Jackie Chan Adventures (2000) s02e03 Episode Script
Snake Hunt
1
Aah!
Hi, Jade.
(Gasping)
Jackie.
Don't sneak up on me
like that.
Oh, I was sneaking up
on you?
You're supposed to be
back at the hotel.
Sure, limit my exposure
to other cultures.
Stifle my educational
potential.
Jade, I'm only trying
to stifle your potential
to be harmed.
What if the dark hand
were here, too,
looking for
the snake talisman?
Did you find it?
Ah, not yet.
You'd think
it were invisible.
Oh!
The dark hand!
Stay here.
I thought you
meant here with you.
Welcome to another episode
of just the artifacts.
Your passage
to the thrilling world
of archaeology.
I am your guide,
Wesley rank.
And today, I have braved
the treacherous
anaconda falls
to bring you
to a secret site--
the legendary lost temple
of culebra gigante,
a monstrous serpent,
said to be thousands
of years old.
And look!
This ancient chalk drawing
clearly indicates
that a snake cult
once worshipped
their fearsome idol,
right here
on this very spot.
Tsk. Not much
of a temple, is it?
And as for culebra
itself, well--(Laughs)
No big snakes around here.
What a goofball!
Jackie, why don't
you get in front
of the camera
and tell him
a thing or two?
Jade, I don't want
to be on TV.
We are on a top-secret
mission.
No one must know
what we're looking for.
You there!
Can't you see
we're filming?
Who are you two?
Uh, we're, um--
archeologists.
Stop that!
I mean cut!
Cut!
Edit them out.
Camera hog.
This is my dig.
There's nothing here
for you. Go away.
What are you
looking for anyway?
UhThe exit.
Bye-bye.
Chan
We really have
to stop using
the same travel agent.
The dark hand!
More archaeologists?
Quite the popular
"secret" site.
The talisman.
I don't know what
you're talking about.
Ohh!
Talisman?
The snake talisman.
(Grunts)
Hyah!
Aaii!
Oww! Ohh!
Whoa.
Wow! He's an archeologist?
Jackie's totally ready
to host his own show--
educational, but with an
action/adventure slant.
We're thinking
of calling it
Jackie chan can.
I'm the plucky cohost.
Aw, cut! Cut!
Edit that out, too.
Tch. Rank
is totally rank.
WhoaThe snake talisman!
Hmm
Talisman.
Whoaa!
Twofer.
Jackie, look!
Busy, Jade.
Sorry.
Camera loves him.
I want another shot
of that.
Get in tight.
Down!
Aah!
- Aah!
(Gasping)
Ratso?
Ratso.
Ratso!
Heh heh. Did you see
all the fishies?
Ow!
- Ow!
- Ow!
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
Piranha!
Piranha!
(Grunts)
Come on.
The snake talisman
was part of the drawing.
Right over
Here?
Oh, it's gone!
Destroyed!
The dark hand?
No.
They were
too preoccupied.
Then who?
And thus just the artifacts
has the exclusive scoop
on this infamous
snake talisman,
whatever that is.
You do think everyone
was fighting
over the chalk drawing,
don't you?
Uh, maybe we should ask
an archeologist.
I am
- an a rcheologist.
Oh, right. Destroying
4,000-year-old drawings,
yeah.
That's what
archaeologists do.
Pipe down, you.
Oh
(Cell phone rings)
Hello?
Jackie, did you find
the snake talisman?
No, uncle.
There was only
a big empty cave
with a drawing
of the snake talisman.
And a ton of bats.
Wha? You are not
supposed to be
in a cave of bats.
You are supposed to be
in the temple of snakes,
guarded by
one very big snake.
Well, there was no big snake
and no temple.
And now there is no drawing.
Well, we can always
see it on rank's show.
Or we can find rank now
and get a sneak preview.
Uh, no big v.
- We haven't spotted chan yet.
In fact, we're still
at the airport.
A mix-up with the bags.
Yeah, I told tohru
we should just do carry on,
but, hey, whatcha gonna do?
Yoop!
(Gasping)
Hang on.
T-monster wants ya.
Rest assured, master.
We will find
your talisman.
And I will break
Jackie chan.
Time to tuck you in.
(Snoring)
We're in the middle
of nowhere.
What are we going
to view it on?
Tch. They do a TV show.
Bwaa!
Chirp chirp.
Chirp chirp.
Chirp chirp.
Chirp chirp.
Heh. Sorry.
Here you go.
The talisman. See?
Yes. But what
does it mean?
Aw, crikey!
Sorry
we didn't rewind.
Thank you.
I had the weirdest
dream--
a bird that chirp
like a car alarm.
That was no dream.
That was thieves!
Dahh--ahhMy tape.
Wait, they went
to all this trouble,
and didn't take it.
Perhaps there's more
to this drawing than
the drawing itself.
Ooh, that's deep.
Zip it, you.
Why does the snake
bite its own tail?
Maybe it can't see
what it's eating
because it's got a talisman
stuck in its eye.
The snake biting its tail
symbolizes the circle of life.
The end is in the beginning!
The drawing was a map,
telling us
that the talisman is
at the cave where we began.
In the eye of the snake?
Could be dangerous.
You're going back
to the hotel.
Oh
Hi, Jackie.
Jade, stop
following me.
I got here first.
Technically,
you followed me.
(Sighs)
Don't bother.
I checked everything.
No sign of a temple
or a talisman.
Whoa.
Score one for the jackster.
The temple of culebra gigante.
Right under our noses.
More like
right above our heads.
Snake eye.
See Jackie?
Nothing to worry about.
The snake's
not even real.
Wait here.
Yeah, yeah.
(Grunting)
(Sighs) Huh?
A snake!
Ahh! Ah!
Jackie, they're all snakes!
Bad snake, bad snake,
bad snake. Yaa.
Uhh!
Uhh. Ahh
(Sighs)
Jackie, you scaled it!
Er, so to speak.
(Grunts)
Oh! Ohh!
I got it. I got it!
How wrong you are,
little lady.
Eh, you there,
camera guy.
Roll film, quickly.
Welcome, I'm Wesley rank,
and you're watching
just the artifacts
at the legendary once lost
temple of culebra gigante.
I have just braved
a treacherous climb
to the temple's harrowing
heights to bring you this
The snake talisman.
Liar! Liar! Liar!
Ow! That hurt!
Edit that out.
Where did this mysterious
talisman come from?
Why was it here?
And what is that awful racket?
Aah!
Aah!
- Aah!
Jade!
Aah!
Aah!
- Aah!
Yaaa!
Everything all right?
Maybe a sprain.
I meant the camera!
Now, point it
at that exit.
Let's wrap this up.
Ohh! Uh
Ohh
Jackie,
are you ok?
Oh, I will be
after a week in traction.
And with this
phenomenal find
firmly in hand,
this is Wesley rank
bidding you farewell
till next time
on just the artifacts.
Daah! Aah! Aah! Aah!
Let me guess.
Edit that out?
Seor gigante, I presume?
Oh! Why's he
looking at me?
Because it is the guardian
of the temple,
and you have the talisman.
Yaaa!
I don't want it.
Here!
Careful, Jackie.
It's thropwing a hissy!
I get it.
It can't bite us up here.
It can't bite you
up there!
Whoaa!
Uhh! Oh! Oh!
Ohh
Jackie!
Use the talisman!
We don't know
what power it has,
too dangerous.
Tch, like jumbo
the snake's not?
Crikey!
I didn't tell you
to film that!
Hello
I'm blinding it.
Snakes don't have eyelids.
Aaah!
Jackie, climb up!
Me first.
Me first.
You next.
Doesn't want me, man.
Hyah!
Uhh!
Throw me the vine.
Throw me the talisman.
Thank you.
The vine!
Nice guy.
(Growls)
Come on! Come on!
The network's
gonna love this.
Aah!
(Nervous mumbling)
(Panting)
Sleazo took off
with the talisman.
(Humming)
Get out of here,
on my way--
the talisman.
Yaa!
- Yaa!
Yaa!
No sign
of the flying monkeys.
Rats with wings.
I'll take the bats.
(Grunting)
Heh. It's all yours,
mate.
Uh-oh.
Aah!
Oh
Uh-oh.
- Uh-oh.
Jade! Go! Go! Go!
Ooff!
- Oof!
Why are you still here?
Uh, camera guy
was right. I'm a jerk.
I couldn't leave
without apologizing--
not now!
Run!
Aaaah!
Aah!
Aah!
- Aah!
Oh-ohh
Gotcha.
- Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
- Aah!
Waaah!
(Coughing)
Waaah!
Incoming!
Belly flop!
Ow! Ow!
Piranha!
Oh. I hate piranha.
Ow. Ow.
(Sighs) Adios, culebra.
The only snake I ever
want to see after this
is the snake talisman.
Huh? It's gone!
Rank.
What a snake!
Welcome. I'm Wesley rank,
and you're watching
just the artifacts
at the legendary once lost
temple of culebra gigante.
I have just braved
a treacherous climb
to the temple's harrowing
heights to bring you this
The snake talisman.
I'm on TV!
Rank didn't edit that out?
Liar! Liar! Liar!
Ow! That hurt.
Aah! Aah! Aah!
(Sobbing)
Welcome to a special edition
of just the artifacts.
Wesley rank may not know how
to treat little girls,
but he sure knows how
to scream like one.
Ha ha ha ha.
I'm dino stefanson,
and I'll be your new guide.
Go, camera guy.
Look!
You'll also get
the full scoop
on how we recovered
this rare snake talisman
from a local pawn shop
rank sold it to.
We, of course,
donated the artifact
to the New York museum.
(Sigh) After what
we've been through,
getting the talisman from
the museum should be a snap.
We're off to the jungle.
New York,
the concrete jungle.
Duh.
Man: Hey, Jackie.
- Yes.
Have you ever worked with
any dangerous animals?
Lion. Lion. Yes.
In Africa.
Small--small lion.
I picked up the lion,
hi, hi, hi.
But the native, the small--
the native, aah! Aah! Aah!
I said, what? What?
But the mom come behind me.
Then I run,
climb up to the tree.
The lion, grr, grr, grr!
Almost touch my feet.
Remember, lion can climb up
to the tree.
Aah!
Hi, Jade.
(Gasping)
Jackie.
Don't sneak up on me
like that.
Oh, I was sneaking up
on you?
You're supposed to be
back at the hotel.
Sure, limit my exposure
to other cultures.
Stifle my educational
potential.
Jade, I'm only trying
to stifle your potential
to be harmed.
What if the dark hand
were here, too,
looking for
the snake talisman?
Did you find it?
Ah, not yet.
You'd think
it were invisible.
Oh!
The dark hand!
Stay here.
I thought you
meant here with you.
Welcome to another episode
of just the artifacts.
Your passage
to the thrilling world
of archaeology.
I am your guide,
Wesley rank.
And today, I have braved
the treacherous
anaconda falls
to bring you
to a secret site--
the legendary lost temple
of culebra gigante,
a monstrous serpent,
said to be thousands
of years old.
And look!
This ancient chalk drawing
clearly indicates
that a snake cult
once worshipped
their fearsome idol,
right here
on this very spot.
Tsk. Not much
of a temple, is it?
And as for culebra
itself, well--(Laughs)
No big snakes around here.
What a goofball!
Jackie, why don't
you get in front
of the camera
and tell him
a thing or two?
Jade, I don't want
to be on TV.
We are on a top-secret
mission.
No one must know
what we're looking for.
You there!
Can't you see
we're filming?
Who are you two?
Uh, we're, um--
archeologists.
Stop that!
I mean cut!
Cut!
Edit them out.
Camera hog.
This is my dig.
There's nothing here
for you. Go away.
What are you
looking for anyway?
UhThe exit.
Bye-bye.
Chan
We really have
to stop using
the same travel agent.
The dark hand!
More archaeologists?
Quite the popular
"secret" site.
The talisman.
I don't know what
you're talking about.
Ohh!
Talisman?
The snake talisman.
(Grunts)
Hyah!
Aaii!
Oww! Ohh!
Whoa.
Wow! He's an archeologist?
Jackie's totally ready
to host his own show--
educational, but with an
action/adventure slant.
We're thinking
of calling it
Jackie chan can.
I'm the plucky cohost.
Aw, cut! Cut!
Edit that out, too.
Tch. Rank
is totally rank.
WhoaThe snake talisman!
Hmm
Talisman.
Whoaa!
Twofer.
Jackie, look!
Busy, Jade.
Sorry.
Camera loves him.
I want another shot
of that.
Get in tight.
Down!
Aah!
- Aah!
(Gasping)
Ratso?
Ratso.
Ratso!
Heh heh. Did you see
all the fishies?
Ow!
- Ow!
- Ow!
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
Piranha!
Piranha!
(Grunts)
Come on.
The snake talisman
was part of the drawing.
Right over
Here?
Oh, it's gone!
Destroyed!
The dark hand?
No.
They were
too preoccupied.
Then who?
And thus just the artifacts
has the exclusive scoop
on this infamous
snake talisman,
whatever that is.
You do think everyone
was fighting
over the chalk drawing,
don't you?
Uh, maybe we should ask
an archeologist.
I am
- an a rcheologist.
Oh, right. Destroying
4,000-year-old drawings,
yeah.
That's what
archaeologists do.
Pipe down, you.
Oh
(Cell phone rings)
Hello?
Jackie, did you find
the snake talisman?
No, uncle.
There was only
a big empty cave
with a drawing
of the snake talisman.
And a ton of bats.
Wha? You are not
supposed to be
in a cave of bats.
You are supposed to be
in the temple of snakes,
guarded by
one very big snake.
Well, there was no big snake
and no temple.
And now there is no drawing.
Well, we can always
see it on rank's show.
Or we can find rank now
and get a sneak preview.
Uh, no big v.
- We haven't spotted chan yet.
In fact, we're still
at the airport.
A mix-up with the bags.
Yeah, I told tohru
we should just do carry on,
but, hey, whatcha gonna do?
Yoop!
(Gasping)
Hang on.
T-monster wants ya.
Rest assured, master.
We will find
your talisman.
And I will break
Jackie chan.
Time to tuck you in.
(Snoring)
We're in the middle
of nowhere.
What are we going
to view it on?
Tch. They do a TV show.
Bwaa!
Chirp chirp.
Chirp chirp.
Chirp chirp.
Chirp chirp.
Heh. Sorry.
Here you go.
The talisman. See?
Yes. But what
does it mean?
Aw, crikey!
Sorry
we didn't rewind.
Thank you.
I had the weirdest
dream--
a bird that chirp
like a car alarm.
That was no dream.
That was thieves!
Dahh--ahhMy tape.
Wait, they went
to all this trouble,
and didn't take it.
Perhaps there's more
to this drawing than
the drawing itself.
Ooh, that's deep.
Zip it, you.
Why does the snake
bite its own tail?
Maybe it can't see
what it's eating
because it's got a talisman
stuck in its eye.
The snake biting its tail
symbolizes the circle of life.
The end is in the beginning!
The drawing was a map,
telling us
that the talisman is
at the cave where we began.
In the eye of the snake?
Could be dangerous.
You're going back
to the hotel.
Oh
Hi, Jackie.
Jade, stop
following me.
I got here first.
Technically,
you followed me.
(Sighs)
Don't bother.
I checked everything.
No sign of a temple
or a talisman.
Whoa.
Score one for the jackster.
The temple of culebra gigante.
Right under our noses.
More like
right above our heads.
Snake eye.
See Jackie?
Nothing to worry about.
The snake's
not even real.
Wait here.
Yeah, yeah.
(Grunting)
(Sighs) Huh?
A snake!
Ahh! Ah!
Jackie, they're all snakes!
Bad snake, bad snake,
bad snake. Yaa.
Uhh!
Uhh. Ahh
(Sighs)
Jackie, you scaled it!
Er, so to speak.
(Grunts)
Oh! Ohh!
I got it. I got it!
How wrong you are,
little lady.
Eh, you there,
camera guy.
Roll film, quickly.
Welcome, I'm Wesley rank,
and you're watching
just the artifacts
at the legendary once lost
temple of culebra gigante.
I have just braved
a treacherous climb
to the temple's harrowing
heights to bring you this
The snake talisman.
Liar! Liar! Liar!
Ow! That hurt!
Edit that out.
Where did this mysterious
talisman come from?
Why was it here?
And what is that awful racket?
Aah!
Aah!
- Aah!
Jade!
Aah!
Aah!
- Aah!
Yaaa!
Everything all right?
Maybe a sprain.
I meant the camera!
Now, point it
at that exit.
Let's wrap this up.
Ohh! Uh
Ohh
Jackie,
are you ok?
Oh, I will be
after a week in traction.
And with this
phenomenal find
firmly in hand,
this is Wesley rank
bidding you farewell
till next time
on just the artifacts.
Daah! Aah! Aah! Aah!
Let me guess.
Edit that out?
Seor gigante, I presume?
Oh! Why's he
looking at me?
Because it is the guardian
of the temple,
and you have the talisman.
Yaaa!
I don't want it.
Here!
Careful, Jackie.
It's thropwing a hissy!
I get it.
It can't bite us up here.
It can't bite you
up there!
Whoaa!
Uhh! Oh! Oh!
Ohh
Jackie!
Use the talisman!
We don't know
what power it has,
too dangerous.
Tch, like jumbo
the snake's not?
Crikey!
I didn't tell you
to film that!
Hello
I'm blinding it.
Snakes don't have eyelids.
Aaah!
Jackie, climb up!
Me first.
Me first.
You next.
Doesn't want me, man.
Hyah!
Uhh!
Throw me the vine.
Throw me the talisman.
Thank you.
The vine!
Nice guy.
(Growls)
Come on! Come on!
The network's
gonna love this.
Aah!
(Nervous mumbling)
(Panting)
Sleazo took off
with the talisman.
(Humming)
Get out of here,
on my way--
the talisman.
Yaa!
- Yaa!
Yaa!
No sign
of the flying monkeys.
Rats with wings.
I'll take the bats.
(Grunting)
Heh. It's all yours,
mate.
Uh-oh.
Aah!
Oh
Uh-oh.
- Uh-oh.
Jade! Go! Go! Go!
Ooff!
- Oof!
Why are you still here?
Uh, camera guy
was right. I'm a jerk.
I couldn't leave
without apologizing--
not now!
Run!
Aaaah!
Aah!
Aah!
- Aah!
Oh-ohh
Gotcha.
- Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
- Aah!
Waaah!
(Coughing)
Waaah!
Incoming!
Belly flop!
Ow! Ow!
Piranha!
Oh. I hate piranha.
Ow. Ow.
(Sighs) Adios, culebra.
The only snake I ever
want to see after this
is the snake talisman.
Huh? It's gone!
Rank.
What a snake!
Welcome. I'm Wesley rank,
and you're watching
just the artifacts
at the legendary once lost
temple of culebra gigante.
I have just braved
a treacherous climb
to the temple's harrowing
heights to bring you this
The snake talisman.
I'm on TV!
Rank didn't edit that out?
Liar! Liar! Liar!
Ow! That hurt.
Aah! Aah! Aah!
(Sobbing)
Welcome to a special edition
of just the artifacts.
Wesley rank may not know how
to treat little girls,
but he sure knows how
to scream like one.
Ha ha ha ha.
I'm dino stefanson,
and I'll be your new guide.
Go, camera guy.
Look!
You'll also get
the full scoop
on how we recovered
this rare snake talisman
from a local pawn shop
rank sold it to.
We, of course,
donated the artifact
to the New York museum.
(Sigh) After what
we've been through,
getting the talisman from
the museum should be a snap.
We're off to the jungle.
New York,
the concrete jungle.
Duh.
Man: Hey, Jackie.
- Yes.
Have you ever worked with
any dangerous animals?
Lion. Lion. Yes.
In Africa.
Small--small lion.
I picked up the lion,
hi, hi, hi.
But the native, the small--
the native, aah! Aah! Aah!
I said, what? What?
But the mom come behind me.
Then I run,
climb up to the tree.
The lion, grr, grr, grr!
Almost touch my feet.
Remember, lion can climb up
to the tree.