Platonic (2023) s02e04 Episode Script

1
[Sylvia] Okay, this is ridiculous.
Are you gonna go in there
- and talk to Jenna or not?
- I don't know.
This morning, I felt, like,
so confident and sure of my decision.
Now that I'm here, like, I'm spinning out
a little bit. I don't know what to do.
I don't know if I'm right.
I wish the universe would give me a sign
that I was for sure doing the right thing.
Okay. Well, we've been here
- for 45 minutes.
- I know. Yeah.
And not to mention
the three and a half hours it took…
- We hit a lot of traffic. A lot… Yeah.
- …to drive down here.
If you don't want to do this
then let's just turn around,
but I-I have things to do, so…
What do you have to do?
What do you mean?
- I got a lot of things to do.
- If I cancel my wedding,
you don't have another gig lined up
or anything like that. Do you?
- You have nothing.
- Something will come up.
- Something will come up?
- Yes.
In this economy? Something will come up?
- You gonna talk to me about the economy?
- You gotta aggressively…
You gotta chase it. You gotta do
what I did. You gotta go corporate.
- Corporate?
- Yeah.
Johnny 66, they have
these huge corporate retreats
where they blow so much money on them.
They had the Barenaked Ladies
there last year.
- Wow!
- And after they performed,
they all got in a dunk tank.
You could fucking dunk these dudes.
- What?
- Yeah. I was like, "This is humiliating.
They should not have agreed to this."
But they did.
Well, I wouldn't even know
how to go about getting a gig like that.
I mean, Charlie works for a big law firm.
I assume they have, you know,
big events, parties.
- Stuff like that.
- I guess.
- Yeah, he has, like, an annual party.
- There you go.
- That's embarrassing.
- Why is it embarrassing?
I don't wanna get a handout
from my husband.
- Not a handout. It's not a big deal.
- What's happening?
What are we talking about here?
- Are you going in or not?
- I'm stalling.
- I don't want to go.
- Just get out. Get… Just go.
Just… You have to.
Go talk to Jenna.
I'll go.
["Genius of Love" playing]
Penguin.
- Hey. Yeah, I just got back.
- Hey, you're back. Hi.
- Look, um…
- Yeah. Uh, you know, perfect timing.
Tee time is in 15 minutes. [chuckles]
- This won't take that long.
- Hey!
- What shouldn't take long?
- [Hank] Guess who I ran into.
Our wedding planner.
- Huh? [laughs] Huh?
- Sylvia! [chuckles] What…
- What are you doing here?
- I, uh…
I was just in the neighborhood.
- Oh.
- Oh, did you two drive down together?
[Sylvia breathes sharply]
- We… did. Yes.
- Yeah, we did. Mm-hmm.
- We did drive down together.
- We did.
- I had a meeting with a balloon vendor.
- Balloon vendor. Yeah.
And so we carpooled,
just 'cause of the balloon meeting.
- Yeah.
- Yeah. Well,
the balloon guy is gonna have to wait,
because you two are coming out with us
on the links this afternoon.
- [Hank] Oh, yeah. Oh, I like this.
- [Sylvia] Oh!
- Wow, huh? Come on.
- [Sylvia] Whoa.
- She a keeper or what?
- Wow, look at that.
What a… What a whack.
- [Jenna] Thanks.
- Come on.
- All right. So, who's next?
- Oh, no, not me.
I've never held one of these.
I don't even know why I'm here.
- I don't know how I ended up here.
- Yeah.
Well, I mean, Will, he's a beginner too.
- Right?
- Yeah. I would,
but I forgot my glove and my spiky shoes,
you know?
- I got a glove for you.
- Yeah.
- Here you go, big boy.
- Come on, Penguin.
- Daddy's not gonna take no for an answer.
- Get it off his hands.
- Now you have to do it.
- Five-iron…
- Now I have to. How do you say no?
- …and a ball.
- Great. Thank you.
- There you go.
- [chuckles] You got this.
- All righty.
- You got this, son. I know you do.
- Uh-huh.
- Terrific.
- All right.
- Look out.
- [chuckles]
- [Sylvia] You got this.
- [Hank] Here we go.
- All righty.
- [Sylvia] This is awesome. [chuckles]
- [screaming, groaning]
- Oh, fuck.
Oh, shit. Oh, fuck.
- Oh, shit. I fucking…
- [shouting]
- Oh, fuck. Oh, shit.
- Holy fudge. Holy fudge.
Holy fudge. Oh! Call 911. Call…
- Call… Someone call 911.
- Oh, God.
- [Will] Oh, shit. Oh, God.
- Help! Help!
Help! Help!
- Oh, God. Oh, God.
- Help!
Help!
- Go faster! Please, go fucking faster!
- I'm going.
- Oh, God.
- It's fine, sir. You're going to be okay.
[chattering]
You really don't see
that much blood every day. [grunts]
[sighs] Unless you're a butcher, right?
[softly] Yeah.
Or a vampire.
[chuckles]
Sorry, just tryna lighten things up.
I'm really sorry that I puked.
I think that made things worse. [sighs]
- It did.
- I'm sorry.
I can't believe I did that.
I just hope he's okay.
Oh. Hey, uh, Doc… Doctor.
- Um…
- Yeah?
I was just wondering if there's
any update on, uh, Hank Lewis?
Uh, so the good news is that he's stable
and he's starting to regain consciousness.
Oh, my God.
Thank God.
Great. Great news.
And what is the current status
of, uh, his eyeball?
Well, he suffered
a complete ocular rupture.
[Will] Oh, okay.
So, it ruptured, but it'll be okay?
No, his eye exploded.
[sighs] And by exploded, you mean…
It has ceased to exist.
And by that, you mean…
Oh, it is no more.
[sighs] That's bad. That sounds bad.
Okay, great. Thank you.
- Will.
- Hey.
Hey. Could you come in here?
Dad wants to see you.
- Of course, yes. Of course.
- Okay.
What do I do? Do we run?
I can't go in there.
I took a man's eyeball.
- Eye for an eye.
- Just… You have to go in there.
I owe him an eye. I can't do it.
Don't take any photos.
Just please, don't take any photos.
In what universe would I take
a fucking photo of this?
Jesus Christ.
[groans]
[brother 1] That's what I've been tryna
think about this entire wedding.
- [brother 2] I don't understand it.
- [Hank] Will.
[Will] I'm not sure I'm the guy
you want to see right now,
or be around,
but I-I-I just wanted to say I'm…
I'm so sorry about what happened.
I obviously didn't do it on purpose.
I know there are no words to express
how messed up this is,
but it was an accident and I-I just hope
- you guys all can forgive me, you know?
- [Hank] Will.
It's okay.
I know I may have lost an eye,
but I gained a son.
- [Hank chuckles]
- [Jenna chuckles]
[Will] Oh.
- We're all family now.
- [Jenna sighs]
[Jenna, Jenna's mom] We're family now.
- We're all family.
- We're all family now.
- We're all family now.
- [Lewis family] Oh!
- [laughs] Oh, come on.
- [grumbles] There we go.
- That was so good.
- Oh, okay.
- [brother] Yes.
- Mmm.
Oh, Dad,
it looks like it's time for your X-ray.
- Oh.
- [Will] Oh, great. I'll…
I'll be right back.
[chuckles]
- All right. Come this way. [sniffs]
- Yeah. Yeah.
Oh, God. [sighs]
- That was brutal.
- Oh.
That was so much worse
than I thought it was gonna be.
I can never break up with Jenna.
I'm trapped in this relationship forever.
I can't do it.
Buddy, I know
this is a terrible situation,
and maybe today's not the day to say it,
- but…
- You think?
Is today not the day?
I shouldn't do it right now?
Now's a bad time?
The facts about you and Jenna haven't
changed because of this horrible accident.
- It's terrible, but it's true.
- Oh, God.
I just feel so bad for her father.
He has no eyeball.
There's nothing there.
It's like they fucking packed it
full of gauze or some shit.
I don't even know.
I just can't even fucking believe it.
[sighs] God, I feel guilty.
I need to go check on Jenna and
see if she wants some food or anything.
Oof, I don't know how anyone who's seen
what she's seen can eat anything.
I get it. It's gross.
You don't need to fucking keep
bringing it up. It doesn't help.
Well, I'll never be hungry again.
[sniffles]
- Hey.
- Hey.
I'm…
- I'm just so sorry. I-I-I…
- [grunts]
[sighs] I'm never gonna forgive myself
for this, you know?
- Your… Your…
- [sighs]
Your dad has never been anything other
than, you know, kind and welcoming to me.
- And I just…
- [sniffling]
I should've taken more golf lessons.
I thought I was getting better.
I really did, but I guess…
I guess I wasn't, you know?
No, it's… it's okay.
It wasn't anybody's fault.
I'm really, really happy
you see it that way.
Will you just hold me?
Yeah. Of course. Yeah.
That felt good. [sighs]
- Really?
- Mmm.
[chair whirring]
[receptionist] Colorectal team
to room 311 for a code blue.
Colorectal team to room 311
for a code blue.
[sighs]
[sighs]
- [line ringing]
- [sighs]
- [Charlie] Hey.
- Hi, babe.
How is Jenna's dad doing?
Well, we're just, uh,
waiting on the X-ray results,
so hopefully it'll be okay. Um…
Hey, listen, I was just thinking, um…
[clicks tongue]
…obviously I have an open slot now
that Will's wedding's off.
- Mmm.
- But he actually had
this kind of great idea
that hadn't occurred to me before,
but that maybe I could help out
with your firm's annual party.
- Help out?
- Yeah.
Yeah. I mean, I could throw the party.
- Hello?
- Yeah, uh… I'm still here.
So, you would throw
the firm's annual party?
Yeah, that's… that's what I said.
Or we could just forget it. [chuckles]
No. No, uh… No.
Um, I-I-I'm usually not involved
in that sort of thing,
but, uh, Stewart is the point person
for that kind of stuff, so yo…
you should talk to him.
Do you mind if I call him?
No. No.
- Just talk to him. Do that.
- Okay, great.
Uh. Well, I guess
I'll-I'll see you later tonight.
Great, love you.
Bye.
- Oh, my gosh.
- Hi.
Oh, God. Ho-How's your dad doing?
How is everything?
- [sighs] The X-rays are all good.
- Oh, great.
- Okay. Great. Great.
- Yeah.
Ah, that's awesome. Well, how can I help?
Can I get some food? What can I do?
- How can I help?
- Will had the best idea.
Oh, great! What is it?
You know, we were thinking what
could we do to cheer Hank up, you know?
Make the situation a little better?
And then we realized maybe we could…
Get married on Friday.
- Yeah.
- Friday?
- Yes.
- You mean this Friday?
- Uh-huh. Yep.
- Yeah.
Doctors think
that he'll be discharged by then,
and it will be the perfect
welcome-home surprise.
Yeah.
Do you think you could stay
here this week to plan it?
Uh… Well, um, Charlie is doing
Jeopardy! Friday afternoon, so…
We'll do the wedding in the morning.
You'll be back in time, no problem. Yeah.
[stammers] We know this is
no one's preferred way to work
and it is all sorts of crazy,
but it would really lift Dad's spirits.
Yeah.
Dad would love it.
[Jenna] Okay, sweetie. Um, I told
my mom I would pull the car around,
so I will text you when I'm downstairs.
- Okay.
- Okay.
[sighs]
- Good night, Sylvia. [chuckles]
- Good night. Good night.
See you soon. I love you, Penguin.
Love you too, Penguini.
[chuckles]
Uh, can you… can you please
explain to me what is happening right now?
I went in there and we started talking
about what happened,
and one thing led to another and we…
we had chemistry.
- For the first time in a long time.
- Ew.
- Explosive chemistry.
- Ew.
Crazy chemistry.
A few times actually.
- Lots of chemistry.
- What? In a hospital room?
- Oh, yeah. In the hospital room.
- What about sepsis?
Last thing on our minds,
let me tell you that.
We were just going at it.
It was animalistic, but honest.
It was incredible. I actually think
I kind of, like, unlocked her.
- Both figuratively and literally.
- Okay, just stop. Stop.
- Stop it.
- She's unlocked now.
- Let me get this straight.
- Yes.
Okay, so, uh, you had good sex
because you blinded her dad?
And that's an aphrodisiac?
Don't question it. I don't know,
it happened. The answer's yes.
Are you telling me from one sexual
encounter you're now changing your mind
- about getting married?
- One sexual encounter.
- Are you a virgin?
- No, it was a sign from the universe.
- I wanted a sign. That was the sign.
- Honestly, you do not have to get married
because you feel guilty
about some freak accident.
It wasn't your fault.
You came to me this morning
and you asked for my help
to get you out of this.
- Remember that? That was today.
- Yep.
Now I'm asking you
the exact opposite of that.
Will you please plan my wedding?
I need you to plan my wedding.
What about your parents? They can't get
here by Friday. They're in Florida.
I'll tell them I eloped.
They'll forgive me.
- Come on.
- It doesn't matter.
What's the big deal? They'll do it.
Did you ever even have a conversation
with Jenna about the sex stuff?
Oh, my God. Not everything has to be
a conversation. You know what I mean?
Look, I just need one thing
from you right now
and that is your complete
and total support.
- But I…
- Your complete and total support.
- But I… But…
- Complete. And total support.
- Okay.
- Great. Thank you so much.
I really appreciate it.
That's crazy. Didn't he go down there
to break up with her?
He did. But, you know,
who knows what the future will bring?
And… [sighs] …maybe they should
just go for it. [chuckles]
Why are you talking like that?
Did you join a cult?
No, I'm just being supportive.
Of a marriage that was doomed
24 hours ago?
What, did you know Andy and I were gonna
get divorced too
- and you didn't say anything?
- I hoped for the best.
Oh, my God. You knew.
There is no point in telling someone
that their marriage is doomed, okay?
I tried it once, it didn't work.
People just have to live their experience
and figure out their shit for themselves.
- Can you see into the eye socket?
- [groans]
- What's back there?
- Stop, stop, stop.
Oh, my God. I have so much to do.
Do you want me to come down there?
I could help you out.
Oh, my God.
I could really use an extra set of hands.
Do you think you could come
just for a day?
Dude, you should see this house.
This house is off the chain.
- It is sick. It is insane. Unbelievable.
- [panting]
So, I just got a very interesting call
from your lovely wife.
Ugh, no,
I was hoping that would just go away.
[Stewart] Why? She's an event planner.
She could really spice up
our dreary annual party.
Yeah, well, her event company
is not exactly profitable.
Doesn't she work a lot?
Yeah, working a lot and being profitable
are two very different things.
You know, she doesn't know this,
but on our taxes,
we file her business
as a charitable deduction.
- Oof.
- Mm-hmm.
So, you don't think she can pull it off?
I-It's not that, honestly. I'm just…
[sighs] You know what, I'm…
I'm wary of mixing our professional lives.
We've done that in the past.
It has not gone well.
[Stewart] So you want me to nix it?
I can just tell her that we're using
the same person from last year.
It's always bland, it's always fine.
No, I don't wanna stand in the way of her
getting a big gig. I am rooting for her.
You know, it's just that
it makes me very anxious.
She's never done a big kind
of corporate event before.
So you want me to say yes?
[sighs] Okay.
The truth is, you know, Sylvia,
she doesn't always see things through.
So you want me to say no?
You know what?
I'm overthinking it.
- You do whatever you think is best.
- No, Charlie.
You are not drawing me in
to your boring heterosexual drama.
You need to be a big boy
and tell me what I'm supposed to do.
Okay. Fine. Totally.
Let's be very thoughtful about this.
- Let's flip a coin.
- You have a coin?
What, is Clinton president?
Guess what. I got the job!
I did what you said!
Charlie and Stewart have, and I quote,
"the utmost confidence in me."
Ay, as they should!
Look at us,
we're both fucking crushing it right now.
You're going corporate,
I'm getting married tomorrow!
- Yeah! [chuckles]
- [cheers]
[Jenna] Hello.
How's the amazing
and heroic last-minute wedding planner?
Oh, everything is going great.
I just need you guys
to make a couple of decisions.
We already made the big decision.
We're getting married tomorrow!
- [chuckles]
- Fudge, yeah.
- Fudge, yeah!
- Whoo!
- Fudge, yeah! Let's sit down!
- [Will] Yes.
[Sylvia] This is the best I could do
with the time crunch…
- [Jenna] Okay.
- …but I think we've got
- some great options.
- Great.
So, in terms of music,
are we thinking live band or DJ?
- Live band.
- DJ.
- [stammers] DJ.
- Live band.
Um, why don't we get both?
They can kind of riff off each other.
- [chuckles] Yeah, just riff.
- Yeah. [chuckles]
I love that. Love that.
Okay. And what about food?
Are we thinking Wolfgang Puck Catering
or In-N-Out truck?
- Ooh, In-N-Out truck.
- Wolfgang Puck.
- In-N-Out truck.
- Wolfgang Puck.
[Jenna] We could do both.
- They can riff off each other.
- Yeah.
We're so in sync, Penguini.
Oh, you really are.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
Uh, for the ceremony, um,
for the officiant, what are we…
- Oh, Father Tom.
- Rabbi Joel.
We could get both
and they could riff off each other.
It has to be Father Tom.
I cannot get married by a priest.
[whispers]
I cannot get married by a rabbi.
I got it! We'll decide later.
- I love that!
- Yeah!
- Perfect.
- So we'll just decide tomorrow morning?
- Okay. Yeah. [chuckles]
- Have 'em both standing by.
- [laughs]
- Yeah.
Oh, this is awesome.
And we have to get you your dress.
- So let's go shopping.
- Yeah.
I might get something too. I didn't expect
to be here for so long, huh?
Oh, I've got something that's so Sylvia.
- Okay, great. [chuckles] Let's do it.
- [chuckling]
A priest and a rabbi walk into a wedding…
and they had a chat.
So, how are you feeling?
Are you thinking, like,
more of a modern silhouette
- or something more casual, or…
- [gasps]
I have always wanted to wear one of these.
Oh! A fascinator.
Very fun.
- Oh.
- [gasps]
What do you think?
- Too much?
- No, it's so… it's original.
I mean, I think we need to try it
with the dress you choose,
- but…
- Mmm. Yeah.
Do you think it's crazy that
we moved the wedding to this weekend?
It was Will's idea and so sweet for Dad.
But I don't know if I always want
these two memories linked together.
The worst thing in my life
and the best thing in my life.
You know, everything happens for a reason.
And you guys seem so happy together, so…
Will and I are just so different,
you know?
We come from such different worlds.
I mean, you saw,
we can barely agree on anything.
But on the other hand, it-it's…
it's still such a romantic idea and…
and the endgame would be the same.
We're… We're getting married.
And if my dad's eye exploding
has taught me anything,
it's that you have no idea
what the future will hold
and you should just go for it.
Yeah. I mean, every marriage
is a leap of faith and y-you got this.
Getting married on Friday
is the right thing to do, right?
- Yeah. Oh, yeah. Of course.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
- Mmm.
[chuckles, sniffles]
[phone buzzes]
- Oh, what's wrong?
- Oh, nothing. Just…
I'm just on a pretty heated text thread
with, uh, Rabbi Joel and Father Tom.
Is there any clarity
on that situation at all?
- Like, no biggie, but, uh…
- Oh, I gotta check out these veils.
- [sighs]
- [phone beeps]
Guys, I think it might be
more of a interfaith situation.
Um, can we prep for that, please?
And, um, no finger pointing. Thank you.
It's really a waste of time. Thanks, guys.
Oh, shit. Actually, should we not
be sleeping in the same room tonight?
Because, you know,
we're getting married tomorrow.
- [chuckles]
- No.
I want you here with me.
- Oh. Hello.
- Yes.
All righty.
[vocalizing]
- Ooh! [chuckles]
- [grunts, chuckles]
Well, good night.
I can't wait to get married
to you tomorrow.
[groans]
[Will] Um, can we…
can we talk about something real fast?
[Jenna] Yeah.
Is… Is this about the DJ?
No.
[chuckles] Not about the DJ. It's…
You know, we're getting married now
so we should be…
we should be honest
with each other, right?
- Of course.
- Tell each other everything.
- Always. Always, yeah. What's…
- Great. Um…
What's going on, Penguin?
I just…
I really love you.
And I'm really attracted to you
and I kind of just, um… [sighs]
I wish we could be physically intimate
with each other more regularly, you know?
[stammers] Which is a good thing, because…
because of how, you know,
sexy I think you are and how…
how… how attracted to you I am,
- you know?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Yeah. Yeah. I'm… I'm…
- I'm so glad you brought this up.
- Great.
Because I wanna connect with you more too.
Great.
I'm just not a very sexual person.
I never have been.
And I'm comfortable with that.
- Cool.
- [sighs]
I'm so relieved that you brought this up.
- Yeah.
- [chuckles] Whew.
I feel so much better, don't you?
- Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yay.
Yeah.
- [chattering]
- [slow music playing]
[DJ scratching]
- [horns sounding]
- Fuck you. Fuck you.
[Sylvia] Thank you.
Oh, wow. Smells so good in here.
- Look at you. So handsome.
- Yes, thank you. Appreciate that.
- Yeah.
- Just the man I was looking for.
So Father Tom and Rabbi Joel
are both here, yeah.
Cool, yeah.
Can we put a pin in that for a second?
- Well, they're getting really testy.
- Yeah.
- I think we need to…
- I… I just…
I need to talk to you for a minute. Okay?
- Uh, over here. Yeah.
- Okay.
Look… [sighs]
…I don't know what to do here.
About what?
I think I have to…
I think I have to cancel the wedding.
Will!
You're fucking all over the place!
- You told me to give you my complete…
- I know.
- …and total support…
- I know.
- …and now you're changing your mind.
- I know.
One hour before the ceremony.
You think I fucking like it?
Look, it's your fault in a way,
because I took your advice
and I talked to her about the sex stuff
and it-it went very badly.
- Oh, no.
- Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.
What happened in the hospital,
that was a one-off thing.
She is not a sexual person
and she never will be.
Oh.
Yeah, so, you know, I just…
[swallows] I can't give up sex
my entire life.
Just… That… That won't lead anywhere good.
[sighs] I'm sorry, buddy.
I'm really sorry, but if it…
if it makes you feel any better,
I-I really think you're right.
It does make me feel better,
but… [sighs] …the wedding's off.
I gotta tell Jenna.
You got this. It's okay. Ultimately,
it's-it's better for both of you.
Yeah, uh, thanks.
[sighs] Oh, God.
This is gonna fucking suck.
I know. I'm right here with you.
Thank you.
[chattering]
- [Andy] Yo! There's the groom.
- [Reggie] Oh! Yo, yo, yo.
- Hey. What's up?
- What up, groom? What up, baby?
- Good to see you guys.
- How you doing?
Hey, how's it going?
- Good to see you.
- Yo, this place fucking rules, dog.
- Yeah.
- I mean, I knew Jenna was rich.
I didn't realize
she was private militia rich.
- Yeah.
- Mmm, and you are set, bro.
I don't think you're gonna have
another problem for the rest of your life.
[breathing heavily]
Actually,
Will has something to tell you guys.
- I do?
- Yeah.
You do, right?
I do. [clicks tongue]
Is this not the coolest house
you've ever seen in your entire life?
- Fucking yes. You hit the jackpot, man.
- Really, really cool.
It's one of the nicest places
I've ever been in my entire life.
She just put in a sauna
and a golf simulator.
- Ooh.
- Oh, my God.
- It's like you're playing golf.
- Wow.
Will isn't gonna get married to Jenna
because they don't have sex.
- Oh, my G… Really?
- What? What the fuck?
I don't understand
what you guys do with each other.
Come outside. Just come… come outside.
They don't need to hear this!
[slow music playing]
Hey, so is this true?
Yeah, I don't understand
what you're talking about.
Okay, it's true.
We don't fuck each other ever.
- Man…
- Oh, God.
- But as you pointed out…
- [gasps]
Oh, my God. This view is incredible.
- Hey, Katie.
- Hey.
You can't be serious. You just told me
you wanted to call off the wedding.
Wait, what's going on?
Will, do you have cold feet?
Will and Jenna don't have sex.
- [squeals]
- Who cares, man?
You're set for life, brother.
Over time, financial security
will always trump intimacy.
- How could you give up this ocean view?
- You're right.
- Wedding's back on, okay?
- Yes. Thank you.
Will, you just told me that you don't
get enough intimacy in this relationship.
That's a problem.
- Very simple.
- You're right. Wedding's off.
No, within five years,
VR goggles will be able to create
a completely immersive sexual environment.
He's right, I could fuck a robot.
Wedding's back on.
Bro, you wouldn't date somebody
you don't bone.
How you gon' marry 'em?
You're right. Wedding's off.
Wait, Will.
Did you sign a prenup?
- No.
- [all gasp]
- [Reggie] What? No prenup?
- Oh!
What are we even talking about?
You're gonna get married right now!
- This is half yours already.
- True.
Even if I get married
and it doesn't work out,
I'll be a fucking multi-millionaire
for the rest of my life.
I could actually do good
things with that money.
I'll be like Jeff Bezos's wife, you know?
Speaking of which,
I also just started a nonprofit.
- I'll send you the prospectus.
- I'd love to read your prospectus.
[stammers] I'm sorry, are we literally
talking about divvying up Jenna's money?
That you'll get in alimony
from the divorce?
To fund Omar's nonexistent foundation?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, that's what we're doing.
- I can help a lot of people.
- Okay, copy that.
- Okay, okay.
- I have 45 minutes to figure this out.
- Okay, listen, Will.
I had this amazing life coach
on my podcast.
She said something incredible.
No decision is gonna feel 100% right,
it just has to feel 51% right.
If you feel 51% certain…
- Oh, yeah.
- …you're all good.
What are you talking about?
Fifty-one percent is okay if you're
deciding between a turkey club and a BLT.
Not if you're about to get married.
Sylvia, those are very similar sandwiches.
I think we can all agree.
You gotta be all in if you're gonna
get married, there's no point otherwise.
[Hank] Sylvia, ah.
The, uh… The bride is looking for you.
Oh. You… You heard the man,
go help the bride…
to be.
- [chuckles]
- [Sylvia] Be right there.
Okay, I guess I'll be the bad guy and ask.
What happened to that man's eye?
I exploded it with a golf ball.
- [both groan]
- Ow.
Oh, my God.
[sighs]
You look so beautiful. [chuckles]
You really think so?
Think has nothing to do with it.
[chuckles]
Can we talk about something?
Yeah, we-we can talk about anything.
[Jenna] It's just, uh…
Um, I just…
I think I'm…
s-starting to have second thoughts.
And I just need somebody
who I know will be honest with me.
Don't do it. Don't do it.
Will is a mess right now.
You deserve someone who is absolutely
certain that they wanna be with you.
You… You're too amazing
to settle for anything less.
I was talking about the fascinator.
It looks great.
I wouldn't change anything.
[breathes shakily]
Thank you guys for talking sense into me.
- Yeah, man.
- I feel good about this.
- You got this, man. I'm happy for you.
- Great, yeah.
- Thank you, guys. Thanks.
- No problem.
Oh. Gentlemen. I'm Will.
Rabbi, good to see you.
- [sighs]
- ["Wedding March" recessional plays]
[sighs]
[mouthing] Oh, fuck.
[muttering]
Did you really come down here
to break up with me?
- I'm so sorry.
- Don't look at your little buddy.
Eyes right here. Tell me the truth.
Yes or no.
I wanted this to work.
I really… I really wanted this to work.
And I… And I was gonna try but I just…
You are the most pathetic person
I have ever met.
Okay, you're right. I'm sorry.
So go back to your shitty little life,
and your shitty little bar,
and you stay as far away from me
as possible.
- Okay. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.
- And one more thing.
- [grunts]
- [groans, screams]
- [gasping, groaning]
- [Will] Fuck.
[groans] Oh, God. Move.
- Move. Hurry!
- [pants] I am.
- Go faster.
- I am.
- Goddamn it, she nailed me. Fuck!
- I'm sorry.
- Aw.
- [pants]
- Hurry! [grunts]
- Yeah… [gasps]
- [Hank grunts, laughs]
- [both exclaim]
Still got it! You better run!
Even with one eye, that was a good shot.
- Take this.
- [Will] Go! Get in! Drive!
- [panting] Fuck.
- I am so sorry, it was a total mistake.
I really… I didn't mean to say anything.
I know that you're not gonna believe me
and I know that this is probably
the last time we'll ever see each other,
but honestly, I didn't know
she was talking about the fascinator.
I had no clue.
- I-I-I-I'm so sorry. I…
- Oh, shit. Oh, shit.
- What-What is it?
- My parents. They're always late.
- Do you want me to stop?
- No! No, I can't deal.
Just keep going, please.
- I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, Will.
- Don't be sorry, just…
just please stop talking.