Boarders (2024) s02e04 Episode Script

1
Oh!
Ah Urgh!
Stop wanking!
Just because she wants to see
you in her office doesn't mean
she's going to strip you of
that badge. Yes, it does, bro.
Her taking this off me just opens
the door for her getting rid of me.
It'll work itself out.
Hi, Lord Thornfield. Mr Pennington.
Miss Cavendish-Dunn. Mr Alcott.
I'm looking forward to meeting
you at tomorrow's board event.
Best wi
Sincerely, Jaheim Marsham.
Mm, mm, mm
Tasty, tasty, tasty
Mm, mm, mm
Tasty, tasty, ah
Mm, mm, mm
Tasty, tasty, tasty
Mm, mm, mm
You wanna face me, come get it
Nutter butter, crunchy
Sweet, sweet, sweet
Move from your brain
to your feet, feet, feet
Move from your brain
to your feet, feet, feet
Nutter butter, crunchy
Sweet, sweet, sweet
Move from your brain
to your feet, feet, feet
Move from your brain,
brain, brain to your feet. ♪
THEY EXCLAIM
Can't lie, when I joined ALGE'bros
I thought it was going to be dry,
but it's a likkle litty, still.
ALGE'bros is so my happy place.
Leah. Hey. Hey. Where
were you for ACS?
Sorry, guys, I was
a little busy today.
Busy doing what?
Oh. Oh. Since when?
Since I realised they existed.
Leah, you've never talked
about algebra in your life.
Really? I feel like I talk
about it a lot, sometimes.
There's nothing for me
to do in ACS anyway.
OK, well, we'll
see you at lunch?
Sorry, give me
one second. Abby.
Abby. What? You can't hear
me bawling out your name?
Yes, but I thought covering my
face and breaking into a light jog
would let you know that I don't
want to be seen dead with you.
Why not? It's social suicide.
Not just for you, but
anyone seen talking to you.
So
..goodbye.
Well, I really want to
be part of a society.
Ah! How many
societies do you need?
Well, ACS don't need me no
more, and Mabel doesn't, so.
Wow. Devonye really
did a number on you.
We're not going to start
with that whole narrative.
I know girls like Devonye.
Trust me, she was the
one who stole your book.
Don't say you left it
in the rah'sclart woods.
Listen, you're talking trash
and until you come to me
with proper proof, this
conversation is done. OK.
What's that? Skeleton key.
Perks of when I was a
headmaster's daughter.
I say we go in there
and try and find it.
Abby, I love you, but seriously,
you have lost your mind.
You're scared of
what you might find.
Cos you know it will be there.
Crazy bitches always keep
mementos of bitches they felled.
You know what, I don't even
know why I'm indulging in this.
It's a no. I will be in her
room before the day is out,
whether you're with me or not.
Abby! Abiola!
Oh, my days.
KNOCKING
Come in.
You wanted to see me?
Take a seat.
Seems someone's been very
active on their computer.
I heard about your
event with the board.
I know you want to
stay here permanently.
I just thought that the
attendance of your Head Boy
and recommendation would
strengthen your bid.
That is if I am still
attending it as your Head Boy.
Hmm.
We'll be hosting the board
in the pavilion, 5pm.
This is incredibly
important, Mr Marsham.
It will determine
whether I stay or go.
And in turn, whether
you stay or go.
Do not screw with me
and I'll let you keep hold of that
pin for just a little bit longer.
Yes, Mistress.
How's that MI
application going?
Don't think this summer's
the best time for me to go.
Massachusetts is
lovely in the summer.
Deadline midnight.
You'll love summer school.
Hello? Can anybody help me?
I really need a wee-wee.
Hello? Who-who-who's that?
Thanks. You need to hurry up
and put something on the wall.
Is that what it's about?
Obviously. What's
taking you so long?
I will, it's just I haven't
found any secrets yet.
It's a boarding school,
there's secrets everywhere.
Get your head out of your
comic books and look up.
Why are you helping me?
Because I, um
I-I th I think you're
RATTLING
This was a warning.
If your contribution is not
there by this time tomorrow,
things will get worse.
Last time, they
broke a kid's leg.
Hey.
Hey, so, birthday
plans? I need some.
I thought Rupert was
taking you to dinner.
He is. He's desperate to
get me in a room alone.
Are you in danger?
He's just too much
at the moment.
I have the ick.
BOTH: Ick.
Is there anyone else?
Why would you think that?
I don't know, just asking.
You need to end it,
Florence. Like, officially.
It's not that simple.
Wow. Oh, my gosh.
Birthday present from Carol.
Oh, my God. Oh, wow.
I'm not in a couple, I'm
in a bloody throuple,
and I'm screwed if
I try and leave it.
Please can you turn a me-and-him
thing into a group thing?
I'll have a think.
I will also have a think.
Or you could put your petty
grievances aside and think together.
It is the most important day
of the year, my birthday!
What's the mandem telling me?
Abby invited me to
Florence's b-day ting.
Oh? Are you rolling?
I can't. I got work
to catch up on.
You? Behind on work?
I've got this, like,
surprise practical.
How are you feeling
all guilty about Abby
and now you're extending
invites to parties? No, no, no.
Nothing to feel
guilty about, mate.
Unknown T's a no.
His rider was too expensive.
Look, bruddah asked
for a hot tub.
Hot tub, six magnum
bottles of Cristal.
I don't even know what that is.
I bet he'll want, er, lobsters
with his 20-strong entourage.
This shit's expensive,
right? Wait, hold on.
Are you making up his rider?
Wow, got Sherlock Holmes
here in the building.
Carol had to cut the budget
for the Spring Ball, so
You really have no shame.
Yelena. These numbers are
..insane.
Coming to this
party or what, bruv?
No, I've got this
thing with Carol.
Oh, yeah? Nice to see you
getting yourself back out there
after Beatrix. It's with
the board, you idiot.
Uh, why are you
bigging up Carol?
I'm not going to big up
Carol, I'm bigging up myself.
She's coming for me.
If I get the board on the side,
then less likely to kick me out,
aren't they? Well, you can big
up the rest of us as well, then.
Could do that, you know.
When did a 'me' thing
become a 'we' thing now?
I already tried to get rid
of Carol for all of us.
Now you, you have the
chance to save us all.
You could tell the board that
she's trying to get rid of us.
I mean, I don't know.
I'd do it for you, though.
Yeah, funny you want me to
risk it all at this event
and you get to go party, so what?
What, there's a party? Yeah, yeah!
What? Yeah, yeah, I know that
I'm not invited, but I'm coming.
All right, hear what I'm saying.
There's a saying.
"Heavy is the head
that wears the crown."
Know what I'm trying to say?
OK, so I did Google it,
and apparently open auditions
for EastEnders isn't a thing,
which is so dumb, so I thought
we'd just go to the producers,
we'd go to that studio, and we'd
demand an audition for you, Femi.
I think we'll get it, we will,
I mean I have a cousin in
Oluwafemi Adewale
Temidayo Gbolahan Adebayo!
Hi, Uncle. Time to go.
What, what, what now?
I thought you would at least
let me see the term out.
Well, you thought wrong, donkey.
Maybe we should talk
about what happened.
It was a hockey game.
It turned out how it turned out.
No love lost.
No, but Abs, it
..shouldn't have
gone down like that.
I am sorry.
Maybe your dad will come back.
I don't think he will.
He's extended his trip.
I told him to.
He's actually really happy.
Urgh.
We could always rob
one of the Year 7s.
I mean, 50K a year to
them's like pocket money.
Rupert, hey.
We were wondering what you had
planned for Florence's birthday.
Why do you need to know?
We're her best friends, Rupert.
We know what she likes
and what she hates.
And we know what she's
like when she hates.
I'm taking her to La Maison
Claire. Again?! Again?!
Yes, she loves the food there.
I just think she wants to do
something with her friends.
You guys can just do
something with her afterwards.
OK, but don't bring her back to
us crying as we are not mopping
up her tears because you
thought 250 a head was fancy.
Oh, wait.
What's your thing, then?
Just get her ready for five o'clock,
and then leave the rest to us.
What? Your card. Jesus Christ.
We need to buy things, Rupert.
We're literally doing
this on your behalf!
I've, I've bought her something.
It's different, it's, uh,
it's not too expensive.
I, it's nice, I think
Look, it's touching.
Can I, can I just
run it by you first?
We need your card to sort out
all of your fuck ups. Oh, my God.
We are literally snowed
under as it is. OK.
You know, there's probably
enough money on this card to pay
for both our school fees.
Wait. But will he notice that
much money gone from his account?
Joking!
Oh, my God, you
would totally do it!
Hello, hello, hello.
Where you dey go? That was
the last of your things.
I'm just going to
say bye to everyone.
Kini? Are you married
to these people? Eh?
You've only known them for
five minutes, they'll survive.
Uncle, please, just
Before I lick your shins,
you are done in this place.
Stop playing games,
get in the car.
Frog. Your head
shaped like a frog.
KNOCKING
Come in.
I just saw Femi leaving.
I know. Very sad.
It is. He was excelling
and now he's going home.
Unfortunately, I can't
force people to stay.
But trying to bribe people could
potentially make them leave.
I thought we'd cleared this up.
I'm not sure what you think you
heard, but I'd be very careful
about throwing accusations
around without proof.
Understood.
Was there anything else?
No.
Not for now.
IN HEAD: Get your head out of
your comic books and look up.
It's a boarding school,
there's secrets everywhere.
The party's being
thrown by the FAB girls,
so you know it's going to be
fucking messy. It always is.
Hey. Hey. I was really hoping we
could talk about how we left things
the other day Yeah, um, maybe
later, I've got a party to get to.
I was thinking now.
See you later.
You check the drawers,
I'll check the wardrobe.
It's not there, let's go.
It'll only take twice as long if
I have to do it all by myself.
Mm, no.
Everything must be
exactly how you found it.
Abby, how many times
have you done this?
Oh, my days.
OK, so it's not here.
I'm not saying I'm
wrong, but I may have
..jumped to conclusions.
Who do you think this is?
I don't know. Her sister?
Bro, why would you hide a
picture of you and your sister
in the back of a cupboard?
It'd make no sense. Maybe
Maybe she hates her,
but her parents made her
bring a picture of her anyway.
Look how she's gripping
on her. That's romance.
Mm, yes. Wait
What? Look.
CHIMING
Bro, that's her. Bro, that
Mm.
Hello? Why would you answer it?
I want to know who she
is. Oh, my days. OK?
Dev?
Hello? Hello.
Dev.
It's cool, it's cool, it's cool,
it's cool, it's cool, it's cool,
it's calm, it's calm. Dev, are
you there? Just Oh, my God, go.
Go!
I can't believe you got me into
this mess, Abby. Oh, my days.
Well, at least we know she
didn't steal your book.
Yeah, but I have stolen
her fricking laptop!
Keep your voice down!
PHONE BUZZES
Oh! OK, I've got to sort out some
last-minute party stuff, but
Abby!
Wait for the corridor to clear,
sneak back in and put
the laptop back, OK?
Here, meet me by
the cars. Mwah.
Bye.
Oh, for the love of God.
KNOCKING
Wait there!
Come in.
Ah.
It won't be the entire board,
just the important ones.
I can't wait to meet
the important ones.
Remember, you are
attending for me.
Everything you say will
be for the benefit of me.
Stray from that, there
will be consequences.
Easy enough.
Gus, thank you for coming.
My pleasure.
Why are you here?
Carol asked me to come.
She told me about you
hacking her diary,
not turning up for the showcase.
What are you planning
to do in there?
Why do you always
think the worst of me?
Watch my make-up, watch my
make-up! OK, are you ready?
Yeah! I smell Claridge's!
SHE SCREAMS
Oh, bumper cars.
Yes. You girls know me so well.
Oh, babe!
Wait, this is what you used my
card for? Oh, my God, Rupert,
we will pay you
back when we can!
When are you going
to pay me back?
So tight right now.
Hey, fun, tacky but fun.
Bottoms up, OK.
Oh, wait. Do you think that we
can drink and drive on these?
We love fast cars!
Sure they'll be here any minute.
PHONE BUZZES
Um, do I have time to go
to the bathroom, please?
Be quick.
Thank you.
Hello.
Hey.
Yeah, I was just wanting
to call to say that
I wouldn't make it to your
parents' evening, but
Nah, it's cool. Mum's
going to come with me.
Afterwards, I'm going to spend
a few nights at Mum's house.
Do that every week or something.
Grandma said to
see how I get on.
Didn't want you finding
out from anyone else.
Do you, uh, do you think
that's a good idea?
Uh, yeah.
OK.
I just don't want you getting
attached and then she leaves again.
I'm just calling to
let you know, innit.
All right, bye.
They're here. Make
sure you stay in line.
Head Boy, good grades.
Why do you keep riding me?
Because you don't tell me
what's going on, Jaheim.
All the information I get
about you is through Carol.
Yeah, did Carol tell you
that she's been trying
to kick us out this whole time?
Hmm? Has she told you that
she keeps on riding us
since we've been here
just because we exist?
Yeah, you got us this
scholarship, thank you,
but, I mean, you ain't
been here. I have.
So, I'm going to tell
the board about Carol.
That's what this is all about.
I go in there, I schmooze some old
people, get them on side, job done.
OK, the board aren't
on your side, Jaheim.
You're not going to be
turning anyone against Carol,
so if that's your intention, you
might as well go home right now.
Yeah, well, if I don't go in
there, then I let those guys down
and I let Caleb down, even though
he doesn't need me any more.
I get that, but you're going
to feel uncomfortable as hell.
They're going to be prodding
you for your sad little stories
to make them feel
good about themselves.
It's not worth it,
and Carol will win.
Yeah, but Carol
Leave it with me.
I'm the grown-up,
you're the kid.
Go be one.
Are my strapping
young men ready to go?
Coming!
WHISPERS: God, I
hate that woman.
HORNS BLARE
Taking forever.
Oya! Come on!
Going to be late.
My friend, take your long
dangling dry lips off the floor.
Do you know how many children
would die for an education
you're about to
receive back home?
You are even lucky they have a
space for you to start on Monday.
Monday?! Your father said your
uniform arrived today even.
You can try it on
when we land tonight.
Aya! Come on!
Tonight? Oya, move, move,
move, move, move, move.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Are we going to the airport now?
Where did you think we was
going, eh? Eh? Disneyland?
Donkey, let him go!
Sloth, move your car!
Look at this donkey! Femi! Femi!
What are you doing?
Uncle, I'm sorry. I
can't do this right now.
I can't. Femi! You better come
back here now! I'm sorry, Uncle.
If I start running now
My boy! Hey! Femi!
Come back here now! Femi!
You must stop this nonsense now!
When I get my hands on you I am
going to deal with you well, well.
Come here, frog.
What is this wizardry? Femi!
Femi! Femi!
Is this what they are
teaching in your school, eh?
Running around like a pig?
I don't want to go back.
Everything I know is here.
Please don't make me.
Yay God-o. Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah. Uncle.
God, yeah, this boy
will kill me today.
Are you all right?
Ode ni e, do I look
all right to you?
Yeh, no, don't touch me, jare.
I'm going to call the ambulance.
No, no, no, no, no. Don't do that.
Don't do that. Just, just,
just help me up back to the car
before we miss your flight.
Oh! Uncle! Why can't you
just let me stay here?
Because you are failing!
The only reason I'm failing
is because I'm doing a subject
that my dad chose for me.
I'm not going to do any better
when I go to another country.
So, what needs to change? Because
these grades cannot continue.
Ask my dad to let me change
to a subject that I'm good at.
Like what?
Like drama?
Jesus Christ. Jesu ba mi
s e! On the mountain
Uncle, I am really good
at drama. You saw me.
He will say you end up
being a clown for a living,
while your friends are
running the country.
A school like mine,
it's about who you know.
The connections.
It's not only about the grades.
If I don't get good grades, I
I don't get to stay, anyway.
So, you have to let me try.
I will talk to your father.
So, you're going to let me stay?
But you have one term
to turn this around.
Ah!
Ay-ay-ay-ay-ay, don't, don't
touch me, donkey! Help me up.
Hey. What's happening, bro?
What you doing here?
Ting done already?
Yeah. Yeah? Uh-huh.
How'd it go? Are we saved?
I didn't go.
So, not only are you not saved,
but I'm probably gone as well.
Brother, why?
I wanted to party, innit?
This guy.
In fact, I've got some
business to attend to.
Catch you later.
Happy birthday.
I thought you couldn't make it!
Yeah? Well, I changed my plans
cos I'm such a great friend.
Right!
So, where's my birthday gift?
I am the gift.
My presence is a present.
Is that Shakespeare? Yeah.
Yeah. This can be
my birthday gift.
Never seen you drink.
What is it? Voddy.
Voddy for the body.
OK.
Yum!
Woo!
MUSIC: Bon Bon by Fcukers
Where the hell is Jaheim? Oh, uh,
he said he wasn't feeling well.
Oh, bullshit!
He is trying to screw me over.
Everyone's expecting
to meet him.
Making me look like a fool.
You fix this, Gus, or I'm
bringing him down with me.
Is this Jaheim having fun?
Are you surprised?
I just always thought
you were quite serious.
I thought you couldn't make it?
Well, uh, were you asking
for me or something?
No, no, I was not.
OK. Do you want a shot?
Oh, no, no, I'm OK.
Alex is getting me one.
Are you and Alex, like?
OK, why?
Just making small talk.
All right. Sounds a lot
like you wanted to ask
if I was dating somebody, but
you would never just go right out
and ask me. No, no, no,
that would ruin the cool.
So, you think I'm cool?
Jaheim, I just never
really got the impression
that you liked me very much,
so Really? Really. Yeah.
OK, well, I'm sorry I didn't
make you feel that way.
Cos I do. Well, did actually.
But that doesn't
matter any more.
Hey, babes. You ready? Ah, yeah.
How you doing, mate? You good?
Good, you? Yeah,
man. Good, good.
I'm going to go
over there. Yeah.
Just going to go
..do my thing.
Yeah, see you soon, yeah?
Yeah.
See you later. Yeah, see ya.
All right.
Yelena
I, uh, did you, uh,
did you get a chance to look
at those numbers I sent you?
Mm-hm. For Unknown
T? I did. Yeah.
Shame, right? Breddah's
going to brok the bank.
Might have to get Felix to enquire
about that skinny jean band
after all. The numbers are fine.
I'll pay from my own pocket.
Oh, really? It is
double his fee.
I don't care.
To have him cancel
now is social suicide.
Right.
Nah, I completely understand.
Yes! What are you
both talking about?
Um, Spring Balls.
Mm. It's going to be epic.
Right, Toby? Right.
I actually can't wait.
It was insane last year.
Mm.
What, who performed
last year, again?
Oh, no, not cos of the act.
We all took molly, and it
became absolutely crazy.
Mm-hm. How crazy?
Oh, let me show you.
Um
Ah, OK.
Is This is just
on your socials?
Yeah. I've never been
so hungover in my life.
This is my private account.
Mm, so hot.
Oh, that's what you wore?
Nothing on what I'm
wearing this year.
You should come round
tonight, and I'll show you.
Abby!
I think Carol needs to see this.
Toby, come on! Oh,
my God, look at this!
IN HEAD: It's a boarding school,
there's secrets everywhere.
Hey, roller-coaster that
way, now! Come now, come.
I ain't taking no Don't make
me whack you with that cocktail.
Can I get some attention
from the birthday girl?
You never see him like this.
Why are we always
going on about Jaheim?
Well, no, I'm just
happy for him.
It's just nice to see
him being so playful.
I got you something.
It's a big box for the
Tiffany earrings I asked for.
I bought the earrings as well.
This is something else.
OK.
I think you'll like it.
Is this Mummy's work?
This is me.
Do you like it?
It's got all the
You know, we went
to the gig and
It's funny, right? It's good.
The earrings are back at mine.
I've got those, this is just
I thought you'd like this.
Cool, um, I didn't
know you kept them.
Yeah.
Bit out of character.
I was expecting a
little bit more.
Thank, thank you.
Thanks. You know, just
I was expecting a bit more.
Come on Florence, let's go.
I didn't know there was
a way to accept gifts.
Thank you.
I thought it was nice.
Oh, fuck off.
Fuck off, go and
draw or something.
Boo!
Aargh! Fuck.
You OK?
Yeah. LAUGHS WEAKLY
Oh. Just enjoying the view.
Between your legs? Yep.
So, you've been enjoying
your birthday, then? Yeah.
It's been all right.
What, did Rupert not
get you the right pony?
No.
I wish it was that.
Well, listen, I'm no
relationship guru,
but it seems like you're
a little bit checked out.
I sort of miss the Rupert
that was a bit of a prick.
This
..chocolate-and-picture-frame
Rupert is a bit annoying.
So, why don't you just dump him?
I'm not just dating Rupert.
I am dating the
Watlington-Geese family.
Oh, I see, I see.
One must not just
dump one's partner,
one must consult one's
whole entire family.
One's, one's, one's.
Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa. Yes.
The whole Head Girl,
A-star, hockey thing
is all towards
something, Jaheim.
I've worked too hard to
just chuck it all away
because of a shitty
relationship.
So, if I have to play the dutiful
girlfriend to get a glowing
reference from Carol,
then so be it. Yeah.
But, um, well, if it
makes you feel any better,
I've pretty much gone and
fucked up my whole future, so
Is this why we're getting
the reckless Jaheim?
I wouldn't really call him that.
Maybe just, um
..a little less
overthinking Jaheim.
What about Beatrix?
That's dead.
There is no me and
Beatrix any more.
Ask her. She's with Alex.
Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday to me.
Florence! Florence,
where are you?
Shit.
Florence wait, Florence, hey.
Wait, wait, wait.
Um, thank you for
the amazing party.
It's OK.
See you later.
Bye.
You forgot your Shit.
Want to come back to mine?
I'm really tired, but
I'll see you tomorrow.
Thank you for a fab birthday.
Femi, what are you
doing back here?
I'm sorry for coming to your
house, but I wanted to tell you
Yeah, this is where
you tell me, Femi.
My uncle's going to let me stay.
Ah, that's great.
Yeah, I convinced him to let
me change my course to drama.
Uh, but can you
help me with that?
You know, talk to Carol?
Yeah, of course.
Thank you.
But am I good? Like,
you're not messing with me?
You're good, Femi.
Like, this isn't some
diversity thing for you.
Because if this doesn't
work, I am done.
My family don't play games, and
I can't be embarrassing myself.
I can't just magic
it out of nothing.
It's down to you.
Do you think you can do it?
Y-yeah.
I'm sorry, I can't hear you.
Yes.
I'm so fucking proud of you!
You worked so hard.
Right, I'll see you
in class tomorrow.
See you. Go on.
Night.
Ah, that was such a fun party.
What the fuck happened to you?
Have you been here
this whole time?
Why haven't you taken
back her laptop?
I was going to.
But hear me out.
You said you wanted to know
who this Megan girl is.
I know. It's her girlfriend.
How have we gone from
looking for your stolen book
to you stealing her laptop?
Are you the crazy one?
No, she still could
have stolen the book.
I'm saying that if she's lying
about having a girlfriend,
it means she could be
lying about the book.
This is evidence.
Evidence. Exactly.
She's going to know
you were in her room.
Oh, my God, don't steal
from the crime scene, Leah!
Oh, I'm sorry I don't
know the ins and outs
of breaking and entering, Abby.
I just need to tell Mabel.
Tell her what?
That you stole her
girlfriend's laptop
and went through her personal
shit like a psychopath?
Take it back. Take it back.
Don't say a word and pray to
God that no-one finds out.
Hey, Leah. Hi.
I didn't misplace it.
I left it right here.
And look, someone's been
going through my stuff.
I mean, who would steal
my laptop from me?
I'm really nice.
Yeah, like, the
nicest person I know.
You look burst.
How you feeling?
I jammed, man, why
did I drink so much?
You had fun, though. Urrgh!
Looking like you're pushing out
some demons or something, bro.
Mm, something like that.
What you doing? What's that?
A likkle love letter to Carol trying
to get your Head Boy spot back?
No, I don't care about that.
This is, um, a summer school
application for MIT in the States.
Yeah, I was pushing it back before
cos I thought I'd want to be here
for Caleb, but he don't
need me any more, so
Yeah, this is the only
thing I wanted for myself.
That's hard, fam.
Well, I need a
recommendation from Carol.
I'm drunk and it was due
at, like, midnight, so
Yeah, it's over.
It's calm, though.
It's not midnight
in Massachusetts.
Which is why I am
delighted to write this
letter of recommendation for
our Head Boy, Jaheim Marsham.
Delighted?
Delighted sounds too frilly,
you know what I mean?
Kind of makes you
sound like a
Like a white woman,
which is what Carol is.
Just let me write the damn ting.
Come wake me out of my bed say
I can't use the word delighted.
Char. Peace.
Big O, how are you getting on?
Good. It's just, morally
I feel kind of
Bro, this is the last of
the headed paper we've got.
So, don't fuck it up.
You lot really love me, innit?
BEEPING Oh!
What now?
Femzino.
Still clear, oga.
Done. Lovely.
You're up. Ah!
Make sure when you send it from
Carol's account, delete that email.
Tick tock, tick tock.
Done.
I love you guys.
Oh, what did he say? I
said, I love you guys.
I can't lie, that's a Y.
Who's there? Hello?
Hello! Who's that?!
Till we have built Jerusalem
In England's green
and pleasant land. ♪
Be seated.
I have some great news
to announce this morning.
It has been confirmed that
Master Ashford will
not be returning.
And as of yesterday,
I have been officially
appointed to lead St Gilbert's.
This morning marks my first
assembly as your headmistress
on permanent tenure.
First order of business.
My attention has recently been
brought to the debauched affairs
that took place at last
year's Spring Ball.
So
What the fuck?
..I have decided to
cancel the event.
Such
MURMERS OF
DISAPPROVAL Thank you.
Such behaviour is not welcome,
and definitely not
encouraged at St Gilbert's.
KNOCKING
Come in.
You let me down.
A lot of important people
were expecting you.
Gus covered for
you, but I won't.
It's been an honour.
Mum, I don't want
to be Head Boy.
It is a privilege.
For who? Literally everyone who
works with you is miserable.
You know, the day I
was forced to step down
was the best day of my life.
You are Head Boy, Felix,
and you will like it.
Take that look off your
face, you're not five.
PHONE BUZZES
Someone's having a good day?
Something like that.
So good to see Femi's back.
I'm glad we bumped
into each other.
I think this writer-in-residence
position has run its course.
As headmistress, I have to
make difficult decisions.
I do hope you understand.
You'll have to leave
sooner rather than later.
Yeah, it'll probably be later.
By the way, I came to see you
earlier, but you weren't in.
But I was able to get
your shredder working.
Just give me a shout if you
need help with anything else.
Hey. You've been avoiding me.
I thought I'd come over
and, uh, we could talk.
Yeah, well, I kind of have to be
somewhere right now. Oh, I see.
Secret Raisinette Alliance.
Where's my sketchbook?
I came here to talk and you're
worried about a sketchbook.
I left it here this morning.
I come back and
Do you think I took it?
Well, it's got
Raisinette stuff in it.
And I know how much you wanted
to be in the Raisinettes.
You got in, I
didn't, shit happens.
Look, if you have it,
just give it back, please.
And then we can forget about
it, and we can move on.
Screw you, Omar, and
your little cult.
I'm glad that book is gone,
and I hope that whatever dirty
secrets are in there, come out.
SCREAMS