Wednesday (2022) s02e02 Episode Script

1
[fraught, suspenseful music playing]
[Enid] Wednesday, hurry!
This is all your fault.
[echoing] Wednesday
[murder cawing]
Wednesday
I died because of you!
- [music fades]
- Enid!
[Morticia] Enid's fine, dear.
It's you I'm worried about.
Mother.
When it comes to your ability,
I asked you to be honest with me.
I know what those tears mean.
It's psychic exhaustion.
That's what happens
when you abuse your gift.
I've harnessed it.
[scoffs] You sound just like your aunt.
How do I get the tears to go away?
Well you can start
by giving me Goody's book of spells.
Don't be upset with him.
He was worried sick.
As was I.
Goody was my spirit guide.
That book belongs to me.
This isn't something you can control.
You have to be patient
and wait for your new guide.
They will appear when the time is right.
I don't have that time.
Not after tonight.
You never believe the rules apply to you.
And I applaud that.
But you cannot bend
your psychic ability to your will.
And you can't expect me to bend to yours.
You cannot tell me to blaze my own trail
and then put up these roadblocks.
I am not your enemy.
I am your mother.
Your ability is not
a weapon to be deployed.
It's a gift to be respected.
I liked you better a crystal ball away.
Well, one day I won't be here anymore.
And you can recklessly
live your life as you see fit.
You were supposed to help me protect her.
Most of all, from herself.
[ominous music playing]
[Wednesday]
Galpin's warning, Xavier's painting,
and my vision of Enid's death
they all have a certain one-eyed,
black-winged bird in common.
Lurch?
We need to make a stop.
[Lurch growls]
[eerie, mysterious music playing]
[Wednesday] Galpin!
How can it be breaking and entering
if everything is already broken?
Galpin?
I know you're lurking somewhere
in this suburban squalor.
I don't have time
for your drunken stupors.
I need you to tell me about your case.
[jarring stinger]
[cawing]
[caws]
[caws]
Murdered by a murder of crows.
What a perfectly ironic death wasted
on the least ironic man I ever met.
Let's see if he can finally offer
some useful investigative insight.
It's my only clue to saving Enid.
[staticky audio distortions]
I'm not seeing anything.
[staticky audio distortions continue]
My ability.
- It's not working.
- [sirens wailing]
[agitated chatter outside]
Freeze!
Wednesday Addams, you're under arrest.
[jauntily macabre music playing]
- What were you doing at Galpin's house?
- He asked me to stop by.
In the middle of the night?
What were you doing there, Sheriff?
Turns out, the last person
to have his eyes pecked out
called Galpin right before he died.
You remember him?
Carl Bradbury?
I wanted to know what they had discussed,
but Galpin wasn't answering his cell.
A phone that has since vanished.
There was no trace
when we searched Galpin's house.
You wouldn't know anything about that?
[Wednesday] I didn't take his phone.
And why are you questioning me?
Galpin's son, Tyler,
is a psychopath who hates his father.
Who's to say he didn't orchestrate this?
Tyler's safely locked
away at Willow Hill.
And you were at both crime scenes.
What aren't you telling me, Ms. Addams?
Volumes, no doubt.
You could dangle her
over a pit of rattlesnakes,
and she still wouldn't
tell you her secrets.
- [rattlesnakes buzz]
- Trust me, I've tried.
I'm allowed to question your daughter,
Mr. Addams.
You can sit back there, quietly.
I'm also her lawyer.
And I don't do anything quietly.
If you wish to speak to my client again,
you'll need a court order.
[sprightly, whimsical music playing]
[whispers] Have a good night.
I was fixing my nightcap
when Lurch burst in.
Almost choked on my olive.
I've never seen the old boy so agitated.
[Lurch growls]
And Mother?
Hmm. This stays between us.
To Galpin.
[Gomez smacks lips, sighs]
Why were you at his house?
Are you asking as my lawyer
or as my father?
I can recognize when a fellow card player
is keeping some aces up their sleeve.
I respect that.
But bluffing only gets you so far.
I saw Galpin yesterday.
He was working on a case,
asked for my help.
You get your reckless curiosity from me.
That's why your mother's
so worried about you.
You need to pack her trunks
and take her back home.
I'm afraid her mind is made up.
She's staying.
Trust me.
That casket is closed.
What happened to Aunt Ophelia?
That, my little poison pen
is not my story to tell.
[music trails off]
You weren't there
at lights out last night.
Don't worry, I didn't tell Ajax.
What were you doing in the Hummers Shed?
Tell me you weren't
eating my bees like your creepy uncle.
I know you and I aren't exactly friends,
but can you keep a secret?
I swear, if even one of my bees
is missing, I'm telling Wedn
[chains rattling]
Down, boy!
[inhaler puffs]
[gasps]
What is that?
The coolest thing ever!
Now we have a pet and a best friend!
Watch this. It gets cooler.
Remember that story
Ajax told us the first night here?
It's all true.
I jump-started his clockwork heart
and brought him back to life.
This really is
the boy from the Skull Tree.
He's not an urban legend.
He was one of us.
Which is why we should
keep him locked up in here forever.
I don't think that's a very safe idea.
Or a sanitary one.
We need to tell someone
before he eats us.
He won't.
Besides, he's got no brain.
Which means he's as harmless as a slug.
[snarls]
[Eugene yelps]
He is hungry, though.
What about honey?
It's nature's perfect food.
Uh, antioxidant, antibacterial,
low glycemic index.
See? He likes it.
[raspy gurgling]
[Eugene spits]
I think I'm going to call him Slurp.
I don't know what's been happening
with my psychic ability lately.
There must be an answer in Goody's book.
In my last vision,
Enid dies and it's all my fault.
Somehow it's connected to those birds.
No one else can know about this.
Especially Enid. She's far too fragile
to face her own impending doom.
[chilling music intensifying]
Enid?
Enid!
Thing, get help!
[restrained snickering]
[content giggling]
[self-satisfied sigh]
Mmm.
Blood and orange jam. My favorite.
Got ya! Happy Prank Day!
[tersely] Prank Day?
It's an annual Nevermore tradition.
You hadn't arrived last year
when we did it. [sighs]
The look on your face
when you thought I was dead,
that was priceless.
I'll carry that memory to my grave.
You might end up there
sooner than you think.
I was just getting you back
for that fake eyeball on my pillow.
What fake eyeball?
[grim, foreboding music playing]
I'd recognize this judgmental,
beady blue-eye stare anywhere.
Ugh, it's so real looking.
Where'd you get it?
A little birdie must have dropped it off.
Are we going to talk about
what happened last night at the pyre?
You freaked me out
with the fainting spell and black tears.
I'm fine.
If you were, Lurch wouldn't
have had to carry you out of there.
For someone who hates
being the center of attention,
you have a weird habit of attracting it.
I'd rather attract leprosy.
I know that being popular goes against
everything Wednesday-core,
but for the rest of us
who also helped save the school,
it is a nice silver lining.
Then consider me your dark cloud.
- Always.
- [phone chimes persistently]
Um, I think your stalker's back,
and they somehow have my cell number.
Call that number back.
[line ringing]
[Galpin] Hey, it's Donovan Galpin.
Leave it at the beep.
Why is Galpin stalking you on my phone?
And why were you at his house?
This isn't Galpin. He was murdered.
- This must be his killer.
- What?
Are you pranking me now?
[pants] I cannot believe
it's only day two of the school year,
and you already involved yourself
in some grisly murder case.
Maybe you're cursed.
I feel really bad about Galpin,
but I didn't even know him that well.
If you could leave me out of this,
that would be great.
This is my fun and freedom era.
I've sworn off
all dead bodies this semester.
This is why you should stay in the dorm
with Thing until I figure this out.
You're the one being stalked by a killer.
I have sharp teeth and claws, remember?
Also, I have my first
driver's ed lesson this afternoon.
You're learning to drive?
Not all of us have chauffeurs.
[cheeky, whimsical music playing]
[door opens, closes]
[grim music continues]
[audio distortion whooshes]
[music intensifies]
[music trails off]
Stay here. Study Goody's book.
Look for anything
about regaining abilities.
["You Really Got Me"
by the Kinks playing]
[students clamoring boisterously]
[rowdy garage rock continues]
Girl, you really got me goin' ♪
You got me
So I don't know what I'm doin' ♪
Yeah, you really got me now ♪
[Ajax chuckles]
You got me so I can't sleep at night ♪
Yeah, you really got me now ♪
Hey!
Look at her face!
Oh yeah, you really got me now ♪
You got me so I can't sleep at night ♪
You really got me ♪
You really got me ♪
You really got me ♪
You know the best medicine
for a broken heart?
Prank Day revenge,
courtesy of my very own
flying bloodsuckers.
Sumatran Tiger Fleas.
You got me so I can't sleep at night ♪
You really got me now ♪
[swarm's buzzing drowns out audio]
[Bruno yelping]
- [yelping]
- Bruno!
Hey. Thanks, guys.
Hey, and, uh
Happy Prank Day.
Whoa! Whoa!
You got me so I can't sleep at night
You really got me, you really got me ♪
[Ajax yelling]
[song trails off]
Ah!
[Dort laughs] Look at that, Orloff.
[chuckling] Isn't it glorious?
Oh, unadulterated Outcast spirit!
Makes my soul sing.
I detest Prank Day.
Last year, someone put eels in my jar.
It's Wednesday.
[Dort] Oh, I must say, Ms. Addams,
you certainly know
how to play to a crowd.
Burning the portrait
totally caught me off guard.
I assumed you'd be humiliated.
Are you kidding me? I loved it.
Acts of defiance
are what make us Outcasts.
Right, Dr. Orloff?
One quick question before you go.
Are you aware of any student
or member of staff who can control birds?
You mean an Avian?
Why do you ask?
I'm working on a project
about underrepresented Outcasts.
We haven't had
an Avian enrolled for at least
ten years.
Well, have fun.
[music trails off]
[elegant opera music playing faintly]
[Bianca] I love what you've done
with the place.
[Morticia] Thank you.
Where did you find those?
From an expedition Gomez's Uncle Vasco
led in the Peruvian rainforest.
That's Uncle Vasco on the left.
Nothing like family
to make a house feel like a home.
Thank you, Lurch.
Principal Dort was so excited
you accepted the gala chair,
he wanted me to bring
these straight over.
It's a list of potential donors.
[chuckles softly]
Needless to say, my daughter
is not happy that I'm staying.
Well, is Wednesday
ever happy about anything?
- Mmm.
- [laughs]
No, she's lucky to have a mom
who's so concerned about her.
You and your mother aren't close?
We spent time together this summer, um
digging out from under all her decisions.
[Morticia] Hmm.
Perhaps that's why the spirits
have brought us together.
I understand that need to prove yourself,
especially with a complicated mother.
I've always admired your mom.
[Morticia] Mmm.
How she built Frump Mortuaries
into one of the most successful
Outcast-owned businesses in the country.
I'd love to do something like that.
Mama was always better
with the dead than she was the living.
Well, I think Principal Dort was hoping
you would reach out to her
for a large donation.
[Morticia chuckles wryly]
Ah, the last poor soul who asked Mama
for a donation died of fright.
She sent him home
in a casket along with the bill.
Cookie?
I shouldn't.
Oh.
[crunching]
He's still here.
[Eugene] I don't know
if it's the smell of rotting flesh
or the after-effects of that
ungrateful gorgon stoning us
that's making me nauseous.
All this excitement's making me hungry.
What is that?
Mystery meat sandwich.
From the cafeteria.
[Eugene] Nobody actually eats those.
The meat's made from
ground up chicken brains and pig butts.
- [raspy growls]
- [Pugsley] I think it's tasty.
It reminds me
of my Uncle Fester's Romanian goulash.
- [Eugene] Eugh.
- Said he makes it with real ghouls.
He likes it too. Good Slurp.
No surprise.
That stuff's not made for the living.
We're gonna be late for class.
Don't worry, boy.
After dinner, we'll come back
with a backpack of mystery meat.
[growls]
[snarling]
[suspenseful music playing]
[bellows]
[music trails off]
Watch Enid.
I need to question
Tyler about his father.
I'm going to go visit
the Hyde in his backwater bell jar.
You haven't seen me.
Got it?
- Got a ride.
- [Enid] Just a sec! Forgot something.
They're not gonna
let me drive without it!
Thing? I'm running late.
Have you seen my
driver's ed consent form?
I swear, I left it right here.
- [sighs]
- [whimsical music playing]
Mrs. Addams! Hi!
Uh, Wednesday's not here.
That's all right, dear.
I'm sure Thing can help me
find what I'm looking for.
Goody's book.
Pass it over.
[rusty squeaking]
- Enid Sinclair?
- [hazard indicator beeping]
All right, uh, get in.
[grunts]
[instructor, primly] Seatbelt.
Okay, here at 3rd Wheel Driving,
we respect the vehicle,
the other drivers, and the road.
Do you have
any previous driving experience?
Video games don't count.
[groovy haunting rock music playing]
Punch it, toots!
[music halts]
My uncle used to let me sit
behind the wheel while we ran errands.
[chuckling] Sure.
Okay.
I want you to imagine
the wheel as a clock face.
You're going to put your hands
at 10:00 and 2:00.
Mmm.
Now with your right hand,
shift into drive.
Now, take your time. You're a newbie.
Nerves are perfectly normal.
Always remember, caution is your friend.
[engine revving]
[brakes screech]
We also respect the speed limit.
I'm the captain of this ship, young lady.
- [chortling]
- [growling in distance]
[Slurp growls]
[eerie music playing]
[instructor scoffs]
This school gets weirder every year.
["Dies Irae"
from Verdi's "Requiem" playing]
[sweeping, dramatic opera music playing]
I'm the captain now.
[shrieks]
[music subsides]
She's had Goody's spell book all summer,
and you never thought
to bring it to my attention?
Gomez and I sent you here to make sure
that she didn't succumb
to her own worst instincts.
Where is your loyalty to us?
Of course you are a
member of this family.
Just because I'm cross with you
doesn't diminish that.
Stop treating you like a servant?
When have we ever done that?
[lush, gloomy music playing]
[Morticia] Thing. Dim the lights!
Mmm.
Thing. Top me off, old boy.
Don't be stingy this time.
Little more.
Little more. More, more, more
Stop, stop, stop! What're you doing?
Hold still, boy.
Ooh!
Sorry, old boy!
I admit, perhaps there may have
been times when we overstepped.
I'm so sorry we depend
on your steady hand so much.
Don't take my poor relationship
with Wednesday out on you?
It's not poor!
It's fraught.
[car alarm beeping rapidly]
[tires screech]
[roof ornament squeaking]
[instructor whimpering]
I look forward to our next lesson.
[foreboding music playing]
I'm here to see Tyler Galpin.
[chuckles dryly] Hey, Ross, check it out.
Another one of those weirdo fangirls
who's got the hots for the Hyde.
Quit wasting our time,
and find something else to obsess over.
You know, like, uh, boy bands or puppies.
Call your supervisors and tell them
Wednesday Addams is here.
That's Addams with two Ds,
like "padded room."
[administrator] Jellybean?
I'm impressed.
As a stickler for proper form etiquette,
you have left no box unchecked.
This isn't my first time
with the criminally insane.
When can I see Tyler?
Ah, hold those pigtails.
Dr. Fairburn will need to make that call.
Is that Tyler's handler?
Handler?
We're not a zoo.
You're right. Zoos don't pretend
that animals can change their nature
with electroshock therapy
and daily drug cocktails.
Dr. Fairburn is the chief psychiatrist,
and a pioneer in the field
of Outcast mental health.
I have her book here somewhere.
Her book
Unlocking the Outcast Mind.
It's required reading
in medical schools around the country.
She even inscribed it.
Is Dr. Fairburn an Outcast?
No. Why does that matter?
It's like a vegetarian
writing a book on cannibalism.
- Always been skeptical of psychiatrists.
- [unknown voice] Me too.
[mysterious, uneasy music playing]
Hello, Wednesday.
I'm Dr. Fairburn.
Tyler has spoken of you often.
I hope my name
leaves a bad taste in his mouth.
Thank you, Judi.
Walk with me.
Why do you want to see Tyler?
To parrot my former psychiatrist,
who Tyler gutted
like a freshly caught trout,
I need closure.
I granted your request
with the court weeks ago,
so I knew you'd
show your face sooner or later.
I'm guessing you chose today
because of Donovan Galpin's murder.
Has Tyler heard the news?
Tyler has proven to be a particularly
manipulative and uncooperative patient.
Of course,
I've never dealt with a Hyde before,
so this is uncharted territory.
What about Marilyn Thornhill?
She still denies
that she's Tyler's master.
She's being held in a different facility.
I'm working off the theory
that the longer they're separated,
the weaker their bond becomes.
Then I surmise you and I are speaking
because you need my help.
My traditional care methods
aren't yielding results,
so I think it's time to be
unorthodox.
Well, you know what they say.
If you can't kill them with kindness,
try lethal injection.
This way.
You could be
the psychological shock Tyler needs
to initiate his rehabilitation.
If the sight of me brings him
any modicum of pain, count me in.
[keypad beeping]
Now, you'll be perfectly safe,
but if you feel threatened
or uncomfortable in any way,
push the red button on the wall.
I'll be watching everything
on the monitor.
Keep a close watch, please.
So, what do you think of the place?
It was originally designed
for a schizophrenic werewolf,
who went on a full-moon killing spree
in the summer of '92.
Ironic, considering
you were thrashed by a werewolf.
It was inevitable your morbid curiosity
would bring you here.
I knew you couldn't resist
seeing me again.
Is that the deluded lie
you've been telling yourself in solitude?
The only person lying
to themselves is you, Wednesday.
You sensed the monster in me.
You fell in love with it.
We're two black-hearted souls
ready to pillage the world together.
The only thing you're pillaging
is an extra fruit cup at dinner.
You act like you're the smartest person
in the room, but you're not.
How come I ended up
on this side of the bars?
Because you got lucky.
- [trills]
- [electricity crackles]
Your father is dead.
He was murdered last night.
[chuckles wryly]
How was he killed?
[Wednesday] Gruesomely.
Another victim died the same way.
Your father's old partner. Carl Bradbury.
Two murders in two days.
Both connected to your family.
You got me, Wednesday.
I'm a criminal mastermind
pulling the strings from in here.
Who else would want him dead?
You're looking for my help?
I'm flattered, but
it's going to be so much more fun
watching you grope around in the dark.
Say hi to Enid for me.
Tell her I'm gonna kill her
the next time I see her.
Make her pay for sticking
her snout in my business.
I want her screams to haunt you
for the rest of your life.
[Wednesday] You're right.
I couldn't resist seeing you.
Witnessing you chained and caged up
makes my dark heart grin.
Thornhill chose you to be
her murderous marionette,
not just because she saw
some Hyde hibernating inside you,
but because she saw the real you.
An expendable nobody.
A feeble-minded schoolyard bully
with nothing to offer to the world
except for subpar barista skills.
Your fleeting moment of notoriety will
fade quicker than your generic looks.
Thinking of you rotting away in this cell
in anonymous mediocrity, that
is the best revenge.
[feral growling]
- [Tyler screams]
- [electricity sparks]
I don't need to visit again.
[Tyler panting]
I already take up enough space
in your twisted head.
[bellows]
[Tyler's bellow echoing]
[Orloff] The human brain
is the hungriest organ in the body,
consuming 20%
Who did that?
Go on!
Speak up!
[yelps]
[class snickering]
Listen up, people.
- [Eugene] Psst.
- Unless the perpetrator reveals
We've got a problem. Come on.
[Orloff] you'll be spending
the rest of the semester in detention.
I'm watching you two.
[frantic, suspenseful music playing]
[Pugsley] What?
Your pet zombie, Slurp,
he's escaped.
[Bruno] So you didn't have
your driving lesson?
[Enid] Nope. He was a no-show.
So, want to study
for Orloff's anatomy test?
- He may be a head in a jar, but
- Yeah.
[indistinct chatter]
[Enid chuckles]
[Enid] How'd that get in here?
It's for Thing.
Thing?
[ragged breathing]
[Enid] Anyone home?
Thing? Have you been drinking?
How is that even
You know what? It doesn't matter.
Could you just give us a second?
- Yeah.
- Thank you.
[whispers] Thing. You've got a package.
I don't know if maybe it's for Prank Day,
or maybe it's from Wednesday's stalker.
[quirky, eccentric music playing]
It's your mugshot from
the Normal, Illinois police department.
There's a town called Normal?
Who's Fernando Fingertips?
Your first alias?
Yeah, it is very catchy.
"Found this while cleaning out
an old safe house."
"Happy birthday
to my buddy from another body."
"Snickers and wet willies,
your partner in crime, Fester."
Thing! Is it your birthday?
No, Wednesday didn't tell me!
Did the entire Addams family
forget it was your birthday?
I'm really sorry. You know what?
You are an honorary member
of the Wolf Pack.
Why don't we take you out tonight
to celebrate?
[thud]
Bruno! Oh my God, oh my God!
- What happened? Are you
- [thud, clattering]
[knocking at door]
Yes?
Do you have an update on Mrs. Addams?
I gave her the donor list.
She's going through the names,
and we'll meet at the end of the week
to discuss strategy.
And you drew her attention
to numero uno on that list?
Unfortunately,
she and her mother are estranged.
How estranged?
She refuses to call her.
Hester Frump is the linchpin
to this whole campaign.
She is the 50-foot shark
that will signal the other big fish
that Nevermore is worth preserving.
Why don't you have
that conversation with Mrs. Addams?
Because you can be
so much more persuasive.
You're not seriously asking me
to siren song her?
Of course not.
I'm ordering you.
You will never try and coerce me again.
[Bianca sighs in relief]
Nice try, Ms. Barclay.
Yeah.
[clicks tongue]
Little souvenir I picked up in
a dinky antique shop in the Florida Keys.
It's beautiful, isn't it?
Oh, and this here is made up
of itty-bitty pieces of Corinthian coral,
making me impervious to your siren song.
I keep it on me at all times.
[Dort clears throat]
You see, the key to winning
in both golf and life
is keeping your eye on the ball.
So let me help you focus.
We both know
that I hold your future in my hand.
I could either lift you
up or crush you.
Understood?
Now use your gift
and get Morticia Addams
and her beloved mother on our side.
[door closes]
[grim music playing]
[muffled thumping, rattling]
Thing?
[frantic music fluttering]
Wait, where's Enid?
[phone vibrating]
[mysterious voice]
Do I have your attention?
Who are you, and where's Enid?
The game has just begun.
You have 30 minutes
to find your werewolf friend,
or I put her down.
Involve anyone else, and game over.
I am watching.
Tick tock, Ms. Addams.
[tense music building]
[eerie, distressing music playing]
[breathing shakily]
Bruno!
Bruno!
Are you okay?
Enid
Where are we?
I think we're in Iago Tower.
Doesn't look like anyone's
been up here in a long time.
They closed it off years ago after it was
damaged in some freak electrical storm.
[Enid strains, struggles]
Who would do this to us?
Okay, Ajax!
Great prank! Now let us go.
Ajax?
[metallic clang]
[distressing music intensifies]
I don't think this is a prank.
[frantic, suspenseful music playing]
[Capri] Wednesday,
what are you doing out here?
[Wednesday] Looking for my roommate.
[Capri] That's a coincidence.
I've been looking for you.
I'm putting together
an orchestra for the gala.
- I'd like you to play cello.
- I don't have time for this right now.
And besides, when you heard me play,
you were hardly complimentary.
Oh, come on. All I was saying was
if you want to be great,
let the music control you.
Otherwise, you'll just be
playing the notes.
Mechanical.
Rehearsal 3:00 p.m. Friday.
I hope to see you there.
These aren't letters.
They're notes.
The heart is an organ.
- D-E-A-D.
- [notes ringing out]
I'll try them together.
[ominous chord surges]
[gears clanking]
Let's go.
[Enid] If only there was a full moon,
we'd be out of here in no time.
I'm really sorry, Bruno.
This isn't your fault.
[sighs] I mean, it kind of is.
Whatever's going on here
is clearly connected to my roommate.
She's like this dark north star
for psycho killers.
Why are you friends with her?
Because even though Wednesday
is literally the tunnel
at the end of my light
[delicate, emotional music playing]
I can't imagine my life
without her in it.
I think it's cool
how you're her ride or die.
Emphasis on die at the moment.
[Bruno chuckles softly]
I wish I had someone like that.
We have to find a way to get out of here.
We can't break these chains,
but maybe we could wriggle out
if we find the right angle.
[Enid muttering indistinctly]
- Your shoulder.
- Get your feet around.
I thought you put
new batteries in this thing.
Does this look fully powered to you?
[chilling music playing]
[jolting stinger]
This is Iago Tower.
Come on.
- Sorry, can you just Wait. No
- Just your shoulder
[both breathing heavily]
- [Enid chuckles]
- Hey.
- Hey.
- That didn't work.
[claws clattering]
Are you okay?
I'm fine.
This happens sometimes
when I'm stressed or nervous.
It's just wolf whimpers.
Lupin late bloomers
usually suffer from it.
I was the last in my family to wolf out.
No way.
Me too.
I had the nervous claw thing too.
- Have you tried box breathing?
- [whispers] No.
[inhales deeply]
Four counts in.
Four holding.
Four out.
[delicate, emotional music continues]
[foreboding music building]
Enid!
Wednesday! Oh, thank God!
You need to get us out of this!
Thing, pick their locks.
[Enid shrieks]
Thing, watch out!
Thing! You okay?
[rattling overhead]
Wednesday!
Where are you going?
[perilous music escalating]
[Wednesday] "What don't you see?"
[Enid] Oh my God! Oh my God!
[Wednesday] Poe, Dante,
Shelley, Dickens
Wednesday, you need to hurry!
Each stack is the collected work
of a famous author.
[Enid yelps] Wednesday!
[Wednesday] Proust, Tolstoy
The answer must be a book that's missing.
[Enid] I swear if I survive this,
I'm demanding a spa day!
Wells
- Baby-Sitter's Club?
- How many are in that one?
- 131.
- [Enid] Dammit. That's all of them.
- Unless you're counting graphic novels
- Enough, Enid.
[panicked breathing]
But what you don't see
Of course!
The Invisible Man by H.G. Wells!
[Bruno] Hey!
Wednesday, time's up!
- [keys clacking]
- [typewriter dings]
[clanking slows, halts]
[Enid and Bruno panting]
Wednesday, you did it!
[Wednesday sighs]
[slow, measured clapping]
Who's there?
Happy Prank Day, Wednesday.
My crazed stalker
is an invisible 13-year-old?
[eerie, unsettling music playing]
[stalker] We haven't been
properly introduced.
I'm Agnes DeMille,
your number one superfan.
You don't seriously expect me to believe
you pulled off this elaborate prank solo.
I had a little help from some DaVincis.
After I blackmailed them
with incriminating Snapchat pics.
Perks of being invisible.
I just asked myself, W-W-W
D.
What would Wednesday do?
That's my line, you little psycho!
I knew if I came up with the most
twisted game, I'd get your attention.
I hope it's lived up
to your exacting standards.
Admit it, you're a little impressed.
I can't believe we were almost
perforated by your fangirl mini-me.
Why don't I return the favor?
Park your claws, Rainbow Barbie.
Besides, I got you some alone time
with the pack hottie. You're welcome.
You almost burned my novel
at the Founder's Pyre.
[Agnes] That was just an appetizer.
This was the main course.
Then why kill Galpin
and place his eyeball on Enid's cushion?
That eyeball was real?
I didn't kill Galpin.
I wanted to become your friend.
Not your next murder case.
Took this as a souvenir.
I already scrolled through his texts.
And his e-mails.
So if you didn't kill him, then who did?
I can help you find out.
[chuckles]
Only Wednesday Addams
would have multiple stalkers.
Room for one more?
Wannabes take the stairs.
[thunder rumbling]
[Morticia] Bianca!
What a surprise. Please, come on in.
Did you forget something, dear?
Actually, I did.
You must contact your mother,
invite her to the gala,
and secure a large donation.
She is your highest priority.
Yes.
That's it.
Mama.
I should call her.
You'll have no memory I was here,
Mrs. Addams.
Good night.
[thumping]
I forgot your birthday.
And that's inexcusable.
I hope this makes up for my memory lapse.
It's an antique thumbscrew.
Napoleonic era.
Designed by Anatole Deibler,
France's most notorious torturer.
I'm willing to be your first victim.
I'm concerned about Enid too.
Unmasking my flame-haired stalker
was an unwelcome distraction.
If I'm able to regain my psychic ability,
I think I'll be able to save Enid
and figure out
who killed Galpin and Bradbury.
Let's take another look at Goody's book.
Did you find any answers in there?
Where is it?
My mother took my book?
[Slurp gurgling]
[Dort on phone]
You've reached Principal Dort.
I'm unavailable, but don't panic.
Leave a message,
and I'll get right back to you.
- Always remember, Nevermore 4evermore.
- [voicemail beeps]
This is Gabe Packard.
I'm informing you that I am no longer
teaching Nevermore students.
Enid Sinclair has
pushed me over the edge.
[gasps]
[chilling music playing]
[sputtering]
[car beeping]
[chilling music oscillating]
What?
[jolting stinger]
[screaming]
[Slurp snarls]
[music trails off]
[jauntily macabre outro music playing]