Platonic (2023) s02e02 Episode Script

1
Guys, can you help me put the boxes
in the minivan, please?
What's this for again?
This is for Katie's son's birthday party.
Frances, can you grab
the water bottles, please?
This is child labor.
Maeve, can you grab
the party bags, please?
Jessipa and I
are having a staring contest.
Can you guys keep it down? I'm busy.
I literally never ask you to do anything!
Guys! We talked about this. Let's go.
Thanks, sweetie.
But if it's "Events by Sylvia,"
why are we doing it?
Coyote!
Initiate freeze protocol.
Babe, we gotta call animal control.
I call and I call and they say it's not
their problem until there's a corpse.
What's a corpse?
It's a dead body.
One day you'll be a corpse.
- [whispers] Simon!
- Can we not?
But it's true.
[Simon sighs]
- Okay.
- Okay. Come on.
Okay.
Can Jessipa eat my hot dog?
No, no. Never give Jessipa a hot dog.
Too late.
["I Was Once a Glass of Tang" playing]
- [children clamoring]
- On your knees, bitch! [screaming]
- Hey. Here we go.
- [Katie] Ooh.
Oh! This is so disturbing.
- Why?
- Oh, we don't let Simon play with guns.
Ooh.
Thank you. Thank you. Now, do you need
anything else? I feel like we're all set.
- Mmm! Can I see the cake?
- Yeah.
- Oh, my God. It's so cute! Isn't it cute?
- [Sylvia] Mm-hmm.
It's… It's so cute.
- [Katie] Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
Okay. So what's next
with planning Will's wedding?
Well, just the boring stuff.
I mean, wine tasting, looking at venues.
But I don't know what's gonna happen now
I know Jenna low-key hates me.
I mean, can you blame her?
You and her fiancé literally disappeared
for half of her engagement party.
- Whose side are you on?
- Hers. I believe women.
Okay. It was Will's idea
to leave the party.
I kept trying to take him back there.
Oh. Oh, I didn't know that part.
Okay, then everything's okay.
Jenna and I,
we don't really know each other yet.
We just need to become friends,
and then Will and I can remain friends.
- It's very simple.
- Come on.
You are not gonna become real friends
with Jenna.
Okay. I know. But that doesn't mean
she can't be the kind of friend
that you intend to get a drink with
but never do.
Okay. That's smart. Aim low.
- Very low. Ow!
- Oh!
- Are you okay?
- I don't… N-No.
I don't know… That child is unhinged.
Whoever that is. What is his name?
Okay. Okay, calm down.
This is normal. Your son's just a dork.
Basically, Johnny 66 wants to open these,
like, gastropubs nationally.
And this is the first one.
It's really nice, right?
Do you guys have a name for it yet?
Yes. Corporate has settled, uh, on a name.
Uh, it is short for Johnny 66.
It is "Jay 6."
Hmm. It, uh, kinda reminds me
of something. [chuckles]
I can't imagine
what it reminds you of. [laughs]
It tested very well. Apparently,
it had a very sticky name.
- Mmm.
- I don't know about you guys,
- but it reminds me of January 6th.
- Yeah.
I was there but only
because I was visiting family in DC.
Next thing I know, there's a commotion,
I end up at the Capitol.
Beautiful building.
You should not tell people that story.
I took my shirt off.
Uh… Anyway, Will,
I'm so proud of you though, man.
I'm so proud of you! I mean, look at this.
You're, like, running this place.
You're like
a total corporate girlboss now.
Yes, I am. I really am. [chuckles]
I was so sick of your cool
Bon-Iver-artiste bullshit,
but you've really blossomed
into a beautiful capitalist piggy,
- and I love it.
- Thanks, dude.
I'm as surprised as anyone that
I like working for a big company. [laughs]
- Bro, Jenna's done good with you.
- Yes.
- You're a different dude.
- Thank you.
But has the dust settled
from the engagement party,
or is she still pissed at you and Sylvia?
No, she hasn't brought it up at all
actually. I think it's totally blown over.
Yeah. I mean,
that's exactly how women work.
They just let things blow over,
easy-breezy.
- They don't hold on to anything.
- No, that's crazy.
Sylvia and Jenna hate each other.
There's gonna be a catfight. [hisses]
Don't try to start shit
with this thing, okay? [chuckles]
Dude, Sylvia, like,
planned your engagement party,
and then she kidnapped you,
and you missed the whole thing.
You have to admit Sylvia
doesn't have the best track record
when it comes to you
and your significant others.
We are both equally responsible for
what happened at the engagement party.
Mmm. Would it have happened
with anybody else though?
Okay, yeah.
I-I've been really worried about Jenna and
Sylvia spending too much time together.
I know what you have to do, all right?
Do not let them speak to each other.
Do not let them around each other.
Unless… three-way.
Nice. Good advice. Thank you.
End all contact between Sylvia
and Jenna forever.
How the fuck do I… [stammers]
Sylvia's literally planning my wedding.
Oh, just be vague but positive. Like,
"Yeah, we'll 100% hang out in the future.
Let's figure it out."
Then never figure it out.
- You never figure it out.
- Right.
If you're in the market
for a new wedding planner, I am available.
If you're looking for someone
with a younger profile,
I recently took a MasterClass on
floral arrangement from Jennifer Garner.
Oh, I love Yes Day.
This fucking banner.
I told them not to hang this shit.
"The heart of an alehouse,
the soul of America"?
What the fuck does that even mean?
It sucks, right?
- Yeah, it's not great.
- I'm not a philosopher,
but I think the heart
of an alehouse is the ale.
Yo, you gotta run through
Lucky Penny sometime soon.
I've been running this illegal
high-stakes, late-night VIP poker game.
And guess what I'm calling it?
"Reggie's Game."
I can send you the password.
Is it "Vinny Chase"?
No. What the heck?
- It actually is. Holy shit. First guess.
- [Reggie] Who told you?
I really need you there though.
It's Friday at 9:30.
Yeah, I will 100% hang out
in the future with you.
- Oh, you're doing the thing!
- There you go!
- Yeah, it works. It's good.
- It works really well actually.
- I really thought you were coming.
- I know.
- Just like that.
- It feels right.
- Mmm.
- Mmm.
This one's nutty
and mossy and a little dirty.
Mmm? [laughs]
Should we wait for Jenna
before we make any decisions?
Oh, she can't make it.
Oh, why not? What happened?
She got stuck in San Diego.
She was so bummed too.
She-She's like, "Oh, Will, I wish
I could come. I just can't come."
Okay. And this has got nothing to do with
what happened at the engagement party?
Like, she seemed a little irritated when…
Oh, no, no, no. No. Totally fine.
Totally fine.
It's just hard for her to get down to LA
in the middle of the week, you know.
- Aw.
- CEO stuff.
I-I really wanna make an effort for her
and I to be friends, you know,
- outside of our friendship.
- Of course.
- It really means a lot to me.
- She would like that as well.
- I'll reach out to her.
- Oh, you don't have to do that.
Uh, you'll-you'll-you'll see each other…
You'll hang.
You know, she gets guilty when she has
to tell people she's too busy to hang out.
But you'll-you'll-you'll organically spend
plenty of time together
- in the very near future.
- Okay.
Yeah, she was so bummed
to be stuck in San Diego.
- Hmm. [groans]
- Yeah.
I love visiting Los Angeles!
So turns out Jenna is in town.
So much for being a busy CEO
with no time for Will's friends.
And why are you looking at her Instagram?
What is oyster shucking?
- Elliott.
- What is shucking?
- That's correct.
- 'Cause Will told me
that she was in San Diego.
He totally lied to me.
[sighs] Well, you know,
I'm sure it was just a last-minute thing.
No, no. This is absolutely not
a last-minute thing. Look.
- [Charlie] Uh-huh.
- They're just all hanging out.
- Who is Paula Abdul?
- Who is Paula Abdul?
Y-You know what? [stammers]
I don't even see why you care.
You don't want to go to Lucky Penny
anyway. What's the big deal?
I'll tell you what the big deal is.
If I can't be friends with Jenna,
then that means that I'm not going
to be able to hang out with Will.
That is not true. That's not gonna happen.
That's what happened
last time he was married.
I don't want to lose him again.
He's one of my oldest friends.
If I were to replace him now,
it would take 25 years
for me and this new friend to catch up
to where Will and I are.
And by then, I'm practically dead
and who cares?
Uh-huh. Who cares? Right.
Okay, please, babe. This is important.
As we get older, our old friends
become more and more important.
Okay. You know what?
I'm sure that Will is just torqued up
about getting engaged again, you know?
You know, you and Jenna
will become friends eventually.
Just give it time.
It'll happen, naturally.
…when I use this eight-letter
French synonym for "tushy."
[kisses] What is the derriere?
- What is derriere?
- Yeah.
- Yeah! [grunts]
- You're wrong.
Will and I always get screwy
when he's in a couple.
- Can you just tell me what to do?
- [sighs]
- Please, can you tell me what to do?
- Babe, here's what you need to do.
You need to do nothing.
He will come around.
- Give them some space.
- Okay. Okay, you're right.
I'll just… I'll just keep it cool.
Yes. Just keep it cool. Keep it cool.
If I could just, please…
Oh! There it is! Daily Double.
- [vocalizes]
- [Sylvia sighs]
Ooh, what should we wager, Jessipa?
[screams] What? Not in the bed.
- I told you, not in the bed.
- It's fine.
- She likes the warmth. It's fine.
- Absolutely not!
Whoa. Where'd she go?
Wait, where'd she go?
- [exclaims, screams]
- No, don't. Don't…
Jessipa, Jessipa, where did you go?
Jessipa? Jessipa? Jessipa? [clicks tongue]
- [screaming]
- Hey, hey! Just keep it calm. Keep…
Jessipa? [grunts]
Hey, Penguini. I just made some,
uh, dinner reservations for 7:30…
Sylvia? Hey.
What are you doing here? [chuckles]
Hey, William. How was work?
It was great. I was just over at Jay 6.
Things are progressing very nicely. Um…
What are you ladies up to?
We're great. We're just looking
at some rental options.
- Oh.
- Yeah. These books have all the inventory
and I just figured that it would be faster
if we flip through it together
- than via email, you know? [chuckles]
- Yeah.
There's so much gorgeous stuff in here.
Sylvia's gonna grab you tear sheets
of my top picks.
Cool. Sylvia, do you want me
to take you downstairs and help you
with the parking validation?
It's kinda tricky to figure it out.
No. Uh, we've still got a lot of stuff
to get through, so no.
- [phone buzzes]
- Oh, fudge, pardon me for a sec.
- I have to take this call. [chuckles]
- No problem.
[speaks French]
Ooh, la, la.
[whispering] What the fuck
are you doing here?
My job. Oh, did I not mention
that I was meeting up with Jenna?
Oh, ha ha ha.
That's very… This is some fucking
Fatal Attraction-type shit
that's going on right now.
Why are you trying to keep Jenna
and I apart?
Maybe because you interfere
in every relationship I've ever had.
- [thuds]
- What are you talking about?
I'm talking about how you can't help
yourself. You're like a mechanic.
You get under the hood and all
of a sudden, you find all these problems
- that weren't there before.
- What's going on? Is this the crush?
- Is that what's happening? Is it back?
- You're doing it right now.
This is what I'm talking about! Look.
I think everyone would agree
that everyone's lives
would be infinitely easier
if you two just never had any contact
ever again for the rest of your lives.
That is the stupidest thing
I have ever heard.
I can't be friends with you
and have no contact with your wife.
Why? It seems pretty clear-cut
and simple if you ask me.
Do I have to explain this to you?
You saw how she reacted at the party.
It clearly bugged her
that we were out together.
It didn't bug her.
She hasn't brought it up since then.
- She hasn't even thought about it.
- Oh, my God!
As a woman, I can tell you
she's still bugged about it.
- Don't woman-splain to me.
- I will woman-splain to you all day!
You shouldn't be "splaining" nothing
to nobody.
If you don't let Jenna and I hang out,
you know what's gonna happen?
She's gonna think you're hiding something,
she's gonna hate me,
and you and I won't be friends again.
Don't you think you're being
a little dramatic about this?
I don't think so.
You're about to get married again.
If we wanna stay friends this time,
then we're gonna have to do
normal, adult stuff
like couples dinners and shit like that.
Fine. You wanna do
a motherfucking couples dinner?
- Let's do a motherfucking couples dinner.
- I can't fucking wait. Tomorrow night.
- Let's do a motherfucking couples dinner.
- Oh, I'm fucking in.
Great. 7:00 p.m. My place.
Great. 7:00 p.m., your place.
Couples dinner's fucking on.
Awesome. She got any dietary restrictions?
She says she's allergic to gluten.
But she's not.
- What am I supposed to do with that?
- Same thing I do with it, nothing.
- Awesome.
- You fucking accept it.
- Wow.
- Hey!
- Hi!
- Bonjour. How was the call?
[sighs, speaks French, laughs]
[laughs] Good. Well, Penguini, we're gonna
have a couples dinner with them tomorrow.
I love a couples dinner.
Who doesn't?
Oh, I'm gluten-free.
Perfect. Just the four of us.
- Yep. Can't wait.
- Perfect.
Wow. This is… This is a lot.
Well, I want it to be special.
It's our first couples dinner with them,
and Will doesn't think it's gonna work.
I want to show him that we can have
a great time, the four of us,
and that Will doesn't know
what he's talking about.
Well, I'm glad you took my advice
about keeping things chill.
Okay. Just have a canapé
and let me do my thing, okay?
Okay. [clears throat]
[doorbell rings]
Ooh! Okay. [exhales deeply]
You're bringing those to the door?
- Hey!
- Hi. [chuckles]
- Hey! How are you?
- Hi. Welcome. How are you?
- Oh, hi.
- Hi. Good to see you. Oh!
- There you go. [chuckles]
- Look at that. [chuckles]
- Thank you. Look at that. Thank you.
- No problem.
- Thanks for having us. [chuckles]
- Of course.
- We're so glad we can finally do this.
- I know!
How have we never done this before?
Well, you know,
we live in a whole other city.
Also, she works all the time.
You work pretty crazy hours
yourself, William.
- I do.
- Uh, Charlie actually works a lot.
- He's a lawyer.
- Mmm.
Yep. And you are no slouch
in the work department either,
babe. [chuckles]
[sniffs]
[sighs]
Safe to say we all work a lot.
- Mm-hmm. Yeah.
- Yeah. That's adulthood for you.
Yeah. Just slaving away doing shit
you don't care about. [chuckles]
Well, that's not really how you feel.
I mean, beer is your passion.
That is true. It is. Mmm.
Yeah.
- Would you like gluten-free focaccia?
- Oh. Right… Right now?
- Yeah. Come in! Have a drink. Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, let's do it.
- Let me get you a glass of wine.
We gotta set some ground rules right now.
- Ground rules, really? In my house?
- Yes. Absolutely.
Do not bring up any
of my past relationships.
Don't be a Will historian.
Don't be an expert on me, okay?
Oh, an expert. What does that mean?
It means that little lecture you just gave
everyone over how much I like beer.
- Oh, lecture?
- It was like a fucking TED Talk, okay?
Just don't act like
you know everything about me.
I do know everything about you.
Except for the origins of "Penguini."
We like penguins. They're fucking cute,
okay? That's it. That's it.
Just, also,
don't be a bitch to her, please.
You know what, I…
Thank you for the reminder, actually.
- Sometimes people need to be reminded.
- I appreciate that.
[Will] Ooh! Look at this spread.
So, you and Will went to college together.
What was he like back then?
Um, he was… he was just the same.
Mmm. Yeah.
In what way?
I don't know. I mean, I… It's so long ago.
I don't really dwell
on those times anyway.
I'm… I'm not a Will historian. [chuckles]
- Mmm.
- Okay, boys.
Promise not to talk wedding details
all night, but… [inhales sharply]
Any leads on the horse-drawn carriage
with the white stallion?
What? And Will's gonna be
in shining armor?
I'm sorry, I didn't… This is the first
that I'm hearing about this stuff.
No, that's not true, actually.
We… [stammers] We talked about it.
We for sure talked about it because
it's a big priority for us, you know?
Um… [stammers] …it's that we, um,
we're gonna have a horse-drawn carriage
take us from the ceremony.
Um… with, you know, uh…
doves being released and
people throwing flowers at us
and people playing those long,
kinda trumpet things
with the banners hanging down from them.
Kinda like a Cinderella moment.
Like a Cinderella moment.
I definitely brought it up.
I, for sure, you know?
You were looking right at me.
But sometimes you do that thing where,
you know, you're looking at the person
but you're kinda tuned out.
Mmm.
Uh… Mmm.
- Maybe.
- [clears throat] You know what?
- [clicks tongue, stammers] You're right.
- I am.
I'm just realizing. I dropped the ball.
[sighs] I dropped the ball on that one.
I am so sorry. I've just had so many
details swirling around in my head.
You know a little life hack I use
to help me remember things at work?
No. What is it?
I write things down.
Like, all the time.
I'm gonna write that down. I'm gonna
write down to "write things down."
- [chuckles]
- Yeah. That's great.
Smart. Smart.
- Thank you. Yeah. Thank you.
- You're welcome. Yeah.
Oh, my God,
he just threw me under the bus.
He threw you
under the horse-drawn carriage.
I think I would remember
something that epically tacky.
Well, you did the right thing
letting it go.
I'll write that down.
Yeah, that was a bit much.
I mean, he doesn't really wanna leave
in a horse-drawn carriage, does he?
That's so not Will.
You know what?
The heart wants what the heart wants.
Oh, whatever. Feel like
we're never gonna be couple friends
and Will and I are
slowly gonna drift apart.
Yeah, well, either way, this evening
will come to an end, so that's a comfort.
It's so exciting you guys
are launching a new chain.
Yeah. It's really cool for me to see
how Johnny 66, like, operates up close.
Especially if, you know,
for when I open my own bar one day.
- Oh, is something new in the works?
- Yeah, sort of.
I think it's helpful
for Will to have a goal
even if it's not something
he's actively working towards.
Yeah. It's helpful for me.
No, I didn't… I didn't mean that
in a derogatory sense.
- It's just a statement. Like a fact.
- No. What's derogatory about that?
It's nice to have a goal
that you're not working towards.
- You're very focused on Jay 6 right now…
- Yeah, it's nice.
- I am very focused on Jay 6.
- Yeah.
I get it.
Hear you're turning Will into a golfer.
Yes. Yeah, he's taking lessons
at the club.
- Wow.
- You know,
- Maeve wants to take golf lessons.
- That's right.
Yeah, our littlest, but, uh, she's not
sporty at all and there's a lot of gear.
Yeah, she didn't walk
until she was 18 months old
'cause she couldn't
really be bothered, so…
- That's true.
- I… I walked when I was five months old.
- [chuckling] What?
- Wait, what? Really?
Yes.
I've never heard of anything
like that before.
That's 'cause it's not real or true.
It's like a legend
her family likes to tell.
She walked when she was five months old.
No, it's not… it's not a legend.
[stammers] It is… It is real.
It's a… It's a fact.
I-I-I walked when I was five months old.
Fun fact, I, uh, Jet Skied outta
my mom's vagina when I was born.
Yeah, you know… you know,
you can… you can make your jokes,
but, um, you know what else?
I-I learned to ice-skate when I was one.
[scoffs] Yeah.
Look, these are little urban legends
your family likes to tell itself,
you know what I mean?
But they're not true.
You shouldn't tell people this shit
as though it's true. You know what I mean?
My family has these little legends too.
Mine is that I wore diapers
till I was six.
I didn't,
but she loves to tell people I did.
That's not a legend. A legend is Hercules.
Like, a legend is Moana.
You know, these are… whereas these
are things that happened that-that I did.
Moana's a Pixar movie, and also,
you did not do that.
If you did, you'd be
in the Guinness Book of World Records
for "the youngest person ever
to walk and ice-skate."
You're not, as far as I know. I assume
you would've brought it up if you were.
- Speaking of the Guinness book…
- That's right.
My great-uncle, uh, Larry, he was actually
in the Guinness Book of World Records
'cause he had a parrot
that could ride a scooter.
You claim you can tell
where hops are from just by smelling them,
- and that's literally impossible.
- It's not.
I can, 'cause it's my job to smell hops,
and I'm very good at it.
I actually beat a dog in a sniff-off once.
- Beat a dog. That's very impressive.
- I did.
Well, it is 'cause dogs can sniff good.
It's like how you can beat a cheetah
in a footrace when you were one years old.
Where do you even buy
ice skates for a one-year-old?
- Do you have a cobbler custom-make those?
- Take a look at this.
'Cause they're not a real thing
because one-year-olds don't ice-skate.
Like finding a parachute
for a one-year-old.
- Amazon, ice skates, one-year-old.
- That's a costume.
That's a Halloween costume, so a kid
can pretend to be an ice-skater
'cause they can't do it in real life.
Think the chickpea flour
gluten-free brownies are nearly ready.
Oh. Never mind. Ten more minutes.
Great.
- This is fun.
- That's a shame. Um…
- [Jenna sighs]
- [Sylvia] Mmm.
You know, she could drive at six.
[Will] Thank you so much.
Yeah. Thanks-Thanks so much
for having us, Sylvia.
- Really fun, yeah.
- [gasps] Coyote!
- Everybody freeze!
- Oh, shit.
Get the fuck outta here!
[sighs] That was so awesome.
Thank you so much for coming.
- Yeah, that was great.
- Yeah.
- Yeah. Fun. Delicious. Delicious meal.
- That was awesome.
- Thanks for coming all the way here.
- Absolutely! Yeah.
- Let's do it again.
- Yeah.
- Drive safe, guys. That was excellent.
- Goodbye.
- Take care.
- So fun to see you all. You're good!
Bye!
Bye!
[sighs]
Hey. I'm… I shouldn't have…
- Oh, wait. Sorry. [stammers]
- Oh, yeah. Yeah. No, no, no. Um…
Very sorry about tonight, okay?
No, I'm sorry too.
I don't know why I dug my heels in
about the whole walking thing.
I guess… It's just I've mentioned it
before in front of you,
so I was surprised when you pushed back.
Well, I shouldn't have. [stammering]
It was stupid.
You know, I'm sorry, you know.
I-I wasn't there when you learned to walk
or… or ice-skate,
you know, any of that stuff.
I think I feel intimidated
by your friendship with Sylvia.
You're different around her
than you usually are.
And I know you didn't tell her about
the horse-drawn carriage. I'm not dumb.
I know it's not your thing.
That must've been why I acted out.
Well, I didn't help. Okay, I'm sorry,
I-I made a whole scene.
I shouldn't have done that.
Maybe it would be a good idea for me
and Sylvia to go out tomorrow night
before I head back to San Diego.
Just the two of us.
I mean, is it really that important to you
to get to know Sylvia?
Well, it depends.
Is she really that important to you?
I mean, I think she'd be really psyched
if you invited her out.
Did I ever tell you that I was two
when I learned to windsurf?
Wow. Is that before or after
you scaled El Capitan Free Solo-style
for the first time?
- That was after.
- Oh, wow.
- Way after.
- Amazing.
- Gonna have a very impressive wife.
- I know. Yeah.
- I'm excited about it.
- [phone buzzes]
[groans] Hang on.
Oh, God. It's the German office.
[exclaims] Tell them heil.
Guten Tag, Johan 66.
Ja. Oh.
[rings]
- [Will] Hey.
- So, you probably already know this,
but Jenna invited me to dinner.
Yeah, I'm, uh, I'm-I'm well aware.
Can we talk about
what happened last night?
Yes, we probably should.
Look, I love Jenna,
but she's very different from you and I,
and when we're together,
those differences become magnified,
and it makes me self-conscious.
Are you reading from a pamphlet?
Buddy, I… I really like Jenna, okay?
You don't need to worry
about any of that stuff.
You think the horse-drawn carriage
is stupid, okay? Just admit it.
Look, it's not my cup of tea,
but if it makes Jenna happy,
then who gives a shit what I think?
I do. See, that's the problem.
The J.Lo speech
and the horse-drawn carriage.
When I'm around you,
I see it through your eyes,
and it makes me act out towards Jenna,
and I don't like it.
And that's why I was trying to
keep you guys apart, you know?
[stammers] Okay. Well, are there rules
that I should know about?
Is there words that
you don't want me to say?
Like, are you gonna yell at me if I
mention that you liked pizza in college?
Look, I was wrong, and you were right.
I want you guys to be friends.
You're both very important to me,
and you should know better than anyone,
I was much more
of a calzone guy in college.
Let's go back to "I was right."
We moved off that too quickly.
Can you say that again? Sorry?
What was that?
Yeah, that part
of the conversation's over.
Have fun at dinner. Talk to you soon. Bye.
So Will just told me that
you used to be a lawyer. I had no idea.
Yes, I went to law school.
That part is true.
Um, that's where I met Charlie, actually.
Aw. [chuckles] Did you ever practice?
Mm-hmm. Um, for a couple of years,
and then I had a baby and more babies and…
Seriously, in this day and age,
you'd think we'd be past this baloney
- of having to choose.
- Totally.
It is literally impossible to be a woman.
You have to be extraordinary
but somehow you're always doing it wrong.
You have to be thin but not too thin.
You have to be a boss
but can't be too mean.
- Is that from the Barbie movie?
- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
I loved it. I loved it. Did you see it?
Yeah, Maeve made me take her,
like, eight times, you know?
It was…
People loved it. People love that movie.
- So good. Yeah.
- Mm-hmm. It was awesome.
- [chuckles] Thanks for inviting me out.
- Yeah.
Thank you for introducing me
to this restaurant. It's so good.
I saw a little gelato place nearby
if you wanna extend the night a little.
Mmm. You know I like to rage.
Oh, that is the, uh, head of Del Taco.
Man thinks he invented the burrito.
A real Ken.
[whispers] Oh, my God. I hate a Ken.
- I don't… I don't wanna talk to that guy.
- Okay, yeah.
Let's go to the bathroom. I'll cover you.
That would be great. Thank you.
You know, Sylvia, I have to admit,
I was a little anxious
about getting to know you.
I know, me too.
I really wanted us to hit it off.
Yeah, I mean you and Will
have known each other forever,
and compared to you,
I am the new kid on the block.
- Oh, please, that doesn't matter.
- It does. No, Will loves you,
and you guys have so much fun together.
You're witty and sophisticated
and spontaneous and, hello, gorgeous.
- Who would not be a little intimidated?
- [Sylvia laughing]
I should be intimidated by you,
Miss CEO. Please.
[stammers] I… I guess I have always been
a little jealous of the two of you,
but now that I've gotten to know you,
I realize, it was all in my head.
- Of course it was.
- You are just a regular, old person.
I am the most regular person
you could hope to meet.
I know. I mean, you're nothing.
What?
["Barbie Girl" playing]