The Brady Bunch (1969) s02e03 Episode Script

1
Here's the story
Of a lovely lady
Who was bringing up
Three very lovely girls
All of them had hair of gold ♪
Like their mother
The youngest one in curls ♪
It's the story of a man named Brady ♪
Who was busy with
three boys of his own ♪
They were four men living all together ♪
Yet they were all alone ♪
Till the one day when
The lady met this fellow
And they knew that it was
much more than a hunch ♪
That this group
Must somehow form a family
That's the way we all
became the Brady Bunch ♪
The Brady Bunch
The Brady Bunch
That's the way we became
the Brady Bunch. ♪
It's part of growing up for a girl.
Jan and Cindy in on this, too?
Well, it wouldn't be fair to leave them out.
Any word?
Not yet.
Let's go ahead with it.
If Rome can outlast
an invasion by the barbarians,
what can a few little girls
do to the Brady house?
( Sighs )
Well, Mom?
Yes, Marcia, you can
have your slumber party.
( Exclaiming )
Hey, Alice, did you hear?
We're going to have a slumber party.
Said we're going to have a slumber party.
I heard.
What's the matter?
I just thought I'd start
doing something useful for the party,
like nailing down the furniture.
Alice, it's just a few little girls.
It can't be that bad.
Mr. Brady, have you ever
been to a slumber party?
No, can't say that I have.
Well, I have, and one thing is certain.
Mm, what's that?
Nobody, nobody slumbers.
( Chuckles )
We're going to be invaded by girls.
Will there be a lot of them?
Won't matter how many.
It will seem like a million.
They won't do anything
but giggle all night long.
You know, I'll bet you Marcia
invites that Paula Tardy.
Boy, is she hung up on you.
That's a disgusting thought.
I'll probably have to hide all night.
Maybe I'll have to hide, too.
Somebody might be hung up on me.
Hey, fellas.
Come on, I can use a little help.
What's up, Dad?
I want to get the sleeping bags
out of the storage room in the garage
and air them out. Come on.
Are we going camping?
Like maybe Saturday night,
while all the girls are here?
No, sorry, fellas. No such luck.
Why the sleeping bags?
Well, for the slumber party.
We can't put all the girls
up there in the girls' room.
They'd be packed in like sardines.
Are they going to sleep
out in the backyard?
No, they're going to sleep
in the living room
in the sleeping bags.
In our sleeping bags.
They'll get them all full of perfume.
We'll all stink.
Ah, that'll be enough of that.
Now, come on, help me.
Let's have hot dogs. Good idea.
Why not hamburgers?
No, hot dogs are easier.
Hot dogs.
How about jelly beans?
With mustard and relish.
And lots of pickles, too.
Mus, rel, pick
and jellybeans.
And one bag jellybeans.
Thanks, Alice.
Listen, you kids better get your books.
You're going to be late for school.
Okay. CINDY: Bye, Mommy.
Bye. Bye.
Mom, remember what
you and Dad promised.
I remember.
What did Dad promise?
Oh, well, it was kind of
what I promised for both of us.
Oh, yeah.
That, uh, we'd leave the girls alone.
We wouldn't hang around the party.
Well, what shall we do?
Spend a quiet evening in the garage.
Oh, Mike.
Could patch a few old tires.
Oh, no, I have a much better idea for us.
Uh-oh. What?
Would you like a little hint?
Uh-huh.
Well, uh, dinner for two
candlelight
soft music
dancing.
You're a great hinter, you know that?
Mm-hmm. That sounds good.
That is, unless Alice doesn't mind
holding down the fort while we're gone?
Oh, I don't mind holding down the fort.
Just bear in mind
that those were the last words
of General Custer.
Now, let's see.
I've already invited
Jenny Wilton, my best friend,
and Paula Tardy from my English class.
Now, who else?
What do you do at a slumber party?
Well, you play games,
and you talk about boys.
And you talk about boys,
and you play games.
What are the games about?
Boys.
Boys?! Who likes boys?
Hey, I got it!
Oh, boy, have I got an idea!
Are we gonna have fun
at that slumber party.
You've got to be kidding.
I'm not going around any of those girls.
Now, listen to me, you guys.
Now, listen.
We're going to pull tricks on them, get it?
Tricks?
Yeah, you know, scare them. Jokes.
Yeah! Yeah!
Now, we ought to be able to
think of some really great stuff.
Like rubber spiders?
That's a good start.
A scary mask, spooky noisemakers.
And one of those plastic skeletons!
Yeah, yeah, that's good!
Hey, wait a minute, wait a minute.
I got it, oh, boy, is this beautiful?!
What?! What?!
Itching powder in the sleeping bags.
Yeah! Yeah!
Well, I know the boys
aired these out, Mike,
but they still seem a little dusty to me.
Yeah, well, I got them
to do it this morning.
I guess they didn't have
too much enthusiasm for the job.
Well, maybe we ought to
hang them up and beat them.
The sleeping bags or the boys?
Oh, Mike well, look, I think I better go
check the food for the party.
Hey, is all that just for the girls?
Whew, I thought we were
starting a supply depot
for the eighth army.
GREG: Hi, Mom and Dad.
Say, listen, Gregory,
your mother's not too happy
with the job you guys did
on the sleeping bags.
Yeah, I think they need just
a little more freshening up.
It's not going to take too much time. All
Sure, we'd be glad to.
Huh?
We'll do anything Mom wants us to do.
You will?
Thank you, Greg.
No trouble.
I'll go get the guys.
I thought you said
they weren't too enthusiastic.
That's funny. That's what
I thought I said, too.
Mrs. Denton found this
when she was tidying up
the desks in her room.
Please take a look at it.
MARCIA:
"Mrs. Denton or a hippopotamus?"
Is that your handwriting and your class?
Yes, sir.
And did you draw that picture?
Yes, sir, but that's not Mrs. Denton.
It's George Washington.
George Washington?
There's a picture of him on the wall
and I was copying it.
And what about Mrs.
Denton's name and that remark?
I didn't write her name, or that remark.
Marcia, I think you'd better explain.
But, I can't.
I mean well
I finished my classwork a little early
and I was doodling
and my name happened
to be on the paper.
I doodled George Washington.
I didn't doodle Mrs. Denton.
It doesn't look much
like George Washington.
I guess I'm not a very good artist.
You expect me to believe
this is your paper,
your name, and your drawing
but you didn't write her name,
or that remark?
That's right, Mr. Randolph.
Marcia, I'd like to believe you.
You've always been a good student,
but what you're saying
doesn't sound logical.
But I didn't do it.
This sort of thing has
happened before too often.
Not just you, but the other students.
But Mr. Randolph
I'm afraid you're going
to have to be the example.
You'll have to stay after school
one hour every day for a week.
That's all, Marcia.
Except, because you'll
be staying after school,
I'll have to notify your parents.
CAROL: As much as
we hate to do it, Marcia,
I'm afraid you can't
have your slumber party.
My party?
MIKE: Honey, that drawing might
have seemed funny at the time,
but you just must have
respect for your teachers.
But I didn't do it.
I didn't write Mrs. Denton's name on it
or that stupid remark.
Your principal said you did, honey,
and he's a very responsible man.
Well, he wouldn't punish you for nothing.
You mean, you'd rather
believe him than me.
Marcia, from what you said,
that paper was in your desk
and your name was on it.
Now, what else
could Mr. Randolph think?
You don't believe me, either.
And if you don't, I don't want a party
or anything ever from you!
It's not like her, honey.
I've never seen Marcia so adamant.
That's one thing about Marcia:
When she's wrong, she admits it.
And the slumber party
isn't the big problem.
It's the fact that we don't believe her.
Mike, you think Mr. Randolph
could be mistaken?
Well, there's one way to find out.
MIKE: Well, I can't
vouch for the drawing,
or what's printed underneath,
but there's no doubt
about the class and the name.
It's Marcia's handwriting, all right.
There is only one conclusion
I could reach, Mr. Brady.
Oh, yes, of course.
It's, uh, just that Marcia was so upset,
I felt I had to speak to you.
I understand.
Marcia's always been
an excellent student,
but, uh, well, we do
have to preserve discipline.
Oh, yes, my wife and I certainly
agree with you on that.
Well, thanks for your time, Mr. Randolph.
Not at all.
I only wish more parents
would take the time to get involved.
By the way,
would you mind if I kept that?
Oh, of course not. Oh, thanks.
Uh, Mr. Randolph
does Mrs. Denton really look like that?
Unfortunately, yes.
But it could be George Washington.
Well, of course it could.
You know, she admits
she drew the picture
but anybody could have
done the printing.
Mike, what do you think?
Honey, I think an understandable
mistake has been made
and we ought to take Marcia's word for it.
Well, I think we should, too.
Of course, this is just our judgment.
There's no way to prove it
to Mr. Randolph.
I know.
( Sighs )
What about the slumber party?
( Sighs )
As far as I'm concerned,
the punishment at home is off.
Let's have the party.
Good.
I'll tell her.
Yeah, and I'll tell General Custer
to get her boots and saber
out of mothballs.
Marcia?
Yes?
Your father and I
have just had a little talk.
Now, we don't know exactly
what happened at school,
but we think there's been a mistake.
We believe what you said
about the picture.
Thanks, Mom.
Well, you'll still have to go along
with your punishment at school
but the slumber party is on again.
( Girls exclaiming )
Thanks, Mom!
Oh, thank you!
Oh, great! Oh, great!
( Cheering from girls' room )
I wonder what's up.
( Knocking on door )
Hey, fellas, I just thought
you'd like to know
the slumber party's on again.
It is? Really?
Hooray!
Well, I hardly expected that reaction.
Well, we're kind of looking forward to it.
Yeah.
Oh, you are?
Uh, they mean we're
we're looking forward
to the girls having a good time.
Oh, yeah, well, that's
that's very nice of you,
Greg, all you boys.
We'll be glad to do anything
to help the party along.
Yeah, anything.
( Giggles )
What's so funny?
Nothing, nothing.
That dumb dodo laughs at anything.
Yeah, he's got a real weird
sense of humor.
Okay.
Aren't you happy?
About the party? Yes
and Mom and Dad believing me.
But I still have to stay after school
for something I didn't do.
I wonder who did.
I've been thinking about that.
I've got English the next-to-
last period in the afternoon,
so I figure whoever used my desk
for the last period
might be the one.
Hey, yeah.
That's the only one it could be.
Do you know who it is?
Jenny Wilton.
Jenny Wilton?
She's your best friend.
She was my best friend.
What are you going to do?
I'll show you.
Hello?
Hello, Jenny, this is Marcia.
I called about the slumber party
I'm having tomorrow night.
I can hardly wait.
Well, it's only for my friends.
Sure.
I'm your friend, Marcia.
Not anymore, you're not,
so consider yourself uninvited!
Marcia?!
Marcia!
( Girls laughing and screeching )
( Screaming )
ALICE: Now, you two just run along.
Have a good time at dinner.
Remember, you have
left the cavalry in charge.
Well, hang on to your saddle, Alice.
Hey, where are the boys?
They're in their room studying.
Studying on Saturday night?
Maybe we ought
to take their temperature.
Oh, come on, Mike.
Good luck, Alice.
I don't need luck, Mrs. Brady,
just a short course in riot control.
You two run along.
( Giggling and yelling )
You guys,
let's play "ha."
( Yelling ) GIRL: You go first.
Okay.
Here. Hurry up. Move over.
( Screeching, laughing, and talking )
GIRL: Everybody ready?
GIRLS: Yeah.
Ha-ha.
Ha-ha-ha.
Ha-ha-ha-ha
( all laughing and screeching )
You guys, you guys shh.
( Chips crunch )
( All laugh )
Let's all play another game.
( All agreeing )
How about truth or dare?
Yeah, let's play that.
Okay, and I'll go first.
Paula, you're the one.
Who's the cutest boy you know?
Truth or dare?
( Giggles )
Greg Brady.
( All laughing )
Now it's my turn to ask, and
Ruthie, you're the one.
Truth or dare, have you ever
been kissed by Hank Holman?
( All giggling )
Well, I'll take the dare.
All right, you
Have to go upstairs and see what.
Marcia's brothers are doing.
( All laughing )
Karen, will you come with me, please?
Not me.
I will.
( All laughing )
Shh.
( Growls )
( Girls screaming )
It looked like a monster.
I think it was Greg.
Hot dogs, anyone?
( Girls yelling )
ALICE: There's one
there's one for everybody.
( Screams )
A spider!
A big, hairy spider.
ALICE: Wait, wait,
let me get in here, kids.
Let me in.
Oh
( laughing )
Oh, looks like there's more
than one tribe on the warpath.
My brothers.
Those dum-dums, all right.
Hey, I forgot the potato salad, here.
( Screams )
( Beeping )
What happened?
Nothing, I just lost my head.
( Chuckles )
Or found somebody's head.
Uh, I'll be right in.
( Beeping )
Sorry about that, Alice.
( Chuckles )
What's happening now?
They're getting ready
to turn off the lights
and tell ghost stories.
Okay, this is it.
The real action now.
Yeah. Yeah.
The last call for hot dogs.
GIRLS: No thanks.
Okay.
Now, if the werewolf howls
and if the vampire starts
flapping his wings,
don't come running to me.
I'll be under the kitchen table.
Okay.
Okay, guys, now, listen.
Hey, any of you monsters
want a hot dog?
Thanks, Alice.
Thanks, Alice.
Thanks, Alice.
Slowly, she started down the hall.
Spider webs everywhere.
Then she came to the door.
The door to the room where
she had been forbidden to go.
Slowly, she opened the door.
( Howls )
What was that?
( Howling )
I'm so scared, I'm getting itchy all over.
I'm itchy, too.
So am I.
Yeah.
Me, too.
Oh, it's terrible.
( All muttering and clamoring )
I'll bet you it's my brothers again.
Yeah Alice!
( Screaming )
MARCIA: Alice!
JAN: Stop them, stop them.
That's a crazy new dance you're doing.
Why don't you put on some music?
No, Alice, itching powder
in the sleeping bags.
Oh, my.
Okay, look, we'll try and wash it off.
Everybody upstairs.
Come on, hurry up, in the shower.
Come on, kids.
GIRL: It's terrible!
ALICE: All right.
Boy, are my brothers going to regret this.
It itches, but it's kind of funny.
I like jokes.
What about the one
we pulled on Mrs. Denton?
We?
Yeah, you drew the picture,
and I wrote the funny line.
You know, about the hippo?
You did that?
Yeah. Didn't you think it was funny?
Funny? I got punished for that.
Punished?
You did?
Yeah.
I had to stay after school
a whole week now.
I almost didn't have this party
because of what you wrote.
Gee, Marcia, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean for anybody
to see that but you.
Well, they did, all right.
Mrs. Denton found it
and turned it in to the principal.
I didn't know that.
Would it help if I went
to Mr. Randolph and explained?
That would be great.
Gee, Marcia, I just
I just can't stand this itching anymore.
CAROL: Hi, honey.
Hey, where is everybody?
Upstairs, itching.
I mean, washing off the itching powder.
Mom, Dad, I've done
something just awful.
What?
I blamed Jenny Wilton
for writing on my picture
the one that got me in trouble.
I told her she wasn't my friend anymore
and I uninvited her to my party.
And Jenny didn't do it?
Mm-mm, it was Paula.
Only she didn't mean any harm.
She just meant for me to see it.
Well, dear, it seems to me
that both you and Jenny
got a taste of the same medicine.
You were blamed for something
because somebody
didn't have all the facts.
You turned around
and did the same thing to Jenny.
I feel awful.
What can I do?
Well, look, dear, it's still early.
Why don't you call Jenny
and invite her over to the party?
I sure will.
I'll give her the biggest
apology I know how.
( Clamoring )
CAROL: Ooh, excuse me.
( Doorbell rings )
CAROL: Oh, that must be Jenny.
That must be Jenny, honey.
Oh, I'll get it.
Okay, be right back.
Excuse me, girls, pardon me.
( Chips crunching )
( All laughing )
Well, Mike.
Here, have one. You, too.
( Clanking )
What was that?
( All laughing )
Over the door.
( All laughing )
Oh, poor Mike.
Sorry about that, Dad.
( All laughing )
Hey, Alice, we got any cookies?
Hmm, I don't know, Mr. Brady.
They pretty well cleaned us out
the other night.
( Phone rings ) Yeah.
Oh, I'll get it, Alice.
Hello.
Oh, good morning, Mr. Randolph.
Mr. Randolph?
Well, I'm delighted.
Really?
Oh, thank you so much for calling.
Bye.
Marcia and Paula
explained the whole thing
to Mr. Randolph and Mrs. Denton.
They're forgiven.
Oh, good. That's great.
Why, you're in luck, Mr. Brady.
I found a box of cookies.
Don't tell me something left
after the shock troops.
Yeah, that's about all.
( Screams )
( Sighs )
Oh, sorry about that, Mr. Brady.
Party's over, but the melody lingers on.
Ooh. Get rid of it. A spider