The Curse (2022) s02e01 Episode Script

MUSIC: The Sun Always Shines On TV
by A-ha
MUSIC FADES IN AND OU
WOMAN GASPING
WOMAN SOBS
NATASHA: Spain, the mid-80s,
no extradition laws meant it had
become a haven for criminals.
It was the ultimate lawbreakers paradise.
We had it all - the sports car, the
villa, the shoulder pads.
Me and Albert bought a hotel with
the washed money from the gold,
and started investing in various
legitimate property developments.
Sidney got a new identity,
changed his name to Andrew,
got himself a reggae bar
and some pedalos.
We were building our future.
We were happy.
All we had to do was keep our heads
down and noses clean.
The Baptist and Ronnie were
pulling strings,
driving our business investments.
Meaning we could leave the gold
secretly stashed away.
I've spoken to the mayor,
and he has confirmed dinner on Friday.
Great, OK. I will get everything ready.
Wow! I'm so excited to meet him.
It only matters to the mayor that
this is a profitable venture.
Yes.
But he seems intrigued about
the idea of a water park.
I'm not sure he knows what it is.
He'll be down there every day
wanking under his fucking beach
towel, dirty old pervert.
Well, as long as he pays his
entrance fee.
Oh, he's not a nonce, is he?
What is a nonce?
Oh, erm, a nonce is someone who
wants to
Um, it's well, you erm
Don't worry about it. Uh-huh.
Oh, there's one thing to remember,
there is a pretence that we
must uphold, Natasha.
He must not know your background,
the source of your income, so
to speak.
That won't be a problem.
No, uh, this ain't my first rodeo,
Mr Baptist.
Or bullfight, as they say out here.
N Yeah.
SYNTH-POP MUSIC PLAYS
You all right, boys?
Don't work too hard, yeah?
IN SPANISH:
THEY LAUGH
Right, OK,
so the mayor is coming at eight
o'clock on Friday,
so we'll need to make sure that
everything is perfect.
Are you gonna do the patatas bravas?
Oh! Mummy's in business mode again,
isn't she?
Is someone hungry for potatoes
bravas, hey?
Are you finished down there?
You gonna come back up and talk to
me? What? What?
Its patatas BRR-avas. I know.
Roll your R's though, cos it's
polite.
I know how to do it. Yes, yeah,
I am. Potatoes bravas.
BRR! I know. Well, practise.
Ruh. RRR! Ruh! Keep, yeah, practise
at it.
I will practise, Tash, OK, fine.
Anyway, I was thinking, erm,
might be nice to have me at
the dinner as well.
No, you are helping
so much by being back here,
making sure the food is amazing.
Ah, thanks.
I need to show them that I am strong
and in charge.
Yes, but it might be nice
for them to know that I'm
a little bit in charge as well.
CONDESCENDINGLY: Oh, no!
I could pretend to be the waiter.
That would be so weird, Albert.
OK. Well
OK. Rraaah. Brrah-vas.
Patatas bravas.
REGGAE MUSIC PLAYS
SPEAKING SPANISH
- Camila.
- Yeah?
See that?
Definition. Wow, you look great.
That's just from lugging around
the pedalos over there.
Yeah, very good.
Yeah, it's like a natural workout.
Best shape of my life, to be honest.
You should see some of the looks I'm
getting
from the mamacitas on the beach.
One of them was topless,
which I'm all for.
How do you say, "Do you want to go
for a drink?"
Podemos ir a tomar algo?
Que de sida tomato valgo.
Te gustaria ir a tomar algo?
Algo? What's that? That's not
tomorrow?
No, no. Cos I'm not free tomorrow.
Don't worry, it's OK. Smile.
Yeah, everything's all good
here. Perfect.
Bye.
Oh, hey! Jesus Christ!
Andrew, the main man.
I see you've got the guns out
and everything, huh?
Well, thanks for noticing,
it's all the pedalo lifting.
How's business?
Oh, really good actually. Yeah,
really good.
That's on the house, if you haven't
already paid.
In which case, I'll get you
a refund immediately.
What's 20% of fuck all, Andrew?
That's rhetorical, isn't it?
Cos that's what I'm getting at
the moment,
20% of fuck all.
Now, do I look like the type
of bloke that would be happy
with 20% of fuck all?
I'll answer that one. No.
I'm gonna put the word out,
fill this fucking place with chaps
and faces.
What do you reckon?
Er, yeah. I mean
That's interesting.
Good Good ideas being
thrown around.
Or, I dunno,
we could do a sort of version of that
where it's sort of more exclusive,
if you want, maybe, I dunno.
Sort of less people.
Who set you up down here, Andrew?
S Er, you did, Ron.
That's fucking right.
I did.
And don't you forget it.
Do you get me?
Yep.
Good lad.
MICK: How's that ping-pong looking?
Look at that floor, lovely work,
you can see your face in that.
Mate, my radio, it's still not working.
Have a look at it, mate.
Hello, Bovril, mate, you all right?
Danny! Dom, you all right?
Cyril. Hiya.
Correspondence from my favourite bit
of prison fluff, Dottie.
Have a sniff. Save it.
Ooh! That's nice.
Roses, I could smell roses.
Different. Roses and strawberry jam.
She's made her sandwich when she
was writing this.
"Dear Mick" That's me.
"When we get together again,
we will share everything.
"I need to find a way
to get my hands on you."
Like, all over me, I suppose,
like my arms and legs
but also my penis.
"I am dying to hear from you.
"The sooner, the better."
Get straight on it then,
you don't wanna keep her waiting.
"Without you I am nothing."
Yeah, she's keen, that's for sure.
Which I like.
Yeah. "Yours, Dottie."
It's quite sexy, isn't it?
Yeah, yeah.
Like, I can see everyone here eyeing
it through each other's armpits.
Having a little think of it.
That's what I like is depth,
you know.
Cos to, to get to my penis,
you've got to go through my heart.
I'm very I'm a romantic.
I like romance, I like to be seduced.
It's easy to write filth,
you've gotta write from the heart and
also from
It's a warning.
What do you mean a warning?
Who's warning me in here?
It seems like Clive Cornell's put
a hit out on you.
He's got someone in here.
Who, who? Is this you?
Is it? Who is this? Who?
Look, maybe we go back
to our cell. Don't make a scene, Mick.
I wanna say something, Cyril.
No, Mick. Cyril, Cyril!
Attention all! Paul, Clarky, stop
playing ping-pong, mate.
Put your paddle down.
It's come to my attention that
there's about to be
an attempt upon my life,
to which I say this.
If you come at Big Mick, you best
have had your breakfast.
I'm talking a double gut-buster,
cos I'm game.
I'll have it with any one of you.
I'll have it with ten of you at
a time!
And to that end, I say this, mate.
If you wanna get at me, mate,
even to get a chance at
a stab of the big name,
you need to get through Cyril.
You've gotta get through him first
and he's game, mate.
I wouldn't even have it.
He's the one person I'd actually be
scared of in here.
And he's on my side, mate!
So, to get through me, you've gotta
get through Cyril.
You get through him, you're gonna
be exhausted,
and then you've gotta go
toe-to-toe with Mick.
And I will knock the cunt out of you.
All right? You get that?
Why'd you have to say that?
Laying down a warning, mate.
Very much of the moment.
Almost instantly regretting it.
Eight o'clock is perfect.
And please pass onto the mayor that
we are very much looking forward
to it.
Si. Muchas gracias.
THE TWINS GIGGLE
Don't you laugh at Mummy's Spanish!
If tonight goes well,
I'm gonna build you a waterpark with
the biggest slides you've ever seen.
Do you want that? BOTH: Yeah.
And what's yes in Spanish?
BOTH: Si.
Muy bien.
And what's "I love you, Mummy," in
Spanish?
BOTH: Te amo, Mummy.
OK, I didn't know that.
You little showoffs.
You all right? What the fuck are you
wearing?
It's part of my character.
Andrew's into the authentic
Jamaican vibes.
Do people in Jamaica wear
leather waistcoats?
According to the man in
the leather shop, yes.
I need to speak to you about Ronnie.
I need you to have a word with him.
Ronnie, why?
He wants to open the bar at night.
He says he's going to bring all the faces.
I don't want "the faces," Nat-Nat.
I want my face away from "the faces"
as much as possible.
Sidney, I can't keep fighting all
your battles for you.
We're all trying to be something
we're not out here.
You need to earn some respect
for yourself from others.
Yeah, you're right.
I can't keep running.
Andrew's got to hold his own.
Yes. Andrew, he's a tough guy, ain't
he? Yeah.
Used to be a street fighter.
Exactly.
But also you might need to lose
the leather vest if you wanna be
taken seriously.
You look like a sex tourist.
What's a sex tourist?
My darling, sweet Dottie.
I hope this letter finds you well,
and smiling and saucy and beautiful.
I have big news. I am being moved
to Strangeways Prison.
There have been mutterings of
an attempt on my life.
You are the fire in my loins, girl.
You are the reason I enjoy masturbating.
Something like that, you think?
Or?
You You want me to write all
that?
Maybe. What else could I say?
You make every day that bit brighter.
You see me for who I truly am.
Yeah, I like that. Yeah, put that one.
Yeah? What you said. Yeah?
Yeah, get rid of all that All the
tugging stuff. OK.
Get it written, get that sent off.
We'll have a game of draughts or
something like that.
See you in a sec. All right.
CYRIL GASPS
Cyril? Cyril, Cyril, Cyril!
Cyril, stay with me, mate.
Guard! I blame myself, mate.
I partly blame myself.
I shouldn't have brought you
into this, Cyril.
Guard! He's Someone's got to him.
Someone fucking stabbed Cyril, mate.
You all right, boy?
Cyril? Cyril, love? Cyril, darling?
Cyril?
MUSIC: Love And Pride
by King
What are you doing here?
What's it look like I'm doing here?
I'm on me holidays.
Well, that's very nice but
there's plenty of other places
you could be having a drink.
But then I'd have to pay for it,
wouldn't I, son?
Yeah, well, you'll have to pay
for that here as well,
you know that.
Let me give you a friendly warning, Albert.
Cos you and I go way back now.
Out here
you're out of your depth.
A fanpot like you won't last
five minutes.
Do you understand?
I suggest you take the cell
and not the grave.
Well, actually, erm,
I'm not gonna take the cell or
the grave,
because I'm, I'm gonna take my hotel and,
and my beautiful family,
and we'll
And have a happy life
with our hotel, actually.
And I'm not a fanpot, by the way.
And I'm gonna take your beer
now, because
SAUNDERS SLAMS HIS HAND DOWN
BUZZER SOUNDS
SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS
All right, Dave, mate.
I see Chelsea won again.
You're doing all right, mate.
You could, you could win the league
this year, Dave.
Outside the gates, is it all right?
OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS
Here we are. Best table in the house.
Shall I get us a bottle of wine?
Vino tinto or vino blanco?
What would you prefer, Alcalde?
Champagne.
Si. De nada. No problemo.
SHE LAUGHS
Excuse me, por favor.
Albert, Saunders is here.
Yeah, I know. I was gonna see what
you thought we should do.
Waiting to see what I thought we
should do?
Well, I'm not exactly gonna invite
him in for nibbles, am I?
You need to get rid of him.
No, no, cos he might arrest me.
No, he can't arrest you.
He's got no power out here.
Oh, perfect then. Maybe we just
leave it and see how it pans out,
cos if he can't do anything and
What if he starts mouthing off in
front of the mayor?
It'll ruin everything. You said you
wanted to help.
Yeah, I did. And you said I was
helping with the potatas
brav-bravas.
Just get rid of him.
HE SIGHS
Fuck's sake!
Patatas bravas.
Lo siento. Perdon.
IN SPANISH:
Si Si, claro.
Si, si, por supuesto.
Piscina. Swimming pool. Claro.
Look, we are aware that you have
strong connections to
the water company
Don't, you can continue in Spanish,
I'm following, I'm following.
Our business model forecasts
a 30% operating profit margin,
year one,
40% year two
OK, are we continuing in English?
Yeah?
Plus, you will receive a gesture of
good will at the end of every month.
Which will be money.
Dinero.
Woman can't you see ♪
We've all had a great time,
it's just that we don't have tabs, mate,
so we do, do need to settle up.
I told, I told you, I'm good for it, son.
I know, but Don't worry, man,
I'll fucking sort you later on.
I'll be a lot less worried if you
just sorted it now.
I've got money falling
out of my arse, son.
I'm not seeing any falling out your
arse right now, mate.
I'll sort you. Well, I'm afraid
that's not the way of the
The policy of the bar, so we
Come on! Do nae be
Silly cunt slap, silly cunt bash,
silly cunt slap.
Do ya know what I mean?
I'll see you next Tuesday
Is there a problem?
There's no problem, I'm fucking leaving.
Yeah, but technically he hasn't
paid. So, I'm trying to
I've told ya I'm fucking good.
What the fuck is your problem?
Get on your fucking knees.
There's no need for violence.
Get on your fucking knees!
THE MAN GROANS IN PAIN
Yep. Tell him who you are.
I'm Andrew Andrew Canesten.
He's one of my boys.
I'm sorry, Ronnie, man.
I'm sorry, pal.
Right, tell him who owns this place.
All right, yeah, erm
This is my bar! And I will not!
I will not stand for this
behaviour, all right?
Kick him in the face.
Kick him in the face?
Please, Ronnie, mate.
I didn't fucking know.
Shut the fuck up!
Right, kick him in the face.
You know, it's half your bar,
so if you wanted
to kick him in the face
Kick him in the face!
Ah, do you know,
normally I would, Ron,
but I'm wearing sandals.
Right.
RONNIE SCREAMS
Very nice. And then I'll just
So He'll wake up
with sand in his eyes.
Don't you ever fuckin' embarrass me
like that again.
Right? Yep.
What are you fucking looking at?
Oh, there you are.
I wanted to find you,
cos I didn't want to have to do this
in front of everyone in there
and make a massive scene.
But I'm gonna need you
to take your leave,
cos I've had just about enough
of you for one night.
Is that right?
Yeah, it is right. It's
What the hell are you doing
here anyway?
What do you think I'm doing
here, Albert?
Hm? You really thought that you
could just run off
to Spain and that's it?
You're even thicker than
I gave you credit for, son.
We both know that you stole
the gold.
And I'm gonna fucking get you
for it.
Well, I'm sorry to break this
to you, mate,
but you can't fucking touch us
out here.
You wanna bet?
Do you wanna bet, more like, was
gonna be my question
to you. Do you Cos I'll
I love betting.
I bet till the cows come home.
And then
And I can do it all night
and then back into
the daytime again.
And guess what?
The cows will come back out
and I'll still be betting.
Well, come on, then Oh
big man. Put your hand there,
let's have a bet.
Go on, then, bet me. I'm not scared,
I'll bet you
Ow!
You can't do that!
Then report me, you mug.
Do you know who you're doing
business with? Eh, amigos?
They're on the run.
Uh!
Oh, sorry about that.
Everyone all right for drinks?
All sorted.
NERVOUS WHISPER: What the fuck?
Erm, bloody Brits abroad.
What was he talking about?
Oh, he's, erm, he's a bit mental.
Es muy loco.
SHE LAUGHS
Had a few too many drinks, methink.
And who, are you?
I'm I'm the waiter.
And where did you say your got your
money from?
Erm
I masterminded the biggest gold
robbery of all time.
THEY LAUGH
Ah, funny girl!
LAUGHING: Where did I get my money
from?
No, no, I'll tell ya,
I married an old, rich man,
and then when he died,
he left me everything.
LAUGHING: It's like my wife!
Women!
What?
Si?
NATASHA CHUCKLES
TYRES SCREECH, LOUD CRASH
MAN OUTSIDE: Hands where I can
fuckin' see 'em!
You, get out. Hurry up, let's
go! Hands where I can see 'em
Don't get out, mate. Don't get out!
Stay in the car, he can't hurt you in
the car.
On your knees!
Hands on your heads!
Oi, mate! He's got kids.
Get out! Go!
You, on your knees.
Gimme the keys.
You, who's got the keys?
Don't fucking look at me.
Hurry up! Let's fucking go! Quick!
Don't shoot me, all right?
I'll do anything, mate.
I'll be your slave.
Listen to me, listen,
I'll give you anything you
need, mate.
Whatever they're paying you,
I'll double it, mate.
I've got gold. Gold, mate.
What? Let's go.
Nah.
It can't be.
Phil? Is that you, Phil?
Yeah, obviously.
I thought you was dead.
Can't kill me, mate.
I'm bullet proof.
Well, actually the bullet proof vest,
turns out, it was bullet proof.
Come on, shut your noise.
All right, all right.
Let's save the emotional reunion
stuff till later.
I've got so much to tell you.
Do you wanna stand up? It's weird.
Yeah?
I know where we can go.
I've been writing to this beautiful
little sort.
My prison fluff.
Now, she's got a place just over
near Rotherhithe.
We can get down there,
hide out, keep our heads down.
Dottie?
How do you know her name's Dottie?
I am Dottie. That's how I knew you
was moving prison.
You're Dottie? Yeah.
I've been corresponding
with Dottie for months.
Explicit, erotic letters.
That's you? You're saying that's you?
It was me and I was writing it
in code.
The whole point of a code is
everyone knows the code.
You can't make up a code and expect
people to know a code's a code!
This ain't the time, we've gotta go.
No, this is the time.
We're having this
and we're having it
You've been playing
with my emotions, mate.
What about the pictures?
Well, it's just angles.
Angles? What was that,
the crease of your knee?
How'd you do that?
How'd you make that look like
a vagina then?
I tucked it back. What, your willy?
Mate, we've gotta go now.
You, you've got some explaining
to do. I've had a wank over you.
Anyway, let's go get our gold.
Viva Espana.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
MUSIC: Sembre Una Esperanza
by Enrique Morente