Platonic (2023) s02e05 Episode Script

1
This is a disaster. I can't be late
for Charlie on Jeopardy!
- I mean… it's just not possible.
- You're gonna make it.
Move!
You'll make it with plenty of time.
Move!
Where is Sylvia?
She should be back from San Diego by now.
She promised she'd be here.
She just texted she's stuck in traffic,
but she's close.
She's texting while driving?
- You know Shirley?
- I don't.
Her husband, Leonard,
was texting while driving,
and he got into a car accident and died.
Thank you.
- I love your mother.
- Why?
- I may be her for Halloween.
- Okay.
That's not gonna help!
They can't go anywhere.
- Goddamn it.
- They can't go anywhere.
Move!
You're one of those people with
a fucked-up car, who's a bad driver.
And you're, like,
- "That's how their car got fucked up."
- Can you just shut up? Shut up.
Okay, family. Time to sit down.
- Hey, Daddy. Beast mode.
- Beast mode.
Good luck, Daddy.
- Good luck.
- Thanks.
Oh, my God. He's literally
starting to tape in three minutes.
Okay. It's okay. You just go ahead.
I'll deal with the car.
All right. You sure?
- Yes.
- Okay. Thank you.
Holy shit, it's Tony Shalhoub.
Yo. Monk rules!
Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit,
shit, shit.
From the Alex Trebek Stage
at Sony Pictures Studios.
This is Jeopardy!
Please welcome today's contestants.
A US history teacher from Scottsdale,
Arizona, Andrea Kim.
An attorney from Los Angeles, California,
Charlie Greeves.
And our returning champion.
A pharmaceutical representative
from Needham, Massachusetts,
Morris Reddy,
whose two-day cash winnings total $42,000.
And now, here is the host of Jeopardy!
Ken Jennings.
Thank you, Johnny Gilbert.
Welcome to Jeopardy!
Our returning champion,
Morris, is back with us today.
Joined by two new challengers,
Charlie and Andrea.
Best of luck to all three of you.
Let's get to work on the Jeopardy! round.
Here are your categories.
First up, we have
"The Wonderful World of Disney."
Followed by "Feminist Novels."
Then, "On the Map,"
"Before and After,"
"Potent Potables,"
and finally, "Stuff on Stamps."
Morris, start us off.
Take "The Wonderful World of Disney"
for 200.
"This tale as old as time
tells the story of a cursed prince
and the bookish girl who loves him."
- Charlie.
- What is Beauty and the Beast mode?
I'm sorry, that is not correct.
- Morris or Andrea?
- What is Beauty and the Beast?
That is it for 200.
Although, interesting response there,
Charlie.
I'd like to see that movie.
- Morris, back to you.
- I'll take "Feminist Novels" for 400.
Written by Sylvia Plath, this debut
explores the existential struggles
of a college student
who dreams of becoming a poet.
Charlie.
Charlie?
You're out of time.
Andrea.
- What is The Bell Jar?
- That's it.
I'll take "On the Map" for 200.
Don't worry, Charlie, we'll edit that out.
Fretum Herculeum
is the Latin name of this strait.
What is happening to Daddy?
- Morris.
- What is the Strait of Gibraltar?
That's right.
Take "Potent Potables" for 800.
Oh, my God. Close your mouth, babe.
I don't think this guy knows where he is.
I'm sorry, sir,
but your card was declined.
Do you have another form of payment?
Give me a second,
I'll sort this out, okay?
Take your time.
You've reached Johnny 66
Corporate Travel, this is Trent.
Hey, Trent, this is Will Zysman calling.
I'm heading up the Jay 6 pilot program
in Los Angeles,
and the hotel I'm staying at just told me
my corporate card was declined.
Yes, your corporate card
has been canceled.
What? What the fuck does that…
I just gotta pay for all my own
hotels and shit from now on?
Yes, I've been told to tell you that,
let's see here,
"this is not our problem."
Great, Trent, thank you.
Appreciate your help.
- Have a good one.
- Thank you for calling Corporate…
She took away my corporate car.
She took away my corporate credit card.
She's trying to make it
impossible for me to do my job properly.
But you're seriously gonna
stay on the job?
I worked there before we started dating.
I'm not gonna quit
just because we broke up,
even though that's
what she's trying to get me to do.
And you don't think
leaving your boss at the altar
might, you know, affect your job at all?
I mean,
if you're petty and immature, maybe.
But I am more than happy to look past it
and continue to do
what I'm supposed to do for a living.
- You know what I mean?
- Okay.
It's not like I can
open my Shitty Little Bar.
She just said that when she was
very angry. I don't think Jenna meant it.
She meant it.
She looked me deep in my eyes,
and she said that shit with the conviction
you say something to someone with
when you've wanted to say it
for a really long time
and you're finally
letting yourself say it.
How did Charlie do on Jeopardy!?
He wasn't great, but he'll be fine.
I'm sure he will. He's a big, strong guy.
- Yeah. He'll bounce back.
- Yeah.
Yeah, that's great. Well, just
so you know, I won't be here for long.
I'll be out of your hair in no time.
You know?
- Yeah.
- Like a cat. Always land on my feet.
I love that.
All right, well, if you want,
you can always just,
you know, feel free to just use…
use one of the coasters. If you want.
If I want. If I'm inclined to.
But if I'm not, that's okay with you.
Feel free.
- You really want me to use coasters.
- I… Look… Feel free. It's your call.
Great.
Fuck.
Hey, honey, love the new look.
You staying home today?
Yeah, you know,
I took the whole week off for Jeopardy!
- and I thought, why not enjoy the break?
- Thank you.
Good idea. Yeah. Should just relax.
I know I've said it
a thousand times before,
but I feel so guilty that I was
late to the show, and I…
Don't worry about it.
Seriously. It's okay.
Sorry.
Guys.
Dad's making pancakes
and it's not even a Sunday.
That's a special treat.
Here we go. And here we go.
And…
I'm off carbs.
Okay.
Wonder who that is.
Hey, bud, you know what's in that cereal?
Protein.
There's carbs in there.
Nope. It's protein.
Did someone order a Frappuccino
with whip and, I think, four cake pops?
Oh, my God, thank you, Dad.
Is there a pink one?
Yo. Hey. You got my order. Perfect.
- Thank you so much.
- Right. Of course.
- Good morning, Greeves family.
- Morning.
It smells great.
You might wanna fix
the water pressure in the ADU.
It's, like, a little kind of dribbly,
I guess.
How long is Will gonna be with us?
Just a couple more days, yeah.
He's gonna head back to San Diego
once he gets himself together.
I have a meeting with Stewart, so I have
to go to your office while you're here.
Yeah. Do me a favor.
Don't mention the Jeopardy! thing
to anybody at work.
I had to sign an NDA.
I'm also kind of embarrassed.
Babe, no one's gonna notice.
Yeah. It is gonna be
on national television.
Nobody watches TV anymore.
They just look at TikTok.
- It'll be on TikTok too.
- He's right, it will be.
- Okay.
- Okay. Bye.
- Bye, guys. See ya later.
- Bye.
Hey.
Hello?
Hey.
How can I help you?
I think I'm good.
Great.
Next question.
Who the fuck are you?
Why the fuck are you sitting at my desk?
- Who are you?
- I'm Will Zysman.
This is my office. You're at my desk.
Now your turn.
I know who you are.
- Oh, great.
- I'm Terry.
Jenna put me in charge of Jay 6.
Turns out, I'm the new you.
Hey, why don't you go ahead
and stock the bar? Thanks, man.
I'm not a fucking stock boy, dude.
You're definitely not a boy. Dude.
What is going on right now?
Why are you here?
- Take it up with Jenna.
- I will take it up with Jenna.
- Okay, dude.
- Great, dude.
Great, dude.
The fuck.
- Oh, no. Straight to voicemail?
- No.
Might be trouble in paradise.
- What have you heard?
- Heard the whole story.
It's a tearjerker.
Jesus Christ, man.
What is your fucking deal?
Why you coming after me, man?
I like you a lot.
I think you've been fucking with me
since the second I came in here.
No. "I haven't."
- The fuck is that?
- You're one of my favorite people.
The thing you did when you first came in?
I was like, "wow."
I said hello and then you made fun of it.
Yes, that was it.
I'll be back, and we're gonna
sort all of this fucking out, okay?
You're gonna apologize to me
when this is over.
- You're the man.
- What the fuck, dude.
Hey, Jenna?
Hey. Yeah, yeah, we're good.
Yeah, he should be gone in 48 hours.
I did the Terry character.
It's really effective.
Fucking asshole.
Yes!
I just wanted to say thank you
so much for this opportunity.
I'm so thrilled, and I promise
I will throw an end-of-the-year party
that will be unforgettable.
You always bring the sparkle, Sylvia.
Well, great news,
I spoke with The Little Door,
and they said that if we
rent the first floor out,
they can accommodate 200 people
with passed hors d'oeuvres.
I have the contract right here…
Terrific. One thing
I keep forgetting to mention to you
is that Frank wants to make
this year's party his retirement party.
Oh, really? That's so sweet.
So I assume he wants to
invite some family and…
He'll have a personal guest list,
but also, because he is
one of the founding partners,
we're gonna have to invite
the satellite offices from New York,
Dallas and I think Chicago.
So it'll be more than 200 people.
Like, 1,500 at least.
- 1,500?
- At least.
- Really? 1,500 people?
- At least.
Well, I don't think The Little Door
can accommodate 1,500 people.
Well, they don't call it "The Big Door."
No, they don't. That is true.
So you'll find somewhere else.
No big deal.
Oh, yeah, no, that's a… great news and…
- That's a big number, 1,500, but I…
- At least.
I…
I just might…
have a conflict.
- A conflict?
- Yes. Yes.
What kind of conflict?
Well, I apologize
'cause I've just been so busy,
but I just realized
that I might have a conflict.
And, yes, my calendars
didn't sync up, clearly.
But…
Yeah.
So are you telling me
that you can no longer
plan the party that you agreed to plan?
Not the case. Not the case.
Not the case at all.
If you just… I'll just…
I will circle back to you
to touch base on the same page.
- Pronto.
- Great.
I have a 2:15. Give my love to Charlie.
Yes, yes. Will do.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
I don't even know what I said in there.
Over 1,500 people.
I mean, how does Frank
even know 1,500 people?
Who does he think he is, the Pope? Jesus.
I mean, that's not an annual office party.
That's the Bondi Beach Winter Fest.
What?
I'm trying to get in touch
with business affairs at King World
about maybe getting an injunction
about airing my episode.
What? What are you talking about?
I just need Ed Little
at King World to get back to me.
Honestly, it'd be better for everyone
if they didn't air my episode.
It is not great TV.
Babe, would you mind
if we just didn't talk about Jeopardy!,
just for, like, a few seconds
and actually focus on something real.
Look, basically I told Stewart
that I think that I have a conflict
because there's just no way
I could pull it off.
So it's like… I kind of soft-quit.
Yeah, of course you quit.
You quit everything.
- What?
- Look, babe, I'm just saying, obviously…
you don't take your business
very seriously.
And then he said to me,
"Yeah, but you quit everything."
I'm sorry.
The only thing I ever quit was the job
I left to raise your three children.
Yeah, but at the same time,
he's kinda not wrong, you know?
What is that supposed to mean?
It means you tend to,
you know, second guess everything,
and it makes you nervous you're
not gonna succeed, and then you bail.
You quit. You do quit things.
I've seen you do it.
But… You do the same thing.
I don't do the same thing.
I actually never quit anything.
Like right now, my boss is this fucking
weird little motherfucker who hates me.
I'm not going anywhere.
But you got this, okay?
You're gonna nail this.
I don't think I can.
I really don't think I can.
Look, don't let your insecurities
take hold of you, okay?
So Charlie, you know, he lashed out
and he said something very mean.
You know who does that? Everybody.
I say crazy fucking shit all the time.
As I'm saying it, I'm like, "I don't
mean this. This is nuts." You know?
But you are gonna throw a kick-ass party
for this boring-ass law firm.
- You know what? You're right.
- I am.
- I'm not gonna quit.
- Nope.
And, no matter what Charlie says,
I do take my business seriously.
- Very seriously. Yes.
- You know?
I am gonna throw a spectacular party
for that boring-arse law firm.
- I know you are.
- Yeah.
Fucking A.
Could you get, like, some more grapes
next time you go shopping?
You like red or green…
No, I'm not getting you grapes.
Okay. Worth a shot.
So, yeah, they can accommodate
1,500 people.
They can set up a buffet, you know,
it's great air conditioning. You know.
I've been to events here before.
I mean, who could forget
this hideous carpet?
It looks like the COVID spike protein.
Yeah.
You know what? We can do better than this.
It's fine. It fits 1,500 people.
It's what these bland
conference ballrooms are for.
No. This is Frank's last bash.
There's lawyers flying in
from all over the country.
Let's do it up.
Sylvia, it's the annual office party.
There's no doing it up.
Well, it means a lot to me.
It's my first big corporate gig.
I wanna blow this
out of the water for you guys.
This place sucks.
Okay. So what are you thinking?
It's LA, so let's give them
some Hollywood glamour.
That's what people come here for.
Like the La Cienega Haciendas?
- Yes.
- Oh, my God. Have you been?
Yes.
I had no idea that you and Charlie
rolled like that.
I love that. I love that.
And I didn't know
that you guys were members.
You have to be a member? Yes.
Do you really think that
they would let us have it there?
Because that would be, like,
life goals for me.
- Life goals.
- Yes.
I'll go and I'll find out.
We're gonna go down in firm history.
La Cienega Haciendas?
That is very exciting.
That is the spot right now.
Very Hollywood glamorous.
Okay, what does the website say?
Nothing. It says inquire
but there's nothing to click on.
That is so fucking cool.
It's cool?
What kind of business
doesn't have a proper website?
That is a business that is so exclusive
that it actively
does not want you to find it.
- It is hiding in plain sight.
- Oh, my God.
Is this one of those places
that's, like, impossible to get into?
Yeah. No randos allowed. Very excluse.
What am I gonna do? How am I gonna…
I told Stewart that I would meet him here.
Okay. I wanna introduce you
to a little phrase of mine.
"Don't ask, don't get."
Do you know what it means?
It means if you don't ask for something,
you don't get it.
- Wow.
- I preach it on my podcast.
It's actually one of the pillars
of the whole Boss Mama business model.
Boss Mama? What's that? What's happening?
Boss Mama is my corporation
and my attitude.
- It's inspiring, isn't it?
- You have a corporation?
- Basically.
- Okay.
I'm serious. How am I gonna get in here?
I told Stewart I was gonna meet him here.
What am I gonna do?
Worry not, I have a hookup.
- Really? Thank you. Thank you, mate.
- You're welcome.
Thank you. Thank you.
Okay, now on to the most important part.
We have to work on what you're gonna
wear tonight to the La Cienega Haciendas.
Hey, you've reached Trent at Johnny 66.
Leave a message.
Yo, Trent. Hey.
Seems like I keep missing ya.
Just wanted to circle back and reconnect
to make sure my time is
being used productively.
Yeah. I'm around. Call me back.
Thank you so much. Bye.
That's not good.
Hey.
- Hey.
- You work out a lot, man.
Yeah. When I have time.
So, what do you, like…
What do you max out at?
I don't really do that.
Okay. Cool. Have fun.
- Hey, Will?
- Yeah?
You wanna watch me max out?
Yeah.
Yeah! You got it!
Yeah, you're gonna lift it!
Yeah, bring it down then lift it!
Yeah, curse. Curse!
Okay. Fucking lift this fucking bar,
you fucking bitch!
Are you the kind of guy
that can lift fucking bars
or are you not that kind of man?
- I lift bars. I lift bars.
- Yeah, lift it!
Lift it, you fucking bitch, motherfucker.
Lift this fucking bar!
Yeah. Fuck you! Fuck you!
- Yeah! Yeah.
- Yeah! Fuck, yeah!
- You fucking did it! Yeah, dude!
- Yeah!
- That was fucking sick.
- Yeah!
That is the most I have ever benched.
That is the most I've ever
yelled at anyone.
That was awesome, dude.
Dude, can I poke your muscle?
Yeah. It's full of blood.
- Yeah.
- It's really hard.
- Yeah.
- How do I get that?
I only eat chicken.
- I only eat pizza, so…
- Right. Okay.
Hey, it's your turn.
- What?
- Yeah.
Let's do it.
You've got it. Get it, get it, get it.
- Call me a bitch!
- Bitch!
Drive, drive, drive!
Yeah! Yeah!
Goddamn. It does help
being called a bitch.
- It does.
- It really motivated me.
- Tell me about it.
- Oh, fuck. It… That's crazy.
What was that? 300 pounds?
It was 90 pounds.
I'll take it.
- Like lifting a small lady.
- Right.
I feel really good. I was, like,
angry and full of rage before.
Now it's, like, turned into,
like, a good feeling.
You know what'd make you feel even better?
Going ham on some RDLs. Come on.
I'd love to,
but I actually gotta check in with work.
Also, I have no fucking clue
what that means.
- Yeah. Romanian dead lifts, but whatever.
- Yeah.
This was fun.
- Yeah, yeah. Super fun.
- Yeah, it's fun.
Fucking Terry. Fucking guy.
He put up this banner I already rejected.
I can't with this dude.
Good luck with that.
Actually, I gotta head over to Jay 6.
Do you wanna come?
Free drinks on me after I drop-kick Terry.
- Oh, yeah.
- Great.
- I'll meet you out front.
- Awesome.
- Cool.
- Sweet.
Dude night out of nowhere.
Wow, this is so nice.
Oh, my goodness. We are so overdressed.
Everyone is in normal clothes and shit.
He's wearing cargo pants.
Are you crazy?
We are killing it
in our LBDs and our stilettos.
- Oh, my God.
- Like, they can feel our power.
Okay, never stop for clipboards.
Can I help you?
- Oh, hello.
- Oh, hi.
No, I don't think so.
We're just gonna go in.
Sorry, we don't allow walk-ins.
This is a private club.
Yeah.
Will this help grease the wheels?
Can I get three back?
- It's not happening.
- Yeah.
Would you say that to us if we were men?
Yes.
Yeah.
We'll be right back.
- What's up?
- What do you mean?
I thought you could get us in.
I thought you said you had a hookup.
Are you crazy? We're here
just outside of La Cienega Haciendas.
I know, but the point is to get inside.
I have to get inside.
It's Stewart.
"Ran into Sam Smith's trainer outside.
Know him from SoulCycle. He got me in.
Meet me in the VIP."
That's great. He can get us in!
Are you crazy? He can't get us in.
The whole point is that he thinks
Charlie and I are members.
- But you're not.
- I know.
Okay, okay, okay. We can fix this.
I've got it.
Let's go get pizza. I'm so hungry.
What are you talking about?
I have to get inside somehow.
Stewart is expecting me.
Ladies, I'm gonna
have to ask you to leave.
- We don't allow loitering.
- Yeah.
We're not loitering.
We're standing and talking and waiting.
Okay. I'll get us an Uber.
Believe it or not, this was a success.
What are you talking about?
I don't understand.
What do you mean?
We're practically inside.
But we're not inside.
We're not inside.
Are you trying to get in?
- Yes.
- Yeah.
You can be my guest.
But I can only take one of you.
If I walk in with two, they'll notice.
I'll take either of you.
You're both lovely.
You go. Go.
- Are you sure?
- Yes.
Thank you. Thank you so much.
I have to get in here for work.
I know, working girl.
They call it the oldest profession.
Go get 'em, Syl.
Fucking sign.
This is it. This is the sign.
It's really not that bad.
The fuck is this doing here?
I don't want this sign here.
And also, why are we selling
hard seltzers?
This is a fucking alehouse, man.
That's because that's
much more popular than your beer.
Nobody likes it. It doesn't sell.
I love it, but people fucking hate it.
It's crazy.
You know what, like you,
this sign is ugly and meaningless,
and it's going the fuck down.
Now that's mean.
You're hurting my feelings, my dude.
Good. I'm glad. I don't believe you,
but I hope I am.
Okay. Hey… Wait. Let me get it on camera.
- Cool?
- No.
Come on, man. Please, you look great.
Okay, you are in a legal gray zone here.
Now, I don't think desecrating
company property is a gray zone.
Is it, Charlie Greeves?
Wait, how do you know my name?
Dude, I know everything about you, Will.
You're my brother.
And I also know about
your casual acquaintances.
That's just me, man.
I love to invest in people I love
and care about.
This guy freaks me out.
Yeah, it's fucking freaky.
- Do I do it? Do I do it?
- No… I…
- I'm gonna fucking do it.
- I don't know man.
What should you do?
What is the heart of an alehouse?
Explain that to me.
You're looking at it, dipshit.
Right? Hello, sir.
You know what?
This thing's fucking coming down.
It's fucking gone.
- I'm getting out of here.
- I would not take those.
Okay, yeah. You saw it here, folks.
Fuck you. I'm taking the seltzer.
I'm getting outta here.
I'm taking some seltzer too.
That's larceny. But go ahead
and grab 'em. Yeah. Take 'em away.
It's not larceny. It's seltzer.
How you doing over here? Hey,
- are you a member of our rewards program?
- No.
My big problem is,
I have all this, like, rage, though.
And I wish I could just, like,
channel it into something productive.
Like my Shitty Little Bar, you know?
But then I just start thinking,
it's like, it's such a big swing.
It's such a huge roll of the dice.
I'm always gambling
my whole life on these things.
And then I look at you, and I think,
wouldn't it be nice if,
for two days a year,
I could just be like you, you know? Solid.
I mean, thanks, man,
but I'm solid because I have to be.
I have a wife and three kids to support.
I don't have a choice.
And you know what?
This is gonna sound dumb.
What?
I think I thought that
after I was on Jeopardy!,
everything would be different in my life.
Yeah, you can laugh at that.
I mean, with all due respect,
I don't think anyone's life
has become different
after they were on Jeopardy!
Ken Jennings won four million.
One fucking dude in 80 years
of that show being on.
- One guy.
- Congratulations.
I thought you liked your life.
Why do you want it to be so different?
No, I don't. I mean, it's great.
Of course, it's…
It's great. It's great.
It's just been exactly the same
for a very, very long time.
Sometimes I feel boxed in.
I guess I just wish I could blow shit up.
Like you just did.
You know, every once in a while.
Yeah.
I don't know if that's the lesson I would
take from what just happened, necessarily,
but don't you like being a lawyer?
I mean, it's what I do
because I am the family provider.
So do you not like being a lawyer?
I don't even think I can
ask myself that question.
You should ask yourself that question.
Well, I don't know.
I mean, sometimes, yes.
I've liked being a lawyer in the past.
It's just that it is the same,
day in and day out.
So fucking quit, dude.
Blow it all up. Start a new chapter.
You know what I mean?
- No, it's too late.
- It is not too late.
Come on.
I've changed jobs
many times throughout my life.
People do it all the time.
It's never too late.
But what would I do, man?
You could do anything.
You could be a stripper.
You could join that
Magic Mike show in Vegas.
You could be a bodyguard.
One of those guys who wears a unitard,
who lifts, like, a bar
with the cannonballs on the side.
- A strong man. Yeah.
- A strong man.
You could do anything.
The sky's the limit for guys like you.
- Yeah. Thanks, man.
- Yeah.
You know what?
I feel like stretching my legs.
- You wanna go for a walk?
- Yeah.
I mean, it's a pretty dangerous
neighborhood, but I'm with a strong man.
- Strong man. Yeah. That's right.
- Yeah.
All right. Strong man needs his food.
- Just bring the whole basket.
- Okay.
Yeah, I loved my place downtown,
but now you go over there
and it's all skyscrapers
and Cybertrucks and shit.
I'm thinking of moving to, like,
Highland Park, maybe, or Glassell Park
or, you know, one of those places
that has Park in the name
but doesn't actually have a park.
You know, it's been really nice
chatting and bonding.
Yeah. Pretty great.
It's such a relief to just, you know,
get out of my head for a while.
Yeah. You gotta take some time
for yourself, you know.
Yeah.
You know, there are several times
in the history of Jeopardy!
when episodes have been
filmed but never aired.
Cool.
There was a streaking event in 2012
and in the 1980s they lost an episode
due to technical difficulties.
And then of course,
the attacks on September 11th.
Yeah. I'd imagine…
You wanna go play some pool or something?
Reggie has this
after-hours poker game at the bar.
He calls it Reggie's Game.
That sound fun to you?
The name of the man
who lives in this house is Ed Little.
He's the Head of Business Affairs
for King World Media and if he wanted to,
he could make my episode
of Jeopardy! disappear.
Like that.
What are we doing here, Charlie?
If my episode of Jeopardy! never airs,
I can go back to the way I felt
before I ever got on.
I don't know if that's necessarily true.
I'm here to tear down the banner, Will.
Look, I did not mean showing up
to some guy's house
like it's the fucking Purge, okay?
Wow, thank you
for getting me to this place.
I didn't get you anywhere.
You did the heavy lifting.
Heavy lifting. That's funny.
I didn't mean it like that.
We've had a good time, haven't we?
- I guess.
- Yeah.
We've had a good time.
Goddamn it.
This is fucked.
What the fuck are we doing?
Let's not do this. Fuck. I've got an idea.
Why don't you just, like,
write a letter and put it in his mailbox?
Or better yet,
let's just get the fuck out of here.
No. You of all people should understand.
Ed Little is my Terry.
No, he's not.
You don't even know this fucking guy.
What are we doing, man?
Jesus Christ, dude. Oh, my God.
Holy shit.
- All right. I need a boost.
- Dude, no.
They could have a Ring camera
or something. We shouldn't be doing this.
- We should get the fuck out of…
- I said, give me a boost.
Okay.
Fuck.
Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Put them in your hand.
I'm gonna step on your head.
- No! Don't step on my head!
- I gotta.
You're so heavy! You're all muscle.
- Jesus Christ.
- Okay.
Fucking shit. Are you okay?
Hey, Will.
I don't think I actually
wanna do this anymore.
Good. Thank fucking God, let's go.
Let's get the fuck out of here, dude.
Okay.
Okay.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
I can't pull myself up.
What do you mean?
You should've never told me to max out.
I didn't make you max out.
You wanted to fucking max out.
Don't blame me for this.
I would never tell a man to max out.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Holy fuck.
Oh, my God. Oh, my…
Hurry! Come on.
Okay, what do I do?
They're fucking on to us.
Let's get the fuck out of there.
Oh, my God. This is a disaster.
I'm trespassing. I'm gonna get disbarred.
No fucking shit, genius.
That's what I said. Let's go.
Oh, my God. This was such a bad idea.
What the fuck is the point of working out
so much if you can't climb a fucking wall?
Why don't we call the police?
What? We're gonna call the cops
on ourselves, you fucking moron?
But maybe they'll understand.
Look, look. Here's what you do.
We rang the doorbell, nobody answered,
maybe there's no one home.
Go to the back door, see if it's open.
If it is, come through the house,
let yourself out the front.
- The fuck are you doing?
- Goddamn it.
Hello?
Okay, the door is open,
but I don't wanna go in there.
The coast looks clear from here.
Hurry it up, dude. Come on. Do this thing.
Okay, as soon as
I step over the threshold,
I will be breaking and entering
and not just trespassing.
Congrats. You're a felon now.
Get this fucking shit over with.
Hurry. Come on, man.
Hurry up.
What are you, fucking tiptoeing?
- Oh, wow. That's Alex Trebek.
- Focus.
Focus, man. Focus, Charlie.
What is that?
- Oh, my God.
- Come on. Unlock.
There's stoned kids. There's stoned kids.
- Come on. Jesus fucking Christ.
- Let's go.
Fucking shit, dude. Are you okay?
Here. Let me help you.
Here, put your arm around me.
Put your arm around me.
- Dude, it's just Jeopardy!
- Okay.
- Who cares?
- Cool.
What's going on?
- Hi.
- Oh, wow.
Look at you, all glammed up.
What a fun costume.
Where are you coming from?
Well, the school had a gala for the kids.
And it was a, like,
fashion elegance theme,
so I just threw this on.
Weird.
Well, this place is dreamy.
You have killed it.
I was introduced to Tom Ford.
He was incredibly courteous.
How can one man be so perfect?
So, when do I get
the contracts for this place?
Yes, well…
So…
- Can I be honest?
- Always.
Do we think that this vibe
is a little too trendy,
too Hollywood for what we want, you know?
- Absolutely not.
- No?
I just, you know… I wanna find
the perfect place for this party.
And if you have any, like, vague inkling
that you are getting
second thoughts about it,
then this is a good time
to look for somewhere else.
Sylvia, what is going on?
What is going on?
We can't have it here.
I'm so sorry. I screwed up.
I think I gave you the wrong impression
that Charlie and I were members,
and we're not.
And you can't throw a party here
without being a member.
I'm sorry. And you get it, right?
It's just… It's not gonna happen.
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
No, no, no, Sylvia.
It's too late. I ran it up the chain.
Frank likes it.
Frank's wife likes it,
the partners like it.
They want to have the party here.
This is not negotiable, Sylvia.
We need to have this party
at La Cienega Haciendas
or it will blow back on me and on Charlie.
Okay. Okay, you're right. You're right.
I promised you to throw a party
for the law firm that was unforgettable.
- You did.
- Yeah. And…
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it.
I'm going to tell that manager
she's booking our party.
This is gonna happen.
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
Fuck me.
Oh, my goodness. What happened?
Beast mode.