The Bad Guys: Breaking In (2025) s02e05 Episode Script

1
[heist music playing]
D.B., is that you?
[chuckling] Hey, kiddo.
You're alive?
Afraid so, kiddo.
Your mentor has returned.
Happy to see me?
[D.B. grunts]
[Wolf grunts]
[Wolf grunts]
I mourned for you!
How could you do that to me?
Well, you know how it is.
You get into one jam too many
and, suddenly,
the only way out
is to fake your own death. [laughs]
- I knew you'd understand.
- [Snake] Wow.
D.B. Cougar in the flesh.
He got past
all my lair security protocols.
He's a crime legend.
Or a ghost.
Hey, kudos to you and your team
for cracking
the near-impossible heist code
to unlock my stash house.
Stash house?
So much to explain, and I will.
But first,
I really need my gold bullion back.
- Where's the rest?
- Huh?
- What?
- Uh…
Rest…?
Zounds!
You're saying
the gold was hidden here the whole time?
I checked my hiding spot
and all I could find were a few bars.
Where did you move the rest?
[Shark whistling cheery melody]
[squeaky fart]
Okay, I admit it! I found the hidden gold!
[whistling cheery melody]
[beeping]
[gasps]
And I may have spent some.
You little thief! How dare you steal
the gold I was stealing!
[Snake] I kept getting tastes
of something delicious.
Deliciously valuable.
[gasps]
[cackles, hisses]
I spent some of it too.
By "some," I mean a whole lot.
Yeah, I also may have borrowed some,
searching for a new favorite treat,
since Snake refused
to share his push pops.
Dura-Chew Industrial-Strength Bubble Gum.
A lifetime supply.
Gum? [scoffs] Really?
At least I bought some legit stuff.
A few computer graphic cards, an island…
Uh, nothing!
Guys! That gold could have made us famous.
No one thought to tell the team?
Or at least me, the leader of the team?
We were all spending the gold and didn't
notice how low the supply was getting.
[in unison] Classic us.
Wait, wait, wait. This is all that's left?
You all spent $50 billion worth of gold
and didn't know it?
[heist music playing]
[engine revving]
[hisses]
[tires screeching]
That's so much money.
I can't believe
your crew spent all my loot!
I know.
I mean, sure, while The Bad Guys
might have been a little wasteful,
you did will us that gold.
It was rightfully ours.
We thought you were dead.
Oh, did you?
[growling]
You're right, Wolf. I should have told you
about the fake-death scheme.
I betrayed your trust. That's not cool.
Won't happen again. Scamp's honor.
Why didn't you just ask us for the gold
if you wanted it?
Yeah. Why the con with my ma?
That crossed a line, pal.
[chuckling] Well,
the whole point of faking your death
is so no one knows you're alive.
I couldn't exactly
come crawling back to life
and ask you to kindly return
my hard-heisted bullion.
But you're my mentor.
You should have trusted me.
Oh, you know the first rule
of being a crook, kiddo.
"Trust no one." Have I taught you nothing?
I'm the most trustworthy schoolboy.
Is it just me, or is Wolf going
full adolescent around his mentor?
Big teen energy.
Hey, how do we know
you didn't actually die,
and you're really here to haunt us
with your unfinished business?
Hmm, ghost guy? Hmm?
I promise I'm not a ghost.
- Exactly what a ghost would say.
- Like your promises mean anything.
Look, my plan was to simply sneak in
and steal my gold back
after you heisted your way in.
But the thing is, you all are, like,
always around.
[vacuum whirring]
[whimpers]
[Snake] You gotta untie me right now!
I need to steal some dessert!
Forget this no-crime contest.
[grunts]
Thief bad!
Since you apparently never leave the lair,
you do do heists, right?
I had to conspire
with my old frenemy, Serpentina.
I promised her a cut of the gold
if she kept you out of the lair for a day.
That snake!
FYI, we do plenty of heists.
Plenty!
You'd know how awesome we all were
if you hadn't abandoned me
all those years ago
and then faked your own death.
- Not that I care.
- He cares.
Hey, crazy idea.
We do a new heist, together.
It would be like doing crime with a ghost.
Like that, or exactly that?
Come on. Look how cool I'm being
after you spent all my money.
I repeat, you willed it to us.
It wasn't yours anymore.
I left it to you because I trusted you.
And look how that turned out.
But I'm willing to give you
a second chance.
Give us a second chance?
Wait. Did we do something wrong?
I'm confused.
- I'm starting to feel like we did.
- No! We're not doing a heist with you.
Get out of my room! I mean, lair. [yells]
Fine. I mean, I was just trying to help
you all out, since you spent my money.
Ah, looks like
I'm faking my own death again.
You should too, 'cause I owed that gold
to some dangerous crooks.
- You're on the hook for it too.
- [in unison] What?
The first step to faking your own death?
Do not visit your own funeral.
Ooh, this guy's good.
We're not faking our own death.
We don't run away like you.
Please explain
how we're on the hook for your problems.
I have plenty of my own to work through.
Yeah. I feel like maybe I need to chew on
something other than this new bubble gum.
How shall I explain?
Ah, yes.
It all started years ago.
A dramatic monologue?
It's right up my alley.
That gold is from a job I pulled
with some old partners.
Sure, I got famous
as a solo crook from it…
Big-time crook D.B. Cougar has just stolen
the motherlode of gold bullion,
valued at $50 billion.
…but only because I double-crossed my crew
and kept it all to myself.
They were total jerks.
From then on, I lived a life on the run.
That's why I disappeared on you
as a young pup, Wolf. To protect you.
I even hid the gold behind a code
that I myself didn't know,
so that no one could make me give it up.
So the will was just a way for you
to access the stash house
without us, or anyone else,
knowing you were actually alive?
Exactly.
Still got that sharp brain, I see.
You used us.
I included you.
Anyway, after years,
my ex-crew tracked me down
and I had to fake my own death.
But they caught on to the ruse.
- How?
- I visited my own funeral.
- That's rule number one.
- Please stop interrupting the performance!
Continue, D.B.
My ex-crew wants their cut of the gold
they think is heistfully theirs,
so they'll naturally be after you as well.
I don't know. Your ex-crew,
are they that big of a deal?
- The Bad Guys can put up quite a fight.
- Yeah, let us at 'em!
[panting, groans]
I thought the same thing.
Until…
They took your tail?
But I'm all tail!
My ponytail's my whole life, man!
I don't have a tail. What would they take?
[gasps] Not my spinnerets!
We're all in grave, grave danger.
[door buzzer]
[gasping]
Oh, that's nice.
[gasps, screams]
[screaming]
I'm calling the snake cemetery.
Time to fake like I shedded my last skin.
Or we pull off a daring heist
of equal or greater value to the gold.
Wolf, you're right.
We shouldn't run from this.
And we don't have to.
We do a heist,
we walk away with our lives and our tails.
This will all be a funny story
we laugh about someday.
[laughs boisterously] Huh?
[laughter]
- [laughter trails off]
- [Wolf scoffs]
Yeah, right! Laughter!
How could we trust you after all the lies,
backstabbing and fraud
you drag along with you, huh?
You should trust me
because of all the lying
and the backstabbing
and the fraud-y stuff I've done.
I have learned my lesson the hard way.
I promise. I'm above board now. Truly.
Plus, what other option do you have?
Fifty billion's a lot of money.
Where would we find something
that valuable so quickly?
The AeroVault.
[in unison] The AeroVault?
[D.B.] The AeroVault is the most secure,
valuable criminal bank in existence.
It flies around the globe 24/7
on autopilot.
Only the world's most elite crooks
get to use it.
And, oh, yeah,
no one has even come close to robbing it.
What makes it difficult
isn't just getting up to the planes
and getting in without detection.
It's that two of the planes are decoys.
And we won't have time to waste
searching from one to the other.
I know for a fact
that there's an uber-valuable container
of liquid platinum aboard the AeroVault
worth 50 billion.
We get that,
we pay off the crooks after us,
and boom, problem solved!
No way we can pull that off.
Also, due to some recent experiences,
I don't like being off the ground much.
Even if we tried, at that altitude,
my hacking satellites would struggle
to hold a signal strong enough
to override the autopilots.
What if we got you close enough
to run a rootkit on the autopilot OPSEC?
[scoffs]
Actually, that could work.
You know hacking?
Well, I'm… I'm a novice
compared to a techspert like you.
Can barely tell a firewall
from a proxy server. [chuckling] I mean…
[laughs] Yeah, those are different.
Listen, I've been in this game
a long time,
and I've rarely encountered
such an elite crew.
I believe in you, in us.
Now, the AeroVault will only be
over our airspace for a moment today.
We need to act.
But I need you all, all in.
Discuss.
I'll be in the bathroom, seeing if I could
grow a ponytail as slick as this guy.
We should listen
to the charming ghost and do it.
D.B. makes some good points.
We are elite criminals.
Not to mention,
robbing the AeroVault would be legendary.
I'm not saying yes because of him.
I just want to rob something
that's never been robbed.
Hacking three autopilots simultaneously
is on my bucket list.
- Shark?
- Ooh, it smells good in here.
- What's D.B.'s cologne? Cardamom?
- [Wolf] Dude.
Our backs are against the wall,
our tails remain on our bodies. Thoughts?
[jetpacks whooshing]
[jetpack sputters]
You didn't buy these
from a discount jetpack store, did you?
These are top-notch.
The guy I got them from told me they work
and have no known defects,
which is weird in hindsight.
Yeah, I don't love this setup.
Webs, if you're gonna keep fussing,
I will turn this jetpack around.
Tallyho! There they are.
[heist music playing]
Each of these satellites
need to be attached
before I can override the autopilot
and slow the planes down so we can board.
My advice? Avoid the propellers.
Let's do this!
[D.B. whooping]
[Piranha whooping]
[jetpack sputtering]
Whoa!
[screams]
Whoa! Whoa!
Ah! They detected us. This won't be easy.
Easy's my middle name! Whoo!
[satellite beeps]
[satellite beeps]
[Webs] Two down, one to go.
Wolf, you're up.
[Wolf screams]
Come on, kiddo.
It's just a lightning-fast,
barrel-rolling airplane.
[satellite beeps]
- Satellites attached.
- [D.B.] I knew you could do it. Nice work.
Come on. Ah, come on!
[laptop beeps]
Autopilot overridden. Clear to board.
Anyone finds the loot plane,
holler on comms.
Here.
[groans] I am glad
to get out of that thing.
Though something about it was comforting.
Speaking of tight fits…
[keypad beeps]
[keyboard clacking]
You, me, a locked door. Takes me back.
You don't think we should try…?
Oh, I haven't done The Door Downer since…
since you left. You think it still works?
Only one way to find out.
[crackling]
[door creaking]
[laughter]
Wow! Every time.
Look, I-I know this isn't the best time,
but I am sorry
me leaving felt like I abandoned you.
I should have said goodbye, at least.
But look at you.
You've become an amazing crook.
I'm proud of you.
[sighs] To be honest,
I've felt really off my game lately.
Making it as upstarts was easier,
since no one had expectations.
Now, The Bad Guys, people know us.
The fuzz, the guards, other crooks.
I've been so focused on pushing us
to get to that next level of badness
that I've been second-guessing
all my decisions as leader.
I guess that's why we haven't been
pulling many heists lately.
You're doing great, kiddo.
I mean, we're robbing the AeroVault.
Just keep moving forward,
and always watch out for number one.
That's you.
Thanks. [sighs]
You know, it feels really good
to get this off my chest.
I never want to burden the team
with this stuff.
I could always talk to you.
Anytime, kiddo.
Are you ready to loot this thing?
[lock mechanism rumbling]
No loot. It's a decoy plane.
Even so, kind of weird
they wouldn't have any security measures.
[gasping]
Plane lasers! [grunts]
Owie!
- [whimpers]
- Uh, we got a little problem here.
Uh, you ain't the only one.
Can't you disable these things?
Of course I can. But that would mean
turning off the autopilot override.
Uh, sort of seems worth it.
This is it.
The crème de la crème of criminal booty.
The Crimson Paw's lockbox.
Never thought I'd heist the AeroVault.
Ah. Bingo!
Huh. For being worth 50 billion,
I thought it would be heavier.
I'll let the team know.
Guys, the lobster's in the tr…
Huh. My comms are gone.
Mine too. Weird.
Uh, must have fallen off
during the flight in. [chuckles]
Well, doesn't matter, since we're about to
fly off into the sunset, like we planned.
With the rest of the team, right?
Uh, no. You wanted to leave them behind.
Start a new chapter
in the Wolf and D.B. Cougar epic.
- Wait. What?
- You've been howling it from the rooftops.
"I don't know how to lead my team.
I'm lost. I want to abandon my team."
So, I did what you asked
and rerouted their planes
to crash-land in the ocean,
so they don't come for our loot.
All right, first of all,
I do not sound like that.
Did you say "crash-land in the ocean"?
Oh, they'll be fine.
They're sea creatures.
The octopus, the eel.
That's a spider and a snake, man!
[plane rumbling]
Whoa!
[keyboard clacking]
[sighs] I've disabled the lasers,
but I can't get back
into the autopilot override.
We're aimed right at the ocean!
[laptop beeping]
Someone ran a rootkit on the OPSEC.
Wait. D.B.?
Wolf, you there?
Anybody getting through to them?
Wolf? Wolfie? Wolf? Wolf? Wolf?
Wolf, Wolf, Wolf? No.
- Figures a ghost would double-cross us!
- He's not a ghost.
He's a no-good backstabber
that's very much alive.
Which we won't be for long!
[plane rumbling]
Wait. How did you even hack their planes?
You never knew tech stuff.
Turns out the discount jetpack store
sells hacking apps too.
Well, undo it!
You want it? Come get it.
[D.B. grunts]
Never could pickpocket
your old mentor, could you?
This isn't some kind of game. Give it!
[plane rumbling]
[yelling]
Wait. Your tail.
It, uh… It… Well, it…
It must have grown back.
Another lie.
You sent the scissors, didn't you?
And stole my comms.
Didn't you? Didn't you?
All right, fine. I made up the story
of betraying my former crew.
I never had a crew.
Truth is, I got into some trouble,
faked my own death to get out,
and when I came to collect the gold
I planned on living out my days on,
I learned you guys spent it all.
And I'm not even mad.
That's the criminal life, baby.
That means you didn't abandon me
because you wanted to protect me.
You abandoned me just because.
But now we're back together.
Our partnership could go down as
one of the best in criminal history.
Heistory. Missed it. [groans]
Think about it, Wolf.
Your team did spend the bullion
without telling you.
The Wolf and the Cougar, at it again.
See? That's the spirit.
Maybe one of these days, I'll teach you
some new pickpocketing tricks. [chuckles]
[splutters] Potato?
Nice.
Come on. How do I undo the autopilot?
Come on. Come on!
Sorry, kiddo. It's you and me now.
[grunts] No!
[screaming]
[jetpack sputtering]
You ready?
[jetpacks sputtering]
Every strap broke?
No more buying cheap jetpacks
off the street!
Looks like
we just punched a one-way ticket.
Look, it's Wolf!
Come on, kiddo.
Don't turn your back on me.
- Where's your loyalty?
- Loyalty?
You don't know a thing about loyalty.
You've turned your back
on anyone and everyone.
But I trust my crew and they trust me,
and I'm gonna save them.
Good news and bad news.
The good news, D.B.'s a huge liar,
there's nobody's after us,
and we're all gonna keep our tails.
The bad news,
D.B.'s a huge liar, tried to betray us,
and ran off with the platinum.
Tried to get me to come with him,
but no way.
After we go down, I'm coming back hard
as a little ghost for that goon.
Um… Think we can all share this jetpack?
Seems pretty sturdy.
[jetpack whooshing]
I looked everywhere. No parachutes.
[screams] What are we gonna do?
What are we gonna do?
I know I'm a shark,
but I'm not a very strong swimmer.
I'll think of something. I always…
[somber organ music playing]
I wish it didn't turn out this way.
Rest in pieces.
[Wolf] Sorry to break
rule number one, but…
You're alive? But how?
I always think of something.
- You got any more industrial-strength gum?
- Duh! Kind of a weird time to ask, though.
I need you to chew
like you've never chewed before.
You're gonna float us out of here.
A bubble big enough
to hold all of us? I can't.
Then we'll all need to chew. Bubblegum me!
This is… This is actually pretty good.
It's so chewy.
Oh. Mm. Is that cardamom?
My jaw hurts!
Honestly, pretty impressive.
I suppose you're going to pounce on me
and tear me to shreds
until I give up
where I stashed the platinum?
[Wolf snarls]
Nah. As much as we'd like to, we think
you being you is punishment enough.
The lies, the backstabbing.
No matter where you go,
you'll always be looking
over your shoulder, alone.
Turns out, not being like you
is the greatest lesson you taught me.
Come on, guys.
[engine starts]
[tires squealing]
[scoffs] What does Wolf know.
I don't need to always
look over my shoulder. I…
[engine revving]
[door opens]
[screams]
Hey! [grunts]
[engine revving]