How NOT to Summon a Demon Lord (2018) s02e02 Episode Script

[SHERA]
Wow! I can see it from here!
We're practically there, Rem!
Hey, you awake?
[SHERA gasps]
Gross!
[TAKUMA] Next time
we should tranquilize her
and put her in a carrier.
Uh, God? I mean, Sir Diablo.
It looks like
we've arrived safely.
Thank you for accompanying me.
[DIABLO]
Hmph. Please, do not mention it.
I make these journeys
all the time.
[TAKUMA]
Yeah right.
It took us two weeks
just to get here
because we got so stupidly lost.
[TAKUMA] Not to mention the
storms we weren't prepared for!
Whatever. I'm over it.
[TAKUMA]
There's Zircon Tower City. Neat.
[SHERA groans]
I'm wasting away!
We have to find food
before I starve to death!
[REM]
Grow up, please.
We're here to escort
Lumachina safely to Batutta.
And trust me, your body's
got plenty to gnaw on.
Wow!
Why're you so loud?
I'm right here.
Anyway, this place is dead.
[SHERA] Yeah, I don't
see many food options.
[MOTHER 2A]
Please! Somebody! Heal my child!
I can't believe this heat.
[HORN]
Hi! Are you an adventurer?
I might be.
Well then you, sir,
must be dying
to take on a brand new dungeon?
What do you think?
I wouldn't suggest going alone.
You'll need a dungeon
guide and lock picker.
I happen to be both!
My name's Horn!
'Kay. What kind of
dungeon is it?
The moment you arrive,
it's incredible!
There're lion statues
at the entrance,
and they attack you at the gate!
[DIABLO]
Are you serious?
[gasps]
Tell me something.
Does this dungeon
have 13 floors?
Oh, no idea, unfortunately.
No one's ever been able to
make it past the third floor.
The third floor, huh?
I'm pretty sure
that's the one where
you have to defeat
the colored slimes,
and once that's done,
the key to the fourth
floor will appear.
Is that true?
Because that would
explain why there were
so many slimes
hanging around there.
[TAKUMA]
I knew it! It is my dungeon!
Whoa. Hey, what's your name?
Me? I'm none other than--
[LUMACHINA] This is terrible!
I cannot stand by silently!
[TAKUMA] What is she doing?
Besides ruining everything?
You're blatantly ignoring this
poor woman asking for help!
Do you really not care
that her baby's been hurt?
And uh, who are you?
I'm begging, sir!
Please heal my child!
If you're trying to tell me that
you need the help of a priest,
I suggest you get in line
and pay the donation!
That guy's bad news!
He's with the Paladin Brigade!
Oh, good for him.
Question. What do you
mean by "Brigade"?
They're soldiers
of the Church who
work under that
Paladin's command.
Just stay out of their way.
They're violent.
[DIABLO] We came here
to seek Batutta's help.
His minions are of no concern.
It's written in
the holy scripture
that all who seek aid shall--
[PALADIN 2A]
Shut up! I can read, too!
That's not what I'm saying!
[TAKUMA]
Amazing how many want her dead.
All she wants to do
is help weak people.
How was I supposed to know
she'd be such a headache?
[LUMACHINA]
we can repent.
Fool! How dare you lecture me!
You should never talk down to
members of the Paladin Brigade!
[ALL gasp]
[DIABLO grunts]
[DIABLO]
Hmph. He was begging for it.
I'm impressed!
Yeah! Serves him right!
[DIABLO]
Hm? What's the matter?
Why does that infant
need healing?
Well. See. I found these marks.
[TAKUMA] I've seen those.
They're in the game, too.
Death Knell Disease!
[LUMACHINA]
What's that mean?
It's the name of an epidemic.
Once nine of these markings
appear, then, he'll pass away!
So how do we make him better?
We'd have to request
a miracle from a priest.
That's the only way I know.
Okay. Then let's go
to the church.
It's no use.
[HORN] You have to pay.
They call it a donation.
But even the minimum amount is
much too high
for many to afford.
Seriously?
How can they put a price on
this precious angel's life?
No clue. That's just
how it is here.
[gasps]
[CHILD 2A crying]
I'll be the one to cure him.
Huh? It's not something
anyone can do!
God will protect me
in this venture.
Isn't that right?
Uh
[TAKUMA]
I wish she would get over that.
I believe in your abilities.
Thank you, Sir. Let's start.
[LUMACHINA]
I need everyone's help.
We must all pray together.
O, heavens, we turn to you.
Please hear the voices
of your followers.
We ask for salvation.
[LUMACHINA]
Save this child from pain.
From this foul disease.
Please grant him mercy.
Forgive this child
for all his sins.
[LUMACHINA]
Forgive him. Grant him mercy.
Forgive him.
[LUMACHINA]
Grant him mercy. Forgive him.
[TAKUMA] The magical energy
in here is no joke.
[gasps]
[TAKUMA]
The marks are fading.
[ALL gasp]
Mama! Mama!
[MOTHER 2A]
My sweet boy!
What a perfect miracle you are!
Thanks. I'm so grateful to you!
I'm glad I could help!
He's so cute!
'Kay, fine. I'm impressed.
Yeah! Save the babies!
Amazing! I can't believe
I just watched you
heal that child with words!
It's almost like
you're God or something!
That kind of skill is expected.
What's the matter?
[SHERA]
Who's making the ground shake?
Fix it.
It's here! The monster!
Everyone take cover! Hurry!
It's a Sand Whale!
[ALL screaming]
So that's a Sand Whale?
[HORN] It looks like that boat
is attempting to escape
by directing the Sand Whale
back towards the city instead!
What a selfish blow hole.
Oh no! I'm frightened!
Rescue me!
It's gonna be rough if that
thing crashes into the city.
[REM] Are you dream journaling?
Or do you wanna do something?
[SHERA]
Diablo!
[TAKUMA]
They're killin' me.
Move out of the way!
This one's gonna hurt.
I'm not kidding.
[ALL gasp]
[HORN]
That's insane!
Can you not tell
how big that thing is?
[DIABLO] Nothing's too big
for the Demon Lord!
No monster! Watch me!
[TAKUMA]
Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
I've hardly ever used
this stupid magic!
Why can't I just pray and
chant like that church girl?
O shadows my friend,
born from night
darker than ebony.
Gather and form an arc!
Dark Arc Seek!
[DIABLO] O void that
swallows all of creation,
come forth to my hand!
Black Hole Arrow!
[TAKUMA] Oh man. That thing's
practically a mountain!
Is my magic even
gonna work on it?
I gotta stop putting
that negativity out!
I'm a Demon Lord. I am Diablo!
[DIABLO] I'm a Demon Lord
from another world!
Arrow of void, drive a
stake into the boundary
between Heaven and Earth!
Gravity Abyss!
[TAKUMA]
Yes! Nailed it!
[TAKUMA] What that heck?
Why's it acting like that?
[TAKUMA] There it is!
That's what I'm talkin' about!
We're about to get
blown off our feet!
Hey! Can someone
turn the magic down?
Is the monster gone yet?
[TAKUMA]
Why are you still standing?
I really hope this spell
lasts until it's gone.
Cause if not, I don't know if
I have anything else
that'll work.
[BATUTTA]
Seven Star Blast!
What the--?
That was a long-range attack,
but who did it?
[TAKUMA]
Now what?
Oh, come on! A frikkin Magi-Gun?
Someone's a Magi-Gunner?
How'd they reach such
a high level already?
[SAND WHALE 2A roars]
[sighs] Okay,
I think we're safe.
You did it, Diablo!
Yeah, good job.
No, really. I'm proud of you.
See, they're real tears.
Thank you! You are the best!
[TAKUMA]
Wha? All I heard was breast!
I don't get why she does this,
but I'm here for it!
No I'm not!
I'm a Demon Lord, dammit,
and this is below me!
The best!
Stop. Please keep those
things to yourself.
Wow. You saved us.
[BATUTTA]
There he is.
[BATUTTA]
Are you the one who fired that
magic spell at
the monster's snout?
[TAKUMA] This guy's
pretty strong. I can tell.
[PALADIN 2A]
Boss! That's him!
You're looking at the Demon guy
who defied the Church!
Huh. Hey. You know who this is?
Name's Batutta. He's known
as the Head Paladin.
[ALL gasp]
So that's Batutta then?
Things are not good right now.
[TAKUMA]
Of course he is.
I can't believe
I didn't think of that.
Why wouldn't the Head Paladin be
the boss of a herd of bandits?
Indeed, it was my magic.
And you, you're the one who
unleashed the Martial Art?
Indeed. That's what I call
my Seven Star Blast.
I see.
[TAKUMA]
That's a Level 130 Martial Art!
Tell me. What is
the Paladin Brigade
these people claim to belong to?
I never gave my permission
to form that sort of group!
Did the Cardinals allow it?
Or did you create it
without approval?
[BATUTTA]
So it's you.
Hey, lady! Watch your mouth!
Yo, boss. Let's show
these dopes how to act
in front of the
head Paladin. [chuckles]
[PALADINS gasp]
[BATUTTA] Forgive me,
I wasn't expecting you,
Head Priest Lumachina.
I've only met you
one other time in my life
when you were little.
But there's no doubt
in my mind it's you.
Do you mean that?
[BATUTTA]
I cannot apologize enough
for the disrespect
of my comrades.
What do you think--
do we like him or nah?
Yeah.
[TAKUMA] I guess we can
trust him for now.
[LAMINITUS] What an
interesting batch of beings
you've elected to
surround yourself with.
[TAKUMA]
Oh, no way!
That cape is Rare equipment.
Crimson Wings!
And is that a Magi-Gun
she's got over her shoulder?
So she's the one who
attacked us from the tower?
Laminitus! Don't you
insult this lady again!
If you choose not to heed
my warning, I'll have your head!
[LAMINITUS]
Heh. I'll show as much respect
as is shown toward me!
I am the lord who governs
Zircon Tower City, after all.
My name is Fanis Laminitus!
And you, sweetheart.
Am I right to assume
you're the Head Priest?
Yes. I am Lumachina Weselia.
It's nice to meet you.
Oh? So the swindlers
got a cutie-patootie
for their top boss, eh?
Swindlers? How so?
[LAMINITUS] Heh. A swindler
is someone who does nothing.
But demands a large
donation anyway.
How else are we gonna survive?
You closed our
church then charged
obscene taxes for everything!
We need donations!
Isn't your God
supposed to provide
bread and wine for you at least?
Really?
We don't have the powers of God,
we just believe in His word,
much of which is filled
with symbolism.
God will always provide.
Not always in ways we expect.
He serves those who trust Him.
Oh my. I didn't
expect a free sermon.
Well then, let's put what
I've learned to the test.
You wish upon a star.
And we'll see how
your God serves you!
You are such an insolent woman!
[TAKUMA]
They're so fast! Both of them!
And ridiculously strong!
Turns out none of you actually
believe in this
fairy tale either!
Otherwise you
wouldn't have moved!
If He was real,
you'd trust and believe
He'd come to her rescue!
That's mere sophistry!
Right. Sophistry.
Call it whatever you want, love.
Makes no difference to me.
My objective today is to find
the genius who used that spell.
[TAKUMA]
That's me! I'm the genius! Crap!
It was you!
He knows that, dummy.
[BATUTTA]
Heh. What a coincidence.
I came here to
find them as well.
But it looks like
they have already fled.
[TAKUMA]
My man!
[LAMINITUS]
Is that so?
It is!
But what use would you have
for that sorcerer anyway?
[LAMINITUS] Obviously I'd
want them to work for me.
And if they turned me down,
then I'd have to make them
regret their decision,
wouldn't I?
You certainly are
a piece of work.
I'll find the one with
that power eventually.
They may even be right
under my nose. [chuckles]
[TAKUMA]
She's talking about me!
That was so pointed! She knows!
Game over, man! Game over!
Miss Lumachina,
I am terribly sorry
for her crude behavior.
[DIABLO sighs]
The most annoying woman
in the world is after us.
[SHERA giggles]
Oh no!
Honestly, I couldn't
really understand
a word she was saying!
[TAKUMA] Optimism or stupidity?
It's a fine, fine line.
[BATUTTA] Miss Lumachina,
I imagine you must be
quite tired from your journey.
Please, come rest
and relax at my estate.
--Hey look! There's a line.
--What now?
What are they waiting for?
[REM]
Oh yeah, I see it.
That's a lot of people.
Is there food?
They're lined up at
the tents we had to use
for prayer, song, and worship
after Laminitus ordered
the church to close.
[LUMACHINA gasps]
[BATUTTA]
They've been there for days,
hoping to have the priests offer
prayers and receive a miracle.
[LUMACHINA]
That's terrible.
Even those little children?
[DIABLO] What about
that group over there?
Are those people
also waiting on prayers?
[BATUTTA] They are. But that's
the line reserved for
those who gave
large Church donations.
[LUMACHINA gasps]
How do the donations work?
Please don't misunderstand.
We're short on priests here,
so we aren't able to respond
to all who need prayers
as quickly as we'd like.
It's only natural to
prioritize the believers
who have provided
greater monetary gifts
and who also have
demonstrated greater need.
Whatever the reason,
there are so many people.
A bit too many.
[TAKUMA gasps]
Is that real, live curry?
And flippin rice?
[SHERA]
Yummy! This smells so good!
[BATUTTA]
Please, help yourselves
to whatever you'd like.
Miss Lumachina, if it's not up
to your standards, I understand.
Uh It looks delicious!
It even has a kick to it!
Yeah, it's gonna hurt later,
but so far, it's worth it.
[TAKUMA] These folks know how to
help a guy eat his feelings!
I never thought I'd see curry
ever again after coming here!
[DIABLO] Lumachina,
your right hand looks red.
What happened to it?
Oh, so it is.
I guess something
must've flown about
while you were fighting earlier
and I intercepted it.
Unfortunately,
the power of miracles
doesn't work on my own body.
Isn't that strange?
I can't hear you!
More food, please!
I'd love some more
as well, please.
Coming right up, dear guests.
[LUMACHINA] Excuse me, Batutta,
after we're done here,
would you mind coming
with me for a chat?
[TAKUMA sighs] I feel like
I ate a small moose.
Cool water feels nice,
but there are times
when a man just
wants a hot bath.
And this is definitely
one of those times.
[SHERA]
Hi! Can I come in?
I'm bathing. What's up?
[SHERA] Um. It's hard for me
to relax, new place, ya know?
[TAKUMA]
That's right. I forgot.
She gets lonely and
restless so easily.
Right. Do what you need to do.
[SHERA]
Thank you! By the way,
what did you think of
that curry we had tonight?
It was good, wasn't it?
[DIABLO] I thought so.
It was especially spicy--
[DIABLO] What's wrong with you?
What are you doing?
[SHERA] What do you mean?
I'm taking a bath with you.
And now you have someone
to wash your back.
[TAKUMA] This is not okay!
This is the worst idea ever!
She's already making me sweat
which is making me
sticky and gross!
And I don't even need to
finish that thought right now!
[SHERA hums]
[SHERA] I tried to find
a towel, but no luck.
Anyway. How's this?
Uh. Fine.
[TAKUMA]
It feels amazing!
I know! I bet it'll be faster
if we help each other get clean!
Huh?
[SHERA]
There!
[DIABLO gasps]
[TAKUMA]
What is that? No way!
They're on my back!
They're on my back!
If I sit real still
maybe they'll go away!
Your back's so stiff.
Must be stress. [gasps]
Whoa. Do you feel that?
It's kinda warm in here.
I'm getting dizzy.
[TAKUMA]
What kind of Demon Lord
gets in these
sorts of situations?
There's an elf in my bath
trying to scrub me with her yums
and it's just
making things worse!
But I can't make it stop!
Am I a Demon Lord or not?
'Kay! All done!
Now I'll wash your front!
[DIABLO gasps]
You're so strong!
You've got muscles
on your tumbo!
Um. I'm a level 150, so.
[SHERA]
Oh! I almost forgot this area!
[DIABLO gasps]
[SHERA]
What is this?
You never told me you
had a tail. Why hide it?
Uh, it's not a tail.
It's um, a horn.
[SHERA giggles] You can learn
so much about someone
by bathing together.
[DIABLO]
Uh, yes. Yes you can.
[TAKUMA]
These are the times.
The ones I wish
would last forever.
[knocking]
[LUMACHINA]
Please come in.
Evening. You said you
wished to speak to me?
Yes. I was hoping
you'd stop by.
[BATUTTA] I'm looking
forward to the moment
when you learn to
succumb to lust.
[DIABLO] It crushed
my heart? What is this?
[LUMACHINA] I refuse to
give in to any curse! Ever!