FUBAR (2023) s02e05 Episode Script

1
[ominous music playing]
- [guns firing]
- [engines whirring]
Cease fire!
Cease fire, you goddamn morons!
You're shooting at $3 billion!
Somebody's piloting that thing
from mission control.
Well, move your asses, take 'em down!
Shit. Hey, Luke, Emma, there's a squad
of space mates headed our way.
Very armed and very angry.
On it.
[engine revving]
- [engine whirring]
- [screaming]
Hang on, Barry.
Your ride is about to get a lot smoother.
Leaving the atmosphere
in a matter of seconds.
I don't wanna leave the atmosphere!
I like the atmosphere!
I've spent my whole life
in the atmosphere!
Oh sweet. Here comes the big guy.
[dramatic music playing]
[engine revving]
[gears clinking]
[tense music playing]
[Barry] Uh, guys?
Everything cool-day-la, buddy?
[magical music playing]
I think I'm out of the atmosphere.
So you're all right?
[laughing]
[light rock music playing]
[Barry] I'm better than all right.
I'm Han motherfluffin' Solo!
[music ends]
[megaphone feedback]
[Olmstead] I got off the horn
with one Franklin Reed
about some AWOL officers under his charge.
He is 12 shades of pissed,
and he is, through me,
giving you an order.
Unless you all want new careers
making license plates,
you will stand down now!
[megaphone feedback]
[Luke] No.
Dad, we're going to prison.
Look, once we stop Greta, there's no one
that's gonna file charges against us.
What if this goes sideways,
and they think we sent a satellite
into the power plant?
Well, maybe it was a bad idea.
I can't believe that Greta
might outsmart us again.
Okay, mute your comms.
[comms rattle]
What's the privacy all about?
- You do wanna stop Greta, right?
- That's a ridiculous question.
What's ridiculous is breaking up with Mom
at the same time
that you're trying to assure me
that Greta is good at heart,
and you keep talking about
how brilliant she is.
Someone that brilliant could be
manipulating you without you knowing it.
The only one that I think
is getting manipulated here is you
because I am not dating Greta.
Okay, I went on a date with Chips
to find you.
Didn't mean anything.
Does Chips know that?
I mean,
I've listened to the lie detector test,
and I saw you blush.
- You're insane.
- Look, I know that Chips is handsome.
And he has this accent,
and that's a very, very good
combination to have.
Believe me, I know it firsthand.
Greta has an accent.
Is that enough to do it for you?
Let me guess.
Did Chips open up on your date,
so there's a better understanding,
because both of you kind of grew up
with a very famous spy father?
Because that's what I would have done.
Look, sweetheart,
all I'm trying to do is just be helpful.
No, sweetheart, I'm trying to help you.
- [feedback]
- [Olmstead] Surrender,
or we will not hesitate
to use deadly force.
Barry, G.I. Joe is getting pissed.
Where are we with the satellite?
I'm within Bluetooth distance,
but the satellite isn't linking.
- [beeps]
- [exhales]
Oh man.
Looks like a bullet penetrated
the external hardware on takeoff.
- What do we do now?
- We need to pivot to plan B.
If you can't connect
with the satellite digitally,
you'll have to connect with it physically.
What? No way you'll bump me
into the satellite
like I'm some kinda
spaceship shuffleboard!
- It'll be more like bumper cars.
- Not better!
Strap in, dude.
I need to do some recalculations. Here.
Mr. Sulu, you have the conn.
Oh my.
I don't like plan B. What is plan C?
[Aldon] Barry, you have nothing
to worry about, my friend.
You're in the hands
of the king of Rudy's Pizza.
Brace yourself. [exhales]
[breathing heavily]
[suspenseful music playing]
[groans]
[music ends]
Nothing happened.
- Well, this is broken.
- I thought you had this, Pizza King.
No, the drone won't respond.
It must have anti-collision software
to stop it from smashing into space junk.
We need a manual override.
Barry's gonna have to pilot that thing.
Okay, Bar, I got good news for you, pal.
You are about to live your wettest
of dreams and fly a spaceship.
[sighs] What's the bad news?
There is no bad news.
Can you just hang on
while we, uh, pull up the schematics?
[ominous music playing]
There is an assload of bad news.
First of all, that drone wasn't supposed
to go anywhere today.
We sent him up there
with barely enough fuel to get back home.
If he misses the satellite,
not only will it level the power plant
in a fiery nuclear crap-gasm,
Barry will shoot past it out into space.
By the time he tries to pull a U-turn,
his gas tank will be on E.
He'll drift off into the galaxy
until he's frozen and useless forever,
just like my Aunt Karyn's eggs.
[Barry] I can hear you!
I always forget to hit mute.
Uncle Barry, your heart.
You have to stay calm, please.
I'm gonna call Dr. Pfeffer.
[phone ringing]
Oh, seventh floor.
Someone get in touch with Dr. P for Barry.
I got to take this.
- Yeah, what's going on?
- Luke, it's Farkas.
Farkas, you son of a bitch.
Hiding out on the seventh floor
so I take your phone call?
I wouldn't have to do this
if you didn't block me.
I just finished the asset eval of Tina.
There are numerous transfers
going into her account
that may have originated in Moscow.
Look, I don't have time
for your paranoia right now.
I'm in a goddamn tank!
- [line disconnects]
- Uh
Oh come on.
[dramatic music playing]
Okay, Barry, are your eyes closed?
Eyes are closed.
Breathing in.
[Barry inhales]
[exhaling] Breathing out.
For the last time,
because I don't know if you heard, doc,
but I'm gonna die in space!
No, Barry. Stay with me.
Stay positive.
I really don't think
that these breathing exercises
are cutting it for our patient, doc.
Thank you for your insight.
And it's not "our" patient.
Get your shit together, mate.
For the last time, the mic is not on.
Let me do my work.
Barry, we're going to do
a simple distraction technique.
Can you recite the alphabet backwards?
Barry?
Barry?
Talk to me, Barry.
I'm so tired.
What the hell is going on with Barry?
You know how in life or death situations
there's flight or fight?
- Well, there's actually a third F.
- Fucked.
No, freeze!
- [tense music playing]
- Rocket launcher's almost assembled. Dad?
Luke, Barry looks up to you.
- Perhaps you can talk to him.
- [Luke] I'd love to.
But right now,
I have an anti-tank rocket aimed at us.
Please tell me
this tank has a missile jammer.
Look, this tank is 40 years old.
Probably just gets used for parades.
Did he just say "anti-tank rocket"?
Is that what he just--
'Cause I have experience with that.
Come on. I can't just sit here and allow
the love of my life to just blow up.
Luke, Emma, you're on open mic with Chips.
He claims he can help.
And while he's doing that,
I will get somebody that can help Barry.
Emma, darling, can you hear me?
Uh, yes.
I need for you to find
the tank's shortwave radio.
You wanna stop a rocket with a radio?
I may have dabbled in the theft
and the black-market resale
of a few anti-tank missiles in my time.
You see, they share a common flaw
in their radio guidance systems,
and if you disrupt the signal,
you will divert the missile.
If you die, then I die as well, my love.
Oh for fuck's sake.
- Okay.
- No, no, no. Wait a minute.
How do we know he doesn't want
to get us killed and eat that rocket?
You heard the guy. He's in love with me.
[Barry] Twinkle, twinkle ♪
Little star ♪
How'd I wander out so far ♪
[breath trembling]
[Tina] Barry?
[gentle music playing]
- Tina?
- Yeah.
Just the woman who loves you saying hello.
Dr. Pfeffer told me
you could use a pick-me-up.
No, I could use a put-me-down,
like put me back down on Earth!
[Barry inhales sharply]
I wish I could've seen you
just one last time.
We're going to see each other again
because you can do this.
We can do this together.
Okay, co-pilot,
then you better get his head in the game
'cause I just shut down
the anti-collision protection,
and I'm sending the coordinates
to the drone now.
If Barry can keep that ship
on the flight path,
he'll knock that satellite
right off course.
Hear that, Barry? I need you to be
the hero that I know you are.
I'm with you.
I'm right in there with you.
[inspirational music playing]
I got this.
[Emma] Found it! [exhales]
[Chips] Dial all the way down to zero
and bottom out.
Then go anti-clockwise, but slowly.
Between 13.21 and 13.22 kHz.
- On it.
- Good. Now talk me through it.
[Emma] We're at a thousand,
1,200, 1,300.
Just a little more, but careful.
[Emma] I got it.
Plug it into the PA system. Do it fast.
PA's a go.
Turn it up, full blast.
This is for my car, you son of a bitch.
- Fire!
- [radio whirring]
- [Emma gasps]
- [missile explodes]
Goddamn! That's my office!
- Reload!
- [dramatic music playing]
They're reloading.
Okay, do everything exactly the same.
Wait. I can't.
Oh God, the radio's too old.
It fried.
We're sitting ducks.
They're lining up their shot.
Ready!
No, no, no, don't fire!
Now the PA system is fried too.
Aim!
- I love you, Dad.
- I love you, Schatzel.
[music builds, ends]
[rock music playing]
- [music ends]
- Oh.
[megaphone feedback]
[Olmstead] Oh,
this is your goddamn lucky day.
We just got word that a moving satellite
pinged our monitor.
Collision projections show it hitting
the Litchfield Energy Center
in Massachusetts.
I told you.
According to Roo's math,
you should be really close.
We're T-minus two minutes
to engaging thrusters.
You can do this, Uncle B.
Evacuation of the power plant
is in progress.
[computers beeping]
What? In case he shits the bed.
- You suck.
- You really do suck.
[alarm blaring]
Let's go! Keep moving out!
Get away from the building! Let's go!
Oh boy. I got eyes on the satellite.
Great. Remember, you just wanna tap it
and send it off course.
[Luke] You got this, Barry.
Plum is in the pudding.
Barry's on the blitz.
[Roo] Okay, satellite's
about to enter the atmosphere.
You want an approach angle
of 37 degrees at two meters per second.
No, Barry, you need to make contact
at 2.2 meters per second.
[Roo] Are you shitting me, Tina?
Barry, I have done the calculations.
It's simple Newtonian physics.
If you hit this thing too hard,
it doesn't just get nudged off course,
it breaks up into a million pieces
and nuclear fallout
rains all over the Midwest.
And some of the pieces
stay on their current trajectory
and still hit the power plant.
But if you hit it
at exactly 2.2 meters per second,
everything will be fine.
You've gotta trust me, Barry.
If you don't hit it hard enough,
the satellite won't be knocked off course.
If he hits it too hard, he'll die.
I wouldn't let that happen, Barry.
I'm going with Tina.
I'm turning off my targeting computer
and using the force.
Barry, I am gonna force my foot
up your ass.
[drone whirring]
[beeping]
Barry, no!
Impact in three
two
- One.
- [Barry screaming]
[Emma] He pushed the satellite off course.
- What about Barry? What about his plane?
- Barry?
Are you there, buddy?
Barry, please answer me.
[dramatic music playing]
[Barry] Major Putt to ground control,
I'm alive!
- [Emma] Oh my God!
- [Roo] Oh my God!
- [Aldon] Yes! [cheers]
- [triumphant music playing]
- All right!
- [Roo] Man.
Give me some, right here.
You're a bummer.
[Roo] Engaging autopilot now.
Okay. We gonna bring you home, buddy.
[Emma] How's it feel
to be a hero, Uncle B?
It just feels good to be in one piece.
[exhales sharply]
[exhales]
You okay, Roo-boo?
I just can't shake that my math was wrong.
It's never wrong.
And how did Tina know it was off?
[ominous music playing]
[computer beeps, chimes]
[music fades]
[helicopter blades whirring]
That was really good work today.
You too.
Now you don't have to smoke this
just to impress me.
You can toss it if you want.
Thank you.
I mean, it's like Frenching an ashtray.
[Luke laughs]
And sorry about our argument.
I think it's good that you challenge me
whenever you think it's necessary.
I mean, I don't have to agree, right?
[both laugh]
Today's mission in your file?
That's good Unit 9 stuff.
Thank you.
You really want that, huh?
Yeah. Yeah, I do.
- [phone ringing, vibrating]
- [Luke] Oh.
[ringing continues]
Farkas again.
Now what do you want, Farkas,
you pain in the ass?
[dramatic music playing]
Sir.
[music ends]
- Whoo!
- [upbeat music playing]
Go Barry! You saved the day!
Gonna get a high school named after you!
Go Barry! You saved the day! Gonna
- Uh-oh.
- We just lost the power plant.
That's impossible.
I knocked that satellite to Neptune.
Southern Massachusetts, as well as parts
of Connecticut and New Hampshire
are experiencing
widespread blackouts today.
State officials have assured residents
that power will be restored shortly,
as nearby plants are in the process
of picking up the load.
How?
[Emma] Word leaked
when we borrowed the drone.
Greta knew we'd do everything
in our power to stop the satellite.
And that the power plant would be
evacuated out of an abundance of caution,
so she took advantage, got inside,
and planted explosives.
But she only got one point
of vulnerability.
She still needs three to overload
the power and to wipe out the grid.
When she makes her move, we will be ready.
[insects chirping]
[door creaking]
Ah.
Perfect timing.
It's taken me ages,
but I have just built an exact replica
of Buckingham Palace.
- It's perfect.
- Okay. I really just came by to--
Warn me not to escape?
No need. Deadly thigh cuff is here
and has delivered the message
loud and clear.
Well, at least you're not handcuffed
with a gun pointed at your face.
Consider that a thank you
for saving my life.
Mm-hmm. And?
- And my dad's.
- It wouldn't be the first time, would it?
If you're keeping track, which I am.
I'm keeping track. Let's see.
[inhales sharply]
I saved your dear old dad from Greta,
and I kept both of you
from blowing to bits in that tank,
didn't I?
You've been helpful at times.
I'll give you that.
What choice do I have?
It wouldn't be a very romantic date
if you're a mist
of blood and brain matter.
It might be an improvement.
You know, you may not
currently have feelings for me,
but I will prove to you, Emma Brunner,
that I am a decent man.
Yes, I've been confused for a while now,
angry over my father's death,
and maybe I have some issues.
But come on, who doesn't?
But I'd never let you get hurt though,
not as long as I can help it.
You realize most of today
was caused by things you set in motion?
You didn't let me finish. Starting now,
I'd never let you get hurt.
- Okay.
- No!
- [liquid splashing]
- [can rattling]
[Chips sighs]
It's full of preservatives.
See, I'm saving your life already.
- [chuckles]
- You know what? Let Greta do her worst.
Truly, America can never have a blackout
when there's a smile as bright as this
within its borders.
My God, you're cheesy.
After all this do-gooding and life-saving,
I think I've earned a nice drink
with a beautiful woman.
[chuckles]
- I don't know.
- Come on.
The longer we stall, the more likely it is
that Donnie's gonna finish all the liquor.
- Okay, I'll grab a couple of whiskeys.
- Yes.
For myself.
I'll just be here
getting drunk off your beauty.
Oh, be careful at the back wall.
You're out of range of the remote.
I wouldn't want you to explode.
- You're having a laugh.
- Am I?
- Like a joke? You're
- Hmm
[radio static]
[Greta over transmitter] Hello, hübscher.
You there?
Are you calling to gloat?
Because it's been a long day, Greta.
Yes, we do have a habit
of tiring each other out.
Remember Vienna?
Yeah, of course. How can I forget?
- That's where you stole my blueprints.
- [floor creaking]
And I spent all night
making it up to you.
You admitted it in Estonia.
We were in love.
I said that because I was under
the influence of a truth serum.
Emphasis on the word "truth."
Let's not lose more decades
as you lie to yourself.
If you still have feelings for me,
just say so.
I don't hear a denial.
We're a perfect match, Luke.
Equals in every way.
Our wits, our skills,
our stamina.
I love how we're always
out-thinking each other.
When I heard
that you were going to upend
my satellite with that drone,
I was I just was so impressed.
How did you know
about the satellite's increased mass?
Do the Russians know you're onto them?
I don't know what you're talking about.
Mmm. Don't be coy.
The spy equipment
that the Russians put on the satellite
added a little bit more weight to it.
You had to factor that in to calculate
how to knock it off course.
I love how you pulled that off.
It just got my heart pounding.
I had one of my team members do the math.
Well, they must be well-connected.
But I'm not surprised that
a Luke Brunner team would perform so well.
But now I'm tired,
and I'm going to go to bed.
Alone.
Sadly.
Another night, my love.
[tense music playing]
[transmitter clicks]
[keypad clicking]
Farkas, I owe you an apology.
Try to get me
all the information that you can
on Tina Mukerji and Moscow.
[music fades]
So Tina knew about
the Russian spyware on the satellite
'cause she's a double agent?
Apparently so.
But she's such a magoo.
We're running checks
on our other seven DSCS satellites
to see if they've been tampered with,
but it'll take a while,
since our best drone
was just recently damaged.
Okay, so Tina, what do we know?
Well, we assume she was brought to the NSA
probably to monitor how we gather intel,
but her transfer to the CIA
for the Boro matter
was a huge gift for the SVR.
Thankfully, you found her now
and not in five years.
I agree with you.
But it was actually Farkas
that brought it to my attention.
[inhales sharply]
I need to get back to HQ.
We're putting together the warrant.
Have to coordinate with the FBI.
They're heading to her residence shortly.
[Hamsteak snorting]
So which one is Franklin
and which one is Bash?
Um.
- You smell like pot.
- [laughs]
No one knows.
[Hamsteak snorts]
We have to tell your uncle.
[footsteps approaching]
[sighs]
This is gonna kill Barry.
Oh, now you're worried about
how someone takes a relationship ending?
What are you implying?
You chased your ex-wife around
for 15 years,
and now some fling from the '80s is back,
and, what,
Mom's on the "pay no mind" list?
You know,
Barry might be tried for treason,
and we have to stop the power grid
from being destroyed,
and I gained eight pounds
because of Roo's boobie cookies,
so I can't worry about your mother
being upset about nonsense.
Nonsense?
Is it?
Mom's not the only one who's noticed
you've changed since Greta came along.
- [scoffs]
- In a concerning way.
You think I'm compromised?
Compromised? No.
Judgment impaired? Maybe.
As evidenced by the fact that
you're blowing it with Mom all over again.
The only variable
I can think of that's changed is Greta.
I say this once and never again.
My judgment as a senior officer of the CIA
is not now, or ever has been, impaired
because of Greta or anyone else.
- That's it and that's all.
- Sure, Dad.
[Luke sighs]
Barry we need to talk.
Uncle Barry.
You in there?
[intriguing music playing]
This is bad.
["Baby" by Genevieve playing]
[chuckling]
This was so worth the risk.
When I was in space, all I could do
was think about seeing you and
[door opens]
I'll be yours, you'll be mine ♪
- You could be my ♪
- Baby ♪
I'll be yours, you'll be mine ♪
- You could be my ♪
- Baby ♪
Wonder Woman and Thor?
- Mm-hmm.
- Are we really about to mix universes?
Oh, we're about to mix everything.
Get ready to wield that mighty hammer.
- [Barry screams]
- FBI, hands up.
Tina Mukerji, you're under arrest.
What the hell is going on?
[agents groaning]
[dramatic music playing]
- [music ends]
- Tina?
[tense music playing]
[both grunting]
You broke my uncle's heart!
- [Tina grunts]
- [Emma groans]
[both grunting]
[Tina groans]
[Tina grunts]
[Tina groans]
[Tina whimpers]
[Tina choking]
[Emma exhales]
- You hurt Wonder Woman!
- [gasps]
- She fluffin' deserved it.
- [door opens]
[chain rattling]
[distant phone ringing]
[door closes]
You're looking at 60 years
minimum.
Now, if you cooperate,
the government could reduce the time.
Or I can reduce
the number of teeth in your mouth.
Look, the CIA
is combing through your office
and through your apartment right now
as we speak.
So the question is, what will we find?
What have you sent to the Russians?
You better answer me
because very soon you're gonna get
a lawyer that will tell you to stay quiet.
And trust me,
that is the worst thing you can do
because then it becomes adversarial
instead of cooperative.
So understand
that this might be the last time
that you will be able to speak to us.
Oh, I can make sure of that.
She's not worth you bruising your hand.
[dramatic music playing]
You should be ashamed of yourself,
of what you did to Barry.
You messed with my uncle.
I'm gonna fuck you up.
[door closes]
Hey, man, I'm the one that
helped you land that traitorous skank,
so this is on me.
[Roo exhales]
Once she's locked up,
you want me to pull some strings
and get her shanked?
Soap in the pillowcase?
[imitates whip]
I can have them
go full metal jacket on her ass.
I'd do that for you.
God, come on.
Listen, I knew you'd be a real bummer,
so I decided to get you a comic,
'cause you're nerdy.
Yeah, that looks pretty fun.
I got a Playboy for ya
'cause you're horny.
If you're looking to scratch
both of those itches,
I found some adult comics.
These are pretty good.
We got, uh, Penthouse Mouse, huh?
Some good reading right there.
Space Jugs.
That's titties in space. They float.
We've got, uh, what else we got in here?
Dr. Cocktopus.
- That's a wiener with a lot going on.
- [door opens]
[sighs]
How you doing, Uncle Barry?
Junior officers and I
turned Tina's office upside down,
and guess what we found?
The BlackBerry we picked up in Kolkata.
She had it in some stash space,
but she never gave it to OTS.
What a piece of shit, right? Sorry, Barry.
She obviously wanted to hold onto it,
use it as a bargaining chip
in case she gets caught,
charges are filed against her.
Too bad for that shitbag,
we got to it first. Sorry, Barry.
Anyone planning on telling me
this guy was playing Russian nesting dolls
with a Moscow mole?
He was in the dark about Tina
just like the rest of us.
I don't wanna hear it.
This kind of crap is why HQ is asking me
to take the "interim" off my title.
- What?
- I put Roo up for regional director.
I'm fully aware, but this Tina thing
makes you all look very bad.
And our bosses have had it up to here
with your team's bullshit.
They don't want a monkey running the zoo,
and I don't blame them.
- That's not fair. I can do this job.
- The seventh floor isn't so sure.
Speaking of jobs,
as of now, Officer Putt, you're suspended.
- That's horse shit.
- This is not Barry's fault.
He was tricked
by a shitty temptress. Sorry, Barry.
The CIA has questions for you
about your relationship with Tina Mukerji.
Legally, you're allowed a lawyer
during questioning.
- Questioning?
- But he did nothing wrong.
- Remains to be seen.
- I waive my right to an attorney.
- Uncle Barry.
- I have nothing to hide.
- I'm going in with him.
- You a lawyer?
I have a paralegal degree
from Gaston Community College.
Jealous?
Fine.
We start in 20.
Oh, before I forget.
A cleared video message
from your granddaughter.
I expect protocol to be followed.
- Thanks.
- I'm not a total asshole.
[door creaking]
Hi, May-me, PeePaw,
Aunt Em, and Uncle Barry. It's me.
Dad said I could show you
my birthday dress.
See? Flowers.
I really wish you could come
to my birthday party.
I'm going to get pizza shoved in my face.
I love you. I miss you.
I miss you too, baby. [sniffles]
It's okay.
You're gonna see her again very soon.
[softly] Yeah.
She's gotten so big.
[Emma] What matters is she's safe, Mom.
Yes.
- What are you doing?
- It's protocol.
That video was the only contact I've had
with my granddaughter in months.
We could have at least watched it again.
I know we all want to watch it again,
but, I mean, I promised it to the CIA.
Oh, and God forbid
the CIA ever comes second.
The same organization
keeping our family apart
and prosecuting Barry
[spluttering] and making me cook
for terrorists.
That's what's most important to you?
I don't even know who you are anymore.
[speaking Italian]
She made me an eggplant Parmesan.
It was dry.
[alarm ringing]
What is that?
I don't know. It's been going off
all morning. I think it's a fire alarm.
Well, if you know it's a fire alarm,
why didn't you check it out?
Why didn't you
keep your hands off my fiancée?
[sighs] Come on.
Sometimes, we don't do the things
we're supposed to do.
[alarm continues]
[ominous music playing]
[Emma] Looks like a flag on a message
posted on the dark web this morning.
$10 million offer for an expedited
retrofit to a particular style of drone.
Barry must've set up an alert for any
big-money offers to black-market traders
once we found out that Dante Cress
was funding this whole operation. Smart.
That original offer was pulled.
Must've found someone to do the retrofit.
Big money, fast turnaround,
complicated technology.
- That sounds like Greta.
- [groans]
We got to get in touch
with whoever filled that order
as quickly as possible.
How's your Turkish?
[in Turkish]
Excellent. Stronger than their coffee.
[in English] Okay, get in touch
with the US Embassy in Turkey.
Do whatever you can
to get the Great Dane on the phone.
Even if he's in solitary confinement,
I don't care.
We got to get in touch with him
because he would know
which one of his competitors
will fulfill a strange order
of a retrofitted drone that quickly.
[Aldon] Copy that.
[music ends]
Officer Putt,
these are Officers Martinez and Yang.
They're counterintelligence,
but you need to think of them
as your mother.
They'll wanna know where you were,
who you were with, what you were doing.
If they don't like your answers,
you'll be grounded.
- For life.
- [door opens]
Sorry I'm late.
This is a closed-door meeting, Pfeffer.
Then it's a good thing
I got in before the door closed.
And it's "Dr. Pfeffer."
I've been treating Officer Putt
for months,
which makes me responsible
for his mental health and well-being
while he is in hiding
due to the Boro incident,
a task designated to me by the CIA.
Your presence isn't needed here.
That is a medical determination
you're not qualified to make, sir.
But if my presence is an issue,
feel free to call Langley
and explain you want to contradict
their direct orders.
[Reed grunts]
Let's get started then, shall we?
Mr. Putt, tell us about the first time
you met Tina Mukerji.
[hesitates] I thought she was
the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen,
and I'd do anything to have her love me.
- Uh, objection.
- To what?
His really stupid answer.
You're not helping yourself.
Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.
We won't be able to get
the Great Dane on the horn
because he got paroled earlier today.
Ah, scheisse.
Wait, that drone wasn't obtained
by one of the Great Dane's competitors.
He fulfilled the order.
And Greta bought his way out of prison
in exchange for it.
I bet he went home to visit his son.
We need a jet. Okay?
And you keep an eye on Chips.
[Aldon groans]
Oh man, I love hanging out with the Dane.
[sighs]
[softly] Scheisse.
[doorbell chiming]
Whistling' and a singing' ♪
Dane!
Hi! What a surprise!
Come on in. Come on in. This is a little
"celebration of freedom" party. [laughs]
This is gonna be weird.
Come, hang out.
This is my beautiful, patient,
forgiving wife, Gertrude.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- Can I get you anything to drink?
- Water, thanks.
Yeah, water will be fine, thank you.
Thank you, Gertie.
- Don't you guys have a toddler?
- Yeah, Gunther.
He sleeps through everything.
Can I get you something?
- I got Bagel Bites, I got Pop-Tarts
- What are you, 12?
No, I couldn't smuggle all of the foods
I loved when I was in prison,
so when I got out, I got all my favorites.
I got I got Fudge Stripes, Dunkaroos.
I got some Cherry Cheese Pop'ems,
which is a weird thing
to have cherry and cheese,
but when you pop them,
you'll understand. [laughs]
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
I'll let you three talk.
Thank you, Gertie.
I'm sorry about that.
That was very tense.
The mismatched napkins?
That's a Canadian "fuck you."
Gertrude does not appreciate
my line of work,
and she does not appreciate me
talking about my line of work,
and you two reek of spy.
Well, she should be concerned
because we're not here
to celebrate your release.
We're here to talk business.
We need to know about a job
you recently did for Greta Nelso.
It involves a piece of equipment
that she's gonna use
to kill the US power grid,
and countless people as a result.
I did not know about that last part.
I'm not I'm not that type of guy.
Well, yeah, that's why we're here
talking to you, not kicking your ass.
All I did was hook her up with someone
that could retrofit a drone
to withstand high pressure.
- That's all.
- High pressure?
She's not gonna use the drone
to attack from above again.
She's gonna attack the next power plant
from under the water.
It has to be
the Kodiak Island nuclear facility,
the one that's in the Gulf of Alaska.
It's the only one of the four points
of vulnerability that makes sense.
Okay, look, Kodiak Island
sends all its nuclear power
through 1,500 miles of underwater cable
to something called
a coastal load center in Seattle,
which then distributes the power
across the Pacific Northwest.
Wow, everything is so exciting
with you guys.
Do you ever have, like, just a boring day?
[phone ringing]
Security, Lambert speaking.
[Luke] Yeah,
Officer Luke Brunner from the CIA.
Your facility is in great danger.
Is there anything unusual going on
over there?
No.
Look, uh, CIA and DOE alerted us
to the possibility of an attack
a few days ago,
but, uh, nothing's come up.
FDF's stationed outside around the clock.
So nothing inside,
equipment, computer system?
Because the attack could come
from anywhere.
We're fully operational.
We also complete a daily diagnostic check
every day at 2 p.m.
It scans our systems for malware
and updates with any security patches
to prevent hacks.
I'll keep my eye out, but I assure you,
as a nuclear facility,
we take every precaution we can.
Very good. Thank you very much.
Well, the Kodiak Island
hasn't been attacked yet,
so we have a chance
to stop Greta before she strikes.
[Emma] So I've been researching.
Underwater cables are usually buried,
but Greta didn't have the Great Dane
source any excavation equipment,
so I'm betting she's targeting the cable
somewhere where it isn't buried.
There is a 100-meter stretch
near the Gutierrez Trench
that's apparently all firm bedrock.
They must've just run the cables over it
to avoid the cost of blasting.
That has to be where she's going.
[phone vibrating, beeps]
- Yes?
- [Luke] Hey, it's Brunner.
I need you to send the Navy
and the Coast Guard to the Gulf of Alaska.
If we can act fast,
we may even catch Greta in the act.
The Gulf of Alaska
is almost 600,000 square miles.
I'll need something more specific.
Well, then send the ships
to the Gutierrez Trench
with a submersible
that goes all the way down to the bottom.
We have reasons to believe that
that is where Greta will strike.
I'll see what I can do.
[line disconnects]
He has to make phone calls.
You know what? While we wait,
you guys wanna see something awesome?
You ever seen anything so beautiful?
[Luke chuckles softly]
I used to dream I was sleeping next to him
when I was in prison.
Now I can see him
whenever I want. [laughs]
Sometimes, I'll just sneak in here
and hold his little hand
and just stare at him.
Is that weird?
- No.
- Kinda.
[sighs] It's such a precious time
when they're that little.
[gentle music playing]
And then they grow up so fast.
Then all of a sudden, one day you wish,
and you would do anything
to have them be little again.
Guys, if this kid wakes up and sees us
standing here, he's gonna shit.
- Yeah, let's go.
- Okay.
[phone ringing, vibrating]
- Oh.
- [phone beeps]
- Yep.
- [Reed] It's a no-go.
Things are tense with the Russians,
and having the Navy or the Coast Guard
mobilize off the coast of Alaska
will rattle some nerves.
They cannot risk a provocative action
unless there's proof
Kodiak Island is in trouble.
What are you talking about, "proof"?
Can only have proof after her attack.
- Then it's too late.
- Well, there's nothing I can do.
I am a regional CIA director.
- I am not the president.
- [phone beeps]
I can't believe this.
I mean, at first when we were in the tank,
he was not very helpful,
and now he doesn't want to do this.
Are you getting at something?
For someone that says
he wants to stop Greta,
Reed is not very helpful
in stopping Greta.
And then he comes out of nowhere
and takes over this director gig
because the guy
that was supposed to replace Dot,
his wife conveniently
gets into a car accident.
Are you trying to convince me
that someone within the agency
is working for Dante Cress?
Working for? No.
Is Dante Cress.
Knowing the way Cress operates,
it makes total sense that he's actually
part of the intelligence community.
Dad, you have no direct evidence.
It's speculation at best.
Shouldn't we just focus on trying
to stop Greta while we still can?
How? I mean, the last time I checked,
we don't have a high-tech submersible
that takes us all the way
to the bottom of the Gulf of Alaska.
No, but we do have
the very best black-market trader
in the world.
No, no, no. I I just got back.
I know you didn't do it on purpose,
but you did help Greta.
You really want that on your conscience?
- [intriguing music playing]
- All right, fine.
I will call my friend James Cameron.
He owes me a favor,
and he's got more subs than a Blimpie.
- You know James Cameron?
- [Great Dane] Yes.
And if he wants me
to keep getting him that fabric
for his non-EPA approved
little blue uniforms
with the ping-pong balls all over it,
he'll play ball,
and there will be a high-tech submersible
in Alaska when we touch down.
My wife is right behind me, right?
[Great Dane inhales sharply]
Look, I have to go, but it won't be
for three years this time, I promise.
We're out of ice.
[music fades]
Sorry you had to see that
and it got so heated.
You're OTS. You're supposed to be good
at this tech stuff.
- It is a BlackBerry. It's not Fort Knox.
- [shredder whirring]
All right? Just just get it done.
All right, thanks. Keep me posted.
[phone beeps]
What's going on in here?
Oh, uh, well, embarrassingly,
I had printed copies of TIA
for personal consumption,
but, uh, I'm just gonna destroy them.
Better safe than sorry.
Yeah, that's a real shame,
especially after
all that colorectal research
you had to do on my character.
Yeah, this thing is so stupid.
This book is so stupid.
Let me let me help ya.
I wanna feel good about myself,
and if that's the case, I have to go
and do something great in the real world
and not just be
a hot, ass-kicking comic-book character.
Well, I hate to break it to you, man,
but being hot and ass-kicking in real life
doesn't always get you the girl.
[Chips] Well, maybe not for you, chaps.
- What the hell is that supposed to mean?
- It means that Emma will be mine.
And then you'll be stuck with your doodles
and you with your swine.
[snorts]
Carter and I might not end up with Emma,
but it won't be because you're with her.
Yeah, it's 'cause she likes
good people like me
and not bad people like you.
[Chips] Haven't you heard?
I've turned over a new leaf.
You can sell Emma whatever you want,
but I'm not buying it.
Yeah, me neither.
Why don't you let me prove to you
what a good guy I am?
Go on.
About half an hour ago, Mrs. Brunner
left the house with a wrapped present.
- What?
- What?
Yep. I tried to stop her,
but I'm all tied up.
I called out to you. You were out back
on your phone, as you are now,
and Carter, you were with that shredder,
so you couldn't hear me.
Lots of people have been
sneaking out of here
for a place that's got five CIA agents.
I'm just saying.
She's not answering.
She probably took out her SIM card
so we can't track her.
She had a present.
She's gone to celebrate Romi's birthday
at Penny Possum's Pizza Place,
where they shove pizza in your face.
On the video, Romi was saying,
"They're about to shove pizza in my face."
That's the slogan
of Penny Possum's Pizza Place.
When you're a kindergarten teacher,
you learn the birthday hotspots.
- I'm gonna go get Tally.
- I'll go with you.
- Nope.
- She won't wanna leave.
Okay, what are you gonna do?
Are you gonna physically manhandle
Luke Brunner's ex-wife into a car?
What would your boss think of that?
Listen, I've known her for years.
I'm sure I could convince her to leave.
Shit. Okay, fine.
You know, I'm up for a lad's night out.
You know, change of scenery would be nice.
You're not going anywhere.
Well, actually, you know,
do we really wanna leave him
with the post-invasion Saddam Hussein?
Fine.
But if you try anything, you're losing
a leg along with 90% of your blood.
Okay.
Ah!
Lovely.
- Okay, Hamsteak.
- Don't touch my pig.
[Chips exhales]
Hey, Donnie, would you look after
Hamsteak, please?
Yeah.
What's a Hamsteak?
- [Hamsteak snorts]
- It's my pig.
[softly] You guys see that pig too?
Okay, Hamsteak's coming with. Let's go.
Let's roll.
Maybe bring back a pizza.
[door closes]
Okay, Mr. Putt, can you please explain
the meaning of this text
that you sent several months ago?
"Sorry for the issues last night."
"My staff wasn't operating
at full capacity after all the mead."
Who is the staff that you mention?
Who did you have
working under you and Tina?
- Well--
- You know what? I'm gonna
I'm gonna take this one.
So he wanted Tina working under him,
but the staff, AKA his donger,
wasn't up to the task
because he had
one too many tankards of mead
at the nerd-tastic Renaissance Faire.
Oh.
I see. Yeah.
My patient has a heart condition,
so perhaps a short break so we can get
a glass of water and a beta blocker.
I don't want it.
- You sure?
- You should get it.
I'm fine with dying.
Oh my God.
[dramatic sting]
- How deep is this trench?
- About 3,000 feet.
We should be hitting the bottom any
- [clanging]
- [Great Dane] Oh!
uh, second now.
Okay, there's the cable.
Lifting up a bit, moving forward.
Keep your eyes peeled for anything off.
There. Right there.
All right, let's just get a little closer
and take a look.
What is that?
Someone cut open the cable
and put some kind of a device on it.
Well, this has to be Greta.
But hold on, this doesn't make any sense.
According to the schematics,
that device isn't attached to the cable
carrying the nuclear power from the plant.
It's attached to the fiber optic
telecommunications cable.
Oh my God, is it a bomb?
It looks like a bomb.
No, no, if you want to blow the power,
then you would put a bomb
on the power line.
And if you wanna screw with the data,
you put something on the telecom line.
What the hell is Greta up to?
It has to be
some kind of a computer virus.
Something like the Stuxnet.
Mm-hmm. And what's that
for the non-CIA super geniuses?
Stuxnet was a virus
targeted at Iran's nuclear facilities.
It made the centrifuges
all spin out of control.
I mean, a virus like that would be
disastrous to the Kodiak Island plant.
It'd definitely force it to shut down.
But if Greta has already
sent over the virus,
then why did they say
there is nothing wrong
over there at the plant when we called?
Because nothing's wrong yet.
Didn't that security guy say they do
daily diagnostic checks and reboots?
Yes.
That's when the virus will be activated
in the system.
It's like an iPhone update,
except Greta's new feature
is gonna cause nuclear meltdown.
The diagnostic check
is in less than an hour,
so we have to get to the top
and warn them not to reboot.
Okay, but first we need to get the device
off the cable
so Greta can't just send the virus
to the plant again.
The submersible has this robotic arm.
[Emma exhales, inhales]
Let me just
Whoa.
[Emma sighs]
It's like the most high-stakes game
of Operation ever.
[Great Dane chuckles]
[robotic arm whirring]
A little bit more to the right.
Shit. You know what? Yeah. Be my guest.
Okay.
- Now see?
- [robotic arms whirring]
Slow is smooth, and smooth is fast.
I just have to get this off
without touching the power cable.
[alarm rings]
- [Emma] Is there a problem, Dad?
- [Luke] Oh shit.
[Tally] Hey, princess.
I know May-me's not supposed to be here,
but I just missed you so much.
- [vehicle approaching]
- [tires squealing]
No.
- No.
- [Aldon] Hey, Tally--
- We're just here to talk.
- Wait, Mrs. B.
- Wait.
- [Tally] No.
I was gonna drop off the gift before
they got here, but they came in early.
Look, I don't wanna scare Romi,
but now I just have to see her, please.
I know, but you can't be out of the house.
It's dangerous for any of us.
[Tally] This is ridiculous!
- [engine revving]
- [tires squealing]
- Come on. Please, let me go.
- Uh, gents?
Gents?
- Dropping off a gift won't hurt anybody.
- Gents?
[tense music playing]
I hope I'm just seeing things again here.
[Aldon] Shit.
It's the goddamn Swedish mafia.
There's a Swedish mafia?
[closing theme playing]
[closing theme ends]