Nobody Wants This (2024) s02e02 Episode Script

1
["Good Luck, Babe!" plays]
I thought you were gonna get that job.
Well, I did too, Ruth. I did too.
But everything happens
for a reason, you know?
- Let's give him a shot.
- Hm.
If you see a stranger sitting next to you,
I ask you to turn to them.
Maybe it would expand
our connection with them.
When we don't feel fear,
when we don't feel judgment,
we simply feel love.
Like an angel through ♪
And that is pretty amazing.
I don't wanna call it off ♪
But you don't wanna call it love ♪
You only wanna be the one
that I call "baby" ♪
You can kiss a hundred boys in bars ♪
[man] I honestly never really
thought about life like this.
[Ruth] What that new rabbi said about
forgiveness was wonderful, you know?
And I looked at Lila Nover
in such a new light.
- Maybe she isn't a bitch after all.
- [chuckles]
- I'm glad you found the sermon moving.
- Ah, it was more than that. Hm.
It was transcendent.
I can take it from here.
Oh yeah? Okay.
Noah.
- [Noah] Hi.
- My darling.
All I can say is
I was not very impressed with that man.
And as far as I'm concerned, he is a thief
because he stole the job
that belongs to you.
And that sermon, it, like, spoke to me.
At least wait till I'm gone.
- [Bina] Lenny.
- Hi.
No, no, no. I mean, like You know,
it's easy for things to speak to me.
- Doesn't make it special.
- I was kidding.
It was great. I was there.
- See you at the game tomorrow.
- Darling.
Why did you write on the family chat
that you're not coming to Shabbat?
'Cause I'm not coming.
Is that a joke?
- I don't understand your sense of humor.
- It's not a joke, Mom.
You've made it very clear
that Joanne isn't invited,
so I will be spending Shabbat with her.
That's ridiculous. Shabbat is for family.
Bina Ylena Roklov.
Is your facialist family?
Bonnie came one time.
- Yeah.
- [Bina] One time.
Listen, Joanne is my girlfriend,
whom I love.
If she's not there, I'm not there.
I would've welcomed her with open arms
if she had not cost my son his career.
Oh, you liked her before?
- Yes.
- Oh.
But after the most recent events,
I cannot even fathom
being in the same room with her.
Okay. Thank you for not piling on.
I can always count on you.
Oh God, I'm telling you.
Give me this guy's full name
and birth date,
and I'll find something
good enough to ruin him.
- [Noah] No.
- Yeah.
Morgan, I know that comes from
a good place. Thank you, but just no.
If we can't investigate him,
and we can't go to his sermons
and boo him, what can we do?
Just change the subject.
- Okay.
- Why is he--
- So, Morgan
- Mmm.
You're coming to the basketball game
because it's "fun."
- Yes.
- Seems off.
Why is that so hard to believe?
I mean, you love basketball.
God, you're so cynical.
You should have used
a more believable excuse, Morgan,
like court-mandated community service.
Yeah. So what's the scheme?
I can appreciate a scheme.
What's the scheme?
[intriguing music plays]
So my therapist says
that every time I go on a date,
it's just a way of collecting data. Right?
So I went on a date with Lenny.
He wasn't into me, which is, like, insane.
No, that wasn't a date.
That was a setup in a group setting.
I am bummed you guys didn't hit it off.
Not good for my matchmaking résumé.
I'm gonna use Lenny
to collect data on me, okay?
So I'm gonna ask him
why he didn't like me.
Has he ever given you a gay vibe?
No, not at all, sorry.
Well Doesn't matter.
- Terrible idea.
- A little one?
[horn honks]
- [woman] Watch where you're going!
- Oh my God! What an asshole.
Oh my God, he could have killed them.
[Morgan] You know what?
We should go find him, okay?
- People need to know how awful they are.
- Oh, no, no, no. They know.
- No, Noah, they don't.
- Yeah.
Somebody needs to tell them.
It's our civic duty.
I mean, I consider it a higher calling.
Listen, sometimes something happens,
and you have to just observe it,
and then you accept it,
and you try and move on.
I'm sorry, that seems way less fun.
Yeah. Life is for the living.
Moving on. Come on.
[groans] God,
he's such a rabbi sometimes. Yuck.
New girl thinks
That you might be the one ♪
Okay.
You wanna invite people over
for Shabbat this week?
- Sure.
- Great.
You didn't go to your parents' last night.
You don't think
we should make an appearance?
Eh, I don't think now's the perfect time.
- Ah.
- Looks beautiful.
Your mom can't be taking
the job thing very well.
She isn't. You know,
you'd think it was happening to her.
Let me guess. She blames me?
- Doesn't matter.
- [sighs]
- I think I need to talk to her directly.
- Ah, no. No, no, no.
Listen, in this case, I think
a conversation would make things worse.
Just promise me you won't talk to her.
Okay.
- [Morgan] I gotta say
- Thank you.
farmers markets are annoying.
All this small talk
about how good the fruit is.
We're not farmers market people.
We're DoorDash people.
[upbeat music plays]
Do you have any butter? This is quite dry.
[music fades]
- Hey.
- Hi.
You look hot, by the way.
[scoffs] Thank you.
- Oh my God.
- What?
Oh my God.
What?
- You are horny right now.
- [chuckles]
- No.
- No?
- Truly not.
- You are.
I can feel it. What are you at right now?
I'm, like, at, like,
I wanna say, like, a zero?
You were an eight at Noah's
the other night. Wanna put on some music?
- Some soft, slow jazz?
- Oh! Now I'm at a negative four.
A negative four.
Yeah, it was the smooth
It was the smooth jazz.
Wow, that's a big drop.
Okay.
I'll just have to come back later.
[Joanne] I don't know
what to do with turnips.
What do you do?
- Oh, perfect.
- [Noah] Mm.
- That asshole even took up two spots.
- Oh God.
- He's not gonna get away with this.
- Do your thing.
- Mm-hmm.
- Hey, what are you doing?
[metal scrapes]
Ouch.
- What did you just do?
- Justice.
- [Joanne] Street justice.
- Street justice? That's not a
- What? That's not a thing.
- Yes, it is. You just witnessed it.
Have you ever done anything like that?
[scoffs]
- I We need to get out of here.
- [Noah] Street justice in Brentwood.
[funky music plays]
[Joanne] I feel like you're judging me.
Don't say you're not. [sighs]
- I am judging you.
- Mm. Okay.
[music fades]
Okay. Wait, ladies.
Come to the tree.
Mm. Mm, no, can't. Sorry.
What's happening? This is weird.
This is what we do before a game.
We take whatever's bothering us
or preoccupying us,
and we leave it at the tree.
- I just left my judginess at the tree.
- That works fast.
Would you like to leave anything?
I don't believe in suppressing things.
I believe in expressing them.
It's not suppressing. It's transferring.
It is also really healthy
to confront things head-on. You know?
Like, why don't you use
your anger and frustration?
Okay. Fine.
Look, I was letting you in on a tradition
that has won us many championships,
but, you know, feel free not to use it.
Just don't tell me how I have to use it.
[Noah sighs]
Okay, I will touch the tree.
- I'll see if anything transfers, okay?
- Yes.
That's gonna make you happy.
[Joanne exhales]
Tree just gave me an idea.
- [scoffs] Tree doesn't do that.
- It just did.
I won't confront your mom,
but at least let me write her an email.
- I famously write great emails.
- Okay.
If I can vet it.
If you wanna waste your time.
- Okay, I just have to fix this.
- [Morgan] Mm.
- Okay, let me think.
- I love it when you get into email mode.
- Please don't talk.
- Right, yeah. Sorry. You need laser focus.
[Joanne] Mm.
- It's not coming.
- Yeah, because you're really relaxed.
Your best work always happens
when you're really angry.
I just tried to explain that to Noah.
Mm. God, I still quote that email
you sent Rachel Cook.
"The truth is, Rachel,
he's never mentioned you at all."
- Chills. [chuckles]
- Hm.
I think it ruined her life.
- That email deserves to be in a museum.
- Mm.
Okay, what about this?
"Hey, Bina, it's Joanne."
"It has come to my attention
that you hold some opinions about--"
- [Esther] It's a terrible email.
- Oh my God. How does she hear everything?
Your approach is all wrong.
That's what it is.
You need to treat her like a mob boss.
You gotta shower her with compliments,
pay her the utmost respect.
- I don't know if I can do compliments.
- Let me take a crack at it. I speak Bina.
Okay, God.
- She is not your biggest fan right now.
- Yeah.
I thought it couldn't get worse.
- That's what's crazy. It did get worse.
- Can you just write the email?
[door opens]
Oh shit.
Oh, shit, oh, shit ♪
- Oh shit, oh shit ♪
- Are you ready for this? ♪
It's me, Fergie ♪
- What is she doing here?
- I don't know, but it can't be good.
Polow! ♪
- Fergie Ferg, what's up, baby? ♪
- Come on ♪
- When I come ♪
- Hi.
- I know that march.
She's here for you.
- How do you know?
- Instinct. I don't want any part of it.
- Hi, Mom.
- Hi, Sash.
[Noah] Hi!
What is going on?
My darling, I just wanted to spend time
with my sonny-son.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- At basketball?
- I'll take what I can get.
You're not coming to my house,
so I'm coming to you, wherever you are.
Is that a curse?
[chuckles] No, of course not!
Sounds like one.
[Bina] Have a good game.
[intriguing music plays]
- [whistle blows]
- Okay.
- I don't think she saw us.
- She definitely saw us.
But you didn't actually see her see us.
- Yeah, how do you know?
- She sees everything. She saw us.
Okay, whatever you do,
do not look over at her.
- Morgan!
- [Esther] Morgan.
What? It's your fault.
You knew if you said it, I would do it.
What's she doing now?
- [Morgan] Ooh. Oh no, no. She's coming.
- No. Here she is.
- Hello, girls.
- Hi!
[Bina] You enjoying the game?
- Yes.
- Yeah.
Joanne, may I have
a word with you, please?
- Me?
- Yeah, yeah. We need to catch up.
[Morgan] Hm.
- Yeah.
- Bye, Joanne.
- [Bina] Come.
- Have fun.
Better you than me.
[intriguing music plays]
- Call the police.
- [Morgan] I can't. My phone's dead.
[Esther] Mine's working.
I'm not gonna call.
Hello, Joanne.
- Hello, Bina.
- [music fades]
As it happens, I was just writing
an email to you, if I may.
[clears throat] "Dearest Bina,
I know you are a very strong woman,
and I admire that about you."
"Noah has told me
of your struggles and triumphs--"
Stop, please. I don't want to be read to.
I'm I'm not some five-year-old.
Okay. Well, I was gonna start
with something more cutting, anyway.
Let me get right to the point.
Because of you, my son's career is ruined.
Okay, we're getting right into it.
Because of you,
he now refuses to come to Shabbat dinner.
I never told him
he couldn't go to Shabbat dinner.
Well, apparently he won't go anywhere
where you are not included.
So you're admitting it,
that you're not "including" me.
I admit that you have cocooned my son
away from his family,
and you have done a number on him.
I may not be
what you envisioned for Noah--
Oh!
But mothers have been hating their son's
girlfriends since the beginning of time.
They usually keep it to themselves
or complain about it to their husbands.
So if something is getting in between
you and Noah, it's not me, it's you.
[intriguing music plays]
Me?
You can go back to your bleacher now.
Yeah, I know I can go back to my bleacher.
Juice, juice ♪
You got it ♪
Yeah, uh, you got the
You got the juice ♪
Let it rain on me like, ooh ♪
Baby gonna ride it like a cruise ♪
See you shine bright, no jewels ♪
[buzzer sounds]
It's all right.
I been underground making moves ♪
- Hey, loser.
- Oh, what's up, loser?
Is that a pet name? An inside joke?
I never agreed to him calling me a loser,
so you guys figure it out yourselves.
- I could call you a loser if you wanted.
- Mm, nope.
But that'd be weird, you loser.
Yeah, it doesn't work for me.
It's really more your guys' thing.
It's just the fact
that there ever even was a thing.
It makes me sad.
Hey, let's get out of here.
- It's the middle of the game.
- The game's not important.
- I wanna take you somewhere.
- Because you're 18 points behind?
No, no, don't look over there.
Just come with me.
Sorry, what do you want from me?
I'm just asking you
a simple question, okay?
Why didn't you want my phone number?
- Uh, I've just been busy with work lately.
- What?
I mean [scoffs]
And there's this ex
I've been texting with.
Oh my God,
will you just tell me the truth?
I'm asking you to, like, level with me.
Feedback is a gift, so lay it on.
Okay. I mean, you're obviously hot.
Thank you, I know.
- And I can tell you can be funny.
- [Morgan] Yeah.
I mean, not my sense of humor,
but I can tell girls really like it.
Cool.
It's just, um,
you're a little
severe?
[scoffs] "Severe"?
Okay. Okay, maybe I am.
So is that such a bad thing?
I mean, that's just, like, you know, edgy.
Yeah. Look, you're probably
one of those people who says
they wanna be in a relationship
when really they don't,
and, you know, to be with someone,
you have to make space for them,
and some people
don't have the ability to do that.
You got all this from one conversation
at a dinner party?
You didn't ask me one question.
Not even, like, what my name was.
Yeah, well, names are very personal, so
Yeah, no, totally. I just, like,
I think you're really nice.
- It's just not my vibe.
- Okay.
I kind of, like
I wanna be with, like, a real person.
Uh, okay.
Yeah, that's enough. Thank you.
- [Joanne] Never seen anything like it.
- What did I do?
You are boycotting Shabbat dinner
because of me,
but you didn't even tell me
so that I could give you the credit.
I honestly thought
it would make everything worse.
[sighs]
Did you make any progress
with that conversation?
I'm gonna be honest with you. I did not.
Okay.
Well
I just want you to get along.
In my perfect world,
we're all at Shabbat together.
[gentle music plays]
Me too.
Sorry, I smell so good.
Oh, uh, shoot.
[music fades]
[door locks]
I saw you.
[Morgan sighs] Yeah,
I know that you saw me. I just
So you can come out.
Okay.
You're not going to wash your hands?
Yeah, yeah, I was literally about to.
Okay, God. [scoffs]
[Morgan sniffs]
I can see you're upset.
No, I'm not upset, okay? I just
had something in my eye, so
- I can tell that you're upset.
- I'm not upset.
I am not upset.
Okay, I was upset.
What happened?
Wait. Sorry, why are you being
so nice to me? It's, like, scary.
Look.
I'm having a bad day.
So it's made me very open-hearted.
- Hm.
- Go figure. What happened?
It's I don't know.
Just something some guy said. It's
You know, Morgan, I don't like you.
But I respect you.
I'm sorry. Y-You respect me?
Yes. Well, a little.
I admire that you don't give a shit
about what other people think.
- Mm.
- Me, I care what people think.
Okay, well, don't tell Joanne this,
but I think you're very chic.
Thank you. I am.
Now, if you were hurt
by what that person said,
I doubt it is because
they think these things are true.
It is because
you think these things are true.
Wow, Bina, chills.
Thank you.
[exhales] You know
Joanne tried to end it with Noah
so that he could get that job.
What?
But he ran after her in
a very dramatic way and wouldn't let her,
so it's not her fault. [clears throat]
[gentle music plays]
Listen, um, if I'm being,
like, really honest,
I would love to have what they have.
So
God, you're so easy to open up to.
- Can I borrow your lip liner?
- No.
- That's fair.
- [Bina] Yeah.
Well, that's that. [clears throat] See ya.
[intriguing music plays]
[Esther] Okay, good call.
Yeah. Remember how much time
we used to spend here?
- Yeah, I do.
- [music fades]
Hey, uh, guys, do me a favor
and just give us some space here.
Just this table has, like,
sentimental value for us.
- We came here before we were together.
- We don't need to explain. Just beat it.
- All right.
- [Sasha] Please?
Honey, they're 15.
We were here first, loser.
You're a loser.
- You're a loser.
- [Sasha mutters]
- Okay, you're fighting with a teenager.
- Yeah, that guy's immature.
- Hey, you want a gummy?
- More than anything.
[chuckles]
They're not the kind that make you sleepy.
These ones make you happy.
Happy ones?
Marriage is hard.
Yeah.
So you like her now?
Yeah. I can't lie, I really do.
[scoffs] I have never hated you more
than I do in this moment.
What do you like about her?
I don't know. She's just so small
and, like, wise. Like, I don't know.
She actually seems really nice, so
- She and I just connect. You know?
- [sighs]
- Oh, but guess what?
- What, Morgan?
I told her that you walked away from Noah.
So she knows now.
- Oh my God.
- Mm.
I get to be the bigger person
and win the fight
because she had bad info on me?
You're welcome.
Oh wow. That makes me feel
so alive. [chuckles]
[upbeat music plays]
I actually kind of feel like
I could extend an olive branch now.
[man 1] Come on, come on, come on!
- Speed it up, speed it up!
- Oh.
[man 2] No, no, no.
Don't pick it up. Let's go.
Noah!
pushing me towards my limitations ♪
Okay.
And honestly, too much for me ♪
This ain't real love
And I'm crying out of disbelief ♪
I can't believe
You're out of your mind ♪
All the things you say ♪
Time-out! I need a time-out.
- Where are you going?
- [Noah] Be back!
I don't even know what to ♪
[Lenny] Number eight. Get in.
When you act out this way ♪
You're in a ♪
- [Bina] Where are you taking me?
- [Joanne] Have a bit of trust in me, okay?
[Noah] Oh, hey.
- Noah.
- [Noah] Hey.
Hey, gang.
- What's going on?
- I don't know. This woman is so erratic.
Now that some pertinent information
has come to light
that exonerates me, uh,
I'm ready to move on,
and I thought we could do
the ancient and beautiful Jewish tradition
of leaving it at the tree.
- So, Bina, if you wanna
- What is she talking about?
Jo, it's not a Jewish thing.
It's just a team tradition.
Shaq did it.
Hm.
Okay. Well, I mean,
it doesn't work anyway, so [scoffs]
Yes, it does.
- Does it?
- Yes.
For a guy who left it all at the tree,
you are not playing very well.
Well, the tree's not perfect. Sometimes
you still have stuff on your mind.
Yeah, so let it out.
[Noah] No.
I don't need to.
You sure?
Is it about Big Noah?
No.
- No?
- [Noah] Nope.
- [Joanne] Sure?
- [Noah] Yeah.
He's perfectly fine.
Hm.
It's not 'cause they call him Big Noah?
'Cause that would--
Okay, okay, fine! Yes. Yes.
I hate Big Noah, okay?
[scoffs] I fucking hate
that they call him Big Noah. What?
And I really hate
that his sermon was not only good
Shh, shh, shh, shh.
but it stayed with me.
[poignant music plays]
And I hate how jealous I've become.
You know, I worked
my entire life for that job,
and the fact that it's now his,
it literally makes me sick.
- [groans]
- [speaks Yiddish]
Oh, I'm sorry you had to hear that.
[music fades]
I'm so glad
you finally said that out loud.
- Yeah?
- [Joanne] Yeah.
[gentle music plays]
Am I a bad person?
No.
You're just a person.
Yeah?
Okay, I give up.
Joanne, why don't you
come to Shabbat dinner?
Really?
Yes. And now I'm going
before I change my mind.
Oh my God, it's the tree.
No, no.
That was all you.
God, it felt really good
to get all that out.
Didn't it?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Think anyone heard me?
- I actually have to
- It was good. Yeah, go. Go get 'em.
[music fades]
I hate it when you're mad at me.
I'm not even mad at you.
I'm If anything, I'm upset,
you know, about the distance between us.
Morgan was just a friend.
We were just friends.
And then we weren't.
You know?
We're still the same people
who fell in love at this table.
Yeah.
Hey.
We can do this.
I know we can.
Let's try.
[gentle music plays]
It's so much easier to have hope
when that gummy's about to kick in.
Yeah.
- Especially when you've had two.
- Okay.
Thank you for walking me to my car, Lenny.
Any time. You okay?
I'm great.
Hey, look at that.
Those two are really tied together, huh?
And I have scissors.
Are you ready for it? ♪
Baby, let the games begin ♪
Let the games begin
Let the games begin, ah, ah ♪
Baby, let the games begin
Let the games begin ♪
Let the games begin ♪
I, I, I see how this is gonna go ♪
Touch me and you'll never be alone ♪
I-Island breeze and lights down low ♪
No one has to know ♪
In the middle of the night
In my dreams ♪
My dreams ♪
- You should see the things we do ♪
- We do ♪
- Baby ♪
- Baby ♪
In the middle of the night
In my dreams ♪
My dreams ♪
I know I'm gonna be with you ♪
So I take my time ♪
- In the middle of the night ♪
- Baby, let the games begin ♪
Let the games begin
Let the games begin ♪
- Are you ready for it? ♪
- Baby, let the games begin ♪
Let the games begin
Let the games begin ♪
Are you ready for it? ♪
Baby, let the games begin
Let the games begin ♪
Are you ready for it? ♪