Twisted Metal (2023) s02e01 Episode Script
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1
[Alpha Raven] Hi, John.
I'm Raven, COO of New San Francisco.
I want to hire you to pick up a package,
bring it back.
If you go to New Chicago,
I will make you a citizen
of New San Francisco.
[grunts]
[John Doe] Okay. So since
you like to be quiet,
that's what I'm going
to call you. Quiet.
Is that okay, Quiet?
That ain't no birthday clown.
There's not a person on the West Coast
that hasn't heard of Sweet Tooth.
This is gonna be fun!
[grunting]
Any chance we eat this back in the cars?
[laughing]
Whoa!
[Tommy] The roads out east
aren't like the roads here.
[yelping]
There's chaos out there, John.
[Sweet Tooth] You know,
Stu, I got a feeling
you and I are kindred spirits.
- [yelling]
- [Stu] Mike!
- Well, you're fucking stupid!
- Well, so are you!
What do you want to name him?
[Quiet] Roadkill.
[Alpha Raven] Congratulations, John.
Welcome to New San Francisco.
She's not allowed to enter.
You're going to go in,
and you're going to be happy.
- Quiet
- [gunshot]
No. Quiet!
[Milkman] You're the one who's
been robbing milkmen.
[Quiet] The insiders have been
running this shit
for far too long.
It's time somebody shared the wealth.
[grunts]
I heard you know my brother.
You think a residential upgrade
is going to keep me here? Pass.
[Alpha Raven] This is where you grew up.
[John Doe] I found my home
out there with Quiet.
[Alpha Raven] There's
going to be a tournament.
You will drive, John Doe.
You're going to help me win.
[dramatic music]
[tires squealing]
[Kelly] Slow down, slow down!
Raven, you're crazy.
[laughing]
Holy shit.
Did Destiny just bone Josh and Bryce?
Destiny is such a hypocrite.
Raven, why are we going
to the douchiest graduation party ever?
What if we do literally anything else?
Or we let the fates decide.
Okay, that seems bad.
No, it means things are
going to get better.
In a few months,
we're going to UC Santa Cruz,
and we're going to leave
these losers behind.
Then it's just you and me, Kelly.
First,
we gotta take Destiny down a peg.
'Cause we clubbin' and we bustin' ♪
Yeah we gonna get it in
till the night fall ♪
If nothin' else lose yourself
get outta control ♪
A lotta crews in the news again ♪
You carpet munchers better
not be doing any witchcraft.
This is a house of the Lord.
Tarot is just for fun.
It might reveal something
you didn't expect.
Do us. Come on.
Maybe it'll reveal
why you're so hot, huh?
[laughing]
Oh ho, yo!
[Young Raven] The death card
means one phase is ending
as a new one begins.
We're graduating. Duh.
[snorts]
[straining]
- [gasps]
- [Levi] Whoa!
What the fuck?
You have new life
inside you.
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
- We only do anal.
Oh, sorry. What? What?
Everybody knows.
There might be deceit
in the relationship.
Is Destiny your destiny
or someone else's?
[Destiny] Enough!
This is nothing but a bunch
of unholy demon worship!
Wait.
Some people just can't
handle their dark magic.
[Destiny screaming]
Honey bear?
Honey bear, I'm coming.
Destiny! Oh
[giggling]
[screams] You okay? What is it?
[yelps]
[music playing]
Who did this?
Oh, god!
[Levi] Destiny! Destiny!
[whispering] Kelly?
Kelly, where are you?
[screaming]
[Calypso laughing]
[engines revving]
[tires squealing]
[Gorillaz' "Clint Eastwood" playing ]
Hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo ♪
I ain't happy I'm feeling glad ♪
I got sunshine in a bag ♪
Ah, shit!
I'm useless but not for long ♪
The future is coming on ♪
I'm happy I'm feeling glad ♪
[video game beeps]
I got sunshine in a bag ♪
I'm useless but not for long ♪
[bike chime rings]
The future is coming on ♪
It's coming on it's coming on ♪
It's coming on it's coming on ♪
Finally someone let me
out of my cage ♪
John Doe, pizza delivery man.
'Cause I'm counting no age ♪
Nah I couldn't be there
now you shouldn't be scared ♪
Hey!
And I'm under each snare intangible ♪
Bet you didn't think so
so I command you to ♪
Panoramic view look
I'll make it all manageable ♪
Pick and choose sit and lose ♪
All you different crews
chicks and dudes ♪
[laughing]
Who you think
is really kicking tunes ♪
You guys go ahead.
I'm gonna baptize this church over here.
Like you lit the fuse
you think it's fictional ♪
Mystical maybe spiritual hero ♪
Who appears in you
to clear your view ♪
When you're too crazy ♪
Lifeless to those ♪
Goddamn poles.
Oh, shit!
[grunts]
You like it gun smoking
righteous with one toke ♪
Get psychic among those
possess you with one dose ♪
I ain't happy I'm feeling glad ♪
I got sunshine in a bag ♪
I'm useless but nor for long ♪
The future is coming on ♪
[bike bell chimes]
John Doe, pizza delivery.
I got sunshine in a bag ♪
- [grunts]
- My eye!
See you in hell!
The future is coming on ♪
It's coming on it's coming on ♪
It's coming on it's coming on ♪
[Raven] Let's see.
Alpha Raven is stationed at Kelly's Bar.
Beta, I need you to lead
the community meeting
at Golden Gate Park. Keep them in line.
Gamma, put an end to the work
stoppage at the wharf.
Remind the port master
I'm happy to hold back
on his daughter's medication.
Gotta say,
I still like the first Raven
better than you.
Ugh, "Downtown" Raven?
Yeah, everyone loves her.
She did well, fit the look
the public tends to respond to.
For some reason, everyone fears
mommy in a pantsuit.
In my opinion, she got
too big for her blouse.
You know she's from Molesto?
I think you mean Modesto.
Clearly, you've never been there.
I gotta say,
I didn't like the way she handled you.
The tournament could be
announced any minute.
And instead of having
a leg up on training,
you've been running around
like a jackass.
And I get it.
That girl who shot you
in the chest was special.
I had someone special too.
We made dolls of our enemies together.
See, if I want you to feel joy,
you'll feel joy.
And if I want you to feel pain
[gasps] [groans]
Uh-oh, then I get to feel joy.
Try to escape all you want,
but you'll always be here in my grasp!
[groaning]
The only way you're
getting out of this city
is by driving my car.
You will help me bring back Kelly!
Who's Kelly?
[gasping] [Raven giggling]
You've been a bad boy, Jonathan.
That's not my name.
Starting today, you train,
you go home, you sleep.
That's it. You're grounded.
- Whatever.
- That means no more DVDs.
You can't do that.
You cause nothing but chaos!
Ugh. Get him home.
[John Doe] At least
let me take a shit first.
Dump away.
[door shuts]
[sighs] [chuckles]
[spurs jingling]
Arthritis acting up, old timer?
[gunshot] [body thuds]
If you horses can't work,
to the gluer you go.
Now move! We got orders.
[Man] They broke through the wall!
[gunfire]
[screaming]
[gunshots] [screaming]
Where's the medicine?
[yelps]
Don't make me ask again.
♪♪
Before the dance.
Dance? What dance?
Word on the coast is that you're making
pharmaceuticals for the insiders.
I'm here to fill my prescription.
That's old news.
They make all their meds in-house now.
Then what's all this?
Lube.
We struck a deal with
the Flagstaff sex colony.
- Arizona, huh?
- Gets real dry down there.
Almost as dry as his wife.
[jeering and laughing]
Do you think this is funny?
You and your little puppet whores
have been attacking my supply lines.
Insiders all over are
dying because of you.
[slow footsteps]
And outsiders are dying because of you.
We are just here to make things even.
What are you gonna do, Mace me?
No, I'm gonna watch you dance.
[screaming]
[laughing]
Can't find that shade of pink anywhere.
Ladies, time to accessorize!
Take everything. [cheering]
Hurry up! Get the shit!
[panting]
Help! You gotta help me.
This monster is after me.
He's terrifying. Please.
Who? Who is he?
My best friend.
[grunting]
[Raider] Hey, what's going on?
[Sweet Tooth] Yoo-hoo!
[groaning]
[giggling]
Pancake!
[grunting and coughing]
So how'd I do?
Eh.
Well, let's start with the positives.
Passion. I mean,
I can't even teach that.
But unfortunately,
you missed every major
organ on his body.
Oh, sorry. I-I panicked.
Yeah. Hey, listen.
When in doubt, go for the fruits,
grapes, apple, banana.
- Grapes, apple, banana.
- Grapes, apple, banana.
Got it.
Now, what do we do with you?
Hey, I could let you go.
We could have you go out
and tell the world
everything that happened here today.
Or I could carve a hole in your back
and puppet you around
like a wooden dummy.
- The first one!
- [coughing]
I am a huge gossip.
And I will tell everyone about Big Baby.
Big Baby? Who's Big Baby?
Isn't that you?
Does he look like a big baby?
Hey, hey, you're not helping, Stu.
Big Baby is the most infamous killer
in the whole country.
He slaughtered a whole town in one day.
No, no, no.
I'm the main event, right? I'm the star.
And I'm not going
to get upstaged by some
some child! [squelching]
Apple.
Now come on.
We got a baby to kill.
Apple.
Sorry about the TV, John.
Ugh. [chuckles]
You know there's beds upstairs, right?
You know, sleeping on
that couch every night
is B-A-D for your B-A-C-K.
I'm good down here. Thanks.
Okay, I'll leave you to it.
[door closes]
[John Doe] 3 to 6.2 to 4.
2 to 6.2 to 6? [scoffs]
There's nothing to do.
[sighs] Hmm.
[sighs]
♪♪
Goodbye, Dawn.
Oh, I'm so happy
you and Mary Anne made up
before you left for California.
Okay.
90?
Where the hell is 89?
[mumbling]
Abby?
Who the fuck is Abby?
You mean to tell me I missed
a whole new member being
inducted to the club?
Fuck! Shit!
89.89 has to be around here somewhere.
Shit.
Shake that thing Miss Kana Kana ♪
Shake that thing Miss Annabella ♪
Shake that thing yan Donna Donna ♪
Jodi and Rebecca ♪
Woman get busy
just shake that booty nonstop ♪
Anything you want to call it ♪
Oscillate your hips
and don't take pity ♪
Me wanna see ya get live ♪
Pon de rhythm when me ride ♪
And me lyrics
that provide electricity ♪
Gal nobody can tell you nothin' ♪
Til you're done with your destiny ♪
Yo sexy ladies wanna par with us ♪
In the car with us
and they ride with us ♪
Yeah, work that plantar fasciitis,
you little bitch.
I'm just about done with these tootsies.
Who wants next?
Dana, I know those puppies are barking.
- I'm busy, Jeremy.
- Yeah.
I love watching you throw your ax.
Every chop gives me chills.
I can show you how, if you want.
I'm a very good teacher.
The secret is in the grip.
Queens!
You have every reason to celebrate.
Those insiders are quaking
behind their walls.
[cheering] And for today,
we have Quiet to thank.
Shit, the raid was her idea. [cheering]
And from ideas we bring change.
Who disrupted the Milkmen
supply lines? You.
Who affected the bottom line
of the insiders? You.
And we are just getting started.
[cheering]
We got to go bigger.
We've got to go badder.
We've got to go bloodier.
We've got to destroy the one thing
standing in between
the insiders and outsiders.
The walls! [cheering]
Yeah! Yeah! Whoo!
We are going to bring down
the walls of a mega city.
They hold the best food,
the best supplies,
the most wealth.
It's time we get a piece.
And if they don't want to give it up,
fuck 'em! [cheering]
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
[John Doe] That's a weird place
to hang a poster.
There's my girls.
89, jackpot.
Oh, man!
[groans]
Hmm, well. [sniffs]
Here's to you, Ann M. Martin,
for welcoming a lonely Milkman
to the club.
Hmm.
[coughs]
Huh.
[coughs]
- [Child Dollface]
- Horses. Horses. I love horses.
I love horses!
I wonder if she liked horses.
- [Child Dollface]
- Names I'd give my horses.
Buttercup. Kit-Kat.
We drove up north
to Grandpop's cabin today.
Cabin.
- [Child Dollface]
- And we passed a Ferris wheel
and even drove through
a red covered bridge.
When we got there,
we saw something amazing.
Horses.
[groans]
I made a secret map
of the sewers for my brother.
He actually went down
the manhole and got pinkeye.
That's mean.
- [Child Dollface]
- If he ever read this, I'd die,
because I found his deepest,
darkest secret,
and it's on page 72,
Made you look, you dumb dookie face!
- [laughing]
- I'm not a dookie face!
[grunting]
♪♪
Cowabunga, motherfuckers.
John!
I got a hoagie for my bro-gie!
"Meet me in the bathroom."
In the bathroom?
[water running] John, you in here?
- Oh, sorry.
- Chester!
- Get your ass in here.
- John, uh,
look, you're a great friend, really,
but that is as far as this can go.
No. Look, I need to talk to you,
Raven could be listening.
She hears everything.
I'm the only one here.
What if we just talk
[whispering] Like this?
Chester, please.
You're the only one I can trust.
[sighs] Okay, fine.
What the hell are you doing?
Why are you getting naked?
- Oh, right.
- Yeah.
Yeah, stupid.
Scooch on in. whoa.
Uh
So why are you naked?
You expect me to take
a shower in my swim trunks?
- Don't be an idiot.
- Okay.
When I was a kid, my sister
drew me a map of the sewers.
So I could explore 'em
like a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.
This-this feels like a story
you could have told me
out of the shower.
No, no, no, no, no.
You know where the sewers lead?
To the bay, beyond the walls.
It's a way out, Chester. We can escape.
John, I'm not sure I want to escape.
- What?
- I've heard the stories.
It's like a ghetto out there.
I mean, there's a reason they put
all those criminals out of the city.
You know me. Am I a criminal?
No, no, it's not just that. I
- Hmm.
- Come on, what is it?
It's Raven.
She controls us, all of us.
She-she knows where to put the pressure
to use our weaknesses against us.
Chester.
Do you know what's outside those walls?
Freedom, right?
You can go anywhere you want
with whoever you want.
My family, we have a cabin.
A beautiful cabin
in the middle of nowhere.
Mm-hmm.
And when I find my girl,
I'm going to take her
to that cabin, Chester.
You can come with us.
But you gotta tell me right now
if you want to go.
Are you in, or are you out?
- [sputtering]
- Okay?
Are you in, or are you out?
You have to tell me right now, Chester.
- You have to tell me.
- Okay.
- Are you in?
- Okay.
- Are you in?
- I'm in.
- You're in?
- I'm in!
[laughing]
You're my man. We're family now.
- We're family.
- Yeah.
Okay.
Can you get my back?
[sewing machine whirring]
I'm almost done.
Have a seat.
Look, Dollface, about this plan.
I'm sorry. I can't concentrate
on anything you're saying.
Your brows are busted.
It's best if they're twins,
okay if they're cousins,
but those motherfuckers
don't even look related.
- About your plan.
- Mm-hmm.
We lost ammo and gas today.
We're going to lose a lot more than that
taking on a mega city.
I've really bonded with these girls,
Dana, even Ashley.
I don't want any of them to die.
You know what's dead?
Those cheeks.
So? I mean, I wear a mask half the time.
The mask doesn't hide our beauty.
It unites us.
When one Doll falls,
another picks up the mask.
Look up.
Do you know which direction up is?
Oh, yeah. Sorry.
I-I believe in the mission, too.
I mean, it's just I-I
I don't think your plan
is the way to fix things.
And what's your plan?
Ask nicely?
The insiders are living it up
while we're living in hell.
I mean, I can't even reunite
with my own brother
because he's behind
some concrete and rebar.
Not that he'd remember me anyway.
It's funny,
when I heard about
some motormouth Milkman
who drove across the country,
I knew it was my brother.
I just
I just felt it, you know?
When I went looking for him,
I found you instead.
And you,
you fit in real well.
I see big things for you, Quiet.
But now we're all going to a big party,
and we are gonna have a good time.
So you've got to decide
if you're coming with us or not.
Look at you,
all dolled up.
♪♪
[bag crinkling, munching]
Mama!
I'm thirsty for milk!
Mama can't nurse you right now!
She's making her water!
Sweetums?
We got stranger danger.
Oh, that's cute!
Big Baby's last steps.
What you got there, little guy?
Oh, you disturbed my feeding, you fuck!
Baby said a no-no word.
Ow!
[groaning]
[yelping] What are you doing?
What the fuck, lady?
- "What the fuck, lady?"
- [screaming]
Oh, Baby likes to miss.
[shouts] [groans]
Cootchie cootchie coo!
[both groaning]
Oh, my pelvic floor!
[growling]
- [screaming]
- My tubesy!
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
- What the fuck is that?!
I knew you'd find me and kill me,
Trash Man!
- [cleaver clangs]
- Wait, wait, wait. Wait.
Trash Man? Who-Who's Trash Man?
The biggest gun
this side of the Mississipp'.
[screaming]
[choking]
And stay down, you old hag!
What happened?
Apparently there's
some jackoff out there
called Trash Man
who's an even more famous killer
than the Big Baby.
Is Trash Man covered in trash?
- Or does he take out the trash?
- I don't know, man.
What I do know is that
I need to track him down,
and I need to kill him.
I swear, it is like
whack a mole out here.
What if we come up
with some kind of contest?
We get the best killers in the country,
and we have them face off against you
in a I don't know,
a battle royale tournament or something.
Then when you're the last survivor,
everyone will know
Sweet Tooth is the best.
Ooh, that legit sent
chills down my spine.
And I love it.
Great. Uh, how do we invite everybody?
We? No, no, no. You.
Stu, you're more of a logistics guy.
I'm the talent.
Hey, appreciate you organizing this,
'cause it's gonna be a bitch.
[church bells ringing]
[starts]
Good. You got my message.
Okay. John told me to meet him here.
He's going to escape through the sewers.
One of these.
[Raven] You've done well, Chester.
Ma, 'am. He's wearing John's clothes.
What?
He lent them to me, ma'am.
Mine were wet.
We took a shower.
Together.
♪♪
♪♪
Okay.
[beeping]
[buzzes]
Shit.
What was the name she said?
Chloe, Kristy.
No, shit, that's the Babysitters' Club.
Kelly, yes.
[beeping]
[chimes and clicks]
[chuckles]
No way.
Evelyn?
Oh, shit, you're not Evelyn,
but a little bit of work,
you'll be a bad bitch.
[muted beeping]
[doors creaking]
What the hell?
[beeping]
You must be Kelly.
[amplified, staticky laughter]
[static]
[opening tones]
Good evening, friends.
It's so nice to see all of you.
I am Calypso.
I've got a very special
announcement to make.
So let's get to the business at hand.
I'm hosting a tournament,
and I invite you,
the best drivers from all across
the Divided States of America
to compete.
Assassins, mercenaries,
vigilantes, joy riders,
all are welcome.
In one week's time,
the contest will begin.
The rules are simple.
Choose your vehicle
and show how good you are
by defeating everyone else.
The last one standing
will be crowned the victor.
What do you think?
I think this Calypso guy
beat you to market.
Anything to add, Big Baby?
[squelching]
"Big Baby love a tournament.
You're going to kill
all those assholes."
[laughing]
[sighs] See? Told you I was good.
Couldn't even see my lips move.
[Calypso] But what is a contest
without a prize?
If you win my tournament,
I will grant you
a single wish.
No matter how rare,
no matter how costly,
no matter the consequence,
your deepest, darkest heart's desire
will be yours.
At the end of my contest,
one wish will come true.
Will it be yours?
Will you drive?
[laughing]
♪♪
[Cop] The golden goose
has flown the coop.
I have eyes on John outside the walls.
Well, fucking shoot him!
- [Cop] Yes, ma'am.
- The ambulance won't get far.
Arming the missile now.
Ambulance? Hold your fire!
Fuck!
[beeping]
[whispering] Kelly?
Kelly.
You're okay. You're okay.
Motherfucker.
Just a setback.
We'll be together again soon, Kelly.
I promise.
We can't be taking this seriously.
Wishes? Really?
I talked to Calypso in Chicago.
He's real. He's for real.
So is my case of crabs,
but I'm not going to, like,
do anything about it.
This guy just turned on
all technology at once.
Are we forgetting that already?
Are we goldfish?
We have to enter this tournament.
If we win, we can wish
to bring down all the walls.
Not just for one city, all of them.
[Doll] Got a heavy mover out
of New San Francisco.
Could be medicine.
- Ladies, load up!
- [indistinct chatter]
Let's put a pin in this.
I feel a shopping spree coming on.
Now let's find some music.
[sirens wailing]
Oh, shit.
[gunfire]
Guess Raven got my message.
What the hell?
[cars banging] Goddammit. Come on.
This would definitely
be better with some music.
[DMX's "Ruff Ryder's Anthem"
playing faintly]
What the fuck?
Something new ♪
Stop drop shut 'em down open up shop ♪
[cheering]
Oh no ♪
That's how Ruff Ryders roll ♪
Stop drop shut 'em down
and open up shop ♪
[truck horn blaring]
Oh no ♪
That's how Ruff Ryders roll ♪
Snitches wanna try
snitches wanna lie ♪
Then snitches wonder why
snitches wanna die ♪
Oh, sh
Shit!
I resort to violence
my killers move in silence ♪
Like you don't know
what our style is ♪
New York is the wildest
my dawgs is with it ♪
You want it come and get it ♪
Took it then we split it ♪
Damn right we did it ♪
What the fuck you gonna do
when we run up on you ♪
Messin' with the wrong crew ♪
Don't know what we're going through ♪
I'm-a have to show
how easily we blow ♪
[engines revving]
When you find out there's some mo ♪
That's runnin' with yo' ♪
Damn it.
Nothin' we can't handle
break it up and dismantle ♪
[gunfire]
[tires squealing]
Stop drop shut 'em down
and open up shop ♪
Oh no ♪
That's how Ruff Ryders roll ♪
Stop drop shut 'em down
and open up shop ♪
Yeah, this boat's got
a fat ass, don't it?
[laughing]
That's how Ruff Ryders roll ♪
Is y'all people crazy
I'll bust you and be Swayze ♪
Stop actin' like a baby
mind your business lady ♪
Nosy people get it too ♪
That's my fucking car!
You know I'm tryin'
to get rid of you ♪
Yeah I know it's pitiful ♪
Stop ♪
Oh!
[groaning]
[tires squealing]
[panting] Oh, shit.
[gunshot] [yelps]
Goddammit!
John?
Quiet?
You shot me? Again?!
[groaning]
Is that you?
Lionel?
"Lionel"?
Who the hell is [grunts]
[giggling]
Ashley, what the fuck?!
♪♪
♪♪
[Alpha Raven] Hi, John.
I'm Raven, COO of New San Francisco.
I want to hire you to pick up a package,
bring it back.
If you go to New Chicago,
I will make you a citizen
of New San Francisco.
[grunts]
[John Doe] Okay. So since
you like to be quiet,
that's what I'm going
to call you. Quiet.
Is that okay, Quiet?
That ain't no birthday clown.
There's not a person on the West Coast
that hasn't heard of Sweet Tooth.
This is gonna be fun!
[grunting]
Any chance we eat this back in the cars?
[laughing]
Whoa!
[Tommy] The roads out east
aren't like the roads here.
[yelping]
There's chaos out there, John.
[Sweet Tooth] You know,
Stu, I got a feeling
you and I are kindred spirits.
- [yelling]
- [Stu] Mike!
- Well, you're fucking stupid!
- Well, so are you!
What do you want to name him?
[Quiet] Roadkill.
[Alpha Raven] Congratulations, John.
Welcome to New San Francisco.
She's not allowed to enter.
You're going to go in,
and you're going to be happy.
- Quiet
- [gunshot]
No. Quiet!
[Milkman] You're the one who's
been robbing milkmen.
[Quiet] The insiders have been
running this shit
for far too long.
It's time somebody shared the wealth.
[grunts]
I heard you know my brother.
You think a residential upgrade
is going to keep me here? Pass.
[Alpha Raven] This is where you grew up.
[John Doe] I found my home
out there with Quiet.
[Alpha Raven] There's
going to be a tournament.
You will drive, John Doe.
You're going to help me win.
[dramatic music]
[tires squealing]
[Kelly] Slow down, slow down!
Raven, you're crazy.
[laughing]
Holy shit.
Did Destiny just bone Josh and Bryce?
Destiny is such a hypocrite.
Raven, why are we going
to the douchiest graduation party ever?
What if we do literally anything else?
Or we let the fates decide.
Okay, that seems bad.
No, it means things are
going to get better.
In a few months,
we're going to UC Santa Cruz,
and we're going to leave
these losers behind.
Then it's just you and me, Kelly.
First,
we gotta take Destiny down a peg.
'Cause we clubbin' and we bustin' ♪
Yeah we gonna get it in
till the night fall ♪
If nothin' else lose yourself
get outta control ♪
A lotta crews in the news again ♪
You carpet munchers better
not be doing any witchcraft.
This is a house of the Lord.
Tarot is just for fun.
It might reveal something
you didn't expect.
Do us. Come on.
Maybe it'll reveal
why you're so hot, huh?
[laughing]
Oh ho, yo!
[Young Raven] The death card
means one phase is ending
as a new one begins.
We're graduating. Duh.
[snorts]
[straining]
- [gasps]
- [Levi] Whoa!
What the fuck?
You have new life
inside you.
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
- We only do anal.
Oh, sorry. What? What?
Everybody knows.
There might be deceit
in the relationship.
Is Destiny your destiny
or someone else's?
[Destiny] Enough!
This is nothing but a bunch
of unholy demon worship!
Wait.
Some people just can't
handle their dark magic.
[Destiny screaming]
Honey bear?
Honey bear, I'm coming.
Destiny! Oh
[giggling]
[screams] You okay? What is it?
[yelps]
[music playing]
Who did this?
Oh, god!
[Levi] Destiny! Destiny!
[whispering] Kelly?
Kelly, where are you?
[screaming]
[Calypso laughing]
[engines revving]
[tires squealing]
[Gorillaz' "Clint Eastwood" playing ]
Hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo ♪
I ain't happy I'm feeling glad ♪
I got sunshine in a bag ♪
Ah, shit!
I'm useless but not for long ♪
The future is coming on ♪
I'm happy I'm feeling glad ♪
[video game beeps]
I got sunshine in a bag ♪
I'm useless but not for long ♪
[bike chime rings]
The future is coming on ♪
It's coming on it's coming on ♪
It's coming on it's coming on ♪
Finally someone let me
out of my cage ♪
John Doe, pizza delivery man.
'Cause I'm counting no age ♪
Nah I couldn't be there
now you shouldn't be scared ♪
Hey!
And I'm under each snare intangible ♪
Bet you didn't think so
so I command you to ♪
Panoramic view look
I'll make it all manageable ♪
Pick and choose sit and lose ♪
All you different crews
chicks and dudes ♪
[laughing]
Who you think
is really kicking tunes ♪
You guys go ahead.
I'm gonna baptize this church over here.
Like you lit the fuse
you think it's fictional ♪
Mystical maybe spiritual hero ♪
Who appears in you
to clear your view ♪
When you're too crazy ♪
Lifeless to those ♪
Goddamn poles.
Oh, shit!
[grunts]
You like it gun smoking
righteous with one toke ♪
Get psychic among those
possess you with one dose ♪
I ain't happy I'm feeling glad ♪
I got sunshine in a bag ♪
I'm useless but nor for long ♪
The future is coming on ♪
[bike bell chimes]
John Doe, pizza delivery.
I got sunshine in a bag ♪
- [grunts]
- My eye!
See you in hell!
The future is coming on ♪
It's coming on it's coming on ♪
It's coming on it's coming on ♪
[Raven] Let's see.
Alpha Raven is stationed at Kelly's Bar.
Beta, I need you to lead
the community meeting
at Golden Gate Park. Keep them in line.
Gamma, put an end to the work
stoppage at the wharf.
Remind the port master
I'm happy to hold back
on his daughter's medication.
Gotta say,
I still like the first Raven
better than you.
Ugh, "Downtown" Raven?
Yeah, everyone loves her.
She did well, fit the look
the public tends to respond to.
For some reason, everyone fears
mommy in a pantsuit.
In my opinion, she got
too big for her blouse.
You know she's from Molesto?
I think you mean Modesto.
Clearly, you've never been there.
I gotta say,
I didn't like the way she handled you.
The tournament could be
announced any minute.
And instead of having
a leg up on training,
you've been running around
like a jackass.
And I get it.
That girl who shot you
in the chest was special.
I had someone special too.
We made dolls of our enemies together.
See, if I want you to feel joy,
you'll feel joy.
And if I want you to feel pain
[gasps] [groans]
Uh-oh, then I get to feel joy.
Try to escape all you want,
but you'll always be here in my grasp!
[groaning]
The only way you're
getting out of this city
is by driving my car.
You will help me bring back Kelly!
Who's Kelly?
[gasping] [Raven giggling]
You've been a bad boy, Jonathan.
That's not my name.
Starting today, you train,
you go home, you sleep.
That's it. You're grounded.
- Whatever.
- That means no more DVDs.
You can't do that.
You cause nothing but chaos!
Ugh. Get him home.
[John Doe] At least
let me take a shit first.
Dump away.
[door shuts]
[sighs] [chuckles]
[spurs jingling]
Arthritis acting up, old timer?
[gunshot] [body thuds]
If you horses can't work,
to the gluer you go.
Now move! We got orders.
[Man] They broke through the wall!
[gunfire]
[screaming]
[gunshots] [screaming]
Where's the medicine?
[yelps]
Don't make me ask again.
♪♪
Before the dance.
Dance? What dance?
Word on the coast is that you're making
pharmaceuticals for the insiders.
I'm here to fill my prescription.
That's old news.
They make all their meds in-house now.
Then what's all this?
Lube.
We struck a deal with
the Flagstaff sex colony.
- Arizona, huh?
- Gets real dry down there.
Almost as dry as his wife.
[jeering and laughing]
Do you think this is funny?
You and your little puppet whores
have been attacking my supply lines.
Insiders all over are
dying because of you.
[slow footsteps]
And outsiders are dying because of you.
We are just here to make things even.
What are you gonna do, Mace me?
No, I'm gonna watch you dance.
[screaming]
[laughing]
Can't find that shade of pink anywhere.
Ladies, time to accessorize!
Take everything. [cheering]
Hurry up! Get the shit!
[panting]
Help! You gotta help me.
This monster is after me.
He's terrifying. Please.
Who? Who is he?
My best friend.
[grunting]
[Raider] Hey, what's going on?
[Sweet Tooth] Yoo-hoo!
[groaning]
[giggling]
Pancake!
[grunting and coughing]
So how'd I do?
Eh.
Well, let's start with the positives.
Passion. I mean,
I can't even teach that.
But unfortunately,
you missed every major
organ on his body.
Oh, sorry. I-I panicked.
Yeah. Hey, listen.
When in doubt, go for the fruits,
grapes, apple, banana.
- Grapes, apple, banana.
- Grapes, apple, banana.
Got it.
Now, what do we do with you?
Hey, I could let you go.
We could have you go out
and tell the world
everything that happened here today.
Or I could carve a hole in your back
and puppet you around
like a wooden dummy.
- The first one!
- [coughing]
I am a huge gossip.
And I will tell everyone about Big Baby.
Big Baby? Who's Big Baby?
Isn't that you?
Does he look like a big baby?
Hey, hey, you're not helping, Stu.
Big Baby is the most infamous killer
in the whole country.
He slaughtered a whole town in one day.
No, no, no.
I'm the main event, right? I'm the star.
And I'm not going
to get upstaged by some
some child! [squelching]
Apple.
Now come on.
We got a baby to kill.
Apple.
Sorry about the TV, John.
Ugh. [chuckles]
You know there's beds upstairs, right?
You know, sleeping on
that couch every night
is B-A-D for your B-A-C-K.
I'm good down here. Thanks.
Okay, I'll leave you to it.
[door closes]
[John Doe] 3 to 6.2 to 4.
2 to 6.2 to 6? [scoffs]
There's nothing to do.
[sighs] Hmm.
[sighs]
♪♪
Goodbye, Dawn.
Oh, I'm so happy
you and Mary Anne made up
before you left for California.
Okay.
90?
Where the hell is 89?
[mumbling]
Abby?
Who the fuck is Abby?
You mean to tell me I missed
a whole new member being
inducted to the club?
Fuck! Shit!
89.89 has to be around here somewhere.
Shit.
Shake that thing Miss Kana Kana ♪
Shake that thing Miss Annabella ♪
Shake that thing yan Donna Donna ♪
Jodi and Rebecca ♪
Woman get busy
just shake that booty nonstop ♪
Anything you want to call it ♪
Oscillate your hips
and don't take pity ♪
Me wanna see ya get live ♪
Pon de rhythm when me ride ♪
And me lyrics
that provide electricity ♪
Gal nobody can tell you nothin' ♪
Til you're done with your destiny ♪
Yo sexy ladies wanna par with us ♪
In the car with us
and they ride with us ♪
Yeah, work that plantar fasciitis,
you little bitch.
I'm just about done with these tootsies.
Who wants next?
Dana, I know those puppies are barking.
- I'm busy, Jeremy.
- Yeah.
I love watching you throw your ax.
Every chop gives me chills.
I can show you how, if you want.
I'm a very good teacher.
The secret is in the grip.
Queens!
You have every reason to celebrate.
Those insiders are quaking
behind their walls.
[cheering] And for today,
we have Quiet to thank.
Shit, the raid was her idea. [cheering]
And from ideas we bring change.
Who disrupted the Milkmen
supply lines? You.
Who affected the bottom line
of the insiders? You.
And we are just getting started.
[cheering]
We got to go bigger.
We've got to go badder.
We've got to go bloodier.
We've got to destroy the one thing
standing in between
the insiders and outsiders.
The walls! [cheering]
Yeah! Yeah! Whoo!
We are going to bring down
the walls of a mega city.
They hold the best food,
the best supplies,
the most wealth.
It's time we get a piece.
And if they don't want to give it up,
fuck 'em! [cheering]
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
[John Doe] That's a weird place
to hang a poster.
There's my girls.
89, jackpot.
Oh, man!
[groans]
Hmm, well. [sniffs]
Here's to you, Ann M. Martin,
for welcoming a lonely Milkman
to the club.
Hmm.
[coughs]
Huh.
[coughs]
- [Child Dollface]
- Horses. Horses. I love horses.
I love horses!
I wonder if she liked horses.
- [Child Dollface]
- Names I'd give my horses.
Buttercup. Kit-Kat.
We drove up north
to Grandpop's cabin today.
Cabin.
- [Child Dollface]
- And we passed a Ferris wheel
and even drove through
a red covered bridge.
When we got there,
we saw something amazing.
Horses.
[groans]
I made a secret map
of the sewers for my brother.
He actually went down
the manhole and got pinkeye.
That's mean.
- [Child Dollface]
- If he ever read this, I'd die,
because I found his deepest,
darkest secret,
and it's on page 72,
Made you look, you dumb dookie face!
- [laughing]
- I'm not a dookie face!
[grunting]
♪♪
Cowabunga, motherfuckers.
John!
I got a hoagie for my bro-gie!
"Meet me in the bathroom."
In the bathroom?
[water running] John, you in here?
- Oh, sorry.
- Chester!
- Get your ass in here.
- John, uh,
look, you're a great friend, really,
but that is as far as this can go.
No. Look, I need to talk to you,
Raven could be listening.
She hears everything.
I'm the only one here.
What if we just talk
[whispering] Like this?
Chester, please.
You're the only one I can trust.
[sighs] Okay, fine.
What the hell are you doing?
Why are you getting naked?
- Oh, right.
- Yeah.
Yeah, stupid.
Scooch on in. whoa.
Uh
So why are you naked?
You expect me to take
a shower in my swim trunks?
- Don't be an idiot.
- Okay.
When I was a kid, my sister
drew me a map of the sewers.
So I could explore 'em
like a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.
This-this feels like a story
you could have told me
out of the shower.
No, no, no, no, no.
You know where the sewers lead?
To the bay, beyond the walls.
It's a way out, Chester. We can escape.
John, I'm not sure I want to escape.
- What?
- I've heard the stories.
It's like a ghetto out there.
I mean, there's a reason they put
all those criminals out of the city.
You know me. Am I a criminal?
No, no, it's not just that. I
- Hmm.
- Come on, what is it?
It's Raven.
She controls us, all of us.
She-she knows where to put the pressure
to use our weaknesses against us.
Chester.
Do you know what's outside those walls?
Freedom, right?
You can go anywhere you want
with whoever you want.
My family, we have a cabin.
A beautiful cabin
in the middle of nowhere.
Mm-hmm.
And when I find my girl,
I'm going to take her
to that cabin, Chester.
You can come with us.
But you gotta tell me right now
if you want to go.
Are you in, or are you out?
- [sputtering]
- Okay?
Are you in, or are you out?
You have to tell me right now, Chester.
- You have to tell me.
- Okay.
- Are you in?
- Okay.
- Are you in?
- I'm in.
- You're in?
- I'm in!
[laughing]
You're my man. We're family now.
- We're family.
- Yeah.
Okay.
Can you get my back?
[sewing machine whirring]
I'm almost done.
Have a seat.
Look, Dollface, about this plan.
I'm sorry. I can't concentrate
on anything you're saying.
Your brows are busted.
It's best if they're twins,
okay if they're cousins,
but those motherfuckers
don't even look related.
- About your plan.
- Mm-hmm.
We lost ammo and gas today.
We're going to lose a lot more than that
taking on a mega city.
I've really bonded with these girls,
Dana, even Ashley.
I don't want any of them to die.
You know what's dead?
Those cheeks.
So? I mean, I wear a mask half the time.
The mask doesn't hide our beauty.
It unites us.
When one Doll falls,
another picks up the mask.
Look up.
Do you know which direction up is?
Oh, yeah. Sorry.
I-I believe in the mission, too.
I mean, it's just I-I
I don't think your plan
is the way to fix things.
And what's your plan?
Ask nicely?
The insiders are living it up
while we're living in hell.
I mean, I can't even reunite
with my own brother
because he's behind
some concrete and rebar.
Not that he'd remember me anyway.
It's funny,
when I heard about
some motormouth Milkman
who drove across the country,
I knew it was my brother.
I just
I just felt it, you know?
When I went looking for him,
I found you instead.
And you,
you fit in real well.
I see big things for you, Quiet.
But now we're all going to a big party,
and we are gonna have a good time.
So you've got to decide
if you're coming with us or not.
Look at you,
all dolled up.
♪♪
[bag crinkling, munching]
Mama!
I'm thirsty for milk!
Mama can't nurse you right now!
She's making her water!
Sweetums?
We got stranger danger.
Oh, that's cute!
Big Baby's last steps.
What you got there, little guy?
Oh, you disturbed my feeding, you fuck!
Baby said a no-no word.
Ow!
[groaning]
[yelping] What are you doing?
What the fuck, lady?
- "What the fuck, lady?"
- [screaming]
Oh, Baby likes to miss.
[shouts] [groans]
Cootchie cootchie coo!
[both groaning]
Oh, my pelvic floor!
[growling]
- [screaming]
- My tubesy!
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
- What the fuck is that?!
I knew you'd find me and kill me,
Trash Man!
- [cleaver clangs]
- Wait, wait, wait. Wait.
Trash Man? Who-Who's Trash Man?
The biggest gun
this side of the Mississipp'.
[screaming]
[choking]
And stay down, you old hag!
What happened?
Apparently there's
some jackoff out there
called Trash Man
who's an even more famous killer
than the Big Baby.
Is Trash Man covered in trash?
- Or does he take out the trash?
- I don't know, man.
What I do know is that
I need to track him down,
and I need to kill him.
I swear, it is like
whack a mole out here.
What if we come up
with some kind of contest?
We get the best killers in the country,
and we have them face off against you
in a I don't know,
a battle royale tournament or something.
Then when you're the last survivor,
everyone will know
Sweet Tooth is the best.
Ooh, that legit sent
chills down my spine.
And I love it.
Great. Uh, how do we invite everybody?
We? No, no, no. You.
Stu, you're more of a logistics guy.
I'm the talent.
Hey, appreciate you organizing this,
'cause it's gonna be a bitch.
[church bells ringing]
[starts]
Good. You got my message.
Okay. John told me to meet him here.
He's going to escape through the sewers.
One of these.
[Raven] You've done well, Chester.
Ma, 'am. He's wearing John's clothes.
What?
He lent them to me, ma'am.
Mine were wet.
We took a shower.
Together.
♪♪
♪♪
Okay.
[beeping]
[buzzes]
Shit.
What was the name she said?
Chloe, Kristy.
No, shit, that's the Babysitters' Club.
Kelly, yes.
[beeping]
[chimes and clicks]
[chuckles]
No way.
Evelyn?
Oh, shit, you're not Evelyn,
but a little bit of work,
you'll be a bad bitch.
[muted beeping]
[doors creaking]
What the hell?
[beeping]
You must be Kelly.
[amplified, staticky laughter]
[static]
[opening tones]
Good evening, friends.
It's so nice to see all of you.
I am Calypso.
I've got a very special
announcement to make.
So let's get to the business at hand.
I'm hosting a tournament,
and I invite you,
the best drivers from all across
the Divided States of America
to compete.
Assassins, mercenaries,
vigilantes, joy riders,
all are welcome.
In one week's time,
the contest will begin.
The rules are simple.
Choose your vehicle
and show how good you are
by defeating everyone else.
The last one standing
will be crowned the victor.
What do you think?
I think this Calypso guy
beat you to market.
Anything to add, Big Baby?
[squelching]
"Big Baby love a tournament.
You're going to kill
all those assholes."
[laughing]
[sighs] See? Told you I was good.
Couldn't even see my lips move.
[Calypso] But what is a contest
without a prize?
If you win my tournament,
I will grant you
a single wish.
No matter how rare,
no matter how costly,
no matter the consequence,
your deepest, darkest heart's desire
will be yours.
At the end of my contest,
one wish will come true.
Will it be yours?
Will you drive?
[laughing]
♪♪
[Cop] The golden goose
has flown the coop.
I have eyes on John outside the walls.
Well, fucking shoot him!
- [Cop] Yes, ma'am.
- The ambulance won't get far.
Arming the missile now.
Ambulance? Hold your fire!
Fuck!
[beeping]
[whispering] Kelly?
Kelly.
You're okay. You're okay.
Motherfucker.
Just a setback.
We'll be together again soon, Kelly.
I promise.
We can't be taking this seriously.
Wishes? Really?
I talked to Calypso in Chicago.
He's real. He's for real.
So is my case of crabs,
but I'm not going to, like,
do anything about it.
This guy just turned on
all technology at once.
Are we forgetting that already?
Are we goldfish?
We have to enter this tournament.
If we win, we can wish
to bring down all the walls.
Not just for one city, all of them.
[Doll] Got a heavy mover out
of New San Francisco.
Could be medicine.
- Ladies, load up!
- [indistinct chatter]
Let's put a pin in this.
I feel a shopping spree coming on.
Now let's find some music.
[sirens wailing]
Oh, shit.
[gunfire]
Guess Raven got my message.
What the hell?
[cars banging] Goddammit. Come on.
This would definitely
be better with some music.
[DMX's "Ruff Ryder's Anthem"
playing faintly]
What the fuck?
Something new ♪
Stop drop shut 'em down open up shop ♪
[cheering]
Oh no ♪
That's how Ruff Ryders roll ♪
Stop drop shut 'em down
and open up shop ♪
[truck horn blaring]
Oh no ♪
That's how Ruff Ryders roll ♪
Snitches wanna try
snitches wanna lie ♪
Then snitches wonder why
snitches wanna die ♪
Oh, sh
Shit!
I resort to violence
my killers move in silence ♪
Like you don't know
what our style is ♪
New York is the wildest
my dawgs is with it ♪
You want it come and get it ♪
Took it then we split it ♪
Damn right we did it ♪
What the fuck you gonna do
when we run up on you ♪
Messin' with the wrong crew ♪
Don't know what we're going through ♪
I'm-a have to show
how easily we blow ♪
[engines revving]
When you find out there's some mo ♪
That's runnin' with yo' ♪
Damn it.
Nothin' we can't handle
break it up and dismantle ♪
[gunfire]
[tires squealing]
Stop drop shut 'em down
and open up shop ♪
Oh no ♪
That's how Ruff Ryders roll ♪
Stop drop shut 'em down
and open up shop ♪
Yeah, this boat's got
a fat ass, don't it?
[laughing]
That's how Ruff Ryders roll ♪
Is y'all people crazy
I'll bust you and be Swayze ♪
Stop actin' like a baby
mind your business lady ♪
Nosy people get it too ♪
That's my fucking car!
You know I'm tryin'
to get rid of you ♪
Yeah I know it's pitiful ♪
Stop ♪
Oh!
[groaning]
[tires squealing]
[panting] Oh, shit.
[gunshot] [yelps]
Goddammit!
John?
Quiet?
You shot me? Again?!
[groaning]
Is that you?
Lionel?
"Lionel"?
Who the hell is [grunts]
[giggling]
Ashley, what the fuck?!
♪♪
♪♪