Leanne (2025) s02e03 Episode Script
The Old Cat Had Her Reasons
[upbeat theme music playing]
[Leanne] Three months.
[Andrew] Three long months.
I hate it when the FBI
takes you away from me.
Thankfully, we got through it unscathed.
Except when I accidentally looped you
into that crime scene group chat.
I'm sorry I hearted that photo.
I thought I was looking
at heads in a wig shop.
Can you tell me about Quantico,
or is that hush-hush FBI stuff?
It's really pretty boring.
Really?
Because I see you in a tuxedo,
sipping your martini,
shooting people with your umbrella.
[laughs] I'm not a spy.
That's what a spy would say.
I don't think James Bond ever stayed
in an Econo Lodge next to the ice maker.
That's the last place they would look
for someone who can kill a man
with a string and a paper clip.
[chuckles] I'm not MacGyver, either.
That's what MacGyver would say.
Leanne, um…
[clears throat]
I have a confession to make.
Did you watch
the Below Deck finale without me?
Because I think I did the same.
I broke a promise we made to each other.
Are you doing this in a public place
so I don't flip this table
and beat you with my purse?
Because I will do it regardless.
I know we agreed neither of us
wants to get married again,
but… [sighs] …what can I say?
I got to know you and love you.
And after these past three months,
I don't ever want to be without you again.
Leanne Murphy,
will you marry me?
Oh, my gosh.
I'm going to have to get back to you.
Leanne ♪
[Carol] "I'm going to have
to get back to you"?
I was flummoxed.
He sprung it on me before the entrée.
Doesn't he know
to wait till dessert in case it's a "no"?
[Carol sucks teeth]
That cocky son of a bitch.
He thought he had it in the bag.
Thank goodness
we ordered the seafood tower.
Gave me something to hide behind.
No, no, no. This is on him.
A proposal should only happen
when the woman is beyond ready.
Exactly.
When she's overripe like a peach
that falls off a tree,
rolls down the hill,
and is rotting on the ground.
When all the magic's gone.
And then he pops the question.
That is tradition.
Thank you.
Let me ask you something.
If he waited, would you have said "yes"?
It's like, "yes" was right here,
my divorce was right there,
and then "maybe" just popped out
like a soda burp you can't stop.
[Carol] Mm.
The answer that
was supposed to come out came out.
But I really haven't given him an answer.
Oh, yes, you did. "I'll get back to you"
is just a long, slow, agonizing "no."
The cruelest of the noes.
Did I blow it?
No, we just agreed he blew it.
Hell, by loving me?
I'm confused how to help you now.
Why didn't I just say "yes"?
Because it didn't feel right.
What did I just do?
Listened to your heart.
"Listened to your heart."
Do you even hear yourself?
I'm going to walk away now
because this will get physical.
Don't.
Look, yeah, again, confused.
Hold me.
[lilting music playing]
How is it we're always
the ones late to the book club?
We just live across the street.
Because it pisses Mary off,
and I enjoy that.
She's going to be extra mad.
I didn't read the book.
-You're going to have to cover for me.
-I never read the book.
And can we not bring up the Andrew thing?
I don't want to lay it out
for all those hens to pick at.
Oh, relax, I just go for the free cheese.
Hey, y'all.
Sorry we're late.
Traffic on our porch was nuts.
Where's the Chardonnay?
[gasps] Oh, sitting on the counter
in our kitchen.
-[in unison] I'll go get it.
-No.
Book discourse begins now.
Chapters 12 through 14,
or as I interpreted them,
Maria's walk through the fire.
[Mary laughs]
Response?
Rebuttal?
-Andrew proposed to me.
-[women gasping]
Pull it back, she told him "maybe."
"Maybe"?
Well, technically,
I told him I'd get back to him.
That's just a slow, agonizing "no."
That's what I said.
Why does everyone know this, and I don't?
Because you have the emotional
intelligence of a Marshmallow Peep.
Hey, Peep wasn't ready. Back off!
Peep?
Is that what y'all are calling me
behind my back?
[mouths]
Leanne, do you understand
what happened here?
A 60-year-old woman
was proposed to by a man
who has hair, a job,
and no visible skin tags.
Leanne, what were you thinking?
He didn't give me a chance.
I was blindsided.
It's like Andrew went to the pound
to adopt the oldest cat,
and the cat said, "I'll think about it."
Maybe the old cat had her reasons.
Like what?
I'll take my chances with euthanasia?
What is wrong with you people?
Leanne listened to her heart,
and we're gonna support her.
Hearts can be wrong, Carol.
I know mine was.
After I lost my precious Jerry,
I had a suitor.
[scoffs] If you're talking about
that old greeter at Walmart,
he thinks we're all sexy mamas.
My sister set me up on a blind date.
Oh, he was a real gentleman,
and I'll be honest, there were sparks.
We connected on so many levels.
Puzzles, the Bible, Bible puzzles.
There really is a lid for every pot.
Oh, then I fell deep down
a regrettable well called
"What Will People Think?"
Is it disrespectful to Jerry?
How awkward is heaven gonna be
with two husbands?
If there's no wine, I'll take a paper bag
and a can of spray paint.
So I broke things off
and assumed I'd have more chances at love,
but I never got a bite
from that apple again.
We're both gonna die alone.
We all have the one that got away.
I wish.
Y'all resent me
for stealing your boyfriends,
but the sad fact is, I was never in love
with any of those losers.
Wish I'd known that
before I keyed your car.
I would've gone deeper.
What I'm trying to say is,
Leanne, you're lucky to be in love.
Don't throw that away.
Oh my Lord, what have I done?
No, no, no. These sea hags
are trying to scare you straight.
Listen to your gut.
I dunno why you'd take advice
from a woman with two failed marriages.
Because I'm a woman
with two failed marriages,
you loveless whore!
Ugh!
This is what happens
when there's no booze, Mary.
[pensive music playing]
Well…
While you're at the grocery store,
we're out of breakfast sausage.
Is it too much?
No, you look amazing.
But are you sure it's wise
to be going out on a date
while you guys have this big,
huge "maybe" hanging over your heads?
What am I supposed to do?
Andrew's had the opera tickets for months.
Opera? And he had months to get out of it?
He said he just wants us to be us
and enjoy each other
like we normally would.
And you think
you guys are capable of doing that?
Hopefully. I don't know.
Why are you asking me the hard questions?
You're making me sweat.
Lift your arms. I'll fan you.
-At least I only have one armpit to stain.
-Mm.
Better?
Yeah.
I'm just gonna say this once,
and I want you to really hear me.
I'm so glad I'm not you.
Well, that sucked,
but at least we didn't understand it.
The best part is when
I took my Spanx off at intermission.
I hope I still get credit
for trying to impress you.
You don't have to do that.
Yes, I do! ♪
My gosh, what am I thinking?
"'That I have a really beautiful voice,'
he said hopefully."
You have a beautiful everything.
And I would love nothing more
than to hear you sing every day
for the rest of my life.
What are you saying, Leanne?
I'm saying "yes."
I wanna marry you.
Wait, what? For real?
Yes, for real. I'm crazy about you,
and I'd be crazy to let you get away.
Yeah, that's what I've been thinking
the last few days.
Are you sure?
I am! ♪
It's scary out there, isn't it?
Got a sec?
Is it more important
than a parrot riding a tiny bicycle?
Something's weighing on me.
I need to tell you or else I won't sleep.
All right, but make it snappy.
I already took an Ambien.
I may have finally gotten back to Andrew.
-All right, good night.
-Wait
The naked finger tells the tale.
How'd he take it?
Really well, because I said "yes."
Good night.
Freeze!
What did you just say?
Come on, Carol. A man like Andrew
only comes along once in a lifetime.
You drank the book-club Kool-Aid.
Maybe it's yummy.
You're so predictable.
What does that mean?
You went running back to the guy
when you had a chance to be on your own
and, God forbid, find yourself.
-I've been alone since Bill left me.
-No, you haven't.
And the reason I know that is because
since Bill left you, I haven't been alone.
-That's not true.
-Oh, yes, it is.
You don't eat alone, sleep alone.
You don't even go to the bathroom alone.
You keep the door cracked
so we can keep talking.
That's what sisters do.
It's in the manual,
right after "braiding each other's hair."
I was hoping you'd be happy for me.
But you know what? I'm done.
I'm happy for me.
Good for you.
It is good.
In fact, it's great. Sleep tight.
You too! Sweet dreams!
Don't forget your mouth guard.
And I have been alone.
Spring break, junior year, I had mono.
That's not being alone.
That's being in quarantine.
And the three guys you gave it to
came over to watch TV.
I'm gonna go pee with the door closed.
And if you have anything else to say,
I'm not gonna hear it.
[lilting music playing]
-Just one?
-Yep.
Right this way.
Just me, all alone.
Solo.
Just one today?
Yes, why does everybody
keep asking me that?
Can I get you
something to drink? Appetizer?
I'll take a Diet Coke
with a twist of lime, 'cause I'm fancy.
What do you recommend?
Well, mozzarella sticks
are kind of our thing.
Where are you from? I hear an accent.
Milwaukee.
I knew it.
What brings you to our fair city?
Oh, college, but that didn't work out.
So, fried mozz?
Why nozz?
Ooh. Grazie.
Your family's still in Milwau--?
Okay.
Looks like you got
a real page-turner over there.
Mm?
Oh, uh, yes.
Got an extra Splenda if you want it.
I'm good.
I'm trying to prove a point to my sister
that I can be alone, so here I am.
Here you are.
I thought going out to eat by myself
was a good place to start,
but I gotta tell you, I'm struggling.
Well, I'm pulling for you.
You make it look easy. Any hints?
Bring a book so people will know
you don't wanna talk to them.
Sorry.
No need. But I got a feeling
you say that far too often.
I do. Sorry.
Try to keep in mind
that no one is looking at you.
No one is paying attention to you.
People are mostly
wrapped up in themselves.
There's freedom in that.
I'm not sure I'll ever get there.
Well, it's not for everyone,
but if you can't be happy eating alone,
how happy can you be
eating with somebody else?
I wanna sit with you so bad,
but I'm not gonna do it.
Thank you.
-Hey, you.
-Hey.
This is a nice surprise.
If you've come for the ring, it's inside.
I just have to swing by the pawn shop
and talk to my friend
about something totally unrelated.
I don't wanna come in
because I'll get cozy on your couch,
then you'll pour me a nice glass of wine,
and then we'll start making out.
Yeah, that'd be terrible.
About your proposal. I have a proposal.
Vegas?
Um, what if we set a date
a couple or five years from now,
and if it doesn't feel right then,
we push back another year?
What's going on, Leanne?
[sighs] I did some soul-searching today
over some mozzarella sticks.
The cold hard fact is,
I don't know how to be alone.
You don't have to be.
No, I do.
I've spent my whole life
being someone else's something.
A daughter, a wife, a mother.
It might be time for me
to figure out who I am.
Just me.
Well,
I mastered the art of being alone
until I met you.
So it appears we might be
at a bit of a crossroads.
Can we just keep things
the way they are until we figure it out?
I'm not saying this to be vindictive
or to make you feel bad, but…
I'm gonna have to get back to you.
[poignant music playing]
-Hi.
-Hi.
-Everything okay?
-Yeah.
You're a real booger.
You're right,
but I'm gonna need more context.
I'm the older sister around here,
and don't you forget it.
Oh, don't worry. I will always lord
my youth and vitality over you.
It's not the natural order of things
for me to be learning lessons from you.
It'll never happen again.
What did I teach you?
I had lunch alone.
Big step.
Huge.
Not super good at it,
but hope I can get the hang of it someday.
You will.
Fingers crossed,
because there's gonna be a lot more of it.
Oh…
Yeah.
I think me and Andrew are on a break.
I'm so sorry.
How's he taking it?
I don't know,
but I'm sure he's doing it handsomely.
And how are you feeling about all of it?
I don't know.
Look. [clears throat]
You are sailing in uncharted waters,
and I'm proud of you.
-You are?
-Yes.
You chose you.
And that's really brave.
You're gonna be okay.
Thank you.
I think it's right.
I just feel really, really awful.
No idea what to do now,
except maybe take to the bed.
You want me to come with?
No, this is something
I gotta do by myself.
[Leanne sniffles]
Look, you tried.
[gentle music playing]
[closing theme music playing]
Leanne ♪
Leanne ♪
[Leanne] Three months.
[Andrew] Three long months.
I hate it when the FBI
takes you away from me.
Thankfully, we got through it unscathed.
Except when I accidentally looped you
into that crime scene group chat.
I'm sorry I hearted that photo.
I thought I was looking
at heads in a wig shop.
Can you tell me about Quantico,
or is that hush-hush FBI stuff?
It's really pretty boring.
Really?
Because I see you in a tuxedo,
sipping your martini,
shooting people with your umbrella.
[laughs] I'm not a spy.
That's what a spy would say.
I don't think James Bond ever stayed
in an Econo Lodge next to the ice maker.
That's the last place they would look
for someone who can kill a man
with a string and a paper clip.
[chuckles] I'm not MacGyver, either.
That's what MacGyver would say.
Leanne, um…
[clears throat]
I have a confession to make.
Did you watch
the Below Deck finale without me?
Because I think I did the same.
I broke a promise we made to each other.
Are you doing this in a public place
so I don't flip this table
and beat you with my purse?
Because I will do it regardless.
I know we agreed neither of us
wants to get married again,
but… [sighs] …what can I say?
I got to know you and love you.
And after these past three months,
I don't ever want to be without you again.
Leanne Murphy,
will you marry me?
Oh, my gosh.
I'm going to have to get back to you.
Leanne ♪
[Carol] "I'm going to have
to get back to you"?
I was flummoxed.
He sprung it on me before the entrée.
Doesn't he know
to wait till dessert in case it's a "no"?
[Carol sucks teeth]
That cocky son of a bitch.
He thought he had it in the bag.
Thank goodness
we ordered the seafood tower.
Gave me something to hide behind.
No, no, no. This is on him.
A proposal should only happen
when the woman is beyond ready.
Exactly.
When she's overripe like a peach
that falls off a tree,
rolls down the hill,
and is rotting on the ground.
When all the magic's gone.
And then he pops the question.
That is tradition.
Thank you.
Let me ask you something.
If he waited, would you have said "yes"?
It's like, "yes" was right here,
my divorce was right there,
and then "maybe" just popped out
like a soda burp you can't stop.
[Carol] Mm.
The answer that
was supposed to come out came out.
But I really haven't given him an answer.
Oh, yes, you did. "I'll get back to you"
is just a long, slow, agonizing "no."
The cruelest of the noes.
Did I blow it?
No, we just agreed he blew it.
Hell, by loving me?
I'm confused how to help you now.
Why didn't I just say "yes"?
Because it didn't feel right.
What did I just do?
Listened to your heart.
"Listened to your heart."
Do you even hear yourself?
I'm going to walk away now
because this will get physical.
Don't.
Look, yeah, again, confused.
Hold me.
[lilting music playing]
How is it we're always
the ones late to the book club?
We just live across the street.
Because it pisses Mary off,
and I enjoy that.
She's going to be extra mad.
I didn't read the book.
-You're going to have to cover for me.
-I never read the book.
And can we not bring up the Andrew thing?
I don't want to lay it out
for all those hens to pick at.
Oh, relax, I just go for the free cheese.
Hey, y'all.
Sorry we're late.
Traffic on our porch was nuts.
Where's the Chardonnay?
[gasps] Oh, sitting on the counter
in our kitchen.
-[in unison] I'll go get it.
-No.
Book discourse begins now.
Chapters 12 through 14,
or as I interpreted them,
Maria's walk through the fire.
[Mary laughs]
Response?
Rebuttal?
-Andrew proposed to me.
-[women gasping]
Pull it back, she told him "maybe."
"Maybe"?
Well, technically,
I told him I'd get back to him.
That's just a slow, agonizing "no."
That's what I said.
Why does everyone know this, and I don't?
Because you have the emotional
intelligence of a Marshmallow Peep.
Hey, Peep wasn't ready. Back off!
Peep?
Is that what y'all are calling me
behind my back?
[mouths]
Leanne, do you understand
what happened here?
A 60-year-old woman
was proposed to by a man
who has hair, a job,
and no visible skin tags.
Leanne, what were you thinking?
He didn't give me a chance.
I was blindsided.
It's like Andrew went to the pound
to adopt the oldest cat,
and the cat said, "I'll think about it."
Maybe the old cat had her reasons.
Like what?
I'll take my chances with euthanasia?
What is wrong with you people?
Leanne listened to her heart,
and we're gonna support her.
Hearts can be wrong, Carol.
I know mine was.
After I lost my precious Jerry,
I had a suitor.
[scoffs] If you're talking about
that old greeter at Walmart,
he thinks we're all sexy mamas.
My sister set me up on a blind date.
Oh, he was a real gentleman,
and I'll be honest, there were sparks.
We connected on so many levels.
Puzzles, the Bible, Bible puzzles.
There really is a lid for every pot.
Oh, then I fell deep down
a regrettable well called
"What Will People Think?"
Is it disrespectful to Jerry?
How awkward is heaven gonna be
with two husbands?
If there's no wine, I'll take a paper bag
and a can of spray paint.
So I broke things off
and assumed I'd have more chances at love,
but I never got a bite
from that apple again.
We're both gonna die alone.
We all have the one that got away.
I wish.
Y'all resent me
for stealing your boyfriends,
but the sad fact is, I was never in love
with any of those losers.
Wish I'd known that
before I keyed your car.
I would've gone deeper.
What I'm trying to say is,
Leanne, you're lucky to be in love.
Don't throw that away.
Oh my Lord, what have I done?
No, no, no. These sea hags
are trying to scare you straight.
Listen to your gut.
I dunno why you'd take advice
from a woman with two failed marriages.
Because I'm a woman
with two failed marriages,
you loveless whore!
Ugh!
This is what happens
when there's no booze, Mary.
[pensive music playing]
Well…
While you're at the grocery store,
we're out of breakfast sausage.
Is it too much?
No, you look amazing.
But are you sure it's wise
to be going out on a date
while you guys have this big,
huge "maybe" hanging over your heads?
What am I supposed to do?
Andrew's had the opera tickets for months.
Opera? And he had months to get out of it?
He said he just wants us to be us
and enjoy each other
like we normally would.
And you think
you guys are capable of doing that?
Hopefully. I don't know.
Why are you asking me the hard questions?
You're making me sweat.
Lift your arms. I'll fan you.
-At least I only have one armpit to stain.
-Mm.
Better?
Yeah.
I'm just gonna say this once,
and I want you to really hear me.
I'm so glad I'm not you.
Well, that sucked,
but at least we didn't understand it.
The best part is when
I took my Spanx off at intermission.
I hope I still get credit
for trying to impress you.
You don't have to do that.
Yes, I do! ♪
My gosh, what am I thinking?
"'That I have a really beautiful voice,'
he said hopefully."
You have a beautiful everything.
And I would love nothing more
than to hear you sing every day
for the rest of my life.
What are you saying, Leanne?
I'm saying "yes."
I wanna marry you.
Wait, what? For real?
Yes, for real. I'm crazy about you,
and I'd be crazy to let you get away.
Yeah, that's what I've been thinking
the last few days.
Are you sure?
I am! ♪
It's scary out there, isn't it?
Got a sec?
Is it more important
than a parrot riding a tiny bicycle?
Something's weighing on me.
I need to tell you or else I won't sleep.
All right, but make it snappy.
I already took an Ambien.
I may have finally gotten back to Andrew.
-All right, good night.
-Wait
The naked finger tells the tale.
How'd he take it?
Really well, because I said "yes."
Good night.
Freeze!
What did you just say?
Come on, Carol. A man like Andrew
only comes along once in a lifetime.
You drank the book-club Kool-Aid.
Maybe it's yummy.
You're so predictable.
What does that mean?
You went running back to the guy
when you had a chance to be on your own
and, God forbid, find yourself.
-I've been alone since Bill left me.
-No, you haven't.
And the reason I know that is because
since Bill left you, I haven't been alone.
-That's not true.
-Oh, yes, it is.
You don't eat alone, sleep alone.
You don't even go to the bathroom alone.
You keep the door cracked
so we can keep talking.
That's what sisters do.
It's in the manual,
right after "braiding each other's hair."
I was hoping you'd be happy for me.
But you know what? I'm done.
I'm happy for me.
Good for you.
It is good.
In fact, it's great. Sleep tight.
You too! Sweet dreams!
Don't forget your mouth guard.
And I have been alone.
Spring break, junior year, I had mono.
That's not being alone.
That's being in quarantine.
And the three guys you gave it to
came over to watch TV.
I'm gonna go pee with the door closed.
And if you have anything else to say,
I'm not gonna hear it.
[lilting music playing]
-Just one?
-Yep.
Right this way.
Just me, all alone.
Solo.
Just one today?
Yes, why does everybody
keep asking me that?
Can I get you
something to drink? Appetizer?
I'll take a Diet Coke
with a twist of lime, 'cause I'm fancy.
What do you recommend?
Well, mozzarella sticks
are kind of our thing.
Where are you from? I hear an accent.
Milwaukee.
I knew it.
What brings you to our fair city?
Oh, college, but that didn't work out.
So, fried mozz?
Why nozz?
Ooh. Grazie.
Your family's still in Milwau--?
Okay.
Looks like you got
a real page-turner over there.
Mm?
Oh, uh, yes.
Got an extra Splenda if you want it.
I'm good.
I'm trying to prove a point to my sister
that I can be alone, so here I am.
Here you are.
I thought going out to eat by myself
was a good place to start,
but I gotta tell you, I'm struggling.
Well, I'm pulling for you.
You make it look easy. Any hints?
Bring a book so people will know
you don't wanna talk to them.
Sorry.
No need. But I got a feeling
you say that far too often.
I do. Sorry.
Try to keep in mind
that no one is looking at you.
No one is paying attention to you.
People are mostly
wrapped up in themselves.
There's freedom in that.
I'm not sure I'll ever get there.
Well, it's not for everyone,
but if you can't be happy eating alone,
how happy can you be
eating with somebody else?
I wanna sit with you so bad,
but I'm not gonna do it.
Thank you.
-Hey, you.
-Hey.
This is a nice surprise.
If you've come for the ring, it's inside.
I just have to swing by the pawn shop
and talk to my friend
about something totally unrelated.
I don't wanna come in
because I'll get cozy on your couch,
then you'll pour me a nice glass of wine,
and then we'll start making out.
Yeah, that'd be terrible.
About your proposal. I have a proposal.
Vegas?
Um, what if we set a date
a couple or five years from now,
and if it doesn't feel right then,
we push back another year?
What's going on, Leanne?
[sighs] I did some soul-searching today
over some mozzarella sticks.
The cold hard fact is,
I don't know how to be alone.
You don't have to be.
No, I do.
I've spent my whole life
being someone else's something.
A daughter, a wife, a mother.
It might be time for me
to figure out who I am.
Just me.
Well,
I mastered the art of being alone
until I met you.
So it appears we might be
at a bit of a crossroads.
Can we just keep things
the way they are until we figure it out?
I'm not saying this to be vindictive
or to make you feel bad, but…
I'm gonna have to get back to you.
[poignant music playing]
-Hi.
-Hi.
-Everything okay?
-Yeah.
You're a real booger.
You're right,
but I'm gonna need more context.
I'm the older sister around here,
and don't you forget it.
Oh, don't worry. I will always lord
my youth and vitality over you.
It's not the natural order of things
for me to be learning lessons from you.
It'll never happen again.
What did I teach you?
I had lunch alone.
Big step.
Huge.
Not super good at it,
but hope I can get the hang of it someday.
You will.
Fingers crossed,
because there's gonna be a lot more of it.
Oh…
Yeah.
I think me and Andrew are on a break.
I'm so sorry.
How's he taking it?
I don't know,
but I'm sure he's doing it handsomely.
And how are you feeling about all of it?
I don't know.
Look. [clears throat]
You are sailing in uncharted waters,
and I'm proud of you.
-You are?
-Yes.
You chose you.
And that's really brave.
You're gonna be okay.
Thank you.
I think it's right.
I just feel really, really awful.
No idea what to do now,
except maybe take to the bed.
You want me to come with?
No, this is something
I gotta do by myself.
[Leanne sniffles]
Look, you tried.
[gentle music playing]
[closing theme music playing]
Leanne ♪
Leanne ♪