don't make us late.
- [Zero] Get a move on!
- [Elena] What are you doing?
- [Zero] Mitts, what is this?
- Is he braiding his hair or what?
- [Mitts] I don't know what he's doing.
[Santi] Come on! Any day!
[Mitts] Pryce, we gotta move.
Okay, sorry. I'm coming.
[Mitts] Santi's tee time is 9:30.
What are you doing in there?
Had to brush my teeth. I know. I know.
Glad you got out.
[sighs] We need to hurry up. I want to
get a Bloody Mary before Santi tees off.
- It's 9:00 in the morning.
- It calms my nerves.
- How long we known each other, Pryce?
- [Pryce sighs]
- Long time, Nick.
- [chuckles]
So you remember what I did for you
back in Reno in '05, right?
- What happened in Reno?
- [Pryce] Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Nothing happened in Reno.
- Where are you going with this?
- [Nick] It wasn't nothing.
After the American Century,
Pryce found himself on the wrong side
of some tough backwrap players from Korea.
[Pryce] And one guy
was like a Bond villain.
[chuckles] Totally immune
to the Pryce Cahill charm.
I helped you out.
Now I'm calling in that favor.
I need you to play today.
Hell yeah.
Hell no. I-I-I have not played a round
in like 15 years, Nick.
- I'm sorry.
- [Nick] I'm down a player.
I need you to fill out Santi's foursome.
- Pryce. Pryce, you have to.
- [Pryce scoffs]
No, I don't have to.
Look, there's plenty of guys
that can step in.
[Nick] This is a pro-am charity event.
I need pros to play with the ams.
These weekend warriors,
they pay big money to play guys like you.
No, they pay big money
to play with guys like Santi, okay?
I'm not even a pro.
I haven't been a pro
since the Bush administration.
I'm sorry. I don't even have my clubs.
Yes, he does. That's a lie.
- They are in the RV.
- [stammers] That's…
I can't believe you'd do me like that.
Pryce, it'll be fun.
- Come on, man. You have to play.
- [sighing] No.
[chuckles] No.
If you don't play, less money goes
to those homeless kids.
Seriously?
You're gonna play
the "homeless kids" card?
[chuckling] That's low, Nick.
Whatever it takes.
Okay, fine. I'll play.
[theme song playing]
- [Santi] You're welcome.
- [fan] Thank you so much. Big fan.
- Thank you.
- Gotta say, I love this course.
Played it in '96.
Came in third behind Couples and Furyk.
Lot of elevation changes.
Need soft hands today.
[sighs]
[golfer] Yo.
Hey, good morning, gentlemen.
Let me introduce you
to Santi Wheeler, Pryce Cahill.
Oh, we know who you are.
- We've all seen the YouTube, dude.
- Yeah.
- Oh, yeah, Sawgrass 2009.
- [Pryce] Yeah.
- All-time meltdown.
- Yikes.
I'm Steve. This is P-Rex.
Big fan of yours, seriously, man.
You're a killer.
All right, straight up, we didn't drop
ten grand apiece for a charity stroll.
- No?
- [P-Rex] No, we came for some action.
We're thinking best-ball, 5K a hole,
you give ten strokes.
Ten s…
And then you want us
to be blindfolded? Come on.
[P-Rex] Listen, ten's fair.
And, uh, let's add a side bet.
- [Pryce exhales]
- Blow-up hole.
- When you snap your first club.
- Guys,
- seriously--
- No, it's all right. It's okay.
Over-under on another meltdown.
Should we say the line is hole eight?
- [Steve] Ten grand on the under.
- [P-Rex] Am at the under.
He's gonna pop
before the beer cart makes the turn.
[chuckles] Let's go.
- Okay.
- Okay, what?
Best-ball, 5K, ten strokes.
We'll take the over.
[Steve] Deal.
Guys, we've got a fun update
from the Dove.
So our guy, username, "Bigha69",
just sent in a picture from the first tee,
and it looks like Santi Wheeler
has tapped in his coach, Pryce Cahill,
into playing with him today.
["Won't Get Fooled Again" playing]
[heartbeat thumping]
[thumping stops]
[cheering]
[podcaster] Oh, my goodness.
Stick Cahill just flushed a bomb
down the first tee to start.
Okay.
Wow! The old dog came to play.
[music continues]
[grunts]
- [crowd cheering]
- [chuckles]
[podcaster] Unreal.
Cahill just stuck a 9-iron
from 150 to birdie the fourth.
Pryce Cahill is golfing his ball today
at the Dove.
[Santi] Four hundred
and twenty-six thousand dollars.
[Pryce] What's that?
That's how much money I would have made
so far on tour this year
if I had gone pro.
Don't do that. Don't add it up.
No, I don't do it. People online do it,
and they tag me in the comments.
Okay, but don't read the comments.
I read the comments once,
and I found one that said,
"Pryce Cahill
is the Amelia Earhart of golf.
He took off with great expectations, then
suddenly disappeared over a water hazard."
[chuckles]
Okay, wait.
Okay, listen,
all I'm trying to say, Pryce,
is that we're leaving money
on the table, man.
Don't worry about the money.
The money will come.
I don't understand.
Wasn't this, like, your whole master plan?
Dial in my game so that we can play
in the show and make a pile of cash?
I know, I know.
But the pros will be there in four years.
IU is a golden opportunity now.
Great golf program, free education.
Did someone, like, get to you?
Is this, like,
coming from my mom or something?
No, this is not coming from your mom.
I just think it's a better plan.
Look, you go to school, you work
on your game out of the spotlight.
No pressure.
Trust me. You'll thank me later.
And get off social media. It's bad news.
You know, I lost my password,
like, three or four years ago.
Never looked back. Never been happier.
["Won't Get Fooled Again" playing]
[crowd cheering]
Yes.
[podcaster] Holy shit.
Pryce Cahill just birdied nine.
That's three birdies in a row.
The old man is on fire.
[Zero] Did you talk to Pryce?
I tried, but he's still not into it.
I mean, is it really so bad, you know?
Full scholarship, D1 golf program?
[agent] Showtime!
What's up, buddy?
- [Santi] Hey.
- Good to see you.
Jeremy Pierce, Stratus Sports.
Met last year at the Barracuda.
Jeremy. Yeah, yeah.
- What's up?
- What's up, bro?
This is Zero, my girlfriend.
- Yeah, you handle the socials, right?
- [Zero] Yeah.
- Yeah, that's me.
- Love them reels.
Straight candy for the algorithm.
- [chuckles]
- Thank you.
So, dude, what's up?
When are you going pro?
The whole world wants to know.
Oh. Yeah. Uh…
I'm gonna hold off for a sec.
I'm-I'm going to Indiana in the fall.
You're going to college?
Yeah, I'm going to, uh, take my time
and work on my game, you know,
out of the spotlight and everything.
[Jeremy] You finished TA
at Black Desert last month.
You beat Russell Henley by six shots.
I think your game is looking
pretty good, my friend.
[both chuckle]
Pryce thinks it'll be better
for me in the long run, so…
Right.
That might be what Pryce wants,
but is that what you want?
- Who was that?
- Some agent. He's a good guy.
- He's an agent.
- What, agents can't be good guys?
No, they can be good guys.
They're just, you know, agents first.
["Won't Get Fooled Again" playing]
[podcaster] Guys, we officially have
a situation unfolding at the Dove.
Pryce Cahill just made another birdie
at the par 4 11th,
and what we thought
was a cute little front nine
is turning into a serious round of golf.
[music continues]
[cheering]
Another birdie, Cahill's just taken
the solo lead at seven under.
Yep! Two in a row!
Son of a bitch.
Pardon my French,
but what in the fuck is going on?
- [gasps, chuckles]
- [crowd cheering]
Holy shit.
[podcaster] Well, this is it, sickos.
If Pryce Cahill can birdie this par 5,
he will post a 10 under 62
and beat the course record,
which was shot by some guy
named Scottie Scheffler.
Lay up, gap wedge onto the green,
2 putt and it's yours.
No, I'm gonna use the 3-wood.
[chuckles] Wait. Pryce.
Pryce, Pryce. No, no, no.
You ca… Are you kidding me?
Man, you can't get through those trees.
Just lay up.
No, where you see an obstacle,
my friend, I see the way.
Can you just move? I'm coming through.
Thank you, appreciate it.
[breathes deeply]
[podcaster] Okay, hold on.
He's gonna try
to thread one through the trees.
Pryce Cahill isn't thinking about birdie.
He's got his mind on the big bird.
He wants an eagle.
- [music continues]
- [breathes deeply]
[exhales]
Oh, my God.
[cheering]
[chuckling] Are you kidding me?
Yeah!
[screams, chuckles]
Are you kidding me?
Pryce Cahill just eagled 18 at the Dove
to shoot a course record 61.
And Pryce Cahill eagles 18…
Pryce Cahill was all gas and no brakes…
The dude hasn't played
in a tournament in 20 years.
Pryce Cahill, the man's a legend.
Pryce Cahill prying the course record…
Pryce Cahill just striped his ball
to the green from, like, 250 yards out.
Pryce Cahill just made
a ton of noise at the Dove.
Pryce Cahill, back from the dead.
After decades off the scene, Cahill picks
up his blades and destroys the Dove.
Stick Cahill. This guy went in one
of the trickiest pins in the sport
- and eagled 18.
- [music ends]
[pensive music playing]
[Santi] Do you miss it?
Playing?
Yeah, sometimes.
You know, a day like this?
[trills lips] Of course.
[Santi] I saw it, man.
People were always telling me
how great you were.
Better than Mickelson.
Better than Tiger.
Whoa, whoa.
Let's not anger the golf gods, okay?
But you know what I mean.
They say you could have been
one of the best.
- Yeah, I did okay.
- Dude, you were 18th in the world.
I could have been better.
- [Santi scoffs]
- I should have been better.
You think…
if you hadn't lost Jett,
you could have been number one?
Mmm. I don't think it was that.
I think, uh…
the cracks were already there.
Way before Jett.
Do you ever think about
what would happen if you kept playing?
[inhales sharply]
You know, when I was your age,
people kept telling me
I had a gift, something special.
And they were right.
But…
I don't know,
I just, kind of, threw it away.
Do you regret it?
Yeah.
Yeah, I regret it. I mean, it's like…
you got a hole that just never disappears.
It's always there.
Like a ghost in the room
just reminding you…
you know, what you could have been.
I mean, there aren't too many days
that go by that I don't think
about what would it have been like
if I had kept playing,
if I had really, really just…
But, you know,
that's not the way the game works.
You get a window, and then it closes.
But, hey, sometimes we set out
to write a symphony,
and we end up with a jingle instead.
[chuckles]
Like a good neighbor ♪
State Farm is there ♪
- Damn!
- [chuckles]
See, jingles,
they're pretty good, memorable.
[hip-hop playing in headphones]
[music stops]
All right. Santi, Santi.
[music continues]
Hey, dude.
- Hey!
- Oh, yeah?
[Mitts] Come on!
Don't you hear me yelling at you?
They're called "noise canceling"
for a reason.
- Well, I gotta come down, so move.
- Okay. Okay.
It's a two-man job, buddy,
and both guys gotta be paying attention.
That's how it works.
- I was paying attention. I…
- All right, look.
Do you know job site injuries went up 26%
after the invention of the smartphone?
- Do you know that?
- Why would I know that?
How would I know that?
How do you know that?
I d… I don't know.
[stammers] It doesn't matter. I…
- Okay, I gotta ask you a question.
- Okay.
Uh-oh.
You got your serious face on.
What's wrong?
- I don't have a serious face.
- Yeah, you do.
Pryce and my mom talk
about it all the time.
Pryce says it's your, uh,
"I just stepped on a Lego" face.
Are… Anyway, are you okay?
Are you sick or something?
No, it's nothing like that.
I just…
All right, look.
Your mother and I have been
together for a while,
and I want to ask her to move in
with me, all right?
Live together.
And I just wanna know
how you feel about that.
[sighs] Are you, um,
are you having sex with my mom?
I w… I… When I thou--
Are you two, like…
Are you, like, doing it?
- Well… How could you…
- [breathes heavily]
You know, forget it.
[chuckling] I'm fucking with you, Mitts.
You little shit.
You look like you're gonna have a
heart attack there. You're like… [laughs]
All right.
Just answer the question, funny guy.
- Are you okay with it or what?
- Yes.
- I love you, Mitts.
- Okay.
And you make my mom really happy.
- All right, so we're good?
- Yeah, we are.
Okay.
- Okay. All right. That's enough. Okay.
- [chuckles]
[upbeat music playing]
But I'm not calling you Papi.
No, I don't want you to call me Papi.
I don't want anyone to call me Papi.
All we are saying is maybe it's time
to move out of the RV.
Maybe it's time to start thinking
about sharing your life with someone.
- Maybe it's time to settle down.
- I mean, I am sharing my life with Mitts.
- Maybe buy a condo or at least a couch.
- Mmm.
What does a couch
have to do with anything?
Men with couches
statistically live longer.
I'm gonna have to see
the research on that.
That sounds like something
cooked up by the Furniture Lobby.
[inhales deeply]
Send Pryce articles
on men with couches living longer.
- [softly] Don't send me any articles.
- [Ben] Pryce,
getting engaged to Amber-Linn was
the best thing that ever happened to me.
Hey, it was the best thing
that ever happened to me at one point.
My hyperlipidemia levels
are the lowest they've ever been.
There you go, the power of love.
How high were they?
Let's just say they were a concern.
Thank God they've stabilized.
[Amber-Linn]
There is a woman in our office.
- [Pryce] Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
- She is really great.
Her name is Beth, and she's divorced.
Kids are grown.
Pass. Not interested.
She loves pickleball.
Quick reflexes.
- Yeah.
- [Pryce] Quick reflexes?
You are not in sales.
You don't lead with quick reflexes.
That makes me think
you're hiding something, Ben.
Like what are her hyperlipidemia levels.
Stop. No one is hiding anything.
- [Pryce sighs]
- This is Beth.
[breathes heavily]
You got to keep an open heart, right?
- [Ben, Amber-Linn chuckle]
- I do.
[chuckles]
[Pryce] Never thought
my destiny was pickleball.
Maybe Beth can show me otherwise,
right? [chuckles]
- I'm going to set this up.
- Okay, yeah, sign me up. Thank you.
- [phone buzzing]
- Oh. Excuse me.
How you doing, coach?
[coach] Hey, Pryce, you tore it up
at Highland Crest last week.
You ever think about going back to school?
IU could use you.
Well, the problem is, red makes my face
look like I lost a hot wings challenge,
so I don't know.
- But how you doing?
- I'm good.
Uh, look, Pryce.
I need to talk to you about Santi.
Yeah, that's solid.
Just keep that elbow in.
- Fire those hips.
- Yeah.
Repeat, repeat, repeat.
- Here, try again.
- Sh…
No way, I've been hitting my six
for, like, an hour.
Can we mix it up?
- James Bond wants to shake it up. Okay.
- [chuckles]
- What do you wanna try?
- Uh…
[sighs] Can-Can you grab my five?
I thought you wanted to shake it up.
- Five? Come on.
- [chuckles]
Seventy-five marker.
- Ding, ding, ding, ding.
- Match my magic.
- Oh, you wanna play?
- Yeah, I wanna play.
- [sucks teeth] Okay.
- Come on.
[rock music playing]
Oh.
Is that what you meant?
How about a little low stinger
to that 150 marker?
It's a game.
[music continues]
Goddamn you.
- Looks good.
- It is.
No!
[singsongy] Right in the barrel.
I feel like I'm playing a machine.
- Jesus!
- Sorry!
- Goddamn it.
- [whispers] Sorry.
[music continues]
[groans]
All right, I didn't even need to look,
but I heard it.
Come on, Pryce.
Go, go, go.
- Damn it! [groans]
- You blew it!
I do not like getting beat by you.
- You knew how this would end.
- [Pryce chuckling]
You knew. [chuckles]
[music ends]
- Talking all that smack.
- Oh.
[Santi chuckles]
Hey, you know,
I got a call from Coach Cliff.
Okay.
He said you didn't turn in, I don't know,
the orientation paperwork or something?
Listen, he said
he's gonna sit you in the fall
if you don't show up
for the summer program.
[golf club thuds]
Did you forget or what?
- Santi, what's going on?
- [sighs]
Is this about turning pro?
- What do you think?
- I think we already discussed it.
No, actually… [stammers]
…we haven't because every time
I bring it up, you shut me down.
[inhales deeply] Okay, listen.
I… That's not… [sighs]
I'm sorry.
That's not what I'm trying to do.
I'm listening.
I've played in three tourneys on exemption
since the Ready Safe, Pryce.
And I've placed top 20 in all of them.
If I was on tour right now, I'd have more
FedEx Cup points than Rickie Fowler.
I get it.
Listen, you're playing strong,
you feel bulletproof.
- But you're young.
- No, but…
Don't do that.
Don't do the whole,
"you're still a baby" thing.
- 'Cause I'm--
- That's not what I'm saying.
All I'm saying is you got time, right?
You can go to school,
get a good education,
and then you hit that Tour a great golfer
who's a fully formed human being.
I mean, that's what Morikawa did, right?
Yeah, I'm not Morikawa, Pryce. I'm me.
Well, look, we can look
into the PGA Accelerated Tour.
Why wait?
- Why not just go now?
- Because it's not the right move.
I promise, you are exactly
where you're supposed to be.
You're set up perfectly.
Trust me.
I'm gonna go grab some food.
[slow, instrumental music plays]
[Pryce] The kid is kicking
against the barn door.
Well, you can't blame him.
The siren of pro golf
is a tough one to resist.
Oh, you don't have to tell me that.
I sailed right into those rocks willingly.
Had a great time doing it
for the most part.
Yeah.
- Well, so what's the problem?
- Well, what do you mean?
Problem is you don't have a ship
'cause it gets smashed to bits.
You're on a rock with nothing.
I don't want that to happen to Santi.
Well, that's your story, Pryce.
You and Santi are very different people.
I agree. But come on, he's still a kid.
You gotta watch out for him a little bit.
Look, it would be
the easiest thing in the world.
"Yes, go pro.
Let the money start rolling in."
That's what I was saying.
But at a certain point, it's gotta be
about more than the money, right?
Yeah. Well, what's it about?
[Pryce sighs]
"I'm thinking about the kid,
not the golfer."
You remember saying that?
You remember?
Okay, so that's what I'm trying to do.
- [chuckles]
- What?
Look, I don't say this very often,
but I'm proud of you, man.
Proud of you. That shows growth.
- Growth. How does it feel?
- No, I don't like growth.
It feels… weird, and it's difficult.
[Mitts] Why don't you come over tonight?
We'll watch Housewives
and celebrate this new version of you.
- [Pryce] Can't. I got a date.
- [Mitts] A date?
I don't even know who you are anymore.
The babies when they're born,
I'd say they're, like, you know,
an inch-and-a-half long,
and they're just
these chubby little things.
They got these big anime eyes
and these tiny little flippers.
- Turtles?
- Yeah.
Hawksbills, they're called.
And every June, they emerge
from their nest, the hatchlings,
and they awkwardly
kind of flap their way down the sand,
just kind of tumble into the water.
Oh, that's so sweet.
No, it was a bloodbath.
- What?
- There were pods of dolphins.
I don't know how they knew,
but it was like they heard a dinner bell
because there are hundreds of them
waiting just beyond the shore break,
and they're picking off the weak swimmers.
So these poor little guys are
just popping in their mouths like grapes.
It was a mass execution.
Popping like grapes? Jesus.
Well, it's the dark side of evolution
'cause, of course, it's not all rainbows,
but it occurred to me
that sometimes in life you're the turtle
and sometimes you're the dolphin.
I think I'm just gonna, uh, I'm gonna take
- a quick trip to the restroom.
- Go ahead, go ahead.
- Okay. Sure.
- Okay.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
I'll be right here.
This is not going well.
What are you doing here, Clark?
Dead baby turtles?
Pryce, this is how you woo a woman?
- No, it's nature. It's interesting.
- Can I get you something?
A scotch and soda.
No, no. He-He doesn't need a scotch
and soda 'cause he's not staying.
Bring me a scotch and soda. I'm staying.
[stammers] Let's get it
in a to-go glass because…
- [whispers] …I'm on a date.
- No, you're not.
- Yeah, I am.
- You're on the Hindenburg.
You just don't know it.
- There's no chemistry here.
- What are you talking…
How can you say that? You don't know that.
I've known it
since you got the appetizers.
You've been watching us
since the appetizers?
I've been watching you
since you got the menus,
and there was nothing happening then.
Why are you watching me?
What are you doing here?
Highland Crest, the Dove.
I saw what you did.
Honestly, I wouldn't have believed it
if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes.
A big bird on 18 to card a 61?
Yes, I know.
You are a spectacular golfer, Pryce.
[footsteps approaching]
- Oh. [chuckles] Hello.
- Thank you.
Hey, sorry. I'm Clark.
I'm an old friend of Pryce's.
- I'm sorry to interrupt.
- Beth.
Beth. Lovely to meet you.
[Beth]
You're the Ready Safe Insurance guy.
- [Clark] Guilty as charged.
- [Beth chuckles]
- I've seen your commercials.
- [Clark] Oh.
They're hilarious.
[chuckles] You're great.
[Clark] Oh, thank you for saying so.
I actually use Ready Safe Insurance
for both home and car.
Amazing. I'm gonna call
the corporate office,
let them know the campaign is working.
- [chuckles]
- [Clark] Beth, um…
Pryce and I actually have
some business to discuss.
- Would that be okay?
- No, actually we have no business
to discuss, so you can have a seat.
Oh, no, I mean, that's fine.
- I should get going anyways.
- No.
[Beth] I have an early morning.
I had a nice time.
Yeah, some of the turtles make it,
so it was a happy ending.
Um…
It was really nice to meet you.
- Beth, such a pleasure.
- [chuckles]
Oh, would you say it for me, please?
[Clark] Beth,
things don't always go as planned,
- but with Ready Safe Insurance…
- [Beth chuckles]
…you'll always be ready
to hit the next shot.
[chuckles]
[inhales deeply]
[Clark, Pryce chuckle]
- Uh, she…
- Okay, she…
[Clark sighs]
You just ran her off.
I did not run her off.
- Trust me, she was ready to go.
- You are really
- rolling grenades in my life.
- [gasps] Lickety-split.
- Thank you, kind lady.
- [chuckles]
[Clark sighs]
I was vibing with her.
There's no way I'm misreading that.
Don't beat yourself up.
You've been out of the game.
I'm not beating myself up,
and I'm not out of the game.
Listen, when I saw you playing again,
I swear to God,
it was like the heavens opened up.
It was like Buddha under the bodhi tree.
I saw everything so clearly in an instant.
You still got it.
That spark that made you so special
as a kid, it's still there.
What are you talking about?
Pryce Cahill,
how'd you like to become
the greatest comeback in sports history
by becoming the oldest player
to win the US Open?
["Blue Orchid" playing]