Your Friends & Neighbors (2025) s02e02 Episode Script

1
Back when I was
working at Bailey Russell,
I would start rolling calls
at 7:30 in the morning.
One of the perks of being a thief
was that there was no one to call.
And now, for the first time in my life,
I had more empty hours
than I knew what to do with.
You're good.
It was quiet.
And I had never done well with quiet.
I've never seen peeping Tom.
- Ben.
- You'd love it, Ben. You're the peeper.
Let me tell you
- what the basic premise of this movie is.
- Please.
It's a guy who's obsessed
with the look on people's faces
when they know they're about to die.
He's a cameraman, and he builds a
blade into one of the legs of his tripod.
Mel used to complain that I
was never present in my own life.
And with all this free
time, I somehow still wasn't.
You're late.
Sorry.
Is that a bacon?
It's a print.
So, you're processing hundreds
of thousands' worth of merchandise.
How do you convert it?
I have a guy. A fence.
And you trust him?
To a point, yeah.
It's not like I can put
my business up for bid.
- I should meet him.
- Yeah, that's not happening.
I haven't met him either,
if it makes you feel better.
Thanks. It doesn't.
Coop, you're light. All right?
You know your net carry has to be
in seven figures to cover your nut.
You're gonna have to be more
productive. Bigger jobs or more of them.
We're disciplined.
We hit 14 houses across the county
over the last year without incident
because we only target
things that won't be missed.
Our whole business plan is based on
people not realizing they were robbed.
- How are you showing income?
- Why do we have to show income?
- Some of us pay taxes.
- I pay taxes!
Don't get bent out of shape,
all right? I'm trying to help you.
- I didn't ask for your help.
- Doesn't mean you don't need it.
Where are you parking your money?
I have small accounts
at a few different banks.
Good. So, there's a paper trail?
Is he always like this?
No. Sometimes he overreacts.
Look, Coop, just… just
humor me, all right?
So, just tell me, what was the plan
for when big ticket items come up?
You can't pay Princeton
with a brown bag of cash.
Come on, Coop. You know all this.
What did you think you were gonna do?
It was only supposed
to be a stopgap measure.
So, what happened?
Turns out, we're good at it.
Not from where I'm standing.
Fuck you! Why is he even here?
- Why am I here?
- Yeah.
I'm here for him, all right?
Because I was keeping him out of
trouble long before you ever came along.
We're gonna have to wash the money.
You're gonna wash it?
That means make it seem like
it comes from legitimate sources.
Yeah, I know what money laundering is,
I'm just shocked that a tight-ass
suit like you knows how to do it.
You know, I liked you a lot better
when you were just Nick's
inappropriately hot housekeeper.
Hey!
Coop…
You remember Brett
sutter from my pwc days?
Didn't he get fired?
Well, he left to work with
less palatable clients, right?
The kind that primarily
deal in untraceable funds.
I'm pretty sure he can set us up.
Now, we convert the cash into crypto,
tumble it between wallets
and generate fake invoices
to create evidence of a
legitimate revenue stream.
Congratulations, I'm your
business manager again.
What's his end?
I don't know. My guess, 20%.
Twenty percent? Fuck that.
That's off the gross.
Listen, if you guys wanna trust some
scumbag with your money, that's fine.
He's not coming anywhere near mine.
Well, she's a bright ray
of sunshine, isn't she?
Barney, what are you doing?
What are you talking about?
You shouldn't be getting involved in this.
You were my biggest client.
Are you looking to get back into
legitimate business anytime soon?
No.
Then I'm getting involved.
I'll set the meeting.
Hello?
- We're going to be late.
- Good morning.
No, you're not. You're never late.
Hey, are you gonna check
your admissions portal today?
- Why?
- What do you mean, "why"?
You're supposed to hear
from Princeton any day now.
Okay, mom.
Don't "okay, mom" me.
Okay, mom.
- All right, I see what you did there.
- Did you?
Irony is your love language.
And I love you too.
And then, depression set in.
Fuck.
No, no. You don't wanna see that.
It's split-level and dated.
Holly, can you give me a second?
Esperanza, can you get that?
We're in the bath, miss Samantha!
Well, I went to a… a dinner
party there two years ago,
and the space felt really
great and big and open.
Okay. Great.
I will see you there tomorrow.
9:30. Right. Text me your coffee order.
- All right. Bye.
- New business?
- Yeah.
- Hell yeah.
Thanks for that. And for this.
Hey, it's just my way
of saying "thank you."
It's a pretty big bouquet.
It's a pretty big house.
Owen, you're very
charming… and humble. Right?
But I'm not going to date you.
Wow. Usually people wait for me to
ask them out before they turn me down.
Look, I could see how
I might seem to you
like someone who has their
life together and, I mean…
No. Not really.
Well, everything you've been
through, I'm sure you're a hot mess.
- Well, that's a fair assessment.
- And it's very sexy.
So you just figured I was
vulnerable, and lonely, and horny,
and desperate to please?
No, that's me.
No, I figured you'd have
no Patience for bullshit.
And you'd be open and honest with
me, the way no one else around here is.
Well, I appreciate that.
And in that spirit, I'd just like to reiterate
- that I am not going to date
- and you're so hot.
It's crazy, really. We can't deny that.
Thank you. But sadly, I am
a committed spinster now.
I get it, really I do. I do.
Now, just give me a minute
'cause I'm gonna tell you
all the reasons why that's a terrible idea.
- Okay.
- Terrible idea.
- Good night.
- Thirty seconds.
Good night, Owen.
It's ashe.
You know that girl?
Started at Mayfield last week.
Her dad is the super rich guy who
threw the thing mom and dad went to.
Is she your year?
Yeah.
Well, go talk to her.
Why?
Because she's alone
and it's what people do.
She looks busy.
Hey! New girl!
This is hunter.
Do you wanna talk to him?
You're welcome.
Hunter Cooper, right?
I think we have bio together.
I'm Delilah ashe.
Your sister is a lot?
She's also kind of a know-it-all.
And surprisingly messy.
There's like, hair, everywhere.
All the time.
What are you drawing?
You.
- That's really good.
- Thanks.
Where were you before this?
Schloss krumbach.
It's a boarding school in Austria.
Why Austria?
No idea. You'd have to ask my father.
And I'm the last person
who's gonna cape for Austria.
Shitty food and German
is an impossible language.
So why'd you move here?
As far as I can tell,
my father's decided to try his
hand at actually being a parent.
And I guess step one is,
like, completely uprooting and
disrupting your daughter's life.
- And your mom?
- She died when I was eight.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, the dead mother is
kind of a conversation killer.
Are you here alone?
No. All my new friends should
be getting here any second.
So are you gonna sit down, or what?
Hey.
What are you doing? We
have a court in ten minutes.
You have your racket?
Maybe put on some clothes?
Come on, dad. Princeton
has already made its decision.
Okay, one more session
isn't gonna make a difference.
I'm not worried about
Princeton. I'm worried about me.
All right, you're gonna go away to
college and I'm gonna lose my tennis buddy.
Come on. Let's… do
not start acting like mom.
She starts to cry every
time she looks at me now.
Well, that's just abject disappointment.
Fair.
Can't we just stay here
and do this instead?
And by this you mean nothing?
Exactly. But with intention.
I think I'm still hungover
from a she's party.
Is that possible?
Of course it is. We're old as fuck.
My liver definitely is.
Shut your pretty young mouth.
Let us hags speak.
Excuse you, but I am the
mother of an almost five-year-old.
Sorry in advance for the
birthday party tomorrow, guys.
It is gonna be as tacky as they come.
That's on me.
You can take the girl
out of long island, but…
Just keep the pool covered so Diane
doesn't decide to take another swim.
Okay.
I know I should be mortified, all right.
But I don't remember anything that
happened after meeting Mr. Ashe, so…
But him you remember.
He does make quite an impression.
Really?
Yeah. I'm gay, not blind.
You know, Mel, he is single.
No, thank you.
Come on, Mel.
It's been ages since you and Nick split.
Ashe is fresh meat.
No local baggage.
He's not my type.
Bullshit. He's everybody's type.
Come on, Mel.
Get you some horizontal refreshment.
You know with Tori off to college, you
are one kid away from an empty nest.
We're not telling you to
marry him, just have some fun.
Yeah, like that worked
out so well the last time.
No one told you to move
Nick into your house.
You can't just put your
vag on a shelf, Mel.
- What?
- At our age,
it's a use it or lose it proposition.
I am exclusively focused on my book.
I am like a monk.
You know those monks fuck each other.
What?
It's the robes. Easy access.
Is it weird that thinking about
that is making me hungry?
- Yes.
- I love you.
The buffet beckons.
Geez.
Everything okay?
No.
I went on a date this last
week and my lady bits…
I don't know how to talk about this.
They… I think it's normal, but…
You bitch. You're just
starting perimenopause?
I think so, right? 'Cause I can't sleep.
I'm sweating constantly,
like, just drenched.
You're glowing.
I can't focus on my writing,
which could just be
'cause I suck at writing.
But… help?
Do hormone replacement therapy.
- Just like that?
- No, it's totally safe.
I don't know.
You might feel differently when you
start punching random people in the face.
What do you mean?
It happens.
You will feel the urge to murder people.
I tried to strangle my
brother at a barbecue.
- Why?
- No reason.
It's a personal choice.
So, either take hormones
or count myself out sexually
from here until forever?
No, of course not.
There's so many more
people I would've had sex with.
You could do the monalisa touch.
The Mona… what?
It's a laser treatment to
prevent vaginal atrophy.
- Yeah.
- Vaginal…
Yeah, helps with the dryness.
It promotes collagen growth.
It's expensive, but you can
happily fuck your way into your 70s.
It just requires more maintenance.
Call my guy, I'm telling you.
- Vaginal… - atrophy.
- …Atrophy?
He'll fix you right up.
Is that a medical term?
Hello. Yeah. Yeah. That's
right. Great to meet you.
Syrup on eggs?
Don't food-shame me.
You told me to lay off
pancakes altogether.
Well, that's not food-shaming.
It's fat-shaming.
That's okay, then?
Come on. Such a stellar role model.
- So good.
- You think that's funny?
- You're gonna stuff pancakes in too?
- Hi, Mel.
- Hey.
- Jesus.
Where were you?
I could've used some
backup in the sauna.
I just got my annual keratin.
So, two days before
I can get my hair wet.
Why, what'd I miss?
They were trying to pimp me out.
Pimp… to whom?
- It's great to meet you.
- Thank you. Glad you had a good time.
Yeah, we'll see you soon. I'm sure.
Yes. Yes, you should totally do that.
And by that, I mean him.
And by do, I mean fuck him so hard
until, like, things start to hurt.
- I get it.
- Please, you know, for the rest of us.
I get it. Yep.
Your family is still eating.
This whole gratuitously lavish
buffet, and you're going for wheat toast.
Want some cornflakes with that?
I'm a simple man.
I think both of us know that's not true.
Yeah? How do you mean?
Well. I mean, even if I
wasn't good at reading people,
which I am by the way,
you, my friend, have
complicated written all over you.
Well, as you already found out,
life didn't exactly work
out the way it was planned.
Hey, I can relate, man.
Yeah, you seem pretty
complicated yourself.
You have no idea.
I bet.
Well, the party was a hit.
Everybody's talking about it.
It was good, right? It was fun.
- I can go a little overboard sometimes.
- You think?
My therapist told me I have
no concept of boundaries.
Of course, I was sleeping
with her at the time.
- As one does.
- Yeah.
But, as far as I can tell, you
and I have a lot in common.
Including being the only single
men in town who aren't NBA all-stars.
I was hoping you could
point me in the right direction.
- Know what I mean?
- Yeah, well,
I'm afraid it's pretty slim pickings
around here at westmont village.
It's pretty much a married crowd.
Shit, yeah.
I don't love dating married women.
I mean, the sex is great.
They seem like they have a lot to prove,
but then you gotta listen to them
moaning about their shitty husbands
while you try to sleep.
And all of a sudden, they've turned a
hot fling into another shitty marriage.
Toast.
Sounds like you have some
experience in this arena.
I've been single longer than you.
And I'm a widower.
Women love a sad man.
Yeah, sad is not the vibe I get from you.
We should go out in the
city sometime, you and me.
It'd be great. I'm a great wingman.
I'm not saying you
need it. You don't need it.
You got the whole suburban
James Bond thing working.
It's good.
I bet you get laid all the time, don't you?
I do too. But it's more
because I throw money around.
Not in a sex worker kind of way.
Although if that's your thing,
then, yeah, no judgment here.
I'm gonna get back to my kids.
I'll come with you.
- Okay.
- Nice job on the toast.
Thanks.
You and ashe look awfully buddy-buddy.
Yeah, he's a real one.
You know, he's got a
lot of ideas for the gym.
Sounds like he may want to get involved.
If we do these next two locations right,
we won't have to take
on any outside investment.
You can retain complete ownership.
Yeah, that's true.
And the way these
endorsements are rolling in…
Hey, would you buy deodorant from me?
- I would seriously…
- consider it. - You would?
So, how well do you know this guy?
Better than you know
Nick's housekeeper.
- Elena.
- I know her name.
Seriously, what were you thinking?
She had a gun on me.
She carries a gun.
Great.
- Hey.
- Hey. Get over here, choi.
- Good to see you.
- How's the wife?
- The kids? All good?
- All good.
Hey. How's Denise?
Long gone, my friend. She absconded
to Florida with her personal trainer.
- I'm sorry to hear that, man.
- Yeah. Thank god for prenups, right?
- Brett sutter.
- Hey. Andrew Cooper.
You look a lot better than your mug shot.
- I would hope so.
- I don't mean anything by it.
I couldn't pretend I
didn't know who you were.
Well, Coop was acquitted.
Doesn't matter to me.
Find me a client without a body, right?
Hey, thanks for coming by, fellas.
I find these conversations are
better had in a controlled environment.
Come on. Sit down.
So, Coop, Barney tells me you
need the fluff and fold treatment.
Well, I'm not sure exactly what I need.
Coop's come into an
unexpected windfall.
You know, we can't source it completely,
but need it for legitimate expenses.
And this unexpected, unsourceable
money we imagine it's gonna keep coming?
Yeah.
All right. Here's how I'd do it.
Barney, you're the courier.
Now, you deposit the
funds in my crypto exchange
on behalf of some
dummy finance company.
I use a proven series of hops,
mixers and Bridges to
obscure the origin of the money.
Eventually, you invoice
me from an llc you set up.
Invoice you for what?
Well, you're consulting for me.
Well, not me. For one
or two companies I own.
And I remit taxable
payments to your company.
Minus my commission.
- And how much is that?
- Thirty.
Bullshit. Twenty.
Thirty is industry-standard.
I must've missed that in the newsletter.
I'll do it for a quarter.
Deal. What's the lead time on this?
After we set up your
dummy wallets… like that.
I'm gonna get you boys some whiskeys.
We can get into the
dirty details, all right?
I'll come up with something else.
It's no problem, marcia.
I don't wanna be difficult, but…
Please, you're not being difficult.
You mean, you want what you want.
I mean, I love the house,
but, at this price point, I
just need to be reassured
that we're not gonna be
limited by zoning restrictions
once we start renovating.
How do we get clarity on that?
You know what? Let me do some digging
on my end and I'll get back to you soon.
- Okay, great. That'd be wonderful.
- Okay.
- Thank you.
- Yep. Okay, bye.
Bye.
Fuck it.
I mean, he didn't even…
My god.
- Did you know she was coming?
- I sure didn't.
I definitely didn't ask.
- Babe, don't.
- Just give me a second.
Sam, wait.
Sam!
Was Henry the only kid in
class who wasn't invited?
It wasn't meant to be such a
big thing. It just… it kind of blew up.
He just lost his father, Maggie.
- Do you have even an ounce of compassion?
- Of course I do.
Look, it's a complicated situation.
There are a lot of raw feelings.
My god. He is a five-year-old boy.
No one would've cared if he was here.
It wasn't Henry we were worried about.
I could've sent him with someone else.
What was I supposed to
do? Invite him and not you?
Yes!
Because that would've only
been moderately shitty of you.
Instead, you decide to
exclude a five-year-old boy
who's still reeling from
his father's suicide.
- Sam
- he thinks Daisy is his best friend.
I don't think you appreciate
the position you've put us all in.
This is because of Mel.
That's not what I said.
Jesus Christ, it feels like I'm
in high school all over again.
Did you frame someone
for murder in high school?
Fuck you, Maggie.
And you can tell yourself
all the lies you want,
but there's no version of this
where you didn't just take
a cheap shot at a little boy.
He didn't do anything to anyone.
I know.
- I wish it didn't have to be this way.
- That's the thing, Maggie.
It doesn't.
Hey, buddy.
All right.
Easy. Hi.
Hey, buddy. Are you friendly?
Are you friend…
Hey! Hey!
Go shit in your own yard!
Shoo!
Get the fuck outta here.
Shoo!
Fucking dumb-ass.
Yeah, you better run.
- Mel. Hi.
- Hi, brienne.
This is a surprise.
Hey, did you just work out or something?
No.
Well, you just have a little
moisture. Moisture right there.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, right there.
- Just walked all the way over.
Okay. Hi. Is… is everything okay?
Yeah. Ish.
Did you and Clay
happen to just buy a dog?
Arlo.
Yes. We didn't buy him.
We rescued him.
He was sent back twice,
and then given to a kill shelter.
I mean, can you believe that?
Yes. No.
- The thing is, your dog…
- Arlo.
- Arlo is using my backyard as a toilet.
- Yeah.
Really?
Well, I'm sorry about that.
I'm thrilled that he's
found his forever home,
but if you could just make
sure he stays in his forever yard…
We will definitely try.
The thing with mastiffs is
that they tend to wander,
and they kind of prefer to,
like, roam free, you know?
In the English countryside
in the 19th century,
but we're in Westchester now.
Yeah, I will do my best.
Thank you.
Thanks for coming by!
Hey.
You look different.
No shit. I'm also itchy
and lightly nauseous.
I don't know why.
It's just some stuffy elitist prep school.
No offense.
- They're gonna judge me.
- No. You'll be great.
You think so?
Not at the interview part.
- But at the teaching, yeah.
- Okay.
- Hey, hunter.
- Hey.
Wassup?
Delilah, this is my aunt, Ali.
The singer?
You talked about me?
It's nice to meet you.
You too.
Delilah.
Cool.
Well, I am just gonna go stand
over there and sweat my balls off.
Is she okay?
Unclear.
So this is a lot,
but my dad got me insane floor seats to
see the walk men at the beacon tonight.
You're kidding. I love the walk men.
He's feeling guilty for all the moving
around, so he's trying to buy me friends.
So I guess my question
for you is, are you for sale?
Yeah. You had me at floor seats.
Great. We'll pick you up at 5:00.
Give me your info.
Hey, hunter.
Hey.
Hi. I'm Morgan.
Are you new here?
Yes. I'm Delilah.
I just transferred in.
With three months left of school?
I like to up the degree of
difficulty wherever I can.
I love your boots.
Thanks.
Ms. Cooper?
Dr. Seelbach is ready for you.
Okay.
Hunter?
Hey, do I have anything in my teeth?
- All clear.
- Are you sure?
- 'Cause I had Kale salad for lunch…
- bye.
…with a little tuna. How's my breath?
Good luck in there.
Good luck out here.
Surprise!
You got in.
- I never doubted you for a second.
- Way to go, honey.
- Cupcakes.
- Baby, have a cupcake.
Wait, how… how could
you know that I got in?
I checked your common app.
You left your password on our icloud.
You had no right to do that.
Hey, she just wanted to get
ahead of it so we could surprise you.
Why don't you seem excited?
Well, she's probably in shock.
I mean, look at this fuss.
Hey, what's going on?
I was gonna talk to you guys about this.
About what?
I'm not going to Princeton.
I already declined.
Surprise.
- Tori.
- Whoa, whoa. Mel.
No.
Baby, talk to us.
- What's going on?
- I told you, I declined the offer.
What do you mean you declined
the offer? That's not funny.
Do you see me laughing?
If you were having doubts,
why didn't you tell us?
Because I knew it would
pretty much go like this.
- Tori Cooper, you
- okay. Hey. Hey.
Hey. Let's calm down, please.
- Did you know about this?
- Of course I didn't know about this.
- What…
- what is happening here?
- Did something happen?
- No.
- What are you not telling us?
- Nothing, mom.
You're just not accepting
what I am telling you.
Of course I'm not accepting it.
You just spent the last four
years working your ass off to get in.
Now, suddenly overnight you
decide you don't wanna go?
Is there another college
- that you wanted to choose?
- What?
No. I don't know if I
wanna go to college at all.
Okay. I'm not following.
Do you have any idea
what she's talking about?
I'm making my way up to it.
Yes, I'm trying to figure it out.
Tori, do you think you might be more
comfortable talking about it with me?
- Mom.
- I'm just trying to help.
No, thank you. We've got it.
It doesn't look that way to me.
- Okay, thanks.
- Wow.
Guys, let's all push pause?
I get that you clearly have
a lot on your mind right now.
Maybe you could've shared some of this
information with us a little bit earlier.
But why don't we three go somewhere
and sit down and try to
figure out what's going on?
Nothing's going on.
I'm just…
I'm not sure that I want the same
things that you guys want for me.
Tori. Us wanting you to go to
college isn't some outrageous thing.
It's college.
Everything has always been
about what you guys want.
You've never once bothered
to ask me if it's what I wanted.
Okay. Okay.
I'm sorry, all right?
This is… this is us asking,
what do… what do you want?
I don't know.
My god.
Are you pregnant?
Fuck, mom!
Hey, I…
- I'm talking to you.
- Pregnant? Are you fucking serious?
I'm sorry. It just came out.
- Can you wait a minute? Hey.
- Stop, mom.
My god. Tori!
- Jesus Christ.
- My goodness. Sweetie.
- Jesus! Are you all right?
- I'm fine.
- Did you hit your head?
- It's fine. I'm fine.
- Yeah.
- So sorry, sweetheart.
Okay, can we just talk
about something else, please?
Hey…
I'm gonna be teaching at Mayfield now.
You got the job?
Yeah. They hired me on the spot.
I would've told you all sooner, but
I didn't wanna step on Tori's thing,
and since it's no
longer a thing… surprise.
I thought we talked about this.
- We did and I told her
- what is that now?
- Nothing. It's…
- nothing.
He was worried it might be
too much for you. I disagreed.
Hey, Andy, quick question.
- What the fuck?
- Okay. You know what?
Thanks for that. Thank you.
All right, so you're
trying to control Ali too.
Does anyone ever age out, or is it
just your plan to control us all forever?
Tori, I just wanna say this
is the same age that Ali was
when she started to rebel,
and look what happened to her.
- Mom. Mom. Not…
- there it is.
- Not a great time for this.
- Don't pay any attention to her.
- We're very proud of you.
- I'm just trying to help.
Yeah, maybe try a little less, dear.
You just can't handle the fact that
I'm not following the exact path you did.
Sweetheart, college is
where you go to find your path.
Right, okay. And how has that
worked out for you and dad?
What? Because we… because
our marriage didn't work out?
- Is that what this is about?
- No, your lives didn't work out.
Okay, you lost your job.
You both did.
And now, you're starting over and
mom thinks she's gonna write a book.
Okay. Tori, cool it, all right?
Okay. So, what is your grand plan?
I don't have a plan yet.
You're not giving me any
room to breathe or figure it out.
I need some air.
- Baby, i
- don't follow me.
Hey.
She's doing this to punish us.
It might not be about us.
Of course it's about us.
Look at the last year she's had.
This is a classic trauma response
to the whole mess you got us into.
Really?
I'm sorry. I'm just…
just spinning out here.
Maybe there is something
to what Tori is actually saying.
- You're on her side?
- I'm not on anyone's side.
I'm not taking sides. I'm
just saying, let's hear her out.
This is not the time to
treat her like a rational actor.
She's being reckless and rebellious
and she's gonna blow up her whole life.
Maybe. And maybe we have to let her.
Don't do that.
This isn't Ali.
You can't tell me not to parent
my own daughter, our daughter.
You have the wrong driveway.
They're here for me.
- What do you mean?
- Just going to a concert with Delilah.
Excuse me, with who?
Hey, hey.
Hey, Delilah, say hi.
Coop. Melanie. Great to see ya.
I'll have him home by midnight, maybe.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Sorry about that and this
and everything to come.
Trust me, it's way better than
what's going on in my house.
Hey, hunter! You ready to rock?
Dad, please take it
down several notches.
What was that? Sorry, I can't hear you.
You're like a mile away.
Maybe just call me.
I don't trust that guy.
Certainly is friendly.
Where are you going?
To find her and get to the bottom of this.
Just give her some space?
I know you mean well,
but getting parenting advice
from you is really hard right now.
Yeah, and your way
is working really well.
If you wanna be helpful, go in
there and get rid of your family.
I'm just… not you, Ron.
Course not.
Hey, dad.
Sorry you had to witness that.
That?
That was nothing.
It's hard when you reach the point where
you can't protect your
kids the way you used to.
Not from the world, not
from their own choices.
I'm her father. If I can't
protect her, then who?
Well, it's not that you can't.
It's that she won't let you.
Because you've raised a smart
and fiercely independent daughter.
Which doesn't mean she is not
gonna screw up. She will, a lot.
And that's when being a
father becomes really tricky,
because it's no longer
about telling her what to do.
It's about finding a way to let go
while still keeping everyone close.
She's making choices that
are gonna wreck her life.
That's the hardest part because
your job is no longer to stop her.
Your job is to stay on the sidelines.
Just make sure she
knows you're there for her
when she realizes she needs you.
Well, I'm glad you're here.
Thanks.
- You coming?
- Give me five more minutes.
I could use a break from your mother.
Jesus. Take ten.
Fuck you!
Not you.
I was dealing with an aching
back and a familial cluster fuck.
So, I wasn't really in the mood to work,
but this job didn't come with
sick days or paid family leave.
And the fact was,
I knew ashe and his
daughter were out for the night
and that he hadn't staffed up yet.
So, there was a window
we couldn't ignore.
I also knew his house had a lot of doors,
and he didn't seem like the
kind of guy who would do a circuit
to make sure they were all locked.
Okay, I got a door.
You're absolutely positive there's
no security system installed yet?
He is taking bids from héctor's
company and two others next week.
Staff?
I already told you he
hired hennah's cousin,
and she starts tomorrow.
You're being quiet.
It's been a long night.
- You wanna talk about it?
- Not particularly.
Good. Let's talk about Barney then.
What about him?
I just… I don't understand why you
wanna bring more people into this.
Because he's right.
If we keep working at this clip,
we're gonna need to find some way
to make all this money
we're earning look legit.
Otherwise, we're gonna be sitting
on piles of cash that we can't use.
Well, where I live, cash is still king.
We might not need Barney yet,
but there's only so much money
you can stuff under a mattress.
I don't know, Coop.
It sounds to me like you're
still trying to have it both ways.
What is that supposed to mean?
You're a thief and you want a 401.
I think you need to decide
who you are and be that person.
I contain multitudes.
Multitudes of bullshit.
All right. Elena, look.
Barney is consulting for us like
héctor. And you're my only partner.
Fine.
Maybe it is time that I got
the white guy treatment,
like you and Barney.
Okay. You know, Barney is not white.
Does he know that?
Edith wharton's the house of mirth.
Signed, first edition, first
printing, American issue
with frontispiece and
seven illustrated plates.
Pristine condition, with an estimated
value of up to $115,000 at auction.
And it's not even her masterpiece,
that would be the age of innocence.
That one that made her the first
woman to win a pulitzer prize for fiction.
Well, she technically only won
after the jury's original selection,
sinclair Lewis's main
street, was disqualified.
Not that it mattered
to collectors like ashe.
Who had almost certainly
never even cracked the spine.
These books were purchased by
the yard, probably by a book stylist.
Just another way to dress his
walls with appreciating assets.
- Coop.
- Yeah. Yeah, I got it.
I'm coming out.
All right. You're showing
some healthy gains,
but you need to diversify a little bit more.
And for god's sake,
stop investing in t-bills.
You're just leaving money on the table.
You get that sep ira set up yet?
Talk to her.
You need the shelter.
Quit rabble-rousing, Coop.
What do you have for me today?
Edith wharton.
First edition.
Excellent condition.
Well, I can move this.
I always preferred Jane Austen myself.
I would not have called that.
We were all young once.
What about you?
I'm more of a movie guy.
That's what's wrong
with your generation.
No appreciation for the finer arts.
Speaking of, did you find
a buyer for the bacon yet?
Still too hot.
The owner has done everything
short of alerting Interpol
that it was stolen.
You're gonna have to sit on it for a while.
Maybe even another year.
What if I don't have another year?
Then you'll probably end up in prison.
Hey, Barney. I'm right in
the middle of something.
Can I call you back in like ten?
Okay, but actually call me back for once.
I may have found a solution
to our little logistics problem.
Sorry about that.
Always be closing, right?
Mamet. Nice.
Thank you for this. I
have to get back to work.
- Sidney.
- Later, frank.
Harvey, I often wish I were
deaf and wore a hearing aid.
With a simple flick of a switch,
I could shut out the
greedy murmur of little men.
J.j., I need your ear for two minutes.
- Mac!
- Yes?
I don't want this man at my table…
I've got a message from your sister.
Hey, Coop.
Ashe, what are you doing here?
Hey, did hunter have a
good time at the show?
He's a really, really nice kid.
Little quiet, but polite.
And I think my daughter
may have a little crush on him.
Is there something I can help you with?
I don't mean to be rude,
but I got a bunch of calls and…
Yeah.
Remember when I told you
you're a complicated guy?
Yeah.
Well, it turns out, I had
no idea how complicated.