The Troop (2009) s02e02 Episode Script

[buzzing sounds]
Excuse me.
Watch where you're going,
Dweeb.
[buzzing sounds]
Here are your options:
You can get beat up
or you can run, get caught,
and then get beat up.
Perhaps there's a third option
you're not thinking of.
Like what?
[buzzing sounds]
[growls]
Just spit-balling, but perhaps
we could use this moment
to become the best of friends,
an unlikely alliance.
I'm pretty good with
the first two options.
But I like you, so--
You'll let me go?
No.
I'm gonna beat you
to a pulp,
but I'm gonna give you
the first shot.
Come on.
Take it.
Could you hold?
No.
[buzzing sounds]
[cheering]
Whooo!!!!!!!
Felix?
Dude, what
just happened?
I justtook
that guy out!
[laughs]
Seriously, what happened?
[crowd chanting]
Felix, Felix!!
Uh-oh, too high, too high!
[crowd chanting]
Felix, Felix!!
[growls]
Way to go!
So, Principal Nuss
yelled at you for fighting?
It was totally worth the blemish
on my permanent record.
I mean, the gifts,
the compliments,
the feeling of
what's the opposite
of shame?
Self-esteem?
Yeah! I think
I've got that.
That's all you have left?!
Tilapia?
But you're out of burgers?
That's 'cause you didn't
think school kids
would go for them?
Yeah, lady, newsflash!
There are a million burger
joints in the world.
But no tilapia joints.
That's because no one
likes tilapia!!!!!!
What's with your girlfriend?
Not my girlfriend.
We've hung out
a couple times.
And clearly she doesn't
like tilapia
and I don't blame her.
Ooo, pudding.
How are ya doing?
Study hard.
Felix, dude.
You sit with us now.
[Girl's voice]:
Come sit with us, Felix.
The V.I.P. table?
What's the big deal
about the V.I.P. table?
It's where the beautiful
and popular eat lunch.
I've only heard tales
about what happens in there.
Heard?
You can see what
goes on in there.
They're eating lunch.
This is it.
It's more beautiful
than I ever imagined.
I'm a foot away
from you.
Give me time.
I'll send for you.
I am popular.
For the first time, students
are throwing food to me
instead of at me.
It's awesome!
Gear up, guys.
We have monster activity.
Hayley, this is
a Husking Drak.
It's a tough one.
I need you to take a lead
on this capture.
Can't someone else lead?
The decorating committee
dumped a thousand Wombats
to assemble
for Wombat Week.
Apparently, I'm
the only one qualified
to glue on googly eyes.
I'm sorry, they're right.
I'm giving you
the Sonic Lash.
So now I'm being punished
for being perfect?
Exhibit A: your model
of the Blorg monster
and Jake's.
Are we still using that or can
I finally eat the candy eyes?
I have a fix on
the husking Drak.
Let's roll, Troop.
Jake, can you please
carry the tracking device?
I'm kind of swamped here.
Fine.
"The Face"
works every time.
The what?
"The Face." When someone
asks me to do anything,
I bust it out and
they leave me alone.
Watch.
You're doing it now?
Yeah.
Now, back to normal.
Now back to "the Face."
It's the same face.
[beeping]
Guys, focus, the husking
Drak is close.
[roar]
That was easy.
Too easy.
Look.
It's only half
a Husking Drak.
Something got
to it first.
[pager beeps]
Oh, shoot, I gotta get back
to decorating the hallways.
Jake, I need you on
forensics so we can find out
what we're up against.
Okay, fine!
Felix, you do it.
Wha??
[chuckles]
It's the same face!
Hey, watch where
you're going!
Those are for the fund-raiser,
you know!
It's like you don't even care
if the twirling team
has new batons!
It's very much
like I don't.
Good luck with that.
That'll be fifty cents.
Good luck with that too.
You know, you've had
a bad attitude
ever since you got here.
What is your problem?!
Right now, you!!!
Oh, no, no, no.
You better back off.
Don't you dare--
I spent all night
making that.
Now you'll spend all night
washing it out of your hair.
What is going on here?!
Leave me alone!
Stop it!
Do we have a problem here?
Students of Lakewood!
The time of picking on
the weak and socially
challenged is over!
Never again will your
underwear be lifted
past your rib cage;
never again will you be forced
to wear a "Kick Me" sign
behind your back
unless you want to!
Yes!
The fear stops here!
[cheering and applause]
So shall we dance?
[cheering and applause]
Come on, Princess,
take a seat.
No one here's
going to bite you.
Actually, he might.
[growls]
I can take care
of myself.
Oooh.
Tough talk coming
from a girl
who's obviously
never been to detention.
You need me to get you
a little disinfecting wipe
for the chair.
You have wipes?
Ha ha, very funny.
Almost as funny as when I shoved
that éclair up your nose.
Although it sounded more
like crying than laughing.
Look who's talking.
[Mimicking Hayley]:
I'm Hayley.
A fritter scratched
my cornea.
Boo-hoo.
Just remember--
there are more fritters
where that came from.
Bring it!
If you want to go,
let's go!
What are you doing?
I'm not afraid of you
or your pleather jacket.
I told you I could
take care of myself.
Huh.
Maybe there's more to you
than a little stuck-up,
goody-goody, A-minus,
cheerleader than I thought.
A plus, thank you.
Maybe there's more to you
than the straight-to-prison,
leather-wearing degenerate
than I thought.
You said I wore pleather.
I did.
But I was mad at you and
took it out on your jacket.
Sorry.
Thanks.
You know it's
hard sometimes--
being a strong girl.
Everybody is so quick
to judge.
No Joke.
Just because I never back down
from a fight
doesn't mean I don't
get scared.
Just because I'm smart,
doesn't mean I know
every answer.
It's hard being strong,
smart, sensitive
and stunningly beautiful.
That's really sweet.
I was talking about me.
Oh.
But you're okay
for second place.
[laughs]
I was gonna meet some friends
at Hannigan's later,
you wanna come?
Uh maybe another time,
Princess.
I've got somestuff
I gotta do.
But seriously, you tell anyone
about this conversation,
you'll spend the rest
of your life
breathing through
a fritter.
[growling and snarling]
Man, this Husking Drak
is a mess!
Did you guys do this?
No, that's how
we found it.
I thought I'd take
a little break
from delivering justice
to the people
and check in on my team.
You know, you blew me off
at fifth period again.
And I apologize
for that.
I was gonna tell you
after fifth period,
but then I blew it off.
Why? Because I am mentally
preparing myself
for my total annihilation
of Buddy Tampkin.
The kid who has stayed back
six years?!
Kid?
He's voted for
two presidents!
Bad student,
great citizen.
His bark is worse
than his bite.
Except for that time
he bit a dog.
Felix, you can't
do this.
He'll destroy you.
Wow, couch it a little
next time
to protect his ego.
I was.
I'm going to put an end to his
noogie-filled reign of terror.
Because when trouble
comes calling,
Felix is there to serve up
justice
Hot, buttered justice.
Hot buttered
Hey, Mugsy.
I'll have the Family
Super Sundae Celebration,
extra fudge.
The bananas aren't going
to split themselves.
Go.
How many people
is that for?
Just me.
Want me to order
you one?
No.
Wild night on the town,
Princess?
Doing some
extra credit work.
But I'm plenty fun.
When it's not a school night,
or weekends
because that's when I do
my volunteer work.
What about boys?
Nobody worth mentioning.
Not even Jake?
Jake?
No, we're just friends.
But we're good friends.
Yeah, it must be nice to have
someone who really gets you.
Hey Hayley, a bunch of us are
going over to Shane's tonight,
you coming?
Sounds fun actually.
Cadence, would you
wanna come?
Hayley, a minute?
What are you doing
inviting Cadence anywhere?
She's a total skeeze.
Know what, Roxanne?
You need to stop
judging people
before you open up
your big mouth.
because it's mean, rude
and quite frankly,
you need a breath mint.
We'll deal with this
at cheer practice.
I bet.
Come on.
Thanks, prom queen.
She had it coming.
Wow.
I know.
What a rip off.
If we're lucky,
one of the security
cameras around the school
might have a shot
of the monster
that was feeding
on the Drak.
Hey, Felix,
it's your fight
where you broke
Alejandro's collarbone.
Oh, such wonderful memories.
Did you see that?
Play it back
in slow motion.
A Blood Thrasher!
You didn't knock out
Alejandro Rosenbaum.
The monster did.
I can't believe it.
Sorry, Buddy.
But at least you know before
you got yourself hurt.
What am I going to do?
What am I going to do?
All of my fans are expecting
me to stand up to this guy?
There are lots of kinds
of brave.
And sometimes maybe
the bravest thing to do
is change your name, undergo
some minor facial surgery
and move to Detroit.
How is that brave?
Have you been to Detroit?
If the Blood Thrasher
eats monsters,
let's give it one.
Sorry, Venomous Trog.
I feel bad for
the little guy.
This monster?
No, Felix who's got
to clean this cage.
It's a mess.
What the?!!!!
Jake, down!
[roar]
[loud roars]
[loud roars]
You okay?
What was that?
I have no idea.
You don't have to hide,
Felix.
It's not a big deal.
Going from hero to coward
is a big deal.
You're totally my hero.
You think the skateboarding
squirrel
from the internet
is a hero,
so it kind of loses meaning.
This thing must
be broken.
It's going off
for no reason.
No reason
I'll be right back.
[laughs]
You're thinking about
the skateboarding squirrel,
aren't you?
Maybe.
It's not just
the squirrel,
he's more human
than you or me.
Come on, Jake.
Buddy Tampkin.
Let's bolt before
he sees us.
No.
I have to do something.
Are you nuts?
Look at the guy.
He's like a soda machine
with feet.
He'll probably
pummel me,
but if I don't stand up
for all of the tortured students
of Lakewood, no one will.
It's time to man up.
Now hold my bag of
moisturizers and bath salts.
Release the underpants,
Buddy.
What are you gonna do
about it?
This.
[laughter]
Okay, wrong shirt,
but it doesn't matter.
I have to try to stop injustice
when I see it.
So, injustice is here.
Stop me.
You can do it, Felix.
You just have to find the
strength inside yourself
you never knew you had.
Dude, I was totally bluffing!
I already called
an ambulance.
I'm a real hero!
I'll never be afraid again.
He's up!
What?!!!
Ahhhhh!!!!!!
Cadence, have you seen
anything unusual!
Eating a Festering Harpie,
I'll take that as a yes.
We can talk about this.
What are we gonna
talk about?
I'm half a monster and
you're a monster hunter
and there's nothing either
of us can do about that.
Maybe there's
something we can do
so you can control
your monster side.
You think I haven't tried?!
You think I like living
like an animal?
Never fitting
in either world?
Always having to hide under
the burden of all of this?
I understand.
We both have to live
with our secrets.
Yeah, but you don't have
to live with this:
[loud roars]
Felix, Jake, I need backup!
I found the Blood Thrasher.
[roars]
Cadence, it doesn't have
to be like this.
[loud roars]
Okay, maybe it does.
[laser fire]
[loud roars]
Have no fear.
Felix the Conqueror and
his little friend are here!
I'm bigger than you!
[laser fire]
Get ready for some
hot buttered--
Okay, let's make this
a fair fight.
[laser fire]
[small growls]
Just go.
[loud roar]
I got it!
You got the monster?
Yeah, she disintegrated
when I blasted her.
How'd you know it was
a she?
Ium.
Are you guys okay?
Well, we're in a dumpster,
so not terrific.
Hey Felix, we saved
a seat for ya.
You should go.
You earned it.
I think I'll sit with
my friends from now on.
You sure about this?
You two are the bestest
I've ever--
Oh, my gosh, are
those cupcakes!!!
I'll be right back
in a sec.