Smiling Friends (2020) s02e04 Episode Script

1
Wow, I can't believe
our old horn-
dog of a Boss is
finally getting married.
Have you guys met
the bride to be yet?
-No. -Nuh.
Charlie, I haven't seen
you for like an hour,
where have you been?
Guys, guys, you gotta
meet this guy Jombo,
I just met, he's so awesome.
Tell 'em that story you
were just telling me Jombo!
Fuck! That's funny! Guy--
Pim, I'm tellin' you,
man, I think
he can be the 5th
Smiling Friend. Jombo,
Pim, Charlie, I'd love--
Pim, Charlie, I'd love Jombo--
Uh can we talk about
this later, Charlie?
Wait, wait, wait! Check out
this cool knife Jombo sold me.
You see that?
You see that?
You're not lookin'.
C'mere, Pim!
Gonna do the trick
that Jombo taught me.
Charlie, you're scaring me!
Come here Pim, come here!
Since the bride's father
couldn't be here today,
everyone please welcome
the Boss's soon-to-be-wife,
Brittney.
Oh my GOD.
Pim,
that genuinely got you,
I've never seen you
jump like that before.
Hiii, it's soo wonderful
to meet you all!
I can't wait to get
to know everybody
and help the Boss get
a little more organized
with his business ventures,
since we know his mind can be
a little preoccupied sometimes!
Ha-ha-ha alright, how fun.
Now let's get this
show on the road.
Do you, Mr. Boss,
take Brittney to be your
lawfully wedded wife?
Uh, no dip!
And do you Brittney,
take Mr. Boss to be your
lawfully wedded husband?
I do.
Well, that's all
I needed to hear.
That settles it,
I now pronounce you
husband and demon!
Nooo, later,
But I want it
stop, stoppp.
Stop it.
Nooooo.
Pim, w-what's going on,
what is all this crap?
I think the Boss made Glep
put all this stuff up.
Charlie, are you okay?
No, I feel like
I'm gonna puke, dude
I-I can't keep doing
this to myself
I can't.
Something's gotta
change, brother.
Is that for us?
I-I don't know.
Hello boys.
What happened to your office?
I've got some great news.
We're no longer the
Smiling Friends.
We're now Brittney's
Beautiful Demonic Flowers.
Isn't that wonderful?
-What?! -Huh?
Wait, then what are the
Smiling Friends gonna do?
Y'all will have plenty to do!
In fact, Glep is already
hard at work back at my house
on Brittney's black rose garden.
But everyone knows that
Glep hates gardening.
Don't worry
I have a final Smiling
Friends job for you boys:
It's to make Brittney smile.
Go on boys,
tell her how smart she is
for coming up with all this.
Oh no, stop!
You're embarrassing me!
Oh, stop!
Uh, I hate it.
-Uh, you're very nice.
-Yeah, you're very red.
OHHH, THANK YOUUU!
YOU'RE SO SWEET!
Alright, we're gonna go home
and celebrate our honeymoon.
See you later.
AGHHH!!!
There's a giant
hole in the roof.
We s--we s--we saw it happen.
-Devil ran through it.
-Yeah, the d--yeah.
Ugh, I'm sick of running errands
for this happily
married coup-ele.
I waited two full hours in
line to get them these coffees.
You know, if you're
not gonna use those,
if you're gonna throw them
away, I'll just take one.
Yeah, I could really
use one. Okay, man.
Yeah, I kinda want
one too, actually.
-Alright, yeah, thank you.
-Okay, then.
First the Boss
and now Glep.
I'm scared, Charlie.
Guys, I'm s--And honestly,
I don't want to jump
to conclusions here
but I'm starting to think,
I'm starting to wonder
if the Boss's red devil,
scaring-looking wife
might be up to no good.
Agreed.
I think we should do some
research on her first
before we do anything.
Okay. But let's
go somewhere else,
I don't think
it's safe to talk here.
Why?
Cause of the eyeball.
Cause of the eyeball,
I see, I-I, yeah.
How'd I miss that?
I didn't see that eyeball.
-I don't know. -Wow.
It's been there the whole time.
Oh, my gosh.
Man, I've looked
through every single one of her
social media posts
that she's ever made
and all it is, is just like
wholesome, positive stuff
like cool videos and,
and awesome hashtags.
I--Maybe we're wrong
about her, you guys.
Look, nobody evil would do that.
What is this thing?
Throw this away.
I can't man it's not mine,
I'm just holding
onto it for my uncle
until he gets out
of the hospital.
Hellooo handsome.
Wait! I think I found something!
It's the Boss's wife!
According to this
her real name is Filia Diabolus,
which means daughter of Satan.
It says she emerges
once every 100 years
and seeks men of great
power and influence
and sucks their life away,
eventually killing them
and giving all their
belongings to Satan
Gasp.
That means the Smiling Friends
will be owned by Say-tan.
Guys, I know this might be
a little fucked up to say,
but I'm starting to think
for the good of humanity,
we might need to
kill the Boss's wife.
Well, that's great
and all, but how?
Hmm It seems like
someone ripped out the page
that explains that part.
Now, we'll NEVER find out how
to vanquish the evil demon!
I just found out how to vanquish
the evil demon on YouTube.
Hellooo I'm Daniel
the demon slayer.
I slay demons so
you don't have to!
So you've encountered
a Filia Diabulus demon
and you've decided to slay it,
before we get into that though,
this video is brought
to you by Dollar Shave Club!
Whenever I--
Sorry, let me just skip
ahead of that--
Thank you.
So, the only way
to slay this demon is
You must drain it's
blood on a full moon!
Oooooo!
Now, don't forget to like,
subscribe, hit that--
It's a full moon tonight-uh.
Well, that seems easy enough.
She's probably
sleeping right now,
but what weapon do we use?
I've got a replica
of Aragon's sword
from Lord of the Rings
but I don't,
I don't want to scratch it
Wait! What about that knife
you bought at the wedding?
Jombo's knife!
- Jombo's knife!
Dude, what did I say!
What did I say!
I-I TOLD you that Jombo was 5th
Smiling Friend material.
Yep, you're right, Charlie.
Jombo really came through.
Fucking hell!
Allan!
Allan! It's fine, it's fine.
I KNEW it was going to do that!
Y-you're fine. Let's just
go kill the Boss's wife.
Jesus Christ!
Allan, you coming?
No, I've gotta go to my
Dr. Monsters appointment
with Dr. Monster.
-Who is Dr. Monster?
-What is that?
I've gotta go. Bye.
Er-I--I don't know
what that is, still.
Pim, I-I-I can't do it.
What? Why? What are
you talking about?
Dude, I was so ready to, like,
run in there, frickin' run
in there and like, and like,
kill her and stuff but I-I just,
I'm hungover from the wedding
so I--yeah, you, yeah,
you gonna have to do it.
-I can't do it, I can't do it.
-Wha--huh?
Okay, fine.
Pass me Jombo's knife.
Charlie, this is a fake knife.
What?
Yeah. It's one of those
plastic knives that retract
see.
Oh, my god.
It's a gag knife.
Oh, my god. I paid $600
dollars for that, dude.
Oh! You should probably
try to get that back.
He deleted everything
and moved to New Jersey.
-I can't g-- -Oh, my gosh.
Wha--Uh. That's bad.
Oh my God, what are you doing?
Uhhh, I-I guess we were trying
to stab you in the heart.
What?! WHY?
Do you not like me?!
No, no we don't.
No. You're evil.
-Absolutely not. -Yeah.
You're the daughter of Satan.
You think I'm EVIL?
You've misunderstood me!
Wait, wait, wait, are you saying
you DIDN'T suck the
Boss's life out of him
and put him into a scary coma so
you could take over the business
and give it all to Satan?
No,
I DID DO all of that
but you didn't have to
be so nasty about it!
Wait, what about the Boss?
I-I don't get it.
Shouldn't the curse
be broken by now?
Wait, Charlie.
I remember reading in that book
that the only way to wake
someone from the demon's curse
is a kiss of true love
Alright
I'll do it for the Boss.
Nah, nah I'm just
fucking with you,
I'm good, I'm good.
Don't do that shit, man.
I got a heart condition, dude.
Aw c--Oh, come on Charlie.
Don't be like that!
No, dude, seriously!
I have a pacemaker.
I-I-I, I don't mind the joke,
I, but just like not,
with the heart stuff.
Don't mess with the heart stuff.
No, but all jokes aside,
thanks for breaking
me out of that curse.
Last thing I remember,
she was suckin' the soul
right out of my asshole.
Out--out of your asshole?
Oh and by the way,
according to the
marriage contract,
since my wife is dead,
I now own one fourth of Hell!
Cool.
You know, I've realized
through all this that
I'm just too old to be
chasing young hot tail,
my true love is my work,
and more importantly my boys.
I know four employees
that I just adore,
I'm so happy
I can see them more,
'cause we make people
smile all dayyy,
we get to play,
we get to playyyy.
This was a very
strange Halloween.
I'd rather be back
with Doctor Monster.
Allan, I still don't know
what that means, dude.
-I don't know what that means.
-Well, I'm never telling you.
I guess not.
-Mmm. -Yep.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN, EVERYBODY!!!
Do you see this line right here?
Yeah, yeah
That means that my property
starts right here--
-That is not what that means!
-It goes allll the way.
That's my fourth of Hell!
Your property starts at the
post, dude, at the post!
You're fucking stupid!
-Go get a surveyor-
-Oh, shut up, dude.
-to tell you the same thing-
-Why don't you get a, you get a-
-I'm telling you!
-surveyor Whatever, man.