The Villains Of Valley View (2022) s02e01 Episode Script

1
[theme music playing]
So just like that, Havoc is
the new leader of all villains?
[chuckles] I'm sorry,
but that's hysterical.
Why is it hysterical?
Well, no offense, you're
already an unpredictable mess.
Throw in all that power and we're walking
a tightrope to the apocalypse.
Chaos! Hey! Show some
support for your sister.
I mean, we're all thinking it.
It doesn't mean you
have to say it out loud.
You don't think I can do it, do you?
Did the whole "unpredictable
mess" thing not make that clear?
Don't look at me. I'm terrified
just thinking about it.
For your information, I will
make a great leader!
I can't believe you're considering this.
What about all the hard work you've put
into becoming a better person?
And what about me?
Would you really
abandon your best friend?!
[scoffs] Of course not.
That's what cell phones are for.
Havoc, being leader is more
work than you think.
And with no experience,
you'll be in way over your head.
No, I can do this!
I'll just pick it up as I go.
Right, 'cause if Valley View High
has taught us anything
it's she's a fast learner.
Mom, you always wanted
a higher villain position.
Now that I'm leader,
you can be my Number Two!
Oh, I appreciate that, my love.
But I kinda prefer Valley View.
[chuckles] Mostly because
I get to sleep in a bed
rather than a subway car full of rats.
But this is our chance
to finally return to our villain lives.
I mean, isn't that what we always wanted?
Well, it was. But living in
Valley View has changed us.
I mean, we're still evil,
but now when it's chilly,
we get to cuddle up in those
blankets with sleeves.
What about Flashform?
He hasn't even gotten to be a villain yet.
Don't you want to stay?!
Nah. Using my powers to mess
with the unsuspecting suckers
in Texas is a lot more fun.
Those soccer moms never see it coming!
Come on, let's go home.
So that's it? I'm leader and I
don't even get a say in this?!
I am so sorry. You're just not ready.
You're coming home with us.
Not ready? I'm more than ready.
I'm readier than all of you!
Ahh! [groans]
[gasps]
Well, I was not ready for that.
[theme music playing]
Morning, Celia!
Don't be weird. What's this?
I didn't get an invite to breakfast.
And yet, here you are.
Hartley, I need you to come home and pop
something on my back.
[gag]
I just hope whatever comes out
this time doesn't have a tail.
Celia, this might be the reason
you don't get an invite to breakfast.
You wanna see it squirming around?
[all] No!
[Colby] Ow!
What was that?
It was like I ran into
someone but no one's there.
Uh, must be another ghost.
I swear, you accidentally bulldoze
one house full of drifters
and they never let you forget it.
Colby!
What were you thinking using
your invisibility around Celia?!
It's not my fault! I turned
invisible to scare Jake
this morning but he took
so long manscaping
I started playing on my phone.
I must've gotten so distracted
I forgot to turn back.
Yeah, it was totally my fault.
You need to be more
responsible with your powers.
And you better be using your own razor!
Sorry, it won't happen again.
Good. Now, come on, we need
you to shape-shift
into our elderly neighbor
and convince his wife
to put us in their will.
[sighs]
Let me guess, still bummed
about not being villain leader?
Less about the "leader" part, more about
my family not thinking I can do it.
[scoffs] I mean, you think I can, right?
[stammers] Well, I think
that you think that I think that you can
Hartley!
Well, what do you think I think?
Look, all that matters is that you're here
in Valley View. Where you belong.
[Celia] Hartley! Will you hurry
up and pop this thing?
I'm pretty sure it just winked
at me in the mirror!
Don't suppose you have
a rain poncho handy?
No? Okay.
[sighs]
[intriguing music playing]
Listen up, fellow villains.
The wait is over.
Your new leader has arrived.
[cheering]
Eva, check it out! I'm
booby-trapping the mailbox.
If our mail carrier can't
deliver the bills,
we shouldn't have to pay them.
Aah! There's the man I married.
Hidey-ho, Maddens!
Oh, there's the man I didn't.
Principal Tennyson! What a surprise to see
you on a weekend!
And I'm not just saying that
because you're my boss
and I long to be away
from you during the week.
It's a nice outfit. Did you lose a bet?
[laughs] Don't be jelly. Not everybody
can pull off "gushing grape."
I'm on my neighborhood watch power-walk.
It's how I look out for
suspicious activity and tighten my glutes.
Anyhoo, I'll see you later
at my "Parent-Principal Saturday Social."
Oh, that sounds horrific.
[chuckles] Is it something
we're supposed to attend?
And if so, he said "parent,"
which means one.
Oh, I expect you both!
The whole point is to ridicule parents
on their terrible teens.
Double the parents, double the
shame. [giggles] See ya there!
I gotta say, that man does
have great glutes.
Sorry! Didn't see ya!
But, I mean, in my defense,
a man your age should really be wearing
some sort of reflective vest.
Well, if you didn't see us,
I guess you didn't see Principal Tennyson.
Who you could have super-sped right into!
Seriously, Colbs.
Texting and super-speeding?!
I mean, not only did
you almost get caught,
but you could've seriously
hurt your father.
At his age, his bones are very brittle.
Get inside!
That kid never learns. I think
it's time we teach him a lesson.
Agreed.
Hey! What happened to the booby trap?
[grunts]
[sighs] Yup. Definitely the man I married.
Wow, who did all this?
I did! As our new leader,
you deserve a lair that
reflects your personality.
Have we met?
No. I'm Shadow.
My family and I transferred
here while you were gone.
We spent most of our lives
living in the gutter. Literally.
It's amazing how many people
you can cram into one of those things.
Hey, quick question. If you were leader,
which you're not, but if you were, what
would your first order of business be?
Oh. Well, first up, you need to figure out
what to do with him
[growls]
[gasps] Uh, what is that thing?
Mm, Onyx's emotional support monster.
He even had the fake
paperwork to take him on planes.
Oh. Great. Well, then let's put him on
one and send him to the superheroes.
[growls]
Yeah. He didn't like that.
Oh, please, how much
damage could he possibly do in that thing?
[growling]
[gasping]
Oh!
Well, now he can do some damage.
What are we gonna do?
Shadow, it's times like these
you need to face your fears
and protect the people who mean the most.
Oh, spoken like a true leader.
I was talking about you.
This is way below my pay grade. [chuckles]
Right. Don't worry. I got this! After all,
I am here to serve you.
[giggles] Yeah, that's never
gonna get old. Later.
Oh, Havoc, you've been gone so long
you forgot the first rule
of being a villain.
Always watch your back.
[ominous music playing]
- [screams]
- [screams]
Where were you?
I
used Dad's teleportal to
sneak off to a Taylor Swift concert!
Yep! Busted! I'm a Swiftie! [chuckles]
Really? Sing one of her songs.
Oh, uh [snickers] [clears throat]
La la la, boys are bad
Shoobee-doobee-doo ♪
Taylor doesn't tour till fall!
First, the surprise album,
then the secret bonus tracks,
then the limited-edition colored vinyl,
and then the tour!
Any true Swiftie knows that.
[snickers] Okay. Fine. You got me.
I used it to sneak back to Centropolis to
be Leader of All Villains.
But I thought Mom and Dad told you not to.
Yeah, because, just like you,
they don't think I have what it takes.
But I'm going to prove you all wrong.
Amy, you can't just live a double life.
At some point,
it's going to catch up to you.
There you go again,
telling me what I can't do!
How about for once you just sit back and
watch what I can do, okay?!
Okay.
Thank you.
[Hartley] Amy! Are you down there?
[sighs] Whatever you do,
do not tell Hartley.
She'll freak if she finds out I lied
to her and went back to being a villain.
Fine. As long as you don't tell her
I've been using her password to log on
to the Swiftie fan site.
I love my Tay Tay, but 20 bucks a month
is highway robbery!
[growls]
[suspenseful music playing]
[growls]
Amy? Are you up there?!
Amy?! Amy!
Right here!
Oh. Where've you been?
Just [sighs] doing some homework.
You never do homework.
Exactly! So stop asking questions
and take it as a victory. [chuckles]
- [items crashing]
- What was that?
Sounded loud and destructive.
My money's on Celia.
What the
[growling]
[gasps] What is that thing?
My guess is whatever you popped
off your grandma's back.
[snickers] Okay, fine!
It's Onyx's pet monster!
Well, how did it get here?
I must've left the teleportal
open when you distracted me.
So great job, Jake!
This is all your fault.
Why were you using a teleportal?
I used it to sneak back to Centropolis to
be villain leader.
What? You lied to me?!
Yeah. Maybe but only because
I didn't expect to get caught.
[Celia] Who dead-bolted this door?!
Fair warning, I'll drive my
lawn mower right through it!
Great. It's Celia. She's gonna
freak if she sees that thing!
Or worse, what if all her
banging riles it up
and it breaks through the door
and tries to attack her?!
[both] My money's on Celia.
Okay, let's just own the fact
that our kids are hot messes
and we'll be out of here in 10 minutes.
Oh, I can be out of here in
five if I blame it all on you.
Mr. and Mrs. Madden!
Ya might wanna have a snack,
'cause this is gonna take a while.
FYI, stay away from
the brand-name cookies.
Those are for the good students' parents.
Guys, something's wrong!
My powers aren't working!
Ha-ha! Oh, we know!
Since you couldn't be responsible, your
father made a device
that put a parental lock on them.
You what?!
That's right. Now I control your powers
with my own little remote.
You've gone from the Chosen One
to the Chosen None!
[gasps]
Colby! I didn't expect to see you here.
Now you can be front and center
when I tell your parents
all about your odd behavior
and mysterious conduct.
[laughs] Isn't this fun?
Well, at least Celia's meaty knocks
scared the monster into the kitchen.
Yeah. Those knuckles do come in handy.
I once saw her drive a nail
into a wall with one punch.
[pounding on door]
[Celia] Hartley! You in there?
Are these people holding
you against your will?
I never trusted that moody
brunette you call a friend!
Look, you and I will
handle your grandmother.
Jake, you go lure the monster
down to the lair
so we can send
him back through the teleportal.
Why me?
You have super-strength.
Besides, would you rather deal with Celia?
Monster it is!
Hey, Celia! How may I help you?
You can help yourself out of my way
so I can watch my afternoon court shows.
Can't you just watch our TV
at home? [nervous laughs]
That's a negative. I kicked
a hole in it last night.
Were you watching a football game?
The Sound of Music.
I'll show you how to
solve a problem like Maria.
[low growling]
Uh Grandma [nervous chuckles]
you seem stressed.
I think we should meditate!
Just close your eyes
and pretend we're on a beach.
The sun is shining. The palms are swaying.
Now that you mentioned it,
I can feel the breeze.
It's hot. And stinky.
Is this beach next to the dump?
Oh, that's just the couch.
Yeah, sometimes we use it as a trashcan.
And sometimes we use the trashcan
as a couch. We're just weird people.
Okay, Grandma, you can open your eyes!
There. Don't you feel more relaxed?
No! The only thing that relaxes me
is watching people lose their court cases.
Outta my way!
[screams]
What was that?
The oven.
Yep! We are baking a cake for you!
It's a screaming cake.
I do like things that scream.
Great! We'll go see if it's done!
Ah! Here it is. Another perfect example
of Colby's peculiar behavior at school.
Every time there's a pop quiz
in math class, he disappears. Literally!
[laughing hysterically]
Not what I was expecting, but okay.
That's crazy! Disappears?!
I mean, seriously. Could
a kid actually disappear?
This is the weirdest
looking remote I've ever seen.
Which one is the power button?!
I'm telling you. He's marked present at
the beginning of the class,
but whenever there's a quiz, he's gone.
Where'd he go? This is what
I was talking about!
I'm right here.
Oh!
See? He's mastered the quick escape.
Either your son's a magician, or
he's done time in prison. Possibly both.
Principal Tennyson, we hear you. The kid's
a hot mess. Can we go?
Look, I promise I'll behave.
Just please give me another chance.
Fine. But you've used up
all your chances with me.
The next time I see anything unusual,
I'm turning this over
to the school superintendent
who will conduct a thorough investigation.
How thorough?
Oh, he gets all up in it!
Oh, Mrs. Miller!
Let's have a chat about Kayla!
I hope you brought tissues,
'cause there will be tears.
What were you thinking using
your invisibility in front of Tennyson?
I didn't! Dad shut my
powers off! Remember?
Oh, no. The parental lock
remote. I left it at home.
Someone must've hit
the invisibility button!
So, you created it to
teach me to be responsible,
but you irresponsibly left
total control of all my powers
just laying around at home?
Yeah, I'm a hot mess, too.
Now come on, let's go!
Maybe it's this one.
[grunts] Ow!
Principal Tennyson, I can explain.
Oh, no need, Mr. and Mrs. Madden.
I'd like you to meet
the school superintendent.
Go ahead! Get all up in there!
- Get back!
- [growling]
Jake! How did you get him back downstairs?
It was more of him throwing
me down the stairs.
Come on, help me find the device so we can
activate the teleportal
and send him back to Centropolis.
Uh, guys? Could that be it?
[gulps]
[burps]
Oh. Not gonna lie, I thought
that was gonna smell a lot worse.
Oh, yep, now it's hitting me.
[growls]
Okay, there are only two ways to get
that device out of the monster's stomach.
Hartley and I will take
the disgusting way.
Jake you can take the way
more disgusting way.
- [growls]
- [gasps]
[scoffs] Did you two really
just use the only person
in the room without
superpowers as a shield?!
Oh, Hartley, stop making
this all about you.
Why don't you just use your super-strength
and do the Heimlich on him?
Because if it doesn't work he'll tear me
apart limb from limb!
Yeah, I'm not seeing the problem.
Oh, maybe it's because
you are the problem.
Really? 'Cause if you weren't there
playing with your mannequins,
none of this would have happened!
Just stop arguing!
Maybe if we just ask him politely,
he'll just cough it up.
Follow my lead. Hey, Mr. Monster!
[roars]
Hey! Get away from her! [grunts]
The device! Well, that was lucky.
Hurry up and activate the teleportal!
[growling]
[grunts]
Well, great job, everyone.
You know what, take the rest
of the day for yourselves.
I was just telling our superintendent
all about Colby and all the weird
stuff he's been doing.
He's got a lot of questions for you.
So open up, 'cause he's coming in!
Sir, there is nothing odd
about our son's behavior.
Come on, you stupid thing! Work!
Nope. Nothing odd here!
Can you excuse us? I think the generic
cookies are starting to kick in.
Oh, the Fords. Let's go inform them
that their son's a notebook eater!
Maybe I'm not hitting them hard enough.
Time to bust out the double thumbs.
Oh!
[gasps]
What just happened?
When I added a parental lock
for Colby's powers,
I also added one for yours,
so you can't zap me when you get
mad. Ya know, like right now.
What do you know? Another odd
and mysterious thing
happening when Colby's around.
All right, I demand an explanation.
[stammering]
I'll tell you what's going on.
You've been spending
so much time coming down on your students,
that you didn't even notice that those
sparking light fixtures are a fire hazard!
What? But that's not my job!
Is it?
Well [nervous laughing] Wait. No! Stop!
Okay [stammering]
Everybody back! I gave you people cookies!
Oh, nice one, Colbs!
Hey. Should we just stick around
and watch them eat him alive?
[groans]
I don't know who has the remote,
but that was brilliant!
Hey, I'm sorry I lied about being leader.
I knew you didn't want me
being a villain again,
and I didn't want to let you down.
At least you learned your lesson.
Please tell me you learned your lesson.
You know what? I already know the answer,
so I'm just gonna leave.
What'd she say? I still got half a gallon
of monster puke in my ear!
Here. I can help.
Amy! Oh, that is better.
Thanks for saving my butt.
Yeah, well, you're my sister.
It kinda comes with the territory.
Look, I know you were just
joking when you said it but
I don't want you to think
I'm an unpredictable mess.
Oh, Amy. I wasn't joking.
Look, I'm sorry if I made you feel like
you had to prove something
to me, or Mom and Dad.
Well, that's just it. I I thought
I was trying to prove it to you but
I was actually just trying
to prove it to myself.
Ever since I got us chased
out of Centropolis,
I feel like the failure of the family.
[sighs] What are you talking about? You're
the one who defeated Onyx!
That was one time.
And after seeing how you all
reacted to me being leader,
it felt like you were all just
waiting for me to mess up again.
And today I did.
Look, we all make mistakes.
But as long as we're
there to help each other,
that's all that matters.
You might be an unpredictable mess,
but you're still my sister.
And I'll always have your back.
Thanks. I'll always have yours, too.
Even if you are an uptight,
annoyingly positive Swiftie.
[sighs] Well, I better teleport
back to Centropolis
and tell them to find a new leader.
Hey, uh, before you go,
can you send one more sonic
blast through my ear?
I think that leftover monster puke
is working its way to my brain.
Back so soon?
Shadow. Hey. Where'd the monster go?
Oh, one of the henchmen adopted him.
We're hoping it sticks.
What's that?
This? Oh, uh, it's a little
light show I travel with.
I like to make an entrance. [chuckles]
You sure it's not the teleportal
you've been using
to go back and forth between
here and Valley View?
How do you know about Valley View?
Onyx told me.
He told me everything.
After all, he was my father.
You're Onyx's daughter?
Yeah, I just said that. Keep up. Hmm?
So that's why we never met. Because
he sheltered you from villain life.
Mm, and now I'm gonna follow
in his footsteps
and take over as the rightful
Leader of All Villains.
Just for the record,
that'd be a lot more impactful
if you weren't twirling your
hair like a cheerleader.
Look, I only came to tell you I quit.
I'm going back to Valley View.
You're not going anywhere.
You have Immobilization?
Yup. A little something
I got from my father.
[screams]
[grunts]
[chuckles] Nice try, Havoc.
But it's time for you to
pay for what you've done.
Well, it's about time. Your TV
remote needs new batteries.
I should've known it was you!
Celia, I-I know you think
whatever's ours is yours,
but that remote is definitely
an exception.
What's so special about this thing?!
Stop! Pressing! Buttons!
Fine. I'll just go watch my own TV.
Even with a hole in it, it still
works better than yours.
[theme music playing]