Happy Days (1974) s02e02 Episode Script
Richie's Car
1
Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪
Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
The weekend comes, my cycle hums ♪
Ready to race to you ♪
These days are ours ♪
Happy and free ♪Oh, happy days ♪
These days are ours ♪
Share them with me ♪Oh, baby ♪
Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪
There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪
It feels so right, it can't be wrong ♪
Rocking and rolling all week long ♪
Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪
Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
Saturday, what a day ♪
Groovin' all week with you ♪
These days our ours ♪
Share them with me ♪
Oh, happy days ♪
These days are ours ♪
Happy and free ♪Oh, baby ♪
Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪
There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪
It feels so right, it can't be wrong ♪
Rocking and rolling all week long ♪
These happy days are yours and mine ♪
These happy days are yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪
Oh
I really shouldn't kiss you.
I mean, it's our first date,
and I wouldn't want you to think
I was too easy or aggressive.
It's very important that you respect me.
Oh, I respect you.
I make it a rule never to kiss a boy on a first date.
Oh, well, I can understand that.
But, in your case, I can make an exception.
A passed ball is charged to Ray Cox
Excuse me.
And the winning run is on second base
with one man out.
Dad
Oh, Richard, you just take your time.
I'm listening to the last inning of the Braves game.
Dad, it's kind of tough being romantic
with you and the Milwaukee Braves just a few feet away.
I thought I was doing you a favor
by picking the two of you up.
Even if I couldn't borrow the car,
I'd at least like to be able to say good night to my date.
Oh. I get you.
Okay.
Look. I'll tell you what.
I'll just lean over to the other side of the car
and pretend like I'm looking for something
in the glove compartment. Okay?
Okay, Dad.
Oh, uh Richard?
I respect her, too.
Let's see. Wonder where my Phillips screwdriver is.
Um Ah! Yeah.
Street map of Milwaukee.
Last year's car registration.
Oh, not here! My father can see us.
Auto ignition key Oh, look out!
I saw it!
You know, this is kind of like trying to make out
on the 50-yard line of the Chicago Bears game.
Well, it's not my fault
your father had to pick us up from the dance.
You should get your own car.
Two sticks of chlorophyll gum.
Maybe we should just forget the whole thing.
Oh, no. No, hey! We can right here.
We're out of the way of the porch light here.
Green stamps This spot's okay?
Yeah.
Here's a snapshot of
And oh! Here's my pet elephant!
What's wrong?
Your father, he's so funny.
Oh, yeah. He's a regular laugh riot.
Well, tell you what.
I'll see you tomorrow at Arnold's. Okay?
Good night.
I had a wonderful time.
Thanks for respecting me.
What's the matter?
You didn't like the way I drove you home tonight?
Dad, don't you understand?
I'm like a social outcast without my own car.
Did you ever try walking your girl five miles to Arnold's?
Or or walking a girl into a drive-in?
People stare a lot!
And I'm tired of my father having to take me home
from dances all the time.
It's like double dating with my baby sitter.
I don't drive you home all the time.
Oh, sure, once in a while I can borrow the car,
or else I have to double date
with Ralph or Potsie or anybody else.
I'm not independent.
It's cramping my style.
I'm cramping his style, Marion.
Well, maybe Richard's right, dear.
We could use a second car.
There are just so many times
that I could use a lift somewhere.
Mom's right, you know.
You know, somehow I knew you'd agree with him.
All right, I'll tell you what I'll do.
Just to make sure that we get a decent second car,
I'll put up $200 toward it.
But it better not be anything like that heap
you and Potsie tried to fix up last year.
Oh, no, no. Dad, that's great! Thanks!
And you just remember that it is not your car.
It's a family car.
All right, Dad.
And listen. Anytime you want to borrow it,
just ask me for the keys.
Marion
Hey, Ralph, how'd you make out with Sherri Remi, huh?
Listen, I'm tired of telling you guys about my love life.
I only make out so I have something to tell you guys.
I start out by just kissing.
It was nice, but no, it bored you.
Then I started blowing in the ear.
I felt silly, but I learned to live with it.
And that bored you, too.
Next, I started getting hickies. Hickies hurt.
My life's a blur of flashing teeth.
All this just so I have something to talk about
in this stupid parking lot. I can't stand it!
No more ears, no more hickies, no more nothing.
I don't want to talk about it anymore!
I think he struck out with Sherri Remi.
Hey, you went out with Gloria last night, right?
Yeah. There's no sense asking him about it.
His father drove them home.
Yeah, and that's the last time that's going to happen.
I'm finally getting my own set of wheels.
I got three possibilities right here.
Hey, can I borrow it Saturday night?
I didn't even get it yet.
What kind are you getting, Rich?
Well, I'm not sure.
My dad's putting up $200 towards the car,
but it's kind of hard to find a good one
for that kind of money.
Yeah. FONZIE: Psst!
What's with the Fonz?
I don't know. I think he's got a bad cold.
Psst!
Cunningham, would you please get over here?
Let's go bug Marsha. Yeah, Ralph.
You wanted to talk to me, Fonzie?
Hey, don't you know that "Psst!"
is a cool way of callin' a guy?
No, I didn't know that.
Yeah, well, you know it now, huh?
Hey, listen, I hear you want to buy yourself a heap, huh?
Oh, yeah.
You got to have wheels
if you want to make out with the chicks.
Hey, what? Did I give up my love life when I bought my bike?
Oh, no, Fonzie, but uh but I'm not like you.
I got to have four wheels.
Yeah, at least four.
Hey, I won this tough set of wheels
at this drag race. I'll sell them to you.
Won it in a drag race?
Yeah, I raced this nerd for his, uh, car registration.
He burned out his motor.
Well, I don't think my Dad is too keen on burned-out motors.
He's kind of funny about things like that.
Cunningham, I replaced the motor.
It's got to be one of the sharpest heaps in town.
Well, I I don't think
he's interested in sharp heaps.
What he has in mind is kind of a a second family car.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
If the Fonz works on it, it is no second.
It is numero uno.
Now, this is a family car.
For a very, very cool family, of course.
I don't think my father would go for it.
Of course he would.
Cunningham, just look at that chrome.
This has got a lowered back, fuel injection. Huh?
A super blower, plus dual exhaust. Huh?
A very, very cool car indeed, Cunningham.
I want to tell you that James Dean's father
probably owned one just like this.
It's a terrific car, but, Fonzie,
my father's idea of being cool
is leaving the top button open on his sport shirt.
I don't think he'd care for a car called "Love Bandit".
Aren't you going to take water with those?
With aspirin? Huh!
Only a nerd takes water with aspirin.
Not the Fonz.
I mean, that's like eating
and waiting a half hour before you go swimming.
Cunningham, let me tell you,
owning this heap will probably
be your old man's dream come true.
Owning a DeSoto was his dream come true.
Well, let's let him decide.
We'll just drive it over there and show him.
Okay. The worst thing that can happen is he could say no.
Yeah. But in a minute.
I just got to get a little water.
It kind of flaked in my throat.
Must be defective aspirin.
Now, look, Fonzie, this is not something
that a grown man drives!
It's more like something that a a little kid pedals.
You see, we were thinking of
using it as a second family car.
If I wanted a car like this,
I would have bought a circus wagon.
I do not want this car, and that's final!
I see you're undecided.
I'll tell you what I'm going to do.
I'm going to let you talk about it among yourselves.
And I'm going to move way, way over here
so that I don't cause any undue influence.
You want to hold Gertrude?
Hey, I don't like to hold rats.
It's a hamster.
Yeah.
Nobody listens to me.
I am not going to drive around
in something named "Love Bandit".
I mean, who knows what went on in this car.
Dad, we could erase it.
Dad, you're never going to get
a car this good for the money.
Fonzie just put a new motor in, and he
he just got through fixing up the transmission.
The car's loaded with extras.
I don't need that kind of extras.
A rocket doesn't need that kind of extras.
We'll take them off.
The car has good pickup.
You'll get good mileage with it.
It runs like a clock.
Terrific! Then hang it on the wall,
but don't put it in the garage.
Well, maybe if it was a different color.
Like, say, blue.
Blue's your favorite color, Howard.
Yeah, Dad, a nice, dignified shade
of family blue.
I read that even Ozzie Nelson drives a blue car.
And you like Ozzie.
Well, maybe I could live with that.
But no shiny things, and no vroom!
Fonzie!
Dad said he'll get the car if you'll paint it blue.
For you, a mere 30 bucks extra.
All right, I'll get a check.
But a nice, respectable blue.
No flecks, no specks, and-and no funny names on it.
Fonzie, this is really terrific.
You know, it looks a lot better
than I thought it was going to,
without all the extras and everything.
Hey, in automotive circles,
I'm known as the Picasso with a spray gun, huh?
Uh, this your day off, Fonzie?
How about some work?
Oh, yeah. I love you, too, Happy.
I was just about to check this guy's oil pan. Okay?
If he wasn't such a genius with a monkey wrench
Hey, Happy, you got a minute?
Why? You want to tell me your life story, Marlow?
Look, I just want you to be on
the lookout for a hot car.
- I ain't seen it.
Besides, I'm on my lunch hour.
I don't talk business.
Come on. It's a '52 red Ford convertible,
license plate F-7193.
I ain't seen it.
I can't eat lunch.
I'm sorry.
Aw, come on. I'll get you a cup of coffee.
I make rotten coffee.
You're going to hate it.
Ba-Ba-Baby, Ba-Ba-Ba-Barbara Ann Fonzie!
You sold me a stolen car.
I didn't know it was stolen.
And if I knew it was hot,
I woulda given it to you for a lot less, believe me.
Oh, terrific. What am I gonna tell my father?
"Dad, remember that car that you lent me the money for?
Well, ha-ha it's a stolen car."
Cunningham, would you please come over here?
Look, first, I didn't know the heap was hot.
Second, don't worry. And, third,
I know how to handle these kind of things.
Yeah? What are you going to do about it?
I don't know.
Just give me a minute to think it out.
Fonz?
Why don't you just give me the money back?
Can't do it.
We could get arrested with this car, you know. Keep it down.
Look, I just used the money to pay off the rest of my bike.
Oh, Fonzie
Hey, you got something against my bike? No.
No, it's a great bike. It's cool.
It's not even stolen.
Tell you what,
I'll get in touch with the guy I won the car from
and see what we can work out.
Just don't sweat it.
All right.
Okay, I'll I'll leave everything to you.
If anything happens, I'll be at my house, okay?
All right.
Psst.
C'mere.
You forgot your car.
Oh, no.
No, you see I I could get in trouble.
I could get arrested for driving this car.
Well, you can't leave it here.
You see, my boss has this thing
about people leaving hot cars lying around.
Why don't you take it to your house, huh?
Because I don't live in a house.
I live in an apartment.
Well, just take it there.
My bike's already there. So?
So?! So?!
My-My living room ain't that big.
Haven't you got any place you can take it?
I got an idea. Good.
My sinuses must be clearing up. Oh
The car's already a different color, right? Right.
Okay
So I do a little work on the license plates
and no one'll ever know that you're driving a hot car.
That's no good. How do you know?
You haven't seen it yet.
Fonzie, what are you gonna do?
A little painting by the numbers.
Listen, Fonz, I got a terrific idea.
Why don't you and I just go to the police,
we'll tell 'em about the whole Are you crazy?
Do they ever believe kids, huh?
You want a JD card? No.
No. Then
drive it home, leave it in the garage
and wait till I get things under control, huh?
And please try to stay cool.
Boy, that's good, I'm telling him to stay cool.
Perfect.
What if it rains?
Cunningham, it'll be all right.
I didn't do it in water colors, you know.
No one will ever know.
I'll know.
Will you give your conscience a day off?
I know what I'm doing.
All right.
Okay.
I'll drive it home when it's dark
and my parents are asleep.
I mean what can happen between here and there?
Sure. The chances against you getting picked up are 2:1.
Right.
Hi, Richie.
Oh, hi, Gloria.
Is this your new car?
Yeah, this is it. You like it?
Ah, I love it!
Hey, let's take a drive.
Well, it's getting kinda late.
Uh what about your friends?
Oh, they'll understand.
Well, actually, see, I was
I was on my way home.
Well, it'd sorta be like our second date
and I kiss better on second dates.
Well, maybe a short drive. Hop in.
Okay.
Uh, why are we parked in your garage?
Oh, this is where I always park.
Well, wouldn't it be more romantic
up on Inspiration Point or somewhere?
Oh, well, I think it's very romantic here.
In your garage?
Well, yeah.
There are a lot of romantic things in this garage,
like, uh that ladder.
My parents used that ladder to elope.
That's a step ladder.
My mother lived in a trailer?
Hey, what about your parents now?
Oh, they're probably asleep.
Oh.
Well, don't they ever come out here?
No. They can always neck whenever they want.
Richie, I think you better take me home.
But we just got here.
I know.
But I feel kinda funny about kissing in a garage.
Okay, I'll take you home.
Aren't you gonna drive me home?
Well, you live so close
and it's such a great night for a walk.
Yeah.
Yeah, you're right.
So I think I will take one alone.
Good night, Richie Cunningham.
Weird.
Oh, we're taking Richie's car!
You're taking my car?!
Dad, Mom says I can take Charlie the sea serpent.
No, too big.
Well, I'll let his air out.
Then I only have to blow it up
again when we get to the beach,
and I'll be dizzy all day.
Dad! Dad, hold it! Hold it!
Well, Richard, you're still in your pajamas.
Go get your bathing suit on. I know.
Dad, we can't take this car.
Now, Richard, if you're afraid about the new paint job,
I'm sure it's dry.
No, no, it's not the paint job, but
well, I just used this car last night.
Does it need a rest?
Now, look, I thought
we decided that we'd be driving
my car during the week and yours on the weekend.
Besides, I loaned the Finleys my car for the day.
Nobody can drive my car.
Aw, come on now, Richard. I hope you got a good reason for
standing there in your pajamas talking like a crazy person.
Okay, I might as well tell you the truth.
Uh Morning, Officer.
Hello.
Morning, Mr. Cunningham.
Folks. HOWARD: What can I do for you?
Well, uh, it's about your car.
The car?
Yeah, the car.
Now, you know, I like you folks a lot,
but when the law has been broken my duty is clear.
All right.
All right, I confess.
But I didn't know it was stolen.
Stolen? What's stolen, dear?
Fonzie painted over the license plates and
and he said I shouldn't drive it,
but then Gloria said she kisses better on the second date
so I brought her here, and then she got mad
because she had to walk home,
but I hardly even used the car.
That's the truth, Officer, you gotta believe me!
He's spilling his guts about something.
What's he talking about?
I'm not too sure. I just stopped
because your other car
was blocking the driveway across the street.
Well, now I know what he's talking about.
Now, what are you talking about?
You're sitting in a stolen car.
Now, look, Officer,
if my son says that he didn't know
that the car was stolen,
then he didn't know it was stolen.
He's no liar.
He's an honor student.
What do you got to say for yourself, son?
I'm guilty.
You are?!
I knew the car was stolen, but I drove it anyway.
Only once for this date in my garage.
I bet that was a story in itself.
He's the one that's guilty. Arrest him.
Hey, uh, Mr. Cunningham, will you cool it?
I'm not guilty.
I just came down here to help out my good buddy Richie.
And this here is Rocky Baruffi
The guy I got the car from.
Well, then, he's guilty.
So let my son go and arrest Barunni.
No, no, no, that's Baruffi. With two "F's".
And he ain't guilty either.
Is there anyone here guilty, uh, except the honor student?
I'm willing to pay my debt to society.
Richard, you're not in debt.
Hey, I can straighten this whole thing out.
Couple of weeks ago,
I get myself into a drag race with Rocky Baruffi here.
We were racing for pink slips.
Titles.
Oh, I didn't think he meant underwear.
Ah, I like that.
I like a cop with a good sense of humor, huh?
Fonzie, please,
get to the part where Richie's innocent.
In time, huh? In time.
All right. On that particular evening,
Rocky Baruffi's engine blew out.
Pffsh!
And I win. As usual.
Congratulations. Thank you.
But Rocky Baruffi did not steal that car, no.
Rocky Baruffi bought that car.
Yes, he bought it Excuse me.
Uh, yeah.
From a man named Alfred Kremmel.
Now, the party of the first part
sold the wheels in question to Rocky Baruffi here,
party of the second part.
Then he reports it stolen to the insurance company,
party of the third part, to collect the loot.
Now, I conclude, Your Honorship,
that the car was never stolen,
these guys are innocent
and that Richie Cunningham is the real and legal owner
of that hot rod formerly known as "Love Bandit."
Thank you.
"Love Bandit"?
Yeah, that's a catchy name, huh?
Thanks, Fonzie.
Perry Mason would've been proud of you.
Oh yeah, thanks, Fonz. Hey.
Sure. My pleasure, huh?
I like to keep my reputation spotless, too, you know.
Rocky.
Uh hey, Cunningham,
that's a very cute, uh
shirt, you know, with horsies.
I had jammies like that when I was, uh
Dad, I'm sorry I didn't tell you
that the car was stolen.
Oh, that's all right, Richard.
I'm a lot happier that it wasn't stolen.
Listen, I've been thinking.
Considering everything that's happened,
why don't you go paint the car red again, huh?
Oh, thanks, Dad, that'll be terrific.
But no "Love Bandit."
Your mother may be driving it.
Yeah, there's your problem.
You had your horn wire connected to the radio.
All right.
Watch yourself.
You know, I should have figured.
Every time I honked the horn I got the Top 40.
You see that? That's not funny.
Making fun of your car's
like making fun of your little sister.
Fonzie, did your family ever have a second car?
Nope.
But we got four motorcycles.
Even got a sidecar for my grandma.
Ain't that cool?
Yeah. Yeah.
You know why I like owning my own car?
Thrill me.
Well, everybody knows it's Ralph Malph
when he's three blocks away.
Why?
Because they know his car.
Hemmy Wilson, he's easy to find
All you gotta do is look for the blue Chevy
with the moon disks.
But up until now,
if anybody ever wanted to find Richie Cunningham
they had to look for my father waiting outside
with the motor running.
But, Fonzie, from now on,
everybody's gonna know it's me
when they see this flashy red convertible.
Like I always say, huh
Rods make the world go 'round.
Yeah.
Hey, Ralph's here.
There's his yellow hot rod.
Freddie's here, too.
Look, his deuce coupe's double parked.
Oh, and there's the red convertible.
Rocky Baruffi must be here.
Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
Hey just give it time.
Saturday, what a day ♪
Rockin' all week with you ♪
This day is ours ♪
Won't you be mine? ♪
Oh, happy days ♪
This day is ours ♪
Oh, please be mine ♪
Oh, baby ♪
This day is ours ♪
These are such happy days. ♪
Hello, sunshine, good-bye, rain ♪
She's wearing my school ring on her chain ♪
She's my steady, I'm her man ♪
I'm gonna love her all I can ♪
This day is ours ♪
Won't you be mine? ♪
Oh, happy days ♪
This day is ours ♪
Oh, please be mine ♪
Oh, happy days ♪
These happy days are yours and mine ♪
These happy days are yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪
Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪
Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
The weekend comes, my cycle hums ♪
Ready to race to you ♪
These days are ours ♪
Happy and free ♪Oh, happy days ♪
These days are ours ♪
Share them with me ♪Oh, baby ♪
Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪
There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪
It feels so right, it can't be wrong ♪
Rocking and rolling all week long ♪
Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪
Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
Saturday, what a day ♪
Groovin' all week with you ♪
These days our ours ♪
Share them with me ♪
Oh, happy days ♪
These days are ours ♪
Happy and free ♪Oh, baby ♪
Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪
There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪
It feels so right, it can't be wrong ♪
Rocking and rolling all week long ♪
These happy days are yours and mine ♪
These happy days are yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪
Oh
I really shouldn't kiss you.
I mean, it's our first date,
and I wouldn't want you to think
I was too easy or aggressive.
It's very important that you respect me.
Oh, I respect you.
I make it a rule never to kiss a boy on a first date.
Oh, well, I can understand that.
But, in your case, I can make an exception.
A passed ball is charged to Ray Cox
Excuse me.
And the winning run is on second base
with one man out.
Dad
Oh, Richard, you just take your time.
I'm listening to the last inning of the Braves game.
Dad, it's kind of tough being romantic
with you and the Milwaukee Braves just a few feet away.
I thought I was doing you a favor
by picking the two of you up.
Even if I couldn't borrow the car,
I'd at least like to be able to say good night to my date.
Oh. I get you.
Okay.
Look. I'll tell you what.
I'll just lean over to the other side of the car
and pretend like I'm looking for something
in the glove compartment. Okay?
Okay, Dad.
Oh, uh Richard?
I respect her, too.
Let's see. Wonder where my Phillips screwdriver is.
Um Ah! Yeah.
Street map of Milwaukee.
Last year's car registration.
Oh, not here! My father can see us.
Auto ignition key Oh, look out!
I saw it!
You know, this is kind of like trying to make out
on the 50-yard line of the Chicago Bears game.
Well, it's not my fault
your father had to pick us up from the dance.
You should get your own car.
Two sticks of chlorophyll gum.
Maybe we should just forget the whole thing.
Oh, no. No, hey! We can right here.
We're out of the way of the porch light here.
Green stamps This spot's okay?
Yeah.
Here's a snapshot of
And oh! Here's my pet elephant!
What's wrong?
Your father, he's so funny.
Oh, yeah. He's a regular laugh riot.
Well, tell you what.
I'll see you tomorrow at Arnold's. Okay?
Good night.
I had a wonderful time.
Thanks for respecting me.
What's the matter?
You didn't like the way I drove you home tonight?
Dad, don't you understand?
I'm like a social outcast without my own car.
Did you ever try walking your girl five miles to Arnold's?
Or or walking a girl into a drive-in?
People stare a lot!
And I'm tired of my father having to take me home
from dances all the time.
It's like double dating with my baby sitter.
I don't drive you home all the time.
Oh, sure, once in a while I can borrow the car,
or else I have to double date
with Ralph or Potsie or anybody else.
I'm not independent.
It's cramping my style.
I'm cramping his style, Marion.
Well, maybe Richard's right, dear.
We could use a second car.
There are just so many times
that I could use a lift somewhere.
Mom's right, you know.
You know, somehow I knew you'd agree with him.
All right, I'll tell you what I'll do.
Just to make sure that we get a decent second car,
I'll put up $200 toward it.
But it better not be anything like that heap
you and Potsie tried to fix up last year.
Oh, no, no. Dad, that's great! Thanks!
And you just remember that it is not your car.
It's a family car.
All right, Dad.
And listen. Anytime you want to borrow it,
just ask me for the keys.
Marion
Hey, Ralph, how'd you make out with Sherri Remi, huh?
Listen, I'm tired of telling you guys about my love life.
I only make out so I have something to tell you guys.
I start out by just kissing.
It was nice, but no, it bored you.
Then I started blowing in the ear.
I felt silly, but I learned to live with it.
And that bored you, too.
Next, I started getting hickies. Hickies hurt.
My life's a blur of flashing teeth.
All this just so I have something to talk about
in this stupid parking lot. I can't stand it!
No more ears, no more hickies, no more nothing.
I don't want to talk about it anymore!
I think he struck out with Sherri Remi.
Hey, you went out with Gloria last night, right?
Yeah. There's no sense asking him about it.
His father drove them home.
Yeah, and that's the last time that's going to happen.
I'm finally getting my own set of wheels.
I got three possibilities right here.
Hey, can I borrow it Saturday night?
I didn't even get it yet.
What kind are you getting, Rich?
Well, I'm not sure.
My dad's putting up $200 towards the car,
but it's kind of hard to find a good one
for that kind of money.
Yeah. FONZIE: Psst!
What's with the Fonz?
I don't know. I think he's got a bad cold.
Psst!
Cunningham, would you please get over here?
Let's go bug Marsha. Yeah, Ralph.
You wanted to talk to me, Fonzie?
Hey, don't you know that "Psst!"
is a cool way of callin' a guy?
No, I didn't know that.
Yeah, well, you know it now, huh?
Hey, listen, I hear you want to buy yourself a heap, huh?
Oh, yeah.
You got to have wheels
if you want to make out with the chicks.
Hey, what? Did I give up my love life when I bought my bike?
Oh, no, Fonzie, but uh but I'm not like you.
I got to have four wheels.
Yeah, at least four.
Hey, I won this tough set of wheels
at this drag race. I'll sell them to you.
Won it in a drag race?
Yeah, I raced this nerd for his, uh, car registration.
He burned out his motor.
Well, I don't think my Dad is too keen on burned-out motors.
He's kind of funny about things like that.
Cunningham, I replaced the motor.
It's got to be one of the sharpest heaps in town.
Well, I I don't think
he's interested in sharp heaps.
What he has in mind is kind of a a second family car.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
If the Fonz works on it, it is no second.
It is numero uno.
Now, this is a family car.
For a very, very cool family, of course.
I don't think my father would go for it.
Of course he would.
Cunningham, just look at that chrome.
This has got a lowered back, fuel injection. Huh?
A super blower, plus dual exhaust. Huh?
A very, very cool car indeed, Cunningham.
I want to tell you that James Dean's father
probably owned one just like this.
It's a terrific car, but, Fonzie,
my father's idea of being cool
is leaving the top button open on his sport shirt.
I don't think he'd care for a car called "Love Bandit".
Aren't you going to take water with those?
With aspirin? Huh!
Only a nerd takes water with aspirin.
Not the Fonz.
I mean, that's like eating
and waiting a half hour before you go swimming.
Cunningham, let me tell you,
owning this heap will probably
be your old man's dream come true.
Owning a DeSoto was his dream come true.
Well, let's let him decide.
We'll just drive it over there and show him.
Okay. The worst thing that can happen is he could say no.
Yeah. But in a minute.
I just got to get a little water.
It kind of flaked in my throat.
Must be defective aspirin.
Now, look, Fonzie, this is not something
that a grown man drives!
It's more like something that a a little kid pedals.
You see, we were thinking of
using it as a second family car.
If I wanted a car like this,
I would have bought a circus wagon.
I do not want this car, and that's final!
I see you're undecided.
I'll tell you what I'm going to do.
I'm going to let you talk about it among yourselves.
And I'm going to move way, way over here
so that I don't cause any undue influence.
You want to hold Gertrude?
Hey, I don't like to hold rats.
It's a hamster.
Yeah.
Nobody listens to me.
I am not going to drive around
in something named "Love Bandit".
I mean, who knows what went on in this car.
Dad, we could erase it.
Dad, you're never going to get
a car this good for the money.
Fonzie just put a new motor in, and he
he just got through fixing up the transmission.
The car's loaded with extras.
I don't need that kind of extras.
A rocket doesn't need that kind of extras.
We'll take them off.
The car has good pickup.
You'll get good mileage with it.
It runs like a clock.
Terrific! Then hang it on the wall,
but don't put it in the garage.
Well, maybe if it was a different color.
Like, say, blue.
Blue's your favorite color, Howard.
Yeah, Dad, a nice, dignified shade
of family blue.
I read that even Ozzie Nelson drives a blue car.
And you like Ozzie.
Well, maybe I could live with that.
But no shiny things, and no vroom!
Fonzie!
Dad said he'll get the car if you'll paint it blue.
For you, a mere 30 bucks extra.
All right, I'll get a check.
But a nice, respectable blue.
No flecks, no specks, and-and no funny names on it.
Fonzie, this is really terrific.
You know, it looks a lot better
than I thought it was going to,
without all the extras and everything.
Hey, in automotive circles,
I'm known as the Picasso with a spray gun, huh?
Uh, this your day off, Fonzie?
How about some work?
Oh, yeah. I love you, too, Happy.
I was just about to check this guy's oil pan. Okay?
If he wasn't such a genius with a monkey wrench
Hey, Happy, you got a minute?
Why? You want to tell me your life story, Marlow?
Look, I just want you to be on
the lookout for a hot car.
- I ain't seen it.
Besides, I'm on my lunch hour.
I don't talk business.
Come on. It's a '52 red Ford convertible,
license plate F-7193.
I ain't seen it.
I can't eat lunch.
I'm sorry.
Aw, come on. I'll get you a cup of coffee.
I make rotten coffee.
You're going to hate it.
Ba-Ba-Baby, Ba-Ba-Ba-Barbara Ann Fonzie!
You sold me a stolen car.
I didn't know it was stolen.
And if I knew it was hot,
I woulda given it to you for a lot less, believe me.
Oh, terrific. What am I gonna tell my father?
"Dad, remember that car that you lent me the money for?
Well, ha-ha it's a stolen car."
Cunningham, would you please come over here?
Look, first, I didn't know the heap was hot.
Second, don't worry. And, third,
I know how to handle these kind of things.
Yeah? What are you going to do about it?
I don't know.
Just give me a minute to think it out.
Fonz?
Why don't you just give me the money back?
Can't do it.
We could get arrested with this car, you know. Keep it down.
Look, I just used the money to pay off the rest of my bike.
Oh, Fonzie
Hey, you got something against my bike? No.
No, it's a great bike. It's cool.
It's not even stolen.
Tell you what,
I'll get in touch with the guy I won the car from
and see what we can work out.
Just don't sweat it.
All right.
Okay, I'll I'll leave everything to you.
If anything happens, I'll be at my house, okay?
All right.
Psst.
C'mere.
You forgot your car.
Oh, no.
No, you see I I could get in trouble.
I could get arrested for driving this car.
Well, you can't leave it here.
You see, my boss has this thing
about people leaving hot cars lying around.
Why don't you take it to your house, huh?
Because I don't live in a house.
I live in an apartment.
Well, just take it there.
My bike's already there. So?
So?! So?!
My-My living room ain't that big.
Haven't you got any place you can take it?
I got an idea. Good.
My sinuses must be clearing up. Oh
The car's already a different color, right? Right.
Okay
So I do a little work on the license plates
and no one'll ever know that you're driving a hot car.
That's no good. How do you know?
You haven't seen it yet.
Fonzie, what are you gonna do?
A little painting by the numbers.
Listen, Fonz, I got a terrific idea.
Why don't you and I just go to the police,
we'll tell 'em about the whole Are you crazy?
Do they ever believe kids, huh?
You want a JD card? No.
No. Then
drive it home, leave it in the garage
and wait till I get things under control, huh?
And please try to stay cool.
Boy, that's good, I'm telling him to stay cool.
Perfect.
What if it rains?
Cunningham, it'll be all right.
I didn't do it in water colors, you know.
No one will ever know.
I'll know.
Will you give your conscience a day off?
I know what I'm doing.
All right.
Okay.
I'll drive it home when it's dark
and my parents are asleep.
I mean what can happen between here and there?
Sure. The chances against you getting picked up are 2:1.
Right.
Hi, Richie.
Oh, hi, Gloria.
Is this your new car?
Yeah, this is it. You like it?
Ah, I love it!
Hey, let's take a drive.
Well, it's getting kinda late.
Uh what about your friends?
Oh, they'll understand.
Well, actually, see, I was
I was on my way home.
Well, it'd sorta be like our second date
and I kiss better on second dates.
Well, maybe a short drive. Hop in.
Okay.
Uh, why are we parked in your garage?
Oh, this is where I always park.
Well, wouldn't it be more romantic
up on Inspiration Point or somewhere?
Oh, well, I think it's very romantic here.
In your garage?
Well, yeah.
There are a lot of romantic things in this garage,
like, uh that ladder.
My parents used that ladder to elope.
That's a step ladder.
My mother lived in a trailer?
Hey, what about your parents now?
Oh, they're probably asleep.
Oh.
Well, don't they ever come out here?
No. They can always neck whenever they want.
Richie, I think you better take me home.
But we just got here.
I know.
But I feel kinda funny about kissing in a garage.
Okay, I'll take you home.
Aren't you gonna drive me home?
Well, you live so close
and it's such a great night for a walk.
Yeah.
Yeah, you're right.
So I think I will take one alone.
Good night, Richie Cunningham.
Weird.
Oh, we're taking Richie's car!
You're taking my car?!
Dad, Mom says I can take Charlie the sea serpent.
No, too big.
Well, I'll let his air out.
Then I only have to blow it up
again when we get to the beach,
and I'll be dizzy all day.
Dad! Dad, hold it! Hold it!
Well, Richard, you're still in your pajamas.
Go get your bathing suit on. I know.
Dad, we can't take this car.
Now, Richard, if you're afraid about the new paint job,
I'm sure it's dry.
No, no, it's not the paint job, but
well, I just used this car last night.
Does it need a rest?
Now, look, I thought
we decided that we'd be driving
my car during the week and yours on the weekend.
Besides, I loaned the Finleys my car for the day.
Nobody can drive my car.
Aw, come on now, Richard. I hope you got a good reason for
standing there in your pajamas talking like a crazy person.
Okay, I might as well tell you the truth.
Uh Morning, Officer.
Hello.
Morning, Mr. Cunningham.
Folks. HOWARD: What can I do for you?
Well, uh, it's about your car.
The car?
Yeah, the car.
Now, you know, I like you folks a lot,
but when the law has been broken my duty is clear.
All right.
All right, I confess.
But I didn't know it was stolen.
Stolen? What's stolen, dear?
Fonzie painted over the license plates and
and he said I shouldn't drive it,
but then Gloria said she kisses better on the second date
so I brought her here, and then she got mad
because she had to walk home,
but I hardly even used the car.
That's the truth, Officer, you gotta believe me!
He's spilling his guts about something.
What's he talking about?
I'm not too sure. I just stopped
because your other car
was blocking the driveway across the street.
Well, now I know what he's talking about.
Now, what are you talking about?
You're sitting in a stolen car.
Now, look, Officer,
if my son says that he didn't know
that the car was stolen,
then he didn't know it was stolen.
He's no liar.
He's an honor student.
What do you got to say for yourself, son?
I'm guilty.
You are?!
I knew the car was stolen, but I drove it anyway.
Only once for this date in my garage.
I bet that was a story in itself.
He's the one that's guilty. Arrest him.
Hey, uh, Mr. Cunningham, will you cool it?
I'm not guilty.
I just came down here to help out my good buddy Richie.
And this here is Rocky Baruffi
The guy I got the car from.
Well, then, he's guilty.
So let my son go and arrest Barunni.
No, no, no, that's Baruffi. With two "F's".
And he ain't guilty either.
Is there anyone here guilty, uh, except the honor student?
I'm willing to pay my debt to society.
Richard, you're not in debt.
Hey, I can straighten this whole thing out.
Couple of weeks ago,
I get myself into a drag race with Rocky Baruffi here.
We were racing for pink slips.
Titles.
Oh, I didn't think he meant underwear.
Ah, I like that.
I like a cop with a good sense of humor, huh?
Fonzie, please,
get to the part where Richie's innocent.
In time, huh? In time.
All right. On that particular evening,
Rocky Baruffi's engine blew out.
Pffsh!
And I win. As usual.
Congratulations. Thank you.
But Rocky Baruffi did not steal that car, no.
Rocky Baruffi bought that car.
Yes, he bought it Excuse me.
Uh, yeah.
From a man named Alfred Kremmel.
Now, the party of the first part
sold the wheels in question to Rocky Baruffi here,
party of the second part.
Then he reports it stolen to the insurance company,
party of the third part, to collect the loot.
Now, I conclude, Your Honorship,
that the car was never stolen,
these guys are innocent
and that Richie Cunningham is the real and legal owner
of that hot rod formerly known as "Love Bandit."
Thank you.
"Love Bandit"?
Yeah, that's a catchy name, huh?
Thanks, Fonzie.
Perry Mason would've been proud of you.
Oh yeah, thanks, Fonz. Hey.
Sure. My pleasure, huh?
I like to keep my reputation spotless, too, you know.
Rocky.
Uh hey, Cunningham,
that's a very cute, uh
shirt, you know, with horsies.
I had jammies like that when I was, uh
Dad, I'm sorry I didn't tell you
that the car was stolen.
Oh, that's all right, Richard.
I'm a lot happier that it wasn't stolen.
Listen, I've been thinking.
Considering everything that's happened,
why don't you go paint the car red again, huh?
Oh, thanks, Dad, that'll be terrific.
But no "Love Bandit."
Your mother may be driving it.
Yeah, there's your problem.
You had your horn wire connected to the radio.
All right.
Watch yourself.
You know, I should have figured.
Every time I honked the horn I got the Top 40.
You see that? That's not funny.
Making fun of your car's
like making fun of your little sister.
Fonzie, did your family ever have a second car?
Nope.
But we got four motorcycles.
Even got a sidecar for my grandma.
Ain't that cool?
Yeah. Yeah.
You know why I like owning my own car?
Thrill me.
Well, everybody knows it's Ralph Malph
when he's three blocks away.
Why?
Because they know his car.
Hemmy Wilson, he's easy to find
All you gotta do is look for the blue Chevy
with the moon disks.
But up until now,
if anybody ever wanted to find Richie Cunningham
they had to look for my father waiting outside
with the motor running.
But, Fonzie, from now on,
everybody's gonna know it's me
when they see this flashy red convertible.
Like I always say, huh
Rods make the world go 'round.
Yeah.
Hey, Ralph's here.
There's his yellow hot rod.
Freddie's here, too.
Look, his deuce coupe's double parked.
Oh, and there's the red convertible.
Rocky Baruffi must be here.
Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
Hey just give it time.
Saturday, what a day ♪
Rockin' all week with you ♪
This day is ours ♪
Won't you be mine? ♪
Oh, happy days ♪
This day is ours ♪
Oh, please be mine ♪
Oh, baby ♪
This day is ours ♪
These are such happy days. ♪
Hello, sunshine, good-bye, rain ♪
She's wearing my school ring on her chain ♪
She's my steady, I'm her man ♪
I'm gonna love her all I can ♪
This day is ours ♪
Won't you be mine? ♪
Oh, happy days ♪
This day is ours ♪
Oh, please be mine ♪
Oh, happy days ♪
These happy days are yours and mine ♪
These happy days are yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪