Smiling Friends (2020) s02e02 Episode Script
Mr. President
1
Good evening and
welcome to Worm News.
I'm your host, William Worm.
Yes, and I'm Wendy Worm.
Yes, we know.
First up, an election update.
Squiggly Miggly narrowly
clenched the nomination today,
making him the
main rival to the
highly unpopular
President Jimble.
Squiggly Miggly's
definitely going to win.
President Jimble has no chance.
You never know, Allan.
After all,
President Ross Perot won
re-election in
1996 in a major upset.
Oh, you're so right, Pim.
I forgot about that factoid.
Who are you
going to vote for, Charlie?
I don't vote.
OK, I'll tell you why
right now, Pim.
Listen up very carefully.
Little guys like you and me
were called ..
and we don't decide
who the President is.
Come on, Charlie. That's silly.
Every single vote matters.
Look, I'm just not interested in
getting involved in politics,
Okay? Sorry.
Hey, boys,
guess who just got a call to
make the Preside..
The President will see you now.
We do need corn,
you dumb motherfucker!
Send bombs, not corn, BOMBS!
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I, uh
You suck!
You're bad at what you do!
Quit Motherfucker!
QUIT!
Good to speak to you, too.
Thank you. You're terrific.
Oh, oh, hi.
Are you two here to bring
me my napkins?
No.
Okay, let me just buzz in..
Mr. President, we're the
Smiling Friends.
Oh, you's are the
two two's I called.
I don't know if you heard,
but I was the Vice
President to, uh
President Pinhead.
He died last month from a
bad shrimp,
and I became
the President.
Yeah, we know.
It was literally
the bad shrimp.
Tragedy.
But now I'm friggin' miserable
since I became the President.
All these trolls keep
hating me,
and I don't
I don't know why.
Dude, no offence or anything,
but have you ever thought
that maybe you should not
be President
and maybe you
should, like, I don't know,
go lay on a beach or
something instead and chill out?
I can't.
This upcoming election
is by one ..
to prove I'm not a fluke.
I want to win something
for once in my life
so people will finally like me.
President Jimble,
it doesn't matter how
you got this job.
What matters now is that you're
the one sitting behind
that beautiful brown desk,
and I believe
that's destiny.
Plenty of Presidents
were unpopular until
they found out they
were good at one specific thing.
We just need to find out
what your thing is,
and you'll definitely
beat Squiggly Miggly.
Yeah.
You're sayin', I can be
the lamb president.
No, I mean, like, policy,
like, presidential stuff.
What?
Um, anyway, luckily
it's just a two-man race,
so it shouldn't be
too complicated.
Uh, guys,
I don't know a..
It's no secret that
President Jimble's A..
is poor, angry and divided.
That's why Mr Frog
is running for President.
America needs his
calm and steady
leadership to build
a safer America.
A prosperous America,
a stronger America.
Vote for Mr Frog,
and together we can build
Mr Frog's America.
Hello, I'm Mr Frog
and I approve this message.
No, I don't. I hate you.
Fuck you.
Pim, That was amazing. I just
got
goose pimples from watching
that.
Charlie, don't look at that.
Sir, have you ever tried giving
a rousing speech
and inspiring the people?
Maybe it's your hidden talent.
I feel nauseous.
Nah, it's just your
nerves talking, man.
You'll be fine.
Hello, Transylvania!
I know most of you don't like
me,
but I'm here to ..
I can talk good
and give a good speech.
Oh. Excuse me.
I think that lamb
I had earlier was rotten.
Okay, perfect.
That adult diaper should
help with any
unfortunate accidents while
you're, ah, feeling unwell.
Can we stop and
get more lamb for lunch?
No, no more lamb.
Pim, did you see Mr Frog just
announced his plan
to fix the economy?
Man, he is good.
Grr, I'll show that
toad bastard
an ergonomic plan!
Hello, America.
I'm going to be the
money president.
Each and every one of you
are going to get
one billion dollars each
so you can all be rich.
What are you doing?
You can't do that.
You'll crash the economy.
Oh, sorry. I didn't mean
to do that.
Everybody's going to
have to give
back all that money
to the government.
By the way, sorry about
those loud noises.
That was just my diaper.
I don't want to have another
accident from the bad lamb.
All better.
Dude, check the news.
It doesn't matter what channel.
Am I winning yet?
No, no, not at all, man.
You shit your pants and
crashed the economy
within the same day.
What are you
talking about, dude?
Pim - Look, the one thing
you've still got over
Mr Frog is is that
you're actually in office.
If we can just
get you this one easy
foreign policy win,
we can make a comeback.
I'm feeling sick again.
Oh, my God, dude!
Just get through it quickly.
You'll be ..
Guys, I did it. I did it.
I didn't get sick from
the soured lamb.
You you were supposed
to condemn him.
What?
You just emboldened
a war criminal dictator.
Dude, I don't know anything
about politics,
even I know he's bad.
He wiped a whole
fucking race of
people off the
face of the planet.
Maybe it will be all right.
All right, so it looks like
you're projected to
lose every single state
in what could be a
historic landslide for Mr Frog.
But we still have
the debate, I guess.
De-bate.
Haha. Debate.
If you think about it,
that's a funny word.
De-bate.
Thank you.
Pim, I can't do this anymore.
I'm done.
I'm bailing.
All right.
Who was that guy?
What?
Ugh, maybe we should..
Look, I know my brain
don't work no good sometimes,
but what about all
that stuff you told me?
I promise I'll get out there
and try my hardest this time.
Yeah, you're right.
No, I'm left.
Left-handed.
Man, this place is a labyrinth.
How the hell
do I get out of here?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'm just trying
to find my way out of here.
That's okay.
We're just an all-powerful
secret society that
you shouldn't know about.
We're just implementing our
insane secret plan to elect Mr
Frog
through mass
media manipulation.
I knew it. I knew
the voters didn't
actually pick the president.
Yes, and now that you
know our plan,
we're going to cover
you in dirt
and slowly devour you
because we're worms.
No, I'm actually cool with
your guy's plan,
the current guy's
a bonehead.
Oh, really? Cool.
Yeah, Mr Frog's chaos is
exactly what we need to
expand our power. Join us.
Sorry, I can't betray my friend.
He's helping President Jimble.
But I really am a big
fan of Mr Frog, like a huge fan.
I love when he eats the
bug on the show.
He -- He does what?
Yeah, you know,
when he grabs the
bug on the Mr Frog
show and eats it,
it's like his whole thing.
Oh my God!
Aren't we a type of bug?
Wait, stop!
Wait, stop!
Everyone just stop!
Let's just make sure.
Do frogs eat worms?
Yes, yes they do!
Oh my God,
that's TOO much chaos!
We're totally going to
support President Jimble now.
He doesn't eat worms,
he only eats lamb.
Wait, no, no, no, no, no!
Decisions final.
Goodbye.
Good evening. I'm William Worm.
Before we begin, we have
just received word that
Squiggly Miggly will not be
attending tonight's debate
due to the fact he blew his
head off with a 3D printed
shotgun.
We want to remind the
audience to please not,
ah, talk out loud,
do not applaud.
You're just wasting time.
Now, our first question
tonight goes to Mr Frog.
Mr Frog, why are you so evil?
You have one second to respond.
Hello, I think--
Time's up, plus you're wrong.
The next question is for our
beloved and
highly intelligent president.
Why are you so amazing?
You have unlimited time to
respond.
Oh, p-p-presidential
p-p-p-p
policy, I--
I can't do this.
A little pink guy once
told me I needed to
find out what I would
be good at as president.
I've finally figured it out.
I'm the president who
shouldn't have been the
president.
Let's face it, I'm a --
retard.
You know, I always
used to want to,
to win the election
and have people like me,
but I don't care about
that any more now.
I just want to
be honest, and everyone
that trolled me and
gave me nasty messages.
Fuck you!
Fuck off!
JAG-OFF!
Thank you.
That answer
was correct!
JIM-BLE! JIM-BLE! JIM-BLE!
JIM-BLE! JIM-BLE! JIM-BLE!
When do the
results start coming in?
Next few
minutes. I got 10 G's says
Jimble's gonna
win, and if he doesn't--
Then I'll take
matters into my own hands.
Ha ha! I'm just kidding!
I'll do it, though.
I'm just playing, dude.
No, I'm serious.
But no, I'll actually do it.
Hey, Pim, sorry about bailing
the other day, man.
I guess I'm not
really cut out for politics.
No, it's fine, Charlie.
Everything ended up working out.
I don't know if President Jimble
is gonna win, but something
about that debate
really turned things around.
Yeah, well, you know, it kind of
reminds me how Shrimpo Jones
won those debates
by surprise
and went onto
landslide in 1980.
Oh, Charlie, look at you
with the political facts now.
Yeah, well, hey,
man, who knows?
Maybe you're the one
that got me into politics.
Oh, okay, good!
Getting political! I see a
new Charlie! Oooo! Ahh!
I've seen you, Charlie!
Shut up! The
results are coming in.
And now for an election update.
Mr Frog and President Jimble
are in a virtual tie.
The only state yet
to be called is the state
of Pennsylvania
with its 19 electoral votes.
Whoever takes this state
will be our next president.
Oh, my God!
Jimble could really win this!
Uh, breaking.
We're just getting this now.
Ah, the state of
Pennsylvania has just been
called for Mr Frog
by one single vote,
making Mr Frog the
president-elect of the United
States.
Oh, this can't be right.
Don’t look at me, I don’t
know w..
Wait, what?
And we're getting
conf..
the one single vote
was from this guy.
We're putting his name,
face address and
social security number on screen
for our millions of viewers now.
Glep, What the fuck.
Dude? Why?
Well, whatever
I do now is on Glep.
Glep, why would
you vote for Mr Frog?
Our job was to
help President Jimble.
Oh, okay, yeah. Good point.
That makes sense.
That's fair. Yeah, yeah, okay.
This is the life.
Good evening and
welcome to Worm News.
I'm your host, William Worm.
Yes, and I'm Wendy Worm.
Yes, we know.
First up, an election update.
Squiggly Miggly narrowly
clenched the nomination today,
making him the
main rival to the
highly unpopular
President Jimble.
Squiggly Miggly's
definitely going to win.
President Jimble has no chance.
You never know, Allan.
After all,
President Ross Perot won
re-election in
1996 in a major upset.
Oh, you're so right, Pim.
I forgot about that factoid.
Who are you
going to vote for, Charlie?
I don't vote.
OK, I'll tell you why
right now, Pim.
Listen up very carefully.
Little guys like you and me
were called ..
and we don't decide
who the President is.
Come on, Charlie. That's silly.
Every single vote matters.
Look, I'm just not interested in
getting involved in politics,
Okay? Sorry.
Hey, boys,
guess who just got a call to
make the Preside..
The President will see you now.
We do need corn,
you dumb motherfucker!
Send bombs, not corn, BOMBS!
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I, uh
You suck!
You're bad at what you do!
Quit Motherfucker!
QUIT!
Good to speak to you, too.
Thank you. You're terrific.
Oh, oh, hi.
Are you two here to bring
me my napkins?
No.
Okay, let me just buzz in..
Mr. President, we're the
Smiling Friends.
Oh, you's are the
two two's I called.
I don't know if you heard,
but I was the Vice
President to, uh
President Pinhead.
He died last month from a
bad shrimp,
and I became
the President.
Yeah, we know.
It was literally
the bad shrimp.
Tragedy.
But now I'm friggin' miserable
since I became the President.
All these trolls keep
hating me,
and I don't
I don't know why.
Dude, no offence or anything,
but have you ever thought
that maybe you should not
be President
and maybe you
should, like, I don't know,
go lay on a beach or
something instead and chill out?
I can't.
This upcoming election
is by one ..
to prove I'm not a fluke.
I want to win something
for once in my life
so people will finally like me.
President Jimble,
it doesn't matter how
you got this job.
What matters now is that you're
the one sitting behind
that beautiful brown desk,
and I believe
that's destiny.
Plenty of Presidents
were unpopular until
they found out they
were good at one specific thing.
We just need to find out
what your thing is,
and you'll definitely
beat Squiggly Miggly.
Yeah.
You're sayin', I can be
the lamb president.
No, I mean, like, policy,
like, presidential stuff.
What?
Um, anyway, luckily
it's just a two-man race,
so it shouldn't be
too complicated.
Uh, guys,
I don't know a..
It's no secret that
President Jimble's A..
is poor, angry and divided.
That's why Mr Frog
is running for President.
America needs his
calm and steady
leadership to build
a safer America.
A prosperous America,
a stronger America.
Vote for Mr Frog,
and together we can build
Mr Frog's America.
Hello, I'm Mr Frog
and I approve this message.
No, I don't. I hate you.
Fuck you.
Pim, That was amazing. I just
got
goose pimples from watching
that.
Charlie, don't look at that.
Sir, have you ever tried giving
a rousing speech
and inspiring the people?
Maybe it's your hidden talent.
I feel nauseous.
Nah, it's just your
nerves talking, man.
You'll be fine.
Hello, Transylvania!
I know most of you don't like
me,
but I'm here to ..
I can talk good
and give a good speech.
Oh. Excuse me.
I think that lamb
I had earlier was rotten.
Okay, perfect.
That adult diaper should
help with any
unfortunate accidents while
you're, ah, feeling unwell.
Can we stop and
get more lamb for lunch?
No, no more lamb.
Pim, did you see Mr Frog just
announced his plan
to fix the economy?
Man, he is good.
Grr, I'll show that
toad bastard
an ergonomic plan!
Hello, America.
I'm going to be the
money president.
Each and every one of you
are going to get
one billion dollars each
so you can all be rich.
What are you doing?
You can't do that.
You'll crash the economy.
Oh, sorry. I didn't mean
to do that.
Everybody's going to
have to give
back all that money
to the government.
By the way, sorry about
those loud noises.
That was just my diaper.
I don't want to have another
accident from the bad lamb.
All better.
Dude, check the news.
It doesn't matter what channel.
Am I winning yet?
No, no, not at all, man.
You shit your pants and
crashed the economy
within the same day.
What are you
talking about, dude?
Pim - Look, the one thing
you've still got over
Mr Frog is is that
you're actually in office.
If we can just
get you this one easy
foreign policy win,
we can make a comeback.
I'm feeling sick again.
Oh, my God, dude!
Just get through it quickly.
You'll be ..
Guys, I did it. I did it.
I didn't get sick from
the soured lamb.
You you were supposed
to condemn him.
What?
You just emboldened
a war criminal dictator.
Dude, I don't know anything
about politics,
even I know he's bad.
He wiped a whole
fucking race of
people off the
face of the planet.
Maybe it will be all right.
All right, so it looks like
you're projected to
lose every single state
in what could be a
historic landslide for Mr Frog.
But we still have
the debate, I guess.
De-bate.
Haha. Debate.
If you think about it,
that's a funny word.
De-bate.
Thank you.
Pim, I can't do this anymore.
I'm done.
I'm bailing.
All right.
Who was that guy?
What?
Ugh, maybe we should..
Look, I know my brain
don't work no good sometimes,
but what about all
that stuff you told me?
I promise I'll get out there
and try my hardest this time.
Yeah, you're right.
No, I'm left.
Left-handed.
Man, this place is a labyrinth.
How the hell
do I get out of here?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'm just trying
to find my way out of here.
That's okay.
We're just an all-powerful
secret society that
you shouldn't know about.
We're just implementing our
insane secret plan to elect Mr
Frog
through mass
media manipulation.
I knew it. I knew
the voters didn't
actually pick the president.
Yes, and now that you
know our plan,
we're going to cover
you in dirt
and slowly devour you
because we're worms.
No, I'm actually cool with
your guy's plan,
the current guy's
a bonehead.
Oh, really? Cool.
Yeah, Mr Frog's chaos is
exactly what we need to
expand our power. Join us.
Sorry, I can't betray my friend.
He's helping President Jimble.
But I really am a big
fan of Mr Frog, like a huge fan.
I love when he eats the
bug on the show.
He -- He does what?
Yeah, you know,
when he grabs the
bug on the Mr Frog
show and eats it,
it's like his whole thing.
Oh my God!
Aren't we a type of bug?
Wait, stop!
Wait, stop!
Everyone just stop!
Let's just make sure.
Do frogs eat worms?
Yes, yes they do!
Oh my God,
that's TOO much chaos!
We're totally going to
support President Jimble now.
He doesn't eat worms,
he only eats lamb.
Wait, no, no, no, no, no!
Decisions final.
Goodbye.
Good evening. I'm William Worm.
Before we begin, we have
just received word that
Squiggly Miggly will not be
attending tonight's debate
due to the fact he blew his
head off with a 3D printed
shotgun.
We want to remind the
audience to please not,
ah, talk out loud,
do not applaud.
You're just wasting time.
Now, our first question
tonight goes to Mr Frog.
Mr Frog, why are you so evil?
You have one second to respond.
Hello, I think--
Time's up, plus you're wrong.
The next question is for our
beloved and
highly intelligent president.
Why are you so amazing?
You have unlimited time to
respond.
Oh, p-p-presidential
p-p-p-p
policy, I--
I can't do this.
A little pink guy once
told me I needed to
find out what I would
be good at as president.
I've finally figured it out.
I'm the president who
shouldn't have been the
president.
Let's face it, I'm a --
retard.
You know, I always
used to want to,
to win the election
and have people like me,
but I don't care about
that any more now.
I just want to
be honest, and everyone
that trolled me and
gave me nasty messages.
Fuck you!
Fuck off!
JAG-OFF!
Thank you.
That answer
was correct!
JIM-BLE! JIM-BLE! JIM-BLE!
JIM-BLE! JIM-BLE! JIM-BLE!
When do the
results start coming in?
Next few
minutes. I got 10 G's says
Jimble's gonna
win, and if he doesn't--
Then I'll take
matters into my own hands.
Ha ha! I'm just kidding!
I'll do it, though.
I'm just playing, dude.
No, I'm serious.
But no, I'll actually do it.
Hey, Pim, sorry about bailing
the other day, man.
I guess I'm not
really cut out for politics.
No, it's fine, Charlie.
Everything ended up working out.
I don't know if President Jimble
is gonna win, but something
about that debate
really turned things around.
Yeah, well, you know, it kind of
reminds me how Shrimpo Jones
won those debates
by surprise
and went onto
landslide in 1980.
Oh, Charlie, look at you
with the political facts now.
Yeah, well, hey,
man, who knows?
Maybe you're the one
that got me into politics.
Oh, okay, good!
Getting political! I see a
new Charlie! Oooo! Ahh!
I've seen you, Charlie!
Shut up! The
results are coming in.
And now for an election update.
Mr Frog and President Jimble
are in a virtual tie.
The only state yet
to be called is the state
of Pennsylvania
with its 19 electoral votes.
Whoever takes this state
will be our next president.
Oh, my God!
Jimble could really win this!
Uh, breaking.
We're just getting this now.
Ah, the state of
Pennsylvania has just been
called for Mr Frog
by one single vote,
making Mr Frog the
president-elect of the United
States.
Oh, this can't be right.
Don’t look at me, I don’t
know w..
Wait, what?
And we're getting
conf..
the one single vote
was from this guy.
We're putting his name,
face address and
social security number on screen
for our millions of viewers now.
Glep, What the fuck.
Dude? Why?
Well, whatever
I do now is on Glep.
Glep, why would
you vote for Mr Frog?
Our job was to
help President Jimble.
Oh, okay, yeah. Good point.
That makes sense.
That's fair. Yeah, yeah, okay.
This is the life.