Level Up (2012) s02e03 Episode Script
Should She Stay or Should She Go?
[ BOING! BOING! BOING! ]
[ LAUGHING ]
[ ALL SHOUT ]
COME HERE, YOU BOUNCY,
HOPPING SCHLEEL HOPPER,
SO I CAN BURN YOU!
[ SCREAMS ]
OHH!
I GOT HIM!
[ LAUGHS ]
[ SCREAMS ]
[ BOING! BOING! BOING! ]
FUJITA BONITA!
[ WHIMPERS ]
[ LAUGHS ]
HEY!
[ GROWLS ]
TIME TO SAY BYE-BYE,
JUMPY.
HUZZAH!HUZZAH!
[ LAUGHS ]
[ BLOWS ]
GIVE ME SOME.
DA-DA-DA DA-DA DA
[ CRACKLING ]
[ SCREAMS ]
OH!
LITTLE HELP HERE.
THAT IS NOT RIGHT!
MNH-MNH.
IT'S OKAY, GUYS.
I GOT THIS.
[ TING! ]
MM.
[ SCREAMING ]
OH! OHHH!
THANKS, ANGE.
HUZZAH, GENTLEMEN.
HUZZAH.
[ ELECTRICITY ZAPPING ]
WHOO! HA HA!
OUR FIRS
SCHLEEL HOPPER BARDING!
YO, DID YOU SEE
HOW MY WIND SPELL
PUSHED THAT HOPPER
RIGHT TOWARDS ANGIE?
WELL
BIG DEAL! I CAN MAKE WIND
WHENEVER I WANT.
UGH. BUT I'M TALKING
MAGIC, NOT TRAGIC.
NOBODY HAS TO BURN
THEIR UNDERWEAR AFTER.
[ Sarcastically ]
OH, YAY!
WE'RE TALKING
ABOUT UNDERWEAR ON FIRE --
AGAIN.
I'M OUT, NERDS.
OH, ANGIE!
YOU CAN'T LEAVE NOW!
WE'RE ABOUT TO RIDE
THIS WAVE OF BARDING GLORY
INTO A GAME
OF CONQUEROR OF ALL WORLDS.
YEAH! STAY.
I FIGHT LEAKS
IN THE REAL WORLD.
I DON'T PLAY THE GAME
IN YOUR FAKE WORLD.
SO, CALL ME
WHEN YOU WANT ME
TO PUNCH SOMETHING
IN THE FACE AGAIN.
OHH!
AH DA DA DA
DA DA DA DA.
MM, SEE, BU
PLAYING THE GAME
WILL TEACH YOU ABOUT LEAKS
BEFORETHEY LEAK.
MM-HMM.
I DON'T NEED IT.
I'M A NATURAL, OKAY?
AND, BESIDES,
PLAYING THE GAME --
IT'S JUST A REASON FOR YOU GUYS
TO CALL EACH OTHER NAMES
AND STUFF YOUR FACES
WITH SNACKS.
NO.
PLEASE.
'SUP, SKUNKBUTTS?
I GOT THE
CHIZZA-CHIZZA-CHEEZOS!
Both: YES!YEAH!
GIVE ME O's!
OKAY.
Both: EAT, EAT, EAT,
EAT, EAT, EAT, EAT!
Wyatt: AAH!
THESE GLAMAZONS ARE REALLY
STRONG AND BEAUTIFUL!
I'M HAVING A LOT OF REALLY
STRANGE FEELINGS RIGHT NOW!
WHO CARES
IF THEY'RE PRETTY GIRLS?
THEY'VE GOT GOLD --
SHINY, SHINY GOLD.
YEAH, MAKES ME SAD
TO HAVE TO DO THIS,
BUT GLAMAZ-ON,
GLAMAZ-OFF!
OHHH!
OHHH!OHHH!
WHAT?!
[ GROANS, SIGHS ]
ANGIE REALLY SHOULD BE
PLAYING WITH US RIGHT NOW.
I MEAN,
WHO'D BE BETTER
AT FIGHTING A REALM
OF TOUGH CHICKS?
YEAH. ANGIE'S TOUGHER
THAN ANY OF THESE GLAMAZONS.
NO ONE CAN MESS
WITH HER FIST OF SCHOOLAGE.
THAT'S FOR DING-DANG SURE.
YEAH, ANGIE WOULD PU
THE SMACKDOWN
ON ALL THESE GLAMAZONS.
YEAH, JUST LIKE SHE DID
WITH THE SCHLEEL HOPPER.
DANTE, CHEEZOS!
YEAH, YEAH!
[ SIGHS ] HEY! I NEED
CLEAN MALT GLASSES -- STAT!
HEY, HEY, HEY!
ORDER SOMETHING OR LEAVE, OKAY?
THIS AIN'T A LIBRARY.
ONE NAPKIN PER VISIT!
WHAT DO YOU THINK, HUH?
PAPER GROWS ON TREES?!
YOU'RE RUNNING THIS EATERY
WITH AN IRON FIST.
I ADMIRE YOUR STRENGTH.OH. [ LAUGHS ]
WELL, YOU KNOW,
YOU GOT TO BE STRONG,
OR THEY'LL WALK
ALL OVER YOU.
SPEAKING OF IRON FISTS,
NICE BRACELETS!
I FORGED THEM
FROM THE FIERY MITHRAL
WITH MY BARE HANDS.
COOL.
SOMETIMES I TAKE SOCKS
AND TURN THEM
INTO FINGERLESS GLOVES.
YOUR VIGOR AND RESILIENCE
ARE IMPRESSIVE.
IT IS SO NICE TO HEAR
SOMEBODY ELSE SAY THAT,
BECAUSE WHEN IDO,
THEY THINK I'M BRAGGING.
SPEAKING OF GLAMAZONS,
DID YOU KNOW THAT DAVENTRY HILLS
HAS A LADY VARSITY
WRESTLING TEAM?
YEAH. WE SCRIMMAGE
AGAINST THEM.
WHAT?! WHEN?!
DO YOU NEED
ANY VOLUNTEER REFS?
FOCUS UP!
COME ON!
[ BEEPING ]
WHERE IS THE LEAK NOW?
OH.
GO!
SO I DUMPED THE PLATE
OF SPAGHETTI ALL OVER HIM,
AND I SAID, "HERE'S A TIP
FOR YOU --LEARN SOME MANNERS.
AND WASH YOUR SHIR
BEFORE THE STAIN SETS IN."
I ONCE THREW A MERCHAN
IN A RIVER
BECAUSE HE OVERCHARGED ME
FOR A HEADBAND.
JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE A PRETTY
FACE, PEOPLE THINK THAT
YOU WON'T TEAR
THEIR ARMS OFF.
JUST WALK
ALL OVER YOU!
[ GASPS ]
I LIKE YOURS BETTER.
I'M ANGIE, BY THE WAY.
GRINNELLA.
THAT'S SUCH
A PRETTY NAME.
BUT I BET THE STORES
NEVER HAVE I
ON THOSE
SOUVENIR KEY CHAINS.
THAT'S THE WAY IT GOES
WHEN YOU'RE NAMED
AFTER A HIGH PRIESTESS.
YOU'RE LUCKY. YOU MUS
BE NAMED AFTER AN ANGEL.
NOPE. NO.
"ANGIE" IS SHORT FOR "ANGELO."
I'M NAMED
AFTER MY DAD'S BROTHER.
HE SAYS HE INVENTED PLATES,
BUT I DON'T KNOW.
[ CHUCKLES ]
EVERY TIME WE HAVE HIM OVER
FOR DINNER,
HE'S LIKE, [ Italian accent]
"HELLO, HELLO! YOU'RE WELCOME!"
[ LAUGHS ]
[ LAUGHS ]
OH!
THAT'S ANEW KIND
OF HIGH FIVE.
OKAY.
[ GASPS ]
AW, NERTZ.
YOU'RENO
FROM AROUND HERE, ARE YOU?
I'LL SEE YOU SOON,
ANGIE.
ANGIE.
HAVE YOU SEEN ANYTHING
SUSPICIOUS AROUND HERE?
YEAH, ANYTHING,
UH, LEAKY?
MAYBE SOMETHING WITH HORNS
OR FANGS OR SCALES?
WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?
[ ALL GASP ]
HOLY ISOSCELES!
THAT'S THE GLAMAZONIAN BOND
OF COMMITMENT!
YEAH, DON'T EVER
PRESS YOUR HAND
AGAINST A GLAMAZON'S
LIKE THAT.UNH-UNH.
IT BONDS YOU TO COMPETE
AGAINST THE GLAMAZON
IN THE GLAMAZONIAN
DEATH CHALLENGE.
BLAH BLAH BLA--
DEATH CHALLENGE?
IF YOU WIN,
THEY CROWN YOU CHAMPION.
BUT IF YOU LOSE,
THEY [WHISTLES]
CHOP OFF YOUR HEAD.EW.
EXCUSE ME?
SOME GORGONS KICK IT AROUND
FOR A WHILE
AS A PAR
OF ANOTHER CHALLENGE.
THE WINNER OF THAT ONE
GETS TO EAT THE HEAD!
STRAWS AND MUSTARD!
I JUST COMMITTED TO
A GLAMAZONIAN DEATH CHALLENGE
WITH A GLAMAZON
NAMED GRINNELLA.
[ ALL GASP ]
GAH!
GUYS, WE CAN'T LET ANGIE
BATTLE THAT GLAMAZON ALONE.
WE GOT TO FIGURE OU
A WAY TO HELP HER.
HEY, WILL THIS HELP?
[ SQUEAKING ]
NO!
AND DON'T DO THAT!
THIS IS A FINELY TUNED
TOPOGRAPHICAL INSTRUMEN
FOR LEAK TRACKAGE.
[ SIGHS ]
WHERE'S
THE GLASS CLEANER?
CHECK IT.
IF I WARM UP WITH THIS WEIGH
BEFORE A BARDING,
MY SWING IMPROVES
AND I WON'T GET TIED
IN A KNOT AGAIN.
UGH!
WELLAT LEAS
THE GLASS SHARDS
DIDN'T HURT MY MODEL
OF THE USS CONSTITUTION.
[ CHUCKLES ]
[ WOMEN LAUGHING ]
THOSE SANDALS
LOOK AWESOME ON YOU.
THOSE SANDALS
LOOK AWESOME ON YOU.OH. [ CHUCKLES ]
HEY, GUYS.
THIS IS GRINNELLA.
SHE'S MY OPPONEN
FOR THE GLAMAZONIAN
DEATH CHALLENGE.
[ CHUCKLES ] WE JUST WEN
SHOE SHOPPING TOGETHER.
[ TING! ]
[ CHUCKLES ]
NEVER WOULD HAVE GUESSED.
I'M A MEN'S 12.
AND I'M A KIDS' 4.
GRINNELLA,
THIS IS WYATT, LYLE, AND
[ WHIMPERING ]
[ SIGHS ] DANTE.
SO, GRINNELLA,
WHY DID YOU PICK OUR ANGIE
FOR YOUR DEATH CHALLENGE?
YEAH. SHE DOESN'T EVEN
PLAY THE GAME.
I OVERHEARD
HOW STRONG ANGIE IS,
AND I THOUGH
SHE'D MAKE IT INTERESTING.
YOU KNOW,
IT'S NOT ALL BAD.
AT LEAST GRINNELLA AND I
ARE HITTING IT OFF.
[ CHUCKLES ]
SO, ONE OF US IS GONNA WIN
AND THE OTHER ONE'S GONNA DIE.
[ CHUCKLES ]
WE'RE LIKE BEST BUDS --
TWO PEANUTS
IN A SHELL, REALLY.
SHE'S JUST THE BEST FRIEND
I COULD EVER --
TULTA MUNILLE!
HUZZAH!
NO MORE GLAMAZONIAN
DEATH CHALLENGE FOR MOI.
WHAT'D YOU DO THAT FOR?
I THOUGHT YOU SAID THA
GRINNELLA WAS YOUR NEW BFF.
WE'RE BFs, OKAY?
IT COULDN'T REALLY BE FOREVER
BECAUSE, YOU KNOW,
ONE OF US WAS GONNA DIE.
NERTZ!
PLEASE DON'T DO THAT AGAIN.
PORTAL TRAVEL IS SUCH A PAIN
THIS TIME OF YEAR.
ANGIE,
IF YOU PLAYED THE GAME,
YOU'D KNOW
YOU CAN'T BARD A GLAMAZON
ONCE YOU'VE ENGAGED IN THE
GLAMAZONIAN BOND OF COMMITMENT.
OKAY.
CAN WE JUST FORGE
THIS WHOLE GLAMAZONIAN
DEATH CHALLENGE THING?
FRIENDS
DO NOT LET FRIENDS
CUT EACH OTHER'S
HEADS OFF.
THEY DO
WHERE I COME FROM.
[ WHIP! ]
[ WHIP! ]
[ WHIP! ]
HELLO.
HELLO.
ARE YOU ANGIE PRIETTO?
UHHHHNO.
WHO WAS THAT?
UM [SNAPS FINGERS]
NOBODY.
OKAY.
AS I WAS SAYING
AAAAH!
AAAAH!AAAAH!
THE GLAMAZONIAN
DEATH CHALLENGE
CONSISTS OF THREE EVENTS.
THE FIRST TO WIN TWO
SHALL BE CROWNED VICTOR.
THE LOSER SHALL NOT BE CROWNED,
FOR SHE WILL NOT HAVE A HEAD.
MAKES SENSE.
I NOW PRESENT THE FIRST EVENT IN
THE GLAMAZONIAN DEATH CHALLENGE.
HMM.
OKAY.HMM.
[ WHISTLES ]
SCROLL ISSUES?
I HAVE SOME PROBLEMS
WITH SCROLLS,
BUT LET ME TELL YOU --
WHEN MESSAGES WERE SEN
ON STONE TABLETS, I WAS THE BE--
WILL YOU JUST READ
THE MESSAGE?!
THE FIRST EVEN
IN THE GLAMAZONIAN
DEATH CHALLENGE IS
THIS IS WHERE I PAUSE
FOR DRAMATIC TENSION.
A RACE ON FOOL.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
WHAT?
OH, THAT'S A "T"!
[ CHUCKLES ]
A RACE ON FOOT.
OH. GRINNELLA'S
GONNA EAT MY HEAD.
SHH.
THAT'S A DIFFERENT CHALLENGE.
WELL, I KNOW
FROM PLAYING THE GAME
THAT THE HOST GETS TO CHOOSE
THE RACECOURSE.
SO WE CAN DESIGN A COURSE
THAT WILL GIVE ANGIE
A FIGHTING CHANCE.
RUNNERS, FOLLOW ME.
I'M SETTING
THE RACECOURSE.
IS EVERYBODY READY?
READY!
LET US COMMENCE.
I SAID "EVERYBODY."
OH! READY! READY!
HAH! ROGER THAT. COPY THAT.DON'T LET ME DOWN, BOYS.
I'M WATCHING
SOME GLAMAZONS,
AND THEY ARE ROASTING
A DIRE BOAR ON A SPIT.
THESE GIRLS LOVE THEIR BARBECUE.
COPY THAT. ROGER THAT.
ROGER, ROGER, COPY.
OVER.
LET'S RUN THEM BY
THE PORK IN THE ROAD RESTAURANT.
ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT.
THEN YOU WANT TO HEAD UP
BELUGA AVENUE
AND THEN OVER
TO ORCA LANE. BAM!
GOT IT.
ON YOUR MARKS
GET SET
GO!
[ PANTING ]
[ LAUGHS ]
Approaching the barbecue.
[ SNIFFS ]
COME ON! COME ON!
COME ON!
AAAHH!
YEAH!
COME ON!
YEAH!
MMM. MMM.
UGH!
[ PIG SQUEALS ]SO, WHAT'S NEXT?
THE SECOND EVEN
IN THE GLAMAZONIAN
DEATH CHALLENGE IS
[ WHIP! ]
PUGIL STICKS.
What are pugil sticks?
I'll show you.
[ CHUCKLES ]
HEY!
HEY! NO!
GAAAAH!
AAAAAAAH!
[ ALL SHOUTING ]
SEE?
NOW WATCH, WATCH, WATCH.
READY?OHHH!
[ LAUGHS ]
UGH!
[ WHOOSH! WHOOSH! WHOOSH!
WHOOSH! WHOOSH! ]
[ SIGHS ]
[ TRILLS TONGUE ]
HA! OH, NO! WAIT!
THIS SHOULD BE AN EVEN
IN THE MULTINATIONAL,
SEMI-ANNUAL SPORTING FESTIVAL.
[ GRUNTS ]
HUH! HA! HEE!
MM, THEY SHOULD HAVE THAT.
IF ONLY IT HAD A NAME.
[ SQUEALS ]
SO, SHOULD WE BE WORRIED
FOR ANGIE, OR
[ TRILLS TONGUE ]
NAH, THE LOW CENTER OF GRAVITY
DUE TO HER STUBBY LEGS
WORKS IN HER FAVOR HERE.
OW! UGH!
COME ON, ANGIE!
[ GRUNTS ]
OW!
OOH.
TAKE IT EASY ON ME,
OKAY?
WE BOUGHT SANDALS
TOGETHER.
WE'RE BESTIES!
UGH!
I LIKE AND RESPECT YOU
TOO MUCH TO HOLD BACK.[ GROANS ]
PLUS, I DON'T WANT TO GET
MYHEAD CHOPPED OFF.
THAT MAKES SENSE.
[ GASPS ]
WE SHOULD BE GOING
TO THE MOVIES TOGETHER
AND SHARING A GIANT POPCORN
AND BOOING ALL THE PREVIEWS!
THAT DOESSOUND LIKE FUN,
EVEN THOUGH I DON'T KNOW
WHAT A MOVIE OR POPCORN IS.
OHHHHHHHH.
HO HO HO!
BRAVO!
REALLY? I'M ONE EVENT AWAY FROM
GETTING MY HEAD CHOPPED OFF!
[ CLAPPING ]
I SEE TALENT,
I APPLAUD IT.
WHAT NOW?
THE FINAL EVENT IN
THE GLAMAZONIAN DEATH CHALLENGE
ISARCHERY.
ARCHERY?
[ THUNK! WHIP! ]
[ PING! ]
I'M TERRIBLE
AT ARCHERY.
SINCE THAT WAS
MY LAST MESSAGE,
I WAS WONDERING IF YOU'D
PARTICIPATE IN A BRIEF SURVEY.
NO.
WOULD YOU SAY THAT YOU ARE,
1, EXTREMELY SATISFIED,
2, VERY SATISFIED,
OR, 3, SUPERLY DUPERLY
SATISFIED?
OKAY. OKAY.
EXTREMELY SATISFIED
IT IS, THEN.
[ GRUNTS ]
[ British accent ]
AFTER NINE ARROWS EACH,
ANGIE AND GRINNELLA
ARE TIED.
IF ANGIE DOESN'T MAKE
THIS LAST SHOT,
SHE'S A GONER.
[ British accent ]
I REALLY THOUGH
BRAIDING HER HAIR LIKE THA
WOULD HELP.
OH MAN, I SPEN
ALL NIGHT ON THE INTERNE
LEARNING HOW TO DO THAT.
AW!
OKAY. WE HAVE
A SEVEN-MILE-AN-HOUR WIND
FROM SOUTH-SOUTHWEST.
AIM SIX INCHES TO THE RIGH
AND TWO INCHES HIGH.
Lyle:
UH-HUH.
Just aim for the red dot.
NO! WAIT.
WYATT'S WEATHER MACHINE
AND YOUR RED-DOT GENERATOR
AREN'T ENOUGH.
WHAT?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
DUN-NUH, DUH-DUN-NUH,
DUH-DUH ♪
HEY, ANGIE!
I LIED!
I NEVER WANTED TO MAKE
A SKATING MASCOT VIDEO WITH YOU.
YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY?
WHY?
'Cause you skate
like a girl.
[ GASPS ]
YEAH!
[ CHEERING ]
ANGIE WON!
YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!
All: [ Chanting ] GRINNELLA'S
GETTING HER HEAD CHOPPED OFF!
GRINNELLA'S GETTING
HER HEAD CHOPPED OFF!
GRINNELLA'S GE--
TWO.
TWO'S ENOUGH.
WHOA.
HOLY
OH.
WHOA.HEY.
[ WHIP! ]
SISTERS OF GLAMAZON ISLAND,
WE HAVE A NEW CHAMPION
IN THE GLAMAZONIAN
DEATH CHALLENGE.
[ APPLAUSE ]
AS LOSER OF THE CHALLENGE,
GRINNELLA SHALL HAVE
HER HEAD CHOPPED OFF.
NO. W-WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
OKAY. GRINNELLA'S MY FRIEND.
AND I DON'T WANT HER
TO GET HER HEAD CHOPPED OFF.
TOO BAD.
NOW WE WILL AWARD THE WINNER
WITH HER GIFTS.
GIFTS?
COME.
[ CHUCKLES ]
FIRST, I PRESENT YOU WITH
THE TIARA OF PROFOUND GLORY.
PSHAW! YEAH!
THIS IS NICE!
[ CHUCKLES ]
I KIND OF FEEL LIKE A QUEEN.
Lyle:
OOH. LOOKS GOOD, ANGE.
SHINY.
NO.
AND NOW FOR THE GRAND PRIZE --
WE'RE CHANGING IT UP THIS YEAR
TO KEEP THINGS FRESH.
AS WINNER, ANGIE WILL RECEIVE
THE GREAT HONOR
OF BEING SACRIFICED
TO THE GORGON RHEA.
[ Laughing ]
WOW! THAT'S SO GREAT!
THAT'S SO GREAT!
WHAT?
SACRIFICED?
WELL, SHE TURNS YOU TO STONE.
YEAH. THAT STILL DOESN'T SOUND
LIKE A PRIZE.
WE HAVE TO SACRIFICE SOMEONE SO
RHEA WON'T DESTROY OUR ISLAND.
AND WHO BETTER THAN THE WINNER
OF THE DEATH CHALLENGE?
OH, ANGIE.
HOW LUCKY YOU ARE.
I WOULD'VE CHERISHED THE HONOR
TO HAVE BEEN SACRIFICED TO RHEA.
LUCKY?
WHAT IS WRONG
WITH YOU PEOPLE?!
THE PRIZE FOR WINNING
A DEATH CHALLENGE IS DEATH?!
THAT IS THE WORST PRIZE
EVER!
I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU DIDN'T TELL ME
THAT THE PRIZE FOR WINNING
THE GLAMAZONIAN DEATH CHALLENGE
IS DEATH!
WE DID NOT KNOW
THAT THAT WAS THE PRIZE.
DID WE?
NO. WE DON'T KNOW EVERYTHING
ABOUT THE GAME, ANGE.
THAT'S WHY WE KEEP PLAYING.[ DING! ]
AND THAT'S
WHY YOU SHOULD PLAY.
AND IT'S FUN!
YOU CAN ANONYMOUSLY TALK TRASH
TO PEOPLE AND GET AWAY WITH IT.
WE ARE GONNA FIGURE OU
A WAY TO SAVE YOU.
[ INHALES SHARPLY ]
WE NEED OUR ANGIE.
OH.
YOU NEED ME?
YEAH!
WELL
WELL, I MEAN, THE THREE OF US
ARE OKAY,
BUT THE FOUR OF US
ARE AMAZING.
DANG IT!
THAT'S SWEET!
DON'T SAY SWEET THINGS
WHEN I'M MAD AT YOU GUYS.
[ SIGHS ]
OKAY. JUST FIGURE OUT A WAY
TO SAVE ME FROM THAT GORGON.
HMM
MM
HMM
Rhea:
BRING HER TO ME.
OKAY!
THERE'S NO REASON TO PUSH!
[ SNAKES HISS ]AH!
THE ONE TO BE SACRIFICED.
I APPROVE.
SHE'S MUCH SHORTER
THAN THE OTHERS. THAT'S GOOD.
BECAUSE WHEN SHE'S
A STONE STATUE,
I WON'T HAVE TO GET A LADDER
TO DUST HER.
OKAY, SERIOUSLY,
I'M ABOUT TO BE SACRIFICED,
AND YOU STOP TO MAKE A CRACK
ABOUT MY HEIGHT?
ANGIE,
I KNOW IT PROBABLY HURTS
TO CRANE YOUR NECK UP
LIKE THAT.
BUT LOOK INTO MY EYES.
YOU'LL FOREVER STAY YOUNG
AND BEAUTIFUL.
LOOK.
NO.
[ Singsong voice ]
LOOK.
NO!
[ Normal voice ]
LOOK.
LOOK!
YAH!
AAH!
HA!
SORRY, LADIES!
IT'S BARDING TIME!
[ HISSES ]
[ SCREAMING ]
[ SCREAMING STOPS ]
AAH!
GREAT.
MORE JUNK FOR MY GARAGE.
NOW LOOK INTO MY EYES,
ANGIE.
ANGIE!
[ GRUNTS ]
CATCH!
OKAY. I DON'T REALLY CARE WHAT I
LOOK LIKE RIGHT NOW, SO
USE IT ON RHEA!
UGH.
NO! I'M NOT FALLING
FOR THAT OLD MIRROR TRICK!
YES, YOU ARE!
OW!
[ GRUNTS ]
WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME
I LOOK LIKE THIS?
[ HISSES ]
[ ENERGY PULSES ]
[ GASPS ]
[ LAUGHS ]
HUZZAH!
[ ENERGY PULSES ]
[ SCREAMING RESUMES, FADES ]
WHAT HAPPENED?
HUZZAH!
HUZZAH?
[ CLICKS TONGUE ]
HUZZAH!
HUZZAH!HUZZAH!
[ LAUGHS ]
WAY TO GO, ANGIE!
THOUGH IT WAS COOL
BEING A ROCK.
MAN!
OH!
I GOT MOSS IN MY ARMPITS!
SWEET!
GRINNELLA, HOW DARE YOU DISHONOR
THE RULES OF OUR PEOPLE.
WELL.
THE ONLY THING SHE DISHONORED
WAS THAT SNAKE LADY'S FACE.
Grinnella:
I'M SORRY, MY QUEEN.
I COULD NOT STAND BY
AND LET MY BESTIE ANGIE
BE SACRIFICED.YEAH.
BESIDES, WE'VE RID THE WORLD
OF THE GORGON RHEA.
WE'RE FREE OF HER FOREVER.
OH, RIGHT! I GUESS.
HEY, YES!
JUST GOT A LITTLE TRIPPED UP
WITH THE RULE CHANGE.
LADIES
[ WHIP! ]
[ WHIP! ]
[ Laughing ]
GOOD WORK, EVERYONE.
FABULOUS.
HEY, ANGIE!
WE'RE PLAYING
CONQUERER OF ALL WORLDS TONIGHT.
I HOPE YOU NOW KNOW
THE VALUE OF JOINING US.
UH, NO.
THE GAME'S A WASTE OF MY TIME.
BUT, DUDE, WE NEED YOU
TO FIGHT LEAKS!
AND YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE
GAME TO KNOW ABOUT THE LEAKS.
YOU ALMOS
GOT TURNED TO STONE!
YOU DID
GET TURNED TO STONE.
AND THE MOSS HAS SPREAD
TO MY CHEST! [ LAUGHS ]
OH
MOIST AND COOL.
LOVE IT.
IF GRINNELLA HADN'T THROWN YOU
THAT MIRROR,
YOU WOULD'VE BEEN BORKED.
WELL, I COULD'VE
JUST SQUEEZED THE JUICE
OUT OF A THOUSAND
BRISK BERRIES
AND LET THE POOL OF JUICE HARDEN
AND FORGE MY OWN MIRROR.
[ ALL GASPING ]
HOW DID YOU KNOW
ABOUT THAT?!
YOU GUYS WERE RIGHT,
OKAY?
KNOWLEDGE IS POWER,
BUT I AM MORE OF A READER
AND NOT A GAMER.
SO THIS IS A NOVELIZATION
OF AN ADVENTURE IN THE GAME.
WHA--
YOU WANT TO READ
INSTEAD OF PLAY VIDEO GAMES?
THAT'S NOT NATURAL.
BUT WHATEVER WORKS!
KEEP READING.
YOU ARE SUCH AN ANGIE.
I'M GONNA TAKE THA
AS A COMPLIMENT.
[ LAUGHING ]
[ ALL SHOUT ]
COME HERE, YOU BOUNCY,
HOPPING SCHLEEL HOPPER,
SO I CAN BURN YOU!
[ SCREAMS ]
OHH!
I GOT HIM!
[ LAUGHS ]
[ SCREAMS ]
[ BOING! BOING! BOING! ]
FUJITA BONITA!
[ WHIMPERS ]
[ LAUGHS ]
HEY!
[ GROWLS ]
TIME TO SAY BYE-BYE,
JUMPY.
HUZZAH!HUZZAH!
[ LAUGHS ]
[ BLOWS ]
GIVE ME SOME.
DA-DA-DA DA-DA DA
[ CRACKLING ]
[ SCREAMS ]
OH!
LITTLE HELP HERE.
THAT IS NOT RIGHT!
MNH-MNH.
IT'S OKAY, GUYS.
I GOT THIS.
[ TING! ]
MM.
[ SCREAMING ]
OH! OHHH!
THANKS, ANGE.
HUZZAH, GENTLEMEN.
HUZZAH.
[ ELECTRICITY ZAPPING ]
WHOO! HA HA!
OUR FIRS
SCHLEEL HOPPER BARDING!
YO, DID YOU SEE
HOW MY WIND SPELL
PUSHED THAT HOPPER
RIGHT TOWARDS ANGIE?
WELL
BIG DEAL! I CAN MAKE WIND
WHENEVER I WANT.
UGH. BUT I'M TALKING
MAGIC, NOT TRAGIC.
NOBODY HAS TO BURN
THEIR UNDERWEAR AFTER.
[ Sarcastically ]
OH, YAY!
WE'RE TALKING
ABOUT UNDERWEAR ON FIRE --
AGAIN.
I'M OUT, NERDS.
OH, ANGIE!
YOU CAN'T LEAVE NOW!
WE'RE ABOUT TO RIDE
THIS WAVE OF BARDING GLORY
INTO A GAME
OF CONQUEROR OF ALL WORLDS.
YEAH! STAY.
I FIGHT LEAKS
IN THE REAL WORLD.
I DON'T PLAY THE GAME
IN YOUR FAKE WORLD.
SO, CALL ME
WHEN YOU WANT ME
TO PUNCH SOMETHING
IN THE FACE AGAIN.
OHH!
AH DA DA DA
DA DA DA DA.
MM, SEE, BU
PLAYING THE GAME
WILL TEACH YOU ABOUT LEAKS
BEFORETHEY LEAK.
MM-HMM.
I DON'T NEED IT.
I'M A NATURAL, OKAY?
AND, BESIDES,
PLAYING THE GAME --
IT'S JUST A REASON FOR YOU GUYS
TO CALL EACH OTHER NAMES
AND STUFF YOUR FACES
WITH SNACKS.
NO.
PLEASE.
'SUP, SKUNKBUTTS?
I GOT THE
CHIZZA-CHIZZA-CHEEZOS!
Both: YES!YEAH!
GIVE ME O's!
OKAY.
Both: EAT, EAT, EAT,
EAT, EAT, EAT, EAT!
Wyatt: AAH!
THESE GLAMAZONS ARE REALLY
STRONG AND BEAUTIFUL!
I'M HAVING A LOT OF REALLY
STRANGE FEELINGS RIGHT NOW!
WHO CARES
IF THEY'RE PRETTY GIRLS?
THEY'VE GOT GOLD --
SHINY, SHINY GOLD.
YEAH, MAKES ME SAD
TO HAVE TO DO THIS,
BUT GLAMAZ-ON,
GLAMAZ-OFF!
OHHH!
OHHH!OHHH!
WHAT?!
[ GROANS, SIGHS ]
ANGIE REALLY SHOULD BE
PLAYING WITH US RIGHT NOW.
I MEAN,
WHO'D BE BETTER
AT FIGHTING A REALM
OF TOUGH CHICKS?
YEAH. ANGIE'S TOUGHER
THAN ANY OF THESE GLAMAZONS.
NO ONE CAN MESS
WITH HER FIST OF SCHOOLAGE.
THAT'S FOR DING-DANG SURE.
YEAH, ANGIE WOULD PU
THE SMACKDOWN
ON ALL THESE GLAMAZONS.
YEAH, JUST LIKE SHE DID
WITH THE SCHLEEL HOPPER.
DANTE, CHEEZOS!
YEAH, YEAH!
[ SIGHS ] HEY! I NEED
CLEAN MALT GLASSES -- STAT!
HEY, HEY, HEY!
ORDER SOMETHING OR LEAVE, OKAY?
THIS AIN'T A LIBRARY.
ONE NAPKIN PER VISIT!
WHAT DO YOU THINK, HUH?
PAPER GROWS ON TREES?!
YOU'RE RUNNING THIS EATERY
WITH AN IRON FIST.
I ADMIRE YOUR STRENGTH.OH. [ LAUGHS ]
WELL, YOU KNOW,
YOU GOT TO BE STRONG,
OR THEY'LL WALK
ALL OVER YOU.
SPEAKING OF IRON FISTS,
NICE BRACELETS!
I FORGED THEM
FROM THE FIERY MITHRAL
WITH MY BARE HANDS.
COOL.
SOMETIMES I TAKE SOCKS
AND TURN THEM
INTO FINGERLESS GLOVES.
YOUR VIGOR AND RESILIENCE
ARE IMPRESSIVE.
IT IS SO NICE TO HEAR
SOMEBODY ELSE SAY THAT,
BECAUSE WHEN IDO,
THEY THINK I'M BRAGGING.
SPEAKING OF GLAMAZONS,
DID YOU KNOW THAT DAVENTRY HILLS
HAS A LADY VARSITY
WRESTLING TEAM?
YEAH. WE SCRIMMAGE
AGAINST THEM.
WHAT?! WHEN?!
DO YOU NEED
ANY VOLUNTEER REFS?
FOCUS UP!
COME ON!
[ BEEPING ]
WHERE IS THE LEAK NOW?
OH.
GO!
SO I DUMPED THE PLATE
OF SPAGHETTI ALL OVER HIM,
AND I SAID, "HERE'S A TIP
FOR YOU --LEARN SOME MANNERS.
AND WASH YOUR SHIR
BEFORE THE STAIN SETS IN."
I ONCE THREW A MERCHAN
IN A RIVER
BECAUSE HE OVERCHARGED ME
FOR A HEADBAND.
JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE A PRETTY
FACE, PEOPLE THINK THAT
YOU WON'T TEAR
THEIR ARMS OFF.
JUST WALK
ALL OVER YOU!
[ GASPS ]
I LIKE YOURS BETTER.
I'M ANGIE, BY THE WAY.
GRINNELLA.
THAT'S SUCH
A PRETTY NAME.
BUT I BET THE STORES
NEVER HAVE I
ON THOSE
SOUVENIR KEY CHAINS.
THAT'S THE WAY IT GOES
WHEN YOU'RE NAMED
AFTER A HIGH PRIESTESS.
YOU'RE LUCKY. YOU MUS
BE NAMED AFTER AN ANGEL.
NOPE. NO.
"ANGIE" IS SHORT FOR "ANGELO."
I'M NAMED
AFTER MY DAD'S BROTHER.
HE SAYS HE INVENTED PLATES,
BUT I DON'T KNOW.
[ CHUCKLES ]
EVERY TIME WE HAVE HIM OVER
FOR DINNER,
HE'S LIKE, [ Italian accent]
"HELLO, HELLO! YOU'RE WELCOME!"
[ LAUGHS ]
[ LAUGHS ]
OH!
THAT'S ANEW KIND
OF HIGH FIVE.
OKAY.
[ GASPS ]
AW, NERTZ.
YOU'RENO
FROM AROUND HERE, ARE YOU?
I'LL SEE YOU SOON,
ANGIE.
ANGIE.
HAVE YOU SEEN ANYTHING
SUSPICIOUS AROUND HERE?
YEAH, ANYTHING,
UH, LEAKY?
MAYBE SOMETHING WITH HORNS
OR FANGS OR SCALES?
WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?
[ ALL GASP ]
HOLY ISOSCELES!
THAT'S THE GLAMAZONIAN BOND
OF COMMITMENT!
YEAH, DON'T EVER
PRESS YOUR HAND
AGAINST A GLAMAZON'S
LIKE THAT.UNH-UNH.
IT BONDS YOU TO COMPETE
AGAINST THE GLAMAZON
IN THE GLAMAZONIAN
DEATH CHALLENGE.
BLAH BLAH BLA--
DEATH CHALLENGE?
IF YOU WIN,
THEY CROWN YOU CHAMPION.
BUT IF YOU LOSE,
THEY [WHISTLES]
CHOP OFF YOUR HEAD.EW.
EXCUSE ME?
SOME GORGONS KICK IT AROUND
FOR A WHILE
AS A PAR
OF ANOTHER CHALLENGE.
THE WINNER OF THAT ONE
GETS TO EAT THE HEAD!
STRAWS AND MUSTARD!
I JUST COMMITTED TO
A GLAMAZONIAN DEATH CHALLENGE
WITH A GLAMAZON
NAMED GRINNELLA.
[ ALL GASP ]
GAH!
GUYS, WE CAN'T LET ANGIE
BATTLE THAT GLAMAZON ALONE.
WE GOT TO FIGURE OU
A WAY TO HELP HER.
HEY, WILL THIS HELP?
[ SQUEAKING ]
NO!
AND DON'T DO THAT!
THIS IS A FINELY TUNED
TOPOGRAPHICAL INSTRUMEN
FOR LEAK TRACKAGE.
[ SIGHS ]
WHERE'S
THE GLASS CLEANER?
CHECK IT.
IF I WARM UP WITH THIS WEIGH
BEFORE A BARDING,
MY SWING IMPROVES
AND I WON'T GET TIED
IN A KNOT AGAIN.
UGH!
WELLAT LEAS
THE GLASS SHARDS
DIDN'T HURT MY MODEL
OF THE USS CONSTITUTION.
[ CHUCKLES ]
[ WOMEN LAUGHING ]
THOSE SANDALS
LOOK AWESOME ON YOU.
THOSE SANDALS
LOOK AWESOME ON YOU.OH. [ CHUCKLES ]
HEY, GUYS.
THIS IS GRINNELLA.
SHE'S MY OPPONEN
FOR THE GLAMAZONIAN
DEATH CHALLENGE.
[ CHUCKLES ] WE JUST WEN
SHOE SHOPPING TOGETHER.
[ TING! ]
[ CHUCKLES ]
NEVER WOULD HAVE GUESSED.
I'M A MEN'S 12.
AND I'M A KIDS' 4.
GRINNELLA,
THIS IS WYATT, LYLE, AND
[ WHIMPERING ]
[ SIGHS ] DANTE.
SO, GRINNELLA,
WHY DID YOU PICK OUR ANGIE
FOR YOUR DEATH CHALLENGE?
YEAH. SHE DOESN'T EVEN
PLAY THE GAME.
I OVERHEARD
HOW STRONG ANGIE IS,
AND I THOUGH
SHE'D MAKE IT INTERESTING.
YOU KNOW,
IT'S NOT ALL BAD.
AT LEAST GRINNELLA AND I
ARE HITTING IT OFF.
[ CHUCKLES ]
SO, ONE OF US IS GONNA WIN
AND THE OTHER ONE'S GONNA DIE.
[ CHUCKLES ]
WE'RE LIKE BEST BUDS --
TWO PEANUTS
IN A SHELL, REALLY.
SHE'S JUST THE BEST FRIEND
I COULD EVER --
TULTA MUNILLE!
HUZZAH!
NO MORE GLAMAZONIAN
DEATH CHALLENGE FOR MOI.
WHAT'D YOU DO THAT FOR?
I THOUGHT YOU SAID THA
GRINNELLA WAS YOUR NEW BFF.
WE'RE BFs, OKAY?
IT COULDN'T REALLY BE FOREVER
BECAUSE, YOU KNOW,
ONE OF US WAS GONNA DIE.
NERTZ!
PLEASE DON'T DO THAT AGAIN.
PORTAL TRAVEL IS SUCH A PAIN
THIS TIME OF YEAR.
ANGIE,
IF YOU PLAYED THE GAME,
YOU'D KNOW
YOU CAN'T BARD A GLAMAZON
ONCE YOU'VE ENGAGED IN THE
GLAMAZONIAN BOND OF COMMITMENT.
OKAY.
CAN WE JUST FORGE
THIS WHOLE GLAMAZONIAN
DEATH CHALLENGE THING?
FRIENDS
DO NOT LET FRIENDS
CUT EACH OTHER'S
HEADS OFF.
THEY DO
WHERE I COME FROM.
[ WHIP! ]
[ WHIP! ]
[ WHIP! ]
HELLO.
HELLO.
ARE YOU ANGIE PRIETTO?
UHHHHNO.
WHO WAS THAT?
UM [SNAPS FINGERS]
NOBODY.
OKAY.
AS I WAS SAYING
AAAAH!
AAAAH!AAAAH!
THE GLAMAZONIAN
DEATH CHALLENGE
CONSISTS OF THREE EVENTS.
THE FIRST TO WIN TWO
SHALL BE CROWNED VICTOR.
THE LOSER SHALL NOT BE CROWNED,
FOR SHE WILL NOT HAVE A HEAD.
MAKES SENSE.
I NOW PRESENT THE FIRST EVENT IN
THE GLAMAZONIAN DEATH CHALLENGE.
HMM.
OKAY.HMM.
[ WHISTLES ]
SCROLL ISSUES?
I HAVE SOME PROBLEMS
WITH SCROLLS,
BUT LET ME TELL YOU --
WHEN MESSAGES WERE SEN
ON STONE TABLETS, I WAS THE BE--
WILL YOU JUST READ
THE MESSAGE?!
THE FIRST EVEN
IN THE GLAMAZONIAN
DEATH CHALLENGE IS
THIS IS WHERE I PAUSE
FOR DRAMATIC TENSION.
A RACE ON FOOL.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
WHAT?
OH, THAT'S A "T"!
[ CHUCKLES ]
A RACE ON FOOT.
OH. GRINNELLA'S
GONNA EAT MY HEAD.
SHH.
THAT'S A DIFFERENT CHALLENGE.
WELL, I KNOW
FROM PLAYING THE GAME
THAT THE HOST GETS TO CHOOSE
THE RACECOURSE.
SO WE CAN DESIGN A COURSE
THAT WILL GIVE ANGIE
A FIGHTING CHANCE.
RUNNERS, FOLLOW ME.
I'M SETTING
THE RACECOURSE.
IS EVERYBODY READY?
READY!
LET US COMMENCE.
I SAID "EVERYBODY."
OH! READY! READY!
HAH! ROGER THAT. COPY THAT.DON'T LET ME DOWN, BOYS.
I'M WATCHING
SOME GLAMAZONS,
AND THEY ARE ROASTING
A DIRE BOAR ON A SPIT.
THESE GIRLS LOVE THEIR BARBECUE.
COPY THAT. ROGER THAT.
ROGER, ROGER, COPY.
OVER.
LET'S RUN THEM BY
THE PORK IN THE ROAD RESTAURANT.
ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT.
THEN YOU WANT TO HEAD UP
BELUGA AVENUE
AND THEN OVER
TO ORCA LANE. BAM!
GOT IT.
ON YOUR MARKS
GET SET
GO!
[ PANTING ]
[ LAUGHS ]
Approaching the barbecue.
[ SNIFFS ]
COME ON! COME ON!
COME ON!
AAAHH!
YEAH!
COME ON!
YEAH!
MMM. MMM.
UGH!
[ PIG SQUEALS ]SO, WHAT'S NEXT?
THE SECOND EVEN
IN THE GLAMAZONIAN
DEATH CHALLENGE IS
[ WHIP! ]
PUGIL STICKS.
What are pugil sticks?
I'll show you.
[ CHUCKLES ]
HEY!
HEY! NO!
GAAAAH!
AAAAAAAH!
[ ALL SHOUTING ]
SEE?
NOW WATCH, WATCH, WATCH.
READY?OHHH!
[ LAUGHS ]
UGH!
[ WHOOSH! WHOOSH! WHOOSH!
WHOOSH! WHOOSH! ]
[ SIGHS ]
[ TRILLS TONGUE ]
HA! OH, NO! WAIT!
THIS SHOULD BE AN EVEN
IN THE MULTINATIONAL,
SEMI-ANNUAL SPORTING FESTIVAL.
[ GRUNTS ]
HUH! HA! HEE!
MM, THEY SHOULD HAVE THAT.
IF ONLY IT HAD A NAME.
[ SQUEALS ]
SO, SHOULD WE BE WORRIED
FOR ANGIE, OR
[ TRILLS TONGUE ]
NAH, THE LOW CENTER OF GRAVITY
DUE TO HER STUBBY LEGS
WORKS IN HER FAVOR HERE.
OW! UGH!
COME ON, ANGIE!
[ GRUNTS ]
OW!
OOH.
TAKE IT EASY ON ME,
OKAY?
WE BOUGHT SANDALS
TOGETHER.
WE'RE BESTIES!
UGH!
I LIKE AND RESPECT YOU
TOO MUCH TO HOLD BACK.[ GROANS ]
PLUS, I DON'T WANT TO GET
MYHEAD CHOPPED OFF.
THAT MAKES SENSE.
[ GASPS ]
WE SHOULD BE GOING
TO THE MOVIES TOGETHER
AND SHARING A GIANT POPCORN
AND BOOING ALL THE PREVIEWS!
THAT DOESSOUND LIKE FUN,
EVEN THOUGH I DON'T KNOW
WHAT A MOVIE OR POPCORN IS.
OHHHHHHHH.
HO HO HO!
BRAVO!
REALLY? I'M ONE EVENT AWAY FROM
GETTING MY HEAD CHOPPED OFF!
[ CLAPPING ]
I SEE TALENT,
I APPLAUD IT.
WHAT NOW?
THE FINAL EVENT IN
THE GLAMAZONIAN DEATH CHALLENGE
ISARCHERY.
ARCHERY?
[ THUNK! WHIP! ]
[ PING! ]
I'M TERRIBLE
AT ARCHERY.
SINCE THAT WAS
MY LAST MESSAGE,
I WAS WONDERING IF YOU'D
PARTICIPATE IN A BRIEF SURVEY.
NO.
WOULD YOU SAY THAT YOU ARE,
1, EXTREMELY SATISFIED,
2, VERY SATISFIED,
OR, 3, SUPERLY DUPERLY
SATISFIED?
OKAY. OKAY.
EXTREMELY SATISFIED
IT IS, THEN.
[ GRUNTS ]
[ British accent ]
AFTER NINE ARROWS EACH,
ANGIE AND GRINNELLA
ARE TIED.
IF ANGIE DOESN'T MAKE
THIS LAST SHOT,
SHE'S A GONER.
[ British accent ]
I REALLY THOUGH
BRAIDING HER HAIR LIKE THA
WOULD HELP.
OH MAN, I SPEN
ALL NIGHT ON THE INTERNE
LEARNING HOW TO DO THAT.
AW!
OKAY. WE HAVE
A SEVEN-MILE-AN-HOUR WIND
FROM SOUTH-SOUTHWEST.
AIM SIX INCHES TO THE RIGH
AND TWO INCHES HIGH.
Lyle:
UH-HUH.
Just aim for the red dot.
NO! WAIT.
WYATT'S WEATHER MACHINE
AND YOUR RED-DOT GENERATOR
AREN'T ENOUGH.
WHAT?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
DUN-NUH, DUH-DUN-NUH,
DUH-DUH ♪
HEY, ANGIE!
I LIED!
I NEVER WANTED TO MAKE
A SKATING MASCOT VIDEO WITH YOU.
YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY?
WHY?
'Cause you skate
like a girl.
[ GASPS ]
YEAH!
[ CHEERING ]
ANGIE WON!
YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!
All: [ Chanting ] GRINNELLA'S
GETTING HER HEAD CHOPPED OFF!
GRINNELLA'S GETTING
HER HEAD CHOPPED OFF!
GRINNELLA'S GE--
TWO.
TWO'S ENOUGH.
WHOA.
HOLY
OH.
WHOA.HEY.
[ WHIP! ]
SISTERS OF GLAMAZON ISLAND,
WE HAVE A NEW CHAMPION
IN THE GLAMAZONIAN
DEATH CHALLENGE.
[ APPLAUSE ]
AS LOSER OF THE CHALLENGE,
GRINNELLA SHALL HAVE
HER HEAD CHOPPED OFF.
NO. W-WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
OKAY. GRINNELLA'S MY FRIEND.
AND I DON'T WANT HER
TO GET HER HEAD CHOPPED OFF.
TOO BAD.
NOW WE WILL AWARD THE WINNER
WITH HER GIFTS.
GIFTS?
COME.
[ CHUCKLES ]
FIRST, I PRESENT YOU WITH
THE TIARA OF PROFOUND GLORY.
PSHAW! YEAH!
THIS IS NICE!
[ CHUCKLES ]
I KIND OF FEEL LIKE A QUEEN.
Lyle:
OOH. LOOKS GOOD, ANGE.
SHINY.
NO.
AND NOW FOR THE GRAND PRIZE --
WE'RE CHANGING IT UP THIS YEAR
TO KEEP THINGS FRESH.
AS WINNER, ANGIE WILL RECEIVE
THE GREAT HONOR
OF BEING SACRIFICED
TO THE GORGON RHEA.
[ Laughing ]
WOW! THAT'S SO GREAT!
THAT'S SO GREAT!
WHAT?
SACRIFICED?
WELL, SHE TURNS YOU TO STONE.
YEAH. THAT STILL DOESN'T SOUND
LIKE A PRIZE.
WE HAVE TO SACRIFICE SOMEONE SO
RHEA WON'T DESTROY OUR ISLAND.
AND WHO BETTER THAN THE WINNER
OF THE DEATH CHALLENGE?
OH, ANGIE.
HOW LUCKY YOU ARE.
I WOULD'VE CHERISHED THE HONOR
TO HAVE BEEN SACRIFICED TO RHEA.
LUCKY?
WHAT IS WRONG
WITH YOU PEOPLE?!
THE PRIZE FOR WINNING
A DEATH CHALLENGE IS DEATH?!
THAT IS THE WORST PRIZE
EVER!
I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU DIDN'T TELL ME
THAT THE PRIZE FOR WINNING
THE GLAMAZONIAN DEATH CHALLENGE
IS DEATH!
WE DID NOT KNOW
THAT THAT WAS THE PRIZE.
DID WE?
NO. WE DON'T KNOW EVERYTHING
ABOUT THE GAME, ANGE.
THAT'S WHY WE KEEP PLAYING.[ DING! ]
AND THAT'S
WHY YOU SHOULD PLAY.
AND IT'S FUN!
YOU CAN ANONYMOUSLY TALK TRASH
TO PEOPLE AND GET AWAY WITH IT.
WE ARE GONNA FIGURE OU
A WAY TO SAVE YOU.
[ INHALES SHARPLY ]
WE NEED OUR ANGIE.
OH.
YOU NEED ME?
YEAH!
WELL
WELL, I MEAN, THE THREE OF US
ARE OKAY,
BUT THE FOUR OF US
ARE AMAZING.
DANG IT!
THAT'S SWEET!
DON'T SAY SWEET THINGS
WHEN I'M MAD AT YOU GUYS.
[ SIGHS ]
OKAY. JUST FIGURE OUT A WAY
TO SAVE ME FROM THAT GORGON.
HMM
MM
HMM
Rhea:
BRING HER TO ME.
OKAY!
THERE'S NO REASON TO PUSH!
[ SNAKES HISS ]AH!
THE ONE TO BE SACRIFICED.
I APPROVE.
SHE'S MUCH SHORTER
THAN THE OTHERS. THAT'S GOOD.
BECAUSE WHEN SHE'S
A STONE STATUE,
I WON'T HAVE TO GET A LADDER
TO DUST HER.
OKAY, SERIOUSLY,
I'M ABOUT TO BE SACRIFICED,
AND YOU STOP TO MAKE A CRACK
ABOUT MY HEIGHT?
ANGIE,
I KNOW IT PROBABLY HURTS
TO CRANE YOUR NECK UP
LIKE THAT.
BUT LOOK INTO MY EYES.
YOU'LL FOREVER STAY YOUNG
AND BEAUTIFUL.
LOOK.
NO.
[ Singsong voice ]
LOOK.
NO!
[ Normal voice ]
LOOK.
LOOK!
YAH!
AAH!
HA!
SORRY, LADIES!
IT'S BARDING TIME!
[ HISSES ]
[ SCREAMING ]
[ SCREAMING STOPS ]
AAH!
GREAT.
MORE JUNK FOR MY GARAGE.
NOW LOOK INTO MY EYES,
ANGIE.
ANGIE!
[ GRUNTS ]
CATCH!
OKAY. I DON'T REALLY CARE WHAT I
LOOK LIKE RIGHT NOW, SO
USE IT ON RHEA!
UGH.
NO! I'M NOT FALLING
FOR THAT OLD MIRROR TRICK!
YES, YOU ARE!
OW!
[ GRUNTS ]
WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME
I LOOK LIKE THIS?
[ HISSES ]
[ ENERGY PULSES ]
[ GASPS ]
[ LAUGHS ]
HUZZAH!
[ ENERGY PULSES ]
[ SCREAMING RESUMES, FADES ]
WHAT HAPPENED?
HUZZAH!
HUZZAH?
[ CLICKS TONGUE ]
HUZZAH!
HUZZAH!HUZZAH!
[ LAUGHS ]
WAY TO GO, ANGIE!
THOUGH IT WAS COOL
BEING A ROCK.
MAN!
OH!
I GOT MOSS IN MY ARMPITS!
SWEET!
GRINNELLA, HOW DARE YOU DISHONOR
THE RULES OF OUR PEOPLE.
WELL.
THE ONLY THING SHE DISHONORED
WAS THAT SNAKE LADY'S FACE.
Grinnella:
I'M SORRY, MY QUEEN.
I COULD NOT STAND BY
AND LET MY BESTIE ANGIE
BE SACRIFICED.YEAH.
BESIDES, WE'VE RID THE WORLD
OF THE GORGON RHEA.
WE'RE FREE OF HER FOREVER.
OH, RIGHT! I GUESS.
HEY, YES!
JUST GOT A LITTLE TRIPPED UP
WITH THE RULE CHANGE.
LADIES
[ WHIP! ]
[ WHIP! ]
[ Laughing ]
GOOD WORK, EVERYONE.
FABULOUS.
HEY, ANGIE!
WE'RE PLAYING
CONQUERER OF ALL WORLDS TONIGHT.
I HOPE YOU NOW KNOW
THE VALUE OF JOINING US.
UH, NO.
THE GAME'S A WASTE OF MY TIME.
BUT, DUDE, WE NEED YOU
TO FIGHT LEAKS!
AND YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE
GAME TO KNOW ABOUT THE LEAKS.
YOU ALMOS
GOT TURNED TO STONE!
YOU DID
GET TURNED TO STONE.
AND THE MOSS HAS SPREAD
TO MY CHEST! [ LAUGHS ]
OH
MOIST AND COOL.
LOVE IT.
IF GRINNELLA HADN'T THROWN YOU
THAT MIRROR,
YOU WOULD'VE BEEN BORKED.
WELL, I COULD'VE
JUST SQUEEZED THE JUICE
OUT OF A THOUSAND
BRISK BERRIES
AND LET THE POOL OF JUICE HARDEN
AND FORGE MY OWN MIRROR.
[ ALL GASPING ]
HOW DID YOU KNOW
ABOUT THAT?!
YOU GUYS WERE RIGHT,
OKAY?
KNOWLEDGE IS POWER,
BUT I AM MORE OF A READER
AND NOT A GAMER.
SO THIS IS A NOVELIZATION
OF AN ADVENTURE IN THE GAME.
WHA--
YOU WANT TO READ
INSTEAD OF PLAY VIDEO GAMES?
THAT'S NOT NATURAL.
BUT WHATEVER WORKS!
KEEP READING.
YOU ARE SUCH AN ANGIE.
I'M GONNA TAKE THA
AS A COMPLIMENT.