Men in Trees s02e04 Episode Script
I Wood If I Could
would you please be patrick's best man? We need you.
Your mother gets a little crazy.
Never liked her.
Maybe we can study together sometime.
I'm a lutheran minister.
It's just not gonna work.
Jack and Lynn-- they broke up.
I messed us up.
I wanna help you, but I can't.
Jack.
Hey.
Hey.
What are you doing here? I couldn't sleep.
Why? What's wrong? Just wanted to tell you that I know I screwed up,coach, that you were right about everything.
I'm an idiot.
Jack.
It was you,marin.
It was always you.
jerome? Got a delivery for marin frist.
Since when do you make home deliveries? Since that boyfriend of yours started sending you goodies from all over the world.
Stuart is not my boyfriend.
He is my publisher.
Whatever you say.
Come on.
Open it.
Let's see what you got this time.
Ooh,"turn me on!" That's suggestive.
Relax,jerome.
It's a text messenger.
oh.
Oh,look at this.
Uh "marin,enjoy the technology.
"I wanted to get you something japanese, since 'elmo town eats characters' has been pre-sold in japan!" "Elmo town eats characters"? Well,it's the japanese translation for,my,uh,title, "letters from elmo.
" They took a little bit of license with it.
Japan,wow,and that's only based on the preview of my first three chapters.
May I have the honor? Um,be my guest.
Man,you're eatin' characters all over this map.
Whoo! Oh.
Check this out.
Eyes closed.
Oh! Oh! Nice shot.
Yeah.
You are looking at the star forward of the polk high stallions! oh,yeah.
You trying to relive the glory days? Just trying to get some exercise.
The heart thing.
Oh,yeah,right.
The heart thing.
Nothing like being sidelined to make you take stock in your life.
Yeah? Did you come up with any,uh,big realizations? Yeah, I hate being sidelined.
How about your heart thing? Huh? Lynn? Oh.
How you holding up? I'm okay,actually.
Good.
Yeah,but I've had a lot of time to think about it.
I guess I realized it was a good thing that Lynn came back.
Really? Yeah,I mean,if she hadn't, there always would've been a part of me holding out for the fantasy of her and what could've been.
Now I know I tried,and it didn't work.
I'm okay with that.
That's so evolved of you.
Yeah,well,I'm tired of living in the past.
I'm ready to move on.
Sounds like a plan.
Yeah.
Whoo-hoo! Sweetheart, I brought doughnuts! Oh.
It's just you.
And me.
Morning,chief celia.
Sure is.
Where's patrick? He went out for a run.
You wanna join us? Ooh,are there bear claws in there? Thank you! We were just talking about a certain bachelorette party for a certain bachelorette.
Have you received a certain invite? Oh,yeah,that.
I got it.
Hope you're in full party mode.
Yeah,we're gonna get tore up from the floor up.
I know I'm ready to rage and paint pottery.
I'm an officer of the law.
I do not rage, and I do not paint pottery.
Although you are marrying my son, so I feel somewhat obligated to be there.
Great.
Hey! Chief celia hates me.
Annie,she doesn't hate you.
She just she's celia.
She's gonna ruin my party.
I know it.
Oh,come on.
There is karaoke and pottery painting to be had.
That is a fun that cannot be ruined.
This is true.
what's this? It's the itinerary for my bachelorette party.
I-I've found that fun is more spontaneous if there's careful planning behind it.
Oh.
Uh you want me to bridenap you? Yes.
Oh.
oh,and we should really be at the boat by 7:20 for our 7:30 departure.
It looks like my maid of honor duties are in great shape.
Then I guess now I can flip on over to best man mode and concentrate on the bachelor party.
I've never had to plan a bachelor party before.
Oh,god.
Do you think I'm gonna have to get a stripper? Oh,you won't have to worry about that.
My patrick would never want a stripper.
Of course he's gonna want a stripper, even if he says he doesn't.
That's the groom's job-- to pretend like he doesn't want anything really crazy.
But as best man, it's your job to make sure he gets something really crazy.
Like strippers.
Uh,you're using "strippers" in the plural.
They tend to work best in sets,like encyclopedias.
Yeah,three is good.
You know,one to hold the camera, and the rest is private.
So,uh,fantasies are all about sex for you guys? You know,what about romance? These guys aren't doing romance in life.
Why would they do it in a fantasy? The huskies are getting crushed again.
Now there is a good fantasy I would love to see the alaska huskies finally win a game.
They might be the worst team in the history of hockey.
They just need better management.
That's an idea.
So it's hockey and sex then? Well,not necessarily in that order.
I think fantasies are overrated.
Oh,yeah? I used to make a living out of being a fantasy.
Mm-hmm.
It gets old real quick.
Give me reality any day.
So what about you,goldilocks? What do you fantasize about? If I did have a fantasy, I would not talk to a bunch of guys about it in a bar.
Smart girl.
although there is something I have been secretly wanting lately.
It involves a lumberJack who comes over and chops me up some firewood.
and? And? That's it.
Just need some wood.
uh,your turn,Jack.
My turn to what? What's your fantasy? no,I pass.
marin,I think you're vibrating.
Hey! My book sold in turkey! great! Thanks,jerome.
Patrick,we have got to talk about your bachelor party, or your o'bachelorton party, as I like to call it.
Have you thought about what you would like to do or have? Uh,beer.
Ping-pong.
Beer-pong.
Okay,okay,but you can do that any night of the week.
This is supposed to be your big fantasy night.
I am trying to do right by you as your best man.
Don't you have any fantasies deep down inside, waiting to come out? I don't think so.
Besides, if I did have fantasies, they're probably deep down for a reason and should never be brought to life.
Some dreams are better left unsaid.
But you don't have any such fantasies? Nah.
Well,let me know if anything comes to mind.
I'm here to help.
You're on.
Good day,elmo.
My partner and I were just talking about dreams.
I don't know about you, but sometimes I think dreams are the only things we have.
They help us escape the reality of our lives, but what if someone were to offer you the chance to turn things around and make a dream or two come true? Would that be so bad? What do you think,elmo? Is it wrong to make your fantasy a reality? Marin.
What are you doing? I'm returning your wood.
Well,most of it.
This is,like,75%, or 65% if you count the pieces that fell back over there somewhere.
I will,uh,pay you back the rest as soon as I can get some delivered.
You don't have to pay me back.
Didn't you get my note? Yeah,I got your note and the red ribbon.
I know a romantic gesture when I see one,Jack.
And though I appreciate the wood, returning it is my gesture o say,"no,thanks.
" Come on,marin.
You don't have to do this.
And you don't have to give me your wood with charmingly clever notes.
"Charmingly clever"? So you liked it? Seriously,Jack, what are you trying to do here? I'm trying to ask you out what? On a date.
The one we never had-- kayaking.
Yeah,I remember what we were gonna do, and I am sorry,but that is not gonna happen anytime soon.
There's way too much water under our bridge.
And no offense,but it's gonna take a lot more than a little wood to get me to go out with you.
huh? Oh.
S-sorry.
Was that distracting? Oh,it's okay.
Patrick sang that song to me this morning.
I have it stuck in my head.
So patrick sings to you,huh? Yeah, he's always serenading me.
He's very romantic like that.
And,you know,you like that kind of thing,right? I mean,you know,romantic gestures.
Of course.
All women do.
Even if they say they don't? Jack slattery's office.
Oh! Of course.
Please hold.
It's professor shaklan calling from the bering sea.
I-I-I guess you want to take it if it's a professor from the bering sea.
I like your study technique--very hands-on.
Shh.
I'm listening for lung sounds.
I can't track your airway if you're talking.
Should we take this into the bedroom? S-s-sorry.
Too fast? No,no,no,no.
You're--you are perfect.
It's just I can't do it.
Is there something wrong with your-- what? No.
No,I just-- it's not that I-I can't actually do it.
I mean,I've done it.
But now that I'm a pastor,I can't have premarital sex.
So you can't sleep with someone until I'm married.
Wow.
Uh,how long do I have to think about it? Okay,thanks.
I will.
So what did the bering sea want? It's a job offer.
Someone at the A.
M.
R.
F.
Recommended me for a position on a research ship.
Really? Yeah,and they're doing a study on humpback whales in the bering sea.
That's so great! You love whales.
This sounds like your dream job.
Yeah,it kind of is.
Wait.
Isn't this research ship in the bering sea? Yeah.
But isn't that,like,800 miles away? Well,thereabouts.
But how could you do that if you're still working here? Uh,I wouldn't be working here,Annie.
I'd be on the ship for nine months.
Nine months? That's almost a whole year.
ahem.
Hey.
Hey? I come home to find you building a swing on my porch, and all you have to say is "hey"? I remember the--this house used to have a swing out here, looking out the lake.
Every house needs a swing.
What if I don't want a swing? Uh,well,too late.
I thought I made myself clear with the wood.
Yeah,you did.
I said I didn't want any romantic gestures right now.
Yeah,I know.
So you're just flat-out ignoring what I said? Uh,pretty much.
Wow.
You've got a lot of nerve,buddy.
Only when it comes to stuff I really want.
Just give me one night.
Marin,come out on the water with me.
Fine.
But this is not a date.
Okay.
I'll take what I can get.
pick you up,uh,around 5:00.
Today? Yeah.
I'm not gonna risk it and miss my chance again.
so what do you think? Does this say,"let's go kayaking," or does it say "I dressed up to go kayaking"? You're giving this way too much thought.
I know! Why am I giving this so much thought? Because you're excited.
Do you know that Jack and I have actually never been on a date? We were supposed to,and then-- Lynn showed up.
Exactly.
Sometimes I think our whole relationship has been backwards.
How do you mean? Well,for starters, most people have sex after they've officially started dating.
Unless you're dating a minister, and then you're not having sex, oh,until you're married to him.
Ha ha.
Yeah.
When I fantasized about not being treated like a sex object, I should have been more specific.
so what are you gonna do? I don't know.
I really like him.
But? But I can't pretend this doesn't matter, and if I stay with him, what am I saying-- that this relationship is leading to marriage? I've done marriage.
It wasn't my cup of tea.
Well,maybe this whole no sex thing is a blessing in disguise.
Yeah,right.
No,seriously.
I it could be nice to have a long courtship.
That way,you get to know the guy before the whole sex thing gets in the way.
It's already in the way.
I don't know if I can do this.
I understand sex mm-hmm.
But relationships without sex-- what does that look like? It looks like you're gonna find out.
patrick,what are you doing? I'm practicing.
There's gonna be some heavy-duty beer-pong at the bachelor party.
I don't wanna end up on the floor.
Check this.
I'm gonna end up on the floor.
I love you.
You know that? Because you're different.
Different how? Marin said the guys at the chieftain were trying to convince her you wanted a stripper for your bachelor party.
I don't want a stripper.
I know.
You want ping-pong.
Well,that's why I love you.
You're not an animal.
Hey,I can be an animal.
I know.
You're a bear-- a big,soft teddy bear.
I could be a pretty sick teddy bear if I wanted to.
Of course you could.
Seriously,Annie, this sweetness it's just a mask.
I n ride the crazy train,you know? Could you be any more adorable? Mwah.
it's amazing out here.
just wait till the sun goes down.
There are more stars than you can imagine.
Thanks.
For what? For coming out with me.
I'm glad I did.
I know I pushed you into it a little.
Nudged strongly.
I just feel like I've wasted engh time already, and I want to apologize.
Jack no,I know I screwed up.
I was wrong about everything.
You don't have to do this.
Yes,I do, 'cause I haven't been able to get you out of my head.
I just want to get back to the way we were.
hey.
You warming up? Sorry I had to drag you in with my paddle.
Yeah.
I would've jumped in to help you, but it wouldn't have been safe.
None of this is safe.
It's exactly what I was afraid of.
It's all right.
People roll their kayaks all the time.
Not that.
This.
you can't be sweeping me off my feet anymore,Jack.
When you do, I end up being swept off by a kayak and almost drowned.
Yeah,I shouldn't ha said all that stuff.
No.
No,you said exactly what I thought I wanted to hear, till I heard it.
I'm sorry.
I'm not ready.
You did a number on me.
As much as I want to forget it,I can't.
Tell me what you need.
The only thing you can give me right now is time and space.
thanks for letting me use your place,ben.
Ah,it's no sweat.
All my regulars would've been at the party anyway.
Yeah.
there's the man of the hour! hey,I heard buzz got stuck in juneau.
That's a bummer.
Yeah.
Hey ho! What's behind the curtain? Ah! Don't even ask.
It's a surprise.
A dirty surprise.
Really? At least I know someone's fantasy is coming true tonight.
Have fun,boys! We will! hey.
Hey.
Uh,you forgot your book in class.
So I thought I'd just swing by and drop it off to you.
Thanks.
I was so distracted when the babysitter called about matty, I didn't even realize I'd forgotten it.
How's he doing? Did his fever go down? A little.
I keep trying to get him to rest, but he's really fidgety.
I'm like that when I get sick.
I just can't sit still.
Yeah.
Is that your dinner? Uh,no, those are popsicles.
Uh,they're for matty.
I stopped at the grocery store on the way over here.
They're supposed to be good for fevers,so wow,that's really thoughtful.
Um,I-I'd invite you in,but-- you know what? It's okay.
It's fine.
Um I'm gonna get out of your hair.
Eric,I-- mom? I don't feel well.
I know,sweetie pie.
That's why you should be in bed.
I'll be right there.
Who's that? Oh,um,that's eric.
He's my friend from class.
He brought you popsicles.
Isn't that nice? Hi,matty.
It's so nice to meet you.
I'm sorry that you're not feeling-- Oh.
Okay, what bachelorette is ready to get this party started? I am! Congratulations! Congratulations! Yay! Every bride-to-be deserves a stupid hat.
May all your dreams come true,honey.
Thanks,mommai.
Congratulations,Annie.
Oh,theresa,thank you! And Sara apologizes.
She couldn't be here, but matty wasn't feeling well.
She said give you a big hug.
Okay,ladies, let's get this party train chuggin'! Whoo-whoo! Grab an apron and your favorite ceramic and head on over to the bachelor-art corner.
Uh,we've got planters,plates,picture frames.
Oh,a bust of david.
That's not the only thing that's a bust.
Looks like we're taking this party train straight to snooze-ville.
Oh,and what makes painting even more fun? An open bar! Now we're talking! I wonder if the guys are having fun.
Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug who's the dude? What? hi,boys.
I'm sapphire.
Is this the o'bachelorton party? no,gentlemen,I am not.
I'm a mud wrestler, and that's a whole other guild.
Aren't there supposed to be two of you? Not that I'm aware of.
You see,normally the way this works is we drink while two hot girls wrestle each other.
Yeah,well,I'm all you got,gentlemen.
Now who's ready to meet their muddy maker? That's what you get for letting a girl plan your bachelor party.
Come on! Who's in?! What the hell.
let's rock.
Yeah! Ready? Now remember,it is salt, tequila,then lime.
Try not to get the lime pulp in my eye this time.
oh,jeez,is she okay? She's fine.
Five more! She won't be tomorrow.
Okay,this time,everybody's got to try one, including the bride-to-be.
Oh,no,thanks,mommai, I don't do shots.
I'm more of a beer,wine and spritzer girl.
come on! Live a little! Let's toss one down for Annie! To Annie! Annie! Whoo! That's beautiful,what you just said.
The truth is, I couldn't ask for a better match for my boy, and I loves you very much! What's happening? Her eyes are all watery.
I think she's crying.
Celia's one of those happy,emotional drunks.
I'm sorry.
I think I feel a fever coming on.
Oh,no! A dance fever! Whoo! * dance,disco,baby * whoo! Come on! Let's go! Ok! Whoo! She's loose! this is both lame and spectacular all at once.
Yeah,I guess.
Hey,come on,man,live it up.
This is kinda like your bachelor party,too.
Oh,how's that? You're newly single,man.
Free as a bird! Out on the prowl! Out on the water.
People saw you and marin kayaking yesterday.
Oh,yeah? How'd it go? Uh,it started off good, then it kinda took a dive.
Could've seen that one coming.
How's that? Come on,Jack.
It was way too soon.
I just wanna be with her,man.
Yeah,but it's not just about you,is it? What does marin want? Uh,time and space.
Maybe you should give that to her.
oh,there's my favorite bride-to-be.
Are you having fun? This is truly a magical night.
Do you know that chief celia I mean mom has hugged me four times? Oh,wow,she really is a happy drunk.
Thank you for everything.
Thank me? I barely lifted a finger.
You planned everything.
But you added the magic.
You have a gift for bringing people together.
Yeah.
I'm good where other people are concerned.
Oh it is so beautiful out here.
Look at all these stars.
Let's make a wish on one.
I've given up wishing for a while.
Oh.
Look,don't worry.
Uh,it's only nine months.
Jack probably won't even take it.
Take what? The research job on the bering sea.
I thought that's what you were upset about.
Wait.
Run that by me again.
Did I ever tell you you're my hero? You're everything, everything I wish I could be ohh.
Do you realize celia's been singing for two straight hours? Yeah.
It's crazy.
are you okay? Jack got a job offer a grillion miles away.
He did? Mm-hmm.
Did he take it? Oh,I don't know.
He didn't tell me.
And I don't know why I care.
is it okay to be talking to you about this? Oh,look,Lynn's my friend, but I know everything worked out for the best.
She wasn't gonna be happy with a guy who's in love with someone else.
Love? No.
No? We went on a date.
It was great until it wasn't.
Oh,yeah,yeah,and then I fell into the water.
You did? Yeah.
It's all my fault.
I pulled back.
It's all too soon.
Well,this is ironic,isn't it? I'm the one who loves love, and I can't sign for it right now.
Give it time.
It's amazing how things change with time.
You're not kidding.
So high,I almost touched the sky thank you,thank you thank god for you the wind beneath my wings U're a mess,jerome.
Mud.
I swallowed a lot of it.
She's as fast as she is strong.
Maybe you need some clean clothes.
A huskies jersey? Where the hell did you get that? From the new manager.
When did they change managers? When I bought the team.
How many beers have you had? I'm not drunk.
Look,I was sitting on all this money.
Why not use it to make a dream come true? Yeah,but can't you make your dream come true with a team that doesn't suck so bad? hey,look,we want 'em to have a winning season,right? Now it's in our hands.
To the alaska huskies! Huskies! Good for you,ben.
You follow through on your stupid dreams.
You're a husky.
I'm a wuss bag.
No,you're not.
You're a great guy.
Marin tried to make my dream come true, and then what do I do? I chicken out.
Hey,don't be too hard on yourself.
She could hurt you.
He's right.
Well,look at the boy! He's weak! Hey! I opened up a jelly jar the other day, and that bad boy was tight.
Well,the only jelly I see here is your spine.
He's--he's a chicken boy.
Hey,why don't you cluck for us,chicken boy,huh? Bawk-bawk! What do you say? Bawk-bawk-bawk-bawk! I say it's go time,mrs.
Sapphire! Yeah! not so fast,buddy! When does the stripper pop out of something? Beefcake! No,Annie didn't want any, and I respect her wishes.
Oh,you guys are pansies! I'm sure the guys are living it up right now with their stripper.
No,they're not.
Th-they're not,are they? No,I didn't get him a stripper.
I got him a mud wrestler.
Annie,I wanna give you something I made especially for you.
W-w-wait,you got my patrick a mud wrestler? Uh,well,uh,yeah.
It's what he wanted,so I marin,a mud wrestler is just a dirty stripper! We need to turn this party barge around! Pronto! Man,I love that little fire pistol! "w-a-r" spells war! Yes,I rule! Oh,no! Looks like someone's feeling a lot better.
Can I have another popsicle? No.
It's time for you to go to bed.
Uh,can you say good-bye to our guest? Good night.
Good night,buddy.
Ow! Sorry.
Okay.
Good night.
Night.
Uh,your clothes are done.
Thank you.
He's a-- he's a good kid,you know? And I think he cheats at cards.
I know.
I taught him how.
Oh.
Really? Sorry about your bachelorette party tonight.
Oh,that's okay.
Except for matty being sick, it was kinda the perfect night.
Yeah? I was kinda worried.
You know,I thought maybe I'd freaked you out with the whole celibacy thing.
It's been a deal breaker in the past.
It wouldn't be my first choice.
But tonight I'd forgotten about it.
I haven't.
You know,you're the first woman I've ever dated that makes me wanna throw my vows right out the window.
we should play cards.
Yeah,we should.
Okay.
Oh,my dear sweet lord, I'm in so much pain.
All you gotta do is say,"I quit.
" Never.
I hate you so much right now,mrs.
Sapphire! it's too late! She's got him! My sweet baby! You're under arrest,giganta! Drop my son! Put your hands on your head! Ooh! Pigs in a blanket! How's the party? Uh,it's pretty good.
Good work with the mud wrestler.
Thank you.
say it! Say,"I quit!" I I I I will never quit.
patrick tag me in! Annie,I can't.
It's okay,patrick.
We're a team.
I love you.
So the bride wants some too,huh? you're mine! Come on! Go,Annie! Annie! Annie! Annie! I got something for ya.
Ugh.
Thanks.
Ooh.
I can't believe you had to see me like that.
Are you kidding? If it hadn't been for you,I might've been sapphired to death.
Stupid fantasy.
So you're not mad? Actually I kinda liked seeing you all dirty.
You did? When I saw you watching me, it made me wanna get dirtier.
Hi,patrick.
Annie.
I gotta go.
Feel better.
bye,ma.
Bye,honey.
that was some party,huh,chief celia? Yes,it was.
It seemed like you had a good time.
Good time? I thought I was gonna have to shut things down.
A lot of violations at that party.
You're lucky.
I know.
* just like a star across my sky * * just like an angel off the page * * you have appeared to my life * * feel like I'll never be the same * * just like a song in my heart * Jack.
this is not a romantic gesture.
You need the firewood, and I had extra.
at least let me help you stack it.
All right,be my guest.
Look,marin,uh,I wanted to tell you I got this job offer.
I know.
Annie told me.
Give the girl a little tequila, she sings like a canary.
I wanted to say something at the party.
Yeah,me,too.
It just didn't seem like the right place.
Sohe bering sea,huh? Have you made a decision? Yeah,I took it this morning.
* You make me feel * oh.
Uh,well good for you.
So were you just asking me out to test the waters,or no.
I was asking you out because I wanted to be with you.
So if I had said I was ready yeah.
Maybe I would've stayed.
But you're not ready.
You were right,coach.
We both need some time and space.
Well,I guess nine months at sea is gonna give us a lot of that.
Yeah.
* We do it all the time * * blowing out my mind * * yeah * when fantasy meets reality, you never know what you're going to get.
Sometimes the reality falls just a little short of the dream and sometimes it exceeds all expectations.
I don't argue like this with anyone Annie? it takes courage to reveal your secret desires.
Sharing them is a gamble that sometimes brings us closer together * we do it all the time * * blowing out my mind * * just like a star across my sky * * just like an angel off the page * and sometimes * You have appeared to my life * pulls us apart.
maybe that old saying is true- "be careful what you wish for.
" It just might come true.
* Just like oil on my hand *
Your mother gets a little crazy.
Never liked her.
Maybe we can study together sometime.
I'm a lutheran minister.
It's just not gonna work.
Jack and Lynn-- they broke up.
I messed us up.
I wanna help you, but I can't.
Jack.
Hey.
Hey.
What are you doing here? I couldn't sleep.
Why? What's wrong? Just wanted to tell you that I know I screwed up,coach, that you were right about everything.
I'm an idiot.
Jack.
It was you,marin.
It was always you.
jerome? Got a delivery for marin frist.
Since when do you make home deliveries? Since that boyfriend of yours started sending you goodies from all over the world.
Stuart is not my boyfriend.
He is my publisher.
Whatever you say.
Come on.
Open it.
Let's see what you got this time.
Ooh,"turn me on!" That's suggestive.
Relax,jerome.
It's a text messenger.
oh.
Oh,look at this.
Uh "marin,enjoy the technology.
"I wanted to get you something japanese, since 'elmo town eats characters' has been pre-sold in japan!" "Elmo town eats characters"? Well,it's the japanese translation for,my,uh,title, "letters from elmo.
" They took a little bit of license with it.
Japan,wow,and that's only based on the preview of my first three chapters.
May I have the honor? Um,be my guest.
Man,you're eatin' characters all over this map.
Whoo! Oh.
Check this out.
Eyes closed.
Oh! Oh! Nice shot.
Yeah.
You are looking at the star forward of the polk high stallions! oh,yeah.
You trying to relive the glory days? Just trying to get some exercise.
The heart thing.
Oh,yeah,right.
The heart thing.
Nothing like being sidelined to make you take stock in your life.
Yeah? Did you come up with any,uh,big realizations? Yeah, I hate being sidelined.
How about your heart thing? Huh? Lynn? Oh.
How you holding up? I'm okay,actually.
Good.
Yeah,but I've had a lot of time to think about it.
I guess I realized it was a good thing that Lynn came back.
Really? Yeah,I mean,if she hadn't, there always would've been a part of me holding out for the fantasy of her and what could've been.
Now I know I tried,and it didn't work.
I'm okay with that.
That's so evolved of you.
Yeah,well,I'm tired of living in the past.
I'm ready to move on.
Sounds like a plan.
Yeah.
Whoo-hoo! Sweetheart, I brought doughnuts! Oh.
It's just you.
And me.
Morning,chief celia.
Sure is.
Where's patrick? He went out for a run.
You wanna join us? Ooh,are there bear claws in there? Thank you! We were just talking about a certain bachelorette party for a certain bachelorette.
Have you received a certain invite? Oh,yeah,that.
I got it.
Hope you're in full party mode.
Yeah,we're gonna get tore up from the floor up.
I know I'm ready to rage and paint pottery.
I'm an officer of the law.
I do not rage, and I do not paint pottery.
Although you are marrying my son, so I feel somewhat obligated to be there.
Great.
Hey! Chief celia hates me.
Annie,she doesn't hate you.
She just she's celia.
She's gonna ruin my party.
I know it.
Oh,come on.
There is karaoke and pottery painting to be had.
That is a fun that cannot be ruined.
This is true.
what's this? It's the itinerary for my bachelorette party.
I-I've found that fun is more spontaneous if there's careful planning behind it.
Oh.
Uh you want me to bridenap you? Yes.
Oh.
oh,and we should really be at the boat by 7:20 for our 7:30 departure.
It looks like my maid of honor duties are in great shape.
Then I guess now I can flip on over to best man mode and concentrate on the bachelor party.
I've never had to plan a bachelor party before.
Oh,god.
Do you think I'm gonna have to get a stripper? Oh,you won't have to worry about that.
My patrick would never want a stripper.
Of course he's gonna want a stripper, even if he says he doesn't.
That's the groom's job-- to pretend like he doesn't want anything really crazy.
But as best man, it's your job to make sure he gets something really crazy.
Like strippers.
Uh,you're using "strippers" in the plural.
They tend to work best in sets,like encyclopedias.
Yeah,three is good.
You know,one to hold the camera, and the rest is private.
So,uh,fantasies are all about sex for you guys? You know,what about romance? These guys aren't doing romance in life.
Why would they do it in a fantasy? The huskies are getting crushed again.
Now there is a good fantasy I would love to see the alaska huskies finally win a game.
They might be the worst team in the history of hockey.
They just need better management.
That's an idea.
So it's hockey and sex then? Well,not necessarily in that order.
I think fantasies are overrated.
Oh,yeah? I used to make a living out of being a fantasy.
Mm-hmm.
It gets old real quick.
Give me reality any day.
So what about you,goldilocks? What do you fantasize about? If I did have a fantasy, I would not talk to a bunch of guys about it in a bar.
Smart girl.
although there is something I have been secretly wanting lately.
It involves a lumberJack who comes over and chops me up some firewood.
and? And? That's it.
Just need some wood.
uh,your turn,Jack.
My turn to what? What's your fantasy? no,I pass.
marin,I think you're vibrating.
Hey! My book sold in turkey! great! Thanks,jerome.
Patrick,we have got to talk about your bachelor party, or your o'bachelorton party, as I like to call it.
Have you thought about what you would like to do or have? Uh,beer.
Ping-pong.
Beer-pong.
Okay,okay,but you can do that any night of the week.
This is supposed to be your big fantasy night.
I am trying to do right by you as your best man.
Don't you have any fantasies deep down inside, waiting to come out? I don't think so.
Besides, if I did have fantasies, they're probably deep down for a reason and should never be brought to life.
Some dreams are better left unsaid.
But you don't have any such fantasies? Nah.
Well,let me know if anything comes to mind.
I'm here to help.
You're on.
Good day,elmo.
My partner and I were just talking about dreams.
I don't know about you, but sometimes I think dreams are the only things we have.
They help us escape the reality of our lives, but what if someone were to offer you the chance to turn things around and make a dream or two come true? Would that be so bad? What do you think,elmo? Is it wrong to make your fantasy a reality? Marin.
What are you doing? I'm returning your wood.
Well,most of it.
This is,like,75%, or 65% if you count the pieces that fell back over there somewhere.
I will,uh,pay you back the rest as soon as I can get some delivered.
You don't have to pay me back.
Didn't you get my note? Yeah,I got your note and the red ribbon.
I know a romantic gesture when I see one,Jack.
And though I appreciate the wood, returning it is my gesture o say,"no,thanks.
" Come on,marin.
You don't have to do this.
And you don't have to give me your wood with charmingly clever notes.
"Charmingly clever"? So you liked it? Seriously,Jack, what are you trying to do here? I'm trying to ask you out what? On a date.
The one we never had-- kayaking.
Yeah,I remember what we were gonna do, and I am sorry,but that is not gonna happen anytime soon.
There's way too much water under our bridge.
And no offense,but it's gonna take a lot more than a little wood to get me to go out with you.
huh? Oh.
S-sorry.
Was that distracting? Oh,it's okay.
Patrick sang that song to me this morning.
I have it stuck in my head.
So patrick sings to you,huh? Yeah, he's always serenading me.
He's very romantic like that.
And,you know,you like that kind of thing,right? I mean,you know,romantic gestures.
Of course.
All women do.
Even if they say they don't? Jack slattery's office.
Oh! Of course.
Please hold.
It's professor shaklan calling from the bering sea.
I-I-I guess you want to take it if it's a professor from the bering sea.
I like your study technique--very hands-on.
Shh.
I'm listening for lung sounds.
I can't track your airway if you're talking.
Should we take this into the bedroom? S-s-sorry.
Too fast? No,no,no,no.
You're--you are perfect.
It's just I can't do it.
Is there something wrong with your-- what? No.
No,I just-- it's not that I-I can't actually do it.
I mean,I've done it.
But now that I'm a pastor,I can't have premarital sex.
So you can't sleep with someone until I'm married.
Wow.
Uh,how long do I have to think about it? Okay,thanks.
I will.
So what did the bering sea want? It's a job offer.
Someone at the A.
M.
R.
F.
Recommended me for a position on a research ship.
Really? Yeah,and they're doing a study on humpback whales in the bering sea.
That's so great! You love whales.
This sounds like your dream job.
Yeah,it kind of is.
Wait.
Isn't this research ship in the bering sea? Yeah.
But isn't that,like,800 miles away? Well,thereabouts.
But how could you do that if you're still working here? Uh,I wouldn't be working here,Annie.
I'd be on the ship for nine months.
Nine months? That's almost a whole year.
ahem.
Hey.
Hey? I come home to find you building a swing on my porch, and all you have to say is "hey"? I remember the--this house used to have a swing out here, looking out the lake.
Every house needs a swing.
What if I don't want a swing? Uh,well,too late.
I thought I made myself clear with the wood.
Yeah,you did.
I said I didn't want any romantic gestures right now.
Yeah,I know.
So you're just flat-out ignoring what I said? Uh,pretty much.
Wow.
You've got a lot of nerve,buddy.
Only when it comes to stuff I really want.
Just give me one night.
Marin,come out on the water with me.
Fine.
But this is not a date.
Okay.
I'll take what I can get.
pick you up,uh,around 5:00.
Today? Yeah.
I'm not gonna risk it and miss my chance again.
so what do you think? Does this say,"let's go kayaking," or does it say "I dressed up to go kayaking"? You're giving this way too much thought.
I know! Why am I giving this so much thought? Because you're excited.
Do you know that Jack and I have actually never been on a date? We were supposed to,and then-- Lynn showed up.
Exactly.
Sometimes I think our whole relationship has been backwards.
How do you mean? Well,for starters, most people have sex after they've officially started dating.
Unless you're dating a minister, and then you're not having sex, oh,until you're married to him.
Ha ha.
Yeah.
When I fantasized about not being treated like a sex object, I should have been more specific.
so what are you gonna do? I don't know.
I really like him.
But? But I can't pretend this doesn't matter, and if I stay with him, what am I saying-- that this relationship is leading to marriage? I've done marriage.
It wasn't my cup of tea.
Well,maybe this whole no sex thing is a blessing in disguise.
Yeah,right.
No,seriously.
I it could be nice to have a long courtship.
That way,you get to know the guy before the whole sex thing gets in the way.
It's already in the way.
I don't know if I can do this.
I understand sex mm-hmm.
But relationships without sex-- what does that look like? It looks like you're gonna find out.
patrick,what are you doing? I'm practicing.
There's gonna be some heavy-duty beer-pong at the bachelor party.
I don't wanna end up on the floor.
Check this.
I'm gonna end up on the floor.
I love you.
You know that? Because you're different.
Different how? Marin said the guys at the chieftain were trying to convince her you wanted a stripper for your bachelor party.
I don't want a stripper.
I know.
You want ping-pong.
Well,that's why I love you.
You're not an animal.
Hey,I can be an animal.
I know.
You're a bear-- a big,soft teddy bear.
I could be a pretty sick teddy bear if I wanted to.
Of course you could.
Seriously,Annie, this sweetness it's just a mask.
I n ride the crazy train,you know? Could you be any more adorable? Mwah.
it's amazing out here.
just wait till the sun goes down.
There are more stars than you can imagine.
Thanks.
For what? For coming out with me.
I'm glad I did.
I know I pushed you into it a little.
Nudged strongly.
I just feel like I've wasted engh time already, and I want to apologize.
Jack no,I know I screwed up.
I was wrong about everything.
You don't have to do this.
Yes,I do, 'cause I haven't been able to get you out of my head.
I just want to get back to the way we were.
hey.
You warming up? Sorry I had to drag you in with my paddle.
Yeah.
I would've jumped in to help you, but it wouldn't have been safe.
None of this is safe.
It's exactly what I was afraid of.
It's all right.
People roll their kayaks all the time.
Not that.
This.
you can't be sweeping me off my feet anymore,Jack.
When you do, I end up being swept off by a kayak and almost drowned.
Yeah,I shouldn't ha said all that stuff.
No.
No,you said exactly what I thought I wanted to hear, till I heard it.
I'm sorry.
I'm not ready.
You did a number on me.
As much as I want to forget it,I can't.
Tell me what you need.
The only thing you can give me right now is time and space.
thanks for letting me use your place,ben.
Ah,it's no sweat.
All my regulars would've been at the party anyway.
Yeah.
there's the man of the hour! hey,I heard buzz got stuck in juneau.
That's a bummer.
Yeah.
Hey ho! What's behind the curtain? Ah! Don't even ask.
It's a surprise.
A dirty surprise.
Really? At least I know someone's fantasy is coming true tonight.
Have fun,boys! We will! hey.
Hey.
Uh,you forgot your book in class.
So I thought I'd just swing by and drop it off to you.
Thanks.
I was so distracted when the babysitter called about matty, I didn't even realize I'd forgotten it.
How's he doing? Did his fever go down? A little.
I keep trying to get him to rest, but he's really fidgety.
I'm like that when I get sick.
I just can't sit still.
Yeah.
Is that your dinner? Uh,no, those are popsicles.
Uh,they're for matty.
I stopped at the grocery store on the way over here.
They're supposed to be good for fevers,so wow,that's really thoughtful.
Um,I-I'd invite you in,but-- you know what? It's okay.
It's fine.
Um I'm gonna get out of your hair.
Eric,I-- mom? I don't feel well.
I know,sweetie pie.
That's why you should be in bed.
I'll be right there.
Who's that? Oh,um,that's eric.
He's my friend from class.
He brought you popsicles.
Isn't that nice? Hi,matty.
It's so nice to meet you.
I'm sorry that you're not feeling-- Oh.
Okay, what bachelorette is ready to get this party started? I am! Congratulations! Congratulations! Yay! Every bride-to-be deserves a stupid hat.
May all your dreams come true,honey.
Thanks,mommai.
Congratulations,Annie.
Oh,theresa,thank you! And Sara apologizes.
She couldn't be here, but matty wasn't feeling well.
She said give you a big hug.
Okay,ladies, let's get this party train chuggin'! Whoo-whoo! Grab an apron and your favorite ceramic and head on over to the bachelor-art corner.
Uh,we've got planters,plates,picture frames.
Oh,a bust of david.
That's not the only thing that's a bust.
Looks like we're taking this party train straight to snooze-ville.
Oh,and what makes painting even more fun? An open bar! Now we're talking! I wonder if the guys are having fun.
Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug who's the dude? What? hi,boys.
I'm sapphire.
Is this the o'bachelorton party? no,gentlemen,I am not.
I'm a mud wrestler, and that's a whole other guild.
Aren't there supposed to be two of you? Not that I'm aware of.
You see,normally the way this works is we drink while two hot girls wrestle each other.
Yeah,well,I'm all you got,gentlemen.
Now who's ready to meet their muddy maker? That's what you get for letting a girl plan your bachelor party.
Come on! Who's in?! What the hell.
let's rock.
Yeah! Ready? Now remember,it is salt, tequila,then lime.
Try not to get the lime pulp in my eye this time.
oh,jeez,is she okay? She's fine.
Five more! She won't be tomorrow.
Okay,this time,everybody's got to try one, including the bride-to-be.
Oh,no,thanks,mommai, I don't do shots.
I'm more of a beer,wine and spritzer girl.
come on! Live a little! Let's toss one down for Annie! To Annie! Annie! Whoo! That's beautiful,what you just said.
The truth is, I couldn't ask for a better match for my boy, and I loves you very much! What's happening? Her eyes are all watery.
I think she's crying.
Celia's one of those happy,emotional drunks.
I'm sorry.
I think I feel a fever coming on.
Oh,no! A dance fever! Whoo! * dance,disco,baby * whoo! Come on! Let's go! Ok! Whoo! She's loose! this is both lame and spectacular all at once.
Yeah,I guess.
Hey,come on,man,live it up.
This is kinda like your bachelor party,too.
Oh,how's that? You're newly single,man.
Free as a bird! Out on the prowl! Out on the water.
People saw you and marin kayaking yesterday.
Oh,yeah? How'd it go? Uh,it started off good, then it kinda took a dive.
Could've seen that one coming.
How's that? Come on,Jack.
It was way too soon.
I just wanna be with her,man.
Yeah,but it's not just about you,is it? What does marin want? Uh,time and space.
Maybe you should give that to her.
oh,there's my favorite bride-to-be.
Are you having fun? This is truly a magical night.
Do you know that chief celia I mean mom has hugged me four times? Oh,wow,she really is a happy drunk.
Thank you for everything.
Thank me? I barely lifted a finger.
You planned everything.
But you added the magic.
You have a gift for bringing people together.
Yeah.
I'm good where other people are concerned.
Oh it is so beautiful out here.
Look at all these stars.
Let's make a wish on one.
I've given up wishing for a while.
Oh.
Look,don't worry.
Uh,it's only nine months.
Jack probably won't even take it.
Take what? The research job on the bering sea.
I thought that's what you were upset about.
Wait.
Run that by me again.
Did I ever tell you you're my hero? You're everything, everything I wish I could be ohh.
Do you realize celia's been singing for two straight hours? Yeah.
It's crazy.
are you okay? Jack got a job offer a grillion miles away.
He did? Mm-hmm.
Did he take it? Oh,I don't know.
He didn't tell me.
And I don't know why I care.
is it okay to be talking to you about this? Oh,look,Lynn's my friend, but I know everything worked out for the best.
She wasn't gonna be happy with a guy who's in love with someone else.
Love? No.
No? We went on a date.
It was great until it wasn't.
Oh,yeah,yeah,and then I fell into the water.
You did? Yeah.
It's all my fault.
I pulled back.
It's all too soon.
Well,this is ironic,isn't it? I'm the one who loves love, and I can't sign for it right now.
Give it time.
It's amazing how things change with time.
You're not kidding.
So high,I almost touched the sky thank you,thank you thank god for you the wind beneath my wings U're a mess,jerome.
Mud.
I swallowed a lot of it.
She's as fast as she is strong.
Maybe you need some clean clothes.
A huskies jersey? Where the hell did you get that? From the new manager.
When did they change managers? When I bought the team.
How many beers have you had? I'm not drunk.
Look,I was sitting on all this money.
Why not use it to make a dream come true? Yeah,but can't you make your dream come true with a team that doesn't suck so bad? hey,look,we want 'em to have a winning season,right? Now it's in our hands.
To the alaska huskies! Huskies! Good for you,ben.
You follow through on your stupid dreams.
You're a husky.
I'm a wuss bag.
No,you're not.
You're a great guy.
Marin tried to make my dream come true, and then what do I do? I chicken out.
Hey,don't be too hard on yourself.
She could hurt you.
He's right.
Well,look at the boy! He's weak! Hey! I opened up a jelly jar the other day, and that bad boy was tight.
Well,the only jelly I see here is your spine.
He's--he's a chicken boy.
Hey,why don't you cluck for us,chicken boy,huh? Bawk-bawk! What do you say? Bawk-bawk-bawk-bawk! I say it's go time,mrs.
Sapphire! Yeah! not so fast,buddy! When does the stripper pop out of something? Beefcake! No,Annie didn't want any, and I respect her wishes.
Oh,you guys are pansies! I'm sure the guys are living it up right now with their stripper.
No,they're not.
Th-they're not,are they? No,I didn't get him a stripper.
I got him a mud wrestler.
Annie,I wanna give you something I made especially for you.
W-w-wait,you got my patrick a mud wrestler? Uh,well,uh,yeah.
It's what he wanted,so I marin,a mud wrestler is just a dirty stripper! We need to turn this party barge around! Pronto! Man,I love that little fire pistol! "w-a-r" spells war! Yes,I rule! Oh,no! Looks like someone's feeling a lot better.
Can I have another popsicle? No.
It's time for you to go to bed.
Uh,can you say good-bye to our guest? Good night.
Good night,buddy.
Ow! Sorry.
Okay.
Good night.
Night.
Uh,your clothes are done.
Thank you.
He's a-- he's a good kid,you know? And I think he cheats at cards.
I know.
I taught him how.
Oh.
Really? Sorry about your bachelorette party tonight.
Oh,that's okay.
Except for matty being sick, it was kinda the perfect night.
Yeah? I was kinda worried.
You know,I thought maybe I'd freaked you out with the whole celibacy thing.
It's been a deal breaker in the past.
It wouldn't be my first choice.
But tonight I'd forgotten about it.
I haven't.
You know,you're the first woman I've ever dated that makes me wanna throw my vows right out the window.
we should play cards.
Yeah,we should.
Okay.
Oh,my dear sweet lord, I'm in so much pain.
All you gotta do is say,"I quit.
" Never.
I hate you so much right now,mrs.
Sapphire! it's too late! She's got him! My sweet baby! You're under arrest,giganta! Drop my son! Put your hands on your head! Ooh! Pigs in a blanket! How's the party? Uh,it's pretty good.
Good work with the mud wrestler.
Thank you.
say it! Say,"I quit!" I I I I will never quit.
patrick tag me in! Annie,I can't.
It's okay,patrick.
We're a team.
I love you.
So the bride wants some too,huh? you're mine! Come on! Go,Annie! Annie! Annie! Annie! I got something for ya.
Ugh.
Thanks.
Ooh.
I can't believe you had to see me like that.
Are you kidding? If it hadn't been for you,I might've been sapphired to death.
Stupid fantasy.
So you're not mad? Actually I kinda liked seeing you all dirty.
You did? When I saw you watching me, it made me wanna get dirtier.
Hi,patrick.
Annie.
I gotta go.
Feel better.
bye,ma.
Bye,honey.
that was some party,huh,chief celia? Yes,it was.
It seemed like you had a good time.
Good time? I thought I was gonna have to shut things down.
A lot of violations at that party.
You're lucky.
I know.
* just like a star across my sky * * just like an angel off the page * * you have appeared to my life * * feel like I'll never be the same * * just like a song in my heart * Jack.
this is not a romantic gesture.
You need the firewood, and I had extra.
at least let me help you stack it.
All right,be my guest.
Look,marin,uh,I wanted to tell you I got this job offer.
I know.
Annie told me.
Give the girl a little tequila, she sings like a canary.
I wanted to say something at the party.
Yeah,me,too.
It just didn't seem like the right place.
Sohe bering sea,huh? Have you made a decision? Yeah,I took it this morning.
* You make me feel * oh.
Uh,well good for you.
So were you just asking me out to test the waters,or no.
I was asking you out because I wanted to be with you.
So if I had said I was ready yeah.
Maybe I would've stayed.
But you're not ready.
You were right,coach.
We both need some time and space.
Well,I guess nine months at sea is gonna give us a lot of that.
Yeah.
* We do it all the time * * blowing out my mind * * yeah * when fantasy meets reality, you never know what you're going to get.
Sometimes the reality falls just a little short of the dream and sometimes it exceeds all expectations.
I don't argue like this with anyone Annie? it takes courage to reveal your secret desires.
Sharing them is a gamble that sometimes brings us closer together * we do it all the time * * blowing out my mind * * just like a star across my sky * * just like an angel off the page * and sometimes * You have appeared to my life * pulls us apart.
maybe that old saying is true- "be careful what you wish for.
" It just might come true.
* Just like oil on my hand *