Beef (2023) s02e02 Episode Script

1
[chewing, crunching]
- Are you sure you guys don't want some?
- [Lindsay] No, thank you, love.
I'm… intolerant.
Uh, my… my stepmom can't eat peanuts.
She actually almost died on a cruise.
It was… it was crazy.
That was crazy, yeah.
So what, uh, what's on your mind?
What can we do for you? What's up?
[whispers] You wanna go first?
[whispers] No, you go.
[softly] Okay. Um…
Well, as you guys know,
Ashley's been an asset
to the club's F&B department
for almost two years.
There's literally no reason
why I would know that.
We, um…
We're very thankful
for… for her contributions.
- [whispers] You wanna go?
- [whispers] You go.
[softly] Okay.
Well, uh,
given her valuable contributions,
we, um, couldn't help but wonder
if there aren't maybe other opportunities
that could better fit her, uh,
expertise.
[Josh] Well, given she never graduated,
I think she fits pretty perfectly
where she is.
Well, if I may say this, Josh,
it seems like
with all the changes at the club,
the new owner and what have you,
it would be very beneficial to everyone
for the status quo to be maintained
vis-à-vis what has transpired.
- Mm-hmm.
- [stirring music playing]
Well, I don't know
what you think transpired, Austin,
but this is… this is really not how
we do things around here.
[Lindsay] Yeah.
Look, if she's unsatisfied,
you know, we can ask around.
Maybe there'll be a motel in the area
that's willing to hire someone
without a high school diploma.
- Hey, that's uncalled-for, man.
- This whole meeting is uncalled-for, man.
Okay, I think it's time
for you guys to go.
This is really a human resources issue.
[Lindsay] You can tell your side,
and we'll tell ours.
[Josh] We'll tell our side.
And our side is that we were
at home having a heated discussion.
- [Lindsay] A debate.
- A lively debate amongst husband and wife…
- [Lindsay] In our home.
- …when we saw two employees trespassing.
[Lindsay] Sneaking around,
which is illegal.
- [Josh] If it's not, blackmailing is.
- [Lindsay] Yes, exactly.
[Josh] Lindsay, I'm sick of this shit.
Sorry, I'll turn it up.
- [Josh] Enough, fucking bitch!
- Don't touch me!
- Stop! Stop it!
- [Lindsay screams]
[Lindsay] Stay the fuck away from me!
- [Josh] Lindsay, I'm sick of this shit!
- [Lindsay] Let me go!
- [Josh] That's enough, fucking bitch!
- [Lindsay] Don't fucking touch me!
[Josh] Stop it!
- [Lindsay] Stay the fuck away from me!
- [Josh] Lindsay, I'm sick of this shit!
[Lindsay] Let me go!
- [Josh] Enough, fucking bitch!
- [Lindsay] Don't fucking touch me!
[stirring music intensifies]
So what do you want?
[theme music playing]
[bangs on dashboard]
[excitedly] Holy shit! [chuckles]
45K, ten days paid vacation,
and fucking health insurance.
We're set. We are set for life.
For sure.
Hey, when we get home,
can you help me find a good doctor?
I wonder if they can bundle something
with the cyst surgery.
Do I have any weird moles they can remove?
What's wrong?
Nothing. You got a big one
right by your scapula.
Um, are you feeling… guilty or something?
'Cause… we're not bad people. They are.
Yeah, totally. They suck.
Late-stage capitalism, just like you said.
I mean, we agreed to do this
for our future baby.
No, I know.
It just feels like
we left a lot on the table,
negotiation-wise.
- All we need is health insurance.
- Mm-hmm.
Anything more
and it sounds like blackmail.
I just wonder if maybe we could've gotten
something for me, too, you know?
Oh.
I'm just now realizing
that we didn't even think about that.
- Do you wanna go back?
- No, it's too late now.
[pensive music playing]
Fine. It's fine.
Just… it just felt weird, is all.
You know what feels weird is
this growing cyst inside me
that could become a medical emergency
at any given moment, but okay.
No, you're right.
You're right, you're right, you're right.
I'm sorry.
I can't imagine how scary that is.
Yeah, it's really scary.
[sighs]
Let's never fight like this again, okay?
Mm-hmm.
I love you.
I love you too.
[Lindsay] All employees must maintain
the highest standards of conduct
both during and outside of work hours.
Any behavior that may harm the company
may be grounds for termination.
Yeah, we really gotta update that.
Yeah.
The video looks so much worse
than what actually happened, right?
- I mean, it's like they zoomed in and…
- Yeah.
I mean,
the technology is just so fucked up.
You sure you wanna eat those?
God knows what they put in them.
I mean, what the fuck
is wrong with kids these days?
Entitlement.
If I had pulled this shit at Soho House,
Kevin Nader would've
cut my fucking bollocks off.
Kevin was a good boss.
Yeah, I've come to realize now
why he ran such a tight ship.
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ow. My QL's cramping up.
- Use the foam roller.
- Ow!
Ow!
Ow.
[sighs]
[groans in frustration]
[Josh grunts]
These fucking kids
don't know who they messed with.
We have so many more years' experience
being petty.
No, no, no. No, listen.
We're not gonna make it worse.
We're lucky all she wants
is health insurance.
When I was at Oliver Peoples,
I made everyone hate this one kid
until he quit.
He had no idea it was me. Mark Ritter.
What a cunt.
Stop. [exhales]
Stop. [exhales]
Promoting her is the only move. Done.
They're just gonna get away with it?
No consequences?
Linds, if that video got out,
I'd be fired in two seconds.
Josh, they are going to lord this over us
for the rest of our lives.
No one's lording, okay?
There's no lording.
I'm gonna promote her tomorrow.
She deletes the video. We move on.
Until they surprise us with a backup
the next time they want something.
I can only put out the present fire,
not the nonexistent one.
Or you could prevent the next fire
by chopping down
these two unbelievably shit trees.
What do you want me to do?
We can't fire her. We can't call the cops.
Uh… [scoffs]
[ethereal pensive music playing]
Uh…
All right. Crazy thought.
What if you quit?
- [sighs] Linds…
- No, I… I'm…
You know, hear me out. If…
[Josh sighs]
If you leave the club,
the video is of no use to them, right?
Okay. And then what?
Where… where am I gonna get a job?
How are we gonna pay for this place?
We'll sell it.
We can downsize.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Are you kidding me?
You would not be happy downsizing.
Look around. It's all upsize. All upsize.
I know it sounds mad,
but this could be a fresh start for us.
[Josh sighs]
We could take out a loan,
get credit cards.
We'd have time to actually enjoy things.
We could go to concerts.
You could play music again.
I don't know.
Maybe this is exactly what we needed
to get back on track.
Can you just consider it genuinely
for a moment?
I mean…
I'm… I'm gonna promote her tomorrow.
Okay? It's gonna be all right.
It's gonna be all right.
I let people win every day.
We'll manage it. It's… literally my job.
General… general manager.
[Josh groans]
Yeah.
- I'm sure you'll figure it out.
- [groans]
[music fades]
[indistinct chattering]
[chuckles softly]
[message sent tone]
[sighs]
[Josh] Come on, Deb.
I'm trying… I'm trying…
[Deb] I've never missed a day.
Did Lindsay say something
about the 30% discount?
- Because that was a good deal.
- No. No, Deb.
- No, I stand by that.
- Deb, you've been great.
You've been a wonderful member
of the team. This is Park.
- It's… it's purely fiscal.
- Fuck your fiscal, Josh!
[Josh] Okay, Deb. I know
that emotions are really high right now.
- You have every right to be angry.
- Sixteen years, Josh!
You have every right to be frustrated,
but try to take a breath for a second.
[Deb exclaims]
[Josh] It's a bad situation for all of us.
You've been a great member of the team…
[exhales]
[Deb] Fucking ridiculous.
[Josh] I know
I've put a lot on your plate.
And you've always delivered.
[Deb and Josh chatter indistinctly]
[exhales sharply]
[man] The new guy sucks, Josh.
Ashley always had
that yogurt honey bar I liked.
She had a great face too.
Yeah, we had to find somebody
to cover bev cart last minute.
But it's no excuse.
You're absolutely right.
All right.
Can you comp the drinks at least?
Let me take care of that. Call you back.
He's taking care of it.
Put the fear of God in him.
Hey, there she is.
Hi. [chuckles] Sorry, is now a good time?
Yeah, sure. No, I wanted to check in
with you right when you got in.
How we doing? Everything to your liking?
- Oh, yeah. Thanks.
- Good.
Please close the door and have a seat and…
- Have a little chit-chat.
- Um…
So…
So, uh, how do you wanna go about this?
Do you wanna delete the video now?
Or do you wanna wait
till you settle in more?
Uh…
Yeah, either way.
Um, I actually went ahead
and took on some of Deb's workload.
- Oh, you don't have to do that.
- No, no, I want to.
No, that's manager stuff, so it's okay.
Oh, but, um, I… I did it, so…
[chuckles] This one goes
with this one. Oh.
Wrong… Well, um, yeah. Just… yeah.
If you just give them the ol' autograph,
I'll mail them to finance to cut checks.
Yeah, awesome. Uh, FYI, though,
we can't pay M&L Pony Rides
'cause they don't exist anymore.
M died.
And we already paid them.
This invoice is old.
Sorry, I… I didn't see an updated one
in Deb's files, so…
Yeah, a lot of Deb's most up-to-date files
were in her head, unfortunately.
Yeah, a lot of these are filled out wrong.
I'll go through them.
No, I can do it.
There wasn't an orientation.
Hey, Ashley, you won. It's okay. You won.
You don't have to do any of this.
You just have to delete the video, okay?
Yeah, okay.
[intriguing music playing]
Um…
Here.
Delete. Done.
And the recently deleted?
Oh, yeah. Duh. Uh…
[sighs]
I assume you backed it up to the cloud,
but there's not much I can do about that.
Uh…
Well,
you could
walk me through everything and, like,
you know, get me familiar
with my responsibilities and whatnot.
Only if you have time.
Not trying to force you.
No, no, no.
We'll get a… an orientation on the books.
- Great.
- Okay.
Anything else you need?
Um… I don't think so.
- Okay.
- Oh!
Could I have one
of those real name thingies for my office?
Copy that.
Thanks.
[chuckles]
Hey.
You're a really good GM.
Oh, nice. Appreciate that.
See you.
[sighs] Oh my God. She's lording.
She's fucking lording.
[man] Here are three common mistakes
everyone makes with a glute bridge.
See how my knees
are rolling forward right now?
- Mm-hmm.
- Stack them above your ankles.
Boom. That is a glute exercise,
not a lower back one.
[phone chimes, buzzes]
[phone chimes, buzzes]
[phone chimes, buzzes]
I'm working right now.
[message sent tone]
[message received tone]
[potato chip crackling]
[message sent tone]
[phone ringing]
- You okay?
- [Ashley] Sorry. I know you're busy.
I, uh, was gonna go during lunch,
but I have an orientation now.
Damn, we're both so busy today.
Yeah. Can you please do this for me?
Our whole future's riding on this job.
Why are you so stressed?
We have the videos still.
I know, but I still have to do a good job.
If someone talks shit
and the owner fires me,
then I can't do my surgery,
and then I lose my health insurance,
and you can't get yours,
and then we can't pay our bills,
and then we're doing ASMR mukbangs
in my car for rent money,
so can you please go to H&M?
Hello? Did I lose you?
Sorry, reception's weird.
Yeah, I'll go to H&M.
Oh my gosh. Thank you, thank you.
- Hey, I love you.
- [disconnect tone]
[sighs]
[phone chimes, buzzes]
[breathes deeply]
[grunting]
[screams]
[woman 1] God, I'm gonna start crying
just talking about it,
but our silent auction raised
over $100,000 for Save the Frogs.
[woman 2] That's all thanks to you, Ava.
Oh, stop, it was a team effort.
Linds, could you check on the food?
[soft pop music playing in background]
- Could you check on the food?
- [server] Mm-hmm.
Oh my God, people went so crazy
bidding on that dinner with Woosh.
I mean, he's so fucking hot.
[Ava] I don't even like tennis,
and I'm taking lessons. [laughs]
I think he has a crush on me.
He sent me a little text.
I would never, of course.
Oh, sweetie, he texted all of us.
[woman 3] He's gonna send
a few more flirty texts,
then try to sell you skincare.
Yeah.
Right, I mean, that's why I didn't reply.
[woman 2] Ava, did you buy anything
from Woosh? Your skin looks amazing.
[Ava] Aw, thanks.
No, same old routine.
Just a little Aquaphor before bed.
[gasps] Linds, you should talk to Woosh
about the travel packages.
They're only 40K,
and Korean lasers knock,
like, ten years off your face.
Right, yeah.
Well, that's a good deal.
I should… I'll look into that.
[Ava] Before I forget, could you tell Josh
to book the conference room next week?
It is so hard to focus in here.
Do you know what, Ava?
We actually promoted someone
for this very reason.
Oh yeah?
Yeah. Her name's Ashley Miller.
- Let me give you her cell.
- [Intriguing music playing]
Any requests you have, grievances,
honestly, even just personal errands,
you can just reach out to her directly.
You can think of her
as a personal concierge.
That is such a great idea.
I know, right?
Right.
I'm gonna go and pinch a cig from someone,
but you all carry on.
[Ava] When did she start smoking?
[woman] There's gonna be a lot of people,
and the event's gonna come up fast.
You'll need to update accounts payable
and make sure
that quarterly projections track
with the allocation
of the Carnival feathers.
You following me so far?
Got it.
Now, the way that Deb and I liked
to work together for the last 16 years,
we would give our vendors
enough lead time,
given the supply-chain issues
that come with delivering
a luxurious evening of tropical dreams.
You understand?
Yes. Got it.
SCM-wise, are you the point for towels?
- I think so.
- You are not.
Towels are vendor-managed inventory.
[chuckles] I was gonna say.
- [phone chimes]
- Oh, I'm so sorry.
You know, Josh didn't give me
much of a heads-up about your promotion.
Yeah, no, it all happened so fast.
It's a big step up from beverage cart.
Uh, where'd you go to college?
Uh, actually, in… in lieu of college,
I decided to gain,
uh, managerial experience,
uh, in the food and beverage sector.
Oh, managerial.
Yeah, yeah, managing in the,
uh, the registorial capacity.
And where was that?
- Uh, I think… I think it was Albertson's.
- [phone buzzes]
Um… Oh, um, I have to take this.
Uh, it's… it's the city of Oxnard.
[phone buzzing]
[Josh] Oh God, Ashley's a fucking idiot.
This one's wrong too. They're all wrong.
[phone buzzing]
[sighs]
[phone ringing]
Monte Vista Point, Josh speaking.
[woman] Sorry to call you at work.
Your cell went to voicemail.
No worries. You okay?
I'm fine. Is now a good time?
Yeah, of course.
Uh, hey, I'm sorry
I didn't send any money this month.
It's just been really crazy
with the new owner and everything.
It's okay. We're doing fine.
Okay, are you sure?
'Cause I can send some now if it's urgent.
We're good. Funeral's paid off.
Chipping away at the hospital bill.
- Nice. Slowly but surely, right?
- [Weedwacker whirring]
Hey, so… some of your mail
got sent to Mom's.
Uh… Oh yeah?
That's, uh… that's weird.
Uh, yeah. They're from a debt collector.
Oh. Oh God, how… [sighs]
Sorry about that. That's, um…
I'm pretty sure I paid those off.
[scoffs] Uh, you haven't.
You should call them.
Okay, yeah. Wow, jeez.
Thanks for the heads-up, sis.
And you know, I checked
the joint account you had with Mom.
What? I…
I don't think that you… you can…
Uh, that's allowed?
How… how did you do that?
I just pretended I was Mom.
They haven't updated their records yet.
That's illegal, Sara.
I… I really need to close that account.
I couldn't help but notice the account
had a bunch of overdraft charges.
Yeah, you know, like I said, I… I…
It's really crazy over here,
and I can't stay on top of everything.
Josh, if you're hard up for money,
you don't need to send us anything.
I'm fine.
Sara, I can't believe
you lied to the bank.
I know you regret not being there
when she passed,
but sending money you don't have
isn't gonna change that.
Okay, you know what? Like I said…
[grunts] It's the last time
I'm gonna say this.
I had to work that night.
It is what it is.
I'm gonna send you money. Goodbye.
[dog toy squeaking]
[Lindsay] Good boy. Good boy.
Sit down. Burberry, sit. Sit.
- Off you go. Go find it.
- [phone chimes]
[pensive music playing]
Ugh, fucking Woosh.
[Burberry barks]
Good boy. Good boy, good boy.
Good boy. Drop it. Good boy.
[gasps] Oh, you're so cheeky.
Go find it.
[gasps] Good boy. Good boy.
Drop it. Drop it.
Good boy. Sit, sit.
Go find it.
Oh! Fast reply.
[phone camera clicks]
Okay, let's see here.
Let's smooth that out.
Toss on a filter.
[message sent tone]
[phone chimes, buzzes]
Burberry?
Burberry?
[dog toy squeaks]
Good boy. Good boy. Come here. Come here.
No more. No more. No more.
No. No.
Sit.
Good boy.
[message sent tone]
[Woosh] Maybe you could come by
and design my room sometime.
I moved in a week ago
and still haven't unpacked.
[Lindsay] So you just
left your entire life in Korea
because she asked you
to teach tennis here?
[Woosh] The chairwoman's always
helped me out since my parents passed,
and, you know, she accounts for,
like, 2% of Korean GDP.
Well,
she has appalling taste
in interior design.
[chuckles] God, you could say anything
in that accent, I'd still find it hot.
Oh, please. You have a line for everyone.
No, for real though.
The sun's a little hot today.
Here. Try this.
It's the best brand by far. Trochos.
Wow.
It feels so much cleaner. Is it Korean?
Yeah, Koreans are like that.
It's getting a little hot out.
- Can I get some on my back?
- Yeah, of course.
Sorry, my hands are a bit cold.
[chuckles] No, feels really good.
So does Trochos only make sunscreen?
No, they got everything.
Eye creams, masks.
I'll bring you some samples next time.
I know a guy. I can get you a good deal.
Now, if I wanted to see results, like,
right away, what would you recommend?
If you want immediate results,
you gotta go to Seoul.
Trochos has the best skin clinic,
and they have this VIP program
where they fly you first class,
car service, five-star hotels.
- It's crazy.
- Wow. How much is that?
Depends on what you want,
but at the friends-and-family rate,
with a little Woosh-and-Lindsay rate,
I'd say $40,000?
But, I mean, you know, it's me. [chuckles]
Couldn't you knock off, like, uh, 20%?
[inhales sharply] Oof.
Yeah, with the flights and the hotels,
think the best I could do is $39,500.
Um…
I really need this.
So could you just… help me out?
[Woosh inhales sharply]
I'm pulling a lot of strings for you.
Could always save up.
[pensive music playing]
Yeah.
Fine.
Sorry.
Start working on that overhead.
Does the chairwoman know?
Yeah, she knows. She gave me permission.
No, I mean, does she know
you've been making a lot of the women here
feel uncomfortable?
What are you talking about?
I think she'd be disappointed to hear
you've been sexually harassing members.
Whoa. Are you serious?
Frankly, you're making me
feel quite uncomfortable right now.
And the club takes
allegations like this very seriously.
[pensive music continues]
All right, guys, you gotta stack
your knees above your ankles.
This isn't a lower back exercise, okay?
It's all about your posterior chain.
- When I won the Butkus Award in 2015--
- [door opens]
- [Ashley] My God. I'm so glad to be home.
- Shit.
I had the busiest day today. Oh.
Sorry, were you recording something?
Yeah, I'm making
a series of how-to videos.
I'm starting with the glutes.
Then I'm gonna work my way up
the posterior chain.
Then I'm gonna head back down.
- Who's making you do this?
- No one.
I just realized
I got all this knowledge, you know?
From football,
when I won the Butkus Award in 2015--
Oh, like
all those trainer influencers you follow.
- You don't think it's a good idea?
- No, it is. I was just asking.
It's a great idea.
I'm gonna clean up.
- No, no, it's okay. Um…
- Yeah.
Did you pick up some clothes?
- Yeah, I got some good stuff.
- Oh.
I texted a bunch, but you didn't reply.
Oh, yeah, I'm sorry.
I… I had the craziest day today.
I… I was just, like, running around,
and people at work
actually need me, which is…
It's kinda cool,
but I have so much work to do.
Do you wanna do that in the bedroom?
I gotta keep on recording my videos.
Yeah, okay.
Uh, is everything okay though?
'Cause I… I don't know.
I feel like I'm picking up
a weird energy or something.
I'm fine. I… I think maybe
you just might be projecting.
Yeah, maybe.
Wait. Are… are these from Goodwill?
Yeah, I went to H&M,
but it didn't feel right leaving
the tags on and then returning, so…
Oh wow.
Nice, right?
[chuckles] So nice.
These are, like, timeless.
[melancholic pensive music playing]
Good job.
Thanks.
Uh, just gonna go try them on.
- Okay.
- [both laugh]
I got your back anytime.
Anything for my girl.
Aw, that's so sweet.
[sighs]
["Get Lucky" by Daft Punk playing]
[Josh] Only the best for my boys.
[man 1] What you got for us?
I got you the 20-year this time.
My guy, you know I'm happy for that Pappy.
It's a softer proof, more refined.
It's very hard to find these days.
Man, this new owner
better not replace you, bro.
What? What do you mean?
- Hey, Troy.
- Yeah?
Tell him what you heard.
I didn't really hear much.
It's not worth stressing out over.
Just tell me. I'm not stressed.
I won't… won't stress.
You know, I just heard
she might be interviewing some folks.
That's all.
Yeah, who? How… Like, how many?
[Troy laughs] I don't really know much.
Sorry, bro.
[Benny Blanco]
Oh, I got a capital-gains situation.
Hey, Troy, who's that tax guy you got?
I think I need a little help.
Yeah, I'll text you.
He helped Park buy this club.
- Saved her 20 mil.
- [Baron Davis] That's crazy.
[Benny Blanco] What did he do,
a 1031 or something?
[Troy] Uh, duh.
My guy's good.
He set up a buy-borrow-die for me.
[Benny Blanco] Yo, that's crazy.
I can't even believe this shit's legal.
[Baron Davis] Damn.
What asset did he make you buy?
Uh, I don't know, Monet, Manet.
- All I know is we making money.
- [bottle clatters]
- Oh shit.
- [Baron Davis] Party foul!
I saw that, Joshie. Now you gotta play.
Come on over here.
- Oh…
- [Benny Blanco] Come on, just a quick one.
Nah, I can't. I gotta go home.
Put your money in.
["Get Lucky" continues]
- I mean, if you guys like losing.
- [Baron Davis] Now we talking.
- [Troy] Shit, here we go. High card wins.
- [Baron Davis] Come on, Joshie.
- [Troy] Come on.
- [Baron Davis] Let's go, baby.
- All right.
- [Benny Blanco] Show us what you got.
- Hey, Josh, draw for me too.
- You got it, Michael.
And our cups to the stars… ♪
- [Baron Davis] Um…
- [Troy] Tough card to beat.
I'm up all night to get some… ♪
- Oh shit! King takes it.
- [Josh laughs]
Way to go, Michael.
[Baron Davis] Goddamn it, Phelps.
I hate you.
[Michael Phelps] I don't care, Baron.
Swear to God, Mike.
Do you ever lose at anything?
No, I don't do that. Thanks, Joshie.
[dreamy ethereal music playing]
- Yep.
- [Baron Davis] All right, do it again.
What's your Venmo?
@MichaelPhelps.
Oh, yep, there you are.
There's a 5K limit.
[Michael Phelps]
Back-to-back days is fine.
Yeah, smart.
[Josh] I know my post said $800,
but I am flexible,
so, you know, we can talk.
I got stuff from pretty much everybody
at every level.
Collegiate, pro, great guys.
So here we got the… AE 1s.
Signed by Ant.
[man] Ah.
And we got the, uh, Jordans here.
1990 Jordans.
And here we got the Tiger Woods clubs.
So, funny story about--
Are… are those the Beolab 18s?
Yeah.
[man] Huh.
[Josh] You, uh, you an audiophile?
[laughs] Yeah, a little bit.
Nice, man. Nice.
So, anyway, funny story about these.
Remember when Tiger went crazy at Augusta?
- Yeah.
- This is his 4-iron.
That's why it's a little… little crooked.
You know, these 18s
are going for, like, 10K on eBay.
- Is that right?
- Yeah.
I'll take 'em off your hands
right now for nine.
- They're, uh, they're not for sale.
- Huh.
But I will sell you
Tiger Woods's clubs for 10K.
- What about the Moog though?
- None of the music stuff's for sale.
Right. Huh.
You know the… the AE 1s,
they're gonna appreciate, by the way.
Anthony Edwards,
he's the future. [chuckles]
When you said Anthony Edwards, I…
I thought that was
the… the dude from ER. [chuckles]
Goose?
No, no. ER.
Yeah, no, I know. Goose from Top Gun.
- What does that have to do--
- I'm saying it's the same actor.
Huh. [chuckles]
Uh…
Thank you for your time.
You have a good day.
[uneasy ethereal music playing]
Uh, wait.
[sighs]
[indistinct chattering]
[exclaiming]
[Park in Korean]
My husband will really hate this.
- [in English] Remove this one as well.
- Yes. [chuckles]
You know, if the chairwoman needs help
with any of the equipment,
my fiancé's a trainer here.
[in Korean] She said if you happen to need help
with any of the equipment
her fiancé is a trainer here.
We don't need that.
[in English] She won't be needing that
at the moment.
[phone camera clicking]
He's… he's Korean.
Well, ha… half.
[Eunice translating in Korean]
[in Korean] Oh, your boyfriend is Korean?
It's nice you look out for him.
You know, as you get old, friends go away.
Parents die. Even children leave.
The only person by your side
is your spouse.
[in English] She says it's sweet of you
to think of your fiancé.
[in Korean] What my husband really needs
is a physical therapist.
[in English] What the chairwoman's husband
needs is a physical therapist.
[intriguing music playing]
It's funny she should mention that
because my fiancé's a physical therapist.
I thought he was a trainer.
Yeah, no, he is, part-time.
But, uh, yeah, we just never thought
to have a PT here before.
It's genius, really.
Most members are fifties, sixties.
They definitely keep Austin busy.
She's smart.
Your English, Chairwoman?!
Sh, don't tell. Only you know.
Oh. [chuckles]
Well, I'm so honored.
And I'd be happy to set up Austin as a PT,
if you wish.
Perhaps the chairwoman should try
a session with your fiancé first?
Yes, let me try first.
Absolutely. Yeah, I'll set that up.
I chose a husband 20 years younger
so I can die before him.
And now he has
more health problem than me.
[laughing]
[laughing]
Hmm.
I used to float ♪
Now I just fall down ♪
I used to know… ♪
- [Ashley] Hey, babe.
- [Austin] Oh, uh, hey.
- Shit, shit.
- [music stops]
I got, like, so many compliments
on my shirt today.
Like, I love it so much.
Oh, well, you look so good in it.
So
guess who's up
for a full-time position at the gym.
[groans] I don't wanna know.
Austin Davis.
- [refrigerator door opens]
- There's another Austin Davis?
- No. It's you, silly.
- What?
[glasses clink]
How'd you do that?
I didn't do anything.
[scoffs] Like, Chairwoman Park
just asked about you on her own.
She knew
all about your football background.
I think she saw one of your videos.
- Yeah?
- [Ashley chuckles]
It's kind of cool, right?
- I think we should celebrate or something.
- Yeah.
- Do you want a DiGiornos?
- For sure.
- Can you put, uh, uh, the triple meat in?
- Uh, yeah.
[both laugh]
[both sigh happily]
There's, like… one little thing though.
Um…
You have to be
a licensed physical therapist.
What? That's gonna take me,
like, five years.
No, no, it's not.
What are you talking about?
I don't have a license.
Look…
[pensive music playing]
…I just feel like we've been off lately.
Right?
No, I'm fine.
Are you okay?
[sighs]
Yeah, I… I guess
I've been feeling a bit off.
And I don't know.
I… I just feel like
it'd be really good for me and us
if we both worked at the club
and, you know, moved up together.
I mean, I guess if you think
that'll help you feel better, sure.
Yeah, I think it would.
Okay, then.
Hey, do you remember
when you lost your driver's license,
and you used your fake ID for a year,
and no one noticed?
- Yeah.
- So…
[chuckles]
[doctor in Korean] Let's do the Fraxel.
Also a brow lift.
And some filler.
Is that a wart?
Tell her I'll remove that for free.
[Woosh sighs]
[in English] So Dr. Kim is recommending
the Fraxel laser,
brow lift, and some filler.
The mole, he'll remove for free.
[in Korean] Canthoplasty and a bit of blepharoplasty-
I guess we can talk about that once she gets here.
I'm going into surgery now, so
Let me know when you've locked in a date.
[in English] Okay? Bye.
[in Korean] Say hello to my wife for me.
[Woosh speaking Korean]
[disconnect tone]
[in English]
And I'd get all of this for free?
[Woosh] Sure.
I guess, uh, that's the agreement.
[ethereal pensive music playing]
Do you know what?
I'm just gonna start with the laser.
I don't want to end up looking crazy.
[Woosh] Thank you.
I wouldn't have been able
to afford all that.
I think
this is gonna be really good for me.
- [sighs]
- [woman] I need you so bad, Ricky.
Oh yeah?
- No one can fuck me like you do.
- Yeah.
Please don't make me go that long
without you. Please, sir.
Oh fuck.
- No one gets me this dripping wet.
- [Josh] Oh yeah.
- I love your perfect cock. It fills me up.
- [Josh moaning]
[grunts]
- Did you come?
- [grunts]
- We still have nine more minutes--
- [slams keyboard]
[ethereal pensive music playing]
[Josh groans]
[sighs]
[man] I'm not trying to say
that all pornography is bad,
but there are good data
to support the idea
that if your brain learns to be aroused
by watching other people have sex,
it is not necessarily going to carry over…
What the fuck?
- [music intensifies]
- [panting]
What the fuck?
[animals howling]
I'd like to change my security questions.
Uh, the joint account for me and my mom.
Marta Lucretia Diaz.
- Yeah, I'll hold.
- [knocking at door]
[mysterious music playing]
Uh, come on in.
- Hey, boss.
- Hey.
Uh, just got a couple of things
for you to sign.
Yeah, cool. Whatever you need.
Um, also, Eunice asked me to leave
Austin's credentials with you,
assuming Park gives the green light,
of course, but…
All right. Here you go.
Yeah, perfect.
Hey, um, by the way,
I had a look at the invoices you gave me.
- I went over them, and they're all good.
- Great.
Yeah. If, uh, you wouldn't mind
just mailing them out… Is that all right?
- Yeah, no problem. Of course.
- Yeah? All right.
- Thanks for doing that.
- Oh. Yeah, uh…
[clears throat]
Uh, thank you for being you.
- Yeah.
- [laughs]
Hey, you know what?
I think that you're just about ready
to take on more of Deb's workload.
Oh. Wow.
Thank you. I… I really appreciate that.
Won't let you down.
- Keep crushing it.
- [laughs] Oh.
Hey, you're the MVP.
[laughs] Yeah.
[door opens]
[door closes]
[inhales sharply]
[exhales sharply]
[Ashley] It totally worked.
He didn't even look.
- I can't do this. I'm coming home.
- Babe, stop.
No, this is straight-up fraud.
The only person
who needs to approve the license is Josh,
and he already gave the thumbs-up.
If he ever becomes an issue,
we whip out the video, and he'll fold.
That stupid old fuck.
[breathes deeply]
Babe?
[music fades]
[distant melodic synth music playing]
Josh?
One sec. I'm locked in.
Did you take the day off?
They got my number if they need me.
What happened to all of your stuff?
I had to pay Michael Phelps.
Okay.
Um…
So
I think I'm gonna go
and visit my parents next month.
I scattered the mulch. Scattered it.
Yeah, I saw that.
Figured we'd grow
tomatoes, zucchinis, squash, whatever.
We'd turn the ADU into an artist retreat.
- Build a stage in the yard.
- [music builds]
And then we dance, baby.
You're sort of freaking me out now, okay?
Did you hear what I said?
[Josh imitates an explosion]
Hey, have you ever heard
of a buy-borrow-die loophole?
Um, are you okay?
It's this thing rich fucking assholes do
where they purchase an asset.
Let's say you buy a painting for $1,000,
and it appreciates to a million.
Well, when you sell it,
you gotta pay taxes, right?
You hate art.
No, I love art. I love art.
I love it. Monet, Manet.
I love it 'cause art can be collateral
to get a million dollars from the bank.
And while you swim in money,
that art appreciates 10 mil, 20 mil.
And when you die, you pass it to your kid,
and they sell it, and bam! Zero taxes!
- They pay no taxes.
- Oh my God.
Please, don't tell me you bought art.
Babe, everyone is scamming.
Everyone's scamming.
We have been grinding away here,
and for what?
Oh, I can smell it now.
You're high and drunk.
Yeah, I had a few puffs.
I'm the fucking GM.
Outgoing payments, I sign them.
- You see where I'm going, right?
- No.
- You see it?
- No, I don't.
[Burberry whines]
And you… you know
Burberry hates the smell of marijuana.
Linds, listen to me.
Listen to me, Lindsay.
I came up with a way
to skim thousands of dollars
from the club.
Wait, is this a joke? Are you serious?
I'm the most serious.
The only person other than me
that mails out the invoices
is now an underqualified,
entitled little Gen Z
with no attention to detail.
She's the perfect scapegoat.
This… this is how we get back on track.
We finish the bed and breakfast.
We focus on us.
God, you're so beautiful.
I miss you.
[dreamy ethereal music playing]
We can't just disappear, Lindsay.
We can't.
Let me explain it again, okay?
So you buy art--
[music swells]
[music stops abruptly]
Beautiful home.
Thank you. It's a rental.
Oh man.
Landlords, right?
- [Austin gulps]
- [Eunice] Hmm.
I'll go check on the chairwoman.
["Heads Will Roll"
by Yeah Yeah Yeahs playing]
[Park speaking Korean]
[Eunice in Korean] Chairwoman!
[Park] One moment -
Would you like me to reschedule
the session with Austin?
I'm on with my husband.
Eunice, could you try him out for me?
Yes, understood.
Okay, get your head on straight.
What the hell is going on?
Off with your head… ♪
[Park in Korean]
What did you mess up this time?
Dammit…
[flatline tone]
[Park in Korean] If you bought another Rolls-Royce
without telling me, I'm going to be really mad.
[exhales]
The patient is dead.
Off with your head ♪
Dance, dance till you're dead ♪
Heads will roll ♪
Heads will roll ♪
Heads will roll ♪
On the floor ♪
Off, off with your head ♪
Dance, dance till you're dead ♪
Heads will roll ♪
Heads will roll ♪
Heads will roll ♪
On the floor ♪
Looking glass ♪
Take the past ♪
Shut your eyes ♪
Mirror lies ♪
Looking glass ♪
Take the past ♪
Shut your eyes ♪
Mirror lies ♪
[music ends]