Salish & Jordan Matter (2026) s02e02 Episode Script

[Jordan] Today,
my daughter's best friend, Nidal,
attempts five friendship challenges
to prove he knows her
better than anyone else.
If he completes everything successfully,
I will pay for them to go
wherever they want.
Round 1, Guess the Gift.
Nidal, there's a present here
from your mother,
from your sister, and from Salish.
You have to guess
which one is Salish's present.
Open this one first.
I know you way too well,
so I think I know what you'll get me.
If you get this wrong, you automatically
don't get the surprise at the end.
[Nidal] Okay, grooming kit.
So this is shampoo and conditioner,
because, I mean, you're too lazy
to shampoo and condition.
- That's true.
- Smells pretty good.
[Jordan] Salish is going to pretend
she bought each present to fool Nidal.
This is pomade.
Put it all over your hair.
- And make it just stick right up.
- Oww!
Your hair is always bad,
so I need to make it better.
Oh! It already looks better.
She does do his hair a lot.
That's either my mom's gift
or Salish's gift.
For Valentine's Day this year,
Salish was able to pass five
compatibility challenges with Nidal,
including picking him out
of a lineup blindfolded.
Ever since then,
Nidal has wanted to prove that
his bond with Salish is just as strong.
In order to do that, he'll have to pass
all five challenges today,
including a blindfold round.
Okay, open the second one now.
No, Jehan got this. I know it is.
- I wanted to get that for you.
- [Nidal] Nalish!
I just wanted to make sure
that you always remembered me
because I know
I'm your favorite person in the world.
- [Nidal] Mmm.
- Just so you remember me all the time.
Would she get him a Nalish bracelet?
Don't know.
She's gotten him a Nalish necklace,
and she did make me this bracelet.
It looks very similar.
- [buzzer sounds]
- Nope, that's Jiji. Moving on.
Okay. This has to be Salish.
So I got these for you,
then I decided I was a little hungry,
so I had a bite.
I got all five challenges right,
and so you better get this one.
If you don't,
I'm gonna smack you really hard.
Oh, jeez, okay! Added pressure.
Will he pass round one?
You hate my hair.
- I do.
- But we both agree on lime chips.
If I said, "What chips do you want?"
you'd be, "Lime chips."
And if you were to give me lime chips,
you'd eat them before me.
- So I'mma go with the lime chips.
- Yay! I don't have to smack you!
- Yes! Yes, yes!
- Let's go!
Moving on to round two.
- I said, moving on to round two!
- Yeah, we'll be there in a minute.
I'll walk you to the next round.
Big step, yes, and get in it.
- What's going on? What's happening?
- I'm getting ready.
- I wanna leave.
- Wait!
I'm literally almost there.
Okay, good enough.
This next round is called
Guess the Product That Salish Likes Best.
There will be three rounds,
and Nidal will have to guess two correctly
to win this challenge.
Oh, and, by the way, every time
you guess it wrong, you get slimed.
- What?
- Ready? Okay.
This is miso soup and rice.
These are McDonald's french fries.
This is Impossible meat,
but imagine it was an Impossible burger.
Turn around. Salish,
point out your favorite to the camera.
- What's your favorite food?
- Miso soup with rice.
Now we've all seen her favorite.
Is it an Impossible burger,
french fries from McDonald's,
or miso and rice?
You don't like McDonald's fries.
I know that.
And the Impossible burger,
she loves because it's fake,
it's not animals, it's made from plants,
and she said she likes soup.
She's gettin' the bucket.
Is it the Impossible burger?
Or the miso and rice?
I'm gonna say miso and rice.
- Yes! Dang it.
- Whoa!
- [Jordan] No!
- Let's go!
I really thought that
I would get to pour slime on you.
It's okay. We still have two more rounds.
Next round. Magic time!
[boom]
Pink Drinks!
The Starbucks order
has to be exactly correct.
If you don't get it,
you have to get slimed.
A grande Pink Drink with light ice
and extra strawberry inclusions.
A grande Pink Drink
with extra vanilla sweet cold foam.
And then the last one is
grande Pink Drink,
extra vanilla sweet cold foam
with light ice.
Turn around. Point to your favorite.
Pink Drink with vanilla cold foam
and light ice.
- Okay, ready?
- Which one is my favorite?
- One, two, or three? Go.
- [dramatic music playing]
- Number one.
- [buzzer sounds]
[Jordan] Ohh!
[upbeat pop music playing]
[Jordan laughing]
Well, onto the next round!
Which one was it?
The middle one, wasn't it?
- No, this one!
- Dang it!
I… I was gonna say the middle one.
- I get this every time we're together.
- Which one do I get?
- A vanilla steamer.
- Okay.
- I don't like this kind of Pink Drink.
- Wait, what?
- [yelps]
- [Jordan] Oh!
- [Salish squeals]
- Salish!
- [Nidal, echoing] No! No!
- I'm so…
[bleep]
- I have three outfits.
- [chiming]
And you have to guess
which one is my favorite.
Now, turn around so I can show them
which one's my favorite.
In order to be just like Salish was
on Valentine's Day and get every round,
you have to get this one right,
or else you don't get
a special surprise at the end.
- Are you ready?
- Yes.
Which is it?
I've seen her wear all of it,
so I don't know.
Okay, well, which one do you think it is?
I think it's…
the crop top.
- [yelps]
- [Jordan] Oh! Oh!
Whoo!
- That was right!
- It was right?
- [Nidal yells]
- [Jordan] Oh no! No! No, stop!
[Nidal yells] Salish!
Actually cut! It's going out of hand.
Nidal's gonna take a quick shower.
We're back in a second.
It was right,
but I obviously had to slime him anyway.
- Changing up his look for the next round.
- Yeah. I'm sure this is looking good.
There's gonna be
a bunch of very close-up photos,
and you have to say
whether or not it is Salish.
- Bye, Dad, thank you.
- Okay.
[Jordan] Nidal has to get ten right
to win this round.
I feel like that's me,
but why does my skin look so wrinkly?
- It's not you. I know it's not.
- It's either me or a celebrity.
- What's your guess, Nidal?
- I don't think that's you.
No? Okay, let's see.
- [buzzer sounds]
- Ah--
- You were wrong!
- Ow! Okay!
The inspiration for this idea
came from a trend
I see on Famous Birthdays all the time
called Guess the Person.
- Next one.
- Is that Salish's knee or someone else's?
- That's someone else's.
- Mine. I think it's mine.
- [buzzer sounds]
- [Salish] Yes!
- [laughs]
- Aah!
He's 0 for 2 already.
This could be over early.
- [Salish] That was so long ago.
- [Nidal] Okay.
[giggling] I heard a bone crack.
Okay, let's do the next one.
- That is not Salish whatsoever.
- Yeah, not me.
- That was Charli D'Amelio. No slap.
- Charli D'Amelio.
Salish's elbow.
I know 'cause of Spider-Man.
Yeah, that's me, 'cause of the Spider-Man.
- Yeah.
- Good job. Nidal, is that me?
I'mma say yes.
- [whacking]
- Ow, ow, ow, ow!
- Ow!
- Okay, next.
That's you. That's you.
- [Jordan] Aww!
- [Nidal laughs]
Oh! No!
[Jordan] What? Oh!
[laughing] Look!
Sandy, zoom in on that photo.
Remember when we walked in,
there was this spider web.
- It was so scary.
- You were so scared, grabbing onto me.
But that was because I was scared,
not 'cause I wanted to hug you. Next one.
That's you, in the dip, on Disneyland.
I know it for sure.
- I knew it. I'm so good at this.
- You just have all these memories!
- Aww!
- I remember my--
- You're so cute!
- Ow!
This is really sweet.
Not only is he getting it every time,
but he also remembers when it happened.
- Oh, that's, um… that's Mila.
- That's Mila. Mila.
- Mila. I knew it. I'm too good.
- She's so cute!
I don't know who that is. I'll say
it's you 'cause it looks like you.
- No, no, no, no!
- Yes, yes! Aah!
I know.
- Aah!
- Oh, wait, that was me.
Wait, then you said no!
- No, wait, no!
- Yay!
You just wanna hit me.
Why were you looking at me like that?
Why were you looking at me like that?
[modem whirring]
- Okay, on to the next picture.
- I really wanna hit you.
That's not you. Jenna Ortega.
I'll dance, dance, dance
With my hands, hands, hands ♪
Above my head, head, head… ♪
Okay, I forgot the dance.
That's you. That's you. 100%.
That's not me.
- What? I thought it was you!
- Not me!
- Ow, ow, ow!
- That's not me!
- What is this? It's not you.
- That's a boy.
- Eleven.
- [both giggle]
[makes chittering sound]
[Jordan laughs]
I was talked into giving Nidal and Salish
wherever they want to go
if he wins all rounds.
So far, he's looking pretty good.
The kid knows Salish, no doubt.
Okay, that's 100% you.
Whenever we were laying on Disneyland.
- Yeah. That was me. Yeah.
- I remember the rocks.
Not you. What?
Why would they put that picture?
- Yes!
- [Jordan] Oh!
- [laughing]
- [Nidal] What? Hey! I…
You don't know my necklace
I wear, like, every day?
This is very close. One left. This will
determine if he goes to the next round.
That's not you. What? Wait.
- No, it's not.
- That's you.
No, you said it wasn't!
- Oh, wait! Wait, wait!
- I said it was! No, I said it was.
- Wait! Replay! Replay!
- No!
That's you.
- Ow! You hit me for no reason.
- You're fine.
Replay says he changed his answer
at the last second.
We're movin' on to the next round.
For the next round, there are five people
sitting on the other side of this curtain,
and one of them is Salish.
You get to ask them questions,
just like she did to you that one time.
Do I miss you?
I would hope so.
You hope so?
- You have to pick Salish out of the five.
- Oh, this is gonna be hard.
Now, he's gonna be wearing
noise-canceling headphones.
Whenever they talk,
their voices are gonna be modulated.
[high-pitched] So they will
sound like this.
At the end, you have to pick them.
If you don't, you've already lost.
- Then you don't get the surprise.
- Aww.
Okay. Person number one is about to go.
Person number one
is gonna happen any second.
Put your headphones on.
I'm putting myself number one because
I am definitely gonna be able to fool him.
I know Salish
better than anyone else here.
- [high-pitched] Hi.
- [girls laugh]
Okay.
Ahem.
- [modulated] Hi.
- Hey.
[modulated] Hey.
- There's no way that this is Salish.
- What are you talking about?
Bro, what?
That's not Salish. That's a guy.
- That's rude.
- Hah! That's not Salish at all.
- Ask me a question. I'll prove it.
- Okay.
[laughs squawkily]
Hold on, this is not Salish at all,
but I'll ask a question, okay.
- Where was the first place we met?
- Santa Monica Beach, duh.
Okay. Okay. What was
our favorite ride together?
Roller coaster for you, as you're scared.
Nope, it was the Dragon. Next. [giggles]
No, the roller coaster.
I liked that better.
No, me and Salish liked the Dragon more.
This is not Salish.
I don't think that anybody else
is gonna be able to fool Nidal.
He knows me really, really well.
So I think I'm gonna have
to give them some answers.
Okay. What's my favorite color?
[whispering]
- Hold on. I'm thinking.
- You should know this.
Green because his eyes are ugly.
I got distracted. Everyone's laughing.
Green because your eyes are ugly.
Nope, not even close.
It should be, your eyes are ugly.
Did I say you're ugly? You're ugly.
Okay, yeah, nah. Not Salish.
- Whatever, bye.
- Next.
- Yes or no on Salish? The first?
- Absolutely not.
She didn't know our roller coaster.
She should easily get that.
She didn't know my favorite color.
I don't know. He doesn't have one.
- Red. Red, red, red.
- Her voice sounded low, like a guy.
How could it sound low
if you've got voice modulation?
- It just sounds weird.
- Person number two comin' up.
I've known Jordan forever,
since, like, way
in the beginning days of YouTube.
I've known Salish forever.
I've got this in the bag.
- Hello?
- [modulated] Hi?
Hold on. It does sound like her a little.
- Hello?
- Hello.
- Is this Salish? What's your name?
- Salish.
[chuckles]
What's our favorite place to hang out?
[whispers] Santa Monica.
Santa Monica.
- [whispers] The rides.
- The rides.
The pier, close enough. Okay.
- How cool am I?
- You're not cool.
Okay, that sounds like
something Salish would say.
[applause]
What's the first thing I do
when I see you?
Pick me up, duh.
Okay. Okay. What do you think of my hair?
It looks like a rat's nest.
Okay. That sounds like
something Salish would say.
- Okay, Salish, who's taller?
- You.
- You always like to argue you're taller.
- [murmurs]
Yeah, but, like, you're taller.
Ooh, I don't know.
Salish always says that she's taller.
Yeah, I am taller,
but technically, you're taller.
- [Nidal] How does that work?
- Uh…
Okay. What's my biggest
pet peeve about you?
Nothing. I'm perfect.
This is sounding not like Salish.
I don't know.
- But I am Salish.
- What's your last name?
[crickets chirping]
Matter.
Okay, that took you way too long.
Wait, what's your middle name?
I'm not telling you.
Okay, yeah, not Salish! Not Salish.
- Okay, I'm bored. I'm out of here.
- All right. Bye.
Sofie had a couple of good answers,
but I don't think she fooled Nidal.
I don't know them really well,
but I've been studying and I watched
all their videos, so I got this.
- Hello?
- [modulated] Hi!
[boinging]
Is this Salish?
Ask me questions.
- This is not Salish. No way.
- [buzzer sounds]
You're just stupid. Yes, it is.
[Nidal] No, no way.
[giggles]
What's my favorite way
to spend a Saturday?
[whispers] Spend a Saturday? Gaming.
Okay, okay.
- Uh…
- [whispers] Oculus.
The Oculus, though.
- Aah! That's the one! Yes, right there.
- See?
Wait, hold on. That "see?"
didn't sound so realistic.
Um, okay.
- Would you beat me in an arm wrestle?
- Duh.
Okay, yeah, no.
Next person. This is not Salish.
I beat Salish two times in an arm wrestle.
- Where did I move?
- Texas.
- Okay. Did you miss me?
- No.
- Wow, I thought you missed me.
- Why would I miss you?
- Because I'm your best friend.
- Yeah, I'm glad you moved.
Okay.
Just kidding, I'm just kidding!
Wait, Salish, why don't you ever visit me?
'Cause I have gymnastics.
- [Nidal] You can't skip for me?
- Why would I miss gymnastics for you?
[Nidal] It sounds like Salish,
but a little too mean.
Oh! No, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I'm just playing around.
- Where was our first date?
- Universal Studios, but it wasn't a date.
- Yeah, it was.
- No, it wasn't.
- I asked you and you said yeah.
- No, I didn't. That was all in your head.
- Will you go on a date with me?
- Sure!
How was it in my head?
You literally said yeah.
Oh. Well, yeah,
anyways, it doesn't matter.
Okay, this sounds a lot like Salish,
but I'm not sure, so next.
I was able to pick him,
so he better be able to pick me.
- [modulated] What do you want?
- Is this Salish? Hold on.
Just ask me questions.
I have things to do.
- What am I most passionate about?
- The Oculus. Nothing.
- I don't know. You don't have a heart.
- What? I don't have a heart?
Yeah, how would I know? What?
- This kind of sounds like Salish.
- Oh. Um, yeah, 'cause it is.
- [Nidal] Mmm.
- Just go. I have things to do.
You don't have things to do. That's a lie.
- Actually, I do. I have gymnastics.
- Today, there's no gymnastics.
- Dang it, how did you know?
- Aah! There's no gymnastics today! No!
- Yes!
- Wait! Today… Yes there is!
I'm missing it, though, for this.
Say the ABCs backwards.
Wait, we actually have rehearsed this.
Z, Y, X, W, V, U, T,
S, R, Q, P, O, N, M, L, K,
J, I, H, G, F, E, D, C, B, A.
Something like that.
- Why do you wanna know?
- Is that Salish?
I don't know. It sounds like her.
Okay, how cool am I?
- Not cool. What do you think?
- I think I'm cool.
Well, obviously,
you think you're cool. I don't.
Who makes you laugh the most,
and why is it me?
Your hair. Obviously.
- Your hair looks so ugly.
- My hair's not bad.
Yeah, it looks like a rat's nest.
You need to get it cut.
Sounds like something Salish would say.
What letter is Jordan's hairline?
An M.
Okay, yeah, this is Salish.
No way it's not.
[easygoing pop music playing]
Who's the better flipper, me or you?
Well, I have the better technique,
but you have more flips.
- I don't need technique.
- Yeah, you do!
- No.
- Your toes are all flexed and… Ew, no.
Nidal, you used to be good,
but now you just don't flip anymore.
You just game.
You're turning into an old man.
Wow!
I don't know. I think this is Salish.
Would you beat me in an arm wrestle?
- I used to think so, but not anymore.
- Hah!
- This is Salish! No way. Is it?
- [laughing] No, it's not!
- Okay, this is definitely Salish.
- No, it's not. What do you mean?
- This is definitely Salish. I know.
- I'm Sofie.
No, I'm actually Sofie. Okay, bye, loser.
Okay, bye, loser.
[whispers] Okay, that was
actually pretty good.
I think I have the best chance
of fooling Nidal,
because I'm the same height as Salish,
I kind of sound like Salish,
so there's no way
that he's not gonna be tricked.
[modulated] Hi.
- Is this Salish?
- Yes.
- What should I do to improve my style?
- A lot of things.
- [Nidal] Like what? Name one.
- Stop wearing Naruto shirts.
Hey, I hear whispering. I hear whispering!
You need to do so much
to improve your style.
I can't list it all.
It would take all day.
Name two things.
Stop shopping at Target.
Whoa, what?
No, not Salish whatsoever.
Salish loves shopping at Target with me.
Say the ABCs backwards.
You know, I'm actually really tired today…
- So I think…
- Okay, yeah, no, not Salish, not Salish.
Time for a decision.
Everybody stand up, please.
[suspenseful music playing]
Hold on.
I'm debating between three and four.
Number four knew more about me.
And two was more rude,
so that's definitely Salish.
But number three did answer
a couple of questions.
Mmm! Uh… Hold on.
- I'm sticking with number four.
- Number four, step forward, please.
Take off his blindfold.
- [laughs]
- I knew it! Yes! I knew it was you!
[Jordan] Nidal is doing great so far,
but there is one final challenge left.
I heard you whispering, by the way.
You were telling them stuff.
Oops. Okay, next round.
Now, let's see if you can pick me
without any words.
- How?
- We'll see. Come on.
Nidal is really nailing this.
He plays it cool, but it's obvious
he's very connected to her.
This is the final round.
If you're able to pick Salish blindfolded?
- You guys get to go wherever you want.
- Ooh!
You can only touch their hands
and their face to make a decision.
Salish was able to pick you blindfolded.
Are you just as connected to her
as she is to you?
- We're about to find out. Ready?
- Hopefully.
For number one, go ahead.
Huh. Ooh, these feel like baby hands.
Is this Salish?
Aah.
This is definitely a baby face.
This is Salish. No way it's not.
No way.
That's the most baby hands I've ever felt.
Move to number two.
Does everyone just have baby hands?
This is Salish. No way it's not.
Nails? Okay, that's a bit shorter.
Like Salish.
Hold on. I think…
Also a baby face. What?
No way this isn't…
Ah. I don't know.
I don't know. That's also a maybe.
[mouths]
That's her. This is hard.
[Jordan] Number three.
[tense music playing]
These are a little bit bigger,
so I don't think that's Salish. Okay.
Okay…
Salish wasn't wearing any makeup.
I felt, like, foundation or something.
- I think that's not her.
- Okay.
Last person.
Okay.
Uh, not much of a baby face.
Ooh. I'm still debating
on number one and number two.
I feel like it was either.
- So it's between one or two?
- Yeah.
- For sure?
- Yes.
Here we go.
She's, like, the same height as me too.
No way. Is this Salish?
I don't know. I don't know.
Okay, let me hold your hand.
Okay. Mmm.
That doesn't feel like Salish, though.
Okay. That's not how she holds my hand.
Wait, number two?
Also same height as me. A little bit
shorter, which is like Salish.
Aah… Wait.
Aah! I don't know. I don't know.
- This is hard. I think number two.
- [mouths]
Hold my hand.
Okay. It would be, like, this hand.
Oh, hold on.
[dramatic, epic music playing]
Number two. Number two.
No way. Number two.
Okay. Are you sure?
Yeah. The cheeks and the way she held
my hand. There was something about it.
- [Jordan] Okay, take off your blindfold.
- [Nidal sighs]
Oh God, I'm nervous.
[joyful music playing]
- Yeah! I got it!
- [Jordan] Yeah!
- Whoo!
- [Nidal] Whoo! Bye, guys!
[Salish] You barely knew me.
You were gonna guess Anna.
Where are you goin'?
[Nidal] To the world's
biggest bounce house!
Oh! It could've been so much worse.
That's good. World's largest bounce house,
here we come.