St. Denis Medical (2024) s02e05 Episode Script

1
The Highway Hunter serial killer
was taken into custody this morning.
He's been terrorizing Oregonians
for the past five years
You guys hear he had four bodies
just in his kitchen cabinets?
He must have one of
those walk-in pantries.
I love those.
Ugh, that guy is a monster.
Hey, uh, just a quick heads-up.
Today we're going to oh.
Oh, my God, Roger? I know him!
[LAUGHS] He was my patient.
Back when I was an oncologist,
I treated his osteosarcoma.
His last doctor turned him away,
said it was hopeless,
but guess who brought him
back from stage IV? Ya girl.
[LAUGHS]
So what's he on the news for?
Did he save a kid from
a well or something?
Amongst his victims, two sisters,
a mother of three, and a
beloved Catholic priest,
all tortured and killed.
Now back to you in the studio, Katie.
Mm.
Uh
I forgot why I came in here.
Is today Thursday?
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
♪
Well, Kyle, your lab
work and blood sugars
came back unremarkable.
What did you say you were
doing when you collapsed?
I was at a frolf game. Frisbee golf.
You were playing Frisbee and golf?
Frolf, yeah. And I was just watching.
It's my roommate's team.
You passed out while
you were just watching?
Must be pretty exciting.
- It isn't.
- It's not.
OK. We'll take it easy
today. Stay hydrated.
And Matt will make
sure you are discharged.
Yeah. Your roommate's here.
He said he was gonna
drive you home. Whoa.
Hey, uh, Ron?
Hey, buddy. You're OK.
You're OK. Is he OK?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're fine.
- Hi.
- You left us for a minute.
- What's up?
- Hey, Bruce.
Can you walk Mr. Casey
in 104 through his meds?
Hang on, I'm having ChatGP
write me some "yo mama" jokes.
- They are ruthless.
- Cool.
Well, you know, we can't send him home
- till you get in there, so
- Yeah.
I'm getting the jokes for Mr. Casey.
What are you doing?
Oh, you know, just making things nice.
Joyce hired my old charge nurse,
Pam, to come in and help out
while April's on maternity.
She basically was, like,
my mentor, you know?
She taught me everything I know.
Oh. Isn't she, like, super spicy?
Um, no, not super spicy.
She's a little spicy, like
you know, like a chipotle mayo.
Keith. Hey, Keith.
Uh, yo mama is so fat
My mom passed away in July.
Oh, sorry.
OK.
- Uh, yo mama was so fat
- Bruce.
I mean, the last time Pam saw me,
I was this nervous girl who
didn't know what she was doing.
What's she gonna say when she sees me
running this whole department?
Good job? I'm proud of you?
I knew you could do it?
I mean, there's lots of options.
I'm impressed with how far you've come.
That's another one.
Oh, get a room, you two.
Huh?
Oh, that's just what you say
when two people are flirting.
- We weren't even talking.
- Mm, well. [CHUCKLES]
Plus, you know I'm gay, right?
Know it, love it.
- Uh, did forget, though, so.
- [PHONE CHIMES]
Oh, news alert.
Stevie Wonder, age 75,
legendary singer-songwriter
[SIGHS]
Talks favorite chili recipe.
OK, they should not scare us like that.
I thought he died.
Well, that is gonna be a horrible day,
right, when Stevie dies?
Ugh.
That will be just awful, right?
Huh.
Right, Ron?
Uh not really.
Ron Leonard, everybody.
You say the sky is blue, he says red.
- You say up, he says down.
- Not true.
Sky is blue, up is up,
and I really won't care
if Stevie Wonder dies.
- OK, well, I think you will.
- I won't.
- I think you will.
- I won't.
- You will.
- I won't.
I know it's not PC to say,
but celebrities are better than us, OK?
They are put on a pedestal for a reason.
So if Stevie doesn't get
a big outpouring of grief,
where does that leave the rest of us?
Where does that leave the normies?
This woman loves to make
things about herself.
Well, I'm not gonna indulge it.
Look at these Facebook posts.
"RIP, David Lynch."
"Gone too soon, Alex Trebek."
"This one hurts.
I lost a part of my soul today."
This is from when Notre
Dame caught on fire.
Hey, Brandon, the Pyxis
machine is jammed again.
Will you take a look at it for me?
I think Pyxis is French
for "pain in my ass".
Pam! Hey!
Pam's here. Hi.
How are you? Oh.
Well, never retire. It's boring.
People look at you funny when you try
to give them a sponge bath.
Oh, little Alex. Charge nurse.
- Yeah.
- You're struggling, huh?
Struggling? No.
I mean, the hospital is
struggling. When isn't it, though?
No, I'm, uh, steering
this old boat best I can.
You know? [IMITATES HORN]
- Alex, please don't make that noise.
- Yeah.
Also, the guy in 104 is still
waiting on his meds consult.
Bruce, you haven't seen Mr. Casey yet?
- Come on, man.
- One sec.
There's this rat that's
learned how to do laundry.
- It's preposterous.
- Oh, can I see?
- I love that stuff.
- Oh, yeah. Me, too.
He's about to fluff and fold.
[LAUGHS]
Yeah, hey.
Your charge nurse just gave
you an assignment, slowpoke.
What the hell?
OK, first of all [CLEARS THROAT]
- it's Dr. Bruce.
- Yeah, Bruce.
- Bruce the Moose.
- No.
Big, dumb, and slow.
Get to work, Moose.
Thank you, Moose.
[CHUCKLING]
What are you laughing at?
- The moose thing.
- Pfft.
Well, it looks to me like cataplexy,
which is a type of narcolepsy.
Basically, it's when someone
experiences an intense emotion,
your muscles shut down,
and you could collapse.
Oh, good, so as long as I never feel
- an emotion again, I'll be fine.
- Well, not every emotion.
I mean, everybody has their trigger.
Anyway, we're referring
you to a specialist,
and they'll help you figure it out.
How soon can I get seen?
They said, like, six weeks.
So I'm just a ticking
time bomb till then.
OK.
So we're probably
thinking the same thing.
We have to give Kyle a
jumpstart on identifying
- his emotional triggers.
- Pfft.
That's not our job, not even a little.
But come on. It might be fun.
- I disagree.
- Come on.
If we don't, who else will?
Uh, the specialist in six weeks?
Come on. It
[SIGHS] It's emergency medicine, Matt.
We stabilize and move on.
Stop being such a try-hard.
What's a try-hard?
You know, like, oh, look at me.
I do whatever it takes to be
good at my job and help people.
Yeah, exactly.
No, it's bad and embarrassing.
Whatever. I'm going on break.
That was a good impression
of my brain, though.
The new EHR system is just
as frustrating as the old one,
so that's pretty much the same.
Um oh, I did come up with
this whole color coding system
to simplify things that people seem
- to really, really like, so
- Uh-huh.
Yeah, everything's, uh,
pretty much in order,
don't you think?
What's up with J.Lo over there?
You let your nurses wear earrings?
Uh, no. I've
I've been very clear about this.
Hey, Holly, what did we
say about the jewelry?
Oh. Sorry, I forgot.
OK, let's not make a habit of it, yeah?
This is why I need a Pam on my team.
Hey, Holly. Holly, sweetie.
- Ow!
- OK.
Now, imagine that times 1,000.
Some drugged up maniac
gets a hold of them
and turns your earlobes
into meat ribbons.
OK.
Sorry.
I mean, I hate to say it, but Holly's
not gonna wear earrings again.
And Bruce did help that patient.
So, you know, Pam's two for two.
It's not like she hit her.
She just gave her a
little flick, just like
ow. Oh, my God, that really hurts.
OK, but I don't think she
did it like that, you know.
And also, I'm fine now, so
Oh, Sherise, could we
get some Chux pads in 12?
- Yeah.
- Great.
Anything for the Moose.
[ALL CHUCKLING]
[LAUGHS]
Yeah, that's great.
That's great, though not
not exactly sure that nickname
- has caught on, so
- Moose.
Oh. [LAUGHS]
We're all laughing
me the most. You know.
Hey, Sherise, think we could get
those Chux pads today,
you big [BLEEP] moose?
[CHUCKLES]
- Whoa, dude.
- Oh.
- Sensitive Moose.
- Bruce, that's seriously not cool.
Oh, but Mad Moose and and Tall Moose.
Yeah, I guess if everyone's a moose,
then really, no one is.
Oh, well. Yep, that
moose thing ran its course.
We had fun, me the most.
What, the moose thing?
Doesn't bother me.
It's a cool animal nickname.
I'm actually in pretty good
company when you think about it.
Bear Grylls, Wolf Blitzer,
uh, Larry Bird, Seal.
Aren't those their real names?
Aren't you going through
a divorce right now, Chris?
Isn't there somewhere you need to be?
Cat Stevens. That's another one.
You wouldn't get any more songs.
Huh?
If Stevie dies, I'm just saying,
you wouldn't get any more of his songs.
That would be a pretty big loss, right?
Hmm, so you're into
the new stuff, are you?
- Uh-huh, yep.
- Great.
Why don't you name a song
from the last 20 years?
- What's up?
- Go ahead. Name a song.
Uh, "Signed, Sealed, Delivered."
1970. Go on.
- Isn't Isn't
- "Isn't She Lovely?"
- Yes.
- 1976.
I like that new one, "Sunshine Glory."
Yes! Thank you.
- I made that up.
- Oh.
Val, OK, we're talking about
musical icons dying here.
All right? It's pretty heavy.
I don't know. Remember when Prince died?
They played his songs
everywhere for a week.
- It was kind of great.
- I didn't think about that.
I'm gonna change my stance on this.
Now I'm pretty excited
for Stevie Wonder to die
because it's gonna be
a great week in radio.
He's blind! How can you say that?
Oh, my God!
So I was thinking we could use this
to sort of test out which
emotions trigger you.
OK, that'd be amazing.
How would you do that?
I don't know. I guess I could
scare you!
Yeah, OK. That wasn't scary, but
All right. No worries.
We will figure out something.
Ah!
Sometimes Matt acts
like he can somehow solve
all of our patients' problems.
That's not how our job works, dude.
Yeah, it seems like Kyle appreciates
what he's doing, but
[LAUGHTER]
No, that's not how it works, right?
Fear is gonna be a tricky one.
If you really wanna scare him,
you should show him his STD results.
What? What do you mean?
- What's wrong?
- OK. It's not fear.
- Mark it off, Matty.
- Oh, thank God.
Are you gonna help?
It seems like you could use it.
You're blocking a means of egress, Val.
- That's a safety violation.
- Hi, Pam.
So Pam crawled out of
the devil's butthole
and made her way back
here. That's great.
Come on.
Pam's just a you know,
a strong cup of coffee.
Please. You used to hate her.
What? I never hated her.
I maybe occasionally
complained about her.
She was so tough on
you, I used to find you
crying in the on-call room.
She was tough on me
because she saw potential.
She's like one of those
coaches from a sports movie
where the team thinks that they're mean,
and then they're like,
whoa, there's a method here,
and now we're so good at sports.
[IMITATES BUZZER]
Stupid! Try again.
So inspiring.
The whole flight to Korea,
I just thought about my grandma,
my halmeoni, what I
wanted to say to her,
how much she meant to me.
But when I landed, I got the call.
She was gone.
And I never got to say goodbye.
That's horrible.
So it's not sadness.
What? I was so invested.
- I thought that was real.
- It was real.
That happened. What's next on the list?
But your halmeoni.
- People forget.
- Thank you. OK.
- Keith, what's wrong?
- I'm fine.
I just got something in my eyes
and and allergies
and Pam yelled at me.
It was in front of everyone.
It was my fault. I messed up.
What happened?
She asked me to restock
the trauma cabinet
with 3-0 chromic gut sutures,
but I accidentally did
2-0 chromic gut sutures.
And then she asked if I was trying
to sabotage the hospital,
or was I just stupid?
And I said neither.
And she said that wasn't an option.
So I said, if I have to choose,
I guess I'm stupid.
And she said, louder.
And so I said, I'm stupid.
And she said, even louder.
So I said, I am stupid!
I tried to explain that she's
just a strong cup of coffee.
[SIGHS]
[CLEARS THROAT] Whoa, whoa.
OK, agile cheetah coming through.
Uh-oh, watch out.
Yep, old Cheetah Schweitz.
Not old, you know. Virile.
- You are a chatty Cathy, aren't you?
- Uh-uh.
Just loving the sound of
your own voice, huh, Cath?
What? No. No, no, no. Not Cath.
I'm Moose, Bruce the Moose. Lock it in.
I'm good with Moose.
I'm good with Moose.
It's OK.
Hey, Pam. Can I, um
- oh, what are you doing?
- Oh, it's my fault.
I told Jessica to fold the linens,
but I forgot to say, don't do it
like a goddamn moron.
Um, listen, speaking of Jessica
all the nurses, really
you know, I try to
focus on coaching them
in a constructive way to
build up their confidence.
Yeah, right. Oh, Alex,
you are a good nurse.
- Oh. Thank you.
- You could be a good boss, too,
if you stopped trying
to get elected prom queen
and earn their respect.
I don't I mean, I think
people here respect me.
- That's not the
- Could you finish these?
Toilet's calling my name, and at my age,
you learn to listen. Thanks.
- Hey. [SIGHS]
- Hey.
[EXHALES]
That Pam [CHUCKLES]
She's a real firecracker, huh?
Yeah. They don't they don't
make them like that anymore.
- Nope. They sure don't.
- Yeah.
Yeah. You know, she
can be, um, a little
- She [BLEEP] sucks!
- She sucks!
- Oh, my God.
- She's cruel.
I forgot how cruel she was.
She's making everybody miserable.
Yeah, how about I give her a nickname?
- See how she likes it?
- Yeah.
- Miss Fart?
- Oh.
I don't know. Has she ever farted?
- Oh, I am sure she's farted.
- Right?
- She'd have had to.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, she's sick.
- Pam is awful.
OK? Everyone hates her.
It's because she sucks.
- Yes!
- Hey, Pam, they're asking for you in 2.
Hey, I got you water.
It's from the sink like you like.
I don't deserve it.
Stop beating yourself up. We tried.
It's not our job to solve
everyone's problems, OK?
[SIGHS] We were so close.
If it makes you feel any better,
we really weren't.
Jeff? You're still here?
Yeah, bro. I'm not just
gonna leave you here.
- Oh! I got him!
- Oh! Oh!
I got him! Oh, no, I don't.
No, I don't. I'm so sorry. Ugh!
Mm!
Yeah, sing it, Stevie. Oh.
I cannot watch this woman dance anymore.
Can you please just say you'll be sad?
Nope. Can't do it.
Come on. You know you're
gonna be a little sad when he dies.
Listen, when somebody acts all sad
because of a celebrity's death,
that is just a bid for attention.
It's really more about their
fear of their own mortality,
watching the things they love fade away,
that means they're next
on the chopping block.
And I don't hide my fear of death
in social performance, OK?
Damn. You convinced me.
I don't care if he dies either.
Come on! [SIGHS]
Mystery solved. I finally
figured out what's triggering you.
You're gay!
They didn't have a face for gay,
which is pretty messed up, I thought.
Yeah, I know I'm gay.
- I've known since I was 10.
- Oh.
No, Matt, the trigger is Jeff.
- He has feelings for him.
- OK.
Um, well, I still feel like
they should have a gay emoji.
- Ally.
- I was hoping it wasn't that.
We're roommates and friends,
and I don't wanna make it weird.
Right, um, well, I don't
know how to help you now.
Um
Listen, what do you
do when you leave here
isn't our business.
But you got to at least try.
Tell him how you feel.
If you hold it in,
things always get weird.
Yeah. She's right.
It's actually like my
grandpa always used to say.
The only way out is through.
And he was talking about an
eight-year prison sentence,
but I think it also applies to life.
Yeah.
Maybe I'll talk to him.
Thanks.
What did your grandpa do?
I'm not gonna tell you
that because I am ashamed.
Oh, my God, this is so bad.
It's possible maybe she didn't hear us.
- You know, wait.
- Really?
Stay here. Listen.
Like, can you can you hear
me from all the way back here?
- I think you're even louder!
- What?
- She's gonna kill me.
- You?
Now I'm gonna have three nicknames!
I gotta make a call.
Do I want to know?
Um, yeah,
we we might have said some
less than flattering things
about Pam and then realized that
she was standing right there.
What?
OK, well, then who cares?
Talking smack about each other
is like 95% of what we do here.
You wouldn't care if your boss heard
you complaining about her?
- Your boss?
- Oh.
She's not the boss anymore, Alex.
- You are.
- Right.
- She's just some lady.
- I know that. I just
I still want to impress her.
OK? I
I'm a good nurse because of her.
When my ex and I got
married, we got this puppy.
Pissed everywhere. Chewed on everything.
So I got this shock collar,
and I told her to use it on the dog.
So, like, a year later,
this dog is fantastic.
And I said, man, that
shock collar really worked.
And she said, oh, I never
used the shock collar.
He was just a great dog.
- You are the dog.
- I get it. I'm the dog.
You know, it felt good helping that kid.
Yeah, it did.
I wonder what's gonna happen
with this roommate, though.
I kind of feel like I need closure.
That's what sucks about this job.
The patients never follow up
with us about their sex lives.
But don't worry, I have a fake Insta,
Rebecca von Bubblegum.
We shall stalk.
- So you think they have a chance?
- Maybe.
Sometimes opposites attract, I guess.
- I'm gonna round.
- Yeah. Yeah, for sure.
It's a question of liability.
I need to know that, as a doctor,
death is not the
optimal outcome for you.
So I have made a list of
famous people, special people.
And if you can tell me
that you truly do not care
about any of their deaths,
I will never bring this up again.
OK, sure. I'll take a look at your list.
[CLEARS THROAT]
Don't care, wouldn't care.
Don't know him, don't know him.
I honestly thought he was already dead.
- Is this helping?
- OK, you know what?
Death doesn't move the needle for you.
So that is just
- that's fine.
- Oh.
I didn't see this last name on the list.
That would be a bummer.
At first I was confused.
Paul Reiser? So random.
But no.
Get a load of this. Zoom in.
What's that say? What's that say?
[CHUCKLES]
Oh, Ron seems cold
because he doesn't care
about celebs, but he does care
about the people in his life,
and Ron the grump cares about me.
I met Paul Reiser in 1999 on a cruise.
We were standing in a buffet line.
And he turned me on to Western omelets.
[CHUCKLES]
So, yeah, I will be sad when he dies.
Love that guy.
- Pam, we need to talk.
- Do we?
Yes, I I think that since
the last time you were here,
- when you were in charge
- Uh-huh.
- The culture
- Ah, thanks.
I was just coming to clean this up.
- Crazy day.
- Yeah.
That's OK, Matt. Just
give us a second, OK?
- Oh, OK. Yeah.
- There you go.
Live your life, Matt. We
like cleaning up your messes.
Oh, sorry. Um,
it's just there was this whole
mystery and and and
And and and
where's your chocolate?
- What?
- Doesn't Forrest Gump give out
chocolate before he launches
into some long, boring story that
- nobody gives a [BLEEP] about?
- Lay off him, Pam!
Excuse me. You don't
talk to me like that.
Actually, I'm the charge nurse,
which means that I'm in charge, not you.
You cannot talk to people like that.
- Also, it doesn't work.
- It worked on you.
No, I'm a good nurse in spite of you.
And if I'm a good boss, it's because
you taught me what not to do.
You know what, Pam?
I don't want you around my nurses.
You're done here.
Fine. [BREATHES IN]
I'll get my stuff.
You know, you turned
out to be a real turd.
And by the way, I heard
everything you said about me.
I don't care.
Farewell, Madam Fart.
[SNIFFS]
Roasted.
Yeah, you know, you have
to play a lot of roles
when you're a boss.
Sometimes you're a teacher.
Sometimes you're a
therapist or a cheerleader.
And sometimes you're just a friend.
You know, do I make mistakes?
Yes, absolutely. But at
the end of the day, I
Alex. Sorry to interrupt.
- It's OK.
- I got your favorite drink.
Oh. Why? What for?
Just a thank you for
looking out for the nurses.
- It means a lot.
- Thank you, Holly.
That's really sweet.
Guess I was looking for approval
in the wrong place this whole time.
Hm.
That's not my drink.
Yeah, Pam had a point. I
think Holly could do better.
[SIGHS]
[BELL CLANGS]