Smiling Friends (2020) s02e05 Episode Script
Brother's Egg
1
No. Give it here.
I want that.
You got
Oh, he almost got the ham then.
That was a close one.
Yeah, that was close.
I don't wanna to watch this.
Come on, Allan.
It's actually a really
informat..
Where's the remote?
I want to watch the updates on
the war.
The remote's broken.
All right.
Well, can we turn it down at..
TV's broken too.
So we just have to watch this?
Yep.
Oh, I forgot about that alarm.
Yeah, me too.
We don't really
he..
Thanks for coming, guys.
I just got a
really exciting job for y'all.
Awesome, man.
Yeah, what is it?
You two now have THE..
Jared Fogle!
The subway guy!
As you guys know,
we're not allowed to say no
to anyone who calls us.
So, yeah, you're helping
Jared Fogle smile today.
Pretty cool, right?
Oh, Lord.
I'm just fucking with you.
That was too far, man.
Jared Fogle is a genuine fucking
menace.
Absolutely not.
I did not like that.
Yeah, he's a pedophile.
Oh, come on, guys.
It was funny.
The costume, come on!
No, it wasn't.
No, it..
I did not find that funny.
I have a line with that kind of
stuff.
I don't find that stuff funny.
I -- No.
So, do we have a real job?
Oh, yeah.
I actually got a call fr..
He sounded completely frantic
and was saying something
about an egg dilemma.
Oh, please, I'm serious this
time.
Please believe me.
Fuck off, Dude, that's cheap.
That's just --
that's low hanging fruit.
That one got you.
Yeah, the dog face.
Yeah, the dog got me.
Good job.
You love it.
I do.
I do.
You -- you..
There it is again.
Let's go, Charlie.
What kind of
scientist lives in a tunnel,
dude?
I think we're almost there.
I see a light ahead.
Greetings!
I am Professor Psychotic!
And you are just in time for the
show!
Yes, Yes!
OH, my God!
What the hell, dude!
No need to be alarmed!
Dude, what was that?
What was that thing?
That was a failure is what it
was!
I injected my psychotic DNA
into a chicken egg
and let it marinate for 14 moons
and it was supposed to
create a living homunculus
but instead it died
just like all the others!
So, what do you need us for?
The reason I called you two here
is
because I'm missing
what all mad scientists have.
Assistance!
With your help
together
we can finally succeed in my
lifelong mission of crea..
Then I will finally take over
the world!
Yo.
Uh, yo, what's up?
What's up, man?
Vanessa's over.
We're trying to watch TV.
You're being incredibly loud.
Uh, you just like, my volume,
or--
Yeah, volume.
That's what loud means, doesn't..
Yeah, I have the door closed.
We're on the couch on the
other side of this paper-thin
wall.
We're trying to
watch a nice romantic movie
and all we're hearing
is injecting DNA into an egg.
Yeah, that's what I do. Yeah.
Yeah, that's what you do.
You waste time.
You do stupid shit all the time.
You notice this is what I care
about?
This is what you care about!
Care about something better!
Care about yourself, maybe!
Care about me.
The people who are
keeping you alive!
I care about you.
This is like my job, basically.
Oh, you care about me?
That's so good.
You're only doing
your job.
Get an actual job!
Get one that pays you.
You know, I looked.
It's a hard economy out there.
It's a hard economy?
How about the economy
of my patients?
It's running thin, buddy.
Paper-thin like these walls.
What? Dude, you have your
problems, too.
I got my problem.
Okay, okay.
Get the fuck out!
I--
Get the fuck out!
Go!
Fuck
Fuck
Dude, what do I do?
I didn't have a place to stay.
Fuck
Uh, yeah. Can you just give ..
I can understand you.
I took Spanish in school.
Oh, cool. I --
I guess you now our plan, then.
Um, Yeah.
All right, Professor Psychotic.
This place is great. I love this
place.
All you got to do is
just watch me.
It's very simple.
All right, you wanna grab,
You wanna to grab a guy there,
Okay, you wanna to see that
part right there?
You wanna to twist.
You wanna to pull,
You wanna to grab that part.
You wanna to d..
You wanna dip.
You wanna to throw
the other piec..
Dip it in some of that
and you just-- you enjoy it.
Mm, it's good. Now you try.
I still can't
believe my brother kicked me
out.
The craziest part
is I'm 100% in the right.
No, dude, your
brother kind of has a point,
okay?
This mad scientist
stuff is ruining your life.
You just got kicked
out of your place, dude.
Well, I wouldn't say
it's just the mad scientist
stuff.
It's definitely the mad
scientist--
it's definitely the mad
scientist stuff, 100%.
But then what am I going to do
all day?
I mean, dude, you
keep bringing up creating life.
Have you ever, like, been with a
woman?
You know you can, like,
create life with a woman, right?
Like, fucking her?
Hmm, no, I couldn't do that.
I have trouble speaking to
women.
Come on, man, it's not that
hard.
Why don't you just try to
practice first?
Look, what about that
girl right there? She's
beautiful.
Why don't you try talking to
her?
Uh, hello, I am Professor
Psychotic.
I am making an egg with
my DNA in my evil laboratory!
I really thought that would
work.
How? How could that ever work?
That one, fellas, the thing up
there!
Look, Mr. Doug
I know your brother
can be eccentric
but you really should give him a
chance..
He's the only brother you've
got.
No!
Decision's final.
I've given Daniel too
many chances.
I work 14 hours a day to
pay for our house
and he's in his bedroom
doing that egg shit.
I'm done.
Well, maybe if you two had a
nice
sit-down over a cup of tea and a
slice of cake,
you could work things out.
I ought to knock your
block off, you little freak.
What?
Sorry.
It's just that things really
haven't been the same
since the funeral.
Funeral?
Yeah.
Mother's funeral.
Ever since then,
Daniel hasn't been the same.
He blew her inheritance
on that science lab of his.
$80,000.
Right down the tubes.
You know, I'm just
happy Mother's not here to see
it.
Check this out.
Oh my God. I'm sorry.
Pretty fuckin' serious.
Please, Mr. Doug.
Just give your brother
one more chance.
Nope. Like I said, decision is
final.
Oh, oh, careful, careful!
Matthew!
Nooo!
No, no, this can't be happening!
My brother! Nooo!
And yeah, we was having a
little bit of brotherly drama
but I see how little that
matters now.
And I never told him
how much I damn love him.
I freaking love you, man!
Oh my God!
Nooo!
Okay.
I'll go see him.
Yeah, I think that's a good
idea.
Yeah.
Honestly.
Oh, nice to see you. Come in.
Your brother's in the living
room.
Doug, good to see you.
Looking good, Daniel.
All right, Doug.
Why don't you start?
Okay.
Daniel
I'm sorry I kicked you out
and exploded on you.
You're my little baby brother
and I worry sick about you.
Your behavior has been affecting
everyone around you, including
me.
And I just wish the best for
you.
That was very nice, Doug.
Daniel
do you have anything to say?
Come on, man, say something?
Doug, I'm sorry for
all the stuff I did
but it's been hard for me too.
You haven't been the same since
you became addicted to those
painkillers.
I take those pills because of
you, man.
Yeah? Well, maybe
if you weren't high 24-7
you could have been
there for Mother when she died!
I'm gonna kick
your fuckin' ass, man!
Stand up! Get up!
Get off me brother!
Stop!
Stop!
No, stop!
Stop fighting!
Wait.
Hello, huh? Hello, daddies?
Hello, daddies? Hello?
Don't you see?
Look what you did.
You created life.
Hello, what's up? Hello, what's
up?
Yes, I did it.
I really did it.
We need to put aside
whatever differences we may
have
to raise this homunculus.
Yeah.
We need to father th..
Absolutely dude.
I love you.
Love you, too.
I'm sorry, man.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, man.
I love you.
You did it.
You're a fucking genius.
You're a genius.
You're a genius.
Look at you. You're a genius.
Pim, the world we live in
stresses me out, dude.
Really? Why?
Just like never-ending constant
chaos.
No, It never lets up. I hate it.
It's not good.
I mean, you didn't like when
th..
the egg, though? That
was kind of nice, wasn't it?
No, that's what I'm talking
about. It's exactly what I'm
saying.
Oh, you didn't like
that kind of I'm sorry.
What's that? You didn't
do it. It's like your fault.
Yeah, okay.
I'm sorry I tried to take
the ham from earlier on.
No, that's alright.
I'm sorry, I didn't lend
it to you.
You can have it.
You can have a piece.
Get over here, brother.
I love you.
That changed my life.
I'm not crying
because of the mov..
I'm crying because I can't
change my face back to normal.
I don't know what to do.
No. Give it here.
I want that.
You got
Oh, he almost got the ham then.
That was a close one.
Yeah, that was close.
I don't wanna to watch this.
Come on, Allan.
It's actually a really
informat..
Where's the remote?
I want to watch the updates on
the war.
The remote's broken.
All right.
Well, can we turn it down at..
TV's broken too.
So we just have to watch this?
Yep.
Oh, I forgot about that alarm.
Yeah, me too.
We don't really
he..
Thanks for coming, guys.
I just got a
really exciting job for y'all.
Awesome, man.
Yeah, what is it?
You two now have THE..
Jared Fogle!
The subway guy!
As you guys know,
we're not allowed to say no
to anyone who calls us.
So, yeah, you're helping
Jared Fogle smile today.
Pretty cool, right?
Oh, Lord.
I'm just fucking with you.
That was too far, man.
Jared Fogle is a genuine fucking
menace.
Absolutely not.
I did not like that.
Yeah, he's a pedophile.
Oh, come on, guys.
It was funny.
The costume, come on!
No, it wasn't.
No, it..
I did not find that funny.
I have a line with that kind of
stuff.
I don't find that stuff funny.
I -- No.
So, do we have a real job?
Oh, yeah.
I actually got a call fr..
He sounded completely frantic
and was saying something
about an egg dilemma.
Oh, please, I'm serious this
time.
Please believe me.
Fuck off, Dude, that's cheap.
That's just --
that's low hanging fruit.
That one got you.
Yeah, the dog face.
Yeah, the dog got me.
Good job.
You love it.
I do.
I do.
You -- you..
There it is again.
Let's go, Charlie.
What kind of
scientist lives in a tunnel,
dude?
I think we're almost there.
I see a light ahead.
Greetings!
I am Professor Psychotic!
And you are just in time for the
show!
Yes, Yes!
OH, my God!
What the hell, dude!
No need to be alarmed!
Dude, what was that?
What was that thing?
That was a failure is what it
was!
I injected my psychotic DNA
into a chicken egg
and let it marinate for 14 moons
and it was supposed to
create a living homunculus
but instead it died
just like all the others!
So, what do you need us for?
The reason I called you two here
is
because I'm missing
what all mad scientists have.
Assistance!
With your help
together
we can finally succeed in my
lifelong mission of crea..
Then I will finally take over
the world!
Yo.
Uh, yo, what's up?
What's up, man?
Vanessa's over.
We're trying to watch TV.
You're being incredibly loud.
Uh, you just like, my volume,
or--
Yeah, volume.
That's what loud means, doesn't..
Yeah, I have the door closed.
We're on the couch on the
other side of this paper-thin
wall.
We're trying to
watch a nice romantic movie
and all we're hearing
is injecting DNA into an egg.
Yeah, that's what I do. Yeah.
Yeah, that's what you do.
You waste time.
You do stupid shit all the time.
You notice this is what I care
about?
This is what you care about!
Care about something better!
Care about yourself, maybe!
Care about me.
The people who are
keeping you alive!
I care about you.
This is like my job, basically.
Oh, you care about me?
That's so good.
You're only doing
your job.
Get an actual job!
Get one that pays you.
You know, I looked.
It's a hard economy out there.
It's a hard economy?
How about the economy
of my patients?
It's running thin, buddy.
Paper-thin like these walls.
What? Dude, you have your
problems, too.
I got my problem.
Okay, okay.
Get the fuck out!
I--
Get the fuck out!
Go!
Fuck
Fuck
Dude, what do I do?
I didn't have a place to stay.
Fuck
Uh, yeah. Can you just give ..
I can understand you.
I took Spanish in school.
Oh, cool. I --
I guess you now our plan, then.
Um, Yeah.
All right, Professor Psychotic.
This place is great. I love this
place.
All you got to do is
just watch me.
It's very simple.
All right, you wanna grab,
You wanna to grab a guy there,
Okay, you wanna to see that
part right there?
You wanna to twist.
You wanna to pull,
You wanna to grab that part.
You wanna to d..
You wanna dip.
You wanna to throw
the other piec..
Dip it in some of that
and you just-- you enjoy it.
Mm, it's good. Now you try.
I still can't
believe my brother kicked me
out.
The craziest part
is I'm 100% in the right.
No, dude, your
brother kind of has a point,
okay?
This mad scientist
stuff is ruining your life.
You just got kicked
out of your place, dude.
Well, I wouldn't say
it's just the mad scientist
stuff.
It's definitely the mad
scientist--
it's definitely the mad
scientist stuff, 100%.
But then what am I going to do
all day?
I mean, dude, you
keep bringing up creating life.
Have you ever, like, been with a
woman?
You know you can, like,
create life with a woman, right?
Like, fucking her?
Hmm, no, I couldn't do that.
I have trouble speaking to
women.
Come on, man, it's not that
hard.
Why don't you just try to
practice first?
Look, what about that
girl right there? She's
beautiful.
Why don't you try talking to
her?
Uh, hello, I am Professor
Psychotic.
I am making an egg with
my DNA in my evil laboratory!
I really thought that would
work.
How? How could that ever work?
That one, fellas, the thing up
there!
Look, Mr. Doug
I know your brother
can be eccentric
but you really should give him a
chance..
He's the only brother you've
got.
No!
Decision's final.
I've given Daniel too
many chances.
I work 14 hours a day to
pay for our house
and he's in his bedroom
doing that egg shit.
I'm done.
Well, maybe if you two had a
nice
sit-down over a cup of tea and a
slice of cake,
you could work things out.
I ought to knock your
block off, you little freak.
What?
Sorry.
It's just that things really
haven't been the same
since the funeral.
Funeral?
Yeah.
Mother's funeral.
Ever since then,
Daniel hasn't been the same.
He blew her inheritance
on that science lab of his.
$80,000.
Right down the tubes.
You know, I'm just
happy Mother's not here to see
it.
Check this out.
Oh my God. I'm sorry.
Pretty fuckin' serious.
Please, Mr. Doug.
Just give your brother
one more chance.
Nope. Like I said, decision is
final.
Oh, oh, careful, careful!
Matthew!
Nooo!
No, no, this can't be happening!
My brother! Nooo!
And yeah, we was having a
little bit of brotherly drama
but I see how little that
matters now.
And I never told him
how much I damn love him.
I freaking love you, man!
Oh my God!
Nooo!
Okay.
I'll go see him.
Yeah, I think that's a good
idea.
Yeah.
Honestly.
Oh, nice to see you. Come in.
Your brother's in the living
room.
Doug, good to see you.
Looking good, Daniel.
All right, Doug.
Why don't you start?
Okay.
Daniel
I'm sorry I kicked you out
and exploded on you.
You're my little baby brother
and I worry sick about you.
Your behavior has been affecting
everyone around you, including
me.
And I just wish the best for
you.
That was very nice, Doug.
Daniel
do you have anything to say?
Come on, man, say something?
Doug, I'm sorry for
all the stuff I did
but it's been hard for me too.
You haven't been the same since
you became addicted to those
painkillers.
I take those pills because of
you, man.
Yeah? Well, maybe
if you weren't high 24-7
you could have been
there for Mother when she died!
I'm gonna kick
your fuckin' ass, man!
Stand up! Get up!
Get off me brother!
Stop!
Stop!
No, stop!
Stop fighting!
Wait.
Hello, huh? Hello, daddies?
Hello, daddies? Hello?
Don't you see?
Look what you did.
You created life.
Hello, what's up? Hello, what's
up?
Yes, I did it.
I really did it.
We need to put aside
whatever differences we may
have
to raise this homunculus.
Yeah.
We need to father th..
Absolutely dude.
I love you.
Love you, too.
I'm sorry, man.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, man.
I love you.
You did it.
You're a fucking genius.
You're a genius.
You're a genius.
Look at you. You're a genius.
Pim, the world we live in
stresses me out, dude.
Really? Why?
Just like never-ending constant
chaos.
No, It never lets up. I hate it.
It's not good.
I mean, you didn't like when
th..
the egg, though? That
was kind of nice, wasn't it?
No, that's what I'm talking
about. It's exactly what I'm
saying.
Oh, you didn't like
that kind of I'm sorry.
What's that? You didn't
do it. It's like your fault.
Yeah, okay.
I'm sorry I tried to take
the ham from earlier on.
No, that's alright.
I'm sorry, I didn't lend
it to you.
You can have it.
You can have a piece.
Get over here, brother.
I love you.
That changed my life.
I'm not crying
because of the mov..
I'm crying because I can't
change my face back to normal.
I don't know what to do.