The Troop (2009) s02e05 Episode Script

[Bell ringing]
Mr. Stockley I heard
we're already looking
for a replacement for Kirby?
It's just temporary.
But regulations require that
we have three functioning
Troop members at all times.
And we don't know when
Kirby's coming back:
he's stuck in
his time machine.
That's unbelievable!
Where in time is he stuck?
Now.
The machine doesn't work,
but he's got himself jammed
in there pretty solid.
The good news is:
There's a food hole
and I told him he's
in the Middle Ages
to keep him calm.
It's gonna take awhile
to find someone
who can cut through titanium.
So, who's the temp?
We've tested every student
in the area
and we have our results.
But this can't be right.
Mr. Stockley, this is how
we've selected Troop members
for centuries.
It's never been wrong yet.
Troop Member Etienne
reporting for duty.
Check it again.
Wow.
That half-cab you pulled
over those stairs.
That was sick.
I've never hung with
a girl who could skate,
let alone pull
those kind of tricks.
Thanks.
Your trick was pretty sick,
too.
[laughs]
You mean the falling
into the fountain trick?
It's supposed to go
like that.
Yeah, how's your--?
Still hurts.
But it's not bothering me
right now.
Ow.
[ringing]
UhI'll be right back.
I have touh,
sneeze.
And no matter what
you hear in that alley,
don't come in.
A sneeze?
Yeah, it's like a three
or four hankie deal.
Promise me.
Uh, okayI promise,
I guess.
But seriously:
allergy medicine.
Look into it.
I'll be back in a second.
Dude, you done sneezing?
Toughen up.
I brought you a tissue.
And a towel.
And a squeegee.
[growls]
[growls]
[roars]
[loud roar]
Oh, it's you.
[snarls]
♪
♪
♪
♪
Woo-hoo!!!!!
We came as soon as we got
the thingy.
The call.
Okay, "call."
So, I'm not on top
of all the fancy jargon.
So, Mr. Stockley
has double-checked
the test results?
Yeah, and I triple
checked him.
Listen, I know this is
my first assignment
and I just want you
to know
I'm ready to fight
all the super villains
and rid Lakewood of this
rampaging crime wave.
There is no crime wave.
We fight monsters.
Whatever.
Do you guys have a secret
moon base or something?
Hayley, I'd love for you to give
you a private tour.
Pass.
We've got plenty of problems
here on earth.
So, have you seen anything?
I thought I did,
but now it's gone and
TroopGrid's saying
there are no
monsters anywhere.
We've been getting a lot of
false alarms lately.
Yeah.
I think I've lost my date.
Date?
What date?
Cadence.
Oh, I didn't know you
two were together.
Together is a very
fluid word.
Interesting.
I mean, I'm so happy
for you guys.
It's awesome and
great and awesome.
I am so happy that
you're just so happy.
Hey, when will I be
able to talk to
all the creatures of the sea?
Stop talking.
You got it.
Hey, guys, I'm part of a secret
organization!
Us three! Right here!!
[growls]
This is when we run.
Okay.
I didn't recognize
my own sister at first.
You've been playing
human too long.
I am human, Chino.
At least half-human.
You are too.
That's the part
I try to forget.
What are you doing here?
Just visiting.
So who's the meal
you're hanging with?
Do not eat him!
What do you care,
is he your boyfriend?
Oh
You really shouldn't play
with your food, sister.
Unlike you, I don't
eat human.
You're missing out.
Cadence.
So what do you
feast on?
You prefer garbage now?
Go on take a bit,
garbage girl.
Show me how much more tasty
this is than human.
You're starving
yourself because you
won't eat your friends.
We crave the taste
of blood, why resist?
There you are!
You okay?
Cadence, uh, skunk?
I wasjust giving it
mouth to mouth.
But it's conscious.
Yeah, now!
Be free delicious skunk!
I mean be free.
You actually gave that thing
mouth to mouth?
I bet you'll get
a good night kiss.
She doesn't seem
too picky.
Eww.
What is she doing here?
Nothing secret,
that's for sure!
Uh just ran into them
over there.
So, I guess we'll
catch you guys later.
Don't forget your board.
We really need to talk
about you and Jake.
Have fun on your date.
I hope there's not
another varmint emergency.
I know I'm new here,
but I just have to say:
jealousy is not a good
color on you.
Besides, you and I both know
you could do better.
Just stopseriously.
[straining grunts]
Okay, how many is that?
One.
[out of breath]
[British accent]
I guess that's
it for today, ay what?
No, we just started, and
what's with the British accent?
Who knows if I'm going
to have to fool a monster
into thinking I'm not
a British super agent.
I do and you won't.
As a member of the Troop,
I need to be prepared
for anything.
And right now
that's push-ups.
Or push up as
the case may be.
What are you doing here,
Chino?
Looking for a snack.
Not here.
Not anywhere in this town.
You understand me?
I don't want you here,
Chino.
You're really going human,
aren't you?
Pathetic.
They'll turn on you,
you know.
This time it's different.
You don't know them like
Chino, you've got to go.
Hey!
You've been avoiding me,
Cadence.
I'm sure I'm not the first.
Don't you walk away
from me.
Okay, look, you want
to talk about something?
Go ahead.
Let's talk it out.
Have you told Jake
your little secret?
[bell ringing]
Aw, bummer, can't talk now.
I've gotta get to class.
You're half monster.
Kind of an important thing
for Jake to know,
don't you think?
And I will tell him.
I just want to do it
in the right way.
At the right time.
Look I promised I wouldn't
tell anyone about you
and I've kept
that promise.
But Jake deserves
to know.
Either you tell him
or I will.
Give me a day.
I'll
tell him.
Hello, ladies.
Everything okay?
We'll see by
the end of the day.
Let's go, Jake.
Excuse me, champ
Are you a student here?
What's it matter to you?
First off, Slick,
[slurp]
no one walks through my hall
without permission.
The City of Lakewood
might own the school,
but Deputy Security Guard
Rusty Carrol owns this hallway,
which happens to have
a perfect safety record.
You copy me,
cool breeze?
So I'm going to have
to ask you to leave.
You can ask.
But how are you
gonna make me?
[laughs]
See this?
I wear EPU's to protect
my ears.
Ear protective units
for the layman.
But you?
Oh, yeah.
This whistle is going
to hurt you.
Not as much as this
is going to hurt you.
[growls]
Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!
♪
[gunfire]
[gunfire]
Ahh!!!!!!!!
[gunfire]
Impressive shooting.
I know, right?
Only next time, let's try
having target practice
at the shooting range
and not our headquarters.
You guys have a shooting
range?
[siren]
Alright, I'm checking
it out now.
Probably just another
false alarm.
Analyzing.
Analysis complete.
Monster type verified:
Cadence!
Jake!
Okay, I got it:
wood shavings, night crawlers
and pickled beets.
Absolutely.
There's no topping I wouldn't
eat on frozen yogurt.
Eww.
Hey Jake, good to see you.
I need to talk to you
for a second?
I'm kind of busy
right now.
It's important.
He said he's busy.
Move and I'll blast you!!!
What are you doing
with that odd thing
I've never seen before
but looks extremely dangerous.
She knows who we are,
Jake.
But has she told you
what she is?
I was going to.
Really?
Was that before or after you ate
one of the security guards?
What are you
talking about?
She's a monster, Jake.
A Blood Thrasher
to be precise.
The exact kind of monster
TroopGrid just identified
as having attacked Rusty.
No way.
Cadence isn't a mon
ster.
I'm half.
But I'm half human, too.
Look, no one's perfect.
You've got yogurt
on your shirt.
You knew and didn't
tell me?!
Yogurt washes right out.
Not about the yogurt!
About her!
I thought she'd tell
you herself.
Come on, we need to go!
Let's go.
I was with Jake
all afternoon.
Tell her.
She was.
So, there's suddenly a whole
herd of Blood Thrashers
in Lakewood?
No, just my brother.
[Both]: Brother?!
Geez, what else don't
I know about you?!
There's no way Chino
did this.
Just let me straighten
it out.
Come on, Jake.
Please, Jake.
Just give me a chance.
We can't risk it,
Jake.
I've learned to control
my monster side
and I know I can teach
my brother to do the same.
You'll see his bark
is way worse than his bite.
He ate a security guard.
Okay, bad choice of words
But please.
Jake?
I'm
sorry, Cadence.
You know, you have quite a nice
touch on that keyboard.
And your hair smells
like fresh strawberries.
Take another sniff,
it'll be your last.
Back up.
Our TroopGrid sensors
are set up all over town
attuned to Blood Thrashers.
When Chino shows up,
we'll find him.
You okay?
Not really.
I can't seem to date anyone
but monster girls.
Last year it was Laurel,
the Tree Girl.
Now Cadence, the Thrasher.
Why can't I just date a
non-monster girl, Hayley?
Yeah!
Why can't you?
I've got my eye on
a non-monster girl.
Mr. Stockley,
a two-member Troop
might just be the innovation
we need.
I'm less worried
about Etienne and more
concerned with Chino.
Thrashers are tough,
vicious and scary fast.
[beeping]
We got a Blood Thrasher
reading at Hannigan's.
The Visconsinator should
slow it down enough
for us to subdue him
and bring him in.
Good plan, Jake, you take
care of that.
Hayley and I are going
to the movies.
I'm a little short on cash
so we'll go Dutch.
[laughs]
Okay, fine, fine, fine!
Popcorn's on me.
Ow!
Not again, Chino!
Get off me, Sis!
You've gotta leave town.
Now.
The monster hunters.
They're here in Lakewood.
And Jake is one of them.
And they know about me?
About you?
Yes.
Did they welcome you,
treat you like one of
their own?
They rejected you,
didn't they?
Only because of
what you did!!!
No, they rejected you
because of who we are.
And that's why you'll never
fit in with the humans.
Because you'll always
be a monster,
Cadence.
Just remember: firm grip,
apply even pressure
and once you have
the right setting,
it's just a matter of
keeping it moving.
Are you sure this will help me
be a better monster hunter?
Absolutely.
And when you're done
with this,
we're going to hone
your balance and agility
by washing the windows
in my office.
We've got a pigeon problem.
Iron on, iron off, iron on,
iron off.
Chino!!!
Where do you think
you're going?!
Anywhere I want.
You need to put your
hands up slow.
You do that and we can send
you back to your world.
Alive.
You don't and we take you out,
right here, right now!
I guess I don't have
much choice, do I?
Except no one takes
me alive.
Hayley!
Hayley?
Hayley, are you okay?
[coughs]
Hayley?
It's okay, okay.
I'll let Mr. Stockley know
we got him.
Yeah.
[loud roars]
[bell ringing]
Blood Thrashers are heavier
than they look.
How's he doing?
He should wake up
in about an hour,
safely back in
the holding cell.
Oh, there you guys are!
I think I've invented
the perfect weapon
to battle the Blood Thrasher.
Actually, Etienne--
Don't be jealous.
Just letting my natural
talents run free
for the benefit of
our secret society.
But we've already caught--
Caught on that
I'm super smart.
Yeah, took you
long enough.
Question: How do you
stop a monster
that's too fast to shoot?
Answer: You create a cloud
of debilitating spray.
And that's exactly
what I've done.
This is the perfect mixture
of hot sauce, raw onion
and fiberglass insulation.
One spray of this
and the monster--
[screams]
Ahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The pain!!!!!
The pain is exquisite!!!!!
[screams]
Ahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh!
Ah!
Oh!!
Ahhh!!!
There is no way
he passed that test.
Guys guys
you still there?
Hello?
[growls]
What are you gonna
say to Cadence?
I don't know.
What do you say to your
monster girlfriend
when you've shocked
and caged her brother?
[loud roars]
My brother was right:
I never should
have trusted you!
[loud roars]
Cadence, I'm afraid we're
going to have to break up.
And listen, it's not you.
It's me.
Okay, maybe it is you.
My girlfriends don't usually
try and destroy me.
I'm not your girlfriend!
Emergency!
I got an alert that a
monster's loose in Troop HQ!
Don't worry Hayley,
Etienne is here!
Ahhhhh!!!!!!
Go ahead, do it!!
It's so easy for you!
You destroyed my brother!
That's not true!
How can I believe
anything you say!
I'm not the one who lied
about being a monster!
You know the truth now.
Do it!
I can't
You're weak!
But I can do this.
[loud roar]
You missed.
No. I didn't.
[loud roar]
I wish it could be
different, Cadence.
[loud roars]
I'm so sorry, Jake.
What happened?
The threat's been eliminated.
You're welcome.
So, how about that movie?
I've already seen it.
I didn't say which one.
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