Your Friends & Neighbors (2025) s02e05 Episode Script

1
Everything okay there, Suzanne?
We took some mushrooms.
Are we doing that now?
It's like they're
heat-activated or something.
Peter and I did some chocolate
mushrooms a few weeks ago.
He said I behaved very strangely.
Fuck Peter. You do you.
Technically, if you fuck
Peter, you're doing him.
I don't fuck Peter. Peter fucks me.
Sometimes well, sometimes not so well.
Sometimes Brad fucks on me.
Okay, is that something
we want to unpack right now?
Well, I… like, I don't know.
I mean, it's not a thing yet.
Is it?
I think it's a thing.
No.
- Really?
- No.
- Mel, sit.
- Yay.
- Mel. Hi.
- Hi.
- Mel.
- Hi, honey.
- Hi.
- Hey.
What did I miss?
Well, Suzanne is high as
shit, and Maggie, less so.
And Sam and Owen
ashe are a thing now.
No, we are not a thing. We're not a thing.
Not a thing.
I heard that you two took a little
break in Gretchen's powder room.
What?
That is not entirely inaccurate.
It's a very nice bathroom.
There's no shame. No, he's
a stupidly handsome man.
Very symmetrical in the face.
Gretch, do you think he's had filler?
If he has, it's very subtle.
I think he's yummy.
Good for you, Sam.
What's wrong?
Nothing.
Just hot.
It's a sauna.
Sorry, guys.
It is what it is.
Baby steps.
Why would you buy this?
We don't watch anything
that needs to be this big.
It makes it more of a
theatrical experience.
It's not a theater. It's our living room.
This way after you fall asleep, I can
come downstairs and watch movies.
You fall asleep before I do.
Rumors and hearsay.
- I think it's cool, grandpa.
- See, hunter thinks it's cool.
You know, dad, I got a
guy that hangs these things.
Yeah, and I got two guys right here.
Okay, let's lift it.
What is it?
Nothing. I just tweaked my back.
That sounded like more than a tweak.
Hold on. Can you…
hey. How we looking?
The subscription
agreements are papered,
so everything is nearly finalized.
But not fully?
One of the investors wants to meet.
Cricket birch.
It's not personal.
She insists on meeting with anyone
taking a significant position in the fund.
Jack was wondering if you
were free to join him for drinks
at his house tonight so we
can come up with a game plan.
I'll send you the address.
No, I know where he lives.
All right, thanks.
I'm calling my guy.
Excuse me.
Hey, excuse me, you can't just sit here.
Hello! Hey.
Are you kidding me?
I'm really sorry. I already
called the driver twice.
And this isn't the first
time this has happened.
I've been blocked in here more
than once by a blue pickup truck.
Yeah, that's actually my truck.
I'm really sorry about that.
It's just that this road
doesn't give us many options.
Blocking my driveway isn't an option.
I know. And you're right.
What's your name?
Melanie. Cooper.
Hey, Melanie, I'm Miguel.
I'm the foreman.
That's really great, Miguel,
but I'm getting old here.
Can't you move it?
He'll be here in just a second, okay?
Wait, wait.
Did they tell you to block my driveway?
What?
Nothing, never mind.
Here he is now. Hey!
You've left this woman stuck.
What's up?
Come on!
There's not enough parking here.
All right, go, go, go.
Now, go, go.
Here, give me your phone.
- I'm sorry, what?
- Well, I'll give you my number.
If it happens again, you call me
and I'll get it cleared
before they can block you.
You want to give me your number?
Sure.
And now I have yours.
Real smooth, Miguel.
Bye.
New painting?
Was it insured?
Of course it was, but that's not the point.
I loved that fucking painting.
It's the first piece of art I ever bought.
Sorry about that.
Yeah, me too.
Here, I can take you
through the numbers.
We're not here to sell excelsior to
Coop, we're here to sell Coop to cricket.
That's not about the numbers.
What, then?
Cricket birch is the majority
investor in excelsior because over time
she's parked a good chunk
of her family's fortune in it.
Your business is brand new.
She needs assurances that you're
not here today and gone tomorrow.
- I can do that.
- Well, cricket's not an idiot.
- Last time you left it left
- look, I didn't leave.
Semantics.
The point is, our disagreement
made a bit of a splash.
Meaning, you talked shit
about me all over midtown.
Exactly. And Europe.
So, you can understand why
she finds it strange that suddenly,
we're back in bed together again.
I'm finding it pretty strange
myself, if I'm being honest.
It's $400 million.
If she knows you, she
knows what a whore you are.
- Coop.
- It's fine, Liv.
Coop is a client now.
He can talk all the shit
he wants to about us.
- Jack.
- Liv.
- Liv.
- What?
I thought we were just
saying each other's names.
Jesus Christ.
Another drink anyone?
Sorry, I gotta take this.
I will be back in a bit.
So, do you think you
can manage to stay out
of your own way long
enough to close this deal?
I'll close the deal. Don't worry about it.
It's my job to worry about it.
You know, Jack only put you
on this to fuck with both of us.
- Don't do that.
- What?
Jack put me on this
because while he may be an
oozing prick of a human being,
he knows I'm damn good at my job.
Well, take it from me,
being good at your job
isn't always an asset
when it comes to Jack.
All right, kids, I really gotta wrap this up.
Did you give him the itinerary?
Peloponnese?
I assume you'll do us the
courtesy of showing up this time.
It ruined all my school clothes.
Well. Here.
I only sort of wore this.
Do you think I made a mistake?
I mean, yeah. Always put it on delicate.
Not with my laundry.
With my life.
Are you asking me for advice?
Do you know that song "fell
on black days" by sound garden?
- No.
- My god.
You have to listen to
it. It's so fucking good.
Anyway, it's about how
you can wake up one day
and the things that you cared about most
in your life suddenly feel
meaningless and wrong.
And we all go through times where
we question our choices, you know.
And you wonder if it wouldn't
be easier to just go with the flow.
But whenever that happens,
the thing that I remind myself,
is that no matter what
I'm worried about…
Shit balls, we're gonna be late for school.
Come on, you're my ride.
It is.
Barney. What's good, man?
I don't know. What's going on?
Barney, this is Luc
demille. He's a she's guy.
- Nice to meet you, Mr. Choi.
- Ashe's guy?
His general counsel,
though I wear many hats.
General counsel?
Is ashe suing us?
I'm here to oversee a review
of Nick's strong ass gyms.
And why would you be reviewing us?
That's what I wanted to tell you.
Ashe is buying in.
Just like that?
Well, subject to due diligence
of the company's financials.
It's standard practice
for all new investments.
Could you just excuse us for a second?
It'll be quick.
What the hell are you doing, Nick?
Look. I know, I know I
should have told you sooner,
250 strong ass gyms
across the country by 2028.
Yes, I heard the spiel.
He was making friends with an NBA
star, but we have a good plan, Nick.
Slow and steady growth.
He'll commit 30 mill.
Thirty million dollars?
He's got a whole franchise team.
We're gonna blow this thing up.
We don't know this guy, Nick.
Well, we've got 30 million
reasons to get to know him.
Not like this.
You take money like
that, and he'll own you.
- Okay. Calm down.
- There is a process to this, okay?
And why is he looking
through our books?
- Don't you mean my books?
- I want to look at his books.
I want to talk to his bankers.
I want to check his credit.
I can't let you do this, Nick hey!
I don't work for you.
Okay. Okay. That's not what I meant.
Matter of fact, you work for me.
- I know.
- Do you?
Yes, yes, and it's my job to
protect you from deals like this.
Look, man. I was an NBA champion.
I don't go from that to
running a gym, or two gyms.
I need to leave a bigger Mark than that.
You're blowing up all over TV, Nick.
Maybe.
You said it yourself, Barney.
Former athletes have a window,
and I know mine will close before
I'm ready, just like my career did.
If I've learned anything,
it's that when an opportunity like
this comes around, I have to grab it.
You can get on board, or
you can quit, but I'm doing this.
Gentlemen, is there a problem?
Is there a problem, Barney?
Mr. Demille, was it?
That's right.
How can I help?
Well, for starters, I'm gonna
need all your passwords.
Of course you will.
The fairy melusine, built
in 2012 by nereids yachts,
the apex of nautical luxury.
If you have fuck-you
money, you buy a modest,
entry-level nereids
for around three million.
If you have fuck-it-all money,
you have them design a mega yacht
to your custom specifications, for a
price on par with a naval destroyer.
And you give them one
directive… length over all.
At 197 feet with a 875 gross tonnage,
the fairy melusine is
powered by caterpillar engines
that give her 5,000 horsepower
and a maximum speed of 17 knots.
Jesus.
I gotta take this. Go ahead, I'll catch up.
I'll just be a second. Yeah, Barney?
- So, some news.
- Yeah, now's not a great time.
Ashe is investing in the gym.
What? You mean, he's considering it?
No, no. He seems to
have already committed.
And Nick didn't tell you?
No, he did. Today.
Well, can you talk him out of it?
I was hoping you would.
It would be highly suspicious
for his business manager
to try to talk him out of 30 million bucks.
Thirty million?
Yeah, they're looking at
the books as we speak.
- Well, that's not good. Are you worried?
- No.
You sound worried.
Well, I'm worried I might get worried.
Look, I'm sure ashe is
just putting on a show
to let Nick know how
serious he is about this.
It's a… it's a perfunctory review.
They won't get into cash flow.
It'll be fine, we're fine. I'm fine.
I got this.
I got this.
Ms. Birch is finishing her call.
Thank you.
- Here we are.
- Good.
Cricket birch made her
money the old-fashioned way.
She inherited it.
But that didn't make
her any less formidable.
She was Oxford educated,
boardroom tested,
and unlike many of her ilk,
she had actually grown the
principal instead of squandering it.
Which made her something of
a unicorn in the financial world.
And, if the rumors were true,
on certain highly-exclusive
dating apps as well.
- Jack, lovely to see you as always.
- You too, cricket.
You remember Andrew Cooper?
Hello, Coop. It's been a minute.
That it has. Nice boat.
This old thing.
Shall we?
You'll see Coop's investment
shifts a sizable portion
of the fund's beta to equity,
mitigating your exposure.
- It's okay, Jack.
- And by q4, you could
I don't need the dogs and
ponies, I've done the math.
I'll have to come ready, right?
All right, so tell me, what can we do to
make you more comfortable with this?
You can't. I mean, not really.
Why are we here?
Because you're an old-school
closer, and I love that about you.
I've had some strottarga bianco
escorted from Austria for you.
That's very kind of you.
I will definitely try some before we leave.
No. You should try it
now while it's still fresh.
How can I say no to that?
Well, you've been awfully quiet.
Yeah, well, Jack had a plan.
Yeah, to bore me into
submission, I'm sure.
Now the adults can speak freely.
You first.
If Jack did to me what he did to
you, I would be out for revenge.
Not handing his company a management
fee on a nine-figure investment,
so you're gonna forgive me if
I'm feeling a little suspicious.
Okay.
Well, if it makes you feel any
better, I've already gotten my revenge.
You mean the Swiss.
Don't look so impressed. There's
very few secrets in our world.
Look, Jack's the devil I know, that's all.
Yeah, that may be true,
but it's definitely not all.
Losing the Swiss hurt him.
Bailey had to take the
hit, and it was a big hit,
but somehow Jack managed
to preserve excelsior's returns.
You don't need to look so impressed.
You're not the only
one that does the math.
And I honestly don't really care.
And that's where I want to be.
And it's as simple as that?
Well, no, but… that's the gist of it.
- I don't want any hot money, Coop.
- This isn't that.
No redemptions six months
in because your investors
don't have the balls for a down market.
- I'm playing the long game.
- And I'm not looking for a partner.
- I call the shots.
- Understood.
I just want to ride your coattails.
I'm having a party tonight. Can you stay?
Hi. I need some humboldt fog,
double the manchego, smokin' goat…
- You know what, he's gonna want a brie.
- Right.
Which one's the one
with the moon in the title?
Excuse me.
One minute.
- Hello?
- Elena?
Chivo. What number is this?
Elena… I need a favor.
Can it wait? I'm underwater
with Nick's housewarming.
I got arrested.
What?
I was with Luis, and wait, félix's Luis?
Are you kidding me?
Elena! I need you to get
me the fuck out of here.
Okay. I'll be there as soon as I can.
Bail is fifty thousand bucks.
Fifty thousand!
What the fuck did you do?
No, I can't.
Elena?
Hey. This is Andrew Cooper.
So, how long have you
been working for Mr. Ashe?
Long time.
Well…
This is a client, excuse me.
Barney.
Can I call you back?
I need my money.
Okay, this doesn't work like an atm.
This is an emergency,
okay? I don't care how it works.
I need $50,000 today.
That's a bit complicated at the moment.
Complicated how?
You have all my money.
I need some of it back.
You didn't hold on to any of it?
You told me I didn't need to.
Mr. Demille, would you
come take a look at this?
- I'm gonna have to call you back.
- Barney, do not hang up on me.
Okay, then.
I don't recall you being such an introvert.
No, I didn't think so.
You're very different since
the last time we saw each other.
Older.
Sadder.
Well…
A lot has happened since
the last time I saw you.
Yeah, I heard about it.
Well, then, you know.
- Hope you don't hold it against me.
- What? With my family?
It's nothing.
- And you got divorced.
- I did.
Was it bad?
Still is.
I'm really sorry, Coop.
You were one of the rare faithful
ones, or at least where I was concerned.
It was impressive.
Yes, well, it turns out there's a whole hell
who knew?
Do you remember the
conference in Berlin?
I remember we were both pretty drunk.
You're being very generous.
I think I practically threw myself at you.
You somehow managed the trick of getting
me home without making me feel rejected.
Well, I get the feeling you don't
really suffer from low self-esteem.
This is true.
Besides, if I would've slept
with you, Jack would've fired me.
Jack did fire you.
Why did you stay tonight?
Probably for the same
reason you asked me to.
Didn't Danny have a thing with this one?
Shit.
Give me a minute.
- Look, I know what you're going to say
- you promised me.
I kept my promise.
I had nothing to do with it.
Then why is my brother in jail?
Look, Luis was short.
He brought chivo along for a
run. He didn't check with me.
If it means anything,
Luis's been dealt with.
You know what would mean something?
Bail him out.
You don't have the money?
How much do you need?
Fifty thousand.
Fifty…
Chivo.
Thank you.
This is a loan.
It's bail.
You'll get it back.
What? You want to charge me interest?
No interest. No strings.
Ay.
There's always strings.
Thanks for doing this.
It's been sticking for a
while, but then today it just…
- Stayed stuck.
- My pleasure.
The hinge just needed to be tightened.
Is there anything else you need?
Yes, boss I'm on the mic
I'll try to give you what you like
I can be soft I can be
hard let me do the b-part
how delicious, mamita.
Your skin is so soft.
Your pussy is so wet!
Like a 20-year-old!
More, more! You want more?
- Si.
- Si?
Aren't you going to say anything?
What do you want me to say?
Are you trying to get deported?
What do you expect me to do?
I'm not like you. I can't
just work for nothing!
Is that what you think I'm doing?
You pick up after rich people!
It's honest work.
We came here to do better!
Are you really telling me
this is the best we can do?
This is it?
You mean my apartment?
The one you're living
in rent-free, asshole?
I'm sorry. I didn't mean
you ungrateful little shit! I missed
work to bail your sorry ass out of jail!
Don't worry.
I'll get out of your way
so you can go clean some more toilets.
Fuck you, chivo.
Anywhere but here.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
…fucking over.
Please, Jack, you have to calm
down, okay? Just breathe with me
do not give me any of that
yoga bullshit. Jesus Christ, Coop.
What's going on, pal?
God. Can you please give us a second?
- Thank you so much.
- I think I took too many of 'em.
- How many of those did you take?
- You saw them. What would you do?
It just feels like it's
about to fucking explode.
Can you release?
No, I can't! It's like a fucking steel pole!
Fuck, I think I'm having
a fucking heart attack
no, no, just relax and breathe.
You're just having a panic attack.
I'm not gonna relax!
My dick is purple!
I'm gonna get the medic.
Fuck.
Must have felt like fucking
Christmas for you seeing me like that.
No, actually it didn't.
I'm sure you'll be dining
out on it for months.
I feel like a fucking clown.
It's humiliating.
Jack, if it makes you feel any
better, it never happened, okay?
You know, not too long ago, I was you.
I was good-looking, vital.
Top of my game.
I walked into a room
and people paid attention.
My swagger had swagger, you know?
You get used to feeling that way,
you think that's how
it will always be and…
Then you realize…
You're halfway to invisible.
Well, I'm sure that'll
never happen to you, Jack.
She dismissed me from
the fucking meeting, Coop.
I run $2 billion for her, and she
sent me off to eat fucking fish eggs!
While you closed the deal.
Did you fuck her?
You fucked her.
Enjoy it while you can, Coop.
It doesn't last nearly as
long as you think it will.
One day you're gonna wake up
and you're not gonna be you anymore,
you're gonna be me.
And you're gonna realize
you haven't been the guy
that you thought you
were for a long time.
I gotta tell you, when
that realization sinks in…
It's fucking terrifying.
Thank you. Thanks, guys.
You spend your life
avoiding certain realities.
Having the truth dropped
on you by a horny old prophet
needed his throbbing
erection drained by a medic.
And as strange as it sounds,
you understand in a way you
haven't until that very moment.
Just how old you really are.
I said hi to Morgan at school,
and she gave me the stink eye.
That's better than what she gives me.
Don't worry. She's just pissed
because Delilah is a legit hottie.
- We're not…
- come on, it's fine.
She seems cool.
Plus, you're both weirdos,
so, you know, there's that.
Hey, I didn't know you were back.
I'm not back.
I'm just getting some things.
You have any clothes you want washed?
I can do my own laundry, mom.
Really?
Yes, really.
You're stuck dealing with
all that on your own now.
She's just trying to be nice.
What's your problem?
I don't think I'm the
one with the problem.
Listen, baby.
Ain't no mountain high ain't no valley low
ain't no river wide enough, baby
if you need me, call me
this week's roundup of flubs, flops,
and straight up failures
kicks off in Dallas.
Don't worry, baby just call my name
I'll be there in a hurry
you don't have to worry
'cause baby there
hey.
Baby there ain't no
mountain high enough - hey!
Hi!
I see you.
- After these, get to the mozzarella.
- Okay,
the nacho bar needs to be refreshed.
The fire is out under
one of the chafing dishes.
And can you please
remind your employees again
to only use the downstairs
bathroom please.
Yes, ma'am.
- I'm busy.
- Your boy is gone.
What!
Chivo! He flew the Coop.
I'm in your apartment and he's gone.
What the fuck are
you doing in my house?
Listen to me!
All of his stuff is gone!
He's skipping out!
Shit!
Hey, Elena, one of the
chafing dishes is out.
That's my bail money
son of a bitch! If they don't
have my fucking money…
Something wrong?
I have to go.
Right now?
Right now.
I'm sorry.
Shit.
She want to go on top girl, I
heard you like the bad boys
yeah, I'm a bad boy can't stop, won't stop
yeah, you were right.
Hey.
I'm glad you made it.
Sensei.
Okay, don't hate on my vibe.
Look at this place. It's quite something.
Hi.
And they are quite something.
Which one's your date?
All of them?
Come on. I couldn't
even handle one of you.
Hey, how's the book coming along?
- Good, really good.
- Really?
- No, not really.
- No?
What's up, Nick?
Hey, gordy.
- Hey, man.
- What's up?
- I'll catch you later.
- Yes.
- Your house is something else.
- My god. I mean, look at this house.
Lisa. I appreciate you.
Thank you.
Cool!
Not bad.
- Hey, are you okay?
- Why?
You are stress eating.
Hey.
All good.
Work though, it was only…
Hey, is this weird for you?
A parade of twenty-something
models walking around like concubines.
I mean, he's probably
gonna have an orgy later.
Well, that was fucking
weird. Thanks for that.
Don't you guys think this is
more house than he needs?
He's a professional athlete.
He's gotta represent.
The smaller houses didn't have
basketball courts in the basement.
Sure. Sure.
Hi, everybody.
Hi. My… yes, please.
What about me? Am I not handsome?
You're a Westchester seven.
I'll take it.
Hi.
- Hey.
- Mel, you don't have a drink.
I'm not… I'm not drinking tonight.
Honey, no one even noticed.
Grace, do you need a refill?
No, I'm not drinking tonight either.
Wait. Okay, what is
happening right now?
Okay. Wait, we're all
just not drinking anymore?
- No, it's
- no, nothing like that.
I just…
Solidarity with Mel.
My god, you're pregnant.
What?
- I can always tell these things. Are you?
- It's her gift.
Except when she's wrong, which is
more than occasionally, less than often.
- Be right back.
- Wait.
Excuse me. What the fuck?
Ladies, come here.
Grace is pregnant.
- What?
- Yes, she is.
Grace!
You are so fucking young. I hate you.
Hi, could you take care of this
for me? Thank you so much.
- Hey, guys!
- Hey.
- How are you?
- Good.
What's the commotion over there?
- What?
- Yeah, not planned.
I'm gonna go say congrats.
Okay. How are you?
What are we talking about?
- You know. Things.
- Business.
Come on, you.
- I'll catch you later.
- That was fun.
Hey, congratulations, my
friend. It's a beautiful thing.
Thanks, thanks.
Yes, and hey, congrats to you on
joining our strong ass gym family.
I know, right? I mean,
I'm super pumped about it.
I met your guy demille.
Yeah, great. Right, right,
right. Thank you for doing that.
Yeah, I know he could be a little,
yeah, yeah. No, he is great.
Listen. I could easily
prepare everything for you.
I've been working with Nick a long time.
I know where all the bodies are buried.
Not that there are any, so.
No, no, no, no, I know it's…
look, it's nothing personal.
Truth is, I've been dry fucked before.
I have a habit of making
impulsive decisions.
That's why I have
demille. He's a details guy.
Like you. He keeps me in check.
Of course. God's in the details, right?
- That's right.
- You got… you got a timeline? Or…
It usually takes about a few weeks,
but he'll just do a full audit of your books,
and then we'll set up a
template for scaling up.
Yeah.
An audit?
Yeah. Due diligence,
my friend, due diligence.
Come on, let's get fucked up.
Coop! Yes, sir, you made it.
- Hey.
- What's going on?
Well, nice to see you. Hello, gentlemen.
- Fellas, this is my buddy Coop.
- How are we doing?
- Hi. Nice to see you. Hey.
- Hey.
I'm gonna get a drink. I'll be right back.
- Yeah.
- What's up, brother.
Good to see you, pal.
So, guys, none of you ever
tried to play in the NBA or what?
- Dude.
- What?
- Be cool. Let them enjoy the party.
- Is that not cool?
- Come on.
- No, it's not cool. It's obnoxious.
I pull out the weeds and
the breeze take 'em off
to somewhere far where
they won't cause harm
this rebound shit is legit and a trip
baby, time will tell if it gels or we quit
is it safe?
Very funny.
It's water.
You okay?
Her being around. How
does it not bother you?
I don't know. Maybe I
have bigger problems.
Look, it was a hard year for all of us.
Sam too, but we're all still here.
Maybe, we should just do
our best to try to get along.
- I think we're all…
- yeah.
Why does it seem like it's so
much easier for everybody else?
I'll get back to you on that.
I got to find grace.
Hey.
Here if you need me.
Okay.
L'Chaim.
We're getting dry fucked.
- What?
- Yeah.
Ashe's guys. It's a full-blown audit.
Audit?
I thought you had it handled.
I thought this was perfunctory.
Yeah, it's a perfunctory audit.
All of my money is in there.
Yeah, well, it's frozen until this is over.
Elena's gonna be pissed.
She already is.
Can I have one?
This is how we do it.
This is how we do it
this is how we do it
it's Friday night and I feel all right
come on. Let's dance. Let's dance.
- Sweetie, I'm way too sober.
- Please.
Come on, while I can still
see my toes even a little bit.
- You go.
- Okay.
Honeys in the street say
"monty, yo, we made it!"
It feels so good in my hood tonight
the summertime skirts
and the guys in kani
all the gangbangers
forgot about the drive-by
you gotta get your groove
on before you go get paid
one sec.
- What?
- I'll be right back.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm kinda buzzed and it's all because
this is how we do it
south central does it like nobody does.
Wow.
Come on.
- No way.
- Mel.
No, I'm not doing this now.
Well, is there any time that
you think would be good for us
to, you know, get together and talk?
Kinda busy these days.
I just wanna talk to you.
- I just
- what? You wanna explain?
Like, you can chalk this up to
some kind of misunderstanding?
Apologize.
- You want to apologize.
- I was gonna say apologize.
Really?
Yes.
I don't think you fully
comprehend what you did.
And frankly, I think it's insane that all
these people here seem to have forgotten
I don't care about all of
these people. I care about you.
If you cared about me, you
wouldn't have fucked my husband.
- Is that what this is about for you?
- No, that's not what I meant.
Because if that's the case, this
will be a much easier conversation.
It isn't, and we're not
having a conversation.
It feels like we might be.
That's because you won't stop talking.
I know, because you
won't fucking hear me.
Maybe you've forgotten because
you haven't talked to me in, like, a year,
but I can go on and on
and on until you hear me out.
I will wear you the fuck down, Mel.
You were gonna destroy my
family for a $20 million payout.
You know what I think?
I think you're probably
a narcissistic sociopath.
And that is my professional opinion
as an experienced therapist who has a
my god.
- My god.
- Fuck!
- Wait, Mel, are you okay?
- Just don't touch me.
- Are you okay?
- Just please, please leave me alone.
It looked like a really hard fall, and
I just wanna make sure you're okay.
Out of everyone.
You. Out of everyone.
You were my friend.
I know.
I don't understand how you could do that,
and I don't understand why everyone
loves you again, and they hate me.
- What? No one hates you.
- Yes, they do.
My daughter hates me.
My neighbor hates me.
Their fucking dog hates me! Dogs
are supposed to love everybody.
My body hates me.
Nothing works anymore.
I'm a dried husk who can't come!
Yeah.
I know…
What I did was awful.
And I'm so sorry about it all.
I just need you to know I am so sorry
that I don't have room
in me for anything else.
I am exclusively and perpetually sorry.
I look back, and I don't even
know who that person was.
I think I was just drowning so long
without realizing and then
suddenly I'm like out of air,
and I panicked, and I
did a terrible, terrible thing,
and I know you won't forgive me.
I mean, why the hell would you?
And even if you did,
I'll never forgive myself.
It hangs over my head
every minute of every day.
Like a dark storm of, like, regret
and self-loathing, and I hate myself.
I hate myself, and I hate
so much that I hurt you, Mel.
Okay.
And now I'll go.
Wait.
Sit here a minute.
- I just
- but don't talk.
Chivo.
Got enough cheese there, Brad?
- Yeah, this is good.
- No. Fuck.
Now, I want you to be honest, Tony.
Would you ever hang something
like this in your own home?
Fuck, no.
Coop, you've gotta stop
Nick from hanging this up.
I gotta take this. Sorry, guys.
There he is!
Coop. There's my badass motherfucker.
- You did it.
- Okay?
Excelsior, you did it.
I didn't think you'd be able to pull it off.
- No offense.
- None taken.
You are a fucking legend. You
know that? We're gonna celebrate.
We're gonna fucking party right now.
We're gonna celebrate. We're gonna party.
- Let's party. Let's go.
- You know, I just have to take this call.
Give me… give me one second. Thanks.
Hey, yeah…
What?
No…
No, no, no, you stay there.
I'll be there as soon as I can.
We good?
My dad just died.